[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[ThunderBasilisk]

That would have been so much better

 

[Gur40]

Stuff i found on Tumblr

Spoiler: V9 make Cindere

by dreamymaccready2287
Ruby: Oh god oh fuck, this is bad! Bad bad baaad!

Yang: Ruby, calm down, what's the situation?

Ruby: I just figured out, this isn't a time travel fix-it, this is a time travel fuck up!

Weiss: Why do you think that?

Ruby: We made Cinder childhood friends with Jaune!

Blake: How is that a bad thing? You know Jaune's personality, she's gonna turn out fine.

Ruby: And have you forgotten Jaune's luck!? They're probably going to be ripped away from each other at a pivotal moment!

Ruby: She's going to come back twice as evil as she was last time or something!

Ruby: And probably still be into him!

Yang: Pfft c'mon sis, do you really believe something like that would happen?

Ruby: Name one time the universe has allowed Jaune to be happy for a moderately long period of time.

Yang: ...

Yang: Oh god, we need to fix this immediately.

and

Spoiler: Sex Ed on my Remnant

By reashot

Jaune: *just kneading bread*

GIF by superboystims
Ruby:

Yang: It doesn't take a lot to excite you huh, Ruby?

Ruby: Yes. Sometimes I'm impressed even myself.

Yang: Maybe we should find the time to get you spayed.

Ruby: *snarl* Stay away!

Ruby: Me and Jaune will flood Remnants with our offspring. Making sure the Arc and Rose gene becomes the most dominant one.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Wait! Where are you taking me?

And with a quick trip to planned Parenthood Remnants were spared from being overpopulated by Jaune and Ruby's children. All thanks to the quick thinking of a hot blonde bombshell. You go, Yang.

a rare case of Yang not being an overprotective big sis or being Yang Redfield meme

Spoiler: JNPR game night

by rwby-encrusted-blog
Nora: I didn't ask how big the Room was, I said I cast Fireball.

~~~~~

Young girl in the middle of nowhere: Have you seen my Mommy?

R_BY: Ah~

Weiss: I CAST THUNDERSPELL!

R_BY: NO!

Uncle Jimmy and wingman Jaune

Spoiler: Nuts and Dolt

by dreamymaccready2287
Ruby: What base is your girlfriend sending you sections of her schematics?

Jaune: Uhhh... marriage proposal, I think?

by dreamymaccready2287

Ironwood, on his scroll: Pietro, you need to come to Vale immediately, there's a situation.

Pietro: WHAT!? Did something happen to Penny, is she safe!?

Ironwood: Physically, yes, Penny is safe. However, She found a girlfriend. I'll be flying you out so you can help me give the shovel talk in person.

Pietro: ... *sigh* James, your favoritism is showing.

*Zooms out to reveal Ironwood wearing a t-shirt that says "Let's go Penny!" and a hat that says "Penny is #1"*

Ironwood: ...no it isn't.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The next leadership class...

Ruby: "I'm just saying, why am I in trouble for stopping some suicidal terrorist trying to get into the CCT building?!"

Jaune: "Are you sure it was a terrorist?"

Cinder: "Why suicidal? Why not trying to infiltrate it?"

Ruby: "Ugh, because only an idiot would try to get in that way! Everyone's securing the building now! You can't get in to do any real damage like that!"

Jaune: "Totally. If they were actually doing an infiltration they would get fake ids and pose as technicians."

Cardin: "I guess you'd know about that, Jauney."

Jaune: "Well uh..."

Coco: "Why?"

Cardin: "Because he's a madlad and pretty street smart. But even with fakes, you would need some leverage in local government. Like some bureaucrats to file and backdate paperwork otherwise you would be waiting forever on authorization to get in. Every CCT access is logged and the documentation standards are high-My Dad saw to that in the last couple of bills he got passed."

Cinder: "Really? Hacking isn't enough?"

Ruby: "No! Even I know you need more than just that because people will check hardcopies or ask people who know all this stuff!"

Coco: "It's more involved. You would need to work hard and be cunning... But at least it would get you in."

Ruby: *laughs* "Yeah. Only a complete idiot would try to break in by force as their Plan A!"

Cinder: *twitch* "Yes... Quite..."

 

[Gur40]

The next leadership class...
Ruby: *laughs* "Yeah. Only a complete idiot would try to break in by force as their Plan A!"

Cinder: *twitch* "Yes... Quite..."

Click to shrink...

I need more hyper competent criminal minded Ruby and Jaune tearing apart Cinder plans with obvious to us holes that only reason work in canon or story ego or laziness
How are they suppose to know Watts had a built in back door to the software that just needed a pre-set scroll docked into a console [Roman and Neo in caon] and CInder entire operations was just trolling her
OR how obviously Cinder prerecord her speech and didn't do it live as a single slip up would have humiliated her and ruined her message
And the Spider would let Cinder and Neo live after the destroyed Vale after the spent all of Roman book taking over the city and being furious with her daughters being there
Or Merlot taking over the Wyvern for his experiments so Ozpin wouldn't panic to grab Pyrrha and instead stomped all the fliers with his cane lazer

 

[cavalal386]

I need more hyper competent criminal minded Ruby and Jaune tearing apart Cinder plans with obvious to us holes that only reason work in canon or story ego or laziness

Click to shrink...

you and me both, buddy, you and me both

 

[SharkCultist]

So I had a idea about the silver eyes that would be interesting and also traumatizing for Ruby.

Instead of just a Grimm Laser let's make the silver eyes a sorta demigod mode?

Semblance boosted, Grimm starting to fade away just being too close to Ruby, calm, cool, collected, calculating personality.

As soon as Ruby finds out about it she starts relying on it despite multiple warnings from Ozpin.

"A gift from a god is no gift miss rose. It's a curse."

So cut to the Atlas fight. Ruby activates her silver eyes and falls into the detached super fighter mindset.

Realizes this isn't a fight she can win so I stead she focuses on the objective. Keeping maiden powers away from cinder and Salem.

So Ruby kills Penny. No hesitation.

Then have the ever after fall happen like canon.

See Ruby is supposed to be the HERO of the story. And in my mind you can't be a hero while being someone else's puppet or relying on someone else's power.

So I want Ruby to grow beyond the silver eyes. (I also think the silver eyes are probably what got her mom beat/killed)

 

[Bommel]

Instead of just a Grimm Laser let's make the silver eyes a sorta demigod mode?

Click to shrink...

Somewhat unrelated topic: But is the power of the silver eyes a anti-Grimm laser?
Cause from what I remember Ruby hit multiple creatures in the same blast (the Grimm dragon and Cinder's Shadow Hand, so it seems like it would be more of a cone shaped blast, or possibly a "explosion" that goes in all directions at once.

 

[SharkCultist]

Somewhat unrelated topic: But is the power of the silver eyes a anti-Grimm laser?
Cause from what I remember Ruby hit multiple creatures in the same blast (the Grimm dragon and Cinder's Shadow Hand, so it seems like it would be more of a cone shaped blast, or possibly a "explosion" that goes in all directions at once.

Click to shrink...

I was just treating it like a Grimm exclusive version of Cyclopes laser blast.

And I know from the old show he could focus and unfocus it Into wider aoe beams.


Side note did you know that cyclops technically isn't using lasers? According to some comics his mutant power is his eyes being a portal/portal maker to a universe of pure kinetic energy.

 

[Balorak146]

So I had a idea about the silver eyes that would be interesting and also traumatizing for Ruby.

Instead of just a Grimm Laser let's make the silver eyes a sorta demigod mode?

Semblance boosted, Grimm starting to fade away just being too close to Ruby, calm, cool, collected, calculating personality.

As soon as Ruby finds out about it she starts relying on it despite multiple warnings from Ozpin.

"A gift from a god is no gift miss rose. It's a curse."

So cut to the Atlas fight. Ruby activates her silver eyes and falls into the detached super fighter mindset.

Realizes this isn't a fight she can win so I stead she focuses on the objective. Keeping maiden powers away from cinder and Salem.

So Ruby kills Penny. No hesitation.

Then have the ever after fall happen like canon.

See Ruby is supposed to be the HERO of the story. And in my mind you can't be a hero while being someone else's puppet or relying on someone else's power.

So I want Ruby to grow beyond the silver eyes. (I also think the silver eyes are probably what got her mom beat/killed)

Click to shrink...

...see, this is how you do something like Ironwood's supposed 'Mettle' right.

Also, I tend to characterize Summer by her vocals given in Red Like Roses II. She was taking a chance to finish the fight so Ruby and Yang wouldn't have to fight it - because the idea of her kids as Huntresses horrified her - and she failed. Which is a lot more sympathetic than running off in the night like Raven - with Raven, no less - because of an obsession to 'be a hero'.

It also gives Ruby, Yang and Taiyang a reason to distrust Ozpin since, by keeping the secret of Salem's immortality, he inadvertently got Summer killed.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

It took a lot to scare Blake. Adam, the White Fang, her books being held over an open flame-All terrifying. Her parents and Aunt Yoruichi rated pretty highly up there too. But they lacked the same menace as the presence she sensed as she entered her empty dormroom.



She looked through the dark to a pair of green eyes glowing in the shadows. She sucked in a deep breath. She tried to stay calm, to not bolt... Even when the door behind her slammed shut. She glanced back over her shoulder-A figure with blue eyes stood there.



"It's taken us a long time to track you down, Pequeña Blake," the green eyed man growled softly. "Even then, once we found you, we were content to stand by and keep watch. See what you would do."



Blake sucked in a breath.



"You just can't stay out of trouble, can you gatita?" Purred the blue eyed woman behind her, "Even now you fight the White Fang and play vigilante when you should be keeping a low profile."



"It's taken a lot of work to keep you safe, little one," the green eyed man said, standing up. "But I suspect we have the reason for your reluctance to get back in contact, no~? Jaune Arc?"



Blake's eyes narrowed.



"What have you done with him?" She hissed.



"Why don't you see for yourself?" The man chuckled.



There was a pause. A younger man coughed.



"Oh! Oh, that was my cue, right, right, sorry!"



The lights went on. The green eyed figure was a short orange tabby cat Faunus man in tall musketeer boots, a lavish black, red and gold jacket and fencing breeches, a purple cape and a jaunty hat with a yellow feather in his cap. A well used rapier hung from his belt. The blue eyed figure was revealed as a svelte, beautiful black cat Faunus woman in an emerald green mask, a green and gold catsuit with white highlights, and a number of daggers and thieves' tools hanging from her belt. Both were casting fond if exasperated looks over at the owner of the third voice.



Said owner was a young, large eyed chihuahua in a ratty purple and blue sweater and jeans. He panted, his tongue hanging out, as he stood by the lightswitch... And an unconscious Jaune Arc tied to a chair. Blake's eyes widened.



"Jaune!" She gasped, rushing over to him. "How could you?! What have you done to him?"



The blue eyed woman chuckled menacingly.



"Why, we-!"



"We invited him out to a taco diner and had tacos!" The dog Faunus barked happily. "I love tacos, and he loved them too! I don't think his Hispanish is too good though since he ordered the Ghost Pepper Salsa! Eesh! That made him pass out so we brought him back here!"



"Perrito," the two cat Faunus groaned. Perrito coughed.



"I-I mean we tortured him until he passed out! With hugs! And cuddles! MEAN HUGS AND CUDDLES!"



Blake sighed, her lips twitching slightly as she fought a smile.



"It's nice to see you too, Uncle Gato, Aunt Kitty, and Perrito. But must you be so dramatic?"



Gato Zapatos, legendary outlaw of Remnant and fearless hero, scoffed.



"Drama is the very soul of life! What, we were just going to drop by and say 'hello, we heard you got pregnant by and engaged to some human'? Who does that?! That's not memorable!"



"Besides," Kitty Softpaws chuckled, "You have no room to speak, Miss Runaway Princess who Declared She Would Join the White Fang to her parents before Dropping a Smoke Bomb."



Blake flushed.



"It was a small one?"



"No it wasn't," Gato scoffed, "I made sure of it!"



- - -



Yes, Gato Zapatos from White Knight Errant (who is a Remnant-fied expy of Puss in Boots from the Shrek Franchise) is now part of my general RWBY fanon. Neither he nor Kitty are biologically related to Blake but they are old friends of her parents-Though they split from the White Fang and Menagerian politics a long time ago in favor of being free and after the atrocities of the White Fang. Perrito is their adopted orphan, as per The Last Wish.



Gato naturally knows about much of Jaune's family and is interested in testing his blade while Kitty is going to do her level best not to steal (too much). Perrito will just be Perrito, a happy ball of sunshine.



And yes... A certain wolf Faunus with scythes does wander by from time to time... Though Puss is hardly the only person in Remnant who is familiar with him and his whistle.




View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o8GWhoD53I

 

[DaJuggernaut]

I get the feeling that El Lobo is absolutely affronted by Salem and Ozpin's existence.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

I get the feeling that El Lobo is absolutely affronted by Salem and Ozpin's existence.

Click to shrink...

He is. He might also have some familiarity with the Arcs given their long legacy. And the Silver Eyed Warriors. And potentially Nora and Ren given their origins.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

He is. He might also have some familiarity with the Arcs given their long legacy. And the Silver Eyed Warriors. And potentially Nora and Ren given their origins.

Click to shrink...

Is he genuinely confused on how Jaunes not dead yet? Given all the shenanigans that happen to him?

 

[Dragon Bob]

[

He is. He might also have some familiarity with the Arcs given their long legacy. And the Silver Eyed Warriors. And potentially Nora and Ren given their origins.

Click to shrink...

This actually gives a good reason for why Salem doesn't intervene more, El Lobo can't permanently kill Salem like he wishes, but he can attack her and ruin her plans. So they have a truce/stalemate. She stays on the Lost Continent and he stays off it. Mortals can make their own decisions so her cults get a pass to cause havoc, but if she ever acts directly Lobo can go and kill Grimm and her repeatedly.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Is he genuinely confused on how Jaunes not dead yet? Given all the shenanigans that happen to him?

Click to shrink...

It's more that he is the Rusted Knight and that kind of temporal paradox is something that would catch Death's attention.

Also the Arcs just tend to get into ridiculous antics where they get power ups near Death or through the power of friendship so some of them are aware of him at least.

 

[DaJuggernaut]

I also have a headcanon that El Lobo is the faunus boogeyman. The literal specter of death. To them, his appearance heralds the end.
"Any that witnesses the cloaked wolf and hear his whistle know that their end is nigh."

 

[Bommel]

Speaking of Faunus, I'm wondering about a few things regarding them.

The wiki states that "Faunus are genetically compatible with Humans, though the children of such unions are typically always Faunus", but wouldn't that mean that Faunus would almost certainly breed away the regular humans evenually (this sounds like some incredibly bad eugenics bullshit), but also doesn't really make sense from a genetics point of view (like why is is almost garanteed to turn out to produce Faunus children, and not half-Faunus or it being a either or case).
Wouldn't it be more plausable that there's a 50% chance that any child will turn out human or Faunus if half-Faunus' aren't possible?
And could a regular human family then not also have some Faunus ancesters in their lineage somewhere, like the Arcs having one or multiple Faunus in their family tree, and sometimes a family member who pops up being born with Faunus traits or something?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Speaking of Faunus, I'm wondering about a few things regarding them.

The wiki states that "Faunus are genetically compatible with Humans, though the children of such unions are typically always Faunus", but wouldn't that mean that Faunus would almost certainly breed away the regular humans evenually (this sounds like some incredibly bad eugenics bullshit), but also doesn't really make sense from a genetics point of view (like why is is almost garanteed to turn out to produce Faunus children, and not half-Faunus or it being a either or case).
Wouldn't it be more plausable that there's a 50% chance that any child will turn out human or Faunus if half-Faunus' aren't possible?
And could a regular human family then not also have some Faunus ancesters in their lineage somewhere, like the Arcs having one or multiple Faunus in their family tree, and sometimes a family member who pops up being born with Faunus traits or something?

Click to shrink...

Yeah I just go with that because CRWBY as usual didn't think about the implications.

 

[Bommel]

Yeah I just go with that because CRWBY as usual didn't think about the implications.

Click to shrink...

So could Jaune have a a couple of Faunus ancesters and/or a bunch of Faunus family members?

 

[mgl1206]

Best way to get a kids to do something is tell them they can't do it

Click to shrink...

Pretty sure Jaq-ass was being serious about that.

 

[ExFelineServer3]

So could Jaune have a a couple of Faunus ancesters and/or a bunch of Faunus family members?

Click to shrink...

So, I forget which one it was but AndrewJTalon has Isabel Arc mention to, I think it was Aslan, that the Arc family has Lion Faunus in the bloodline, which got her attention due the her own Lion Faunas heritage and the Table Breaker Faith.

Can we fix Death's combination weapon, please?
I mean, it's cool and all, but for a practical weapon that turns into a double bladed glaive, basically, you don't want a blade facing you as you use the weapon correctly.
Death could have the scythes but when he combines them, the result is a double bladed khopesh glaive.
You get 2 Instruments of Death, literally, as besides the scythes, the khopesh is an Egyptian curved sword, Death would look like Anubis, the Egyptian God of the Dead, wielding a double bladed khopesh glaive.
The Double Scythe Glaive with opposite facing blades is in practical use almost as bad as Thanos' opposite facing Double Edged Sword which was inspired by the Thanos Copter.
I mean, hell , Thanos' creator even disliked the weapon.

 

[Gur40]

Tumblr stuff

Spoiler: Sisters share

By rocknroll7575

*Jaune having dinner with the Xiao-Long/Rose Family*

Tai: *looks at Jaune* I know...

Jaune: *Sweating bullets* You know... what?

Tai: I know you know

Jaune: You know, I know, that you know I know what?

Tai: I know you know, that you know, that i know what you know

Jaune: And what do I know that you know that I know that you think I know?

Ruby: *leaning to Yang* What is going on!?

Yang: I think their both having a stroke right now...

or to put it simply

By notmaplemable
Don't You Dare
Taiyang: Don't you dare try to date both of my daughters at the same time!

Jaune: ...I can date Ruby and Yang at the same time?

Taiyang: You can, but don't try to!

Jaune: ...But what if I want to?

Taiyang: Don't!

and

Spoiler: Stolen from tumblr

By wu-sisyphus-gang
Ruby: Leaving for my autism diagnosis appointment!

Jaune: Why the fuck are you wearing a dress? Cancel the diagnosis. We know.

By wu-sisyphus-gang
Jaune: *whistles to get Yang's attention*

Ruby: Arf!

Weiss: Yip!

Ruby+Weiss: *blush*

Jaune: Good girls I guess.

Yang: Hi are you aware I'm in hell?

By dreamymaccready2287
Ruby, sandwiched between Pyrrha and Jaune, Penny on her lap: Me? Touch starved? You surely must be thinking of someone else.

Spoiler: Pyrrha in Marvel

 

[LordofBones]

I get the feeling that El Lobo is absolutely affronted by Salem and Ozpin's existence.

Click to shrink...

I don't think he'd mind Ozpin; the man isn't exactly happy that he's essentially a lich, and he was dragged back against his will.

Blake: *whimpering* "He's here for me-ooof!"
Ozpin: "No! It's me! ME! IT SHOULD BE ME! YOO-HOO, MR. WOLF! RIGHT HERE, THROUGH THE HEART! THE NECK'S FINE TOO!"

 

[Gur40]

I don't think he'd mind Ozpin; the man isn't exactly happy that he's essentially a lich, and he was dragged back against his will.

Blake: *whimpering* "He's here for me-ooof!"
Ozpin: "No! It's me! ME! IT SHOULD BE ME! YOO-HOO, MR. WOLF! RIGHT HERE, THROUGH THE HEART! THE NECK'S FINE TOO!"

Click to shrink...

Death having an epic stalemate were Salem knows she can't pass him and uses minions as a work around all on spite
VS
Oz just begging on his knees for an end for both himself and Salem, to end this eternal war and free the world of the plans of the gods

also found this

Spoiler: Leaders *Warning*do not leave alone with each other

From Tumblr by howlingday

Ruby: I'M COMING FOR YOU, SALEEEM~! (Runs off)

Emerald: H-Hey! Wait! (Groans) Geez... She's gonna get herself in trouble...

Jaune: I'll go after her. Don't worry, you can trust me. (Chases after her)

Emerald: Oh, well, that's good...

Weiss: Where's Ruby?!

Emerald: She ran off on her own.

WBY: (Grimace) YOU WHAT?

Emerald: I-I tried to stop her, but then Jaune came up and said he'd do it, so I let him join her and-

NPR: (Grimace) YOU WHAT?

Emerald: ...What?

Oscar: You do realize that Ruby and Jaune are the worst combo for staying out of trouble, right?

Emerald: ...Oh.