2nd May 2013
17:54 GMT -7
Turns out?
Horse M.R.I. scanners do actually exist.
"Are you alright in there, your highness?"
Celestia looks up slightly awkwardly as the… Well, her horn is a bit of an impediment, but the staff worked around it by sticking a tennis ball over the point. And since she's the size of a small pony rather than a full sized horse there's no difficulty in fitting her through the scanner donut. The machine itself is about as noisy as the one I remember from Earth Prime, though a good deal quicker. I'm not sure whether that's due to improvements in technology or a result of paying a lot of money for this appointment.
"Yes, thank you."
And Celestia's being far more cooperative than
their usual clients, even if she had to pay a 'petting tax' to jump the queue. The children of the staff are even now lurking in the corridor to ambush her.
I smile as I consider access to medical services in America more generally. As Sir Terrance Pratchett might say, that is because humans are not technically worth anything whereas a good race horse might set you back £15000. It's like how cows are the most eaten animal on the planet but they're never going to go extinct, whereas no one eats wolves but several countries deliberately drove them to extinction.
And
yes, I could easily have done this by ring, but if I'm making a point about collegiality and getting people involved in their own governance and generally not allowing dependency on a single superlative individual then I sort of have to
live that point. This technology was built by regular humans and is used by regular humans… Okay, apart from that one guy who can see magnetic energy, but that ability wasn't actually vital to the process or anything. He just really likes seeing magnetic energy so got a job somewhere where he always would.
With the scan finished, a couple of orderlies moves in to help Celestia back to her hooves only to find that she's perfectly capable of doing that herself. She appears to realise what they were doing herself, and smiles.
"Thank you, but I can manage."
Dealing with the customers is part of the veterinarian's job, but the customer usually isn't the one being scanned and he's clearly a little uncertain. "Right, your highness." Or maybe he's not sure how to deal with royalty? "Most of our patients… They don't talk back."
Celestia nods, mane billowing around her as she levitates the mane net off her head. "Do you have any housed here at the moment? I think meeting one could be educational."
"Ah… We don't exactly run a hotel here. It's just a stable."
Celestia smiles as she magics the door open. "When I was a filly, even that much would have been a luxury."
"How long ago
was that?" The three of us walk in the direction of the 'patient housing'. "Mister Grayven said that he was worried about the effects of extreme age-" Celestia makes eye contact with me, then rolls them. "-but as far as I can tell you're in good health."
"It was about eleven hundred years ago."
"Ah, well… We… Don't usually get horse-.
Ponies, that age."
Celestia chuckles quietly. "I wouldn't think so."
She lets the vet open the doors to the stables, and… One cow having its hoof shaved to remove an embedded something or other, six empty stalls and… A single racehorse, who briefly looks at us and then goes back to his silage.
Celestia looks at him curiously. And… It's just now occurring to me that I haven't mentioned gelding at all.
Um.
Maybe she won't check.
Celestia thinks for a moment and then takes a step closer. "I'm here."
The horse looks at her again for a moment, and then goes back to ignoring her.
"Hm." She looks at me. "Do you think that is how our ancestors looked?"
I shrug. "I'm halfway convinced that Discord created your species as a joke."
She makes an amused snort. "If he
had, there is no way that he would have been able to keep it to himself."
"Then you should send an archaeological expedition to Dream Valley."
"We already sent an expedition, but they are going to focus on ancient settlements. I imagine that finding ancient skeletons would take special equipment."
"What, you don't have a single pony with a mark in necromancy? It's not all about conjuring undead armies."
"I have special programs for ponies with special talents in
difficult areas, but necromancy is a very unusual talent." She turns around and faces the vet. "How long will it take you to study the images?"
He looks rather uncertain. "Your highness, we have no idea what your brain is supposed to look like. Mister Grayven got us some pictures of the brains of humanoid aliens and we're trained on a variety of species so we've got
something to compare it to, but we don't even really know what we're looking for."
"Don't worry. The doctors in Equestria know no more than you do. There have only been a few alicorns in our entire history."
"Speaking as a veterinarian, knowing that
no one knows what they're talking about just makes me more worried. Mister Grayven wouldn't tell us why he wanted M.R.I. images of your
brain, but-" He shakes his head. "-anything to do with the brain is usually a cause for concern."
"Yes." She gives me a sidelong glance. "Where would you like me to introduce myself to the children?"
"Ah, they weren't really expecting a lot of time with you. You can just walk past-."
"I wouldn't
dream of disappointing foals of any species." She smiles happily. "Where would you like me to meet them?"
"We've got a paddock out the back..?"
"That will be perfect. Grayven, please show me where it is while my physician fetches them."
Uh. 'kay?
I lead the way towards-.
Her magic grabs my left ear and pulls me closer.
"Grayven, while we are alone and after I have indulged what I
suspect to be an extended prank, I have some questions for
you."
"It's not a prank. I am deadly serious about my god-name. Sunset wouldn't say 'eh, magic, whatever', and I wouldn't make a mockery of rulership. No one knows what alicorn ageing looks like, and I wish for Luna to be entirely mentally competent for our lives together."
She nods contemplatively, releasing her hold on me. "When do you intend to get married? You have prevaricated for quite some time."
"As I said, once my father is dead. I intend to ask my uncle to officiate, both because I respect him and because it will emphasise his authority over me after I killed his predecessor."
"That isn't a 'when'."
"If killing him was easy, someone else would have done it. Call it five years."
"And when does
Luna want to get married?"
"I won't know until I ask. I hope as soon as we can get a ceremony organised. But I don't want to… Keep drawing attention to something we can't do without having to confront my father
way before we're ready." I turn my face towards her. "Did you notice that you've dropped your Canterlot accent?"
She gives her head a small shake. "I haven't dropped it completely. It's too engrained. But being away from Equestria is a relaxing experience."
"I noticed that you aren't displaying your wings constantly like you do back in Equestria. Took me a while to talk Luna out of that. Is that a custom or are you just that tense?"
"My mind is as healthy of the rest of me. But the habits of centuries don't evaporate overnight. For much of my reign Equestria was far less prosperous than it is now. I started doing things in a particular way because it made sense. And perhaps I could change them now without unfortunate consequences."
"Oh, good, because I'm not actually a chirurgeon and my backup plan was to get you wasted."
Celestia frowns. "And that is
not going to happen."
"Okay, but… You
could over-indulge here without it getting back home." She looks at me quizzically. "Just saying."
"I… Shall bear that in mind."
Haha! I bet there's a lot of little girls out there with big grins right now. And more than a few big girls too.
Didn't the Renegade encounter a separate group of non-Equestrian ponies while browsing about for it at some point?
...Well, Mr Zoat, naturally.
