[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Hahoalki]

MILF Pyrrha might as well be a Greek goddess or Red Sonja, dressed like that '4 years of Beacon' pic that's floating around.

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Which pic is that?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The café overlooking Vale's festival square was crowded with Vytal visitors. Paper lanterns swayed overhead in the evening breeze, casting warm gold across the wrought-iron chairs and warm oak-wood tables. In the corner of the patio sat a distinguished panther Faunus man in a suit, sunglasses and fedora, and a beautiful older black cat Faunus woman in purple dress, white jacket, sunglasses and an elegant head wrap for her hair.

Blake stood just inside the doorway to the patio, fingers twisted together so tightly her knuckles were pale.

Jaune waited a step behind her, Mia balanced on his hip, the little girl's ears twitching at every new sound and smell. He'd dressed up a little—clean white button up shirt, black pants and tie, hair actually combed—but he still felt underdressed next to Blake's careful black wrap dress.

"You sure about this?" he asked quietly.

Blake exhaled. "No. But I need to do it anyway."

"Well," Jaune murmured, "We're here for you."

Everyone else was busy tonight, so he'd brought Mia along. Not that Blake had objected. Indeed, she smiled at the little girl and got a smile back, which helped steel her resolve.

She stepped forward.

Kali saw her first. The teacup in her hand rattled against the saucer as she stood, eyes already shining. Ghira rose more slowly, the chair scraping loud enough to cut through the café chatter.

Blake opened her mouth—some apology already forming—but Kali crossed the distance in three strides and pulled her into a crushing hug. Ghira's massive arms wrapped around both of them a second later, enveloping them like a living fortress.

Words failed. Blake's apology dissolved into a muffled sob against her mother's shoulder. Kali's hand stroked her hair the same way it had when she was small.

"You're alive," Kali whispered, voice cracking. "That's all we needed."

Ghira's deep rumble followed. "We missed you, little one."

They held her until the tears slowed. Only then did Kali pull back, wiping her own eyes—and freeze.

Her gaze landed on Mia, who was peeking curiously from Jaune's shoulder, ears perked high. Then on Jaune himself, tall and blond and holding the child with the practiced ease of someone who'd done it every day for years.

Kali's hands flew to her mouth. A high, delighted squeal escaped.

"Oh—oh my gods—a granddaughter!"

Before Jaune could process the word, Kali had surged forward, arms outstretched. She plucked Mia from his hip with surprising strength and spun her once, laughing as the little girl squealed in delight.

"Look at these ears! Look at this face! Ghira, look!"

Ghira's stern expression cracked into something softer, though his eyes flicked to Jaune with new weight.

Jaune's brain short-circuited. He turned slowly to Blake.

She offered a tiny, pained smile and mouthed, Sorry.

Kali was already cuddling Mia close, cooing over her curls, her dress, the stuffed bunny tucked under one arm. "And you—" She reached out with her free arm and pulled Jaune into the hug whether he was ready or not. "My new son-in-law! Welcome to the family!"

Jaune made a small, strangled noise. Mia giggled, patting Kali's cheek.

"Hi, new Grandma!"

Kali melted.

They settled at the table eventually—Kali with Mia in her lap, bouncing her gently and feeding her tiny bites of honey cake; Ghira opposite Jaune, arms folded, gaze steady and appraising. Blake sat between her parents and Jaune like a very nervous bridge.

The conversation started light—festival gossip, Menagerie news, Kali asking Mia a hundred delighted questions. But Ghira's silence had weight. Every so often his eyes flicked to Jaune, measuring.

Finally, over tea, he spoke. "So. You and my daughter."

Jaune swallowed. "Sir—"

Blake jumped in, words tumbling out too fast. "We met during a… joint operation in Radian. Things happened quickly. We fell in love—very tragic, very passionate. Then I had to leave the White Fang because of the pregnancy, and we've been keeping things quiet for safety, but we're very happy now and everything's completely normal!"

Jaune stared at her. Kali raised an elegant eyebrow. Ghira's glare intensified.

Mia, oblivious, offered Ghira a piece of her cake. "Grandpa, want some?"

Ghira's expression softened as he accepted the sticky offering with grave dignity.

Jaune cleared his throat. "Excuse me. I need… air."

He stood, touched Blake's elbow. "Could I borrow you a moment?"

Blake followed him out to the narrow hallway and into the family restrooms, wringing her hands.

The second the door swung shut behind them, Jaune turned. "Blake. What the hell-heck was that?"

She winced. "I'm sorry. I panicked. They looked so happy to see me, and then they saw you with Mia, and I just— I didn't want them to worry. I thought if they believed we were together, that Mia was ours, they'd be relieved instead of scared."

Jaune pinched the bridge of his nose. "They've been worried for years, Blake. Since you ran off with Adam. One more lie isn't going to fix that."

"I know." Her voice cracked. "I know. I just… wanted them to have something good for once. Even if it was fake."

Jaune looked at her—really looked. The tension in her shoulders, the fear in her eyes. He sighed.

"We're telling them the truth. You can't keep running from it."

She nodded, eyes shining. "I'm sorry. For dragging you into this. For the lie." She hesitated, then added in a small voice, "Can we still be friends? After this? I'll do anything—"

"Blake." He cut her off gently. "I'm not going anywhere. I just want you to be happy. And honest. That's all."

Her cheeks flushed dark. She nodded again, quicker this time.

They returned to the table. Kali was teaching Mia a Menagerie finger-game; Ghira watched them with quiet wonder.

Blake took a deep breath. "Mom. Dad. I… lied. About Jaune and me. And about Mia."

Kali's ears twitched. Ghira merely grunted, unsurprised.

"We knew," Kali said softly. "The moment you started talking, sweetheart. You've never been a good liar to us."

Ghira's deep voice rumbled. "But we're glad you're fixing it."

Blake explained—carefully, haltingly. The real story. Katie. Mia. How Jaune had become part of their extended family at Beacon. How Blake had grown to love the little girl like an aunt.

When she finished, silence settled again, gentler this time.

Ghira turned to Jaune. "And you, young man. What are your intentions toward my daughter?"

Jaune met his gaze steadily. "I care about her very deeply, sir. She's one of the best people I know—brave, kind, complicated in all the ways that matter. She's a good friend. Mia adores her. And so do I. I just want her to be happy."

Ghira studied him for a long moment. Then the corner of his mouth lifted in a slow, approving smile.

"Good answer."

Kali beamed, bouncing Mia lightly. "Very good answer."

Mia, who had been listening with the intense focus only children can manage, piped up. "I like Auntie Blake a lot! Can she be my new mommy?"

The table went still.

Blake's face went scarlet. Jaune's ears burned. Kali and Ghira exchanged a long, knowing look—smirks barely contained.

Jaune coughed. "We'll… talk about that later, kitten."

 

[Balorak146]

Ghira turned to Jaune. "And you, young man. What are your intentions toward my daughter?"

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"Considering that she just lied about conceiving my daughter when she would have been about twelve, thus falsely painting me as a pedophile? None, whatsoever!"

- What Jaune should have said.

 

[Sir Borks-a-Lot]

"Considering that she just lied about conceiving my daughter when she would have been about twelve, thus falsely painting me as a pedophile? None, whatsoever!"

- What Jaune should have said.

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I forgot, was he aged up in this one? If not, then he should be the same age as Blake, so it shouldn't count as pedophilia.

 

[Balorak146]

I forgot, was he aged up in this one? If not, then he should be the same age as Blake, so it shouldn't count as pedophilia.

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I should hope that Jaune was aged up a little, considering that Mia is supposed to be almost five.

 

[Dragon Bob]

I forgot, was he aged up in this one? If not, then he should be the same age as Blake, so it shouldn't count as pedophilia.

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Nope, the idea is basically that Jaune had an accident child with his childhood girl friend. Mia is around 4, and would have been born when Blake was 14-15. (She's younger than 4 at the start of the series, Blake is 18 at the start, it's been some number of months).

 

[Dragon Bob]

I should hope that Jaune was aged up a little, considering that Mia is supposed to be almost five.

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Nope, Mia starts as almost 4. And was the result of Jaune and his equally young girlfriend not using protection. The girlfriend died from complications.
It's a real thing that happens every day.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

"Considering that she just lied about conceiving my daughter when she would have been about twelve, thus falsely painting me as a pedophile? None, whatsoever!"

- What Jaune should have said.

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I aged up everyone and for fuck's sake, it's COMEDY. Relax guys, don't take it so seriously.

 

[Sliverhero]

"A VERY GOOD BOY"

Beacon Academy slept uneasily.
Not because of Grimm. Grimm were honest. They roared, they charged, they died. Grimm obeyed rules. Tonight, the rules had called in sick.

It began with a sound, a low, wrong vibration that crawled through the bones of the academy and settled behind the eyes. The stars above Beacon flickered, as though someone were blinking them out one by one. Jaune Arc, returning late from the training hall, stopped mid-step. "…Huh," he muttered. "That's new."
The sky split, not cracked, not even to shatter.
It jusy unzipped.

Blackness spilled through, thick and wet, folding into itself like an impossible ocean pouring through a wound in reality. The air twisted. Gravity forgot which way was down. Stone screamed as the courtyard warped beneath unseen weight. All the emergency sirens howled, then nearly every Light burst. Students poured out of dorms, weapons drawn, panic rising in waves. "Grimm breach!" someone screamed while freaking out. "No," Blake whispered, staring into the void. "That's not Grimm."

Something began to emerge.
It came out slowly piece by piece, a claw that bent backwards through space, a cluster of eyes forming where shadows overlapped, fur melting into chitin, chitin into mouths chanting syllables that tasted like copper and regret. Yang planted her feet and just stared . "Okay. Nope. That's a final boss." Weiss was already calculating Dust usage and realizing none of it mattered.
Pyrrha felt the pull of it, not magnetic, not physical, but inevitable, like the universe had decided this thing belonged here now.
Ozpin watched from the tower, utterly still, fearimg it is the ends of days.

The thing landed, the impact cratered the courtyard and knocked half the students off their feet, but the damage reverse its self and then a red substance started to leak out and it smelled like copper.The creature loomed, towering, asymmetrical, its form constantly rewriting itself as if reality couldn't agree on what it was allowed to be.

Its many mouths opened.The very world paused waiting to hear the death scream to end it.a
Instead.... "Wrrrrrhhh?" Jaune blinked."…Brutus?"
The sound died. The creature froze mid-existence. Every whisper ceased. Every mouth closed except one, which quivered.
Then that thing screamed. A sound of pure, ecstatic recognition ripped through the academy. Windows exploded outward. Time hiccupped. The monster surged forward in a blur of claws, tentacles, and folded space, slamming into Jaune and wrapping him in a catastrophic hug. Students scattered.
Yang screamed worried , "JAUNE IS DEAD..."

"Hey! Careful!" Jaune protested as he vanished beneath a mass of impossible limbs. "You're way bigger than last time!" Brutus nuzzled him, purring like a collapsing galaxy. One tongue brushed Jaune's visor and briefly showed him the birth and death of seven universes.
Jaune laughed. "Aw, I missed you too, buddy."
Silence followed. Weiss's sword clattered to the ground.

Blake slowly lowered her weapons. "…That thing just tackled Jaune and didn't kill him."
"It licked him," Yang said faintly. "I saw it lick him." Jaune finally extracted himself, armor dented but intact, and waved awkwardly at the crowd. "Uh. False alarm, everyone."
He patted Brutus's shifting flank. The creature leaned into the touch, causing three nearby trees to reverse their own growth. "This is Brutus. He's my family pet."

No one spoke.

"…Your what?" Pyrrha asked still shocked.
"I found him in the woods when I was a kid," Jaune explained. "Technically between woods. And dimensions. He was stuck in a loop and crying, so I helped him out." Brutus sniffed proudly. A nearby statue wept blood.
"My mom said I could keep him if he promised not to eat the neighbors," Jaune added. "He promised."

Brutus nodded. Reality warped to acknowledge this vow. That was when Zwei waddled into the courtyard. The corgi paused, stared at the towering eldritch horror, and wagged his tail.
Brutus noticed. The two locked eyes.
Something ancient passed between them.
Zwei sat.

Brutus slowly lowered his head, folding space around himself so he could be eye-level.
They nodded, both equal, both Veterans but more important then anything else both are good boys.

Jaune stared. "…Why does Zwei understand him?" Zwei barked. A third-year student fainted.
Ozpin cleared his throat from the tower balcony.
"Mr. Arc," he said carefully, "would you kindly explain why a transdimensional entity of unknowable power has responded to your presence like an overexcited puppy?"
Jaune scratched Brutus behind a cluster of gently screaming horns. "He gets lonely," Jaune said. "I haven't visited in a while."
Brutus whimpered.

A constellation vanished in the sky vanished.
Glynda Goodwitch pinched the bridge of her nose. "Of course he does." Jaune smiled apologetically. "Sorry about the mess."
Brutus wagged something that might have been a tail. The moon flickered. Zwei barked again, approvingly.

Ozpin sighed, deep and tired.
"…Very well," he said. "Mr. Arc, please escort your… pet… home before reality collapses completely." Jaune saluted. "Yes, sir."
He turned to Brutus. "C'mon, boy. Let's go before you get us in trouble." Brutus purred, folded himself impossibly small, and followed Jaune like a loyal shadow that occasionally screamed in ancient tongues.

The sky slowly stitched itself closed.
Students stared. Yang finally broke the silence. "…We're never topping that." Blake nodded. "I'm not sleeping tonight." Weiss whispered, "I'm transferring." Zwei trotted after Jaune, tail high.
Behind them, Ozpin quietly wrote a new rule into Beacon's records:
ARC FAMILY PETS REQUIRE PRIOR COSMIC APPROVAL.

 

[dragon_cloud16]

Behind them, Ozpin quietly wrote a new rule into Beacon's records:
ARC FAMILY PETS REQUIRE PRIOR COSMIC APPROVAL.

Click to shrink...

And now that idea of Jaune being a supernatural magnet is back. With his first ever girlfriend getting ready to...

"HEY! I CAN INTRODUCE MYSELF! Ahem, I am the Chaos that Comes Crawling with a Smile! Nyarlthrotep!"
"GO HOME NYARUKO!" 'Stabs in head with a Fork'
"TAJADOL!"