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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

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Hachnslay said:
And it feels wrong to me.
Maybe a regional dialect thing.
I grew up learning British English. Can we get a third opinion?
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I grew up and still live in a British English enviroment and its fine to me.

Its implications are subtly different. Knockout is saying that her daughter has never felt even the slightest glimerings of any kind of love for another. it is a bit more extreme then your alternatives.
 
Mr Zoat said:
I didn't really think much of Irredeemable, and the ending was just insulting.
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yeah, regardless of the excuses/justifications for his insanity,implying that Kal-El was literally that psychopath's reincarnation was in REALLY bad taste/an insult to everything supes is/stands for.
the whole thing REEKS of Napier's bullshit self-delusion about everyone being a broken psychopath like him >.<
 
Ace Dreamer said:
Not sure what I might suggest, though, having an author-approved wiki, that might be pointed to for not recently used story characters doesn't seem a terrible idea. Main thing is not expecting the author to do significantly more work, because 'they must', of course.
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We have a wiki, the existence of which is approved by the author. That doesn't say terribly much about the content therein, of course.
 
Khettien said:
It is an archaically correct idiom. The phrasing violates modern English grammar, but the idiom predates modern grammar, so it's fine as is. English is like that.
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There's something that ESL (English as a Second Language) teachers are alleged to sometimes say.

"OK, I've taught you English, now you know it all. You want to understand what the English say? Now, go out and learn Shakespeare." :)
 
Zoat in the Archive story only part here on QQ on the episode 'Triumph of the will' there is a mistake near the end in the final chapter in which renegade talks to Clea.

The renegade says 'I couple you in touch' when it should be 'I could put you in touch'

Also when renegade talks to Orin about Venturia and that Majistra shows up for the first time Orin says 'I remembering' when it should be 'I remember' or 'I seem to remember'

When OL talks to Raquel about Helmut and thinks about Bleed Transmissions and equipment used to track it he says 'The Nazis haven't', maybe it could be 'The Nazis don't'.

Although the first one sounds fine he says it like they didn't have it in past, but with 'don't' you can clarify that they don't have it now.

Or you could just say 'the nazis haven't got that type of equipment'
 
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Darko said:
Zoat in the Archive story only part here on QQ on the episode 'Triumph of the will' there is a mistake near the end in the final chapter in which renegade talks to Clea.

The renegade says 'I couple you in touch' when it should be 'I could put you in touch'
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Also when renegade talks to Orin about Venturia and that Majistra shows up for the first time Orin says 'I remembering' when it should be 'I remember' or 'I seem to remember'[/quote]
Thank you, corrected.
When OL talks to Raquel about Helmut and thinks about Bleed Transmissions and equipment used to track it he says 'The Nazis haven't', maybe it could be 'The Nazis don't'.

Although the first one sounds fine he says it like they didn't have it in past, but with 'don't' you can clarify that they don't have it now.

Or you could just say 'the nazis haven't got that type of equipment'
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No, haven't got is fine.
 
There were some mistakes, like you wrote 'With could start' when it should be 'We could start'

'how to feel' should be 'how do you feel'

Either the Queen somehow took some of his DNA, or she birthed an entire generation with the right mindset for wielding a ring after OL gave her that book.

Well OL did consider taking over the Citadel and altering the clones so that he can give them the right mindset to wield rings and turn them from a force of oppression into something good.
 
Good to see Zoat subverting the trope of an alien man coming to Earth and impregnating human women.

Now here we have a human that has impregnated a giant alien spider and may have thousand of children with her.

Truly Zoat sometimes has the most interesting and unique of ideas.

Now for the reaction of the Team, the League, the rest of Earth, Vega, the OLC, the GLC when Guy spreads the word, and he would do that.

Truly the name Spider Fucker will follow OL whenever he goes out into space.

Bet being called Cake Man doesn't seem so bad now, does it Paul?
 
Vaermina said:
Remember back when the spider queen said she was experimenting with new breeds?

My guess, she used some of Paul's left behind DNA when doing so.
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Or created a breed with the right mindset to wield an orange power ring. He did give her his book on how you can get into the right headspace to wield an orange ring.
 
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Darko said:
Or created a breed with the right mindset the wield an orange power ring. He did give her his book on how you can get into the right headspace to wield an orange ring.
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Ah. And by making them consider Paul as father, they will be loyal at the same time.

Edit: And also loyal to the Spider Queen as well, I suppose.
 
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Hmm, if there is a version of Paul that ended up in the She Ra Princess of Power universe from the 2018 series, then that version of Paul could potentially somehow subvert control of the Horde from Horde Prime and alter the clones to have the right mindset to wield orange rings, like with what paragon wanted to do with the Citadel.

He'd get control over their galaxy/ies spanning empire and possibly millions if not billions of ring wielders.

I know Zoat doesn't like the series because of the artwork, which is a stupid reason, but it is an interesting idea.

And lord knows a version of Paul can greatly help Adora with her issues with her sister.

The romance between him, Hordak and Entrapta would also be an interesting thing to see. Hordak is a clone with daddy issues. Just like Paul likes his men.
 
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Darko said:
I know Zoat doesn't like the series because of the artwork, which is a stupid reason
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Not really, if it were a book or pure audio medium then yes, but as a comic/cartoon series, you've got to spend a lot of time looking at their stuff to get through it. If you can't stand the artwork, it'd be hard to stomach the series.
 
Plutonian (part 2)
  • Threadmarks
    • 12th April
    13:02 GMT +3

    "Ho, Arachneros! Did they throw you out?"

    I turn at the sound of Zosime's voice, and raise my right hand in greeting as she marches down the street towards me.

    "No, but since the whole point of coming here is to get King Orin and King Cyprian to come to understand one another's state of mind, I felt that my ongoing presence was at best a distraction."

    She comes to a halt just before me, and I notice that her civilian clothing is cut to show off as much of her reflective skin as it can without passing beyond what Amazons consider 'polite' clothing.

    "And at worst?"

    "I'd appear to be a threat by one party to the other. And 'arachneros'? Really?"

    She makes an amused snorting noise, raises her right fist with her index and middle fingers extended and then curves them.

    "Okay, one, her genital slit isn't the right shape for that to do anything, two, she's got one on each side, so-"

    I raise both fists, both index and middle fingers extended.

    "-you'd want both hands or you'd leave half of her wanting-"

    Zosime doubles over, wracked by silent hysteria.

    "-and three, with the size difference it's really more-"

    I clench my fists and punch with my right fist while drawing my left back. Then I punch with my left while withdrawing my right. Right forwards left back, left back right forward.

    A small crowd is beginning to congregate, and those closest are giggling and whispering explanations to those further back.

    "-like that. And anyway, I wouldn't want to claim the title based on a single encounter."

    "Wha-? Whe-? When do you think you should g-g-get it?"

    "When she invites me back having sent her attendants out of the room and having arranged for eggsitters and grubsitters to look after her offspring, and I walk in to find her pre-lubricated with decorative lace negligee covering her thorax."

    Zosime is still silently guffawing, but now she moues and a faint moaning sound emerges as I lean closer.

    "And now perhaps you've learned better than to try and embarrass a discordian."

    "Yes. Learned."

    I straighten up.

    "Because let me tell you, our last meeting was purely professional. She's doing well, her branch of the Guild is doing well, and there are absolutely no drider babies."

    Zosime pulls herself upright and makes an effort to compose herself.

    "Drider?"

    "Like a centaur, but rather than having horse-parts-."

    Her eyes widen, her mouth wobbles and she raises her right hand. "N-no, no, I can picture it."

    "Of course, it's not like I'm the only one. When I visited, I found out that they-. I don't know if they were paying customers, or if it was a mutual interest thing, but there were several people more directly engaged than I was, and without my excuse."

    She looks at me in disbelief.

    "There..?"

    "I mean, okay, sailors, but given that most of them had mixed sex crews they clearly had alternatives."

    "Do the..? Male spiders look like..?

    I generate a life size construct of a regular Guilder.

    "Like that."

    One of the women in the crowd takes a step closer, peering at it in clear distaste.

    "With-? With that? Why would anyone knowingly do such a thing?"

    "Really?" I gaze at her levelly. She returns my gaze, giving her head a small shake. "You've been on this island for three thousand years, and you've never even considered looking for a companion who isn't a human woman?"

    A couple of women in the crowd look away, while I walk closer to the spider-sceptic and lay my right arm over her shoulder.

    "Because if so, as a disciple of Eris, I feel obliged to help you out. We could start with a member of another humanoid species, or someone totally non-corporeal? Or how do you feel about automata?"

    That gets a slightly larger portion of the crowd shuffling. Even I've heard the jokes about how popular 'demi-automata massage aids' have become, and I'm hardly ever here. I'm pretty sure that Philippus was blushing when she asked me about getting Themyscira's power grid set up.

    I donated a bleed torsion generator to the cause.

    The sceptic brushes my arm off.

    "I'm perfectly happy with my wives, thank you. And-"

    My ring blinks.

    "-I am not-."

    "I'm very sorry." I raise my ring so that it's more obvious. "I need to take this. Answer."

    The Guilder construct is replaced by a full-sized image of Koriand'r, in traditional Tamaranean dress. That gets more than a few appreciative looks from the Themysciran women.

    "Lantern Koriand'r, what can I do for you?"

    She smiles at me.

    "Illustres. I have… A situation which I think you would want me to bring to your attention."

    "Okay, thank you for your consideration. What is-"

    She looks at something slightly out of shot.

    "-it?"

    "I have been trying to improve relations between the Queen of the Spider Guild and the rest of Vega. It is.. difficult, but I will maintain the peace."

    "I'm glad to hear it."

    "But the Queen-."

    Something, a small Guilder, jumps onto her shoulders and peers in the direction of the 'camera'.

    "Daddy?!"
     
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    • Mr Zoat said:
    Something, a small Guilder, jumps onto her shoulders and peers in the direction of the 'camera'.

    "Daddy?!"
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    AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    *breathes in*
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

    Paul is so fucked.

    Seriously though, how does that even work? Last time I checked human hands (or humanoid hands, since Paul is basically the New God of Avarice) don't produce any fluid aside from sweat, let alone sperm. Let alone SPIDER sperm. I mean, I've heard "my girlfriend is my right hand", but this is ridiculous.
     
    RichardWhereat said:
    Oh good, I was starting to worry you were hit by a bus or something.

    Are you wearing clean underwear?
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    At the time of posting I was in my summer pyjamas, which were clean on as of Wednesday.
    Doru said:
    Zoat, why does Paul suddenly have children. Why are said children part of the spider guild?

    Tell me, did Paul actually fuck the spider?
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    That depends on how you define 'fuck'. Clinton would have said 'no'.
    BlueMangoAdea said:
    Huh. The story only thread has been updated.
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    Yes, I forgot that I hadn't clicked on 'Post Reply'. I usually leave it a few minutes because that seems to make the Threadmark actually appear sometimes.
    Darko said:
    There were some mistakes, like you wrote 'With could start' when it should be 'We could start'

    'how to feel' should be 'how do you feel'
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    Thank you, corrected.
    Darko said:
    I know Zoat doesn't like the series because of the artwork, which is a stupid reason, but it is an interesting idea.
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    Compared to what?

    An annoying character won't be on screen all the time. An annoying plot either won't last for long or can ignored from the point of view of plot-quanta. Bad art? Bad art is always there. To ignore it you have to watch with your eyes shut.
     
    Prognostic Hannya said:
    Seriously though, how does that even work? Last time I checked human hands (or humanoid hands, since Paul is basically the New God of Avarice) don't produce any fluid aside from sweat, let alone sperm. Let alone SPIDER sperm.
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    He invoked Eris, on Themyscria.
     
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