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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Wasn't it Grayven that wanted Earth to be an Empire?

No, it was when they were in the town with the telepath and the sheeda gas drone thing that was making groups of 7 kill themselves. The drone used machine telepathy to bypass OL's mental shields and OL was impressed it could do that, otherwise it couldn't have known he wanted Earth to be an Empire
 
Creation's Commandos (part 10) New
15th December 2023
11:02 GMT -5


"I don't get it." Peacemaker leans towards the car window as he watches Miss Quinn walk down the street. "She's murdered dozens of people, and she's just walking around in the open?"

General Flag settles for watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Sure looks like it."

I reach across and grab Mr. Smith's hand as he goes to open the car door. "Peace, Peacemaker. We are serving a higher good."

He turns to face me, clearly aggrieved. "But she goes to Heaven, right? I shoot her, her soul turns back into Harleen Quinzel and Harley Quinn stops existing. So killing her is good for everyone!"

I regard him placidly, placing both hands on his shoulders. "It is not good for you to default to killing people every time that you run into difficulty. I am concerned for the state of your soul, Peacemaker. I believe that you are a fundamentally good man, but you need to learn restraint and proportionality."

"But murder is proportionate to murder! It's exactly the same thing!"

"While she is guilty of ethics violations for her treatment of the Joker, her later offences were committed under the influence of Smilex, just like his."

"I know, which-" He nods in an exaggerated motion. "-means that she goes to Heaven when she dies."

"Which means that I can cure her, making murder disproportionate."

He drops back into his seat, arms moodily folded across his chest. "Fine."

There's a knock on the window, and we both turn to see Miss Quinn peering in. Her eyes widen slightly as she confirms the presence of Peacemaker, then she beams with delight, hopping up and down and waving.

General Flag winds down his window. "Doctor Quinzel?"

Her head jerks around to look at him. "Oh hoiy! Yous knows Peacemakah?"

Flag doesn't smile back. "Yeah. You wanna get in?"

She pulls back slightly, and I see the intelligence crowd out her Smilex-induced mania. "I don't think I showd get int' a cawr with strange men."

"Alright. My name is Richard Flag. I believe you knew my son, Richard Flag Junior."

Her eyes widen.

"And you're Doctor Harleen Quinzel. And now we're all friends-"

She's already dashing around to the passenger side door.

"-you can.. get in."

She springs into the seat and closes the door. "Where we gowin, Dick Seenyah?!"

Peacemaker snorts with amusement, and I see Miss Quinn watching his response in the rear view mirror as General Flag pulls away from the curb.

Being exposed to Smilex doesn't make you stupid.

Then she spots me, and looks… Probably about as serious as she can.

"Royt, Senyeh. So awr you a psychopomp an' weyah awl dead already? If you awr, good job, 'cause I didn' feel a thing."

"No, Miss Quinn."

"'caws Peacemakah doyd, and… Seenyah, weyl, he don't look so young no mowah."

"Even so."

"I didn't die." Peacemaker blinks confusedly. "I just got shot in the throat and had a building fall on me. I was fine."

Miss Quinn pulls a face, nodding. Then she leans over to General Flag. "I see dead people." She nods. "They don't know they're dead."

"I'm not dead." Peacemaker rotates his head to face me. "I'm not dead, right?"

"You're not dead."

"Okay." He doesn't sound confident. "Because a guy could survive getting shot in the throat if it missed the artery and windpipe or he got a doctor to fix it right away, and a guy could survive a building falling on him if he got really lucky, but I just realised that the only reason I'm still alive is that Waller decided to rescue me and that doesn't sound at all realistic."

Miss Quinn shrugs. "Maybe she loiks you."

He shakes his head. "I don't think so."

"It could be. Women's sex droyves increase when they hit menopaws."

His eyes widen. "Then I really hope not."

General Flag shakes his head. "I didn't need that image, Quinzel. How come she hasn't picked you up again after you blew up that chemical plant?"

"Blackmail." She shrugs. "Anythin' happen t'me, everything I got on her goes out on the internet."

"Bloodsport thinks she'd go after him if he ever came back to the United States."

"Maybe what he's gawt ain't what oi gawt."

Peacemaker leans forwards. "What d'you mean? You took copies of the Corto Maltese files, same as him."

"Yeyeh, see, that wasn't exactly my furst rodeo. I was orwn a nother Suicide Sqward mission seven yeyahs agow."

Flag nods. "What mission was that?"

"Midway City. See, I figahd, aftah Corto Maltese, maybe I needed somethin' a bit strongah. An' that when I remembered what Deadshot and Rick Junior tol' me about what Wallah did in Midway."

I frown. "And what was that?"

"Murdered a whole room fullah her own goys." She raises her right hand, making a gun gesture. "Pop pop pop. So oi went back theyah, found some shell casin's, and Rick's body camera recowdin', and oi figu'ed that was awl oi needed. "



General Flag focuses extremely closely on the road. Peacemaker jerks upright and hits his helmet on the roof.

Which leaves me. "Miss Quinn, I understand that you and the Joker have parted ways."

"Yeyah. We have."

"In that case, I have a number of services I am willing to offer you."

She frowns in exaggerated confusion. "I don't pay fer it. An' ain't that kinda a weird business fer an angel?"

I.. blink. "I can get rid of your bomb implant, and I can undo the effect that the Smilex has had on you. In exchange, I would ask that you share what you have, so that Amanda Waller can be punished for her actions."

"Pff, no."

I pause to allow her to expand her answer, but she doesn't.

"Which part are you refusing?"

"Oh, yous can get rid a' the bomb, and screw Waller, but I'm keepin' my brain how it is. I euwned this, an' I actually loik it."

"Ah, I understand." I nod. "Even separated, you still pine for him."

Her eyes narrow. "Yous take that back."

"It's a very common, especially in abusive relationships which so define a person's life. You have my eternal sympathy and understanding, and I shall trouble you on the subject no more."

"B-low me."

That-.

Hm.

15th December 2023
11:28 GMT -5


I lower the flannel from my mouth as the blushing Dr. Quinzel hands the data stick to General Flag. "This shows the whole thing. I hope you nail that bitch to a wawll."

He nods. "That's the plan."
 
Last edited:
"Which means that I can cure her, making murder disproportionate."

He drop back into his seat, arms moodily folder across his chest. "Fine."
'folded'

What the heck was that at the end? And… in a car full of people? Really? I hope I'm misunderstanding here because that's mental.
 
15th December 2023
11:02 GMT -5


"I don't get it." Peacemaker leans towards the car window as he watches Miss Quinn walk down the street. "She's murdered dozens of people, and she's just walking around in the open?"

General Flag settles for watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Sure looks like it."
Admittedly, the most recent lot weren't good people, I suspect. Which includes Black Mask and Victor Zsasz. Unless she's been busy since she parted ways with the heroines she met then. Entirely possible, depending on the canonicity of the animated series. (I suspect it ain't.)

I reach across and grab Mr. Smith's hand as he goes to open the car door. "Peace, Peacemaker. We are serving a higher good."

He turns to face me, clearly aggrieved. "But she goes to Heaven, right? I shoot her, her soul turns back into Harleen Quinzel and Harley Quinn stops existing. So killing her is good for everyone!"
Bro, you don't need to kill every bad person you meet. The Punisher, you aren't.

I regard him placidly, placing both hands on his shoulders. "It is not good for you to default to killing people every time that you run into difficulty. I am concerned for the state of your soul, Peacemaker. I believe that you are a fundamentally good man, but you need to learn restraint and proportionality."
In other words, chill.

"But murder is proportionate to murder! It's exactly the same thing!"

"While she is guilty of ethics violations for her treatment of the Joker, her later offences were committed under the influence of Smilex, just like his."
In other words, it's not proportional.

"I know, which-" He nods in an exaggerated motion. "-means that she goes to Heaven when she dies."

"Which means that I can cure her, making murder disproportionate."
And besides, would you want to deprive the world of her marvellous presence?

He drop back into his seat, arms moodily folder across his chest. "Fine."

There's a knock on the window, and we both turn to see Miss Quinn peering in. Her eyes widen slightly as she confirms the presence of Peacemaker, then she beams with delight, hopping up and down and waving.
Doing marvellous things to her presence, no doubt. 😘

General Flag winds down his window. "Doctor Quinzel?"

Her head jerks around to look at him. "Oh hoiy! Yous knows Peacemakah?"
...Reluctantly. I guess she doesn't really notice his resemblance to his son, though, or is hiding it.

Flag doesn't smile back. "Yeah. You wanna get in?"

She pulls back slightly, and I see the intelligence crowd out her Smilex-induced mania. "I don't think I showd get int' a cawr with strange men."
Wise lady. Though if it were anyone else, she'd probably be the most dangerous one in the car.

"Alright. My name is Richard Flag. I believe you knew my son, Richard Flag Junior."

Her eyes widen.

"And you're Doctor Harleen Quinzel. And now we're all friends-"
Yeah, this isn't a simple courtesy visit. I suspect you had her attention before but now you have her interest.

She's already dashing around to the passenger side door.

"-you can.. get in."

She springs into the seat and closes the door. "Where we gowin, Dick Seenyah?!"
...She's just doing that to be annoying, isn't she?

Peacemaker snorts with amusement, and I see Miss Quinn watching his response in the rear view mirror as General Flag pulls away from the curb.

Being exposed to Smilex doesn't make you stupid.
Murderous, yes. Detached from conventional morality, definitely. Stupid, no. Just look at Joker, especially in the comics. Some of his plans were complex, if a little cracked now and again.

Then she spots me, and looks… Probably about as serious as she can.

"Royt, Senyeh. So awr you a psychopomp an' weyah awl dead already? If you awr, good job, 'cause I didn' feel a thing."
He's not nearly perky, gothic or female enough for that.

"No, Miss Quinn."

"'caws Peacemakah doyd, and… Seenyah, weyl, he don't look so young no mowah."
Sadly, all four of you remain amongst the living.

"Even so."

"I didn't die." Peacemaker blinks confusedly. "I just got shot in the throat and had a building fall on me. I was fine."
...Usually, either of those things is enough to kill people.

Miss Quinn pulls a face, nodding. Then she leans over to General Flag. "I see dead people." She nods. "They don't know they're dead."

"I'm not dead." Peacemaker rotates his head to face me. "I'm not dead, right?"
This isn't the Sixth Sense, and there's not nearly enough Bruce Willis in here for that gag. ...Unless you've been picturing him as Rick Senior?

"You're not dead."

"Okay." He doesn't sound confident. "Because a guy could survive getting shot in the throat if it missed the artery and windpipe or he got a doctor to fix it right away, and a guy could survive a building falling on him if he got really lucky, but I just realised that the only reason I'm still alive is that Waller decided to rescue me and that doesn't sound at all realistic."
Yeah, those sort of odds... You'd have better luck of winning the lottery jackpot. In America.

Miss Quinn shrugs. "Maybe she loiks you."

He shakes his head. "I don't think so."
Well, he is dumb, skilled and follows orders well enough, mostly.

"It could be. Women's sex droyves increase when they hit menopaws."

His eyes widen. "Then I really hope not."
Why you gotta put that image in our heads, Harley? 😒

General Flag shakes his head. "I didn't need that image, Quinzel. How come she hasn't you picked up again after you blew up that chemical plant?"

"Blackmail." She shrugs. "Anythin' happen t'me, everything I got on her goes out on the internet."
Must be good shit, then. Otherwise she'd have pulled your pin instead.

"Bloodspot thinks she'd go after him if he ever came back to the United States."

"Maybe what he's gawt ain't what oi gawt."
The really good shit, then.

Peacemaker leans forwards. "What d'you mean? You took copies of the Corto Maltese files, same as him."

"Yeyeh, see, that wasn't exactly my furst rodeo. I was orwn a nother Suicide Sqward mission seven yeyahs agow."
People don't talk about that one, though. To the point the DCEU only kind of recognises it as canon.

Flag nods. "What mission was that?"

"Midway City. See, I figahd, aftah Corto Maltese, maybe I needed somethin' a bit strongah. An' that when I remembered what Deadshot and Rick Junior tol' me about what Wallah did in Midway."
Goes to show, she is no idiot, Smilex-induced looniness or not.

I frown. "And what was that?"

"Murdered a whole room fullah her own goys." She raise her right hand, making a gun gesture. "Pop pop pop. So oi went back theyah, found some shell casin's, and Rick's body camera recowdin', and oi figu'ed that was awl oi needed. "
Man, Waller must have been distracted if she didn't have all that cleaned up after things blew over.



General Flag focuses extremely closely on the road. Peacemaker jerk upright and hits his helmet on the roof.
Yeah, that would be solid gold material for getting Waller in deep shit.

Which leaves me. "Miss Quinn, I understand that you and the Joker have parted ways."

"Yeyah. We have."
Noisily and violently, I bet.

"In that case, I have a number of services I am willing to offer you."

She frowns in exaggerated confusion. "I don't pay fer it. An' ain't that kinda a weird business fer an angel?"
Admittedly, while I'm sure his prowess would be heavenly, that's more of an Incubus thing.

I.. blink. "I can get rid of your bomb implant, and I can undo the effect that the Smilex has had on you. In exchange, I would ask that you share what you have, so that Amanda Waller can be punished for her actions."

"Pff, no."
...Is that a blanket no, or do we have to guess which parts you object to?

I pause to allow her to expand her answer, but she doesn't.

"Which part are you refusing?"
Harley apparently tends to forget her inner monologue is just that: Inner.

"Oh, yous can get rid a' the bomb, and screw Waller, but I'm keepin' my brain how it is. I euwned this, an' I actually loik it."

"Ah, I understand." I nod. "Even separated, you still pine for him."

Her eyes narrow. "Yous take that back."
Ooh, yeah. Big old berserk button there.

"It's a very common, especially in abusive relationships which so define a person's life. You have my eternal sympathy and understanding, and I shall trouble you on the subject no more."

"B-low me."
...Is that a request, or..? 😘

Lan, no, that was not... :eek:

15th December 2023
11:28 GMT -5


I lower the flannel from my mouth as the blushing Dr. Quinzel hands the data stick to General Flag. "This shows the whole thing. I hope you nail that bitch to a wawll."

He nods. "That's the plan."
...I'm sure there's a perfectly polite explanation for all this.

Okay, that went... Places. Hopefully places I hope aren't the ones everyone seems to think they are. Otherwise, Harley might have something new to brag about to her friends. Possibly involving paralytic cunnilingus. Still, despite the embarrassment the guys might be experiencing, they did get what they wanted: More dirt on Waller. So... 😏 Bonus?

He drop back into his seat, arms moodily folder across his chest. "Fine."
He drops back into his seat, arms moodily folder across his chest. "Fine."
"Bloodspot thinks she'd go after him if he ever came back to the United States."
"Bloodsport thinks she'd go after him if he ever came back to the United States."
 
General Flag focuses extremely closely on the road. Peacemaker jerk upright and hits his helmet on the roof.
That should say 'jerks'.

I lower the flannel from my mouth as the blushing Dr. Quinzel hands the data stick to General Flag. "This shows the whole thing. I hope you nail that bitch to a wawll."

He nods. "That's the plan."
I hope once Lan gets his memories back that he remembers this and mentions it to the Harley he was teammates with.
 
He turns to face me, clearly aggrieved. "But she goes to Heaven, right? I shoot her, her soul turns back into Harleen Quinzel and Harley Quinn stops existing. So killing her is good for everyone

Not necessarily.

Joker is basically a completely separate personality, while Harley is fairly close to Harleen.


"drops"

"I didn't die." Peacemaker blinks confusedly. "I just got shot in the throat and had a building fall on me. I was fine

He just walked it off.

I'm not dead, right?"

"You're not dead."

"Okay." He doesn't sound confident

He could be thinking that you're telling him that to make him feel better.

Because a guy could survive getting shot in the throat if it missed the artery and windpipe or he got a doctor to fix it right away, and a guy could survive a building falling on him if he got really lucky, but I just realised that the only reason I'm still alive is that Waller decided to rescue me and that doesn't sound at all realistic."

He might not be the brightest, but he does make several excellent points.

Miss Quinn shrugs. "Maybe she loiks you."

He shakes his head. "I don't think so

And even if she liked him, that's not necessarily a good thing.

It could be. Women's sex droyves increase when they hit menopaws."

His eyes widen. "Then I really hope not

Wouldn't be the first time you slept with someone that would kill you in a heartbeat.

General Flag shakes his head. "I didn't need that image, Quinzel. How come she hasn't you picked up again after you blew up that chemical plant

Hear the words you are saying.

She blew up a chemical plant.

Not exactly a stable person.

"Blackmail." She shrugs. "Anythin' happen t'me, everything I got on her goes out on the internet

Smart, though there is a problem.

If it can be proved that you're the one that released it then it could cast serious doubts on its authenticity.


"raises"

"Murdered a whole room fullah her own goys." She raise her right hand, making a gun gesture. "Pop pop pop. So oi went back theyah, found some shell casin's, and Rick's body camera recowdin', and oi figu'ed that was awl oi needed

Yeah.

Her people may be fine with her committing ethical, moral and legal violations against others, but not on them.

Peacemaker jerk upright and

"jerks"

"In that case, I have a number of services I am willing to offer you."

She frowns in exaggerated confusion. "I don't pay fer it. An' ain't that kinda a weird business fer an angel

Using sex to get converts isn't exactly new to religions.

"B-low me."

That-.

Hm.

15th December 2023
11:28 GMT -5


I lower the flannel from my mouth as the blushing Dr. Quinzel hands the data stick to General Flag

Well...that happened.

For some reason I'm now imagining Harley and Ivy getting together and inviting Lan here to make their own Garden of Eden.
 
He drops back into his seat, arms moodily folder across his chest. "Fine."
"Bloodsport thinks she'd go after him if he ever came back to the United States."
That should say 'jerks'.
Thank you, corrected.
For some reason I'm now imagining Harley and Ivy getting together and inviting Lan here to make their own Garden of Eden.
To be clear, Lan did that because he wanted her to consent to having the Smilex changes undone. We are now dealing with a fully functional Dr. Harleen Quinzel.
 
To be clear, Lan did that because he wanted her to consent to having the Smilex changes undone. We are now dealing with a fully functional Dr. Harleen Quinzel.
Now I really want to see how this will play out.

Pretty sure it'd be impossible for them to meet again because the universe he originally came from was rebooted twice.
So long as Paul has the resources, you can't be certain they won't reset reality to fix something if nothing else will. That is what happened to Time Trapper Paul after all.
 
A short distance away Michael and Ted are crouched behind a van as the Frankensteins close in, cackling as they do so. Above them, J'onn is firing his martian vision at Guy, who… Appears to be in effeminate mode and blocking without doing anything else. There's some sort of device on J'onn's head and it's not that hard to work out why.
Guy has one of those? Also, the link for Guy's image no longer works.
I knew Mumm-Ra was human from my analysis of the scraps of flesh that I've torn off him during our fights. I didn't know how he became a liche or how his magic worked, and I wasn't sure if he recognised what I am. He never mentioned it, but it's not as if we were having long conversations. I-.
Unless you're talking about the fruit, or there's a different spelling for it, I believe the proper spell is "lich"
"Lantern Lord Protector." A translucent apparition I still just about recognise appears in the room. Humanoid, blank face with some sort of scar on the forehead and wearing blue and red robes. Last time I saw someone like him they were picking a fight with Larfleeze. In a comic book. I don't think Controllers even exist in this universe, and I've certainly never met one. So where is this fellow from? And why did he take so long to make contact? "I have need of your service."
Interesting that almost every single one reacts in the same way.
The next day, a dozen or so people woke up undead and everyone else remained dead. And every attempt they made to reverse things or create new living humans was undone by the lingering effects of ritual that made them.
What happened to the rest?
"I'm pretty sure I'm doing that,
Except.. that one, but she was really fat
."
"Wherever you left them?
That's your thing? Go get 'em
."
Can he only talk in rhyme? Or was he inspired by Etrigan?
I lay my hands on Queen Slug-For-A-Butt's tail and extend my orange aura over her.

"Do you want a demon queen?
I warn you now, she's rather mean
."

"I will take it."
Did that really work?
"I doubt there's much I can do for you. I don't have a power ring-." Oh. "And it just occurred to me that you might be responsible for me being here in the first place. Explain yourself."
He doesn't have a power ring? Which one is this?
I nod and transition behind and below him, reflecting a few atoms in his shorts into anti-matter before raising a shield just in time-
Reflecting as in "converting from matter to antimatter" or something else?
Goodness me I love her. I just hope that doesn't gives her a Mohican too.

I don't wanna sound like a whiney bitch-.
Google says the more commonly used spelling is "whiny" although both are correct. It isn't even a British vs American thing either somehow.
"I shall try not to take that personally."
Ranx?
No. He's literally convincing the universe that gravity works in the wrong direction.
I-Wouldn't it be easier to do what I mentioned instead?
Middle name plus mother's maiden name.
Right, didn't another SI do the same once?
It's not really practical. Just about any sort of shield he could make would block air, and he's not that good at that sort of technique anyway.
Too bad this world doesn't have Dune shields.
Then he knows nothing. This happened with the show about the ex-cop killing escaped demons.
Right. Wonder how that one's doing.
He's seeing residual emotion, not emotions being felt by people.
Yeah I got that, can he see other emotions or just fear? If so, why can the Paragon see other emotions?
For orange I just use color=orange.
Incredible.
Welcome to comic books.
I'm well aware of the BS, it's just that there's very few things in that universe that can stop them.
You either use sonic weaponry, or throw them in the sun and keep them there for a few minutes.
Also aware of that, but thank you.
 
Guy has one of those?
Yes. Guy received a traumatic head injury which resulted in unsettling personality changes sometimes.
Also, the link for Guy's image no longer works.
Works fine for me. Anyone else?
Unless you're talking about the fruit, or there's a different spelling for it, I believe the proper spell is "lich"
Not in my country, colonial.
What happened to the rest?
The rest of what? If you mean the planet's population, they died.
Can he only talk in rhyme?
Yes. If you gain a certain level of power as a demon, you start rhyming.
Did that really work?
Yes.
He doesn't have a power ring? Which one is this?
Paul Freeman, the one who ended up on Nazi Earth. Naturally, they took his ring and haven't given it back.
Reflecting as in "converting from matter to antimatter" or something else?
Essentially. Anti-matter has a very similar structure to matter.
Google says the more commonly used spelling is "whiny" although both are correct. It isn't even a British vs American thing either somehow.
Thank you, corrected.
Yes.
I-Wouldn't it be easier to do what I mentioned instead?
No. Moving yourself rapidly with telekinesis is actually really hard.
Too bad this world doesn't have Dune shields.
Those lose to knives.
Yeah I got that, can he see other emotions or just fear? If so, why can the Paragon see other emotions?
The SI can see other emotions in people.
hasn't picked you up
Thank you, corrected.
 
I'm not sure the argument that killing Harley would just send Harleen to Heaven works with the DCEU incarnation of Harleen. She was already kind of a shitty person even before she met the Joker, and she willingly chose to follow him and expose herself to those chemicals even knowing what he was.

Really, most incarnations of her are pretty shit for falling for and enabling the goddamn Joker. So I don't really think she has the same excuse the Joker - potentially - has. Since at least with him, when one uses the Red Hood backstory anyways, you can say he never wanted to be a bad person even before he became the Joker.
 
I am sure this has been discussed to death (i wouldn't know, i read story only thread), however I decided to ask our future AI overlords for advice.

Courtesy of DeepSeek:

Based on your criteria—continuation of existence, autonomy, capacity for thought, optional bodily functions, and avoidance of eternal torture—the most reasonable afterlife provider among Earth's religions would likely be a combination of **Ancient Egyptian religion** (specifically the Osirian afterlife) and **modern Reform/Universalist Unitarian interpretations of Christianity or liberal branches of Judaism**. Here's why:

### **Top Contenders:**
1. **Ancient Egyptian Religion (Osirian Afterlife)**
- **Continuation of Existence:** The afterlife (the Field of Reeds) is a perfected version of earthly life.
- **Autonomy & Thought:** The deceased retain their identity, memories, and agency.
- **Bodily Functions:** The body is restored in the afterlife (hence mummification).
- **No Eternal Torture:** While the "second death" (annihilation) was a risk for the wicked, there was no concept of eternal torment.
- **Downside:** Requires passing the Weighing of the Heart (moral test), but this was achievable for most non-criminals.

2. **Liberal Christianity (Universalist/Unitarian Views)**
- **Continuation of Existence:** Heaven is eternal, often conceived as a state of peace and fulfillment.
- **Autonomy & Thought:** Some interpretations allow for personal growth and free will in the afterlife.
- **Bodily Functions:** Some denominations (like Catholicism) believe in bodily resurrection.
- **No Eternal Torture:** Universalist Christianity rejects Hell entirely, believing all souls are reconciled with God.

3. **Reform Judaism (Olam Ha-Ba - The World to Come)**
- **Continuation of Existence:** The righteous enjoy a spiritual afterlife (sometimes with bodily resurrection in later traditions).
- **Autonomy & Thought:** Descriptions vary, but it's often seen as a place of learning and closeness to God.
- **No Eternal Torture:** Classical Judaism lacks a strong concept of Hell; Gehenna is temporary purification.

4. **Buddhism (Pure Land or Higher Rebirths)**
- **Continuation of Existence:** Rebirth in a Pure Land (like Amitabha's) offers a pleasant existence until enlightenment.
- **Autonomy & Thought:** Mental faculties remain intact.
- **No Eternal Torture:** Even the worst hells in Buddhism are temporary.
- **Downside:** The ultimate goal is escaping rebirth (nirvana), which may not align with your desire for continued existence.

### **Worst Options (Based on Your Criteria):**
- **Traditional Christianity (Infernalist):** Eternal Hell is a dealbreaker.
- **Islam (Jahannam):** While Paradise is great, eternal Hell is a risk.
- **Ancient Greek Hades:** Most souls end up in the Asphodel Meadows (a dull, shadowy existence).
- **Aztec Religion:** Afterlife options were limited and often unpleasant.

### **Final Recommendation:**
If you want a **guaranteed pleasant, autonomous, embodied afterlife without eternal torture**, the **Osirian afterlife (Ancient Egyptian religion)** is the best fit. If you prefer a modern theistic option, **Universalist Christianity** or **Reform Judaism** would be the most reasonable choices.

Would you like a tailored "afterlife insurance plan" based on these options?

### **Afterlife Insurance Plan: Optimal Continuation of Existence**
**Objective:** Maximize chances of a pleasant, autonomous afterlife with bodily functions while minimizing risk of eternal torture.

#### **Step 1: Primary Belief System (Best Odds)**
**Religion:** **Ancient Egyptian (Osirian Cult)**
- **Mechanism:** Proper burial + heart weighed against Ma'at (truth/justice).
- **Afterlife:** Field of Reeds (idealized Egypt with full faculties).
- **Risk Assessment:**
- **Success Rate:** High (if you lived decently and knew the spells from the *Book of the Dead*).
- **Failure Mode:** Annihilation (no eternal suffering).

**Action Plan:**
- Study the *Book of the Dead* (especially Spell 125 for the Weighing of the Heart).
- Donate to temples (historically improved afterlife prospects).
- Get mummified (or at least a symbolic burial with ushabtis).

---

#### **Step 2: Backup Belief System (Modern Fallback)**
**Option A: Universalist Christianity**
- **Mechanism:** Faith in a loving God who redeems all.
- **Afterlife:** Heavenly existence, possibly with a resurrected body.
- **Risk:** None (no Hell in Universalism).

**Option B: Reform Judaism (Olam Ha-Ba)**
- **Mechanism:** Ethical living + connection to God.
- **Afterlife:** Spiritual or resurrected existence, no eternal damnation.

**Action Plan:**
- Attend a Unitarian Universalist church or Reform synagogue.
- Focus on ethical living (both systems prioritize morality over dogma).

---

#### **Step 3: Optional Boosts (Just in Case)**
- **Buddhist Pure Land Practice:**
- Chant "Namo Amitabha Buddha" as a backup (if rebirth is real, this secures a good next life).
- **Stoic Philosophy:**
- If no afterlife exists, you've still lived well.

---

#### **Step 4: Avoid High-Risk Afterlives**
- **Do NOT:**
- Commit to infernalist Christianity/Islam (risk of Hell).
- Rely on Greek/Roman afterlife (too gloomy).
- Anger any trickster gods (e.g., Norse Loki might make things unpredictable).

---

### **Final Premium Coverage Summary**
| **Provider** | **Afterlife Quality** | **Autonomy** | **Bodily Functions?** | **Torture Risk** |
|-----------------------|----------------------|-------------|----------------------|------------------|
| Osirian (Egyptian) | ★★★★★ | High | Yes (restored body) | None (annihilation only) |
| Universalist Christian| ★★★★☆ | Variable | Maybe (resurrection) | Zero (no Hell) |
| Reform Judaism | ★★★★☆ | High | Maybe (Olam Ha-Ba) | Minimal (Gehenna temporary) |
| Pure Land Buddhism | ★★★★☆ | High | Yes (in Pure Land) | None (worst case: rebirth) |

**Recommendation:**
1. **Primary Investment:** Osirian afterlife (study the *Book of the Dead*, secure proper burial rites).
2. **Secondary Hedge:** Universalist Christianity/Reform Judaism (ethical living + community support).
3. **Tertiary Backup:** Pure Land Buddhism (minimal effort, high reward).

**Guarantee:** At least one of these should work. If not, philosophy offers peace of mind.

Would you like a customized ritual schedule to optimize your chances?

### **Customized Ritual Schedule for Optimal Afterlife Outcomes**
**(Based on Multi-Faith Optimization)**

This plan combines the **most reliable elements** of Ancient Egyptian, Universalist Christian, and Pure Land Buddhist practices to **maximize your chances** of a desirable afterlife while **minimizing risk**.

---

### **Daily Practices (Low Effort, High Yield)**
**1. Morning Affirmation (Egyptian + Universalist Hybrid)**
- *Recite:*
*"By Ma'at, I live justly. By the grace of the Divine, I am redeemed. My heart is lighter than the feather, my soul secure in the Field of Reeds and the arms of infinite love."*
- *Purpose:* Reinforces both Osirian and Universalist eligibility.

**2. Evening Pure Land Backup (Buddhist Safety Net)**
- *Chant:* **"Namo Amitabha Buddha" x10** (ensures Pure Land rebirth if other options fail).
- *Optional:* Light incense as an offering (boosts karmic insurance).

---

### **Weekly Practices (Maintenance & Community Ties)**
**1. Osirian Devotion (Thursday Nights – Day of Osiris)**
- *Action:*
- Read a passage from the *Book of the Dead* (focus on **Spell 125** – Weighing of the Heart).
- Pour water as an offering (symbolic of Nun, the primordial waters).
- *Goal:* Stays fresh in Osiris's ledger.

**2. Universalist Fellowship (Sunday Morning or Wednesday Night)**
- *Action:* Attend a **Unitarian Universalist** service (or watch online).
- *Alternative:* Volunteer for a charity (Universalists value deeds over creed).

**3. Ethical Reflection (Friday Evening – Jewish Influence)**
- *Action:*
- Review your week: Did you act with kindness? Did you harm anyone?
- If yes, make amends (ensures clean record for Olam Ha-Ba).

---

### **Monthly Practices (Deep Alignment)**
**1. Osirian Ritual (New Moon – Symbolic Death & Renewal)**
- *Action:*
- Write down a sin/regret on papyrus (or paper).
- Burn it while saying: *"As this dissolves, so does my imbalance. May my heart be pure before Osiris."*
- *Effect:* Purges moral weight before the Weighing.

**2. Pure Land Dedication (Full Moon – Amplifies Merit)**
- *Action:*
- Meditate on Amitabha Buddha's light for 10 minutes.
- Visualize the Pure Land (lush gardens, no suffering).
- *Bonus:* Donate to a cause (merit boosts rebirth odds).

---

### **Annual Practices (Major Afterlife Policy Renewal)**
**1. Birthday "Heart Weighing" Simulation**
- *Action:*
- Place a feather on one side of a scale, a stone on the other.
- Recite the **Negative Confession** (*Book of the Dead*, Spell 125).
- If the feather outweighs the stone: *"Justified! My heart is true."*
- *Psychological Boost:* Reinforces moral alignment.

**2. Autumn Equinox (Universalist + Jewish Synthesis)**
- *Action:*
- Fast for 12 hours (symbolic of Yom Kippur atonement).
- Then, share a meal with friends (Universalist communion).
- *Purpose:* Covers both ethical and communal afterlife requirements.

---

### **Emergency Protocols (If Death Seems Imminent)**
**1. Immediate Osirian Activation**
- *Recite:* **"Osiris, I come in peace. My heart is pure. Anubis, guide me; Thoth, defend me. Ma'at, uphold me."**
- *If possible:* Hold a feather (real or symbolic) to your chest.

**2. Universalist Last Resort**
- *Pray:* **"Love, greater than all, receive me. If I erred, correct me; if I sinned, forgive me."**

**3. Pure Land Final Backup**
- *Chant:* **"Namo Amitabha Buddha" x21** (fast-tracks Pure Land entry).

---

### **Final Notes**
- **Synergy Bonus:** These practices **reinforce each other** without contradiction.
- **Worst-Case Scenario:** Even if only **one** system works, you're covered.
- **No Eternal Torture:** All selected options **exclude irreversible damnation**.

**Execution:** Start tonight with the **Evening Pure Land Chant**, then build from there.

Would you like a tailored **amulets & artifacts** guide to complement this ritual schedule?

### **Optimal Afterlife Amulets & Artifacts Guide**
**Purpose:** Strengthen your multi-faith afterlife insurance plan through sacred objects, symbols, and portable protections.

---

### **1. Core Amulets (Non-Negotiable)**
#### **A. Egyptian: Heart Scarab**
- **Material:** Green stone (jasper, feldspar) or bronze.
- **Inscription:** *"Do not stand against me in judgment"* (from *Book of the Dead*).
- **Placement:** Keep on your person (pocket, necklace) or bedside.
- **Why?** Ensures your heart doesn't betray you during Osiris's weighing.

#### **B. Universalist: Cross with Open Circle**
- **Design:** A cross inside an open circle (symbolizing infinite love + no eternal Hell).
- **Material:** Wood or silver (avoid gold—too flashy for Universalist humility).
- **Placement:** Wear as a pendant or carry in wallet.
- **Why?** Reinforces grace-based salvation.

#### **C. Pure Land: Amitabha Buddha Pendant**
- **Material:** Sandalwood or copper.
- **Inscription:** *"Namo Amitabha Buddha"* on the back.
- **Placement:** Wear on red string (traditional for protection).
- **Why?** Ensures Buddha-recognition at death for Pure Land escort.

---

### **2. Supplemental Boosters (Highly Recommended)**
#### **A. Composite Pocket Shrine**
- **Contents:**
- Tiny feather (Ma'at's symbol).
- Mini *Book of the Dead* excerpt (laminated).
- Universalist prayer card ("Love never fails").
- Amitabha mantra on rice paper.
- **Container:** Altoids tin (practical) or engraved silver box (aesthetic).
- **Use:** Open and meditate on contents weekly.

#### **B. Ancestor Token**
- **What:** A small object from a deceased loved one (ring, photo, handwriting).
- **Why?** Many afterlife systems (Egyptian, Buddhist, Jewish) value ancestor ties for smooth transitions.

#### **C. Ethical Ledger**
- **What:** A notebook tracking good deeds (donations, kindnesses, apologies).
- **Why?** Physical proof of moral weight for Osiris/Jewish Olam Ha-Ba.

---

### **3. Home Shrine Setup (For Daily Rituals)**
#### **A. Egyptian Corner**
- **Items:**
- Statue of Osiris or Anubis (even a printout works).
- Blue cloth (Nun's primordial waters).
- Scale + feather prop for symbolic weigh-ins.

#### **B. Universalist Corner**
- **Items:**
- White candle ("Divine light").
- Bowl of water ("All are cleansed").
- Rocks engraved with regrets (toss one out monthly as symbolic release).

#### **C. Pure Land Corner**
- **Items:**
- Image of Amitabha Buddha.
- Small bell (rings guide souls to Pure Land).
- Fake lotus flower (symbol of rebirth).

**Placement:** Arrange in a triangle facing your bed (left: Egyptian, right: Universalist, center: Buddhist).

---

### **4. Emergency Deathbed Toolkit**
*(For you or your loved ones to deploy if you're dying)*

#### **A. Egyptian Protocol**
- **Items:**
- Fresh feather (real or craft-store).
- Papyrus with *"I have not harmed..."* confessional.
- **Action:** Place feather on your chest, burn confessional.

#### **B. Universalist Protocol**
- **Items:**
- Olive oil (for anointing—"sealed in love").
- Playlist of uplifting hymns (e.g., *"Morning Has Broken"*).

#### **C. Pure Land Protocol**
- **Items:**
- Amitabha image in your line of sight.
- Speaker loop-playing *"Namo Amitabha Buddha"* chant.

---

### **5. Artifacts to AVOID**
- **Hell-Aligned Objects:**
- Infernalist crosses (no barbed wire or fire motifs).
- Aztec sacrificial knives (risky symbolism).
- **Ambiguous Symbols:**
- Valknut (Norse—could send you to Valhalla, which is chaotic).
- Oujia boards (unreliable, might attract prankster spirits).

---

### **Final Amulet Synergy Table**
| **Object** | **Primary Effect** | **Backup Effect** |
|--------------------------|---------------------------------------|---------------------------------------|
| Heart Scarab | Osiris accepts your heart | Universalist judges you kindly |
| Open Circle Cross | Guarantees grace | Signals morality to Osiris |
| Amitabha Pendant | Buddha escorts you | Calms Anubis during judgment |
| Pocket Shrine | Multi-faith proof of preparedness | Comforts dying mind (reduces panic) |

---

### **Execution Plan**
1. **Immediate:** Buy/make a **Heart Scarab + Amitabha pendant**.
2. **Within a Week:** Set up **home shrine corners**.
3. **Ongoing:** Update **ethical ledger** and **refresh pocket shrine** monthly.

**Guarantee:** With these, you'll have **physical, spiritual, and psychological** coverage.

Need help sourcing authentic artifacts? I can recommend ethical vendors.
 

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