hkim
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There've been quite a few -- it's part and parcel of the whole SI thing and we haven't had any in a while, it's fine.
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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
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- self insert young justice
There've been quite a few -- it's part and parcel of the whole SI thing and we haven't had any in a while, it's fine.
Ardy
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Bobo supergirl VII when?
CrazyNoVa
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Well, there is a universe where everyone is an ape, so the idea of a monkey Supergirl might be more likely than you think.
hkim
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paging the bloodhound gang
We're All Mad Here (part 26)
New
Mr Zoat
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July 18th, 2013
Afternoon
It's a dog's life, being an intelligent chimp.
It's worse when the humans around you find out that you've been drinking and smoking to try and help your poor primate brain deal with all of the everything that you're now stuck trying to cope with, and make sure to cut you off. Learning new things sounds great, until one of the terms you learn is 'withdrawal symptoms'.
I liked the carnival, you know? Okay, that's a lie, too many weird smells and strange, noisy people, but I knew it. I knew the people, even if where we were set up changed from-. Week to week. Not that I had a concept of a week, but ape troupes move around the territory…
I mean, I grew up in a private zoo, but I would have done. Still got the instincts… Probably.
Anyway, I learned my cues and did my act and 'Detective Chimp' was one of the few human words I actually knew, because it was me. Only it turns out that my name was 'Bobo' the whole time. I thought that was just some weird noise they made. And 'Detective Chimp' was an act, and once I understood that, I actually got a bit angry.
Not as angry as I was when they first wired me up, and not the same sort of anger. You made me this and you don't think I can be a detective?
So let's put this cyborg brain of mine to use.
Orange Lantern, a human I sort-of like because when he realised that I wasn't all that happy about my new outlook on life offered to turn it off. And I understood exactly what he meant, because his ring lets him speak like a chimpanzee. If I've got the ability to make decisions then I should be making decisions, and some people shouldn't be banning liquor from the building. He was trying to talk Jarvis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, down. Tetch has done something with the big globe to control the robot men and probably plans to do something worse.
How many robot men are there? Don't know. I only heard about them on television. Can he get control of the rest? Probably.
How?
He was stuffed in there while the Anti-Life was broadcasting, but I was here while it was broadcasting and that didn't let me understand my implants any better. But Mannheim was trying to use him as part of it, which probably resulted in him knowing more about it than just about anyone.
And now he's angry at Batman, who I've never met, but who the news says is basically in charge of Earth at the moment. And the main thing keeping things running. I trust Orange Lantern, and he sounded like he wasn't all that keen on that, or the robot men, but Tetch wanted to do something about it now.
Which means that unless it looks like Batman is going to do something right now, then the correct thing to do is stop Tetch. And while I'm as strong as a… Chimpanzee, who's hung over, nicotine-starved and getting on a bit…
Making me the first chimpanzee to feel apprehension at the gradual approach of his mortality. The first chimpanzee with ennui.
I'm plenty strong enough to twist his head off his neck. If I could grip him, and actually wanted to do that to a person. Which I don't. Understanding the 'why' of things makes them a lot less scary. They don't provoke the same threat response.
So I should talk to him. His guards have gone, and I'm less scary than a powerful superhero. And I'm not a known associate of Batman.
I take a step back into space, falling off the rafter and grabbing it from underneath with my right arm. Yeah, that used to be easier. Definitively starting to get arthritis. I'll have to ask Orange Lantern to do something about that after I heroically save the day. I swing a couple of times to get momentum, then let go and fall towards a crane arm, swing off that -ow- and then land on top of the globe thing.
Tetch looks up at me, and… Human facial expressions… Constipated? Annoyed?
"Why is there a chimp in here?"
I try reaching for a confiscated packet of cigarettes. "I was having a nap, then you started making noise."
He blinks. "I'm not crazy any more."
"I'm not an expert on human behavior. You don't smell insane, so I'll accept that. You know, provisionally."
He takes a step backwards. "I'm.. not crazy."
"Oh. Right. I used to be a normal chimpanzee, then some humans implanted things in my brain, and now I can think like a human."
"But that wouldn't let you speak. Chimp vocal cords aren't the right shape."
"So you can accept that they could modify my brain, but not that they could modify my vocal cords?"
"Oh. Yes, that would make sense." He… Frowns? "There are so many papers on neural science that I need to read to get back up to date now that I'm sane again."
"So what's this all about? And have you got any cigarettes? I've been dying for one but they've cut me off."
"I.. don't smoke. I think the caterpillar smoked, but I could never find anyone-." He shakes his head. "Do you have a name?"
"Detective Chimp."
"That sounds like a description."
"'When I use a word-'."
He looks like something bit him. "Please don't."
"Chimpanzees don't really have names. I'm not insulted by having a description. It makes more sense than a random label. To me, anyway." I look around. I know that humans don't take being stared at as badly as chimpanzees do, but I also know what species I am. "So, do you want me to check your hair for lice, or are you going to tell me what you're doing?"
"Mannheim was using me for one of his schemes. He… Did something to me that lets me use his technology. It's evil. But if I can use it to stop anyone else using it, then I can live with that."
"Didn't I hear Orange Lantern say something about-?"
"P-hah! He's running things with Batman. He's been supplying him with their devices to use for his new Justifiers."
"Alright." I don't think he's lying, and it's plausible enough not to be paranoia-. Pure paranoia. "How about Supergirl?"
"Probably a robot. Superman, the other Supergirl… They react to things in the same way that humans do. She doesn't. You can't fake instincts like that."
"If they can make Kryptonian-strength robots, why would they bother with Justifiers?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out. Now that I'm here and this is whole, I can connect to their network. Find out what they're doing."
"Okay. So what have you found?"
"Nothing. I'm not actually good at this. I'm not a detective either." "Show me what I need!"
Hm. Alright. Beats hanging around while everyone else gets to drink and smoke. "I am."
"Um."
"You got some way to move this?"
"I…" He pulls his shoulders in, a gesture that's just about the same for chimpanzees and humans. "I don't-. That's not really..."
"You can pay me in cigarettes and whiskey."
"I-." His eyes jerk up. "Damn it, they've-! Fine." He comes closer and lays his hands on the orb. "Hold on."
I clasp it with my feet. "How exactly are you going to-?"
The room shoots upwards around me!
"Aaagh!"
Afternoon
It's a dog's life, being an intelligent chimp.
It's worse when the humans around you find out that you've been drinking and smoking to try and help your poor primate brain deal with all of the everything that you're now stuck trying to cope with, and make sure to cut you off. Learning new things sounds great, until one of the terms you learn is 'withdrawal symptoms'.
I liked the carnival, you know? Okay, that's a lie, too many weird smells and strange, noisy people, but I knew it. I knew the people, even if where we were set up changed from-. Week to week. Not that I had a concept of a week, but ape troupes move around the territory…
I mean, I grew up in a private zoo, but I would have done. Still got the instincts… Probably.
Anyway, I learned my cues and did my act and 'Detective Chimp' was one of the few human words I actually knew, because it was me. Only it turns out that my name was 'Bobo' the whole time. I thought that was just some weird noise they made. And 'Detective Chimp' was an act, and once I understood that, I actually got a bit angry.
Not as angry as I was when they first wired me up, and not the same sort of anger. You made me this and you don't think I can be a detective?
So let's put this cyborg brain of mine to use.
Orange Lantern, a human I sort-of like because when he realised that I wasn't all that happy about my new outlook on life offered to turn it off. And I understood exactly what he meant, because his ring lets him speak like a chimpanzee. If I've got the ability to make decisions then I should be making decisions, and some people shouldn't be banning liquor from the building. He was trying to talk Jarvis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, down. Tetch has done something with the big globe to control the robot men and probably plans to do something worse.
How many robot men are there? Don't know. I only heard about them on television. Can he get control of the rest? Probably.
How?
He was stuffed in there while the Anti-Life was broadcasting, but I was here while it was broadcasting and that didn't let me understand my implants any better. But Mannheim was trying to use him as part of it, which probably resulted in him knowing more about it than just about anyone.
And now he's angry at Batman, who I've never met, but who the news says is basically in charge of Earth at the moment. And the main thing keeping things running. I trust Orange Lantern, and he sounded like he wasn't all that keen on that, or the robot men, but Tetch wanted to do something about it now.
Which means that unless it looks like Batman is going to do something right now, then the correct thing to do is stop Tetch. And while I'm as strong as a… Chimpanzee, who's hung over, nicotine-starved and getting on a bit…
Making me the first chimpanzee to feel apprehension at the gradual approach of his mortality. The first chimpanzee with ennui.
I'm plenty strong enough to twist his head off his neck. If I could grip him, and actually wanted to do that to a person. Which I don't. Understanding the 'why' of things makes them a lot less scary. They don't provoke the same threat response.
So I should talk to him. His guards have gone, and I'm less scary than a powerful superhero. And I'm not a known associate of Batman.
I take a step back into space, falling off the rafter and grabbing it from underneath with my right arm. Yeah, that used to be easier. Definitively starting to get arthritis. I'll have to ask Orange Lantern to do something about that after I heroically save the day. I swing a couple of times to get momentum, then let go and fall towards a crane arm, swing off that -ow- and then land on top of the globe thing.
Tetch looks up at me, and… Human facial expressions… Constipated? Annoyed?
"Why is there a chimp in here?"
I try reaching for a confiscated packet of cigarettes. "I was having a nap, then you started making noise."
He blinks. "I'm not crazy any more."
"I'm not an expert on human behavior. You don't smell insane, so I'll accept that. You know, provisionally."
He takes a step backwards. "I'm.. not crazy."
"Oh. Right. I used to be a normal chimpanzee, then some humans implanted things in my brain, and now I can think like a human."
"But that wouldn't let you speak. Chimp vocal cords aren't the right shape."
"So you can accept that they could modify my brain, but not that they could modify my vocal cords?"
"Oh. Yes, that would make sense." He… Frowns? "There are so many papers on neural science that I need to read to get back up to date now that I'm sane again."
"So what's this all about? And have you got any cigarettes? I've been dying for one but they've cut me off."
"I.. don't smoke. I think the caterpillar smoked, but I could never find anyone-." He shakes his head. "Do you have a name?"
"Detective Chimp."
"That sounds like a description."
"'When I use a word-'."
He looks like something bit him. "Please don't."
"Chimpanzees don't really have names. I'm not insulted by having a description. It makes more sense than a random label. To me, anyway." I look around. I know that humans don't take being stared at as badly as chimpanzees do, but I also know what species I am. "So, do you want me to check your hair for lice, or are you going to tell me what you're doing?"
"Mannheim was using me for one of his schemes. He… Did something to me that lets me use his technology. It's evil. But if I can use it to stop anyone else using it, then I can live with that."
"Didn't I hear Orange Lantern say something about-?"
"P-hah! He's running things with Batman. He's been supplying him with their devices to use for his new Justifiers."
"Alright." I don't think he's lying, and it's plausible enough not to be paranoia-. Pure paranoia. "How about Supergirl?"
"Probably a robot. Superman, the other Supergirl… They react to things in the same way that humans do. She doesn't. You can't fake instincts like that."
"If they can make Kryptonian-strength robots, why would they bother with Justifiers?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out. Now that I'm here and this is whole, I can connect to their network. Find out what they're doing."
"Okay. So what have you found?"
"Nothing. I'm not actually good at this. I'm not a detective either." "Show me what I need!"
Hm. Alright. Beats hanging around while everyone else gets to drink and smoke. "I am."
"Um."
"You got some way to move this?"
"I…" He pulls his shoulders in, a gesture that's just about the same for chimpanzees and humans. "I don't-. That's not really..."
"You can pay me in cigarettes and whiskey."
"I-." His eyes jerk up. "Damn it, they've-! Fine." He comes closer and lays his hands on the orb. "Hold on."
I clasp it with my feet. "How exactly are you going to-?"
The room shoots upwards around me!
"Aaagh!"
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Ngamer11
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I'm glad he's going by Detective Chimp. I can't wait until his detective skills become acknowledged by the superhero community.
I'm glad Detective Chimp likes Orange Lantern. That would make him an interesting pick if Paul ever needs to assemble a ragtag team of people who both like and trust him who aren't also members of the Team or the OLC.
It's great that scientists gave Detective Chimp the ability to speak like a human. Does Paul actually know this little tidbit?
Edit: That should say 'things'.
I see Mad Hatter is asking the wrong questions. If only Paul could've talked him down, they could've gotten started on what Batman is up to.
Assuming Mad Hatter is talked down and he learns that Paul is something of an outlier in the superhero community, he could be an interesting ally to have in the future, especially as he's a New God. Mr Zoat, does he have a defined domain yet?
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Chojin Patriarch
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Ooh, a Detective Chimp segment? Oh, I know, they call him Bobo, but as soon as I heard about an intelligence-boosted chimpanzee, my mind went right there. He's a fun idea, and this should be quite entertaining.
I mean, they are probably concerned about unexpected reactions to stimulants or medicines. Not much humane research on how our drugs affect our higher primate cousins.
That weird place between nature and nurture.
I can see that, finding out your entire existence has been a human joke.
Perhaps OL can assist him in getting emancipated and acquiring a private investigator's licence.
Heh. I see he knows how to look things up online, then. I assume that's how he knows who Tetch is.
Neatly summarising the current problem in a single line.
New God stuff. It's weird that way.
That's for them to deal with, really. For know, focus on what's right here, D.C.
Heh. I'm sure OL could hook you up with rejuvenation. Or some measure of life-extension trick.
And he's not joking. Chimpanzees are impressively strong for their size due to the way their muscles are arranged. A lot of power in those wiry arms.
If you can pull it off, you'll have earned a rejuvenation pass. ...Wonder what a Danner formula dose would do to him? Nothing at all because he's not 'human' enough spiritually (his biology would be pretty close to human,) or would he become a super-ape?
Not the most conventional thing to encounter in a modern science lab, after all.
I can see how he'd think of that, hearing a talking chimpanzee.
...Especially such a well-spoken chimpanzee.
Well caught, Tetch. Also, while the mouth structures are similar, they wouldn't produce the same phenomes easily.
That might have to wait while they sort out the stuff you did here, Jervis...
Ah, yes, the caterpillar... Wise but cryptic. I could see that and the smoking thing being tricky to find a willing participant for.
Nice to see him owning it. 'Bobo' is kind of a silly name, when you consider it.
Different character (Humpty Dumpty,) but a similar sentiment.
You have to admit, the 'harmless monkey' (and yes, I know, ape. Most people don't make that distinction casually...) is probably likely to be quite good at questioning people. Would you be wary of that handsome face?
An understandable motive, but perhaps you should find out more about the situation first, Jervis.
Definitely gotten the wrong end of the stick, hasn't he?
Well, at least he realises she's acting strange. Though he's probably misreading her alternate-universe behaviour wrong.
And even if they're not doing anything obviously villainous, his addled brain will probably decide that they are.
Admittedly, I wonder how much of that is the 'act' he used to do, or if he's developed actual investigative skills.
And knowing Sod's law, it's probably bigger than most any door in the room. Unless he was curled up real small in there...
Ah, he's noticed they've nobbled the OMACs. Ah well, fun while it lasted.
Presumably it can levitate on it's own, and Tetch has commanded it to go UP.
This promises to be entertaining, if a little surreal. Tetch and D.C. lifting off like the Great Glass Elevator, while OL and the Supergirls chase them.
That whole sentence sounds rather Pratchett-ish, doesn't it? I don't know what Tech is planning to do to get away, but it'll be interesting to see what he does do... In a car-crash kind of way, if nothing else.Darko
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"Understanding"
"He's"
Or that's just how Kryptonians from her universe are.
Mr Zoat
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Thnak you, corrected.
Knows he can talk? Yes. Knows that it was throat chirurgy? No, because that was a lie.
The SI doesn't know.
Thank you, corrected.
Ngamer11
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Then how can Detective Chimp talk?
Mr Zoat
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The Danner Formula canonically (Gladiator, 1930) works on frogs and cats, so it would probably work on a chimpanzee. Incidentally, both animals are still alive in this story.
Projecting metal energy to cause soundwaves using his thinker's cap derived implants.
NightmareWarden
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Interesting. No Orange text yet, but I'm sure the idea of generating his own hooch and such will ping for Paul. If he's looking. Also? No Yellow with the anti-life mention.
Batman is usually friends with Detective Chimp, right? Hmm. Well, Harley usually winds up with Joker, so I won't make assumptions on how he could contribute going forward.
Any fellow readers of the SciFi webcomic FREEFALL around here? Sapience, uplift, and spoilers.
Batman is usually friends with Detective Chimp, right? Hmm. Well, Harley usually winds up with Joker, so I won't make assumptions on how he could contribute going forward.
Any fellow readers of the SciFi webcomic FREEFALL around here? Sapience, uplift, and spoilers.
Mr Zoat
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I read that. I liked how they had a robot anti-uprising because they were too cheap to pay for normal robotic brains and so used Dr. Bowman's freeware design. I think that if one ever happened in real life it would be because of something like that.
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Duke Long
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'guards'?
Ha! Poor devil.
It's impressive that he can do what he can while presumably being years behind the cutting edge. That's a mad scientist for you, I suppose.
Extraneous speech mark.
I think this is a hush tube opening beneath the orb, not the orb flying. If the room shoots *upwards*, doesn't that mean the orb is going down?
Interesting development here. Detective Chimp is a fun perspective, and I like that he's willing to take Tetch seriously. I'm sort of hoping they escape and we get some chapters from their perspective trying to figure out what's going on with the GPA. Maybe we'll end up with a Conspiracy League forming from Tetch, Chimp, Machin and The Question.
LZB1285
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Bit of random spitballing here...
Can Tetch use the Globe because as he and it were effectively one, he has what is basically a backdoor admin account? Does that mean that anyone who was part of the broadcast system when the Life-Wave hit was encoded into all the connected New-God tech on the planet? Tech' which was then repurposed to build parts of the GPA system.
It would explain why the Batman/Mr Atom/The GPA wants to know where The Question is? and why they don't want to tell OL. Would you want to anyone that that you'd built a mind-control system with that many vulnerabilities (hero/villain/nutter) and you don't ever know where all of them are?
Can Tetch use the Globe because as he and it were effectively one, he has what is basically a backdoor admin account? Does that mean that anyone who was part of the broadcast system when the Life-Wave hit was encoded into all the connected New-God tech on the planet? Tech' which was then repurposed to build parts of the GPA system.
It would explain why the Batman/Mr Atom/The GPA wants to know where The Question is? and why they don't want to tell OL. Would you want to anyone that that you'd built a mind-control system with that many vulnerabilities (hero/villain/nutter) and you don't ever know where all of them are?
Mr Zoat
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BR549
This is filth! FILTH!!
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earlyriser
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I love Detective Chimp, can't wait to see how this turns out.
Sockmonkey
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Wasn't financial. The colony has startup issues and they needed the workforce. Bowman's design could use looser programming requirements due to being better at adapting.
The later almost-crisis was financial.
Khornelius
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HOW have I gone this long in the story and never realized Bobo the invisible Chimpanzee scientist was in actuality Detective CHIMP!??
Mr Zoat
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I try not to say rude things about my readers, so I'm going to claim that I don't know.
Sordid Snake
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"You know sunlight affects kryptonian muscle cells, right? Turns out it affects kryptonian nerve cells too..."
Stsword
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To be fair Detective Chimp isn't usually mechanically enhanced to have psychic powers.
Darko
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The links don't seem to work.