[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[TheFabulousCustodes]

This could be a fun way for Ren, Nora, Jaune, Yang and Blake to bond: Criminal histories.

Click to shrink...

Now you've forced me to do it, again!

The Huntsmen and Wonder Zwei in "As The Cookie Crumbles!"
​

The Huntsmen - "Here we are Wonder Zwei, Royal Bakery and Cafe, the favorite provider of baked goods to Beacon's students, said to have been founded with money from the King of Vale himself, years ago when Beacon first began training the future protectors of our wonderful kingdom!

Wonder Zwei - "Bark!"

The Huntsmen - "No, Wonder Zwei, the rumors of the King of Vale having a crippling addiction to hot chocolate and founding the bakery solely to provide himself, and not his students, with a steady supply are completely fictional rumors. As is the rumor that his ghost still walks the shop to this day! Now be alert, Pyrrha Nikos, Beacon's star huntress alerted me to the possibility of criminal trouble taking place here!"

The Red Reaper - "Trouble is right Huntsmen! But why don't we make it..... Double!"

The Red Huntress - "Hello!"

The Huntsmen - *Gasp!* "Two of Vale's worst super criminals in one place, what fiendish plans do you have for the children and future protectors of our democratically governed kingdom?!?!"

The Red Reaper - "I'm glad you asked, Huntsmen! As you are undoubtedly aware, being the goody two shoes civic minded individual that you are, today is interkingdom "Huntsmen Appreciation Day" whereupon the citizenry thank their protectors by offering them tokens of appreciation for their efforts!"

The Huntsmen - "Those rewards are for this kingdoms law abiding protectors! What foul plans do you and the Red Huntress have for this poor bakery?!?!"

*The Red Reaper points to a prominently featured cookie jar in the bakery*
​

The Red Reaper - "As you can see Huntsmen, the jar is clearly labeled "One free cookie per Hunter or Hunter in Training". But, the Red Huntress and I shall each take..... TWO COOKIES!!!!!!!!"

The Huntsmen - "You and your accomplice's blatant disregard for common courtesy, and the respectful requests of Vale's shopkeepers will not go unpunished, Red Reaper. Prepare for your ill gotten cookies to crumble! Wonder Zwei, to action!"

Will our villains foul plans succeed? Will Wonder Zwei and the Red Huntress get enough speaking roles to gain entrance to the Vale Actors Guild? Find out next time on.... "As The Cookie Crumbles, Part 2!"​

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Pyrrha calls her mother.



Athena: "Pyrrha! You finally called me back! Oh my wonderful daughter, you're finally opening up to me and-"



Pyrrha: "Mother! Listen very carefully. I need your help and I don't want to deal with any of your usual nonsense!"



Athena: "Nonsense?! Like what?!"



Pyrrha: "No dramatic pauses, no histrionics, no nothing!"



Athena: "But you must admit I am a Master of the DRAMATIC..."



Silence.



Athena: "... PAUSE!"



Pyrrha: "MOTHER."



Athena: "All right all right... What does my darling daughter need?"



Pyrrha: "... How do I seduce a man I love?"



Athena: "..." begins to cry "MY DAUGHTER IS FINALLY GROWING UP AND COMING TO ME FOR ADVICE ON BOYSSSS! UWAAAAHHHHH!"



Pyrrha: "MOTHER!"



Athena: "Ahem, sorry... What do you want to know?"



Meanwhile, at Jaune's office...



Yang: "Here, drink this. It's an old family remedy."



Jaune: gulps it down "Mmm... Tea with lemon?"



Ruby: beams "Yeah! Always helps with a sore throat!"



Weiss: "I trust you won't yell at your fellow Councilmembers anymore in the future, Jaune?"



Jaune: "I wasn't yelling! I was expressing my feelings very loudly."



Blake: smirks a bit



Nora: "So, if I hit the politicians, could I claim I was just using 'aggressive massage techniques?'"



Jaune: "Not unless you get elected to office, Nora."



Nora: "Phooey! Renny, you're my campaign manager! My slogan: 'A pancake in every hop, and a waffle in every house!'"



Ren: deadpan "I'll get right on it."



Pyrrha enters... On high heels... In a sexy secretary outfit. She shoots a smoky smile at Jaune as she slinks right up to him, around the desk, "accidentally" bumping Weiss, Ruby, and Yang out of the way.



Weiss: "Hey!"



Yang: "What?!"



Ruby: "What was that for?"



Pyrrha: "Oh, I'm so sorry~. Jaune, you need more support in your day to day. I'm here to provide it~. In any position you might want~."



Jaune: staring "I uh... Um..."



Weiss: "Ah... While you're quite adept at schoolwork and combat, Pyrrha, I believe Jaune needs more support from someone who knows big business-"



Blake: "And politics."



Yang: "He needs the voice of the common man! Down to earth kind of ladies!"



Ruby: "Yeah!"



Pyrrha: her smile becomes quite scary "I believe that's up to Jaune to decide. He is our client... Our councilman... Our leader. Anything he says, goes. Especially for me~..."



Jaune: "Ummmm... Look. We're all in this together, and if you want to help, I will assign fair workloads to everyone. Thank you Pyrrha, I really appreciate everything you've done for me." smiles at her



Pyrrha: bright red, stutters, her seductive air vanishes immediately "R-Really?!"



Jaune: "Absolutely. Let's talk in private, huh?"



Pyrrha: grins... Is smug at the other fuming girls as Jaune leads her to a side room. He shuts the door.



Jaune: "Pyrrha..."



Pyrrha: "Yes Jaune~?"



Jaune: "... You feeling okay? You're acting really weird."



Pyrrha: "I-I'm fine! I swear I'm totally fine-" She trips 'accidentally' and falls into his arms "Oh! Oh my, how clumsy of me~!"



Jaune: "Yeah..." He holds a hand up to her forehead "Geez, you're hot!"



Pyrrha: bright red, giggles "I am~?"



Jaune: "There's only one thing to do!"



Pyrrha: "Yes?!"



Smashcut... To Pyrrha in an ambulance. Jaune is smiling and holding her hand.



Jaune: "You'll be just fine, Pyr! I know you will! I'll visit you soon!"



Pyrrha: "..." sighs "Yes... I know you will, Jaune..."



Blake: "Hm. There are times his density comes in handy."



Jaune: "What?"



Blake: "Oh, nothing~."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Yang is exasperated with Jaune.

Yang: "Look, why can't you just go out with me? It was fun, right?"

Jaune: "We fought White Fang members and became a spectacle on the news!"

Yang: "But it was fun, right?"

Jaune: "... Yes. Yes it was. But I can't just... I can't just look like I'm some reckless vigilante or playboy! Why do you think I've been turning down Weiss, Blake, Coco, Ruby, or Pyrrha's requests to go out for fun?"

Yang: "Wait a minute... They're asking you out on dates too?!"

Jaune: "No! No, they're not dates-!"

Yang: "They'd better not be!"

Jaune: "But they'll look like dates! I can't just look like I'm keeping a harem of Huntresses! Nobody would take me seriously, and besides! I have to live up to the moral obligations of my office!"

Yang: giggles "I dunno, a harem might get you some votes~."

Jaune: "This isn't funny Yang."

Yang: "It is! Come on. You should act confident. It's no big deal if you go out for fun with your friends!"

Jaune: "Friends, yes. Just single girls, no!"

Yang: "Well then, that's a simple fix. Just make me your girlfriend."

Jaune: "I... What-?!"

Yang: "What? You got a problem with me?"

Jaune: "N-No, of course not but um... I-I mean, uh, it's a bit sudden-"

Yang: "Come on! I'm offering, I'm hot, I'm a Huntress, I'm your friend-"

Jaune: "But you'd be dating someone you don't... I mean..."

Yang: smile "Don't what?"

Jaune: "I mean... Your feelings and all are-"

Secretary over the PA: "Mister Arc, Councilwoman Glocken is here to see you."

Jaune: groans "Oh good. I needed a visit from the Queen Bitch of Hell... She can't hear me, can she Julie?"

Julie: "No."

Jaune: Good."

Yang: "Look, the city already thinks we're dating. So let's do it."

Jaune: "But if you... If you find someone you really care about-"

Yang: smirks "I'll be sure to let them know." Kisses his cheek

Jaune: "Ah! Y-Yang!"

She then sits in his lap.

Jaune: "Wha-?"

Yang: "Just imagine the expression on that old hag's face if you talk to her with me in your lap the whole time!"

Jaune: "... On one hand... That won't help me convince her to see things my way."

Yang: "And on the other?"

Jaune: "... It would be funny."

Yang: grins "Julie! Send her in!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune comes into his office after a very long day. Pyrrha, Nora and Ren were on duty to protect him. Nora is patting him on the back.

Nora: "Hey! I think things went well! More people said 'yes' than 'no'! That counts as a win in democracy, right?"

Jaune: "Yeah... And I managed to cut down the riders and pork spending on the bill to the bare minimum." yawns "Though we're gonna have to renegotiate the trade agreements with Vacuo... Just as soon as they're done with their latest civil war."

Ren: "They called it an election."

Jaune: "Yeah, well, there's not much difference between the two in Vacuo-"

Weiss: "Jaune! We need to speak, it's very urgent!"

Weiss grabs Jaune's hand. Jaune is immediately alert.

Jaune: "What? What is it?"

Weiss: "This trade agreement with Atlas you're working on! I've learned some details of it from my sources!"

Pyrrha: politely, but with an edge "Hello to you too, Weiss."

Weiss: "Oh. Um, yes, sorry. Hello. Anyway! What's this I hear about you threatening tariffs on the SDC?"

Jaune: "Huh? Oh! We're still working that out but basically, it's not fair for Atlas to use tariffs to keep our domestic Dust production down when they have a virtual monopoly on it. So we're going to use counter tariffs. It's gonna cause a brief interruption in Dust shipments, but Headmaster Ozpin is confident it will lead to them agreeing to a more fair trade agreement with equal or no tariffs on both sides so that our domestic Dust production can increase, and the SDC has to submit to more oversight. General Ironwood is apparently in favor of it too so that Vale can produce more Dust and the industry can't be as easily disrupted during a global crisis. I mean, I understand if you're unhappy with it-"

Weiss: "Unhappy?! It's brilliant! If Mistral and Vacuo followed suit, we might be able to rein in my father! Did you come up with it?"

Jaune: "Er, no, I just agree it's a good thing-"

Weiss: "Well! I am going to help you get it passed!"

Jaune: "Oh! Well... I mean, that would be great, Weiss! It would be a big help-"

Blake pops in with a scowl.

Blake: "That's all well and good, but there's a far more important bit of legislation Jaune should be pushing."

Weiss: "Oh? And what's that?"

Nora: "PANCAKES SHOULD BE SUBSIDIZED!"

Jaune: wearily "I took care of that in the farm bill, Nora!"

Nora: "Really?" beams "Objection withdrawn!"

Jaune sits at his desk and smiles at Blake.

Jaune: "So, what do you think I should focus on?"

Blake: "A full Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution of Vale!"

Weiss: "WHAT?! Are you insane?! You have any idea how long or involved it is to amend the constitution!? They purposely made it as difficult as possible!"

Blake: nods "But it's a long time coming! The current anti-discrimination laws on the books in Vale are inadequate! We need Faunus quotas at every level of government!"

Weiss: "Oh yes, because that never causes any problems!"

Blake: "Sometimes you have to force the system to change!"

Weiss: "Spoken like a terrorist!"

Blake: "Spoken like a rich brat who never had to work a day in her life!"

Weiss: "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the mansion in Menagerie you grew up in!"

Blake: "It-It wasn't as big as yours!"

Weiss: "Oh gee, how big of a mansion should it be then, Blake?! Before it becomes an issue?!"

Blake: "You're just trying to make yourself richer with this trade bill!"

Weiss: "I am NOT!"

Jaune: sucks in a deep breath "Enough!"

Both girls pause and look at Jaune. He scowls at them.

Jaune: "Look! Bickering like this isn't going to convince me of anything except that I shouldn't listen to either of you! The trade bill is still being worked out in committee. We don't have anything firm for it yet, but if I need your help Weiss, I'll ask!"

Weiss: meekly "Y-Yes Jaune."

Jaune: "And Blake? I get where you're coming from, but given the White Fang attacks, any civil rights legislation for Faunus isn't going to be very popular. I know, it sucks." sighs "If you could talk to your parents to try something diplomatic, a show of good faith, that might help me do something. Not as extreme as you're asking, but I could get the ball rolling. Would that work?"

Blake: "... I suppose... I-I could try."

Jaune: "You should talk to your folks anyway, Blake. It will help you, and Faunus. I promise."

Blake: nods "All right. I will."

Jaune: "Good. Thank you. If you'll excuse me, I need to get some food and rest."

Pyrrha: "We'll get you home, Jaune." all smiles

JNPR leaves. Blake and Weiss are silent for a moment.

Weiss: "... Well... Um... I had better get going..."

Blake: "Wait." sniffs "Appleblossom perfume?"

Weiss: "What of it?"

Blake: "After Jaune said he likes appleblossoms?"

Weiss: "So?"

Blake: "You were trying to seduce him to your way of thinking!"

Weiss: "I was not! He's already working on something in regards to the SDC! I-I just chose it because I like it!" glares "And you can't talk! You have buttons unbottoned on your blouse!"

Blake: "It just goes to show that I'm more serious about politics than you."

Weiss: "Really? And how is that?"

Blake: "Simple: I'm going to seduce him properly to my side."

Weiss: "WHAT?!"

- - -

Please no modern day political arguments, okay? I know my history, Tariffs have been used throughout human history, let's just let it go okay?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

It was the best birthday Jaune could ever remember experiencing. When he and Yang returned the next morning, holding hands, cuddling and kissing, he didn't think his good mood would ever vanish.
Taiyang: "Good morning Yang!" Maniacal smile, dark tone "Good morning, Jaune."
Yang: "Ah! Oh, uh, h-hey Dad! Um, what brings you here?"
Qrow: "You mean what brings us here." He looms behind Jaune ominously
Jaune's Brain: Oh shit he's Batman!
Jaune: "Uh... H-Hello, Mister Xiao-Long, Mister Branwen. Sirs."
Taiyang: still smiling ominously, he puts a hand on Jaune's shoulder.
Qrow: Puts his hand on Jaune's other shoulder
Taiyang: "We need to have a little chat with your boyfriend here. Won't be long!"
Yang: "Dad, I love him-!"
Qrow: "So we're just gonna have a little chat with him about it!"
Jaune: "It's okay Yang... I've got seven sisters." he smiles "I love you too."
Yang: blush "G-Geez... You gotta be that sincere?"
Jaune: "Yeah. And you're cute when you blush."
Taiyang and Qrow's ire seems to grow. But Jaune smiles and shrugs.
Yang: "... Hurt him and I'll beat both your asses!"
Taiyang: "Yeah yeah..."
The two older men lead Jaune away towards Ozpin's office.
Jaune's Brain: So... Stay cool, stay cool... They have every right to give me the business..."
They enter the elevator, and the doors slide shut.
Qrow: "... You two had sex, didn't you?"
Jaune's Brain: Okay... Um... Coming right out with it... Uh, I need to say something...
Jaune: "Yes."
Jaune's Brain: Craaaaaapppp!
Taiyang: "Qrow, come on. He was honest about it, they're legal, and he's helping us save the world."
Qrow: scowls "Why are you playing good cop? You said you wanted to be bad cop!"
Taiyang: groans "Damnit! I'm so used to being the good cop it just popped out of there!" He scowled and grabbed Jaune's armor "Listen Jaune. From everything I know, you're a good kid."
Jaune: "Yes sir, but she's your daughter and you love her."
Taiyang: "Yes!"
Jaune: "So do I. With all my heart."
Taiyang: "Good! And if you ever break her heart I'll punt you into space! That clear?!"
Jaune: "Yes sir!"
Qrow: "And that's not even getting into what I'll do to you, Kid." grins, holds up a knife
Jaune: gulps "Yes sir..."
Taiyang: "... Why is he the one you're more intimidated by?!"
Jaune: "I'm intimidated by you both, sir?"
Qrow: "Heh! I still got it! Also Kid: We're gonna be doing some training together, you and me! You're still struggling and frankly, you need a trainer who won't go easy on ya!"
Jaune: gulps "... Yes sir?"
Taiyang: "Damnit Qrow! We promised we'd do these things together!"
Qrow: "Oh now it's a we?"
Jaune's Brain: God this elevator is taking so damn long...

Click to shrink...

They finally made it to Ozpin's office. General Ironwood, Professors Goodwitch, Oobleck and Port waited with Arjun, Saia, Ghira, Kali, and Jaune's parents Nick and Isabel. Ozpin sat behind the desk, as Taiyang and Qrow led Jaune in.

Ozpin: "Now Jaune... Let us begin."

Jaune nodded. He sat down. Everyone else did to... And he began. He told them everything he could remember from the future. Every event, every bit (save for personal stuff. He didn't think outlining the relationship issues their team had would be very useful). The Rusted Knight part was the most difficult to get through... Well, next to Vytal, and Atlas. When he was finished, he looked down at the floor, feeling very tired. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up. His mother and father had gotten up to rest a hand on his shoulder. His mother had wet eyes as she smiled gently at him.

Nick: "That was a lot to carry, son."

Jaune: "Thanks Dad..."

Nick: "You bore it well. But you don't have to handle it alone anymore."

Isabel: "Yes. We're here for you."

Arjun: "As are we, Jaune."

Saia: "Always."

Ozpin cleared his throat. All eyes turned to him.

Ozpin: "That said, the details are different. Indeed, in that future, did you ever meet with your parents again, Jaune?"

Jaune: "Not that I know of. They just... They didn't seem to care."

Isabel: "We didn't care about our own son?!" She hugged him tightly

Ironwood: "And I... I became a monster?"

Jaune: "I mean... I didn't know all the details, sir. I just know what I saw."

Ozpin: "It is possible that he got a corrupted vision. There are many details that were not taken into account. I cannot fathom a timeline where you, James, became a merciless dictator who tried to kill off his own people."

Ironwood: grim, but nods "... Thank you, old friend."

Ghira: "Besides, that future is already changed. Menagerie played little role in anything after Haven, but now we're willing to form an alliance." Smiled at Jaune "All thanks to this young man."

Jaune: "Er, thank you sir."

Kali: "Have you gotten our daughter pregnant yet?"

Jaune: "N-NO! Ma'am, please, I know what she said but I love my girlfriend very much!"

Kali: "Oh? Are you sure? I believe your great-grandfather had more than one wife. What do you say, Isabel? More grandchildren the better!"

Isabel: "Well..."

Arjun: "May has broken up amicably with her boyfriend, Neptune. And we did always want the families to be joined."

Nick: "I mean, they do have dibs, Kali."

Isabel: "Dibs?!"

Saia: sigh "Arjun!"

Arjun: "What? I'm not saying we make an arranged marriage now! I'm just saying it's an option!"

Port: "HAHAHA! My boy, you truly are exceptional! Why, I remember the time my wife and I-!"

Ozpin: "If we could focus?"

The mood becomes serious again. Ozpin nods.

Ozpin: "We now know Lionheart is a traitor. We know Jacques Schnee will one day betray Atlas for power via Arthur Watts. We have taken steps to prevent the Vytal Festival attacks and the fall of Beacon."

Isabel: "But will it be enough? Jaune's visions aren't entirely reliable!"

Ozpin: "This is true. And his actions with his team and those of RWBY have attracted a great deal of attention. I believe for the time being, JNPR and RWBY should maintain a low profile while we sort things out. Summer Break is coming up, after all. It would be natural for them to vacation somewhere remote, but with sufficient protection."

Taiyang: "Well, they can come to Patch! It's nice and isolated. We'll keep a close watch on him!"

Arjun: "Pandu is very secure. They could come there."

Ironwood: "Atlas is the most secure place imaginable. They would be very well protected."

Ozpin: shakes his head "No, it is best to keep them all close, but somewhere Jaune was already planning to go to: Radian."

Ironwood: "I see... Well, I could deploy an armored regiment near there-"

Isabel: "Certainly not! That would just attract more attention, not less!"

Ironwood: "His visions of the future might be vital to the survival of Remnant. He needs protection!"

Ozpin: "I agree James, but it does us no good to broadcast 'here he is'. I believe the Radian militia will be sufficient for now. It is also close enough we can deploy forces rapidly if the need arises."

Jaune: breathes a sigh of relief

Jaune's Mind: Thank God, that would be heinous...

Taiyang: "Then I'll tag along! After all, I want to get to know my daughter's boyfriend, don't I?" His eyes glow briefly

Isabel: "Taiyang!"

Nick: "Not sure why, they've already done the deed."

Jaune: "DAD!"

Isabel: "NICKKKKK!"

Nick: shrugs "What? I have seven daughters, I know when a girl and a boy have gotten some! Or a girl and a girl, in Saphron's case-"

Isabel: "NICCCCKKKKKK!"

Jaune: groans

Ozpin: "As said before, our best defense is to maintain the illusion everything is normal. Besides Tai, I need you and Qrow to apprehend Lionheart. James and Arjun, your forces will be in support."

Arjun: grumbles, but nods

Ironwood: "Very well, Ozpin."

Qrow: glares at Jaune "Don't think this means you're off the hook, Kid."

Jaune: "I-I wouldn't imagine it did."

Jaune's Brain: Still... Can't help still feeling smug... On top of being in love with Yang, of course...

Glynda: "It would be good to have someone around for immediate backup, Ozpin. Isabel and Nick are formidable, but if Salem realizes he's not one of her agents, she could deploy her strongest assets."

Ozpin: "True. Which is why you will go with them, Glynda."

Glynda: "Sir?"

Nick: "Hahaha! You do need a vacation, Glynda! We've got plenty of room!"

Ozpin: "That will be the appropriate cover. You have told me you need a vacation several times, Glynda."

Glynda: "I-You..." sigh "Very well."

Kali: "It wouldn't be too much to ask for me to visit Radian as well? I'm sure Ghira can handle all the arrangements."

Ozpin: "I believe the point is to avoid attracting attention?"

Kali: "Hmph."

Nick: "Don't worry Kali! I'm sure Jaune and Blake will work something out if you want grandkids! You too, Arjun, if you want to send May along!"

Jaune: "DAD!"

Jaune's Brain: Goddamnit, why did I have to open my big fat trap? Oh right, I want to save the world... Still, maybe it won't be that bad? ... The hell am I saying, of course it will be that bad! Hell, I've probably made it worse!

 

[AndrewJTalon]

They finally made it to Ozpin's office. General Ironwood, Professors Goodwitch, Oobleck and Port waited with Arjun, Saia, Ghira, Kali, and Jaune's parents Nick and Isabel. Ozpin sat behind the desk, as Taiyang and Qrow led Jaune in.

Ozpin: "Now Jaune... Let us begin."

Jaune nodded. He sat down. Everyone else did to... And he began. He told them everything he could remember from the future. Every event, every bit (save for personal stuff. He didn't think outlining the relationship issues their team had would be very useful). The Rusted Knight part was the most difficult to get through... Well, next to Vytal, and Atlas. When he was finished, he looked down at the floor, feeling very tired. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up. His mother and father had gotten up to rest a hand on his shoulder. His mother had wet eyes as she smiled gently at him.

Nick: "That was a lot to carry, son."

Jaune: "Thanks Dad..."

Nick: "You bore it well. But you don't have to handle it alone anymore."

Isabel: "Yes. We're here for you."

Arjun: "As are we, Jaune."

Saia: "Always."

Ozpin cleared his throat. All eyes turned to him.

Ozpin: "That said, the details are different. Indeed, in that future, did you ever meet with your parents again, Jaune?"

Jaune: "Not that I know of. They just... They didn't seem to care."

Isabel: "We didn't care about our own son?!" She hugged him tightly

Ironwood: "And I... I became a monster?"

Jaune: "I mean... I didn't know all the details, sir. I just know what I saw."

Ozpin: "It is possible that he got a corrupted vision. There are many details that were not taken into account. I cannot fathom a timeline where you, James, became a merciless dictator who tried to kill off his own people."

Ironwood: grim, but nods "... Thank you, old friend."

Ghira: "Besides, that future is already changed. Menagerie played little role in anything after Haven, but now we're willing to form an alliance." Smiled at Jaune "All thanks to this young man."

Jaune: "Er, thank you sir."

Kali: "Have you gotten our daughter pregnant yet?"

Jaune: "N-NO! Ma'am, please, I know what she said but I love my girlfriend very much!"

Kali: "Oh? Are you sure? I believe your great-grandfather had more than one wife. What do you say, Isabel? More grandchildren the better!"

Isabel: "Well..."

Arjun: "May has broken up amicably with her boyfriend, Neptune. And we did always want the families to be joined."

Nick: "I mean, they do have dibs, Kali."

Isabel: "Dibs?!"

Saia: sigh "Arjun!"

Arjun: "What? I'm not saying we make an arranged marriage now! I'm just saying it's an option!"

Port: "HAHAHA! My boy, you truly are exceptional! Why, I remember the time my wife and I-!"

Ozpin: "If we could focus?"

The mood becomes serious again. Ozpin nods.

Ozpin: "We now know Lionheart is a traitor. We know Jacques Schnee will one day betray Atlas for power via Arthur Watts. We have taken steps to prevent the Vytal Festival attacks and the fall of Beacon."

Isabel: "But will it be enough? Jaune's visions aren't entirely reliable!"

Ozpin: "This is true. And his actions with his team and those of RWBY have attracted a great deal of attention. I believe for the time being, JNPR and RWBY should maintain a low profile while we sort things out. Summer Break is coming up, after all. It would be natural for them to vacation somewhere remote, but with sufficient protection."

Taiyang: "Well, they can come to Patch! It's nice and isolated. We'll keep a close watch on him!"

Arjun: "Pandu is very secure. They could come there."

Ironwood: "Atlas is the most secure place imaginable. They would be very well protected."

Ozpin: shakes his head "No, it is best to keep them all close, but somewhere Jaune was already planning to go to: Radian."

Ironwood: "I see... Well, I could deploy an armored regiment near there-"

Isabel: "Certainly not! That would just attract more attention, not less!"

Ironwood: "His visions of the future might be vital to the survival of Remnant. He needs protection!"

Ozpin: "I agree James, but it does us no good to broadcast 'here he is'. I believe the Radian militia will be sufficient for now. It is also close enough we can deploy forces rapidly if the need arises."

Jaune: breathes a sigh of relief

Jaune's Mind: Thank God, that would be heinous...

Taiyang: "Then I'll tag along! After all, I want to get to know my daughter's boyfriend, don't I?" His eyes glow briefly

Isabel: "Taiyang!"

Nick: "Not sure why, they've already done the deed."

Jaune: "DAD!"

Isabel: "NICKKKKK!"

Nick: shrugs "What? I have seven daughters, I know when a girl and a boy have gotten some! Or a girl and a girl, in Saphron's case-"

Isabel: "NICCCCKKKKKK!"

Jaune: groans

Ozpin: "As said before, our best defense is to maintain the illusion everything is normal. Besides Tai, I need you and Qrow to apprehend Lionheart. James and Arjun, your forces will be in support."

Arjun: grumbles, but nods

Ironwood: "Very well, Ozpin."

Qrow: glares at Jaune "Don't think this means you're off the hook, Kid."

Jaune: "I-I wouldn't imagine it did."

Jaune's Brain: Still... Can't help still feeling smug... On top of being in love with Yang, of course...

Glynda: "It would be good to have someone around for immediate backup, Ozpin. Isabel and Nick are formidable, but if Salem realizes he's not one of her agents, she could deploy her strongest assets."

Ozpin: "True. Which is why you will go with them, Glynda."

Glynda: "Sir?"

Nick: "Hahaha! You do need a vacation, Glynda! We've got plenty of room!"

Ozpin: "That will be the appropriate cover. You have told me you need a vacation several times, Glynda."

Glynda: "I-You..." sigh "Very well."

Kali: "It wouldn't be too much to ask for me to visit Radian as well? I'm sure Ghira can handle all the arrangements."

Ozpin: "I believe the point is to avoid attracting attention?"

Kali: "Hmph."

Nick: "Don't worry Kali! I'm sure Jaune and Blake will work something out if you want grandkids! You too, Arjun, if you want to send May along!"

Jaune: "DAD!"

Jaune's Brain: Goddamnit, why did I have to open my big fat trap? Oh right, I want to save the world... Still, maybe it won't be that bad? ... The hell am I saying, of course it will be that bad! Hell, I've probably made it worse!

Click to shrink...

Radian was even more beautiful and picturesque than Jaune remembered. The streets, the castle, the mountains in the background, the fields... And the Arc Farmhouse. All tripping memories he didn't know he'd had, ever since the "vision" had arrived.



He stood in the entryway, in front of a staircase going up to the second floors, the walls covered in family photos and keepsakes... And he let out a long sigh of relief.



Despite the strange memories he now had? He felt like he was home.



Jaune: "Come on in, guys!"



RWBY and JNPR put their luggage away in the guest rooms, and went to the living room to relax. Lilac Arc, as matronly and kind as ever, happily bustled about and provided food and snacks.



Lilac: "Hmmm... Jaune? You look a lot taller and fuller!"



Jaune: smiles "Thanks Lilac. You're just as pretty as ever. Mercer set a wedding date yet?"



Lilac: giggles "Oh... He's planning it. We'll just have to wait and see~!"



She headed back into the Kitchen. Jaune sat with Yang on one side, and Pyrrha on the other. Blake took a loveseat all to herself, while Ren and Nora shared a couch. Ruby perched on the arm of Jaune, Yang and Pyrrha's couch, while Weiss sat primly at the old family piano.



Ruby: "Anyway! Jaune and I are in agreement as team leaders! We are gonna just have fun for this whole two months! Total relaxation!"



Weiss: "I mean... If you can call relaxing in such a rustic atmosphere such..."



Yang: "Great!" Takes Jaune's hand "If you don't mind, we're gonna go roll in the hay for a while!"



Nora: "Awesome idea! Renny, let's go-Oh, no, wait! That wouldn't be fair!" She nods to the other girls "Jaune-Jaune! You gotta roll in the hay with everyone else!"



Jaune: "What?!"



Pyrrha: "Um, I wouldn't mind-"



Blake: "Well, if you insist-"



Weiss: bright red and sputtering



Ruby: blushing and trying not to look at Jaune.



Yang's eyes and hair were glowing.



Jaune: For crying out loud! "Or we can just go to the center of town and have some fun, huh? What do you say?"



Yang: "Oh, I don't know... All sorts of violence might be fun right now!"



Ruby: "Ugh... How about we all just go and have fun on our own for a while? Huh? So we can all stop being weird and horny?"



Jaune: "Probably for the best!"



And so they did split up. Blake went with Pyrrha, of all people. Weiss let Ruby drag her off. Nora and Ren ran off. And so Jaune and Yang went around the farm. Jaune talking about his childhood.



Jaune: "And this is the hot springs my grandpa built for my grandma."



Yang: smiles and nuzzles him "Mmhm? There a reason you brought me out here in particular, Stud~?"



Jaune: coughs, smiles "Well... I had a few thoughts..."



They kissed happily. And continued to make out happily... Before someone cleared their throat and they parted.



Jaune: "Mom! Uh-"



Isabel: shakes her head, sighs "You know... Other people have to do things around here too. Maybe hold off on the hanky panky for a while?"



Jaune: bright red "I... Well..."



Isabel: "Just saying. But! You are able to make your own decisions." Hands Yang a book "Here."



Yang: "'1001 Baby Names'?"



Isabel: smiles and winks "Just in case you decide to go that far. Oh, and I have a copy of the Kama Sutra too if you'd-"



Jaune: "No! Nonono, we're good Mom!" He dragged Yang away, down the road, and to the main road leading to the town center "Geez..."



Yang: "Ugh... Is she trying to make us not in the mood? Because it's working."



Jaune: chuckles and hugs her "We'll get it back. In the meantime, wanna get lunch? My Papa's restaurant is great."



Yang: smiles and nuzzles him "Sounds good to me..." tightens her grip on him "I'm just... Ya know... All of this is a little heavy."



Jaune: "Believe me. I know the feeling. But we're here to relax, so let's not think too hard about things, huh?"



Yang: "Sounds good to me."



Which is when a familiar voice called out.



???: "Jaune? JAUNE!"



Jaune gulped and turned around. There she was-Cute, busty, blonde catgirl in a sundress. She grinned and waved, even as Yang tightened her grip on his hand.



Jaune: gentle smile "Hey Katy. It's nice to see you!"



Katy: grins "Great to see you too, Jaune! I... Oh... Hello! I'm Katy Sith, Jaune's childhood friend. And you are?"



Yang: tight smile "Yang Xiao-Long... Jaune's girlfriend."



Jaune: "Yeah... We're together."



Katy: "Oh! That's great, Jaune!" beams "I was headed into town for lunch! Let's catch up at your Papa's!"



Jaune: "Well we were-"



Katy: "Please? I promise I won't take up too much of your time?"



Jaune: sucks in a breath. Feels Yang's look. "... Sure. For old time's sake."



Katy: "Great!" hugs him, and then hugs Yang "Mm! Welcome to the family!"



Jaune's Brain: Okay... She's just a friend. Just a friend... But given Yang's mood, I'm probably gonna want to cut this lunch short... Sheesh. Damn my Arc harem powers...

 

[AndrewJTalon]

CRWBY said that Jaune's Semblance essentially made him key to victory. With him, RWBY could defeat Salem... So they just had him NOT USE IT.

It's not like it would have made him the primary protagonist. Just one of many, like how it seemed to be at the start-An ensemble show. He's the WHITE MAGE, and he facilitates everyone else being able to beat the Big Bad. He's a bit like Zelda, or Aerith, or Yuna-The point is, he's a key part of the party but he's NOT the most important one. He's key, but not a Gary Stu.

There are multiple ways to make this Semblance work without breaking the universe. It takes time to master it, there are side effects to your Semblance and/or Aura being boosted that have to be trained and overcome, Jaune is casting from HP and it takes a toll on him: But simply not using it is emblematic of the laziness and ridiculousness of RWBY's writing in the later Volumes.

So, let's think of ways to use it properly to rewrite Volumes 7-9 to make sense. Like we aren't hacks.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Weiss was enjoying a relaxing luncheon with her sister out in the Bastinda Gardens of Beacon. The sun was shining and the sky was clear blue save for a few puffy clouds. The tea and cookies were excellent, as was the company. Her sister taking time from her busy schedule to visit was always a highlight for Weiss.



"The arctic foxes have begun to change their fur," Winter said with a small smile, "That has always been a delight."



"I do miss seeing it," Weiss sighed, carefully sipping her tea. "Mm, this Darjeeling is marvelous!"



"Yes, it is a blend Klein found in the Mantle markets himself," Winter said with a nod.



"Really? He went that far?" Weiss asked. She shook her head. "He needs to be more careful."



Winter smiled softly, a secret in her eyes.



"You'd be surprised at how well he can take care of himself," she said. Weiss sighed and nodded.



"Probably. I... I know him much less than I thought I did."



"You can always ask," Winter said gently, "He is not as closed off as you might think."



Weiss grimaced.



"Being in our household, I can't imagine anyone wasn't," she muttered.



Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a familiar head of blond hair. She bit back a grimace as Jaune Arc walked up with a smile. He was dressed in his school uniform, which seemed to be neatly pressed, and his hair was properly combed for once.



"Oh, hello Weiss! Oh, um, I don't think I've had the pleasure," Jaune said with a smile. Winter sized the young man up, before she stood and extended her hand.



"Winter Schnee. I am Weiss's sister," she introduced herself politely. Jaune took her hand and bent down, kissing her palm. This action brought a blush to Winter's cheeks, and Weiss gaped.



"It's a pleasure to meet you, miss," Jaune said with a smile, "I am Jaune Arc, Weiss's..." He looked over at her questioningly.



Weiss sighed and nodded.



"Friend," she admitted, though it pained her to do so. He had become much more tolerable after he ceased his pursuit of her, but his strange family and dorkiness still rubbed her the wrong way.



Winter smiled very fractionally.



"The pleasure is mine," she said with a nod, "What brings you here?"



"I'm meeting a relative of mine," Jaune explained. "She's been busy, but she's finally coming for a visit."



Weiss groaned.



"Another one?!"



"Weiss," Winter lightly scolded her. Weiss flushed and cleared her throat. How was it that her comportment and etiquette lessons failed her whenever one of her Beacon friends was involved?



"S-Sorry. It's just that... Your family is a bit, um... Eccentric," Weiss said.



Jaune blinked.



"Really?"



He blinked again, and winced at Weiss' glare.



"Oh, um, right," he said. "Uncle Mordred's offer of training is still open, you know. She thinks you have great potential."



Winter blinked in interest.



"Uncle Mordred? You don't mean Mordred Pendragon, do you?"



Jaune nodded with a smile.



"Yes!"



"She's not the one you're meeting, is she? Er, he?" Weiss asked, already looking around in dread and listening for old pop music. Jaune chuckled.



"No! No."



"And it's not Alice, is it?" Weiss asked desperately. Jaune frowned.



"No. But you know, she did really like talking with you," Jaune said, almost reproachfully. "She doesn't have many friends. I mean, living ones."


Again, guilt stabbed her in the gut. Especially with Winter's intense stare.


"I… It was nice to talk to her," Weiss managed with a slightly strained smile. She wasn't even lying, Alice was fascinating to talk to and very kind.



If not for the skeleton army in the room, she'd be happy to see her again.

"No, it's my sister Tangerine," Jaune said.

"Tanya!" An annoyed female voice stated. Jaune, Weiss and Winter turned. A short but pretty young woman with short cropped but messy blonde hair, intense blue eyes, and dressed in a neatly kept green military uniform with a darker green longcoat approached. A Dust-infused saber hung at her hip, its hilt etched with the Arc family's rainbow crescent emblem.

At her side was a taller, curvier young woman with long brown hair and a similar uniform with warm blue eyes. Her jacket was softened with light gold accents. She carried a rifle with a long bayonet slung across her back

Jaune beamed and went over to the short blonde woman. He hugged her tightly.

"Tangy," Jaune stated emphatically. The short young woman scowled, but still hugged him back.

"Ugh, if you must," she muttered, "You're lucky you're my brother, you know?"

"I know," Jaune confirmed, "Hey Visha!"

"Hey Jaune!" The brown haired woman greeted back cheerfully, giving him a more enthusiastic hug. "Aw, you just keep getting taller every time I see you!"

"Heh, thanks Visha," Jaune said with a grin, hugging her back just as enthusiastically. Jaune turned and smiled at Winter and Weiss.

"Sorry if we disturbed you-"

"Why don't you join us?" Winter interrupted, standing and saluting. Weiss looked questioningly at her older sister, who saluted Tangy. "After all, it would be an honor to meet with you, Colonel."

"Colonel?" Weiss asked, blinking in disbelief. Tangy sighed softly.

"I suppose my manners are a bit rough after being on the road so long," she admitted. "I am Colonel Tangy Arc. Late of the PMC Salamander, now commissioned into the Valean Defense Force. This is my aide-de-camp, First Lieutenant Viktoriya 'Visha' Ivanova, of Atlas."

"A pleasure to meet you!" Visha gushed, saluting back at Winter. Weiss's jaw dropped.

The White Silver?! The Mad Dog of Vale?! SHE'S HIS SISTER?!

"Shall we eat?" Visha asked brightly, holding up some picnic baskets.

---

Visha had brought an extensive packed lunch, and set it out on an adjoining, larger table. All five of the party sat down to enjoy it, though Weiss mainly nibbled as she listened to the back and forth between Tangy, Winter and Jaune.

"Ugh, the VDF has become a complete disgrace!" Tangy complained, as she ate some salmon spread on crackers, "I've had to ask the local high schools to send students who want extra credit to clean up Fort Celliwig for lack of workers. I've got my men using their flight rigs to move freight when we don't have enough Bullheads. We've even rigged a few old barges as gunships, and don't get me started on the fortifications around the city."

"Indeed," Winter nodded, enjoying a bit of caviar, "General Ironwood was very dissatisfied with the state of the security systems when he arrived. Hence why he began to deploy so many drones."

"Hmph!" Tangy snorted, "Overreliance on drones is a weakness. You've been using them like troops, when they are force multipliers. Too many things can go wrong with robotic troops. Better to have humans in the C4I loop at every stage to prevent their hacking." She looked over at Visha. "We had to deal with those Cygnus drones for a job. They were a nightmare until Grantz figured out how to hack their server: After that? We shut them down and the mercenaries were easily dealt with."

Winter frowned deeply.

"I will admit, if your cybersecurity is not up to the task it can quickly be turned into a weakness," Winter said softly. Tangy nodded.

"Especially since Vale's defenses have been compromised for some time," she went on, "How else has Torchwick and the White Fang gotten away with so many raids? The security systems across the city have been hacked. The Breach, in a sense, was a blessing, as it showed just how compromised everything was. That's why the Council gave me a commission and the job of cleaning up this mess."

Tangy looked over at Jaune with a small smile.

"You and your team did well, I hear," Tangy said. Jaune shrugged modestly.

"We just did what you taught me," he said, "Stacked up the enemy at their point of entry, denied them open ground until reinforcements arrived. It was pretty tough, and-and RWBY did a lot too." He smiled over at Weiss, whose cheeks burned red. She met Tangy's gaze, which was as stern and cold as an Atlasian winter.

"So I heard," Tangy stated flatly. Weiss winced.

"We… We tried to stop the train but-"

"But you are still inexperienced, and it shows," Tangy stated flatly. Weiss sucked in a breath, kept her chin held high, and nodded.

"Yes…"

"But they were able to get a partial warning to their friends," Winter added, "Which made the difference."

"Yeah! Without that we'd have been caught completely by surprise," Jaune enthused.

Weiss smiled gratefully at her sister, and nodded briefly to Jaune. Tangy slowly nodded, as Visha happily ate some loaded baked potatoes.

"True. The indictment is more for Ozpin and Vale's Council, not you," Tangy said. She glanced at Jaune. "Nevertheless, I'm going to be working closely with all of you to improve security with the Vytal Festival coming up."

She smiled slightly.

"I could use another Captain, Jaune. I could get you a commission," she said generously. "You were always a competent strategist and administrator."

"You mean I beat you at Remnant: The Game constantly and you shoved all your paperwork onto me when we were back home," Jaune replied glibly. Tangy coughed.

"Not just that," Tangy stated. "Still, what do you say?"

Jaune seemed to give the matter some serious thought. For a moment, Weiss's heart began to thump in her ears.

Why do I care if he leaves? She thought angrily.

Jaune slowly shook his head and smiled at his sister.

"Thanks, but no thanks," he said, "I've chosen my path."

Tangy smiled slightly back, and sipped some tea.

"Very well," she said. "Shame. You might actually be able to hack boot camp now."

"Your idea of boot camp is very different from anyone sane," Jaune groused, placing some sausage on a cracker with cheese and popping it in his mouth. Tangy snorted.

"You big baby."

"Sadist."

"Brat."

"Look who's talking, pipsqueak!" Jaune shot back. Tangy's eyes narrowed and a psychotic grin appeared on her face. Her Aura flared ominously. Jaune glared back, resolute, his own Aura roaring to life like a bonfire.

"Say that to my face, dweeb!"

"Only if I bent down far enough to look you in the eyes, tiny!"

Visha sighed as the two Arc siblings glared at one another.

"Come on, siblings shouldn't fight, Colonel!"

Tangy scowled, as did Jaune. They grumbled in unison but nodded.

"You're lucky you're so good at paperwork," Tangy huffed. Visha beamed.

"I care about you too, Colonel!" She popped another hot potato into her mouth, her face an expression of pure bliss.

"I am glad we will be working together, Colonel," Winter finally spoke, nodding to Tangy, "Our joint operations went well last time we were involved. The bandit enclave in Balto?"

Tangy nodded.

"Yes, you Specialists did well," she complimented her, "Made the operation much easier. Our flight rigs let us stay highly mobile but force on the ground is required to hold it. And that will never change."

Winter and Tangy began discussing the operation, as Visha ate happily. Weiss met Jaune's eyes. He smiled back.

"So um," he murmured, "What do you think of my sis?"

Weiss slowly shook her head.

"Your sister is one of the most terrifying mercenaries in Atlas, and now she's a legitimate military commander," Weiss muttered back, "Your family is just surreal, Jaune."

Jaune shrugged.

"They're my family," he said, "For better or worse."

Weiss smiled slightly.

"In a way? I'm almost jealous," Weiss murmured. Jaune looked at Weiss in concern. She shook her head.

"Nevermind," she said softly. "And please let Alice know I would be glad to talk to her again."

Jaune grinned.

She gave him an unlady-like snort.

"Don't think this means I'll be accepting any date invitations from you any time soon," she warned, sipping some tea.

"Er, no, I-I get it," Jaune said, holding his hands up with a nervous smile.

At length, Tangy rose. Visha began to clean up any leftovers.

"It was good to see you again, Jaune," Tangy said. She hugged Jaune briefly, despite his efforts to hold onto her. Visha made up the difference, squealing happily as she hugged him for a while. He reciprocated quite happily in a display that made Tangy grimace.

"I can't wait to see you again, Jaune!" Visha cheered, "I would love to go with you and Ruby to this new cookie shop!"

"I'll let her know," Jaune laughed. Tangy gave a nod to Winter, which she returned.

"I look forward to working on the security for the festival with you, Colonel," Winter stated.

"Same with you, Specialist," Tangy returned. The two turned and headed off, Visha gushing excitedly about various food places they might try. Jaune looked to the Schnee sisters with an apologetic look.

"Sorry we took over your private meeting-"

"No, it's fine," Winter said, waving her hand gently, "It was very informative."

"Yes," Weiss agreed.

Winter gave Jaune an appraising look. One that made Weiss frown.

"Jaune," she said, "I have to do some survey of the city defenses. Would you be so kind as to act as my guide?"

Jaune and Weiss started. Jaune cleared his throat.

"Um, if you think I'd be helpful, certainly! I'd love to!"

Winter smiled, which let Weiss reeling.

What?!

"That would be nice," Winter said, her smile growing just a bit more.

Jaune's Scroll went off. He checked it and sighed.

"Sorry, gotta go," he apologized.

"Quite all right," Winter said with a smile. She held out her own Scroll. "Your number please?"

"Oh, sure!" Jaune said with a smile. He gave it to her, and nodded to both sisters. "See you later!"

"Certainly," Winter said. Weiss held her tongue until Jaune was out of sight, passing back into Beacon through the marble pillars of the garden, before she turned on her sister.

"Wha-What is this about?!" Weiss demanded.

Winter blinked.

"What? I'm just doing my duty. He would be a good field guide to Vale given how things went." She smiled just a bit mischievously.

"I'm not stealing your boyfriend, Weiss."

Weiss turned bright red.

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Oh. So he's single then?"

"You-I-UGH!"

---

Cinder Fall scowled at her Scroll. The reports coming in were not encouraging. She lifted her eyes up to Neo, Emerald and Mercury, who were standing in front of her as she sat at her desk in her dorm.

"What do you mean the VDF has competent leadership now?" Cinder demanded.

"Yeah," Mercury coughed, "Colonel Tangerine Arc. Butcher of the Balto Pass, etc, etc. You wouldn't expect a girl who looks like a doll to be such a killer but… Damn."

Neo smirked at the reports, looking rather impressed. Cinder's scowl deepened.

"This complicates things," she muttered. "We're going to need more information."

"If it helps, Cinder," Emerald said, forwarding a bio of a student to her, "She's connected to this student. Jaune Arc."

Cinder frowned deeply as she looked the bio over. The boy was utterly unremarkable save for being Pyrrha Nikos' partner and having several of his relatives stop by. Still…

"We will make use of him then," Cinder pronounced. Emerald grimaced.

"I shall get closer to him at once, Cinder," Emerald stated.

"No need," Cinder said, "This I shall handle myself."

Neo pouted and signed:

Hogging the stud muffin to yourself, huh? Can I murder him after? He looks like he'd be fun to kill.

Cinder rolled her eyes.

"Not until the invasion… Which is already behind schedule as it is!" She huffed. "How could an entire White Fang army be annihilated in a gigantic explosion, run into a whole division of Paladins from the Church of the Broken Table, and get jailed for indecent exposure at a comic convention?!"

All across Remnant, various members of the Arc Family and their friends and allies sneezed.

---

Note:
Naturally, Tangy and Visha are borrowed from Saga of Tanya the Evil.

 

[SharkCultist]

Fun idea.

Out of boredom Salem makes a post on a throw away social media platform basically letting people design their own Grimm.

Most of them are insanely impractical or just flat out copyright infringement but some of them....oh yes she can work with that.




*Ozpin sits at his desk doing paperwork*

Pop

Ozpin: what was that?

Pop

Ozpin: I may need to call maintenance, sounds like there's something wrong.

*Cut to two hours later and a inspection of his office by maintenance*

Maintenance: everything is in order sir.

Ozpin: thank you.

*Maintenance leaves*

Pop

Ozpin: Damn it!

Pop

Ozpin: Where is this coming from?!

*A small Grimm frog sits outside right on the ledge by his window*

Frog: Pop

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ruby: "Sooo... Could you give us enhancements?"

Isabel: "Like what?"

Ruby: "Like, make me even cuter?"

Isabel: "I ensured Adrian would be the cutest little baby ever. So yes, very easily!"

Ruby: "Really?!"

Yang: "Any... other enhancements?"

Weiss: "Yes, Any others?"

Isabel: "All the ones your'e thinking of."

Ruby: "So... Like our boobs and stuff?"

Isabel: "Yes. And many for Faunus."

Blake: "Oh?"

Isabel: "Yes. Katy Sith has a tail, after all! Which makes her super-Faunusly adorable! She is finally... A complete catgirl!"

Blake: shiny eyes

Pyrrha: "Even me?"

Isabel: "I mean I don't know what you or Yang need but if you need some, I can certainly provide them... But only if you join the Arc family."

Silence.

Jaune: "By adoption, right?"

Isabel: "What, are you stupid?! I've had eight kids, I'm not adopting a bunch of legal aged women! They'll have to marry in!"

As Jaune feels the ravenous eyes of several women on him...

Jaune: "... This is all a twisted plan to get me to go back to med school, isn't it?!"

Isabel: "Well how else are you supposed to support a harem and dozens of grandchildren?!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ruby approached Jaune as he strummed his guitar. "Hey, Jaune?" she asked softly.

"Hm?" he responded, glancing up.

"Am I... a bad leader?" Ruby's voice wavered.

Jaune's fingers froze on the strings, the music cutting off abruptly. "Witch's tits, what could possibly give you that fool notion!?" he exclaimed. After a brief pause, he softened. "Ah, please pardon my Vacuan, Ruby."

Ruby fidgeted, her gaze dropping. "W-Well... I have to yell, beg, scream, and sometimes even blackmail my team into doing anything when we're not in a fight. Even then, they barely pay attention to me and... and well... tonight we had a fight and... and Weiss just said... um... said that outside of that... we just all do our own things." Her head bowed lower. "And... well... Blake and Weiss... they... they barely get along even after the White Fang and... I just... I don't feel like I'm a good leader."

Jaune listened quietly before speaking. "Listen. My first cattle drive? I didn't do nothing right. I actually shot myself once. That's how bad I was." He leaned forward. "But at the end of the day... your team is alive. You got yer issues, but at least you can talk about 'em. You can't do anything but take it one day at a time."

He continued, his tone steady. "I once asked Mister Duke about something. At the end of the day, if no one's dead and you can live to work another day?
That was a good day. Cause sometimes you don't have good days."

Ruby stared at the ground, dejected. "But that can't be everything. What about friendship?" she murmured. "I thought Weiss and Blake were my friends."

Jaune nodded. "They are. But friends are bastards to each other sometimes. Again, pardon my Vacuan. You remember Miguel, right? First time we met, we got in a fight cause he thought I was making fun of his mama. He pulled a knife on me." He chuckled softly. "Point is... you're gonna have high points and low points with the people you care about. The high points are why you keep fighting on. Even through the low points."

He added, "Also, sometimes you gotta slap some sense into 'em."

Ruby looked up, curious. "So... how would you handle things?"

Jaune hesitated. "I ain't sure you wanna know how I'd handle things... I ain't had to do that with my team—"

"Please?" Ruby pressed.

He sighed. "Well... I'd spank all three of them... though in Miss Belladonna's case, I expect she'd enjoy it."

Ruby smirked.

"I think they all would."

Jaune looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"You too, Miss Rose?"

Ruby flushed deeply, and scowled.

"Well what if I did, huh?!"

"I ain't gettin' into that, no sir," Jaune muttered, going back to playing his guitar.

 

[RedReaper]

The Doctor and The Rusted Knight

---

"Death to the Space-Between. Death to the Time-Above. Death to That-Which-Stands-Below." A set of voices whispered around Jaune, as if manifested in the air itself. Considering no one was around, it probably was. All the Arc boy knew was that it came after a dull wheezing noise, like a set of dying lungs.

The teen drew Crocea Mors, The Yellow Death, slowly stalking forward to the source of the dull wheezing. The Huntsman in training turned the corner, and saw what generated the noise.

It was a…box? A deep blue box, with the wood "Police" on its sides. The strangest thing wasn't the box, though. It was the fact it was in the middle of Beacon's courtyard. The courtyard that hadn't had a weird "police box" (what on Remnant even is a police box?) not even hours ago.

"Hello?" Jaune inquired to the world as he went to investigate.

He didn't get much of a chance—A fair skinned man in a blue suit, brown trench coat, and sporting really good auburn hair (Jaune was allowed to think that, he was his sisters' hair stylist back in Radian)—Crashed out of it with a bewildered expression.

"Oh, that's just brilliant! And not the good kind! You were supposed to bring me and the creature to Earth, in 1942!" He bemoaned at the police box, not having noticed Jaune at all.

"What is…Earth?" The Arc asked as he watched the man climb back onto his feet and rapidly turn around.

"A planet. The best planet. Also the home of the pocket dimension creating device I left for one country's secret government to hold criminals. Like the ones I was carrying."

"A bit small to carry a criminal, don't you think?" Jaune pointed out as he motioned his sword towards the box

"Oh, no. It's bigger on the inside."

"'Bigger on the inside?'" The Arc echoed.

"The box. Outside it's all small and box-like, inside it's all big."

"Okay. I can roll with that. Semblances are weird and can make anything possible, so whatever. Except the fact you're talking about other planets."

"Oh, yeah. What is this planet?" The mysterious man asked as he put his hand in his pockets, strolling in a circle.

"Remnant."

"Oooh. Spooky name for a planet. I like that. I like that a lot." Jaune watched him sound out the name and wave his hands around a bit, as if testing the phonics of 'Remnant' with the world itself.

"Okay—Say I believe you. Would the criminal be weirdly whisper chanting about Death and Space-Betweens, Time-Aboves, and That-Which-Stands-Below?"

"Ooooh. That's bad. That means it's already hit phase two. Must be magic in the air."

"Magic?"

"Yes, keep up—Magic. Explains why my tongue felt all weird when I hit your atmosphere. I could taste all the weird. Give the planet a bit and it'll adjust, remember physics and whatnot."

"'Remember physics?'" Sighing, he pointed his sword at the mystery man. "This is getting me nowhere. Tell me who you are, what the box is, and what you're about." Jaune wasn't the best or even worst trained—He was totally untrained. But he assumed that a person would be less prone to trying anything with a sword in their face

He was wrong. The mystery man pushed the tip of Crocea Mors down, humming. "You could just ask without the sword. We both know you're not gonna use it."

"And what would you know about me?"

"You're a kind boy. Smart boy. Asks questions, has an open mind, and if you really were just a senseless killer, you would've impaled me already. No, no. You've got sense." The man in the trenchcoat grabbed Jaune by the face, opening his mouth.

"Wha-ar-u-do-ing?" ("What are you doing?") Jaune asked in confusion.

"Inspecting your teeth. You can tell a lot about a man by the amount of care he puts in his teeth. And I'd say yours are pretty good. Spectacular, actually. So good you could get trapped in a temporal hell hole for twenty years without performing any dental hygiene and they'll stay flawless." Closing Jaune's jaw, he forced his head up. "Some humans have all the luck. Let's see here—Good throat. One heart. That's good—Things with two hearts are often pretty deadly."

The Arc Lad just raised a brow.

"Don't ask."

Jaune left it be and let the stranger finish his checkup. Then he poked at Jaune.

"What are you doing now?"

"Poking your Soul."

"Poking my what?"

"Your Soul. You've got it layered around you like a forcefield. Pretty clever. Did you make this?"

Jaune chuckled. "No, I'm not nearly smart enough to do that. This is pretty normal, here."

"Is it?"

"Sort of." Giving a "50-50" gesture.

"Interesting. Very interesting." Stopping his poking, he turned around to go back into the box.

"Uh. You never told me your name."

"You never asked."

"No, I definitely did—"

"No, you pointed a sword at me and told me to tell you. That's not asking, that's poor manners." The man said matter of factly as he stopped to turn back to Jaune.

The boy winced. "Please don't tell my mom. Or my nana."

"I won't. For now."

"So, uh. Your name?"

"I've been called many things, but for your sake, just call me The Doctor."

 

[SharkCultist]

Had a sad idea.


After the fall of Beacon Jaune Arc disappeared. Nobody knew where he disappeared to. Except his mother.

Whenever Jaune would get scared or upset he'd always go to his grandfather's old workshop.

It's been years since anyone had stopped by. Moss was starting to crawl up the sides of the old stone shack and a thin layer of dust covered almost everything.

The only things not covered in dust being a bronze shield and spear sitting on the floor next to Jaune Arc who sat huddled in the corner with cracks covering his skin that had light leaking from them.

"Oh Jaune."

It was a heartbreaking sight for a mother who tried to spare him this pain.

"Mom?"

His eyes are unfocused. There's swirls of green in them that keep almost fading before swirling back into form.

"I'm here Jaune. It'll be ok."

She hugs him. She wants to take away his pain so badly. But she's going to have to hurt him more.

"Jaune sweetie. You need to let her go."

Focus enters his eyes and as his awareness sharpens so to does his pain.

"I can't. It was too soon, it wasn't fair."

"Jaune. It's always too soon. But you're hurting yourself son. You need to let go."

He's quiet and she almost thinks he's drifting out of focus again.

"She loved me."

He looks at her with eyes almost a even split between blue and green.

"That was the last thing she ever told me."

Damn Ozpin and his schemes dragging her boy into this.

"You're killing yourself son. Would she want that?"

She knows he doesn't want to hear it. She knows it's tearing him apart.

But he lets her go.

Green drains from his eyes leaving only tear filled blue as Jaune lets everything out.

And as the light starts to fade from his skin and the cracks seal as he curls into himself and cries, for just a second the light looks like a lady in love giving one last hug.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Team RWBY was up early, and looked very unhappy as they staggered, like zombies, towards the training center.

Ruby: "Come on guys! We've barely done any group training all month!"

Blake: "I've been busy with White Fang!"

Yang: "Yeah, and I've had my own things going on."

Weiss: "We need to keep our grades up in this, Yang, Blake! Honestly, can't you take this seriously?"

Yang: "Says the girl who threatened to murder Ruby for waking her up with an airhorn."

Ruby: "Um, sorry?"

Weiss: dark look.

The four pass by a small courtyard garden... And pause. They see Jaune in the center of the courtyard, blindfolded, with earphones on. He was doing a handstand, and fidgeting only a little. He's also shirtless.

Weiss: "... What is that fool doing that for at this hour?"

Yang: "Giving a free show? Gotta say, it's a little avant garde but I like his hustle." ogles his muscles

Ruby: "Ew! Yang, gross!" bright red nevertheless

Blake: "I think it's some form of meditation or sensory training."

Blake approaches, enters the circle... Jaune mutters under his breath.

Weiss: "What's he babbling about?"

Blake: "... Books... Fish... Moonlight... Shadow...?"

Ren: "He's learning how to sense Auras."

Yang, Weiss, and Ruby jump. Blake merely raises an eyebrow as Ren steps out from behind a marble column.

Yang: "Geez! We need to put a bell on you, Zen Boy!"

Blake: scowls

Yang: "What?"

Weiss: "Aura Sensing? Isn't that a bit advanced for a dolt like him?"

Ren: "It is not easy for people to learn. But I've put him through a crash course and he's been doing fairly well. Helps with blind fighting, keeping track of your comrades in darkness, and in telling who is behind a door. After all, if Aura is the energy of the soul, parts of your soul will always radiate outwards if you don't learn how to control it."

Blake: "I see. That's how you always know I'm around."

Ren: "Among other reasons."

Ruby: "Wow... You're like a super ninja, Ren!"

Weiss: "Please! For all we know, he's just playing a prank on us and Arc!"

Ren: pulls out his scroll, turns it on "I've linked to the headset Jaune is wearing. Ruby, can you confirm it was not linked before?"

Ruby checks it over and nods.

Ruby: "Yeah, it just turned on."

Ren: "Jaune. You were muttering about what you were sensing before."

Jaune: "Oh! Sorry Ren!"

Ren: "No, no... I want you to say aloud what you are sensing." Hits mute "Blake, please approach Jaune again."

Blake walks back into the courtyard. Jaune grimaces.

Jaune: "Um... Aura in front of me... It feels like... Books... Moonlight... Shadow... Cats for some reason?"

Blake, Ruby, Yang and Weiss all gape in disbelief. Ren smiles softly.

Ren: "Good. Hang on." Mutes it again "Yang? If you would approach him? Any angle you wish."

Yang: "All right..." She walks around the small courtyard and then walks in behind Jaune, then moves to the right at random.

Ren: "Jaune?"

Jaune: "Warmth... Fun... Fire... Fury... Motorcycles for some reason... And... Motherliness?"

Yang gapes and flushes. Weiss scoffs.

Weiss: "This is ridiculous..." She leaps up and stands on a pillar above Jaune, and leaps to a bench on the other side. "There. Too fast for him to pick up-"

Jaune: "Cold... White... Speed, grace... Hidden warmth...? Maybe? It was quick so I couldn't get a lot."

Weiss flushes. Ruby grins and super speeds in front of Jaune, then away.

Jaune: "I felt joy... Mischief... Silver too... And I smell rose petals... Not hard to guess who that was."

Ruby: "WOW!"

Jaune pulls off his blindfold and gets to his feet. He smiles in a friendly way at RWBY.

Jaune: "Hey! How'd I do, Ren?"

Ren: "Better, though your range is still limited. And you can only sense when you are calm and not moving."

Jaune: face falls "Oh..."

Ren: "But it is impressive you're getting the basics down so quickly."

Yang: "And looking good while doing it, Studly." Grins "Mind if I train with you? I'll even go shirtless too if you want~."

Jaune: bright red "Y-Yang!"

Weiss: "YANG! Must you be so-so you?!"

Yang: "I must! It's a heavy burden but someone's gotta heft all this awesome hotness around!"

Weiss: "You would say that, you top heavy bimbo!"

Blake: "I would also be interested in training, Ren. My mother tried to teach me Aura sensing but I never got past the basics."

Ren: nods "I would be glad to."

Ruby: "ME TOO! Oh, it sounds so cool!"

Yang: "And all the shirtless Jaune we could want!"

Ruby: "YAAAANGGGG!"

- - -

The teams sharing some training techniques and concepts could be fun. Also, Ren learning how to become a teacher might be a very interesting character direction for him. Especially since I headcanon him learning his arts from a monastery that took them in. Nora meanwhile learned how to fight from the Norse-like berserker/blacksmith in the village near the monastery.

 

[SharkCultist]

Today was not team RWBYs day.

The school was out of hot water (Nora thought she could make the showers warmer faster using fire dust) , they had a double period with Port, and all the good stuff got taken at lunch before they got there so they got stuck with the brussel sprout soup and sardine and pineapple sandwiches (ports favorites that he insisted be part of the menu).

So to try to blow off a little steam the girls decided to take a trip down to the emerald Forrest and spend a bit of time mauling the Grimm.

Unfortunately someone else was already here.

He was BIG easily the tallest man they had ever seen and his frame was packed with muscle. He had a bald head and dark skin, and for some reason was standing on his tiptoes.

Though that was nowhere near the oddest thing about him.

"Stop your squirming boy you ain't getting out of this!"

They watched this grown man in a butter yellow speedo pin a Grimm down.

"What the hell is he doing?!"

He apparently heard Weiss yelling because his head snapped to the young Huntresses.

"I'm getting revenge snowcone!"

He snaps the Grimms neck and pops back up onto his tiptoes.

"For hundreds of years the Grimm have fucked humanity. Well Magnus Manus is here to fuck the Grimm!"

The girls were visibly disturbed by this obviously crazy man.

"You're definitely gonna catch something wild."

"Nah baby the light of my soul will protect me from the filth of a Grimm hole."

Yang was seriously considering shooting this guy. The detention would definitely be worth it.

"Well it's been fun hun but I got a run!"

And without another word he squatted down and clenched his butt cheeks before rocketing forward past the tree line.


"....man fuck Wednesday."

"Yeah."

 

[RedReaper]

Time to introduce this thread to TWRC.

The Whiter Rose Chronicles

---

To be frank, Whitley hadn't anticipated the raven haired redhead…or her beauty…or her genius…at allagreeing to this date of theirs. Sure, he'd asked and a Schnee always got what he wanted, but something about this, about her,that made this feel…different.

A buzzing in his heart, an airy head, limbs that felt like clay she could easily pull apart…weakness, he realized. It was total, complete, and utter weakness. And yet for some reason, despite all sense he wanted more. More of it, more of her.

He'd been a man dying of thirst without knowing until she'd arrived, and now that he knew he couldn't help but want to slake his desires with her, to drink up her endless warmth, her smile, and her love. It was simple. Ruby Rose had ruined him.

In a good way.

And he hated it. Hated how much he felt her pull on stringshe never thought he had before, hated how much his stomach coiled as it awaited every reply, and hated how much he let her do this to him. An insult to living. To being a Schnee.

Yet he let it happen anyway. Because of course he would when weakness felt this good. Of course, today would be different. He needed to put a good step forward, to make a good first impression, and he couldn't do that with this…weakness plaguing his soul.

Sighing in exasperation of his own self, he channeled every fiber of his training. To speak clearly and concisely. To stand tall and firm (despite his less than stellar height). To cut out his own heart.

It was woefully easy, at this point. An incision here, a snip there, and he was rid of paltry emotion. At least until he forced it back inside himself.

Knocking on the door, he held out a bouquet of Roses—All different kinds. White, Black, Yellows, Reds, even Blues and Magentas. It was a beautiful mixture of Vale, Vacuo, Atlas, and Mistral, speaking to life, love, (it's death and rebirth—Essentially, it's eternity), the enjoyment of each other and the Sun together, and more. (Flowers had a language and he'd speak it fluently if he could help it.)

The door opened, and the goddess opened the door slowly and shyly, in a black and red dress that fit her quite nicely. It revealed how shapely she was beneath her corset, how her…developing features, and yet was modest and elegant in how it still centered on her youthfulness. Innocence. Ruby's face was crimson, and Whitley smiled, channeling every inch of his father's countenance when he courted Willow Schnee.

"You're breathtaking, Ruby."

The girl slammed the door in his face.

Whitley…well, he stared at the door, confused. He couldn't make out what was being said on the other side, but it was quite loud and heated. Eventually, the door opened again, and the Older Goddess (Yang), opened the door instead.

"Uh, sorry about that. My sister's a bit…shy, so she's feeling really nervous and uncertain about this." The blonde beauty commented earnestly as she rubbed the back of her neck.

The Schnee hummed. "I…see." Silence.

Why? Well, internally Whitley was stretched between his cool nature he'd forced upon himself and the panicking and dejected heart he'd torn out, moments earlier. So he did the only thing he could think of—Try to regain control. And how did he do that? Talking.

"I suppose you must be the Great Yang Xiao-Long." He started, proddingly.

"The one and only!" She replied proudly, flexing her arm. It was then Whitley took stock of her apparel, and—Wow.The dress was purple, going all the way down the legs instead of stopping at the knees like Ruby's, clearly having been fitted to accentuate her bombastic chest and prodigious hips. It lacked any shoulder covering, as well, but it frankly didn't matter, as the lion's mane she called hair did all the work for her.

Put simply, she was voluptuous.

"Yes, I've heard quite a bit about you." Whitley pressed on, noting it all without flicking for even a second glance.

"Oh?" Yang asked confidently, cocking her hips, putting a hand on her hair, and giving her voice a low, sultry tone as she leaned forward. All purposeful. All to make his blood race. He'd seen it all before, though. From less gorgeous women, true, but the act was the same. Down to even playing with her marvelous hair. "And what have you heard?"

Whitley didn't even move his eyes from her own. "How much Ruby adores you. You're like the Sun to her. She praises your strength, confidence, intelligence, integrity, and even your beauty. She feels herself a…pale shadow, in comparison." He phrased carefully.

Yang's eyes narrowed. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying be careful. Ruby…she's sort of like me. She believes herself stuck in the shadow of another, and puts herself down for it." The teen admitted, softly as he looked away, towards the white tiled floor. "She doesn't deserve that when she's beyond peer. Frankly, I don't see how she could believe herself beneath someone like you."

And he meant it, truly meant it. Sure, Yang's body was voluptuous, but Ruby's was divine. Yang may have been confident, but Ruby's shyness was honest. Yang may have a better combat record, but Ruby was a prodigy. Yang may have been every man's literal dream, but Ruby was…pure.Yang was "perfect," and Ruby was simply better.

The Blonde Huntress-in-Training blinked at his honesty. "I—Well—Huh."

Whitley coughed and held the flowers back up. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you should perhaps invest in something that helps bolster her self-image."

Because he'd seen what a damaged self-image could do to a person. That same person walked around mindlessly, drunk endlessly, and abandoned him entirely to the depths of a bottle when he was eight years old. He didn't want something like that to happen to someone as wonderful as Ruby Rose.

"And please, give these to Ruby."

As the Schnee went to turn away, however, Yang's arm bolted forward, like a viper, gripping his arm. "No."

"No?" Whitley echoed, confused.

"Because you're going to give them to her." Then Yang opened the door, and pulled the two of them into Team RWBY's room.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

When Yang caught wind that her great-great-so on grandmother was on her way, a wild, desperate scheme sparked in her mind to shake the old woman off her trail. After all, she was of marriageable age and Ruby wasn't. While her grandmother had never been the closest with Tai, she'd started to get more involved now that they were grown. Some BS in Mistral had kept her from them, apparently. With all the civil wars that went on there, she supposed it was at least a reason. Better than Raven's had been.

Normally, Yang would be fine with telling the old bag off, and punching her in the face.

Which she had done. Then Granny had kicked her ass in two moves, sent her sprawling on the lawn in front of their house... And then offered to teach her how to fight just like that-But better.

Granny had then called Raven a deadbeat and disappointment, and Summer wonderful, and well… Yang was willing to at least respect her. Or at least try to avoid another asskicking.

(And naturally, Ruby loved that their grandmother was a kung fu master like out of their-ahem, her Mistralian animes).

The one issue they'd had was that Granny had asked about her love life. An issue she pestered her about ever since, many times.

Hence? She needed a boyfriend.

So, she went with her first choice of potential boyfriend who might get her Granny off her case.

She spun toward Ren with a grin that was half plea, half mischief.

"Hey, Ren? Mind posing as my boyfriend—?"

But before she could finish, Nora loomed up like a storm cloud, hissing through her teeth and hefting her hammer with a glare that could crack stone. Yang threw her hands up and backed off fast.

Ren gave her a wry look. One that said "Didn't think this through, huh?"

Point taken.

"Ahem… right. Never mind."

She sighed as she walked out into the courtyard of Beacon. Ren she had thought could just play along for a bit. It wouldn't get… Complicated. Not with…

"Hey Yang!"

She looked over. Jaune was there with a smile. She smiled back, a slight blush coming to her cheeks. She still wasn't quite sure how to handle things with him after that job with his uncle, but… Well…

"Something wrong?" He asked, eyes immediately filled with concern. It made her feel a bit gooey inside. She smiled warmly.

Hell. She liked him. She could admit it to herself. And dammit, she was not letting Blake get away with her 'fake fiance' crap anymore! Not when she was a lot more fun!

"Hey, Jaune!" she started, sauntering over, but then her eyes ballooned wide—Granny was closing in like a hawk. She was short, wrinkled, gray haired, hunched over, and using a wooden staff as a cane… Yet she still carried a menace that set the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end.

"Oh crap," she muttered.

Something Jaune was oblivious to as Yang ran up to him. She hugged him tightly.

"Y-Yang? What are you-?"

"Just play along, okay?" she hissed.

Jaune blinked, baffled.

"Play wha—?"

She didn't let him finish. Yang grabbed him and planted a kiss so fierce it could've knocked the soul out of him, then shoved his hands square against her chest for good measure. Despite his shock, he kissed back-Just as good as before. And his hands… Ooh! Okay, so he definitely missing his calling as a doctor!

"Mwah! O-Oh! Hey, Granny!" she chirped, stepping back with a grin that was all teeth.

Jaune, red-faced and reeling, managed a dazed, "Hwah?"

"Have you met my boyfriend, Jaune Arc?" Yang pressed, slinging an arm around him like it was rehearsed.

"Huh?!" Jaune squeaked, still catching up. She elbowed him, and he automatically wrapped an arm around her waist.

Granny's eyes narrowed to slits as she trooped up. She hopped up onto her staff, balancing perfectly despite her age and small stature to glare right into Jaune's eyes.

"ARC!? You related to that stupid cow, Arturia?"

"Um… Y-Yes?" Jaune stammered. "She's my great-grandma?"

"HMPH! Bitch fought me in the Great War!" Granny Xiao-Long growled. "Good fighter! Annoying! Let me live!"

She scowled harder.

"Sanctimonious and annoying! No taste for actual cuisine! All about burgers!"

"Well, um, my Papa does make really good burgers," Jaune said, even as Granny Xiao-Long glared harder. "Or-Or not?"

"Mortal enemies of Xiao-Long Clan!" Granny growled.

Yang's stomach dropped.

Oh shit.

"But Granny! I love him!" she blurted, yanking Jaune into a hug that teetered on a chokehold. "Can't we work all of this out? You know, f-for peace? If we get a piece of eachother?" Yang offered with a cheesy grin.

"And he loves me…" She glanced at him desperately, " Right ?"

"URK! Y-Yes! With all my heart!" Jaune wheezed, flailing in her grip. Jaune's eyes bugged out as his face went bright red. She loosened up a bit-It wouldn't do for him to pass out now.

Granny snorted.

"Hmph. Bad liar. That good. Keep working him, Yang."

Relief flooded Yang like a cool wave.

"Will do!" She said happily, saluting as she let Jaune go.

Jaune, indignant, sputtered, "What?! I'm not a liar!"

Granny reached out and patted his cheek like he was a dim puppy.

"Yes yes, you not liar. Just dumb. Just like my great-great-grandson. You no love her!"

She sighed, shaking her head, and Jaune's scowl deepened.

"I would literally die for Yang before I ever broke her heart! Or abandoned her!" he shot back, puffing up.

Yang's cheeks flared red.

Geez… He's overdoing it a little… Not that I mind…!

Granny arched a brow.

"Oh? You want die for girl you know for a year? You want make my granddaughter a widow!? You want my great-grandbabies to grow up fatherless!? You not dumb, you stupid! Idiot! Suicidal!" She got another cane and whacked him over the head.

"OW! W-Well, no!" Jaune backpedaled. "I wouldn't die if I could avoid it! But I mean… Okay… I'd protect her and our family with my life!"

"Better!" Granny barked. "What you do if you get her pregnant? You take responsibility?"

He took Yang's hand, and looked Granny Xiao-Long right in the eyes.

"Yes! I absolutely would!" Jaune said, all earnest fire. He tightened his grip around Yang's hand, as though to hold on harder.

Yang's blush deepened.

"Ah, Jaune, uh—"

"Good!" Granny cut in. "You have permission to court my granddaughter! Good catch, Yang.
You start making babies."

"Er… Thanks, Granny!" Yang managed. "We'll get right on that… after graduation?"

Granny sighed, annoyed.

"If you must. When I your age, was having plenty of babies!"

"Well, it's different now," Yang emphasized, "I wanna be a Huntress and have adventures!"

"Pfft! Had plenty of adventures while pregnant!" Granny Xiao-Long scoffed. "Gave birth in battle! Killed enemy soldier! Made sling for baby out of enemy uniform! You kids have it easy nowadays!"

"Uh, um…" Yang managed, not sure what to say to that. Granny sighed.

"That said, good to know you thinking about it! Don't wanna end up forty! Living with cats! All alone, no family visit! And Arcs, at least, have lotta babies! Very virile!"

Again, Yang blushed deeply.

Jaune, still dazed, mumbled, "Uh… Thanks, Mrs. Xiao-Long… I-I'll take care of her."

"You better!" Granny snapped. "Or I come back and rip penis off!"

Jaune gulped loudly.

When Granny finally shuffled off into the main hall of Beacon, grumbling under her breath about Arturia some more, Jaune rounded on Yang with wide-eyes.

"Yang? … What did you do?"

She grinned, sheepish.

"…So, I guess we're dating now?"

"You couldn't have warned me?!" he yelped.

"It worked out!" she shot back, all breezy confidence.

"Well, now we have to get married and have kids or she'll castrate me!"

"She was just exaggerating!" Yang laughed, then paused. "…I think."

Jaune's voice hit a pitch she didn't know he could.

"SHE DID NOT LOOK LIKE SHE WAS EXAGGERATING!"

Yang sighed.

"Would you feel better if we kissed for a while?"

Jaune blushed, considered, clearly remembering their last kissing session.

"... Maybe?!"


Naturally, Granny Xiao-Long is based on Granny Cologne from Ranma ½. And her great-great-grandaughter Shampoo might show up as well.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ruby was practically bouncing off the walls with joy as she walked down the hallway, her enthusiasm a stark contrast to Jaune, who trudged along beside her.

"Come on Jaune! Isn't this exciting?! Our first leadership class!" Ruby exclaimed, her voice brimming with excitement.

Jaune sighed.

"I know... Sorry Ruby, but given how hard everything else is? I'm not feeling the enthusiasm."

Ruby tilted her head, undeterred. "Aw, come on Jaune! This is awesome! We're our team leaders! And yeah, you kind of suck at, well, a lot of stuff-"

"Thanks," Jaune deadpanned. Ruby winced and then continued.

"-But you're good at leadership! Come on! Be happy! For me?" She let loose her puppy dog eyes.

Jaune let out another sigh and then shrugged.

"I'll try."

"YAY!" Ruby beamed, and Jaune couldn't help a little smile at that.

They reached the classroom where Professor Ozpin awaited them. Cardin, already inside, winced upon seeing Jaune, who scowled back. With a sigh, Cardin gestured to two seats beside him. Ruby blinked.

"Eh? Hey, what's your deal?"

"I'm trying to be nice, pipsqueak. You got a problem with that?" Cardin replied gruffly.

Ruby shook her head and shrugged.

"No! I guess? And I'm not a pipsqueak! I'm drinking my milk!"

"Thanks Cardin," Jaune offered quietly, as they took their seats.

Ozpin looked around gravely before he addressed the room.

"Good of you all to join us. Simin Magister, as the leader of team SLVR and one of our senior teacher's assistants, I leave the rest to you. I have other matters to attend to."

Why'd he bother to come if that's all he was going to say? Almost everyone thought.

With that, he exited, and a handsome young man with dark red hair, tanned skin, and a long gray jacket stepped forward, smiling warmly.

"It's great to see so many new faces," Simin began. "Now, leadership of a team is more than just keeping it together in the field and fighting. There's a lot of hard work off the field too."

Ruby perked up immediately.

"Ooh! Ooh! Like training?"

Simin nodded.

"That is also important... But more important? Is paperwork."

Ruby's jaw dropped.

"Paperwork?!" She gasped.

Simin smiled in nostalgia.

"Yep! As team leaders you must account for your team's stores of supplies, types of supplies, finances, training room time, medical condition, and many other things! You must also demonstrate your ability to write mission reports and convey information properly that other Huntsmen, the police, the military and other organizations use when it comes to Grimm, the ground of your missions, and damages you cause or others inflict."

Ruby faltered, but quickly rallied with a smile.

"Well... Um... I-I'm sure it can't be that bad to start, right?"

Simin beamed, his teeth shining like knives.

"That's the spirit!"

Moments later, Simin dumped several large stacks of paperwork onto the leaders' desks. Ruby gaped.

"Wait, actual paperwork?!" She cried.

Simin grinned.

"It's so you can get used to the digital stuff later. Trust me, it will be a breeze after this!"

Ruby slumped, her face slamming into the stack with a moan. Jaune chuckled and patted her on the shoulder.

"Living the dream, huh?" Jaune asked.

Ruby moaned louder.

Hours passed, and Cardin grumbled as he filled out another sheet.

"Geez... I thought helping dad with his campaign finances was bad..." Next to him, Ruby, her eyes spinning, cried out in despair.

"Wha... What's an index?! WHAT'S A LEDGER?! WHAT IS ALL THIS?!" She slammed her face into the stack again and moaned, then glanced to her right at Jaune.

"Jaune? You okay there budd-?"

To her shock, Jaune was already up, handing his completed paperwork to Simin.

"Wha-He's already done?!" Ruby stammered. Cardin's jaw dropped.

"No way... It can't all be done properly-!"

Simin flipped through the stack before nodding in approval.

"Very good, Mister Arc! Everything checks out! You can relax until everyone else is done."

Jaune smiled, "Thanks, Mister Magister!" and returned to sit beside Ruby. He then looked over at her and Cardin, who both stared at him in utter disbelief.

"What?" Jaune asked innocently.

"Wha-How did you get all that done so fast and correctly?!" Ruby demanded.

Jaune shrugged, looking a bit proud.

"Well, I had to help my mom with paperwork at the hospital, help my dad with paperwork at the militia, help my sisters with paperwork for various reasons, did some accounting for my great-grandpa's restaurant..." He shrugged, "In comparison, this isn't too hard! Plus, Nora has to ask me for more money for Dust and she has to get the proportions just right, so she's pretty good at keeping track of things. Pyrrha buys most of her own stuff but she still reports it to me, and Ren is very good at math too. So, we're pretty set."

Ruby's soul seemed to droop and drag her down with it at every word.

"Oh… Oh…"

Jaune smiled and patted her shoulder encouragingly.

"I'm sure you can get it too, Ruby! I mean, Weiss is rich: She must know something about business? And Yang was like your mom so she has to know finances? And Blake... Um..."

Ruby nodded weakly, "Y-Yeah... I'm sure they'll be fine... Totally fine...!"

Cardin spoke up at last, his face very serious.

"Jauney-boy? I take back every bad thing I ever said about you. Mind helping me out? My team will train with yours... I'll carry your books? Set you up with my hot sister?!"

Coco Adel leaned over from the desk behind them, adjusting her glasses with an eager grin.

"Like hell he will! Arc, you help me out and I'll let you take Bun-Bun on a date! And I'll make sure she's extra sexy for you!" Jaune laughed a bit nervously and held his hands up.

"It's just paperwork, guys. Don't be so melodramatic. But! I will help you all out... If!"

"I get Weiss to go out with you?!" Ruby guessed eagerly.

Jaune flustered.

"What?! No! I want to do that myself! I know I'm wearing her down!"

"Ummm," Ruby coughed, "Er, well…"

"Should have offered her your sister, she's much hotter," Coco suggested.

"Look," Jaune interrupted, "I'll just ask that we all be friends. And I get some help with the stuff I'm not good at when it comes to Hunting."

Coco smirked.

"So... Everything then?"

Jaune winced, and slowly nodded. There was a hint of pride in his eyes though.

"... Yeah... Except for this."

Coco hummed and then nodded.

"Sounds fair."

"Seriously, offering him your teammate?" Cardin muttered.

"What? She's got a thing for big, dumb galoots!," Coco countered, lowering her shades at Cardin, "Maybe if you weren't a racist on top of that, I'd have set you two up!"

Cardin blushed.

"I-I would never be interested in her! N-Never! I don't think she has pretty eyes either!"

Much staring. Cardin scowled.

"I didn't say that!"

Ruby hummed.

"Well... I guess it's nice to have more friends who are as awkward as us."

"I am not awkward," Cardin grumbled. Jaune chuckled.

"Yeah, see? We're socializing more already!"

Ruby beamed at her best friend.

"Yeah! I... I think this is gonna turn out just fine!"

And then the fight with the White Fang at the Wharves happened...

---

The next day, after Teams RWBY and JNPR had battled White Fang at the docks, Ruby looked like death warmed over in the Leadership classroom. Jaune also appeared tired but manageable. Cardin and Coco joined them, taking seats nearby. Cardin gave them a wry look.

"Geez, you look pretty bad, Pipsqueak."

Ruby moaned and slammed her face into her Scroll,

"So. Much. Paperwork... And Professor Goodwitch put it all on me! Jaune's not allowed to help!"

Jaune rubbed the back of his head.

"I mean... I did call the police before we went in, so I guess she let me off easy?"

Ruby groaned. Coco patted her shoulder with a consoling smile.

"There there. Hey, at the very least, you stopped some terrorists and didn't get expelled."

"I hate Blake so muuuuuch," Ruby moaned. She then winced. "Don't tell her I said that."

Cardin raised an eyebrow.

"What, she got a thing against Faunus or something? Weird given she is one."

Ruby jerked upright, staring in horror.

"Wait what?! You know-?!"

"Well duh. Her bow twitches. She's hiding her ears," Cardin stated flatly.

"Yeah, she really needs to get better about that," Coco observed, "And that bow is so last year."

Ruby looked between them in disbelief.

"But-But why haven't you-?!"

"What, she wants to hide who she is with a cheap accessory? I'm not gonna call her on it," Coco said with a shrug. Ruby looked over at Cardin.

"And why haven't you-?!"

"Bullied her?" Cardin coughed, "I mean... Um... I stopped doing that anyway and..."

"She would kick your ass," Jaune deadpanned. Cardin scowled.

"Hey! She'd kick your ass too!"

Jaune nodded, looking just the tiniest bit smug. "I know."

Simin arrived, stepped up to the front, and began the class.

"This time, we're going to introduce the concept of tactical planning," he announced. "Now, while you are in charge of four-person teams, there are Hunter operations that can require much larger groups. As well as operations where you cooperate with law enforcement or military forces. As a result, you need to learn how to manage not just your teams, but how to work with other kinds of forces. No one person can defeat every enemy all on their own: That is why we work together, and figuring out how to work together is critical to protecting people and not losing your team to injury or worse."

He avoided looking at Ruby, but she winced nonetheless. Simin continued.

"As such, I'm putting each of you into groups of four and will hand you a tactical scenario. You will come up with a battle plan and then present it to the class next time. Rose, Arc, Winchester, Adel, you're first."

The team leaders split into their groups. Jaune, Ruby, Cardin, and Coco were assigned an urban combat scenario where they had rescued a Person of Interest and were holding out in a warehouse dock area until a Bullhead could extract them.

"So we're defenders then? That's new," Cardin observed. Coco looked it over, humming thoughtfully,

"Right... We stop these guys from getting our hostage until our ride gets here. Okay, fixed defense it is."

Cardin frowned and leaned over the desk on his elbow.

"What, just hide behind crates and shoot?"

"It works just fine for my team!" Coco retorted, lowering her ever present sunglasses in irritation.

"Yeah, because you have a minigun!" Cardin snapped. Coco shrugged.

"So?"

Ruby looked discouraged, but Jaune smiled and elbowed her gently. He smiled warmly.

"Mobile defense would take the most advantage of all four of our teams," he suggested. "Pyrrha, Nora, Yang, Fox, Weiss, Russel, Dove and Ruby are all very mobile. We'd want to use that."

Ruby brightened, as Coco and Cardin both turned from their argument towards them. She knew what she had to do here: Support her bestie and fellow leader.

"Y-Yeah... Fox is held in support with his telepathy Semblance. I can zip around and keep fire on them as a skirmisher, with Weiss supporting me!"

Cardin frowned, his anger forgotten as he considered things. He then gave Ruby a snort.

"Yeah, but one hit and you're down, Pipsqueak." Ruby pouted.

"Nuh uh!"

"Not one hit, Ruby," Jaune clarified, "but you can't take as much punishment as a tank. Besides, you're better supporting Ren and Blake, who would do recon and skirmishing to stack up and harass the enemy force as they entered the area. Weiss could become more engaged as they got in further and provide obstacles to further stack them up, while also skirmishing with you."

Coco nodded, a smile growing on her face.

"Right. Nikos and Xiao-Long could give them more punch."

Jaune shook his head.

"Except Pyrrha and Yang are our overall strongest fighters. We'd want to hold them in reserve. We'd split our forces into two main groups: Fixed and Strike. Fixed would defend the Person of Interest and act as the main objective the attackers strive for. Strike would at first engage and harass the enemy to help the lure while reducing their strength while they head for their objective…" He pointed at the map of the warehouse area in the scenario,

"Then when they're fully engaged with Fixed, we bring in Pyrrha, Yang and Nora with the rest of Strike to counterattack. And Coco with Velvet? You can rain hell on them to take 'em out while Cardin, Yatsuhashi, and me keep them pinned"

Cardin hummed, looking it over and thinking it through.

"Hmm... Yatsuhashi, me, and Jaune as the heavy shield part of Fixed, with Shades here as fire support. It would work pretty well."

Coco grinned and shrugged.

"Well, you meat shields would definitely make my job easier. Still, Xiao-Long's not very patient." Ruby winced, feeling the urge to defend her sister… And then discarding it.

"Yeah, she has a tendency to be impulsive... Blake too," she grumbled.

"We might need to pair them with minders," Coco suggested, "Or, maybe keep Yang on the Fixed Team? Her Semblance gets more powerful the more she's hit."

Jaune and Ruby looked at eachother, and then at Cardin. He nodded back, and Jaune smiled.

"Could work, and between us we could keep her focused. Russel might be good support for Weiss since he's also Dust focused, but he's tougher than her."

Cardin chuckled, "He'll be happy you said that."

Ruby was already imagining prim and proper Weiss dealing with foul mouthed, hot blooded Russel. She fought down a giggle, and got her focus back on the task at hand.

"What about Sky? What's his semblance?"

Cardin sighed.

"... He can perfectly imitate anyone or anything's sound."

Ruby gaped, as did Coco. The little reaper was the first to speak.

"Wha-Seriously?"

"Yup," Cardin stated.

Ruby grinned.

"That's so cool!"

"Yeah, not so much after the first hundred times," Cardin muttered. Louder, he said, "But, we could use him in Strike as a distraction and harasser, and support for Belladonna and Ren."

Jaune nodded, pulling out a stylus to mark areas on the map.

"Right... Let's establish the engagement areas too. We'd need to make some open areas to maximize line of fire..."

"We could just go higher on these crates for line of fire!" Ruby grinned, then faltered in realization, "But that would expose us... Urgh..."

Coco pointed with a finely manicured nail and a smile at the map.

"Hence the mobile defense part. By the way, who does your nails?"

"Me! And not Yang! Totally not her, I do it myself!" Ruby insisted.

"I see," Coco hummed, and looked over at Jaune's hands, "And who did yours?"

"My sisters," Jaune stated flatly.

"Sisters? Plural?" Cardin asked, "How many?"

"Seven," Jaune sighed. Cardin winced.

"No wonder you uh… You were crazy enough to join this school."

"But with very nice cuticles," Coco complimented him.

"That will totally help fighting the Grimm," Jaune deadpanned.

"Sure they will! … What are cuticles anyway?" Ruby asked.

Simin smiled faintly as he watched Cardin, Jaune, Ruby, and Coco collaborate.

Perhaps there's hope for them yet, he thought.

Then Cardin slammed a hand down on the table.

"HEY! All I'm saying is that if the Person of Interest is a hot girl, I should get the kiss at the end!"

Coco laughed.

"HA! She happens to have actual taste! So she'd kiss me instead!"

Jaune groaned.

"How did we even get on this topic?!"

Ruby let out a weary groan.

"Why do we need kissing at all? I bet it's yucky!"

Simin chuckled to himself. He was only a few years older than these students, and yet, it felt very long ago.

"Ah, youth..."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Pyrrha was surprised, but pleasantly so, when her Aunt Erza arrived.

Pyrrha: "Aunt Erza!"

She pulled out her shield and sword to deflect and parry Erza's sword strikes.

Erza: "Excellent job, Pyrrha! You blocked the strikes just as I know you would!"

Pyrrha: beams "Thank you, Aunt Erza!"

Erza: "But you need to stay at the top of your game! After all, you are fighting for real now! No tournament rules!"

Pyrrha: nods "Yes Auntie!"

Erza: "Now, give me a hug."

Pyrrha does so.

Erza: "Hmm... You seem more confident. Happier."

Pyrrha: "Yes, well... Um... I got to fight a few great fighters... And um..." blush "I'm a bit closer to... Um..."

Erza: "Jaune Arc?"

Pyrrha: blush "Y-Yes... But um... Well..."

Erza: "Well? Well what?"

Pyrrha: sighs "Other girls have... Noticed him."

Erza: "And so you've defeated them and claimed him for your own?"

Pyrrha: bright red "Ummmm... W-Well, no..."

Erza: "Why not?! You can defeat all your rivals with ease!"

Pyrrha: "I don't think that will win his love."

Erza: "What, does he prefer the company men?"

Pyrrha: "NO! No! Not at all! He's definitely straight!"

Erza: "Then I shall deal with this!"

Pyrrha: "What? NO! Nonono-!"

Erza: "REQUIP! HEAVEN'S WHEEL ARMOR!"

Now in her flying armor, Erza flies off. She then seizes Jaune and flies back, dropping him in front of Pyrrha.

Jaune: "URK!"

Pyrrha: "JAUNE!"

Erza: "JAUNE ARC! YOU HAVE DISHONORED MY NIECE BY IGNORING HER FEELINGS!"

Jaune: "I-I have?!"

Pyrrha: "I uh..."

Jaune: "But-But I haven't ignored her feelings!"

Pyrrha: "You haven't?!"

Erza: "YES YOU HAVE! She loves you!"

Jaune: "Well yeah! I love her too!"

Pyrrha: "Y-You do?!"

Jaune: "Deeply. You're my friend and mentor! I care for you like my sisters! I would die for you in a heartbeat!"

Pyrrha: "I... I-I mean, that's... Um... I am glad... But um-"

Erza: "UGH! You fool! She loves you in the way of a woman does a man! A man she wants to marry and have his children!"

Pyrrha: "AUNTIE!"

Jaune: blinks "... Wait really?"

Pyrrha: "Um... W-Well... Uhh... I uh..."

Erza: "How could you not know she loved you and wanted to have your children?! That she wanted to do all manner of lewd and sexy things with you?!"

Pyrrha; "AUNTIIIIE!"

Erza: "What? You wrote me all about your fantasies! Incidentally, you need an editor."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

In the heart of Beacon Academy's sun-dappled courtyard, Velvet Scarlatina stood frozen, her bunny ears twitching in a cocktail of confusion and paralyzing shyness. Clambering over her like a tiny, relentless mountaineer was a small orange-haired girl in a fluffy white bunny onesie, her chubby hands patting Velvet's legs with gleeful determination.

"Someone help? Please?" Velvet squeaked, her voice barely above a whisper as she tried not to topple under the toddler's enthusiastic assault.

"Bunny," the little girl declared, her tone reverent as she nuzzled Velvet's knee.

The courtyard's usual bustle faded into the background as Cardin Winchester, red-faced and frantic, barreled onto the scene.

"Samantha Jay Winchester!" he bellowed, his voice cracking with exasperation. "You can't go wandering off here!"

"Bunny," Sam replied, undeterred, her tiny fingers clutching Velvet's skirt.

Cardin's eyes finally landed on Velvet, and his expression shifted to one of pure dread.

"Oh no."

Velvet's ears drooped, a flicker of hurt crossing her face.

"Ouch. I thought you were being nice now."

Cardin waved his hands, flustered.

"I didn't mean it like that! It's just Sam really likes bunnies."

"Bunny," Sam confirmed, now attempting to scale Velvet's arm.

Velvet's eyes narrowed, though her voice remained soft.

"Cardin. She's three."

"Four, actually," Cardin corrected, rubbing the back of his neck. "She's just small."

"She's four," Velvet repeated, her tone flat. "How big a problem can she be?"

Cardin's gaze darted nervously to Sam. He snatched a nearby stick and, with the caution of a man poking a sleeping Grimm, lightly prodded his sister. Sam's tiny hand shot out, seizing the stick and crushing it into splinters with a squeeze that belied her size.

Velvet's eyes widened, her voice catching. "What the f—"

"Four-year-old!" Cardin interjected, his face a mask of panic.

"—unnel cake?!" Velvet finished, her ears shooting upright.

Cardin groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "Dad awakened Mom's aura when she was pregnant with Sam, hoping it'd ease some of the pregnancy pains. Ended up awakening Sam's aura and making it so much worse."

"Bunny," Sam said, now snuggling into Velvet's side with alarming affection.

Velvet stood rigid, her voice a strained whisper.

"Cardin. Please get this child off me before she decides to hug me and pop me like a grape."

Cardin lunged forward, tugging gently at Sam's onesie, but the girl clung to Velvet like a koala. Velvet, desperate, tried to ease herself away, her movements careful but futile. Sam, growing impatient, gave a mighty yank, pulling both teenagers off balance. The collision was catastrophic—a clumsy headbutt that morphed into an accidental lip-lock, leaving Cardin and Velvet sprawled on the cobblestones, unconscious, blushing furiously, and pinned beneath a triumphant four-year-old.

Sam sat atop her conquest, her smug grin radiating victory. "Bunny."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ruby: "Being a leader is difficult. Clashing personalities, egos, mutually exclusive beliefs, historical grudges. It's all a powder keg waiting to explode, and it takes unerring vigilance to keep it together."



Jaune: "Uh, no? Ruby, I've had none of that. Are you okay?"



Cardin: "My team had some issues to start, but now we get along great together, I don't know what she's talking about."



Sun: "Yeah we're all brothers from another mother."



Coco: "We had some issues in our first month but we got over them really quick. You okay, little red?"



Ruby, denying that team RWBY is just a mess: "I'm sure you'll be eating your words when it all falls apart."



Cardin: "Uh huh. Sure we will. But hypothetically, if your team was stressing you out...?"



Ruby: "... How much trouble would I get into if I murdered one of them? Hypothetically?"



Jaune: pats her shoulder "A lot."



Ruby groans.



Ruby: "It's just that... Ya know..."



Coco: "Yes?"



Ruby: "Can someone explain to Blake that everything is NOT FUCKING RACIST!? WHY IS SHE ACTING LIKE SUCH A FUCKING MITTENS?!"



Ruby slaps her hands over her mouth, horrified. Everyone else is shocked... Save for Cinder Fall, another new transfer student leader.



Cinder: "Slurs from the pipsqueak, oh my."



Ruby loses her temper.



Ruby: "SHUT YOUR COCK WARMER, HARLOT! SLUT! WOMAN OF THE NIGHT!"



Jaune is now hugging Ruby, though it looks more like he's holding her back.



Jaune: "Ruby it's okay, I'm sure Cinder was just-"



Ruby: "IF I HEAR 'That's oppressive towards indigenous Faunus peoples' ONE MORE TIME! I'M COMMITTING A FUCKING HATE CRIME!"



Cardin: "Wow. So that's what it's like from this side."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Coco: "I have to ask, why are your teams such troublemakers?"



Ruby groans something that sounds like "Blake, Weiss and Yang."



Coco laughs "Save that for senior year!"



Cardin: "Even we didn't get into a fight with terrorists and gangsters... Though Russel did get in a street motorcycle race."



Jaune: "Did you win?"



Cardin: "Of course we won! Though the sidepiece of the guy running the races wanted Dove, Dove wasn't interested, so she said he hit on her and we had to fight his goons... Wasn't much of a fight, just smashed a motorcycle and they got the idea that fighting us was a bad idea."



Ruby: "Seriously?! Why can't White Fang be that sensible?! WE'RE HUNTRESSES! WE HAVE AURA! We're going to beat you up! Just surrender!"



Cardin: "Why can't fanatical extremists be reasonable? I wonder that too, pipsqueak."



Ruby: "Thanks, I-HEY!"



Coco: "He has a point, Ruby."



Jaune: "Though I really hope they can be reasonable one day, too. Nora punting one of them between the legs was more than enough for me."



Every guy shudders.



Ruby: scowls at Jaune "Why do you keep getting away with fighting alongside us, anyway?!"



Jaune: "I call the police before we get into these things?"



Ruby: "Wha-You do?!"



Jaune: "Yeah, and send an alert to Professor Goodwitch that we got caught in a melee."



Ruby: "... Why the hell didn't we bring YOU GUYS instead of Sun and Neptune?! Those guys were USELESS!"



Sun: "Hey! I did fight!"



Ruby: "You got taken out in ONE HIT! And Neptune ran off the moment things got serious! You're both useless! From now on, Jaune, you're coming with us!"



Jaune: "On your illegal vigilante activities? ... Okay, sure."



Cardin: "Wait, really?"



Jaune: "Yeah. In Radian we don't have cops, just a militia. So I sometimes went on possess to bring in fugitives or help take out Grimm. I wasn't allowed to fight, just support, but I learned a lot."



Ruby: "... Why did your parents not unlock your Aura?"



Jaune: "Um... They wanted me to be a doctor."



Cardin: "Wait wait wait... You didn't have your Aura unlocked... When?"



Jaune: "Um... When I came to Beacon?"



Coco: "And you got unlocked... When?"



Jaune: "Initiation?"



Cardin: "And... You figured out how to use it in... What... An hour?"



Jaune: "Well yeah, but... That's really hard, right?"



Cardin: "... Holy fuck dude, you're just ridiculous."



Coco: "Geez..."



Ruby: "IT'S NOT FAIR! You're like those harem having guys in Blake's terrible Mistral manga!"



Jaune: "What? What?!"



Thankfully they are interrupted by Arslan, leader of team ABRN.



Arslan: "Jaune Arc... Are you by chance the son of Nicholas Arc, the Radiant Paladin?"



Jaune: "Er... Yeah?"



Arslan: deep breath... Represses squeal "Ahem... He is in fact one of my childhood heroes... Do-Do you think I could meet him?"



Jaune: "Um, sure?"



Arslan: "Wonderful!" She hugs him, kisses his cheek and heads off. Ruby scowls at him.



Jaune: "Um... What?"



Ruby: "And your dad's a super hero?!"



Jaune: "Your dad was a super hero too! Basically!"



Ruby: "Yeah but it's just like, totally unfair!" scowls



Jaune: "Ruby, come on. You can still kick my butt, you know this!"



Ruby: "Yeah..."



Jaune: "And we're best friends, right?"



Ruby: "Yeah..."



Jaune: Hugs her "So don't feel down about anything, okay?"



Ruby: smiles "... You know, just for that? I'm setting you up with my sister."



Jaune: "Er... Thanks? I think?"



Ruby: "Well if I don't, she'll just end up some lonely biker lesbian with an apartment full of cats."



Coco: "That's cruel."



Ruby: "You've never seen her flirt. Like she'll be all flirty seductive and then she gets shy and runs off or punches the guy! It's kind of hilarious! But honestly, she had to look after me and basically raise me. So she couldn't really... Well... Get any closer. But if you date her, it'll be fine!"



Cardin: "You make her sound like a single mom."



Ruby: "Yeah, and? Jaune, don't you like MILFs?" Jaune: blush "How did you-HOW do you know that word?!"



Ruby: "I'm Sixteen, not six! And anyway, if you make her happy, I'll marry you next!"



Jaune: "Huh?!" Ruby: "That's how it worked with our moms and dad!"



Coco: "Oh, All Team Taiyang Xiao-Long? Yeah, I heard about him!"



Cardin: "There were only two girls on his team though!" Coco: chuckles "Yeah, and?"



Cardin: "... Ugh."



Coco: "Don't knock it, buddy!"



Cardin: "I'll knock it all I like! Though uh... I hope your dad and uncle are happy together?"



Ruby: "Thanks! They are!"



Coco: "How happy?"



Jaune: "COCO!"



Coco: "This is the gossip Dust mine! I can't stop at just ONE!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Pyrrha: "Jaune? Arslan?"



Jaune: "Oh hey Pyrrha! Arslan's just showing me some Tablebreaker techniques for dealing with muscle strain!"



Arslan: "As well as other aches and pains."



Arslan is sitting in front of Jaune. He is putting his hands all over her back and sides.



Jaune: "How am I doing?"



Arslan: *purrs happily* "Very niiiiice~."



Pyrrha: "W-Well um... I have some techniques as well, Jaune! From my training!"



Jaune: "Really? I'd love to learn those too!"



Arslan: *raised eyebrow* "Really? Why don't you demonstrate them with me first, Pyrrha? I am the expert after all. It would be instructive for Jaune to watch."



Pyrrha: *bright red* "I don't... You...!"



Jaune: *brightly* "Sure! I do want to improve my skills!"



Arslan: "Though perhaps we should take it slow. While Pyrrha certainly dominated our fights, her mastery of certain esoteric skills is a bit lacking in some areas."



Pyrrha: *scary smile* "I'm sure I can handle anything you can dish out."



Arslan: *similarly scary smile* "I believe that's up to Jaune to decide, don't you?"



Jaune's Brain: Geez did it get tense all of a sudden... Wonder why?



Arslan may be a nun and a good person... But she is still mortal and VERY competitive.

 

[SharkCultist]

Instead of tired burnt out oz we have one who's still very gung ho about being a teacher. Unfortunately for his students all his soul fusions have made him a bit unbalanced and very intense.

On top of the fact that he keeps forgetting that modern remnant people are literally built different from his time. They're much softer.

And even more unfortunately for the students. Oz gets results so he's not getting fired anytime soon (and frankly he scares the piss out of the council so they want him staying in one place. Preferably year round.

---

Goodwitch: "Ozpin is a great teacher he's just a bit...intense."

Ozpin: "I look at you all and I see a crime. Beautiful unbound potential smothered in its crib by mediocrity and complacency. This. This will not stand. I will remake you, reforge you. Or I will break you."

Poor student who doesn't know what he's in for: "Sir I was just asking for the bathroom pass."

Ozpin: "ask? Child you seek to be a warrior. You do not ask, you take. Now come! Take your prize from me."

*Ozpin pulls out a weapon that's almost like a hammer. If a hammers head was made out of spinning and grinding plates of metal*

Dead man walking: "nevermind sir. I no longer need the pass."

Ozpin: "oh child. The pass was not your prize. Your continued ability to walk is the prize."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ruby tries to help Weiss and Whitley with their relationship...

Ruby: "I mean, it can't be that bad, right?"

Whitley: "Weiss literally pointed her weapon at me when I was trying to help you all."

Ruby: "Okay that's... That's pretty bad. But you guys must have some nice memories together, right?"

Whitley: "Nope."

Ruby: "Wha... Not even one?"

Whitley: "Not a one. We've been pitted against eachother since we were kids and any attempt I made to reach out and be friendly was slapped away since they thought I was just like father."

Ruby: "Oh..."

Whitley: "I was trying to work within the system. They ran off on me. Left me here all alone. Does that sound like something family does?"

Ruby: "... Yang... Yang and my dad fell apart, a few times... But they tried and they love me! And I love them!"

Whitley: "Good for you. Not my situation."

Ruby: pouts

Whitley: "Look Rose, I appreciate you trying to help... I guess."

Ruby: "You guess?!"

Whitley: "You're not doing a good job."

Ruby: "I'm... I'm not?"

Whitley: "No. You're honestly terrible at this. This is your idea of conflict resolution? It's really not good at all. I mean, did you have a plan?"

Ruby: "I'm... Terrible?" tears up

Whitley: "I... I just meant at this-"

Ruby: "I'm terrible!" sobs

Whitley: eyes wide, waves his hands "At this, at this! Stop crying!"

Ruby: "I-I can't stop!"

An engineering problem, a hostile takeover, a mortal threat-All of these are things Whitley Schnee can handle. A crying girl? Not so much.

Whitley: Crap if she keeps crying she'll just get worse... Hmmm...

He gets up, walks around the desk... And pats her on the shoulder.

Whitley: "... There... There?"

Ruby hugs him tightly. Awkwardly, like his arms were made of metal, he slowly hugs her back.

Whitley: "Please don't cry."

Ruby: blubbers "Everyone's... Everyone's putting so much on me and I don't know what the hell to do...! Jaune's helping out but... But my team keeps expecting me to do everything and sort out their crap and just accept their stupid drama and... and...!" sobs harder

Whitley sighs, pats her head: What did I do to deserve this...?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

In the Ever After, during the Ponderstorm...
Blake: "Yang... Just say it. Please. Tell me how you really feel."

Yang sucks in a deep breath, holds onto the bridge. Blake smiles, open, encouraging... Sure she knows the answer...
Yang: "I hate you, Blake!"

Blake: "... What?"

Yang: "I've resented and hated you for a long time now! I've had to bury my true feelings all this time! Keep them down all for the sake of Ruby and the team and the world but the truth is: FUCK. YOU!"

Blake: "But-But why-?!"

Yang: "I HAVE A LIST! You ran out on me at my lowest point! On ALL OF US! You ran back to your parents and their fucking island paradise while we all SUFFERED! You didn't even come back for us, you just came back to try and redeem yourself!"

Blake: "But we killed Adam together! Surely... Doesn't that mean you care for me?"

Yang: "What?! Romantically?!"

Blake: "Well... Yeah?"

Yang: "Would I need to love you to kill the bastard who took my arm?! OF COURSE I HELPED YOU KILL HIM! And despite how angry I am with you, I wasn't going to let you die! But that doesn't fucking mean I love you! You ran out on ALL of us, Blake! And I don't know HOW the hell you got it into your head I was in love with you, but I'm not."

Blake: "You... You aren't?"

Yang: "NO. Hell, you haven't even APOLOGIZED for running out on us! Not ONCE have I EVER heard you say you were sorry! FOR ANYTHING! You're a stuck up, arrogant, self righteous, self absorbed bitch and I have tried, TRIED, to forgive you and move on because the world was more important! But those are my honest feelings, Blake! Straight from the heart!"

The storm keeps going, worse now.
Yang: "Oh what the fuck?! I was totally sincere! UGH! Fine. 'I love you, Blake! I'm a total simp for you just like Sun and I am nothing more than a means of affirming your self esteem and how amazing you are!'"

The storm ends.
Yang: "Fuck you too! Anyway, let's get going Blake."

Blake: tears in her eyes "Yang... You... You really hate me?"

Yang: sighs "... That's probably too strong a word but... I've been keeping all that inside because of how angry I've been. I've been trying to just hide it for the team but... Yeah. I'm not... I resent you a lot, Blake. That's the truth."

Blake: "... I'm sorry."

Yang: "... That's a start, at least. And... We're alive, so that's fine. Even with the Yuri-obsessed thought storms."

Blake: nods "Thank you. Though... You never even thought of me romantically?"

Yang: "Nope."

Blake: "... Not even a little-?"

Yang: "Nope."

Blake: "... Maybe once or twice-?"

Yang: "I'm dating Jaune, Blake."

Blake: "Wh-What?! Since when?!"

Yang: "This is the self absorption part I'm talking about..."

- - -

Yeah, so, I rewatched Volume 9, including that episode. It honestly made my stomach turn. The gay part is beside the point, this pairing makes no damn sense, has no set up, and ultimately was forced as fan service to try and score some brownie points with a few lunatics who, surpisingly enough, weren't numerous or rich enough to keep the show going. So yeah. Fuck Bumblebee. Hope the Japanese reboot erases it entirely.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Team RWBY was enjoying a weekend out in Vale proper... With Jaune behind them, carrying several bags and boxes of purchases.

Ruby: "Are you sure you're okay, Jaune?"

Jaune: "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine. This is nothing!"

Ruby: "We-We are making you carry a lot though."

Yang: "You okay, Jaune?"

Jaune: "I said I was fine. I got lots of practice for when my sisters went shopping."

Weiss: sighs "Why exactly are we using him as our pack mule?"

Jaune: "Well I had to be here anyway."

Blake: "Plus, my fiance should be with us in public if my Aunt shows up and asks questions."

Yang: "You mean my fiance?"

Ruby: "He's not either of your fiance's! Stop acting like it!"

Weiss: "Ugh... Why did you have to start this, Blake?!"

Blake: "I panicked!"

Weiss: "That excuse got very thin long ago!"

Jaune: sighs "Guys, no matter how traditionalist your parents are, they can't force us to get married, right? My Nana will stop anything from happening. She's still got connections, so don't worry about it."

Yang: "All right... So we'll stick with you being my boyfriend from now on, huh?"

Jaune: "Huh?!"

Blake: "That's hardly fair, Yang."

Yang: "HEY! At least I asked!"

Ruby: "You can't just-just ask him like that-!"

Yang: "Wanna be my boyfriend, Jaune?"

Jaune: "Oh, well-"

Blake: "He should be mine! Aunt Yoruichi might be anywhere!"

Weiss: "That's not a compelling reason to date you."

Blake: "There are many compelling reasons to date me! Besides, his tastes have to have improved if he stopped going after you!"

Weiss: "Why you-!"

Blake and Weiss continue to argue, as Jaune, Yang and Ruby look exasperated.

A blue haired young man turns and stares at them. He gasps, and charges right for Yang.

???: "You!"

Yang: "Eh? Me?"

???: "Your beauty, your poise, your confidence-Yes! You're perfect! Please, tell me: Would you like to pose nude for me?"

Yang: bright red, hair burns gold and eyes glow red "EXCUSE YOU?!"

Jaune: "AH! YUSUKE!"

Jaune drops the packages and quickly goes up between Yang and the blue haired boy.

Jaune: "Yang? Please don't kill him."

Yang: "Why not?!"

Yusuke: "Oh! My apologies, I got a bit too excited-"

Yang: "You-!"

Jaune: sighs "This is Kitagawa Yusuke. He's a friend of my cousin from Fuujin. He came here to watch the Vytal Festival, and I was going to meet him. He's an artist-A really good one! Show them, Yusuke!"

Yusuke: "Certainly."

Yusuke pulls out an easel, canvas and paint set and immediately goes to work, painting almost frantically. He then finished with a flourish, and turned the canvas around to show a beautifully rendered painting of RWBY and Jaune.

Ruby: "OH WOW!"

Weiss: "In-Incredible!"

Yang: "I, wow..."

Blake: "Amazing!"

Yusuke: poses "Thank you. I was able to find my inspiration under threat of mortal peril. In that moment, all else slips away but the need to create and bring forth my vision into the world."

Jaune: exasperated "You could have just showed them your portfolio."

Yusuke: "Futaba thinks I'm much more convincing when I act."

Jaune: "Is... She here now?"

Yusuke: "No, the rest of our group will arrive in a few days. I just wanted to get here sooner to see the art scene. It was wonderful to meet you! May I come to Beacon to do sketches and paintings?"

Jaune: "I uh, sure! I'll get you a visitor's pass."

Yusuke: "Excellent! And ladies, if you are interested in posing for me-"

Yang: "Mayyyybe wait a bit before you ask that again?"

Yusuke: "... Ah. Yes. Forgive me, I do tend to forget normal social conventions. Oh! Is that an original Lassiter painting?"

Yusuke heads off, entranced. RWBY and Jaune watch him go.

Weiss: "... Is there anyone normal connected to your family?"

Ruby: "You do realize we're connected to him, right?"

Weiss: bright red "YOU-!"

Ruby and Weiss argue. Yang grins and sidles up to Jaune's side.

Yang: "Ya know, if you wanted me to pose nude for you, I might be able to bare it, Jaune."

Jaune: blush "Yang!"

Blake: "Please. I'm a superior nude model."

Jaune: "Blake!"

- - -

Yes, it's Yusuke from Persona 5. And naturally Jaune's cousin is that other harem protagonist. Ren Amamiya aka Joker. It's a way to introduce Fuujin, the Japan analog, into the fic. And now you know why Jaune can handle so much eccentricity-Between his family and friends, there's a LOT to deal with.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

General James Ironwood is sitting in his office at Beacon, scowling at holograms of a particular vigilante. His second-in-command, Winter Schnee, stood at his side. She looked over the images herself, a small frown on her face.

Winter: "Sir?"

Ironwood: "Ozpin says this vigilante is not a threat to our operations. But he has told us nothing else about him."

Winter: sighs "That seems to be typical of him, sir."

Ironwood: "Indeed. Your impressions?"

Winter: "Well... He seems to be doing his best to help the citizenry. They do like him and it seems to be improving morale."

Ironwood: "True... But his actions are rather disruptive as well. He's a rogue element. He cannot be trusted unless we know more."

He scowled intently at the holo images.

Ironwood: "Who are you, Huntsman? Hmmm... Get me all the files you can on him, Schnee."

Winter: "Yes sir!"

Winter headed off. She returned to the office a few minutes later... And General Ironwood, in a red mask and cape, was posing on the desk.

Ironwood: "Halt, evildoers! I, the Huntsman, have come to stop you!"

Winter: "... Sir?"

Ironwood: "..." He maintains his composure perfectly "I had thought that by imitating the Huntsman, I might gain some kind of insight into his character and motivations."

Winter: "I uh... I see sir."

Ironwood: "Perhaps if you dressed up as Wonder Zwei, we could-"

Winter: "No thank you, sir."

Ironwood: "Yes, well... That is understandable."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

In the Ever After... Without all that nonsense at the start... RWBY comes across the Rusted Knight. He saves them from peril... And then takes off his helmet.

Ruby: "... Jaune?!"

Jaune: "... I... Do I know you?"

Yang: "Hey! Looking hot, VB!"

Weiss: "Very mature!"

Blake: "You're the Rusted Knight?"

Jaune: "..." blinks

Ruby: "You... You do remember us... Don't you? It's me, Ruby."

Jaune: "..." He stares at his hands, and then at them "I have been guarding this land for so long... My life... It is a castle built of sand. Each grain is a single memory... And the world is an ocean that crashes against it. Every time the waves come in... A little more fades away. I am the king of a crumbling castle... One day... One day, I will be swept into the sea with my castle... With the last grains of sand..."

Ruby's eyes become filled with tears.

Ruby: "Jaune?"

Jaune: "It is... It is all falling away. There was... There was a girl with red hair. There was a blonde woman who smiled down at me. There was a blonde man who held me in his arms and laughed... But it's all faded away. My anger... My fear... It's all being replaced with nothing. And I am... I am empty..."

Ruby: "Oh... Jaune..." sobs

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The idea as developed on my Discord went like this:

Alyx's betrayal broke Jaune-Literally. He broke into a few different versions of himself. None of them want to be reunited again. There's Jaune as a Child, as a Teenager, as a Man, as a Middle Aged Man, as an Old Man, and as the Rusted Knight.

The Innocent, the Boy, the Healer, The Wraith, the Ancient, and the Rusted Knight.

The Innocent is a little boy, innocent and happy. Neo took him in because he was so sweet and happy. She couldn't bare to let an innocent, happy child suffer. And the Innocent is, on some level, aware of who he is but doesn't WANT to go back to suffering.

The Teenager is Jaune as he was before he came to Beacon, and he's filled with all the insecurities and fears of a normal teen. He is running away from what he's supposed to be doing, stuck in the eternal time before he came to Beacon: And he wants to stay there.

The Healer is Jaune taking the path his mother wanted him to: An adult doctor. He lives near the Paper Pushers and provides medical aid and help. He laments ever going to Beacon, thinking he should have just listened to his mother and not tried to become a Huntsman-Because it has brought nothing but grief and pain to everyone. He's bitter and sarcastic but still fairly kind and understanding-Like Doctor McCoy.

The Wraith is Jaune as a middle-aged man: Bitter, angry, sarcastic and full of his snark. He is Jaune's anger and resentment, his rage. He tears down anyone who tries to get close to him.

The Ancient is Jaune as an old man: Filled with nothing but regrets and lamentation over losing Pyrrha and having to kill Penny. He suffers the full weight of everything he went through, all the years he spent waiting for RWBY, alone with his guilt. He wants to die, but he can't. He is despair personified.

And the Rusted Knight... Is Jaune's core. His desire to do good and be a hero. To protect the innocent, his hope personified. He holds the line... And all the other Jaunes despise him.

So RWBY and Neo have to work together to try and bring the Jaunes back into one being, or else they're never going to escape the Ever After. Yes it's Jaune-centric but the point is that each member of RWBY has to face their own weaknesses and insecurities to help Jaune overcome his.

Ruby: "Jaune! We're trying to help you-!"

Child!Jaune: "You never helped me! It was always all about YOU! YOU YOU YOU! Your quest, your drama, your obsessions and issues! You didn't tell Ironwood the truth! You caused all that damage! Everyone who died is YOUR FAULT! PYRRHA DIED BECAUSE YOU DIDN"T GET THERE IN TIME! So no! I don't wanna grow up! I don't want to hurt anymore, not when all you do is hurt EVERYONE!"

Teen!Jaune: "Weiss... Weiss, I'm scared. I... I just put on a big show to try and hide it, but I was scared all the time. Scared of failing, scared of failing someone I cared about. Being a sick child, I... I figured the only way to make up for everything my parents did for me was to be a hero. To prove that I could stand on my own... But I didn't, did I? I just screwed everything up."

Healer!Jaune: "This is what I could have been, Yang! What I should have been! A doctor, a healer! Why did we choose that path!? PYRRHA COULD HAVE LIVED IF NOT FOR US! We didn't have any business trying to be heroes, and I'm living proof of it. I should have just done this, because this way I could at least make a real difference in the world! You know this is true! Where's your fire, huh? It vanished when you lost your arm! Meekly accepting everything, even Blake coming back after all she did!"

Wraith!Jaune: "You know Blake. I actually kinda admired you. You had NO problem running away at all. I wish had that kind of courage...but I was too scared to say anything. I was too scared to admit to weakness...I was too scared to admit my own fears! But you! You ran away without a second thought...If I had your bravery....maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe I just needed to wrap myself up in self righteousness and be the victim, no matter what, to be forgiven!"

Old!Jaune: "WHY AM I THE ONE STILL HERE?! Why am I the one who lived?! I'm nothing! They! They were the ones that mattered! Why did they have to die?!" Breaks down into tears, "Why couldn't have it been me?"

Rusted Knight: "If you want to give up... I'd understand. I can't get through to any of them... I suppose I have a lot of issues."

Ruby: "You stayed here, waiting for us for so long... We won't give up on you, Jaune. I promise..."