Chojin Patriarch
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Oh, yes, sit at the bar together. That's not going to look totally innocent if someone walks in.16th June 2012
20:23 GMT -5
"Okay!" Janet's eyes move around the recreation room without pausing on me. "Uh. Should I get a couch to lay on?"
"Janet, I'm not a qualified therapist." I sit down on a bar stool and gesture for her to take the seat next to me-. I look at the ring on my left hand. "Honestly, I'm probably closer to being a priest than anything else."
Hey, given the nature of the Marvel Universe, every religion has some measure of reality."'cause of the norn stone?" She shrinks, flies over to the seat and then enlarges herself again. "Do you wanna tell Thor, or shall I-? Or-? Are you serious about-?"
I shake my head. "These rings each come with a distant attachment to a… Primordial emotion elemental. So I'm technically requesting power from a semi-divine being every time I use it."
"Oh, like a-" She nods. "-D&D cleric, not like a real priest."
Not necessarily, given the number of demonic figures in the Marvel hells, but it could have informed some cosmic monomyth."Given that you're not living in the Garden of Eden, I think that Ophidian the Tempter is real enough."
"Garden-?" She leans away from me slightly, blinking rapidly. "You mean your ring gets powered by the snake from the Garden of Eden?"
Ironic that there are nearly no Angelic superheroes in the Marvel universe, at least to my knowledge. Not Abrahamic angels, just people with bird wings like Warren 'Angel/Arhangel' Worthington..."Supposedly. I haven't tried checking. That seems like it would be unwise. And I'm not sure if it's a literal description or a metaphorical one; were Adam and Eve tempted by an actual being who directly spoke to them, or was in a desire they already felt that led them astray?" I shrug. "If we ever run into an angel, I'll ask." Heh. "Though you'll note that all official Avengers documents and the website list Thor as the 'Prince of Thunder', from a species ancient humans worshipped 'as gods'."
Good idea. Last thing you want is to antagonise her, especially when Hank is already iffy about you."Yeah, but we all know what it really means." She sighs, relaxing slightly. "So… Okay, how do we start?"
I want to know what she thinks the problem in their relationship is. But… I remember… Someone? A sociology study where the person conducting it found that asking someone to describe his positive traits before asking them for a date resulted in a higher success rate. I don't want to push her towards a negative mindset when she'll inevitably associate that mindset with Henry.
No, that's how you became an Avenger. AMH!OL was asking about reasons, not opportunity."I don't think I've ever… Really asked, but what made you want to become an Avenger?"
"I was there when we all fought Graviton!"
At least here, it wasn't them being tricked into fighting against someone who would also have been a founding member. Ironic that Loki's silly trick ended up creating one of the premier teams of the Marvel universe."Yes, and I wasn't, I remember."
"No, I didn't mean-." She huffs. "It was like… Fate, y'know? All of us fighting together against a bad guy trying t' destroy the city?"
Quite a winsome one, I bet."I'm not convinced he was trying to destroy the whole city, but I take your point. Had you been..? Thinking about it before that? Becoming a superhero?"
She leans forwards slightly. "I had a costume ready."
Yeah, turns out there aren't muggings happening in every alley, despite what comics like to portray to give action moments."Had you been out before?"
"Sssssssort of." She sighs. "I went out a few times, but… Crime in New York's gone down a lot in the last twenty years. I couldn't find much to do. No supervillains, not even a mugging or something."
True, that's part and parcel of being the foremost superhero team. The Fantastic Four are too science-focused, the X-Men are mutant-focused, and other groups like the Defenders are too small-scale."And then there was Graviton, and the breakout."
She nods. "No trouble finding villains with the Avengers. And SHIELD's entire spy network. And literally every law enforcement agency in the country asking us for help when something goes crazy."
Because that can be a legitimate motivation for some 'heroes'."And what is it about this lifestyle that appeals to you?"
"Beating up bad guys!"
"Is it the rush of the fighting itself, or-."
...Which seems kind of pointless, if they're out cold and thus can't hear you."No." She looks aside for a moment. "Okay, a little bit, but it's mostly giving bad guys what they deserve. Stopping them hurting people or stealing stuff. I like being able to stand over them while they're laying knocked out on the ground and say 'Yeah! You're not gunna be able to hurt anyone for a looong time! Because you'll be in jail!'."
I'm sure he did. Hank has had quite the stormy relationship with superpower stuff over the years..."I don't remember hearing you say that."
"I said it-. Like, once, before you joined. Hank had a… Thing about it."
Not that they would hear it, unless there was someone filming it and they caught the video later."A thing?"
"A thing. You know?" I shake my head. "Like me saying it when they were unready unconscious would make them keep being criminals, rather than them just being bad people. And I don't wanna make his job harder or anything, but… Really?"
Yeah, non-committal noises are the 'thinking music' of conversations.She's looking at me like she's expecting something.
"Hm."
"So?"
Please, anyone can attempt therapy without a license. The trick if knowing what to say, which is where the education comes in."So I'm not on anyone's side-"
"Oh God, you actually are a therapist."
...Not inaccurate. They wouldn't have been there without reason, after all."-but what do you see happening with the escapees?"
She looks at me like she's not sure what I mean. "They go back to prison?"
Yes, that kind of goes with the territory."Why? I mean, obviously they've been sentenced, but I was wondering what you thought the purpose of it was?"
"Sooo they can't hurt people?"
Oh, well done, AMH!OL. Basically cut all the legs off her suggestion at the same time."They could hurt people in the prison. Including the guards and civilian workers. And they could escape again. And unless they've got a whole life tariff, then they'll eventually be released."
"I guess?" She shakes her head. "I don't get it."
Sadly not likely in comics, given the editors would like to keep marketable characters around. But this place does function closer to reality..."So what's the value of imprisonment over… Summary execution?"
"Ahhhummm…" Her face goes a little blank as she thinks about it. "I mean… If they've murdered people… They could be sentenced to death."
Hey, anything could happen in the middle of a fight. Human bodies tend to be surprisingly fragile, even super-powered ones."No, I mean, right there in the street. You don't want them to ever hurt anyone again. You could kill them."
"That's-. Like, super-illegal. That's murder."
Well, vigilantes who kill people do tend to attract a bad reputation. Consider the Punisher...."Ignoring Defence of Another statutes… Is that the only reason why you don't do it?"
"Huh?"
True, but killing is something that takes a certain sort of mind to consider, much less do without psychological issues later."Is the only reason why you didn't kill them because it was illegal. I mean, following on from your statement that they've brought it on themselves and you don't want them to hurt everyone else, killing them is significantly more reliable then returning them to a prison they've already escaped from."
True, Lady Death meets everyone in the end."I mean I… I mean I guess…"
"You guess death is reliable?"
She rolls her eyes. "No, death is reliable, I just-. Like… I dunno?"
Ah, there you go. Sudden realisation for the win."Okay. So, you beat them up, hand them to the police and off to prison they go. What do you want to happen next?"
"Well, I guess it would be nice if Hank could actually rehabilitate them for once-." She blinks. "Oh."
Good to keep that clear in her head, if nothing else."So, you don't want them to be killed, you want them to be rehabilitated."
"I… Guess..?"
True, as noted before, most Marvel villains aren't the sort to change without serious outside influences."I don't know the content of your mind, Janet. Do you or not?"
"I don't think it's gunna happen, but I'd like it to."
An amusing band of villains, and decidedly not an apocalypse cult like Kobra. And some of their number have been rehabilitated over the years in the main Universe."Okay. Now, do you think that Henry wants… The Serpent Society running around robbing places?"
"No-. He just-. … No."
Although bonding over beating costumed loonies probably helps their relationship sometimes."He just wants to do the rehabilitation bit, and you want to do the apprehending bit. Yeah?"
"Yeah?"
"But you both want someone doing the other bit. Yeah?"
I always pictured the symbol as a view down the Ophidian's gullet. Though for some reason I pictured her with four jaws for a long time."Yeah?" She weighs things up for a moment. "Yeah!" She smiles at me. "Hey, you're really good at this!"
I raise my right hand, fingers bending into an approximation of the shape of the fat man sigil of the Orange Lantern Corps as I bless her. "Praise be unto Ophidian the Tempter."
Hopefully he does address the main issue in a moment after setting her at ease. And for someone who's not a therapist, he's doing a decent job of it. I doubt a talk with Hank would be so easy to navigate, though. I just hope he isn't sitting there watching them through security cameras without sound and getting angrier and angrier...