The Survivors of Salem 2
AndrewJTalon
Experienced.
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- Apr 24, 2015
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Honestly?
Jaune probably wouldn't do a bad job.
The others though........
Jaune - "Why is the back of the truck only filled with tuna and cookies?!?"
Blake - "You said we needed to scavenge essentials for the Radian refugee camp!"
Ruby - "Yeah, essentials!"
Jaune - "Urrgh! Well, I'm sure Weiss and Yang were more sensible, and got those supplies & staff for the hospital."
Some time later.....Yang - "Hey everyone, we're back!"
Jaune - "Oh, thank god! Ruby and Blake totally screwed up and..... what's that?"
Yang - "I got all the shampoo and conditioner the hospital pharmacy had. A girls got to look her best stud!"
Jaune - "Weiss, please tell me you brought back some doctors or nurses to help with hospital here in Radian...."
Weiss - "Why? There are already plenty. I found something far more valuable!"
Jaune - "Dare, I ask what?"
Weiss - "A baker, to replace my beloved cake butler!"
Some more time later...
Jaune: "Okay Ruby, first? Thank you for fixing all our vehicles and finding the spare parts."
Ruby: "Don't worry! I'll keep our fleet of vehicles running for years!"
Jaune: "But why did you turn one of them into a robot dog?"
Ruby: "His name is Zwei-II, and he's a good boy!"
Jaune: "He's humping the tractor."
Ruby: "He's young! He'll learn!"
Jaune: "He's going to wreck the transmission."
Ruby: "He's trying his best!"
Jaune: "We need that for food."
Ruby: "The tractor looked like a whore anyway!"
Even more later...
Nick: "Well... That witch sure was a bitch. Unleashing an attack that devastated the planet. But hey! No more Grimm means we can rebuild! But we're gonna need a lot more people to do it!"
Jaune: "Sure are Dad."
Nick: "Which is why your mother and I are having another baby!"
Jaune: "Woah, really?!"
Isabel: "Yes! I used my Semblance and now I'm pregnant again..." Deep sigh "However, given how low the population is... Well..."
Willow: "HAHAHA! I WIN ISABEL!"
Nick: firmly "Willow."
Willow: "Ahem. I mean, I will be a loving and supportive sister wife?"
Nick: "Good."
Jaune: "What."
Isabel: "Well... I suggested that polygamy might be a valid method of increasing the population in the short term. We'll have to be very careful to avoid inbreeding or devolving back into a hunter-gatherer society ruled by harem keeping men, but it is something we'll have to make use of to ensure there is a tomorrow. So yes, Willow will be joining our family."
Willow: "I'm so glad, Jaune! Nick was... Well..." blush "I'm so glad I'll be here! Building a family! And having Nick's children!"
Isabel: "Just remember who was here first?"
Willow: "I'll try."
Glynda: "Ahem... I too will be joining the household, Mister Arc... I mean Jaune."
Jaune: "Professor Goodwitch?!"
Glynda: "It helps we're still friends. Plus, Nick is more tolerable than Qrow. Far fewer fart jokes."
Willow: "And he's hung like a horse!"
Glynda: blush "... That also helps."
Isabel: irritated sigh "Yes, well... It would be best to raise the children in a stable family unit so here we are."
Nick: "Don't worry Izzy! I love you! And I love you all!" hugs them happily "I promise, I'll love all of you and our kids until you get sick of it! Ahahaha!"
Isabel: blush, smile "Well... Maybe this won't be so bad..."
Nick: "And the rest of you young people will have to sort out things yourselves!"
Jaune: "Eh? You mean...? Um..."
Isabel: "Yes Jaune, you're probably going to need to take multiple wives as well."
Jaune: "Oh... Well... Can I talk to them one on one before that happens?"
Isabel: "Of course. This is a very serious discussion you need to have with the women in your life-"
Nick: "HEY LADIES! WE'VE DECIDED TO GO FOR POLYGAMY! YOU GUYS SORT OUT WHO WILL MARRY JAUNE AND IN WHAT ORDER!"
Isabel: "NIIIIICK!"
Nick: "What? Better to rip the band-aid off! Besides, I'm sure they're all very rational and reasonable young ladies-"
Weiss: "HE'S MINE YOU BITCHES!"
Ruby: "LIKE HELL! EAT SCYTHE YOU STUCK UP BITCH!"
Yang: "I'M NOT ENDING UP A LONELY LESBIAN WITH A CAT! TAKE THAT!"
Blake: "EXCUSE YOU BITCH?! HE'S MINE!"
Violence ensues.
Nick: "See? Totally rational!"
Jaune: moans
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