25th October 2013
13:43 GMT -7
"So what did
you do before the war?"
Knock Out glances down at the human standing near his feet. Ratchet was overseeing the process of pumping energon into the mechanisms around the 'Last Autobot', and there wasn't anything for him to do. Slipstream was back on the surface since bringing a Seeker down these corridors would be ridiculous and Jack was needed to act as a living authentication system.
"Why do you want to know?" He smiles sarcastically. "Planning on adding me to your transformer harem?"
"Harem?"
"I know you've only got one so far, but I suppose you have to start
somewhere. And I
am a fine piece of machinery."
"No. You said 'harem'. A transformer would usually say 'team' or 'squad'." Scrap. "Transformers don't have a concept of a harem because-."
"Y
eees, we don't reproduce like that. I've been on Earth long enough to learn English. Don't read too much into it."
The human looks up at his f-. He's not
considering it, is he? Best… Head that off.
"I was an engineer. I came to Cybertron from Velocitron with a magna-wrench in my hand and a dream in my brain module. I wanted to make my business the number one place for bodywork and performance-enhancing tune-ups in all of Cybertron." The irritation he used to feel about what
actually happened is still there, though the vorns have left it somewhat muted. "What
actually happened is that I got stuck in
Uraya doing fuel system rebuilds for idiots who didn't watch their fuel additive intake. Between rationing and the start of the uprising there wasn't much demand for anything else."
"So how did you end up with the Decepticons?"
"They were the best clients. Sure, they weren't interested in
speed, but they were more willing to be…
Experimental with their upgrades. I started working in the underground gladiator circuits, fell into medicine for the extra energon, and…Joining the Decepticons just felt like a natural move."
"No great ideological commitment?"
"Heh, you've come to the wrong 'con if you're looking for
that. No, it was always a matter of convenience." He waves his right arm. "And then the War dragged on-"
"Yeah."
"-and spare parts became harder to come by, and I got used to cannibalising dead 'bots-"
"Um."
"-for
parts. And the fuel efficiency drives! Oh, don't get me started on the fuel efficiency drives. There's more to life than miles-per-gallon!"
"So why are you
here?"
"Where else would I go? Ratchet's busy running the show, so they need
someone who knows his way around a hyperspanner."
"But what's in it for
you?"
"Hm, steady supply of energon… Components… Subj-
ah,
patients... Eventually, they might even get around to restoring some of Cybertron's road networks."
"Earth has complete road networks. And race tracks. We have energon, and several world governments are gathering and stockpiling it. Earth
also has the wrecks of every vehicon who died during your fights with the Autobots-."
"Eeeee
eehhhh. I'll
pass. There's only so many times I can stare at a vehicon's internal systems before it all
blurs together."
"Vehicons were a product of rationing, weren't they? Megatron needed warriors in the field and workers in the mines, but he didn't have enough energon to suppose a larger population of regular transformers…"
"That was part of it, certainly. Standard parts allows for standard
production, which made it easier to keep them in the field."
"Do you think they'd want to be upgraded?"
"I'm not sure they have
wants." But that
is an interesting idea, isn't it? Replacing
bland and
boring components with something with a little
character. "Out of…
Curiosity, where
are those vehicon bodies being kept?"
"If you want test cadavers, I'm sure that we can come to terms. Human governments want transformers willing to explain transformer technology to them."
"Is that what Slipstream's been doing?"
"No, she doesn't have the knowledge required. We've just been introducing more mundane technology from other worlds. You'd be in demand. You could probably name your price."
And isn't
that an interesting proposition. No more road races for
him. No, he could own his own racetrack, a proper course designed to test the participants to their limits. But the only other Decepticon would be Slipstream, and she wouldn't be changing to a ground-based altmode any time soon. Unless he could dig them up from somewhere like Skyquake-. No, that wasn't going to happen.
"And I was thinking that while the war might be over… What exactly is the draw of Cybertron? Energon? Ratchet will share that design, and that's only an issue in the long term."
"Mining energon isn't
easy."
"It is when you can pay humans to throw manpower at it. Sure,
one human is never going to match a vehicon, but hundreds with the right equipment will match the peak output the Decepticons managed." Hm. Could be true. "But what about inviting other transformers?"
"Like who?"
"Anyone who doesn't want to live on Cybertron. Team Prime are going to be putting this place back together for a
very long time. Sure, I can see some transformers being interested in that, but Decepticons… Well,
most Decepticons are used to living violent lives, and we've got Unicron's internal systems to pacify. If it's company you want then I doubt you'll have trouble finding takers."
"What's in it for
you?"
"I get to have a medic around in case something happens to Slipstream. Don't worry: your sculpted aft is entirely safe from my clutches."
Hm… Worth thinking about.
Definitely worth thinking about. But it's probably best to change the topic
now before the human talks him into anything.
"What exactly got the Autobots so excited about this..? 'Last Autobot'?"
"The Last Autobot was created as a failsafe in case transformers were ever near extinction and Unicron woke up with no one left to fight him. Among other things, he is
supposed to have the ability to raise transformers from the dead."
Knock Out frowns. "How?"
"I don't understand the mechanism. Supposedly, he raises his hands, wrecks self-repair and their spark reinstalls itself. He needs
massive amounts of energon, but that's not really a problem any more."
Knock Out watches as Bulkhead hauls away one empty tanker and replace it with a full one. The human is correct. Actually, that might mean that refuelling Metroplex might be possible once they build a big enough production facility. He wasn't exactly
fast, but working on a titan, that
would be interesting.
Wait.
"
And he can resurrect anyone?"
"Any transformer. Actually, he might be able to resurrect any Primus-derived species, Vector Sigma wasn't clear."
"
And there aren't any..?
Oh I don't know, restrictions..?"
"He pre-dates the War, so he's not going to care whether or not they were a Decepticon. The only.. issue would be if they were contaminated with dark energon. Because the whole-"
No.
"-point is to fight-."
"I-." Knock Out takes a half-step away from the human, uncertain of the stability of his own legs. "I need a moment."
"Knock Out? Are-?"
Horror and
disgust war for dominance in his spark. He barely hears the human.
"Not now. Just-.
Not now."
Pinch hazards, you know.
