"What?"
"What's that smell?"
When was the last time you visited the waking world, bird-brain? My guess would be he can smell the exhaust fumes of the cars with untainted nostrils.
"How old are you?"
"I was here to greet the first European settlers." He ruffles his wings. "My cries echoing out across the bay, welcoming them to a land where men might stand tall."
The inspiring 'sqwark' of a typical
Bald Eagle? That's right, folks. They overdub the far more impressive-sounding cry of a
Red-tailed Hawk over in films and TV, because Reality Is Unrealistic...
"Funny, I don't remember Leif Erikson mentioning that."
He swivels his head towards me. "Who?"
Oh, right, he's a
zeitgeist of the American Eagle, not the real thing. So he probably
would sound like people imagine it to. And knows the
history of 'Vinland' about as well.
I roll my eyes, and he goes back to watching for… Whatever eagelic manifestations of American Freedom watch for. "I mean, compared to the older American cities, I don't believe that Washington DC smells that bad."
"Are you talking about shit?"
Also something of an illusion people believe. 'Old places stank of shit' and the like?
Probably not all that accurate. Horse droppings? Maybe.
Human droppings, not so much...
"Shit, sweat, the unwashed masses with limited access to sanitation. Things like that."
"I'm an eagle. I don't care about human shit. Unless there's blood it in."
One thing old paintings, photographs and films can't capture: The
smell of people en-masse.
"Why, what's..?"
"Well, I wouldn't kill a human, but if they're going to die anyway there's no point wasting the meat."
Sure you'd
want to eat meat that might be poisonous?
"Ah… Just… Let me know if you smell… Human blood like that while I'm here."
"You want some?"
Thankfully, OL isn't
that kind of Humanitarian.
"No, but I'm willing to trade American food for the opportunity to get people medical attention."
"Deal."
Bird-boy gets fed either way, so no fluff off his beak.
"So… Do you have a name, or are you just The Eagle of Freedom?"
"That's not a name, that's a title." He points his wing out in what can't be a natural gesture for an eagle. "What's over that way?"
Can't call him
Sam, that'd get too confusing. How about
Roger?
"About a quarter of the city? In a direct line…" Fiddlesticks. "The White House, where Uncle Sam is currently visiting."
"Sam doesn't smell like that."
Well, that's
two data points about the present Uncle Sam being 'fake'. If he can get three, that takes it from Coincidence to
Enemy Action.
"Well, maybe…" I take another look at the crowd. A few people are just following us along, creating an obstacle for the traffic as we go. "Don't talk about it where other people might hear that and report back?"
"Oh, no. None of these people can hear me. I'm a spirit animal."
Well, shit. At least no-one's been hearing their
distinct commentary on Modern America.
So they've been recording me talking to an eagle… Acting like I was having a conversation with an eagle-.
"Okay, but they can see you, can't they?"
Don't worry, OL. I doubt this will
ever displace 'Cake-Man' as a nickname in the American public's consciousness...
"Of course they can see me, I'm a giant bald eagle. Did you think they were seeing a budgie?"
"I don't know, you're a spirit animal. Last time I dealt with a spirit animal for any length of time, it was a construct enslaved to my ring. And it died."
Dangit, OL, why'd you have to remind us about
Teekl?
"Yes, they all see a huge and glorious eagle, and they feel just a bit more proud and liberated. That's why they're following us."
"No, I think that's more of a 'follow the fuckhead' thing. We're street theatre."
I think most of them are waiting for something to
explode. That also seems to be a common occurrence around you.
"No, I'm pressing their cultural buttons and making their spirits resonate with the soul of the nation." He spreads his wings and poses for the crowd. "Feel my American spirit!"
"You said they can't understand you."
...I'd be more worried if any of them
could.
"No, I said they can't understand what I'm saying."
"I could set my rings to translate for you, if you want."
Complete with your choice of dubbed voice!
"This is a spiritual journey for you. It's not supposed to be for everyone."
"Like A-."
I don't think you're going to turn
OL into a red-blooded American guy...
"Yes like America. Everyone has a chance to soar, everyone has a chance to plummet to their death because they misjudged a thermal. Do you see a parachute on my back?"
"No."
Would you like one? I'm sure OL could fabricate
something that'd fit.
"No. That's right. And speaking of America, where's the Japanese embassy?"
"Massachusetts Avenue. Why?"
Ah, looking to consult with a certain ex-pat embodiment?
"Not a lot of Shinto shrines around here, but there should be one in the embassy."
I frown. "I can just fly us to-."
If you were about to say 'Japan', I would ask whether Roger there would cease to exist corporeally if you left the bounds of American territory...
He flaps his wings as if to demonstrate his vigour. "I'm not a cripple, I'm just inclined to preserve my energy. It's a wild predator thing."
I pick up the perch and fly towards the embassy, to the pronounced disappointment of the crowd. "You mean lazy."
Living up to the average American, then? ...
I kid, I kid.
"It's instinctual."
"Why do we need a Shinto shrine?"
Well, who
put you onto this sub-plot, OL? Plus, you can check on how Susano-o-no-mikoto is going with Shazam...
"I know Lady Liberty 'diversified her portfolio', and I need to talk to her."
"Will she understand what you're saying?"
...Consider
who you're talking to, OL. Just because she moved overseas, doesn't mean she stopped being
American.
"Of course she'll understand what I'm saying. We're part of the same pantheon, even if she has jumped ship."
"And you're not upset about that?"
Pfft. She got the job she
wants, not the job she could get.
"It's not easy being a spiritual manifestation in a monotheistic country. Besides, the Japanese could use some personal liberty."
"I'm pretty sure they've got liberty."
...
Eh. The American
idea probably isn't really a good fit with the Japanese national character.
"No, the doors open, but their minds are stuck in their pens. You know?"
"I know what you mean, but I'm not sure you're right."
And
I'm not sure if that's going to piss anyone off. So let's agree
not to argue?
"Let me know when you become a spirit animal."
I stop in the air and stare at him, my human body retreating and my snake body coming to the fore.
Chicken,
please. His
soul is a snake. Your argument is
invalid.
"Like now?"
"Ooooh I just guanoed myself. Okay. Spirit snake animal. Yeah."
Well, if you made a mess,
you'll be cleaning it up, Roger.
"Right. I've just got a job."
"I have a job. And when I find him I'm going to peck Uncle Sam in the face until he gets back to doing his."
That depends on
which one you find.