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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Peacehammer Fantasy (which isn't Age of Sigmar)! Today we are using the greatest tool in the multiverse (on par with magic) to see if Paul is avaricious enough to ensure elf babies are born whole and hearty.

Also it sounds like the dwarven men need their testicles modified to site girls while dwarves women need their eggs modified to develop twins (or more) with each birth. Fun!
 
Every Paul everywhere ends up getting semi-immortal women pregnant...

Is that even still just a GILF fetish or something more?

Not really.

So far only two versions of Paul have impregnated someone.

The only versions of Paul that have impregnated someone are Raul and paragon.

Raul impregnated Komand'r, who isn't semi-immortal.

Paul used his ring to impregnate several Amazoms, who are semi-immortal.
 
3rd Brauzeit 2512
Mid-Afternoon


I look slightly awkwardly at my guests.

"I'm… Sorry, but I think there's been.. a miscommunication."
Not an uncommon occurrence with our dear SI, whatever the world. I wonder what it is this time? Someone assuming he's as provincial as the Reikslander humans, or leaping to the conclusion that he's some manner of mage from a far-distant land (Though, to be fair, Far Cathay and Nippon are basically unknown to the Old World at large by virtue of being on the other side of the planet...)

Ambassador of the Phoenix Court Prince Sharvan the Poet was… Okay, I can't say was, because while as an ambassador he has his instinctual rudeness under control compared to many of his countrymen he can still be more than a little haughty. He appeared to be satisfied with the result of my initial discussions with Queen Khalida, and sent a somewhat vaguely worded note indicating that he was condescending to aid me in another matter we had previously discussed.
Heh. Something of a 'well, you didn't utterly screw the Hellhound on that job. Try this, then.' I'll bet.

There were a grand total of two things I risked discussing with him, and the embassy was one of them.

"I admit that I may have been unclear in my request, but…"

The other was my offer to investigate the underlying cause of the collapse in Ulthuanian birth rates.
And yes, that is a thing in the Old World. Most of the races are slowly dying out, with the more antagonistic races only breaking even by being prodigious breeders.

"I rather thought that if he accepted my offer that he would send a… Couple who were attempting to conceive?"

The woman introduced to me by my usher as Fillinno of Everwatch narrows her eyes slightly. "We have attempted to conceive."
Yes, I rather suppose if you had succeeded, you wouldn't be here, after all. So can we lose the attitude...

My eyes unavoidably drift to the other woman, Macese of Angerrial. Because if it turns out to be that simple, I'm going to be astonished.

"With..? One another? Because-."
Honestly, if it turns out they simply haven't understood the whole 'birds and the bees' talk... :p

"Obviously not."

"Alright. Um. Well, thank you for agreeing to participate-."
Well, thank goodness for that. Now, as to the matter of the males involved...

"We have agreed to nothing. Our Prince bade us come and so we have come, but I no intention of submitting to your ill-educated prodding."

I nod. "Because naturally you are at least somewhat acquainted with the state of human medicine in the Empire and are quite reasonably sceptical that I would have anything to offer than had not already been attempted."
On that aspect: Imagine sawbones, barbers, quacks and bloodletters (Not the daemons, mind!) Reiklander medical science is... not well advanced. Bretonnia is even less advanced, even amongst the sorceresses, I suspect.

"Just so. As if a human could understand the bodies of elfish women better than the physicians of the White Tower or the priestesses of Moonspire." She manages a condescending smile. "I am satisfied that you at least recognise your folly."

"But I'm afraid that you're missing something, which suggests to me that you don't actually know who I am."
Hmm... I have to wonder just how much more advanced their medical studies are. Elves are.. not known for innovation and outside-the-box thinking.

She scoffs.

"You cannot be so conceited as to believe that there is a quality unique to you which allows you to defy all reason."
Oh, there is. Let him get started and he'll go on for hours...

"Oh, no." I raise my hands in mock surrender. "No, there's little special about me. True, I had the advantage of growing up in a country more technologically advanced than anything on this planet, but it wasn't me who made it so. I could talk to you about stem cells and chromosomes, but I didn't discover them."

I turn my left hand around and focus my desires on making my point as clearly as possible.
And just that 'this planet' should be giving them some pause. Oh, certainly, they might assume it's hyperbole, but...

"This ring was made by a species who were peers of the Old Ones. They made them for much the same reason that the Old Ones taught High Magic to your forebears; because they felt that with a little improvement we could become useful to them. Not as equals, but as valued servants. And if you want initial proof-."
For reference, the Old Ones created (or basically uplifted) several races of the Old World, Elves amongst them. They were basically Maltusians with a more magical focus.

"Your speech." Macese nods. "Humans do not customarily speak Eltharin with the accent of Calador. Nor so clearly as you do."

"My sponsors could hardly be expected to learn my language, so they ensured that communication would never be a problem for their ring-bearers. I can be understood by and understand anyone with common frame of reference. Words or concepts with no equivalent may not work, but English to Eltharin is simple."
To be fair, most non-humans would probably find English a horrifying hodge-podge of grammars, vocabularies and phenomes from around the world... I suspect most Maltusians would expect to lose intelligence learning it. :V

"What manner of place speaks 'English'?"

I create a globe displaying the continents of Earth.
Which should be very interesting to them, given the similarity and differences involved. The joy of the original Warhammer developers basing their world map off our own.

"My own dear homeworld, on the far side of the Gates." They both look warily at the construct, though I spot Fillinno taking in every detail of the landmasses. "So when I say that you haven't heard of me, perhaps I should instead say that you haven't heard of what I've achieved with this ring."

Fillinno reaches out with her right hand and pokes the construct, presumably to see whether or not it's an illusion. When it resists the pressure she applies she lowers her hand with a nod.
Hmm... Accepting that maybe the Mon-Keigh may have some possibility of knowing what he's talking about? How remarkable for an Elf!

"How will this tool aid this investigation?"

I wave my left hand, dismissing the globe and replacing it with a construct image of her, internal organs included.
Probably the first time the ladies have seen a body in that state, I wouldn't wonder.

"I can detect substances in your body in quantities too minute to detect with any means you may be familiar with. And I can monitor them constantly, without the need to actually extract blood or other fluids or tissues. Should you become pregnant, I can monitor the foetus at every stage of its development so that if something goes wrong I will at least be able to guess at what it might be. And should the Ambassador be successful in gathering the data I requested, I can tabulate five thousand years worth of birth records and track trends in seconds because something's changed, and historical records are the best place to work out when it started."
Which he can probably manage, because Elves do like their record-keeping. Not nearly so much as the Dwarves, with their books of Grudges, but still. I'm guessing he hasn't simply scanned all of Ulthuan because of the sheer pervasiveness of the Winds of Magic...

"And what do you need of us?"

"Your permission to study you. Though I haven't taken any oaths myself, I'm trying to practice medicine to an ethical code that the physicians in my home country would accept. I'm not going to scan you in detail without your express permission and I'm going to answer any question you have about any part of the process. Do I have your permission?"
You know, I would not be surprised to learn the Elven physicians don't have anything like the Hippocratic oath...

"What else would you have us do?"

"Encourage other elves to give me permission to study them. My current sample size is too small, and I'm getting… Unrepresentative results."
To be fair, things in Bretonnia are... Odd in all fields anyway.

"Who has already placed their wombs in your hands?"

"A small village in Mousillon. The elven inhabitants were seafarers who liked the place so much that they decided to stay. Out of fourteen women, discounting one who mates exclusively with a local human and two who exclusively keep the company of women, two years after the founding of the settlement, all of the rest either are or have been pregnant."
...On the one banging humans: Ew. Because, and this is a doozy, most Elves regard humans as little more than animals with pretensions of intelligence. You can imagine the reaction to hearing that someone's doing that with humans...

Which -even given the higher Dark Elf birth rates- was strange enough that Aranei asked if I was doing something to make it happen. As far as I know I wasn't, and the birth rate amongst the local humans and beastwomen remains the same as it was before. Apparently, Dark Elves usually ritually sacrifice slaves when they want to have children, and since the High Elves in theory don't allow slavery that's not really an option for them.

Might be worth trying at some point. Aranei was sketchy on the details, but I've got a lot of orcs and beastmen to kill. It's a shame not to get some use out of them.
...That is a very odd detail. There must be something going on with soul-stuff, then.

Fillinno straightens up slightly and Macese frowns.

"Eleven births in two years?"
That's probably more than most of Ulthuan is managing. Collectively.

"Nine children born, with several pregnancies ongoing. They're… Scaling back their potentially-reproductive sexual activity now that they're aware that something is boosting fertility rates. Having studied them, I haven't… There's nothing that stands out as odd going on in their bodies. Human and elf pregnancies proceed in a fairly similar way, so I've been using humans as a model."

With good harvests and not monster attacks, the human inhabitants of my village are experiencing a bit of a population boost as well. We're going to honestly be able to call it a town before too long.
Given that this is the grim-dark Warhammer World, yes, that is impressive.With all the bad shit around, most races only barely break even by having lots of offspring. Never mind the Greenskins...

"But I'm still going to need to examine your male lovers, in case whatever causes the difference is in their bodies."

Macese nods. "And when you are done, what then?"
Probably realising that yes, that may have played some part in it. I take it she's been loving and leaving them when the relationship proves not to be... Fruitful.

"Depending on what the problem is, I can correct it or keep it in abeyance or… If it's a matter of diet or something like that, I will suggest changes to your lifestyles to work around it. That's basically what I've offered the dwarfs, though their problem is.. far simpler than yours appears to be."

"Explain."
Well, when a Daddy dwarf and a Mommy dwarf... ;) Yes, they do exist, none of the 'I thought they hatched from rocks' jokes, please...

"Low number of female births combined with quite a lot of warfare. Their actual birth rate isn't the problem, they just can't make good on their losses generation to generation." I shrug. "Even closeting their females isn't enough. I could fix that by modifying the testicles of male dwarfs so that they sired more daughters, but I didn't get any volunteers. In the case of High Elves, the fact that women fight on the front lines is probably having an effect, but that's not a new development so I don't think it can be what's causing the issue."
I rather suspect the objection wasn't the physical aspect, but the social: Daughters mean Dowries.

"No." Macese considers for a moment. "I will consent, on the understanding that this information is for you alone. And I will direct my lovers to visit you."

"Thank you. And you, Fillinno?"
Well, that's one down.

"I will wait. I wish to visit your village first."

I nod. I'll let Aranei get out the dresses without skulls on them.
o_O ...I'm sorry, this is Warhammer. There's nothing in existence without skulls on. Nothing. They're like mushrooms, just spontaneously growing everywhere. :p

Not the kind of problem I'd have envisioned Warhammer Paul (...do we have a nickname for him yet?) to be looking into. I mean, it's logical enough. Preventing the slow decline of potential allies into extinction is always a helpful idea. Perhaps next, he can approach the Slann with offers of rejuvenation? Imagine those bloated old toads in young, vital bodies, throwing around the kind of spell Lord Kroak or Lord Mazdamundi can manage... :eek:
 
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Remind me how Warhammer Fantasy Paul is recharging his ring and how it's totally not related to Slaanesh?
 
For reference, the Old Ones created several races of the Old World, Elves amongst them. They were basically Maltusians with a more magical focus.
As far as I remember, elves are local. The Old Ones spent a lot of time educating them but they didn't create them.
To be fair, most non-humans would probably find English a horrifying hodge-podge of grammars, vocabularies and phenomes from around the world... I suspect most Maltusians would expect to lose intelligence learning it. :V
It has been proven experimentally that humans lose intelligence learning it.
...On the one banging humans: Ew. Because, and this is a doozy, most Elves regard humans as little more than animals with pretensions of intelligence. You can imagine the reaction to hearing that someone's doing that with humans...
It's in Bretonnia, so they probably think it's Wood Elves anyway, and it's a step up from fucking trees like they normally do.
Probably realising that yes, that may have played some part in it. I take it she's been loving and leaving them when the relationship proves not to be... Fruitful.
Not exactly. Because fertility and virility are so low, elven culture has developed in such a way that promiscuity is far more accepted because there's basically no chance of having a child as a result.
Well, when a Daddy dwarf and a Mommy dwarf... ;) Yes, they do exist, none of the 'I thought they hatched from rocks' jokes, please...

I rather suspect the objection wasn't the physical aspect, but the social: Daughters mean Dowries.
If I remember correctly, dwarfs practice polygamy; several men married to the same woman. Their concern is really more about the idea of a crazy magic human messing around with their scrotums.
 
Remind me how Warhammer Fantasy Paul is recharging his ring and how it's totally not related to Slaanesh?
Nomming the Winds themselves, if I remember right. Orange rings are the true omnivores.
So far as I remember, the Warhammer setting doesn't have hybrids. Half-elves aren't a thing, so there's no way he could get her pregnant with his child.
That's because of a lack of intercourse, rather than a lack of results from it.
 
Their concern is really more about the idea of a crazy magic human messing around with their scrotums.

And they are right, I mean we know that Paul is competent. But if a random human wizard visit and says he wants to do magic spells on your scrotum you should probably kill said human. It's just common sense.
 
I could accept that no elf has ever wanted to have sex with a human, but I strongly doubt that humans feel the same way and slavery is very much a thing in the setting.
Indeed, slavery is a thing in the setting. Enslaved dark elves provided Nagash the foundational knowledge of dark magic that drove his innovation of necromancy.

And then he killed them all.

Slavery might be a thing, but slave longevity most emphatically is not, to the point that I'd be surprised if neither the dark elves nor the skaven had come up with pit-farming greenskins for meat.
 
So far as I remember, the Warhammer setting doesn't have hybrids. Half-elves aren't a thing, so there's no way he could get her pregnant with his child.
That sounds like a limitation for people without a Power Ring. Of course, for that to work, he'd actually have to want a kid with her. Which he may not, for all the audience knows.



He appeared to be satisfied with the result of my initial discussions with Queen Khalida
Any chance if learning the result of that, or is it Spoilers for future updates?
 
That sounds like a limitation for people without a Power Ring. Of course, for that to work, he'd actually have to want a kid with her. Which he may not, for all the audience knows.

When Paragon was talking to Jade about kids he said he was indifferent to it, so this Paul may also not care if he has children or not.

There's also his partner to consider and whether or not she wants to have children.
 
Zoat can't see this, but he is in fact wrong.

A Half Elf showed up in the 2001 novel Gilead's Blood, and Half Orc's are similarly a thing.

Not if it's a version of WF in-line with modern lore that this Paul is in.

Any half-breeds have been retconned out of existence by making the genetics of the species of The Old World too alien to interbreed. And Orkz are basically just their 40k counterparts now, so they wouldn't even have genitalia to interbreed with.

Hell, the same thing's basically happened in 40k too. There used to be an Astartes that was half-Eldar, but that's not canon anymore last I saw.
 
That sounds like a limitation for people without a Power Ring. Of course, for that to work, he'd actually have to want a kid with her. Which he may not, for all the audience knows.
He'd have to have some way to integrate the genetics of two incompatible species. Which he doesn't.
Any chance if learning the result of that, or is it Spoilers for future updates?
The only thing that was firmly agreed right away was mutual territorial recognition, which was easy as The Empire and Nehekhara don't share a border. A future meeting was scheduled where other issues will be agreed, and the groundwork for that agreement was laid during the SI's meeting. In theory, Lybaras can now sue in Imperial courts if anyone from the Empire tries stealing from anyone in Nehekhara, but that's unlikely to come up.

The Light College are drooling.
Hell, the same thing's basically happened in 40k too. There used to be an Astartes that was half-Eldar, but that's not canon anymore last I saw.
That was Rogue Trader, where models had a stat saying how cool they were.
Here for example is an illustration of someone who suddenly found himself isekai'd into Warhammer.
Here's another.
 
He'd have to have some way to integrate the genetics of two incompatible species. Which he doesn't.
I was going to scoff at the idea that the Maltusian database on the Ring would struggle with some low tier genetic meddling, but then remembered the SI didn't have a database at first, until the Mind-control starfish incident when he mugged a Greeny and coped his.

I'm still willing to bet the Maltusian clarktech and Orange Light could pave over such trivialities as "conventional physics" and "genetic compatibility", but he'd need to really want that for it to work. And if the SI is ambivalent on the subject of kids under near-ideal conditions with someone he loves, I doubt this version of him would have a strong desire for them in the Warhammer world, with his only-not-chaotic-evil-because-she's-mind-controlled elf girlfriend.
 
I could have sworn I'd heard he was in a novel or two
I'm reasonably confident that wasn't the case. At the start of the Rogue Trader era, space marines were conceptually very different to what they were at the end of it. And there weren't a lot of books released at the time.
but that... doesn't really say all that much in Warhammer does it?
793495-1988%2C%20Chapter%20Approved%2C%20Copyright%20Games%20Workshop%2C%20Orks%2C%20Retro%20Review%2C%20Rogue%20Trader.jpg
 
If I knew what was going on in that image it would probably prove a point. Sadly, most, if not all, of my 40k knowledge is based purely in lore, so I've got no clue what that image is meant to convey.

Edit:I am admittedly quite stupid at times, and my knowledge of the fluff is hardly absolute, so it's entirely possible that what it's meant to convey is a matter of pure lore and I just don't have the context to get that.
 

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