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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

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Babysitter Jaune: The Pool 2 New
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    • Teams JNPR and RWBY went to a cluster of poolside chairs to put down their stuff, relax, and coo over Baby Tom. That was mostly Weiss, Yang, Pyrrha, and Ruby, but Blake couldn't hide her own small smiles and blushes as the baby was coddled. He was a very happy baby, too, snuggling up to any of the girls with ease.

    "So uh," Jaune winced, "I hate to do this, but I gotta use the bathroom. Can one of you-?"

    "Of course Jaune!" Yang said cheerfully, hugging Tom close to her chest, "I got this! You just hurry back here Stud, okay?" She winked, and Jaune blushed.

    Pyrrha seethed. Weiss scowled. Ruby pouted. Blake stared. Nora and Ren happily ate their snacks, with the shortstack orangette taking her place on Ren's lap.

    "Thanks Yang," Jaune sighed with a smile, "I won't be long, promise."

    The moment Jaune was out of earshot, Yang turned and shot a shit eating grin at the other young Huntresses-in-training.

    "What was that, Yang?" Ruby demanded. "I want to babysit!"

    "I've got more experience handling babies than any of you," Yang sniffed, "And I've got the best software for it, too." She smirked as Tom snuggled into her cleavage.

    "Th-That doesn't-I want to cuddle Tom!" Weiss growled.

    "You can cuddle Tom! I'll cuddle Jaune!"

    All eyes went to Pyrrha. The redhead blushed.

    "I said that out loud didn't I?" She mumbled.

    Yang's smirk grew just a hair.

    "Oho? Finally got some ovaries, P-Money?"

    "I liked him before you started-started salivating over him like-like-!" Pyrrha sputtered.

    "Lusty rabbit faunus in heat?" Blake suggested.

    "Y-YES!" Pyrrha nodded rapidly.

    "HEY!" All eyes turned to Velvet, who was sitting with Coco on some beach chairs in their own fetching swimwear, "That's racist!"

    "Not from a Faunus," Blake sniffed, even as Velvet's scowl intensified.

    "Well," Yang said smugly, "I think I might do more than salivate, hm? I mean, he cooks, he cleans, he's trim, and good with kids? He's definitely house husband material."

    "HEY! He was my best friend first!" Ruby pouted. "I wanna-wanna try stuff with him!"

    "Like hell you are!" Yang growled.

    "You can't stop me!" Ruby hissed.

    "Please," Weiss huffed, "He has a crush on me. Maybe I'll reciprocate. A little." She blushed. "A bit."

    "Had a crush!" Ruby laughed. "He's done with you!"

    "How will you ask him out," Pyrrha asked, an ominous light in her eyes, "if I break all your legs first?"

    "GO PYRRHA GO!" Nora cheered.

    "Please," Blake sniffed, "None of you have even the slightest idea of how to handle a romantic relationship."

    "Oh, and you do?" Yang snorted.

    "Yes I do... Virgin," Blake stated intently. Yang blushed and scowled.

    "BLAKE!"

    "So wait, all that bragging about boys you did-?" Ruby asked. Yang flushed brightly.

    "I-I didn't actually go all the way! I-I had you to worry about!"

    "Awww," Nora and Ruby cooed, before looking at each other. Ruby coughed.

    "B-Be that as it may... I will not let you just-just take him for yourself!"

    "So do the rest of us," Pyrrha growled, "But I'm going to win."

    "H-He's not just some prize to be mounted on your wall!" Weiss scoffed.

    "I wouldn't mind him doing some mounting-"

    "YANG!" Weiss screeched.

    "You don't know what you're doing," Blake sniffed, as Jaune walked back up. "Here, watch."

    Jaune walked up with a guileless smile on his face.

    "Hey! Sorry I took so long. How's Tom?"

    "He's doing fine, Jaune," Blake said. She held up sunscreen. "I was wondering-Would you mind applying some sunscreen to my back? I have some hard to reach places."

    Pyrrha fervently wished she could rip the iron from Blake's blood as Jaune flushed.

    "Er, I mean, sure-?"

    "And perhaps you would like to pin me down and put a baby in me as I resist, breaking my resistance down until I have nothing but thoughts of you and your manly ardor overwhelming my feminine flower?" Blake pressed, blushing a bit.

    Silence descended upon the group for exactly thirty seconds. Ruby kept count. Jaune then broke down laughing hysterically, holding his stomach.

    "HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAAHAHAHAHA! W-Wow Blake! You're a riot!" He grinned at her. "Great way to break the tension!"

    "Yes... That's... That's exactly what I meant to do," Blake managed. She was getting smug looks, but she was even more smug when Jaune began to run his manly hands over her back with sunscreen.

    "Thank you, Jaune," Blake breathed sensually, leaning back against him. Jaune coughed.

    "Ah, uh..."

    "So," Blake went in for the kill, "There's a bookshop and café I've been meaning to look at. Would you like to-?"

    "OH NO JAUNE!" Pyrrha cried, grabbing Jaune from behind, "YOU'RE MISSING SUNSCREEN ON YOUR BACK! HOW ABOUT I FIX THAT FOR YOU?"

    "ACK!"

    "I-I CAN DO IT!" Weiss insisted, "WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO BURN, NOW WOULD WE JAUNE?"

    "I CAN GET HIS FRONT!" Yang grinned.

    "I CALLED THAT!" Ruby growled.

    "BWAH!"

    - - -

    Ren and Nora watched the increasingly brazen and ridiculous antics of their teammates, mostly in silence. Nora hummed.

    "Think we should help him?" She asked.

    Ren shook his head.

    "I'm sure he'll be fine."
     
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    • AndrewJTalon said:
    "So," Blake went in for the kill, "There's a bookshop and café I've been meaning to look at. Would you like to-?"

    "OH NO JAUNE!" Pyrrha cried, grabbing Jaune from behind, "YOU'RE MISSING SUNSCREEN ON YOUR BACK! HOW ABOUT I FIX THAT FOR YOU?"

    "ACK!"

    "I-I CAN DO IT!" Weiss insisted, "WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO BURN, NOW WOULD WE JAUNE?"

    "I CAN GET HIS FRONT!" Yang grinned.

    "I CALLED THAT!" Ruby growled.

    "BWAH!"
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    Morgan Freeman: Unfortunately for this one QQ member, it was discovered that he CAN keep getting away with it.
     
    CILinkz said:
    im kinda waiting for fics that split RenxNora up... its too stale and stagnant

    and its not even all that unlikely to happen as you only needed to have a split second of eye contact with someone else to be on another team... but noone does it.
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    Plus they split up in canon.

    Said as "To figure things and their feelings out".

    Plus, Jaune/Nora is another one of my fave ships.
     
    AndrewJTalon said:
    In true anime fashion, Beacon throws a school festival and each team has to do something for it! What do our heroes do?
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    Honestly? Team JNPR would probably do some kind of song and dance. While whatever team RWBY tried would inevitably destroy half the festival by mistake. Or jnpr would do a crossdressing maid and butler cafe.
     
    AndrewJTalon said:
    Again, not trying to preach. But Arslan being a warrior-nun of a Narnia-based take on Christianity in Remnant was too good an idea not to use.

    "Mensa" is Latin for "Table" and would take the place of the crucifix in this world.

    Thanks Sift Green !

    Besides, the Brother Gods are assholes. I can't be the only one who would like to see Lion-Jesus appear and kick their asses.
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    So do the later holy books keep getting weirder and thirstier?
     
    The Next Generation New
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    • The entirety of Beacon's student body has been assembled in the main auditorium. Jaune frowns and looks over at Ruby.



    Jaune: "Any idea what this is about, Ruby?"



    Ruby: "No! Blake knows but won't tell me!"



    Blake: "You should pay attention to politics."



    Ruby: "But that's borinnnng!"



    Headmaster Ozpin steps onto the stage and things quiet down.



    Ozpin: "Students. New legislation has just passed that affects all of us. To summarize things and get on with our day, I managed to get this video made."



    Ozpin steps aside and a holowindow appears, large enough for everyone to see.



    A PRODUCTION OF THE VALEAN MINISTRY OF HEALTH



    A redheaded middle aged man in a suit with a receding hairline and a large handlebar mustache is sitting in a chair in a fine study in front of a fireplace. He smiles kindly.



    Rufus Winchester: "Hello. I am Rufus Winchester, and I'm here to ask you a question. What is the purpose of Hunters? Well, that should be obvious: To protect man and Faunus from the Grimm."



    The scene changes to a battlefield of Huntsman and Huntresses bravely fighting Grimm. Rufus walks in front of this scene, and salutes the brave heros.



    Rufus: "Those of you who choose this path are noble Defenders of life on Remnant! You deserve gratitude, praise and money! Because this is a hard job, and many brave souls pay the price."



    The scene changes to a graveyard, where Rufus mournfully walks amidst the headstones.



    Rufus: "Awards, citations, medals... These are given to Hunters who give their lives in the service of us all. But the loss of these heroes is felt more acutely if they do not leave a proper legacy."



    The scene wipes to a happy family of a Huntsman and Huntress, with several kids. Rufus steps into frame again with a broad smile.



    Rufus: "Money, fame, awards: These are all holow compared to a family. Your hard work as a Hunter will be better appreciated by your children and grandchildren than any statue could."



    Huntsman: "Sure am glad I have you, my loving wife! And my wonderful children!"



    Huntress: "Same, my wonderful husband and children!"



    Children: "We love you Mom and Dad!"



    Rufus chuckles happily before turning back to the camera.



    Rufus: "Studies show that married Hunter couples are three times as likely to return home than single Hunters! And your skills and abilities will not vanish with you when you die! Indeed, children of Hunters are 90 percent likely to join their parent's professions!"



    Back to the study, where Rufus is holding a baby. Said baby is squirming a lot.



    Rufus: "Of course, having children is expensive! But that's where Council Bill 2276 comes in! Under this law, married Hunters and Hunters in training get up to sixty percent off their total taxes and are eligible for financial assistance no matter how many babies you have! Thanks to Aura, Huntresses can recover from birth and get back into fighting shape in less than three weeks!"



    The baby burps and Rufus chuckles good-naturedly.



    Rufus: "Aw, feisty little guy, isn't he?"



    Wipe to the happy family home. Rufus stands behind the happy family, hands on their shoulders.



    Rufus: "So while you are killing the scourge of the Grimm in the present, invest in your future and the future of Vale! Have a family! Save the world!"



    SPONSORED BY THE VALEAN COUNCIL AND APPROVED BY THE LION POPE.



    The video ended. Ozpin walked out, hands behind his back.



    Ozpin: "Any questions?"



    Silence. Then...



    Nora grabs Ren and brandishes her hammer.



    Nora: "HANDS OFF YOU WHORES! I SAW HIM FIRST!"



    And absolute pandemonium seemed to break out. Ozpin sighed.



    Ozpin: "Last time I play poker with Councilmembers... cheating bastard."
     
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    • Alternatively...



    Ruby: "Hey Nora? Why aren't you freaking out like so many other girls?"



    Nora: "Simple! My Renny would never choose anyone but me! I'm just going to wait for him to propose and make it official!"



    Ruby: "Oh... That's romantic!"



    Nora: "And any girl who tries to take my Renny away... Well... Breaking their kneecaps is ONLY THE BEGINNING of what I would do to them!"



    Ruby: "... Um... Still kind of romantic? I think?"
     
    AndrewJTalon said:
    Nora grabs Ren and brandishes her hammer.
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    Nora picks up Ren as she gives the horde of thirsty women a baleful glare.

    "This is mine."

    "What about him?" A nameless (soon to be corpse) girl asks as she points at Jaune.

    With a grunt Nora picks up Jaune under her arm.

    "This is also mine"

    "WHAT?!"

    "Sorry Pyhra You snooze you lose."
     
    221443 said:
    Jaune: CURRENT OBJECTIVE....SURVIVE
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    deadal said:
    Bonus Objective: Do not lose your pant!
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    221443 said:
    Jaune:why do I hear chase music?....WHY DO I HEAR BOSS MUSIC!?
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    Kl3Ay5h.jpg
     
    Last edited:
    Random thoughts and ideas.

    - What if Glynda was an actual witch.
    She's the right-hand woman/chief assistant for Ozpin, who's basically a wizard and was a legend in his time, so he probably would be a good mentor.
    Glynda might be planning to create a coven for her future husband crush.

    - Jaune is slightly autistic/neurodivergent.
    This is why he doesn't see Pyrrha's interest in him because he just doesn't really register the social cues, and he makes his feelings for Weiss known with grandiose gestures, which makes Weiss think that he's faking it to get to her family money (not helped by the fact that Jacques did that).
    I wonder what kind of stims Jaune would have?

    - Jaune knows sign language, and can thus hold a regular conversation with Neopolitan without her using body language, miming, or text messages, which is a rare thing for her, because while Roman Torchwick tried to learn, he has a negative amount of talent for it.

    - Jaune's pre-Beacon training focused a lot more on flexibility and/or agility, so Jaune would be something like an acrobat and contortionist (but can't use almost any of it when he's wearing his armour).
    Just how much could vary on preference, as Jaune could just have somewhat high realistically flexibility and agility, to being able to dislocate his joints and shift his organs around to avoid fatal damage without negative side effects like Inosuke from Demon Slayer, or more like Luther Strode/Hercules Method users where he has full control of the physiological processes of his body.
    The girls might start to have thoughts/fantasising about his flexibility and agility and the implications for what it could mean in the bedroom (somewhat similar to how Nightwing/Dick Grayson is depicted in DC Comics).

    - What if one of the main characters (rwby and jnpr) had a "Fairy Godmother", but not the cute, sparkly, kindly Disneyfied version of fairies, but a Fair Folk faerie, who is scary, dangerous, unhinged and insane by most reasonable standards (aka those of almost all human/faunus).
    They could truly want to protect them and want the best for them... in her own way, so whenever they're asked for help, or are being helpful on their own initiative, they're likely to do something that causes, confusion, chaos, seems insane or just weird (telling someone their "child" is interested in that they would make for a great concubine for their "child"), is really unhelpful in the short-term (like deliberately putting them in danger to toughen them up), and/or is only revealed to be helpful in hindsight (like making their life hell, and forces them to clean themself up, get a job and stand on his own two feet).
    They would probably do a lot of things for dramatic effect, even if it should be impossible, just because it's fun, like dramatically swivelling around in a chair, despite the fact that the chair can't swivel.
    They may also be spectacularly cruel and creative in their retribution, like manipulating events to force an enemy into a situation where they need to betray or kill someone they care about to get what they want, only to end up with nothing to show for it.
     
    Bommel said:
    - Jaune knows sign language, and can thus hold a regular conversation with Neopolitan without her using body language, miming, or text messages, which is a rare thing for her, because while Roman Torchwick tried to learn, he has a negative amount of talent for it.
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    Can probably use the backstory that's commonplace in fanfiction about one of Jaune's sister's or family members being mute/deaf and he learned Sign Language in order to easily talk to them.
     
    Part of me wishes beacon was bigger in a weird way.

    Like it seems strange to me that there's just a huntsmen/huntress class.

    It would have been more interesting if beacon had different tracks and a team was made up of kids each following a different specialization.

    Like engineer/field repair course, medical/first aid, close quarters combat specialist, long range specialist, infiltration/scouting specialist.

    Don't get me wrong a general class works and having everyone know a bit of everything is probably a good idea but I mean "Jack of all trades, master of none." Is a pretty well known saying for a reason.


    (Speaking of well known sayings did you know there's one that everyone quotes wrong?

    Blood is thicker than water.

    The actual full quote is

    The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of life.

    Literally means the exact opposite of what people think it means.)
     
    well Beacon is a lot bigger as we only saw the main characters all the time. except for the start where they bothered with the weird shadow figures. but that was a lot. tons of people in the first episodes we never saw again, tons of people in the beacon dance we never saw etc.

    safe to say you can put RWBY into the "unreliable narrator" viewpoint. lots of stuff we never saw bc the RWBY main characters never bothered with it or ignored it. Yangs friends? gone too
     
    The Next Generation: Holy Bun New
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    • Of course, Rufus will be pushing his son to lead by example.



    Rufus: "Son. I am deeply ashamed of you. You bullied a hot rabbit Faunus girl?! Really?!"



    Cardin: "I-I mean... Er... Yeah?"



    Rufus: "YOU KNOW HOW MANY GRANDKIDS SHE COULD HAVE?! AND HOW HOT SHE WOULD BE AS A MILF?!"



    Cardin: "I-I-!"



    Rufus: "Honestly son! Well... Maybe we can salvage this. Have you apologized?"



    Cardin: "Uh, yeah, but-?"



    Rufus: "Offer to take her out to Lunch. Something she likes! To apologize properly! WE CAN'T LET THIS OPPORTUNITY SLIP FROM OUR GRASP, SON!"



    Cardin: "B-B-But what if I really don't like her Dad-?!"



    Rufus: "Son. I know your CCNet search history."



    Silence.



    Cardin: "... I'll... Just go talk to her now."



    Rufus: "You're damn right you will! Honestly, a hot rabbit girl Faunus and you bully her without intent to ask her out?! Where did I go wrong?!"
     
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