"I'm sorry about messing up time, Thaddeus, but there really wasn't much-"
To my right Koriand'r leans closer to study a large tubular device and then backs off as Georgia swings a rolled up New Scientist at her.
"Get those floatation devices away from me, you alien hussy! And no touching the machinery!"
"-alternative, and I don't have anything like the knowledge of temporal mechanics I'd need in order to have done something else."
He flashes me a quick smile.
"No one here is going to criticism anyone else for altering space-time however you want. It's just that there are consequences."
Full-Life Consequences? But seriously, he has a point. Rewriting the local multiversal cluster's rules of causality and temporal variance is not a simple matter to unravel...
"Would you like Lantern Koriand'r to help you?"
Behind me, Georgia rolls her eyes, while in her brother's head the awkwardness he feels at being in close quarters with a stunningly attractive woman wars with his pride as a mad scientist.
That would explain the steam coming out of his shirt collar. Honestly, if he wants some experience with beautiful women, you'd think he'd build a robot or a clone or
something...
"Is she an expert in temporal mechanics?"
"No, but I'm trying to give her an idea of what Earth's civilisation is like, and I think your work is a good example of what the most advanced science and technology our species can produce looks like."
Flattery will get you everywhere, OL. Seriously, feeding his ego is a good plan.
"That's.. true. Okay. Sure." He manages to look at her as she smiles appreciatively. "I'll show you my workshop, Koriand'r."
"Thank you, Thaddeus. I am very interested to see what you have made!"
"Right-. Ah, right this way."
Heh, I see where the kids get it from.
Arms held rigidly at his side, Thaddeus leads Koriand'r over to his work station on the far side of the subterranean workshop where the villainous part of the Sivana family keep their 'active research' projects.
"Honestly."
Don't be jealous, Georgia. I'm sure with a little work, you could look like that too. Maybe some magic?
"Be reasonable, Georgia. You're both young, and neither of you have a lot of social contact with people outside of the community."
"Please tell me that you didn't bring her here just to dangle her in front of Junior."
Honestly amazed he hasn't gotten a nosebleed. Or said anything. Are you sure he hasn't had an aneurysm?
"Of course not. I assumed that if he responded at all that he'd respond in the way your father did to your mother when they first me; with stilted formality."
"Father didn't think it was appropriate for supervillains to study etiquette."
So, he didn't have the same pool of knowledge his father did at that age.
"Oh. So I assume that he doesn't have a great deal of experience with girls."
"To put it mildly."
Well, unless you count Georgia, Beautia or their mother. And they don't count as
GIRL-girls.
"While… You have a great deal of experience with boys?"
"Vril called my input into beam weapon design 'insightful'."
High praise. When's the wedding?
"Gosh. That's coluan for 'take me now, big girl'."
Her eyes widen a fraction. "Is it?"
Hahaa, she is so easy to work up.
"Well, coluans don't usually conceptualise romantic relationships in the way that humans do, but… Pretty much. I only know-"
And she blushes just as badly as her brother does.
I guess it's fine, as long as she doesn't start spouting 'Japanese shy girl' catchphrases.
"-one female coluan, but I can ask her to confirm it if you like."
"What do-? Female coluans look like?"
"… Green?"
Yep, they
are green space babes. Admittedly, they practically are a designer species.
Her eyes narrow slightly. "You know perfectly well that's not what I meant."
"Most coluans are currently being mind controlled by a AI network on their homeworld, so their bodies are optimally healthy. Of the two coluans I know who don't live on their homeworld, both are athletic, but both work in military occupations and one has a power ring."
And Georgia knows exactly what he means by 'athletic' and 'optimally healthy'. I doubt Clarissi Dox cares about physical appearances though.
"Standard… Humanoid… Physiques?"
"Georgia, I can't believe that you're this self-conscious about your appearance. If you don't like something, change it."
Seriously, make yourself a new body, full Danner treatment, and transfer your mind into it. You've got to have
some manner of mental and spiritual transfer technology laying around somewhere.
"But this is me. I don't expect-" She regards me for a moment. "-you to understand, but I want to recognise myself when I look in a mirror."
"You think-? Georgia, I didn't look anything like this good when I arrived from Earth Prime."
Useful part of an Orange Ring, after all.
"You… Didn't?"
"No. I have an orange power ring. Tuning myself up was the.. second thing I did. I didn't make any radical changes; just.. a general enhancement and a few cosmetic modifications I'd wanted to make for a while. I certainly haven't had any trouble recognising myself. And… If you thought that might be a problem then you could just put your original body in suspended animation and transfer your brain into a new one."
No mention of knocking ten-plus years off your physical age? Seriously, OL, you're going to have to share with someone other than John Constantine eventually...
"Yes, I.. could… I'm not metaphorically attached to everything…"
"Or don't. I doubt that Dox will care, so it's really just about boosting your confidence and.. happiness."
Given some of his relationships in the comics, no he doesn't.
I suppose there's no good way to bring it up… Ring, are there any possums in Germany?
Only in zoos and private collections.
...Uh, what? What does that have to do with anything? <sees Darko's explanation.> Oh...
"You..? Are you aware why your elder-?"
"Why our parents divorced? Yes, I am aware that Father decided to ensure that we would look like him so that we would share his outlook on life." She thoughtfully strokes her chin. "I suppose that there is a conceptual link: if we're going to make this 'new leaf' thing our preferred approach for the foreseeable future then I simply have no need for an additional reason to reject society any longer."
Just don't get carried away. Copying, say, Kori's appearance will not help you as much as you think. Most men will end up more interested in your boobs than your brains.
"Speaking of new leaves..?"
"We did have an early warning system set up, then somebody rewrote the laws of temporal mechanics."
"It was that or risk losing our entire continuity."
And, as you noted, you're not an expert in temporal mechanics... How sure could you have been about that?
"I'm not accusing you; we're not hypocritical enough to seriously object to other people's forays into 'angry' science. I am simply pointing out why we won't be able to give anyone advanced warning at the moment. We have been able to identify a large number of people fitted with spine riders, and we've sent search and destroy squads to their breeding centres."
Well, that's progress on that front. Now, when you say 'destroy'...
"Um."
"They were clearly instructed to minimise collateral damage. But we can't save everyone."
"Give me a list and their remains. I'll get the missing persons' cases closed."
Oof. Well, I
suppose that's a net positive?
"If you think that's important. And the… Other matter?" I nod. "I'm not used to having to model with so little direct data. But there's defiantly something going on. But given the complexity, I think a full investigation will have to wait until after the Sheeda are destroyed."
"That's probably for the best. If nothing else, there's a better than average change that it's them."
And meanwhile, Boss Smiley is chuckling to himself as he sits in his office, swirling two fingers of scotch as he contemplates allowing himself an evil laugh...