[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune thought through his options as he ran through Beacon's campus. Some seemed more appealing than others.



He could always become a doctor, like his mom wanted. Run away and go on to medical school. His mom might not even be too mad with him.



He could go work with his sister Tangy. He could fight now, and she ran a paramilitary company. Though for tax purposes it was a private security and merchant banking firm.



He could join his sister Aqua. Her little company always needed extra muscle, right? He could hit something with a sword, unlike their main tank!



Though it seemed like it was some kind of harem thing and while Kazuma seemed cool? Jaune was just not into that sort of thing. Jokes about being a femboy had taken their toll growing up and he might have been... Super straight or something?



He was very comfortable in his masculinity, enough that he could wear a dress and do other 'girly' things without batting an eye, but still! A man had to have his limits!



"Jaune!"



Of course, all of that relied on him getting to a Bullhead before Yang caught and killed him. Given he heard her yelling behind him, that was not a sure bet.



"Crap crap crap!"



He sprinted for the ruins just outside the grounds. Maybe he could hide there. Live off of squirrels like a mountain man! Yeah! His Uncle Robin had lived on a deserted island for years living off of seals! He could do the same! But with squirrels!



"JAUNE!" She roared again. Jaune gulped and looked over his shoulder. There she was, boosting her jumps with Ember Celica, her eyes burning red as her hair glowed like fire. She was still wearing the apron, too.



Oh Breaker I'm gonna die to my fantasy! His mind wailed. He dove for cover behind a fallen marble pillar, just as she landed nearby with a boom!



"JAUNE ARC! GET OUT HERE!"



There was murder in her voice. Jaune gulped. He reconsidered his options.



He could A: cower behind this marble pillar until she found and killed him, or B: Meet her head on like a man.



Well... If I am to die...



He very slowly stood up. He turned to face the raging Yang. He took a deep breath. And another. Breathing really was underappreciated. You didn't realize how important it was until you were about to stop. He looked Yang right in the eyes.



Knowing that death was imminent and there was nothing he could do was... Strangely freeing. A kind of calm fell over him, even as his brain was filled with frantic thoughts.



All right... You're the tactical genius, His brain said, What do we do?



"I'm not sorry for kissing you," he stated.



WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! His brain shouted. YOU MORON!



THAT WAS YOUR IDEA! Jaune thought back furiously.



Yang's cheeks... Turned bright red.



"I... You...!" She sputtered.



"I am sorry for being too forward," Jaune continued, "I should have asked you to dinner first before I got that familiar with you."



Yang's jaw dropped. Her eyes turned back to lilac and her hair died down.



"I-I uh... Um... It was... Surprising," Yang managed, sounding nervous.



Jaune blinked.



"Wait... Was that your first kiss-?"



"LIKE HELL IT WAS!" Yang denied angrily, eyes glowing red and hair blazing like the sun's corona, "I-I'M VERY EXPERIENCE IN KISSING!"



Jaune flushed. Yang's blush got brighter.



"N-NOT THAT I'M A SLUT!"



"I-I didn't think that!" Jaune insisted. "Y-You look super pretty and wholesome when you're in an apron cooking! Th-That's why I kissed you!"



Yang gaped.



"SUPER pretty and wholesome!" Jaune added. "Like, the most wholesome-!"



"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Yang shouted. She breathed hard, as Jaune stood petrified.



Silence fell for a moment, only the sound of Yang's aura blazing in the air. After a moment, she cleared her throat.



"So... Um... Dinner, right?"



Jaune blinked.



"What?"



"Dinner... You... You said you'd only kiss me... If I got dinner with you... Right?" Yang asked quietly, not quite meeting his eyes. Jaune blinked.



"... Yes?"



"Well... You owe me dinner. You're paying!" Yang growled.



"... Saturday night?" Jaune asked.



"Yeah! That... That works for me," Yang managed. She turned away with a blush. "You'd better dress nice."



"I-I will," Jaune said with a nod. Yang nodded back.



"Good..."



She walked off. Jaune watched her go in silence.



When he could no longer see her, he slumped to the grass and shook his head.



"Wait... What?!"

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Kek. Wonder how pissed Pyrrhas gonna be?

 

[Unknown_One]

Kek. Wonder how pissed Pyrrhas gonna be?

Click to shrink...

Yes… the answer is yes.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Hrm... Well, now there's a bit an issue. If Isabel Arc is an incredible doctor, and Nick Arc is an incredible knight, and they're both monsters in combat, why hasn't Ironwood recruited them?



The rational answer is that Remnant is a very big place and Nick and Isabel are not the only such monsters out there. And they may be leery of working with Ozpin, and thus leery of working with Ironwood. After helping Arjun and Saia retake their throne, they basically retired from Hunting and stayed in Radian to have lots of children, run the hospital and the family farm, and train the local militias.



That said, after the fall of Vale and Beacon, Ironwood would definitely try to recruit them. So you could have interesting stories about them meeting up with our heroes in Atlas or working with Atlasian forces to retake Vale or other such stories.



The extremely silly take on this of course is that Ironwood had a major crush on Isabel but just couldn't spit it out. And was frustrated she fell for some hobo idiot instead of a war hero like him. Alas, Nick's natural rizz won the day with Isabel.



Isabel, much like her son, was utterly oblivious to Ironwood's feelings and just thought he was a friend.



Later on, he still has... A few issues.



Ironwood: "Jaune Arc, right?"



Jaune: "Er, yes sir?"



Ironwood: "... Son of Isabel Arc?"



Jaune: "Yes sir?"



Ironwood: "Is she by any chance... Single?"



Jaune: "Um... No? Why do you ask?"



Ironwood: Very quickly "Just making sure you aren't Neopolitan or Sustrai in disguise, son. We have to be careful given the situation."



Jaune: "Oh! That makes sense."



Ironwood: "Yes. It does."

Alternatively, when talking to Pyrrha about becoming the Fall Maiden, Ironwood would be able to bond with Pyrrha over pining after oblivious Arcs.

Ironwood: "I'm going to give you what I didn't have: An adult willing to lock you in a room with your beloved with soft music, candlelight, and a neon sign saying 'I LOVE YOU, LET'S MAKE BABIES' as big as can be fit into said room."

Pyrrha: "... I'm in."

 

[wearei]

Alternatively, when talking to Pyrrha about becoming the Fall Maiden, Ironwood would be able to bond with Pyrrha over pining after oblivious Arcs.

Ironwood: "I'm going to give you what I didn't have: An adult willing to lock you in a room with your beloved with soft music, candlelight, and a neon sign saying 'I LOVE YOU, LET'S MAKE BABIES' as big as can be fit into said room."

Pyrrha: "... I'm in."

Click to shrink...

Jaune - "I'm so sorry Pyrrha I don't know who is playing this prank on us , I'll get us out somehow"

 

[SharkCultist]

Atlas has a strict "for the love of God no recruiting Arcs" policy.

Charismatic people who value...well good values, and are strong are typically bad for nations ruled by aristocrats and douchebags.

As can be seen in history when the arcs waged war on atlas.

47 times.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune - "I'm so sorry Pyrrha I don't know who is playing this prank on us , I'll get us out somehow"

Click to shrink...

Pyrrha: *holds up the key, locks the door, swallows it, smiles seductively*

Jaune: "... I'm in danger, aren't I?"

Pyrrha: "We both are~."

 

[Bommel]

Idea:
Some time back the idea was brought up; "what if Jaune had a twin sister".

So what if Jaune had one, and she's just as popular with the male population as Jaune is with the female population, but she's also just as thick and clueless about it as Jaune.
She and Jaune might know and be very aware about everyone who's attracted to the other, is flirting with them, etc., but both don't see the same situations applies to themselves as wel.

 

[wearei]

Some time back the idea was brought up; "what if Jaune had a twin sister".

Click to shrink...

Jaunes sister watching Pyrrha moon over him - "Thick headed brother, how do you not get how much she is into you?"

Jaune watching Pyrrha's male twin moon over his Sister- "Thick headed sister, how do you not get how much he is into you?"

 

[Fusion Blaster]

Okay rando idea that I'd love to see someone go with..

Jaune has a bad day. a frustating day
a day that finally someone just pushes his button at the wrong time and Jaune goes off on a profanity filled rant inspired by this song


View: https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0?si=lN5SoAEgdc_6MseI

Jaune: BEHOLD MY FIELD OF FUCKS TO SEE HOW BARREN IT IS! I AM DONE! JAUNE IS OUT! PEACE!

He storms out.
Ren: Soooo I think we owe him an apology after he's got some time to cool.

Ruby: Yes.

Pyrrha: Fuck that was hot.
Eveyone stares at her
Pyrrha: I said that out loud didn't I?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune: "Miss Belladonna, why did you want me to hogtie you again?"

Blake: "Um... No reason?"

Jaune: "I reckon there is a reason to it, Miss Belladonna, though I don't think I should say it."

Blake: "You're very polite."

Jaune: "Yes miss, I am. Still not gonna do it though."

Blake: "Why not? I'm perfectly willing to be a practice target!"

Jaune: "Well, I am not romantically involved with you, which makes engaging in such... behaviors very questionable."

Jaune: "I'm an old-fashioned kinda fella, Miss Belladonna."

Blake: "What if we went on a picnic lunch together? You'd like that, right? It'd be nice and romantic. And then you could tie me up!"

Jaune: "That seems to be movin' a bit fast. I wouldn't do anythin' like that until we were well courtin'. I'd have to meet your parents, make a good impression. Lots of things involved there."

Blake: "So why don't we start training then?"

Jaune: "Trainin' for capturing a person-sized target? I would be entirely willin' to accept the offer, Miss Belladonna, if I didn't know why you really wanted this."

Blake: "And what is that reason, Mister Arc?" Coyly "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean~."

Jaune: "... I'm not sayin' it. But we both know what it is."

Blake: "Oh? However will I know unless you say it~?"

She walks up and rests a hand on his chest

Jaune, blushing like a tomato: "I-Uh, Miss Belladonna, I'd really prefer to not-" gulp "I don't think it'd be appropriate."

Blake: "Mm? How do I know it's appropriate or inappropriate? I can't read your mind~."

She leans in closer

Jaune, having an epiphany: "Wait a second, I'm just playin' into yer hands!"

Blake: "Am I?"

Jaune, steeling himself: "Miss Belladonna, I will not assist you in any kind of sexual gratification unless we're a courtin'!"

Jaune manages to blush even harder.

Blake: Gasp "Sexual gratification? What kind of girl do you think I am, Jaune Arc?!"

Jaune: "A very depraved one. I've seen the kinds of books you read!"

Blake: "You're saying I'm a dirty slut then, Jaune Arc?"

Jaune: "Wha- I, no! That's a horrible thing to say!"

Blake: "A naughty kitty you have to punish? Ooh, punish me, Jaune! Make me a good girl again~!"

Jaune can feel his soul leaving his body.

Later...

Pyrrha: "Jaune? Are you all right?"

Jaune: "No. No I am not."

He stares into the distance.

Pyrrha: "Um... Do you need a hug?"

Jaune: "I had to use my good rope today. I don't think I want it back."

 

[cavalal386]

The extremely silly take on this of course is that Ironwood had a major crush on Isabel but just couldn't spit it out. And was frustrated she fell for some hobo idiot instead of a war hero like him. Alas, Nick's natural rizz won the day with Isabel.

Click to shrink...

I see your "Ironwood has a crush on Isabel" and raise you "Nick's rizz is so powerful that Ironwood has a crush on Nick."

and in other news I have no idea what "rizz" means and by this point I've seen so much depraved things on the internet that I'm to afraid to ask.
god do i feel old.

 

[Eclipse Staro]

I see your "Ironwood has a crush on Isabel" and raise you "Nick's rizz is so powerful that Ironwood has a crush on Nick."

and in other news I have no idea what "rizz" means and by this point I've seen so much depraved things on the internet that I'm to afraid to ask.
god do i feel old.

Click to shrink...

Rizz is a slang term that refers to a person's natural charm, charisma, or attractiveness. It is often used to describe someone who has a strong ability to attract others, whether romantically, sexually, or socially.

 

[IvanR1314]

I see your "Ironwood has a crush on Isabel" and raise you "Nick's rizz is so powerful that Ironwood has a crush on Nick."

and in other news I have no idea what "rizz" means and by this point I've seen so much depraved things on the internet that I'm to afraid to ask.
god do i feel old.

Click to shrink...

Rizz is the slang version of ChaRISma.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Weiss walked up to the stables, a determined scowl on her face. The hot wind whipped her hair up behind her as she beheld both her greatest nemesis (after her father) and her potential greatest ally.

Orleans was standing in the shade, guzzling down water from the trough with great enthusiasm. The Aura-unlocked horse gave her a glance, before resuming her guzzling. She then pulled back, sending up a spray of water that flew up into the air and covered Orleans. It was rather majestic, Weiss thought, and the fact the horse didn't spray her (for once) was encouraging.

"Orleans," Weiss said quietly and tried very hard not to feel silly about talking to a horse, "I do care for Jaune very much."

Orleans snorted. Weiss shook her head.

"I mean it. He... Means a lot to me," she said. "But that doesn't mean we have to be enemies, right? We both want Jaune to be happy, don't we?"

Orleans looked considerate... For a horse. She neighed in agreement. Weiss smiled and pulled out the package she'd been hiding behind her back: A stack of magazines.

"Now," Weiss said, holding up the pages, "You see all these stallions? Racehorses. I could get any one of them to stud for you."

Orleans examined the magazine dutifully. She looked rather skeptical and snorted.

"What? These are the finest stallions in the world!" Weiss insisted. Orleans snorted again and turned her nose up. Weiss sighed.

Well, that was expected, she thought to herself. Fortunately, she was prepared.

"I see. You're like me, then. You prefer someone more down to Remnant. More of a blue-collar horse than some stuffy elitist," she said. Orleans scowled as well as a horse could and nodded. "Very well."

Weiss swapped the racing horse magazine for one about draft horses. She opened it up to page 12.

"See? This is Luscombe Nodram. The tallest Shire breed horse in the world. Now he's a prize winner, but he's a hard-working farm horse at heart," Weiss said with a smile, "See him? He doesn't look stuck up at all, despite his fame."

Orleans snorted again but did seem much more interested. Weiss smiled.

"You two would make beautiful foals," she said encouragingly, "And you know Jaune would love them. He loves baby animals, and so do I!"

Orleans leaned in a bit closer and examined the picture carefully.

"I will throw in these muffins my butler made," Weiss added, holding out a basket of the warm, delicious pastries Klein had sent her special delivery.

Orleans sniffed the muffins, then chomped down on them. She chewed them thoughtfully, paper and all.

She then nickered. Weiss beamed.

"So... You help me with love, and I'll help you with love. Sound good?"

Orleans huffed and again looked haughty as she considered it. She then neighed and nodded. Weiss nodded back, a smile growing on her face.

"Oh of course Jaune would always be first in your heart. Isn't that always the way?" She reached out tentatively. Orleans watched her intensely for a few moments... Before she relaxed. Weiss patted her on the back of her neck with a happy smile.

"Ahem."

Weiss froze and looked over her shoulder. Pyrrha stood there with a terrifying smile that did not marr her usually pleasant features in the slightest.

"Um... Hello Pyrrha," Weiss said, her smile becoming nervous.

"You know Orleans," Pyrrha said conversationally as she walked up next to Weiss, "The Hellenic citiy-states became very good at horse rearing."

She held up her Scroll and presented an image of a magnificent black stallion. Orleans' eyes were glued to the screen instantly. Pyrrha then pulled out a vial and popped the top.

"His musk, for your perusal," Pyrrha said, still smiling in a scary way. Orleans sniffed, and nickered happily.

"There, see? You help me, you'll get him," Pyrrha said, "We're both happy."

She held out an open box filled with dried fruit.

"I also brought you a sample of fruits my mother tells me is raised on a farm we own," Pyrrha said.

Orleans neighed happily and chowed down as Weiss gasped at her former idol.

"You're trying to bribe Orleans?! But Pyrrha, you're-"

"I'm not as good at this field of battle as others," Pyrrha said firmly, "But I am a fast learner... And I aim to win."

There was a pause. Pyrrha allowed herself a smirk.

"Besides... Orleans is clearly a horse of taste. She wouldn't go for some celebrity horse like an over-eager fangirl. Would you, Orleans?"

Orleans nickered again. Weiss's eyes narrowed.

"I see," she stated, "So be it."

The two young women glared at each other. Orleans went back to drinking water, happily sniffing the musk.

- - -

Yang walked up to the stable, her stride confident. Orleans was again drinking deeply of the water trough.

"Listen Orleans," Yang stated, "I don't do this for a lot of people. Or horses."

Orleans looked up skeptically. Yang held up a bucket of warm, golden oats. The horse nickered happily as she sniffed it.

"Yup. Honey and brown sugar baked. Highest-grade cut oats," Yang said with a smile. Orleans leaned forward, but Yang pulled the bucket back.

"But... Quid pro quo," she stated firmly. Orleans snorted. Yang nodded.

"Come on. You want to be pandered to?"

Orleans huffed.

"Well, I suppose we all like to be pandered to a little from time to time. But not all the time."

Orleans glared at her. Yang sighed.

"Okay look. I really like Jaune and I don't want to fight you. All right? So yeah, have this bribe... And don't screw things up for me. Or, horse or no horse, I'll kick your ass!"

Orleans snorted... But then nodded. A bit of respect was in her eyes. Yang smirked.

"There you go."

She held out the bucket. Orleans bowed down and began to eat happily.

- - -

"... And he took shop class! Shop class is so amazing! He's so cool! He helps me at the forge and even fixed up the bunk beds! So could you please help me out, Orleans? It would be great of you!"

Orleans looked at Ruby incredulously. Ruby beamed and held out a cookie.

"Aw, you look so cute: Have a cookie!"

Orleans took the cookie happily. She then shrugged and whinnied happily.

"Aw! Thanks Orleans!" Ruby hugged her happily. "You're so sweet!"

- - -

Nora stole into the stable, Ren keeping pace a few steps behind her. Nora beamed and held up a bag of sugar cubes.

Orleans nickered happily, throwing her head back with a dramatic flourish.

"This is the good stuff, Orleans! You know I always get the best to share!" Nora said cheerfully.

Orleans considered this truth, and then nodded.

"Open wide!" Nora cried. She tossed the sugar cube, and Orleans chomped it out of the air. "Good on you, Orleans!"

Ren sighed.

"Why am I here?"

"You're hot when you're watching me feed Orleans sugar cubes," Nora chirped, tossing Orleans another sugar cube.

"You say I'm hot when I'm not watching you feed Orleans sugar cubes," Ren deadpanned.

"Am I wrong?"

Ren was silent, and then a bit smug.

"No."

- - -

"Who likes carrots?" Velvet asked cheerfully, holding up a bushel of orange roots. Orleans happily chewed on the treat as the rabbit Faunus girl brushed her mane.

"So, um, I was thinking maybe... Maybe you could put in a good word for me?" Velvet asked eagerly. "Maybe... Tell him I like him?"

Orleans stared at her as she chewed. Velvet sighed.

"You're right... I have to do it myself. Another carrot?"

- - -

Jaune walked up to Orleans. He reached out and patted her on the side of her neck affectionately.

"Howdy Orleans. How you doing? Not too hot, are you?"

Orleans shook her head.

"Are you sure? I can get the rectal thermometer-"

Orleans bit him.

"YEOW! Geez, fine, sorry!" Jaune grunted. Orleans neighed, then nuzzled him affectionately. Jaune sighed and patted her on the back of her neck.

"You're lucky I can't stay angry at you. For too long, anyway."

He frowned and looked back at her haunches.

"We're going for a ride as soon as it gets cooler: You're starting to get fat."

She bit him again.

"OW!"

- - -

 

[IvanR1314]

holy crap, these people are really Thirsty for Cowboy Jaune(with exclusion to ReNora)

 

[shinighoul6]

Why can I see Orleans just nodding along with what they're saying just to get the free food?

She's already at the front of the race, so I can just see her being all, "Oh yeah, I'll help you. Hmm, that stallion looks very fetching. Etc." All just for the free food she's getting without her rider paying out of pocket. It's a win-win for her!

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Why can I see Orleans just nodding along with what they're saying just to get the free food?

She's already at the front of the race, so I can just see her being all, "Oh yeah, I'll help you. Hmm, that stallion looks very fetching. Etc." All just for the free food she's getting without her rider paying out of pocket. It's a win-win for her!

Click to shrink...

That is basically what she does. She is the finest and greatest horse in the world, after all. All should kotow to her and give her treats!

 

[RustedSands]

Jaune: so you see ruby i need your help building a better lock on the feed I have no idea how shes doing it but orleans mist be sneaking extra food
*Girls looking nervous*
Orleans: neiiigh (translation; all according to keikakku [note: keikakku means plan] )

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Honestly, Jaune being good at "shop" related things should be canon. He grew up on a farm after all. He should know basic woodworking, maybe some basic metal working basic engine repairs, tool use, power tool use, some plumbing, husbandry and agriculture, fishing, hunting, and a number of other things. He's not an expert in any of these things, mind you, but he would know how to work with his hands. I don't care how technologically advanced your farm is, some things just do not change.

This naturally means that A: Ruby is gonna rope him into all of her engineering projects, B: Yang is gonna grab him to work on her bike with her, and C: Other people who do not have various skills of this nature due to training to become Hunters most of their lives will be bugging him for help.

A Handy Man Jaune story might be a lot of fun.

 

[IvanR1314]

Honestly, Jaune being good at "shop" related things should be canon. He grew up on a farm after all. He should know basic woodworking, maybe some basic metal working basic engine repairs, tool use, power tool use, some plumbing, husbandry and agriculture, fishing, hunting, and a number of other things. He's not an expert in any of these things, mind you, but he would know how to work with his hands. I don't care how technologically advanced your farm is, some things just do not change.

This naturally means that A: Ruby is gonna rope him into all of her engineering projects, B: Yang is gonna grab him to work on her bike with her, and C: Other people who do not have various skills of this nature due to training to become Hunters most of their lives will be bugging him for help.

A Handy Man Jaune story might be a lot of fun.

Click to shrink...

I am surprised that the Handy Man Jaune wasn't a part of his character already. Then again, exploring that in Fanworks as Dedicated Handy Man Jaune collections as well as part of Normal Jaune's skills would be great.

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

There was a pause. Pyrrha allowed herself a smirk.

"Besides... Orleans is clearly a horse of taste. She wouldn't go for some celebrity horse like an over-eager fangirl. Would you, Orleans?"

Orleans nickered again. Weiss's eyes narrowed.

"I see," she stated, "So be it."

Click to shrink...

Its a good thing Orleans is used to loud noises, because shots were just fired...

A Handy Man Jaune story might be a lot of fun.

Click to shrink...

Jaune - "Everyone else is gone from the dorm, huh? The plumbing problem in here must really be something else if Ruby couldn't fix it, are you sure that this isn't something to call the school maintenance department for, Yang?"

Yang - "None of them had the right tool that I wanted."

Jaune - "I'm in danger, aren't I?"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune Arc had more than a few harrowing memories in his brain. Becoming a cowhand for the Duke Ranch was not for the fainthearted, given they had to move thousands of cattle through bandit and Grimm infested lands. He'd seen men and women die in horrible ways. He'd killed men. Maybe one woman, he wasn't too sure about one bandit's gender.

Probably the scariest moment in his young life was going with his dad and Duke into a village of locals Indendepents called the Blue Sioux. They'd lived and survived on their own in the Valean wilderness for hundreds of years, and killed anyone who intruded on their land unless you could negotiate with and appease them.

They walked into that heavily reinforced village. Spikes covered in preserved Grimm Masks and human skulls decorated the concrete-reinforced walls. Machine gun nests rested on the top of the wall, their shiny barrels pointing out. All the Blue Sioux were dressed in leather and scrap metal armor with blue face paint and heavy weapons pointed at them. Every one of them wore a scowl on their pale faces.

They entered a concrete longhouse, filled with furs and tapestries. There was a throne that appeared to be a very well-upholstered Recliner. There was some plastic wrapping still on the sides. A few TVs hung from the walls, playing informercials.

They walked up to their chief, an old man with long white hair wearing a white robe and a crown of aluminum over a red and yellow beanie. He seemed much more relaxed than his tribemembers. Mister Duke was up in front, while Nick and Jaune flanked him. The chief rose.

"Hello Rooster!" He greeted him.

"Hello Joseph, King," Mister Duke had said, "We again seek to cross your lands with our cattle." He looked around. "The courtesy of your hall seems a bit lessened of late, Joseph, King."

Joseph shook his head and shrugged.

"Sorry. Things have been tense lately. Your Rangers shot at us a few times. The Branwen Tribe has struck too." Joseph frowned and looked around at his people, before looking back to Duke. "They want war."

"War is in no one's business, Joseph, King," Duke replied evenly, as calm as an Atlasian glacier despite all the guns pointed at him. His father was equally unperturbed, even smiling, though Jaune could tell there was a tension in his sword arm. Jaune himself was just trying really hard not to freak out with all the guns pointed at him.

Joseph, King nodded.

"True, true. The younger braves want to start raiding like the Bandits. Take what we want. We did that long ago. Didn't work out well for us." He sighed. "I have to take a heavy tithe for you to pass."

"What's the number, Joseph, King?" Duke gritted out. Joseph looked Mister Duke right in the eyes.

"Half your herd."

Jaune grimaced in disbelief. Half? He was going to shout in protest: They couldn't afford half the herd!

He felt his father's hand on his forearm. He glanced at him. Nick Arc shook his head, and Jaune tried to calm down.

Mister Duke didn't even twitch. His eyes did get a bit more dangerous though.

"Joseph, King, we've been friends a long time. When I was a Ranger, I treated you and your people with respect."

"That is true, Duke, you did," Joseph replied.

"If some low down Atlasian prospector demanded half your assets or he'd kill you, what would your response be?" Duke asked, his voice level but filled with warning. Joseph nodded slowly.

"I'd kill him right back and display his skinned body as a warning."

"Same goes for me," Duke growled. "Now I'll trade with your people fair and square, just like always. You'll get fresh cattle for your herd and a few other items you've been needing. All at fair prices. But if you insist upon trying to cheat a friend because of politics, well... Joseph, King? It will end badly for you."

"HA!" One of the braves shouted in mockery, "You're an old man with a dumb swordsman and a boy! We would kill you in an instant!"

Duke just slowly turned and stared him down. Jaune had no idea what Mister Duke's Semblance was, but being able to fill people with mortal terror might have been part of it since the guy shrank back in fear.

His father was also unperturbed, though there was a small smirk on his face.

"Joseph, King," Duke stated wearily, "We're too old for young man's foolishness. So we'll trade with you fairly, and then we'll leave."

Joseph King stared at Duke. Duke stared back. The silence stretched on for a time. Jaune's heart beat like a drum in his ears. All the braves around them had their weapons ready. His father's hand rested over his sword. Jaune felt the urge to go for his gun, but a look from his father stopped him cold.

At long last, Joseph, King held up his hand. The braves lowered their guns, though they all looked unhappy.

"We trade fairly, old friend."

The tension evaporated. The trade deal went well, though plenty of the braves kept their weapons close by. Which was fine by Jaune, they all did too.

The dread and terror of that moment seemed almost insignificant as he sat in the RWBY/JNPR common room, strumming his guitar listlessly.

Ruby popped up onto the couch next to him with a concerned look on her face.

"Hey Jaune? You okay?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, sure as shootin'," Jaune said with a smile. Pyrrha and Weiss were across from him, doing some homework. Yang was back in her apron again, cleaning some dishes with Nora's help. Ren was meditating on a nearby pillow. Blake was flipping through one of her books as she laid out on another couch.

"Cardin's not giving you any more trouble, is he?" Pyrrha asked gently. Jaune shook his head, strumming out more random tunes.

"Oh, no. We uh... We have an understanding of sorts," he said. "Hmmhmm... Hmmm... How'd it go...?"

Nora popped up on Jaune's other side with a grin.

"You took a while in the locker room! You usually take a lot less time! How much time does he take, Ruby?"

"After combat class? Fifteen point two minutes on average," Ruby chirped.

Much staring. Ruby blushed and found her boots very interesting all of a sudden.

"I-I was bored so I did the calculations...? You wanna know how long you spend in the locker room, Weiss?"

"No," Weiss stated flatly.

"Oh, well..." Jaune coughed. "I had to talk to Cardin."

"He doesn't want to join our movie night tomorrow, right?" Nora asked with a pout.

"Um, no," Jaune managed. Nora beamed.

"Also, you haven't chosen the movie! What's it gonna be, Jaune-Jaune? Ooh! Another war movie?"

"Uh..."

Nora's eager smile filled his vision. Ruby squeezed in and shook her head.

"No no no! We're gonna see GunGun Mecha Prime: The Return! The mechanical design on the giant robots is superb! It's pure gear porn~!"

"Ruby!" Yang growled. "Don't say 'porn'!"

"So should I just say 'Blake's reading material'?" Ruby deadpanned. Blake scowled. Yang hummed.

"No, that would take too long."

"Hey!" Blake protested quietly.

"So! What are we watching?" Nora asked again, very eagerly.

Jaune sweated. He felt Blake's curious eyes upon him.

Damn her Faunus senses, she can tell I'm nervous, he thought to himself. Crap crap crap...

He could see it in his mind's eye. His admission about Velvet, and all the ladies in his life donning war paint and stringing him up without his skin!

Should he lie? He was no good at lying! He could bluff but that wasn't exactly the same as lying!

Could he go to the Frozen Hell for bluffing? Did the White Witch own his soul now that he played cards?!

"Jaune? Are you all right?" Weiss inquired gently. "You're extremely off tune."

"O-Oh, uh, sorry Weiss," Jaune apologized. Everyone'e eyes were on him, Nora and Ruby's especially. He grimaced.

Okay... Come on... Honesty is the best policy... Just... Stay cool. Be like Mister Duke, and be cool, calm, and collected.

"Well... You'll have to choose the movie for movie night, since I have another engagement," he said, as calmly as possible. Pyrrha smiled.

"Oh? What kind of engagement?"

WHY DID I SAY ENGAGEMENT?! Jaune thought frantically. THAT IS AMONG THE WORST WORDS I COULD HAVE USED! MA WOULD BE ASHAMED OF MY LIMITED VOCABULARY!

Right. What did Dad always say? Keep it simple, stupid. Stupid smart folks loved to make things complicated, when smarter dumb folks kept it simple.

"Miss Velvet Scarlatina invited me to a friendly dinner to thank me for standing up to Cardin for her," Jaune said, slowly and carefully.

Much staring. Nora blinked and laughed.

"Oh, that's all? I thought it was serious! Friend dinner, yay!"

The tension seemed broken. Jaune relaxed a bit as his friends did too. Ruby slid back next to him and grinned.

"Oh! That's all? Neat! So, when are we going?"

The tension was back. Jaune resisted the urge to cough.

"It's just me and her. To some place called Minerva's."

Silence fell again. Only broken when Weiss dropped a stylus on the coffee table.

"She got reservations to one of the most exclusive and romantic restaurants in Vale?" She asked, slowly and dangerously. Pyrrha's smile became very brittle, as Yang's smile grew angry.

"I uh... Through her friend, Miss Adel," Jaune went on, "It's just a friendly dinner. I'll be a little late for the movie night, but I will be there."

The silence resumed. Nora again beamed and laughed.

"Oh! Okay!" She then frowned. "Wait... You don't think she's gonna steal your kidneys, do you?"

"Why would she want my kidneys?" Jaune asked, grateful for the distraction. He was gonna buy Nora that cowgirl hat she had been desperate for. As many sparkles as she wanted.

Pyrrha relaxed a little. Ruby's frown remained, but was less tense. Yang laughed and walked up to him. She bent over and winked.

"Well, if you wanted someone with a love of carrots, I would happily oblige, cowboy. I'd even let you use the stick on me~."

Jaune turned bright red.

Weiss sputtered.

"Don't you dare you slut! Stop acting like that-Jaune! Are you absolutely certain you want to go? I-I mean, if you wanted to go to Minerva's, I could have gotten us a table! Two tables!"

"It's not like that," Jaune sighed, doing his best to not look directly into Yang's cleavage. "She's just taking me out as thanks. It's nothing special. I'll be back in time for movie night."

"Oh... Y-You will?" Ruby asked with a smile. Jaune smiled back and patted her on the head.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

"See? He wouldn't miss it," Pyrrha said with a smile, "It's good that Miss Scarlatina is thanking Jaune."

"Why is she just thanking him? We did work too!" Nora pouted.

"I'll ask her about that," Jaune said carefully. He plucked the strings of his guitar nervously, then frowned. No wonder he hadn't been able to relax.

"Dang it. I gotta tune her up. Be right back."

He got up and left for his dormroom. He and Ren shared a manly glance. Yup, things could have gone worse.

Getting skinned and beheaded worse. No need for his friends to know about the kiss on his cheek. He was sure Miss Scarlatina was just overcome with emotion.

Everything would be fine.

- - -

Jaune shut the door behind him. All eyes turned to Weiss.

"The most romantic restaurant? It really is that, Weiss?" Ruby asked, looking worried.

"Yes," Weiss seethed, "That little Faunus slut!"

She coughed and looked over at Blake.

"Sorry Blake-"

"Oh no, rabbit Faunus are all the same," Blake stated calmly, turning another page in her book, "Total man stealing sluts. They can't wait to get knocked up and pump out a dozen babies to claim any attractive man who isn't theirs. That's why it took so long for Menagerie to give them the vote."

"They do?!" Pyrrha gasped in horror.

"We're not letting that whore take our... Team Leader," Yang growled, slamming a fist into her palm.

"Absolutely!" Weiss insisted.

"M-Maybe she's not stealing Jaune away?" Ruby suggested.

"She totally is!" Weiss insisted. "Did you see the way she looked at him? Like a ravenous she-wolf!"

Ren looked over at Nora. Nora shrugged with a smile.

"I see this as a win. Fearless Leader is getting a free meal and I get to choose the movie for movie night!"

"We didn't agree to that!" Ruby shot back.

- - -

 

[mgl1206]

Honestly, Jaune being good at "shop" related things should be canon. He grew up on a farm after all. He should know basic woodworking, maybe some basic metal working basic engine repairs, tool use, power tool use, some plumbing, husbandry and agriculture, fishing, hunting, and a number of other things. He's not an expert in any of these things, mind you, but he would know how to work with his hands. I don't care how technologically advanced your farm is, some things just do not change.

This naturally means that A: Ruby is gonna rope him into all of her engineering projects, B: Yang is gonna grab him to work on her bike with her, and C: Other people who do not have various skills of this nature due to training to become Hunters most of their lives will be bugging him for help.

A Handy Man Jaune story might be a lot of fun.

Click to shrink...

So in fanon that may as well be canon, Jaune can cook, clean, dance, probably apply makeup, is a conflict resolution specialist (kinda necessary with 7 sisters and they all have periods), probably knows how to sew, can give massages, probably a few other things I missed and is also a carpenter now?

The Arc family really did not let up on him being a house husband huh.

Edit: forgot to add him being great with kids. Honestly? No wonder MILFs love him

 

[AndrewJTalon]

So in fanon that may as well be canon, Jaune can cook, clean, dance, probably apply makeup, is a conflict resolution specialist (kinda necessary with 7 sisters and they all have periods), probably knows how to sew, can give massages, probably a few other things I missed and is also a carpenter now?

The Arc family really did not let up on him being a house husband huh.

Click to shrink...

He could have become a doctor, too. He passed the entrance exams to medical school before he headed to Beacon.

He's prime husband material. If it got out, Team RWBY and JNPR might have to deal with a LOT more competition.

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

"Oh no, rabbit Faunus are all the same," Blake stated calmly, turning another page in her book, "Total man stealing sluts. They can't wait to get knocked up and pump out a dozen babies to claim any attractive man who isn't theirs. That's why it took so long for Menagerie to give them the vote."

"They do?!" Pyrrha gasped in horror.

"We're not letting that whore take our... Team Leader," Yang growled, slamming a fist into her palm.

"Absolutely!" Weiss insisted.

"M-Maybe she's not stealing Jaune away?" Ruby suggested.

Click to shrink...

Given how no one reacts to this, Blake must be like this all the time, and everyone is just used to it.

Time for Velvet's totally platonic dinner out!

 

[shinighoul6]

Given how no one reacts to this, Blake must be like this all the time, and everyone is just used to it.

Click to shrink...

Blake is racist and has a god/superiority complex.
Like all cats.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake is scowling at Cardin and Velvet having a happy lunch out on the quad. Team RWBY is nearby at a picnic table, relaxing.

Yang: "Blake? You still got a bug up your butt over those two?"

Blake: "Of course I do! Cardin obviously bullied her into being his girlfriend!"

Ruby: "They look happy to me."

Blake: "I'm much more worldly and experienced, Ruby. Clearly, Cardin psychologically broke her into dating him! And now he'll break her into his dutiful, obedient bunny bride! Pumping out dozens of children, his own personal brood bunny! He'll chain her to the oven and make her walk around in nothing but an apron!"

Yang: *covering Ruby's ears* "Would you PLEASE stop that shit around Ruby?!"

Ruby: haunted look "I can read lips, Yang, it's too late."

Yang: "SERIOUSLY?!"

Weiss: "Look, I'm no fan of Cardin Winchester, but they seem perfectly happy. He hasn't done anything racist to her. Look! He's even stroking her ears affectionately."

Yang: "Maybe Cardin's just no longer a jerk, have you ever considered that?"

Blake: "HA! Racist humans never change their minds about Faunus! Besides, rabbit Faunus are especially prone to being abused like this!"

Weiss: "What? How so?"

Blake: "They're all weak, demure herbivores! They bend to the slightest pressure and run off! And they can't help their breeding instincts to just give in to any strong male who dominates them! Most single Faunus mothers are rabbit Faunus and they betray their own kind with humans! That's why we feline faunus run things! We're not so easily overpowered like those dumb cottontails!"

Hex Skvader, an upperclassman rabbit Faunus glares as he was walking nearby.

Hex: "Hey! That is OUR word! You can't use it!"

Blake: "I can use it all I want! Cottontail!"

Hex: "Alley Cat!"

Blake: "Bunny Buns!"

Hex: gasp! "That is a slur, Mittens!"

Blake: "THAT'S AN EVEN WORSE SLUR!"

Ruby: "But... I like mittens."

Yang grabs Ruby's hand and pulls her away: "Okay Ruby, I think we'll let them sort this out themselves. Come on Weiss."

Weiss: "But this is hilarious!"

Yang: "I said come on!"

 

[wearei]

Blake: "I'm much more worldly and experienced, Ruby. Clearly, Cardin psychologically broke her into dating him! And now he'll break her into his dutiful, obedient bunny bride! Pumping out dozens of children, his own personal brood bunny! He'll chain her to the oven and make her walk around in nothing but an apron!"

Click to shrink...

Blake - "Human males are dangerous. They are constantly in Rut year round and can have sex multiple times a day. Their scent is constantly screaming out how they want to catch and violate some. They even have sex for more than a minute at a time. They are depraved sex fiends."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune gets up in the middle of the night to get some water from the common room. He enters it... Turns on the light... Walks past Blake to the sink.

Jaune: "Hey Blake."

Blake: "EEP!"

Jaune turns back. Blake has her ears loose and is... Playing with a ball of yarn.

Jaune: "... Oh. So that's where that went."

Blake: "Jaune... You've discovered my secret! You evil, wicked human!"

Jaune: "That... You're a Cat Faunus? Blake, we've known that for months now. I'm pretty sure everyone knows now. Velvet passed you an ear brush at lunch a few days back-"

Blake: "Which means, to keep my secret, I'll have to do any depraved thing you human males can think of to do with feline Faunus! We're the most desirable kind of Faunus, after all! Way better than rabbit Faunus!"

Jaune: "Ummm..."

Blake: "What will you do to me first?! Put a collar on me? Make me 'nyah'? Make me go on a leash and be your obedient pet?!"

Jaune: "You don't put leashes on cats. I know. There are many cats on my farm. None of them took a leash."

Blake: "Oh just get it over with and make me into your slave, you depraved human!"

Jaune: sips his water... And heads back to his dorm

Blake: "Wha... Jaune? JAUNE!"

Jaune: "Goodnight, Blake."

Blake: "What are you, gay?!"

Jaune: "No, I'm just very, very tired."

- - -

Jaune also being the One Sane Man at Beacon is a fun plot. He was a civilian and everyone else has been in training for most of their lives to fight soulless monsters for a living. Him being the most exasperated at everyone else's drama and just trying to get by could be very funny.