[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Abramus5250]

Turns out Jaune is shipped by RWBY with other members of RWBY. Chaos ensues as each person tries to get their 'pick' together with Jaune at the same time. Meanwhile Ren and Nora ship Jaune with Pyrrha, who doesn't know what shipping means.

Or the teachers at Beacon, bored out of their minds from dealing with powerful and hormonal teenagers, engage in their own shipping. Problems arise when they too begin to subtly compete to push their picks together.

 

[Unknown_One]

Turns out Jaune is shipped by RWBY with other members of RWBY. Chaos ensues as each person tries to get their 'pick' together with Jaune at the same time. Meanwhile Ren and Nora ship Jaune with Pyrrha, who doesn't know what shipping means.

Or the teachers at Beacon, bored out of their minds from dealing with powerful and hormonal teenagers, engage in their own shipping. Problems arise when they too begin to subtly compete to push their picks together.

Click to shrink...

So, then who decides to push who with Jaune?

For me:

Ruby? Likely letting Jaune's affection for Weiss dictate.
Yang? Guide him to Ruby.
Weiss? Guide him to Blake.
Blake? Guide him to Yang.

Of the faculty?

Ozpin? Harem ending
Glynda? Ruby or Yang
Port? Break Tai's record (harem)
Oobleck: Doesn't play that game, but is just there.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

I have put up a poll on my Patreon for my next story. Feel free to visit via the link below to vote.

https://www.patreon.com/c/AndrewJTalon

 

[AndrewJTalon]

So, then who decides to push who with Jaune?

For me:

Ruby? Likely letting Jaune's affection for Weiss dictate.
Yang? Guide him to Ruby.
Weiss? Guide him to Blake.
Blake? Guide him to Yang.

Of the faculty?

Ozpin? Harem ending
Glynda? Ruby or Yang
Port? Break Tai's record (harem)
Oobleck: Doesn't play that game, but is just there.

Click to shrink...

Personally I think Ruby might ship Yang with Jaune so her bestie would become her brother in law. Weiss would push Jaune at Blake to keep her from bothering her. Yang would push Jaune at Ruby to make Ruby happy. And Blake might push Jaune at Weiss to make Weiss suffer.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune sighed heavily. He winced as he rolled his shoulders and looked around his office. He had been left alone to do some paperwork, which he supposed was nice. On the other hand, he had to do paperwork.



There was a knock at the door.



"Come in!" He called. The doors opened, and Yang strode in with a smile.



"Heyah, Ladykiller! Saw your speech today," she said. She sat down in a chair. "Though it was nice. Very short."



Jaune smiled back at her.



"Thanks. It's like everyone forgets the inaugural speeches of Councilmembers used to be like ten to twenty minutes," he chuckled. Yang shook her head.



"You knew that history but not the Faunus Revolution?"



"Er, well," Jaune rubbed the back of his head, "I always paid more attention to Nana Arturia's stories because they were a lot more exciting." He beamed. "What can I do for you?"



"I'm on your security detail for tonight!" Yang said cheerfully. "Pyrrha needed to do a photoshoot, Weiss is meeting her sis, Blake is meeting her parents, Ruby got detention with Oobleck, and Ren and Nora are..." She shrugged. "Got me."



"They do their own thing on the weekends," Jaune confirmed. He smiled warmly. "Thanks. I appreciate it. You always cheer me up."



"Well, someone's gotta keep you from getting too full of yourself," Yang winked, "Speaking of, you eaten dinner yet?"



"I was about to order something," Jaune said, turning back to his papers. "I gotta finish up this report to the press tomorrow-"



"Bah," Yang scoffed, putting a hand over his, "Come on. You gotta get out of here."



Jaune looked up in some surprise.



"You're acting... Well... I mean, friendly," Jaune said. Yang shrugged.



"Well... I did realize you're actually pretty cool, once you get past the awkward nerdy parts," she said with a smile. "And you're Ruby's best friend, and she'd have my head if I didn't make sure you were taking care of yourself."



Jaune smiled. He squeezed her hand back. Yang leaned forward.



"Besides, living a cushy life as a Councilman's Wife might be nice~," Yang teased. Jaune flushed.



"Y-Yang!"



"Aw, come on," Yang cooed, leaning forward with a sexy wink, "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it~. At least once? Unless you're into slim girls like Weisscream."



Jaune flushed.



"I mean... If I'm being honest? I thought you were out of my league," Jaune admitted. Yang blinked.



"Eh? But-But you went for Weiss?"



Jaune shrugged.



"I mean... That was kind of a pride thing, though I do think she's incredible. But you? You just... I love your smile, your energy, your eyes. You light up the room. If you rejected me... I dunno. It would hurt more." He smiled. "Plus, I mean, I didn't want Ruby to think I was her friend just to get your attention."



Yang flushed. She slowly nodded.



"I, yeah... Well..." She cleared her throat. "You really gotta get some air if you're getting all mushy like this, Stud. Come on! We should hit a diner, get some real food."



Jaune frowned.



"I dunno..."



"Come on," Yang winked, "I promise, I'll be your cute little bodyguard. I'll protect you. In and out of bed, if you'd like~."



"Yang," Jaune groaned, bright red. She giggled, and pulled him up to his feet. He sighed, but nodded as they headed out.



"All right. There's a diner close by. Let's hit it up, quickly."



"Relax, Councilman," Yang chuckled, "What could possibly go wrong?"



- - -

Click to shrink...

They came to a small diner in the historical Old Town part of Vale, near the massive towers of the government center. It was called "Just Right", and was run by a formidable looking bear Faunus woman in a blue dress and white apron. She stood at the entrance to the cozy, clean diner, chewing on a wooden spoon as she looked Yang and Jaune up and down.



"Hey Ma!" Yang greeted her with a happy smile. Jaune himself had pulled on some sunglasses and a hat to try and disguise himself, but still smiled politely.



Ma looked him up and down, chewing on her spoon. She nodded in approval.



"Welcome, ya little Spitfire. Usual table is open."



"Thanks!" Yang grinned and dragged Jaune off to a booth far from the windows, and near the jukebox. Yang had Jaune slide in first, before she slid in across from him. Ma was along shortly, setting down some menus, glasses of water, and a candle, which she lit.



"Knew you'd find a good man someday," Ma stated. Jaune coughed and shook his head.



"Ah, no, I mean, we're not-!"



"Thanks!" Yang said cheerfully, grabbing Jaune's hand and squeezing it hard. He got the message and shut up, smiling with a slight wince at Ma. Ma chuckled.



"Keep your wits about you. She's gonna be rough. Gotta take her in hand," Ma stated. Jaune slowly nodded.



"I-I'll keep that in mind," he mumbled, as Ma headed off. Yang loosened her grip on Jaune a bit, but didn't let go. Jaune sighed and scowled at her.



"Seriously?"



"Hey, it keeps her from asking too many questions," Yang said. She pouted. "Unless you don't like the idea of me being your girlfriend?"



"No! I mean, that's not it!" Jaune insisted quickly. "I just... A lot's happened and I'm trying to get a grip on things, ya know?"



Yang shook her head.



"You literally figured out how to use your Aura an hour after getting it unlocked," she said, "How much time do you need, anyway?"



"I just... How does that relate to this?" Jaune asked. Yang giggled.



"I just like seeing you flustered. You're kind of cute that way," she winked, "And besides, it keeps you from getting too big a head. You wouldn't want to turn out like Councillor Valkoran and become so divorced from reality you destroy your empire, right?"



"No, but..." Jaune blinked rapidly and stared at her. "Wait... That's from Space Quest 5!"



Yang flushed and glanced to the side.



"Er... Ya know, Ruby was all into that stuff..."



Jaune smirked a little.



"Really? So you don't think the fifth season was a rushed add on?"



"N-No! I mean, there was a fifth season?" Yang giggled, trying to play dumb. Jaune smiled warmly. He squeezed her hand back.



"You don't have to put up any fronts with me, you know," Jaune said kindly, "Take it from me: It sucks. I-I mean, I know you're not like, fake or anything. I like that about you. But well... You can be totally honest with me."



Yang stared at him for a long moment. She brushed some hair from her shoulder.



"Well... As long as you, I dunno, keep it a state secret."



"If I have to," Jaune said with a nod and good natured rolling of his eyes. Yang shook her head.



"Still... How did you even hear about that show? You live out in the sticks!"



"My mom's hospital had a direct link to the CCT repeater tower," Jaune explained, "So I hung out there a lot to watch stuff."



"Your mom owns a hospital?" Yang asked in disbelief. Jaune nodded.



"Yeah. She worked as a Huntress combat medic to pay for medical school, and turned the old castle in our town into a hospital. I mean, we still live on a farm and all but we did help out there too..."



"Huh," Yang said, "My dad just got a free CCT antenna direct thanks to my uncle Qrow. So we saw everything for free. Well, when the weather was cooperating. You ever watch Professor Paradox?"



Jaune grinned.



"Yup. My Nana is a huge fan of it, since she's from Albion. Well until the last few series."



Yang rolled her eyes.



"Ugh, yeah. Freaking Thirteenth Professor is so lame..."



They chatted about many nerdy things. Then they got into their childhoods... And after a while, they just talked. Nobody forced anything, nobody was pretending. After having to deal with politicians and reporters for the last few weeks? It was a balm for Jaune's soul. And he found himself studying her face, and her eyes.



"Get out! GET OUT!"



Which was interrupted when there was a loud disturbance out front. Ma was standing at the doorway, holding a fist up and shaking it, as a couple of White Fang goons in masks and leathers stood in the diner door.



"I told you, you punks can't come in!" Ma growled. The lead White Fang tough laughed in her face.



"You can't hold us all off, you old sow," he sneered, "You're either gonna pay up for us not wrecking your place, or we're gonna burn it to the ground! Especially since you've been letting humans in!"



"Anyone who can pay and show respect is welcome!" Ma snarled. "You don't get to-ACK!"



The leader back handed her and sent her to the floor. Jaune and Yang immediately stood up, meal forgotten. The White Fang punks laughed.



"Oh, what's this? Some human bimbo and her boy toy are gonna try to mess with-?"



They flared their Auras. The punks, save for the leader, all gasped or winced. Yang punched her open palm as Jaune clenched his fists.



"You wanna rephrase that?" Jaune asked angrily. The punk, a bit intimidated, still sneered.



"Should I have called her what she really is? A slut-?"



The leader lost his speaking privileges, along with most of his teeth, as Jaune's fist met his jaw.



The scuffle was extremely short. Two Hunters-in-training against a few street punks was no real contest. However, Yang got a little too enthusiastic and sent one flying through a window. That got the cops to arrive quickly, and they stormed in.



"Drop to the floor, now!" The cop shouted, gun raised. Jaune held up his arms.



"Hey! He was stopping the bad guys!" Yang shouted angrily.



"DROP DOWN ON THE FLOOR!" The cop repeated.



Yang snarled.



"YOU-!"



"Take it easy, Yang!" Jaune shouted. He sighed as he pulled off his sunglasses and hat. "Look, we'll sort this all out and-"



The cops all gaped in shock.



"Councilman Arc?!" One cried.



Jaune coughed. Well, that made things easier.



"Yes, uh, I was just here when these guys came in and-"



"And he and his girlfriend saved me from these-these punks!" Ma Bear said happily, slapping Jaune on the back, "Thanks, Kid! You and Yang can eat here free from now on!"



"No, really, I'll pay for-!"



A camera drone flew into his face, shining a bright light. A familiar woman with lavender hair and a purple pantsuit rushed in, holding a microphone.



"Councilman Arc, I'm Lisa Lavender with VNN! Getting into fights with White Fang now?"



"I defended myself and the people here!" Jaune stated, irritated at the reporter, "With Yang! A bunch of assholes don't get to push people around!"



"You tell them, Stud!" Yang laughed, wrapping her arms around his, "Especially if they insult his lovely girlfriend!"



"That's right-Wait no-!"



Lisa grinned like a hungry shark as she leaned in with the camera drone. The cops all watched in a mixture of disbelief and amusement. Ma Bear laughed.



"So? You're no longer single, Mister Arc?"



"That's not what I-You-!"



Yang took pity on Jaune, and grabbed him.



"No comment!" She announced, "Gotta fly!" She fired off a shot from Ember Celica, launching herself and Jaune out the window. They landed on Bumblbee and she gunned it, practically flying down the road. Jaune held on for dear life.



"WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?!" Jaune shouted.



Yang shrugged.



"Spur of the moment! And just relax! In like 24 hours, nobody's gonna remember this!"



"SOMEHOW I DOUBT IT!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

You know, I did have a crack idea where Blake explains that among the many other reasons she broke up with Adam...



Blake: "I saw his diary."



Weiss: "Oh?"



Blake: "Yes... It was..." shudders



Yang: "What? What did he want to do with you?"



Ruby: "Yeah!"



Blake: "It was... Horrendous. Twisted... Even by my standards!"



Yang: covers Ruby's ears



Ruby: "HEY! I WANNA HEAR!"



Yang: "No! Actually, maybe we shouldn't even get into this-"



Blake: "He wanted... T-To love and respect and cherish me!"



Weiss, Yang and Ruby: "... Wut?"



Blake: nods "He wanted me to be his... His equal! He wanted me to be his queen, and to be my knight!"



Weiss: "... Huh?"



Blake: shudders "And... And to give me children! Lots of them! He had names picked out!"



Ruby: "Um... But he would like... Make you a slave or something, right?"



Blake: "NO! He wanted me to live by his side as I chose! And be..." makes a face "Monogamous! Married!"



Weiss: deadpan "The horror."



Blake: "It gets worse! He would be tender, warm, loving... And vanilla! With long romantic walks on the beach!"



Yang: "Um... While he smacked you around for disobeying him or something, right?"



Blake: "NO! He didn't have anything like that! Or spanking! Or whips or chains or anything like that! He wasn't even going to put a collar on me! He thought that would be..." shudders "SEXIST!"



Ruby: "So... He wanted to basically make you happy?"



Blake: "UGH! He didn't listen to a single thing I wanted from him! Or read any of my erotica! I left it in our room! Open! And yet he never even knew I wanted him to pick them up and read him! Who does he think he is?! He should have treated me like his-his pet. Made me submit! But nooo, he just wanted to be 'happily married' and 'respectful of my feelings' and 'build a happy family! with me' What a jerk!"



Yang: "... But he still wants to massacre all humans, right?"



Blake: "Oh yes, absolutely he wants that! But this just put me over the edge!"



Yang: "... I'm gonna go hang out with Nora. I need some sanity in my life." She gets up and leaves



Weiss: "... So he's single now?"



Ruby: "WEISS!"



Weiss: "What?! We could work out the whole 'kill all humans' thing!"

 

[zMADLAXz]

Weiss: "... So he's single now?"



Ruby: "WEISS!"



Weiss: "What?! We could work out the whole 'kill all humans' thing!"

Click to shrink...

Go weiss go, heal our Beast with the power of being an absolute dork.

I mean for all the crimes of Schnee against the Faunus, what better way to placate the worst of the Faunus affected by them, than to marry the heir of the Schnee corporation.

So that he can commit even more atrocities like giving his employees fair wage, paid vacations and worst of all, a good health plan?!!!

Gods forbid he actually fixes the world, the horror.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Kek nobodies gonna forget that. Love the nod to the Three Bears story

And damn Adam. Just when one thought he couldn't get any worse

 

[Joshuahaderach]

Yang: "... I'm gonna go hang out with Nora. I need some sanity in my life." She gets up and leaves



Weiss: "... So he's single now?"



Ruby: "WEISS!"



Weiss: "What?! We could work out the whole 'kill all humans' thing!"

Click to shrink...

I would hope Jaune shows up right after this saying "I'll do all that without killing humans plus I'll even stop calling you snow angel and singing" or someone else pointing out that did Weiss really think Neptune would be that type of guy over Jaune. Because Weiss's expectations seem as flawed as Blake's just in different ways.

Though I do like an unrepentant and hilariously anti-vanilla Blake. She did at least end things with Adam when she realized that they were truly incompatible. It wouldn't be Blake, if she didn't do it in the most dramatic way possible, causing herself and everyone around her to suffer.

I also see your anti-Bumblebee showing through as I'm pretty sure Yang is permanently turned off by this 20 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound sack Blake.

Nicely done conveying so many different points in one scene!

 

[LordofBones]

Ozpin sipped his mug, and shrugged.

"I'm sure you'll work it all out."

Click to shrink...

Jaune is a true Valean patriot, preaching unity and cooperation.

"So we can still hate Menagerie, right?"

"The island that thinks their catgirls are better than ours? Sure, go nuts."

"I heard their catgirls can't even "nyaaa" right! What about Mistral?"

"Three words: Valean. Ninja. Maids."

"Good point, Councillor! ...We can still hate Vacuo though, right?"

 

[SharkCultist]

"Good point, Councillor! ...We can still hate Vacuo though, right?"

Click to shrink...

I'm imagining a flood of shitty off brand star wars sand memes.

 

[zMADLAXz]

This Star Wars thinging reminded of this.

Spoiler

Imagine White Fang does merchandising with Adam's Picture on a T-Shirt saying things like "Come to White Fang, We have Drip"?

NGL that would actually be better than whatever revolutionary shit Ghira was doing.

 

[SharkCultist]

This Star Wars thinging reminded of this.

Spoiler

Imagine White Fang does merchandising with Adam's Picture on a T-Shirt saying things like "Come to White Fang, We have Drip"?

NGL that would actually be better than whatever revolutionary shit Ghira was doing.

Click to shrink...

I'm picturing a shitty TV rap commercial.

We got cat girls, bat girls.
Mad girls, rad girls.

We got guns, we got buns.

The coolest gang, come hang with the white fang!

 

[zMADLAXz]

I'm picturing a shitty TV rap commercial.

We got cat girls, bat girls.
Mad girls, rad girls.

We got guns, we got buns.

The coolest gang, come hang with the white fang!

Click to shrink...

You know if Weiss and Adam did get together I can totally see her Commercializing the White Fang with Advertisements and everything.

Heck she could even play the fiddle with International Laws to establish WF as a legitimate buisness and use it to develop Menagerie.

We might even see a custody battle between Schnees and Belladonnas for Weiss.

Schnees because finally White Fang won't target them(and also they can make WF a part of SDC protection detail) and Belladonnas because finally they can prove that non violence works.

In middle of this Adam and Weiss have a Wedding headed by Cardinal Winchester(I actually searched and found out that Cardin is based on Cardinal Winchester who actually opposed Joan of Arc) and Jaune is there to make sure the ceremony goes off without hitch. Also because his Family allowed them to use the Arc property for the wedding.

Pyrrha and Ruby are the happiest (Ruby is just happy for her bestie and Pyrrha is happy because one less problem), Yang is trying to rizz Jaune because the Arc Vineyards make the finest Wine(Pyrrha's mood is ruined and her day is now going terrible), Blake...........

Oh no, she might actually commit auto-deletion in this weird world.

Anyways, as a Wise Chibi Nora once said.

Nothing Bad Happened. Ever.

 

[Bommel]

Imagine White Fang does merchandising with Adam's Picture on a T-Shirt saying things like "Come to White Fang, We have Drip"?

Click to shrink...

That's pretty much what the Nazies tried to do, with them putting a lot of effort in trying to make their fascism be as "cool" as possible.
This included clothes designed Hugo Boss (who was very eager to colaborate), propaganda to make them seem the coolest and right, supressing or destroying anything that made even the slightest amount of fun of them, etc. (while also being
The whole thing with fascism is that they need to present themselves as "cool" and "awesome" because the moment someone can make fun of them they literally lose a lot of their power and influence.
So, one of the best ways to fight and take power away from fascism is to make fun of them (still fight them in every way possible when they're doing actual atrocities, obviously).

On a related note, pretty much all art produced by the nazies is all terrible.
In Real Life, for all of his oratory skills, Hitler's artistic works were considered mediocre at best: he couldn't get into art school, his magnum opus is considered lousy in both morals and as a form of literature, and his big architectural plans for Berlin are considered tacky and unfeasible.
And aside from a few movies, most of the propaganda films produced by Nazi Germany were terrible.

 

[zMADLAXz]

That's pretty much what the Nazies tried to do, with them putting a lot of effort in trying to make their fascism be as "cool" as possible.
This included clothes designed Hugo Boss (who was very eager to colaborate), propaganda to make them seem the coolest and right, supressing or destroying anything that made even the slightest amount of fun of them, etc. (while also being
The whole thing with fascism is that they need to present themselves as "cool" and "awesome" because the moment someone can make fun of them they literally lose a lot of their power and influence.
So, one of the best ways to fight and take power away from fascism is to make fun of them (still fight them in every way possible when they're doing actual atrocities, obviously).

On a related note, pretty much all art produced by the nazies is all terrible.
In Real Life, for all of his oratory skills, Hitler's artistic works were considered mediocre at best: he couldn't get into art school, his magnum opus is considered lousy in both morals and as a form of literature, and his big architectural plans for Berlin are considered tacky and unfeasible.
And aside from a few movies, most of the propaganda films produced by Nazi Germany were terrible.

Click to shrink...

Thanks for the info and now I would like to share some observations I made.

1) All these memes about come to dark side now make the empire even more Nazi Coded.

2) Modern Buisness practices of building "Trust" and "Relationship" are now forever tainted by this fact that Nazis used them.

3) I am frankly tired of Real World's Worldbuilding. Did we run out of Villains? That Nazis are reoccurring everywhere? What is this, real life or a mediocre YA novel about superheroes?

4) These People pop up in spaces you don't even expect.

Like here we have a symbol related to many cultures/relegions, at least one of which is related to a writing system almost as old as the cuneiform writing system and this symbol is even now marked to make objects and places more auspicious.

Oh! Turns out funny moustache man used it for his band of genocidal meanies and now random people start labelling cultures that have existed even before their ancestors figured out clothing as Nazis.

Man I fucking hate Nazis. They ruin everything and are everywhere. Like Mice.