28th October 2012
07:22 GMT -7
"-
daughter's getting up in a few minutes-."
Helena Sandsmark cuts herself off as she spots me flying in. Zeus appears to have acquired jeans and a shirt from somewhere, and his wounds are less obvious than they were a few hours ago. She's currently standing outside of her house and very clearly not happy that he's here.
Why
is he here? He's clearly spent time on Earth in the modern era; one of the products of that time is currently sleeping in her room upstairs. So it's not as if he needs someone to explain how money works or anything like that. Similarly, he must have
somewhere to live.
I land a short distance away from Cassandra's parents.
"Doctor Sandsmark. Zeus.
"
"Hephaestus's
bard." Zeus stares at me with a look of contempt. "Here to narrate my life in verse? Let me pay you your worth."
He reaches into his pocket, and tosses me… Half a copper coin. An old British
halfpenny, if I'm any judge.
"Half a coin to match your
wits. Too kind.
"
"Paul,
why is he here?"
"I don't know. He's not on Olympus because he got overthrown by Hephaestaean, but I don't know why he's
here.
"
"I'm here because I need a reference. I need to get into a college of some sort in order to get back to Olympus, and a published Doctor of Archaeology would seem to be my best bet. A better question is: what are
you doing here?"
"Captain Marvel can't transform.
"
"Who?"
"The current champion of the wizard Jebediah of Canaan. Sha
zam.
"
"Oh. Him. Yes, it wouldn't, would it? I don't have access to my lightning, because Hephaestus has never been a fool. No one
else has it, so even automatic things like my gift to Jebediah aren't working."
"How do I
start it working?
"
"Ah, to do that you must perform an epic quest worthy of the Elysian Fields. First, enter the gateway into the Dream in Erebos, and pass into that eldritch place to retrieve a single petal from each of the strange flowers that bloom in Morpheus's own garden. Next, to Tartarus, and steal a single tear from each of the beings bound there. These you will need to quench the fires which burn beneath Mount Othrys, that you may take the remaining fragments of the bones of Uranus from their vaults. Then you must travel unto the hallowed halls of Harvard University, whereupon you may
suck my cock."
"You realise that Captain Marvel is the one useful thing you've done with yourself in living memory, don't you? The one thing people actually credit you for?
"
"Jeb got me to sign up to that while I was merry with drink. Don't expect me to have any real attachment to the man."
"I doubt that anyone here expects you to have any real attachment to anyone. What exactly do you want on this reference? I can hardly give you a
character reference; we barely know each other."
"You mean you might have to lie on a reference?" He looks at her incredulously. "Do people actually tell the truth on those things?"
"
Yes!"
"What do you want?
"
Zeus turns his head my way. "What?"
"What do you want in order to be helpful? You don't like me and I don't like you, but Captain Marvel respects you and does good work in your name.
"
"Ah, no, no, I think I've been discharged of all responsibilities. Captain Marvel will just have to make do."
I take a quick look at his desire network. Nothing unbearable, but… He's not going to help.
"Right, fine. Your lack of cooperation has been noted. Good da-.
"
"Hey!" Dr. Sandsmark glares at me. "Where are
you going?"
"Erebos. Hades has been nothing but helpful for as long as I've known him.
"
"H
m." Zeus grimaces. "
Family."
"You ate your first wife and kept her trapped in your head for thousands of years. You literally threw Hephaestus off a mountain so hard that his leg got crushed and you played away from home so often that the Goddess of Marriage divorced you, the rest of your family says 'H
m,
Zeus'. Doctor Sandsmark, I apologise for
this inconvenience.
"
I raise my right hand to my forehead
and
28th October 2012
17:25 GMT +3
appear in Erebos, face to face with Zagreus's arrow.
"Feeling jumpy?
"
"Everyone's feeling jumpy. You just overthrew Zeus.
"
"Hephaestaean overthrew Zeus.
"
"Hephaestaean
exists because of you. He asked me if I'd like to try out for the position of War God.
"
"From the way you appear to like pointing arrows at people, I'd say that you were a natural fit.
"
"Not really.
" He lowers the arrow and reduces the tension on the string.
"Hm.
"
"What?
"
"I just realised that your carefully planned chaos is far scarier than Eris's habit of pulling loose threads.
"
"But I'm happy with my current job.
Why aren't you taking it?
"
"I don't particularly want to be a god.
"
"You were rather born the wrong person, then.
"
"No, I mean that I don't have any desire to be part of the kind of active pantheon that Hephaestaean wants us to become. I understand the logic of it; I'm out in the world enough to know what 'competition' is. But I like being a tour guide and hunter. Even though hunting isn't a part of the lives of most humans any longer, there's a job that an Olympian
could do… I don't want to. If anyone needs to do it, Artemis can have the job.
"
"Were you working the role under Zeus?
"
"No, but he didn't care. Hephaestaean
does, and I'm concerned that he might take it badly. I
heard about Ares.
"
"I don't think he'll geld you for wanting to come off the civil list. Given the backlogs I'm seeing around here, I'd be more worried about what your father will say.
"
"I
am.
"
"What do you actually
get out of it, anyway?
"
"Nothing. The power I get from Erebos comes from my being born here rather than being a gift from my father. The spells bound to my equipment have already been paid for and everything else is my innate power.
"
"Can I assume that other Olympians are similarly concerned?
"
"Zeus's laziness let people just drift away and do their own thing. If Hephaestaean makes an issue of things, then he…
"
Zagreus jerks his head towards the west, staring with no small amount of concern.
"Something wrong?
"
"My mother is leaving her grove. She very seldom does-. I should go and see what she wants.
"
Between Hera and Aphrodite…
"I think I can guess.
"