[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

After Nora runs out, Jaune is faced with his other friends all staring at him in disbelief and some in anger.

Pyrrha: "I mean... How could you? Nora?! After all we've been through?!"

Jaune: "Huh?!"

Ruby: "Don't listen to her! What about me?!"

Jaune: "I do this for all of you!"

He is naturally referring to breakfast.

Pyrrha: gasp "Then... You want all of us?!"

Ruby: "He... He's so... Can we do that?!"

Yang: "You-You want all of us-?!"

Jaune: "YES! I want everyone to enjoy this and BE HAPPY! That's it! That's literally all I want for all of us! ALL OF US TOGETHER!"

Pyrrha: "B-But Jaune, what will-What will my fans-my agent-my mother-"

Jaune: "Who cares what they think?! They're not here now, are they?! You are an adult and you make your own damn decisions, Pyrrha! So stop hiding behind your fears and take responsibility! You've got it in you, Pyrrha! I know you do!"

Pyrrha: "R-Really...?"

Jaune: exasperated "YES! You can learn! Just because you were rich and isolated doesn't mean you can't help take care of things!"

Again, he is referring to breakfast.

Weiss: "Wh-Who are you to tell us how to live our lives?!"

Jaune: "If we're gonna be sharing our lives, we need to all pitch in, damnit! Your past experiences don't give you an excuse to at least try! Understand?"

Weiss: "I... Y-yes... You're right, Jaune! You're right!"

Ruby: "Even... Even if I don't think I'm good enough-"

Jaune: "You are good enough, Ruby! You're all good enough!"

Once again, to help with breakfast. Jaune looks around in concern at how emotional everyone is being.

Jaune: "H-Hey, are you guys okay-?"

Blake: blush "H-Hey! You can't... You can't talk that way to me! I'm the one who has suffered the most! I'm the one who works for-!"

Jaune: "You don't do ANY work, Blake! You don't get to complain!"

Blake: "... I... I mean-"

Jaune: "ZERO! You put in NO EFFORT (into breakfast) and run out when it gets messy, so don't you get on my case too!"

Blake: "... My Gods... You're right... I... I need to go!"

She runs off.

Yang: "BLAKE! Jaune, why'd you do that?!"

Jaune: "Because it's the truth! I put in all this damn effort and you forgive her for running off every time! And every time, I have to pick up after her and clean up the mess! Because I am ALWAYS HERE, Yang! Always here!"

Yang: shiny eyes "Y-You mean... You'll always be here-?"

Jaune: "YES! Because someone has to be! And I know you can do better! All of you can do better! And if we all work together, maybe we can make something truly better for all of us! But I'm tired of being the only one who does anything around here!"

Jaune leaves in utter exasperation. He sees Nora standing outside, sniffling.

Nora: "Jaune... I-I'm so sorry... Maybe I overreacted... You've been under so much pressure...! Of course you'd misinterpret something I said or did-!"

Jaune: "No Nora, no. This was... All me... I think? Anyway... Listen. If it means that much to you? I'll teach Ren how to make breakfast the way I do. Better, even. All just for you."

Nora: GASP "You'd do that for me?!"

Jaune: "I would do that for you both."

Nora: "OH THANK YOU JAUNE! THANK YOU!" she hugs him

Jaune: pats her awkwardly on the head "Sure thing... Sure thing..."

Nora: sniffle "You... You're not mad?"

Jaune: "I just want us all to be happy together, Nora."

Nora: sniffles, looks to Ren "RENNY!" She hugs him "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

Ren: long suffering look, then smiles "Always, Nora."

Nora: sobs "You're too good to me, Renny!"

Jaune: "Uh... So... Want to learn how to make breakfast my way, Ren?"

Ren: "Of course."

Jaune, Nora, and Ren enter the common room. Jaune looks grave as all the other teammembers have been talking. Blake has returned.

Jaune: "Hey guys... I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries-"

Pyrrha: "N-No... No. You were right."

Blake: "Completely. About everything."

Ruby: "We... If you're willing to accept us... We'll all be in this together."

Yang: "So that no one is ever alone again."

Weiss: "Despite our issues at first, Jaune... I am willing to try. Just like you."

Jaune: "Uhhh... Sure? How about we start by cleaning up the dishes?"

Blake: "Of course, Jaune!"

Jaune: "Great... Glad I won't be the only one putting in the work around here..."

Pyrrha: all smiles "Never again, Jaune~."

Jaune: Why the hell is everyone so dramatic about breakfast?! Freaking Hunters are crazy, man....

 

[AndrewJTalon]

So, since I made Shampoo Yang and Ruby's aunt, it seems logical to have their grandmother on Taiyang's side be based on another Chinese badass. So I pick the landlady from Kung Fu Hustle:

That said, she's got a fair amount of Cologne's influence in her.

Granny Long looks over the boys of Beacon.

Cardin: "Who brought the old hag?"

Granny Long: WHAM

Cardin: "URK!"

Jaune: "I'm the first to admit I'm not at all worldly, and I still know the rule about acting incautiously when confronting smiling older ladies."

Granny Long: "I looked like Little Yang until I was eighty, you sassy little thing!"

Cardin: "And how many centuries ago was that?"

Granny Long: (WHAM) "Two." (WHAM) "For flinching."

Cardin: "URK!"

Later...

Granny Long: looking at Ren and Jaune "Orphan boy, wish I'd found you sooner. You'd have been great grandson-in-law and student!"

Ren: "Thank you?"

Granny Long: looks at Jaune "You powerful, full of potential, and dumb! Perfect grandson-in-law material!"

Jaune: "No I'm... Isn't!"

Granny Long: "Granddaughters! You can date these two! Get on with it, Yang, make me great-grandchildren!"

Yang: "I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!"

Granny Long: "You not thinking of Kitty Brat, are you?"

Yang: "What, no! I've have to get my arm cut off to think about dating Blake!"

Jaune: "I... Is that a sex thing or... What?"

Granny Long: "Good! Got two choices for grandson-in-law!"

Yang: "I'm just not interested in that, Granny!"

Granny Long: "When you be interested? When you too old to attract anyone?"

Yang: "I'M EIGHTEEN!"

Granny Long: "Would be old maid in my day! Had ten boys fighting for me when I was your age!"

Yang: "I mean I want to see the world, have adventures-"

Granny Long: "Had adventures while married and pregnant too! Beat up warlord and his tribe while your auntie was in me!"

Yang: "Is that why she talks like that-" WHAM "OW!"

Granny Long: "No, her husband just think she cute like that. Don't be rude!"

Yang: "I'm not getting married just because you're being pushy!"

Granny Long: "You wanna end up like Goodwitch?"

Yang: "What, a total badass?"

Granny Long: "She lives in tiny apartment. Has cat. Sometimes accidentally eats cat food when she's all alone!"

Goodwitch: "How did you-I DID NOT! THAT'S RIDICULOUS!"

Yang: "I... Seriously? Wow. Still not gonna get married when I'm barely EIGHTEEN!"

Granny Long: "Fine! Ruby! You be good granddaughter and date blond idiot!"

Ruby: "Okay!"

Yang: "GRANNY!"

Granny Long: "Fine, you date blond idiot. I'll see if I can find someone suitable for her. You might have to share."

Yang: "SERIOUSLY?!"

Granny Long: "This Jaune-boy is one of only two respectful males in this heap of rubble. You don't want him, not gonna let Ruby miss out. You can have Quiet Polite One!"

Nora: "NOBODY'S TAKING REN FROM ME!" Manic, holding up her hammer as lightning crackles around her

Granny Long: "Oh really? You kill for him?"

Nora: "I'LL SLAUGHTER ENTIRE VILLAGES FOR HIM!" Huffs huffs "I'LL BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD, STARTING WITH YOU! I'LL PUT IT ALL IN A BIG FUCKING TUB!"

Granny Long: "You orphan?"

Nora: "YES!"

Granny Long: "Not anymore! Welcome to family! You adopted now!"

Nora: "WOOHOO! GRANNY!"

Granny Long: hugs her "Granddaughter!"

Yang, Ren, Jaune, and Ruby: "What."

Granny Long: "I like her spunk!"

 

[FarmerKyle]

*uncle goes off to prove to the young whipper snappers that magic is real, and Jaune is the perfect apprentice/BOY!/helper/minimum-wage labor*

i can see Uncle doing this to prove to the silly fools about real magic.

Click to shrink...

*Uncle is hopping on one foot, wearing a headband of lit sticks of incense, waving a pufferfish in one hand and a pouch of herbs in the other*

Uncle: Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao. (Repeat ad nauseum)

*Surrounding Grimm are flinching away with each chant. Team RWBY watches, dumbfounded*

Ruby: *Confused*

Yang: *Amazed*

Weiss: *Sputtering Disbelief*

Blake: Huh, magic IS real.

Weiss: *whirls to Blake* This ISN'T magic! It's obvious this is just Mister Uncle's Semblance!!

*Uncle points the pufferfish at a slow beowolf and fires a laser at it. The Grimm is vaporised.*

Ruby & Yang: COOL!

Weiss: *huffing and puffing in denial*

Blake: Then how do you explain that?

Uncle: I told you, magic must defeat magic!

Weiss: *Screeches in Shattering Worldview*

 

[SharkCultist]

-A little girl gets lost on Beacon and Velvet finds her and takes care of her. Turns out she's Cardin's little sister. Write from there!

Click to shrink...

*Velvet is in the middle of the beacon courtyard paralyzed by a mixture of confusion and shyness as a little orang haired girl in a white bunny onesie crawls all over her*

Velvet: someone help? Please?

Little girl: bunny.

*As the girl continues to crawl and snuggle velvet a frantic Cardin happens across them*

Cardin: Samantha Jay Winchester! You can't go wandering off here.

Sam: bunny.

*Cardin finally notices velvet*

Cardin: oh no.

Velvet: ouch. I thought you were being nice now.

Cardin: I didn't mean it like that! It's just Sam really likes bunnies.

Sam: bunny.

Velvet: Cardin. Shes three.

Cardin: four actually she's just small.

Velvet: she's four. How big a problem can she be?

*Cardin grabs a nearby stick and lightly pokes sam. Sam grabs the stick and squeezes turning it into splinters*

Velvet: what the f-

Cardin: four year old!

Velvet: -unnel cake?!

Cardin: dad awakened moms aura when she was pregnant with Sam in the hopes it would lessen some of the pregnancy pains. Ended up awakening Sam's aura and making it SO much worse.

Sam: bunny.

*Velvet still as a statue*

Velvet: Cardin. Please get this child off me before she decides to hug me and pop me like a grape.

*Cardin starts tugging on Sam who doesn't let go. Velvet also tries to pull herself away from Sam. Sam eventually yanks both of them which causes a lip lock/headbutt and leaves them both unconscious and blushing with a four year old sitting on top of them*

Sam: *smugly* bunny.

Edit:

Wanted to also explain my choice for the name.

Cardin is based off of the Cardinal on Winchester.

A cardinal is also a type of bird. So I picked Jay for her middle name because it's a bird. Keeps her slightly in theme with her brothers team. The name Sam is just to make a supernatural joke.

 

[dwennon]

-A little girl gets lost on Beacon and Velvet finds her and takes care of her. Turns out she's Cardin's little sister. Write from there!

Click to shrink...

Well to take this in a different direction than you might've been thinking. And right after I woke up too.

---

Passing a corner, Velvet came across a little girl holding an old plush bunny that was missing an eye spinning in place. Stopping, she tilted her head as the little kept spinning with the plush toy held in her arms. Until she fell onto the ground after a solid minute of spinning.

Rushing over to check on the little girl, she sat up as soon as Velvet got to her. No tears in her eyes. Looking up at Velvet as the huntress got to her, the little girl tilted her head.

"Why do you look like grandma?"

"Eh, what?"

"You look like grandma in her picture book."

"A-ah, okay then." Nodding with a confused expression, Velvet tilted her head. "But, what are you doing here? This is a school for hunters and huntresses."

"I wanted to see big bro. He said if mommy said it was okay and I was careful to not get lost I could come see him for a little bit. But I got lost."

"Oh, that's not good. How about we get you back to him. What's his name? And what's yours?"

"I'm Carmine, and big bro is Cardin."

Eyes widening, Velvet nodded to the girl. "Okay, I think I know who that is or where I can find them. "

Before Velvet could do much more, Cardin came running over to them. Falling to a knee next to Carmine panting, reaching out to hold her by the shoulders and looking her over. "Carmine, what did I tell you."

"Not to get lost. But I thought I saw something over here, and then it looked cool when I decided to spin. And then I fell."

"Alright, well just try to stay as close to me as you can."

"Okay~" Nodding, Carmine then pointed a finger at Velvet to the wince of the rabbit faunus. "But why does she look like grandma."

"Look like..." Turning his head, Velvet lamely waved back. "Ah, that's...because she's our cousin."

"Oh, then why hasn't she been around for my birthdays?"

"Ah, our dad and hers are fighting. We haven't seen each other since a few years before you were born."

"Yeah, and I used to terrorize him when we were younger."

"Really? Okay then. Can you come to my birthdays next time?"

"...We'll see."

 

[FarmerKyle]

-Ozpin didn't actually keep the Relics in the Vaults. That would be too obvious. Instead they were all hidden away in various places with clever fakes in the Vaults. One of them, the Crown, is kept in Taiyang Xiao-Long's home.

Click to shrink...

It was another day in the home of Taiyang Xiao-Long and his family. Summer Rose, his wife, was out on another mission with their friend and teammate, Qrow Branwen, while he stayed home to watch their daughters, Yang and Ruby. Taiyang was cleaning dishes in the kitchen while Zwei, the family's corgi, was chewing on a dog toy in the corner. The dog stops and raises his head, ears up, before Zwei lets out a woof of warning. Before Taiyang can question the dog on what Zwei heard, the blond began to hear the thumping of excited running up stairs.

"Girls! No running in the house!" Taiyang yelled, the sounds of running immediately disappearing. Sighing fondly, the father returns his attention to the dishes. "Those girls. Too much energy."

A minute goes by before Taiyang can hear his daughters coming downstairs. "Hey dad, check out this thing we found!" his eldest daughter, Yang, demands excitedly. "Mmm! It's pretty!" Ruby, the youngest, declares as well.

"Alright, alright, girls! Just give me a moment to finish here." Taiyang acquiesces, chuckling some at his girls' enthusiasm. In no time at all, the man finishes the last plate and starts drying his hands. "Now tell me, what has you two so excited?" Taiyang asks, turning around to face the two girls while drying his hands with a dish towel.

There stood his daughters, Yang looking more and more like her mother every year, and Ruby looking like a smaller copy of Summer. Yang held in her hands a closed jewelry box that Taiyang had trouble identifying for a moment, before his eyes settled on the simple but elegant and debossed designs that covered the box.

"Well, Uncle Qrow once said there was treasure in the attic, so we tried to find it!" proudly announced Yang, holding the jewelry box up, Ruby nodding her head too, before opening it.

Inside the box is a simple, yet beautiful, tiara. Made of gold, it shines in the sunlight that comes in through the window. Coming up in three peaks on the brow of the tiara are three rubies. Each seems to contain an inner fire as light enters and leaves the gems.

"Well I'll be, I haven't seen this for a while." Taiyang says, putting the dish towel on the counter and walking over to his girls. He smiles fondly at the memories the tiara brings forth.

"What is it? Is it moms? Is it pirate treasure?!" excitedly asks Ruby.

Taiyang: "Not quite. It was my mother's, actually. And her mother's before that."

Yang & Ruby: Wow!

Tai: This is actually something that's been passed down through my family, our family, for generations. Typically from mother to daughter. Other times though, men would use it to propose.

Yang: Huh...

Ruby: Really?! So it is Mom's!

Taiyang: Heh, heh, I suppose. There's actually a story attached to this. A long time ago, in the times of myth and legend, an old wizard gave this tiara to our many-times great grandmother. She'd actually gone out of her way to help an old man, giving him shelter and food during a harsh winter. He told her, "For choosing to help a stranger, giving them hearth and food, I gift this to you. May your kindness bless others as you have blessed me." He then just disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Ruby: So cool!

Yang: Neat. So was he a hunstman or something?

Tai: Probably one of the first. But wizard certainly sounds cooler, don'tcha think?

Ruby: Yeah!

PS - I got tired of story format, as you can tell.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Cardin Winchester was trying. He really was trying to not be a jerkass. He'd recognized how much of a jerkass he was and he was making amends.

He'd apologized to Velvet, and while it took a lot of effort, she at least was willing to speak to him. Her team wasn't glaring death at him. It was a start, but it was a good one. He thought he was doing okay, honestly. Sure, they weren't exactly friends but at least they didn't hate each other.

All of this went through Cardin's mind as he saw Velvet hurry up to him as he sat studying under a tree on the quad. He blinked at her through the harsh midday sun as she came to a stop right in front of him, panting hard.

"... Something I can help you with?" He asked.

Velvet nodded quickly.

"Y-Yes... Um... Stand up?"

Cardin blinked.

"Wha-?"

"Please?" Velvet asked, pressing her hands together as though in desperate prayer. Her pleading look helped.

Damnit why does she have to be so damn cute? He thought grumpily as he stood up. He spread his arms out, feeling a bit annoyed.

"Okay? Now what?"

"Wrap your arms around me," Velvet ordered. Cardin blinked.

"What-?"

"Just do it, please?" Velvet begged. Cardin sighed, and reached out to take her in an awkward hug, his arms staying straight. Velvet rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Oh for...!"

She reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pushed herself up on tippy toes to kiss him. His eyes bulged out as her warm lips met his and electricity went right through him.

What is this?! Why is she doing this?! WHY IS THIS AMAZING?! He thought frantically, but everything else was overridden by his teenaged hormones which all screamed:

HOT BUNNY GIRL KISS KISS!

Velvet broke the kiss (DAMNIT ME WANT MORE KISSU! His hormones screamed) before she turned and scowled over her shoulder. Cardin dazedly followed her gaze. His eyes narrowed.

Hex Skvader was a rabbit Faunus too. He had dark black hair, black ears pointed like knives, green eyes, and a smug pretty boy face that just seemed to beg to get punched. He was another upperclassman who was, quite frankly, a dick. Which was saying something coming from Cardin.

Honestly, he was glad he'd stopped his bullying when he did because Hex made him look like a saint.

"What... You... How could you... With a human?!" Hex sputtered.

"He's my boyfriend and we're very happy together!" Velvet growled, leaning into Cardin. His arms instinctively wrapped more tightly around her. The outraged look on Hex's face as he glared at them. At Velvet. There was a possessiveness in his eyes, a childish anger over not getting what he wanted.

Cardin couldn't help but enjoy the idea of this smug prick not getting what he wanted.

"Yeah, so beat it, Jackass," Cardin sneered.

Hex worked his jaw.

"Is he blackmailing you?" He demanded. "This smug human prick abusing you-?"

"NO! I-I care for him! So back off already!" Velvet growled. She elbowed Cardin a bit, and, anti-faunus or not anti-faunus, he mustered some spine at Hex's sneer.

"She told you, back off, twink."

"Twink?!" Hex growled. "I'm manlier than a shaved ape like you could ever be!"

"And yet," Cardin stated, "She's choosing me. Not you."

Hex gritted his teeth. He turned and stormed off, muttering curses under his breath. They watched him go for a while, and Cardin's brain pointed out all sorts of great things about holding Velvet! She was warm, soft, curvy and-

She pushed away, breathing a sigh of relief. She smiled up at him apologetically.

"Um... S-Sorry," she managed, "I uh... I was out of ideas to get him off my back."

WHY HOT BUNNY GIRL NOT HUG NO MORE?! Cardin's hindbrain demanded. Cardin coughed.

"I uh... M-Maybe some warning next time...?"

Velvet blushed.

"I... Yeah... I-I was looking for Yatsuhashi but uh..."

"Yatsuhashi?!" Cardin blurted out. Velvet blinked.

"What? What's wrong with him?"

HE'S NOT ME! ME WANT HOT BUNNY GIRL! His hormones crowed. Cardin coughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I-I mean... It... Would make things on your team awkward, wouldn't it?" He tried.

Velvet coughed, and looked to the side.

"I-I mean... Maybe a little," she said, "I... But we're a little-"

"Hey, uh... I'm... Trying to turn over a new leaf, right?" Cardin suggested quickly. "I... I'm fine with helping you out. I should help you out."

Velvet frowned.

"You sure? It's... I mean, you're not exactly fond of us..."

HOT BUNNY GIRRRRRL! His hindbrain bellowed.

"I uh... I-I'm... Changing my opinions," Cardin clarified nervously, "As I... Get to know you better. Sides... Um... Again... I want to do some good."

Velvet beamed. Cardin's heart practically sang.

"Really?"

"Y-Yeah!" Cardin said, giving her a thumbs up, "I um... I'm willing to help you however you need me to! Even... Even being a fake boyfriend!"

"I..." Velvet nodded. "Okay... I... Thank you. I'm sorry if it's gonna be hard on you."

"You have no idea," Cardin muttered.

"Huh?"

"N-Nothing!"

- - -

 

[Guikoi]

I have... not an idea for a story, but rather an idea for a species of Grimm.

The Goblin:

The Goblin is a three foot tall bipedal humanoid Grimm. Relatively unarmored, barring the ever-present masks. Armed with sharp teeth and claws, with nothing else. Overall, an extremely weak Grimm. What makes them so dangerous is that they are surprisingly intelligent for their size and age. Even young Goblins can plan ambushes and traps, and work together with other Goblins.

The Goblin takes the human strength of society and team work, and turns it against humanity.

Goblins are tribal, living in communities that can range from hundreds of individuals to hundreds of thousands. As Grimm don't need to eat or drink, the only thing stopping a Goblin tribe from increasing in size is the space available to them.

A Goblin Alpha is four feet tall and has more armor. Other than being a better version of a Goblin, there's not much difference.

The Goblin Nest:

This Grimm is created by Goblins. It is their method of reproduction and how they refill their ranks. Normally hidden away in caves, in large trees, or other places within the Goblins' territory that is difficult to find or reach.

It takes the form of a 10 foot tall tree, but the size can vary. A tree made not of bark but of Grimm flesh and muscle. It has no leaves, but many branches.

It is mostly sedentary, remaining rooted to the spot. However, if the tribe moves their territory, the Goblin Nest can uproot itself and move with them. However, it is slow and cannot defend itself. Unlike other Grimm it does not act to attack humans. If unrooted it will retreat when faced with humans. If rooted, it will push its productive capabilities into overdrive to spawn as many Goblins as it can as fast as it can.

To create more Goblins, a Nest will form fruit-like pods across its surface. Both the trunk and branches will form these pods. The fruit will fill with the Ichor that makes up a Grimm, and that Ichor will form more Goblins. Once it is ready, the pod will simply drop off and pop open upon hitting the ground, freeing the Grimm inside.

Each pod can form up to a certain amount of Goblins. A single pod can birth up to a dozen Goblins at once, with at least one being an Alpha. Greater Goblins can be formed in groups of up to six, with an Alpha in every two Greater Goblin pods. Goblin Shamans are formed in groups of up to four, with an Alpha in every two pods. Hobgoblins can be formed in groups of up to two at a time.

Goblin Kings are formed only in very large pods, and only one per pod. Only very powerful Goblin Nests can make them.

A Goblin Nest can, on average, drop a few dozen pods a day, but when threatened it can form and drop pods a couple dozen a minute. Though keeping this rate of production going for long periods can and will kill the Nest.

A newly born Goblin Nest will have a lower production capacity, while the oldest and biggest Nests can out-perform an average overdrived Nest with its normal production. Ancient Goblin Nests are SSS-Class threats because their reproductive power outclasses every other Grimm.

A Goblin Nest is formed from at least 10 Goblins, preferrably more, coming together and fusing. This fusion will form the Goblon Nest. More Goblins can fuse with the Nest to increase its size and capabilities.

When a Goblin tribe gets large enough, they will form a second Goblin Nest. Though even small tribes will sometimes form more than one if they have the soace and hidden spots for it.

An Alpha Goblin Nest has never been documented, but is hypothetically possible were one to be made solely from Alpha Goblins. The hypothesized capabilities of such a Grimm have caused the hypothetical Alpha Goblin Nest to accrue a danger class of SSSS+. One of very few Grimm, even hypothetical ones, to receive such a rating.

The Greater Goblin:

A Variant form of Goblin. These Goblins are as big as Alpha Goblins, but are more armored. Their arms are covered in bone armored plating, with a hole present on the top of the arm.

This hole is their weapon. A Greater Goblin has a "horn blade" that is present within their forearms. The hole in their armor is to accomodate their horn blades. This gives them far greater reach compared to their lesser counterparts.

Greater Goblins act as the "knight" of a Goblin society. They are almost always the first into battle. They will defend the tribe and Nest with their whole being. To the death.

An Alpha Greater Goblin is five feet tall, with much more armor. They are heavily protected brutes who will throw themselves in the way of enemies, letting themselves get battered and thrown around. Their armor affords them the luxury of taking powerful blows that would kill even a Hobgoblin, and leave an Alpha Greater Goblin unharmed.

The Goblin Shaman:

A Goblin Shaman is almost exactly like a normal Goblin. The only visual differences are a third eye, and two antler-like horns.

Goblin Shamans are one of the few Grimm species with unexplained abilities. Like an Apathy which can drain away the emotions and wills of those near them, a Shaman is capable of "magical" effects.

Goblin Shamans can control elements like Dust can. Though they are not that powerful. A Shaman can shoot a fist sized ball of flame. A dart of sharpened ice. A palm-sized stone. A small blade of focused wind. A bolt of electricity. And more.

However, Goblin Shamans are more noted for their other abilities. They can create zones, or bubbles, around the battlefield that will slow their enemies movements. They can create hard-light barriers to close off potential routes for retreating. They can turn the ground beneath a huntsman into sticky tar to trap them. They can even create an obscuring mist that only Grimm can see through.

They will act intelligently to use their abilities. They will hide within the tides of normal Goblins, or outside of a huntsman's sight. They will create small ankle-high walls of dirt to try to trip a huntsman and get them swarmed. They will use gravoty to throw enemies off balance. They will create flashes of light to blind and disorient.

Alpha Goblin Shamans are even stronger. An Alpha Shaman's other abilities are also stronger. They can lock down a lone huntsman by increasing gravity's effect on them, letting its allies slowly whittle the huntsman down. They can apply "curses" onto an enemy, making aura harder to use, or temporarily sealing off a huntsman's Semblance. They can also apply "blessings" to their fellow Grimm, giving them a temporary "Pseudo-Aura" shield or making them stronger and faster.

It's highly recommended that Huntsmen and Huntresses seek out and kill any Goblin Shamans, especially Alpha Shamans, before facing any other threat. Even if a dozen Alpha Hobgoblins are bearing down on you, the Shamans are priority number one.

It has been said that even Veteran Huntsmen find Goblin Shamans, especially multiple at once, infuriating to fight. One even described a fight against a Alpha Shaman and two other Shamans as "the most difficult fight in my life", not because they were particularly powerful, but rather "because I wanted to fucking kill myself instead of fighting them."

The Hobgoblin:

The Hobgoblin stands at ten feet tall, though is normally close to seven feet as they prefer to walk in a quadeupedal fashion like a Gorilla or Beringal.

A Hobgoblin is vastly different in appearance to a Goblin. For one the Hobgoblin has hair. A mane of spikey blood red hair pokes out from behind their bone mask, two long horns flowing up and back, almost framing its mane.

Hobgoblin legs are short and stubby, but are well muscled to allow for them to move bipedally for a short time. But their arms are much longer and just as built, allowing them a surprising reach advantage over most weapons other than firearms. Their tails, a bodypart no other tyoe of Goblin has, allows them to strike at flanking opponents, or to use it as a prehensile limb to facilitate mobility.

They are smaller and weaker than Beringals, but are more intelligent and will work with their tribe to take down their enemies. Multiple Hobgoblins will focus on attacking a single target. Provoking them to attack separate targets is difficult, but can be done. For example; if a Hobgoblin's ability to perceive and communicate or hear its fellows is disrupted, they are unlikely to target the same individual, allowing them to be fought and killed separately.

Hobgoblins will almost always come in groups of two or more, but lone ones are not unheard of.

The Goblin King:

Also known as an "Alpha Hobgolin".

A Goblin King dwarfs every other Goblin species of Grimm. In fact, it dwarfs most Grimm in total. It's easily as big as a Goliath.

It is, in appearance, similar to its lesser Hobgoblin variety. But it has more hair growing all over it. On its arms and legs, its tail and its back. All are covered in blood red hair. It also has an extra two horns.

Similar to a Goblin Nest, the King can spawn more Goblins to help it. Specifically, it can spawn Hobgoblins. By vomiting out a wave of black Ichor, around a dozen or so Hobgoblins will be formed.

In a way, the Goblin King embodies Goblins as a whole. They can even use the same esoteric abilities as the Shamans and Alpha Shamans. The Goblin King can freeze huntsmen in place with a screech, and its gaze can incinerate a huntress from the inside out. It can fill the area in poisonous clouds, or create elemental walls and cubes to trap people.

Goblin Kings have been given a definitive SS-Class Danger Rating. Luckily, they are rare.

However, there is one particular Goblin King that has survives ages and grown much, much stronger.

The Goblin Emperor, is one of the roughly 30-ish Grimm who have been given an SSSS-Class Rating.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -



The room chosen for the meeting was known as the Serapis Room. It was in the same administrative Manor as the throne room, but had gotten a lot more use for diplomatic and business meetings. It was called the Serapis room because all the ornate wooden furniture was carved from the hull of the VMS Serapis, a formidable warship of the once globe-spanning Royal Vytalian Navy. Several cabinets filled with priceless china and golden and silver vessels lined the west side of the room, while large green curtains parted to reveal the balcony outside.



Not that Blake could appreciate the fine surroundings much-Not with how hard her mother was hugging her.



"Oh Blake, Blake, Blake!" Kali sobbed, "I'm so glad you're okay! I'm so happy~!"



"I-I'm really happy to see you too, Mom, really!" Blake insisted, hugging her mother back. Ghira had hugged her as well, but he was now giving the two space with a warm, fond smile.



"Oh I was so worried, I was so scared...!" Kali kissed the top of her daughter's head and nuzzled her between her ears, "Oh Blake...!"



"Easy Kali, you're going to smother her," Ghira chuckled. Kali pouted at her husband, still clutching tightly to Blake.



"It's been over two years, I think I'm entitled to shower my daughter with affection," she huffed. She beamed, and sniffled as tears came to her eyes yet again. "Especially when she's getting married and becoming a queen! OH BLAAAAKE!"



"URK! M-Mom...!" Blake gasped, as Kali again cuddled her relentlessly. "Dad, please...!"



Ghira sighed and shrugged.



"She's right, you know," he said with a little smile, "You owe us a lot of affection."



Blake looked down, the guilt rising hard and fast. Ghira, seeing this, shook his head.



"What's done is done, Blake," he said gently, "You can't let your guilt haunt you. You do have to deal with it but don't let it consume you."



"Y-yes Dad," Blake managed.



"So!" Kali said with a big grin, "How is our son-in-law?"



"He-He's wonderful, really," Blake insisted. She winced. "Despite um... The circumstances, and-and all..."



"Have you two...?" Kali prompted, waggling her eyebrows. Blake blushed deeply.



"M-MOM!"



"What? You two are engaged! And don't tell me all that erotica you've been reading has gone to waste!"



"Don't pester the girl, Kali," Ghira gently admonished. Kali pouted.



"I'm just saying! He's so handsome and tall and blond! Can you imagine the kittens they'll make?"



"MOMMM!" Blake groaned. "It... It's a little sudden!"



"It's also kind of vital to your political future, dear," Kali said kindly, "I mean, given how precarious the situation is and all."



Blake blinked quickly.



"Huh? What do you mean-?"



Jaune entered the room then, Doctor Oobleck at his side. He smiled apologetically.



"Sorry about that, Sir, Ma'am," he said with slight inclination of his head, "I'm ready to begin when you are."



"Of course, of course," Ghira said with a nod and smile. Kali reluctantly let go of Blake. Jaune smoothly walked up to her, and took her hand. She accepted it gratefully, and they sat together on a green lined couch. A matching couch sat across from them, where Kali and Ghira took their seats. Oobleck stood behind and to the right of Jaune, a supporting presence if ever there was one as he sipped his coffee.



"So," Jaune stated, activating a holoscreen, "This is the documentation of the old Laws of Alliance for the Valean Constitution. Under Section 4, paragraph 9, we initiated an Alliance of Mutual Defense. A temporary alliance between us based on some... Pretty outdated language."



"Which did require an engagement between myself and Jaune," Blake supplied quietly. Jaune nodded.



"Yeah... So... The treaty is made in an emergency, and lasts about thirty days under the current framework. Basically you give us military aid and we grant your troops as much local support as possible."



"And the engagement essentially gives you a hostage in the form of our daughter so we behave," Ghira stated bluntly. Jaune winced.



"I-I mean... In not so many words but-"



"It's okay, Jaune," Blake said quietly. She squeezed his hand. "That's how these old laws worked. It let us save Vale... I don't regret it."



"But," Ghira pointed out, "Backing out of a marriage alliance would be a bit of a disaster politically speaking... Not that this whole thing hasn't been a clusterfuck to begin with."



"Ghira," Kali gently admonished. Ghira snorted.



"What? Am I wrong?"



"Nope," Jaune sighed, even as Blake winced and Professor Oobleck smirked slighty behind his coffee cup. "I-I just... I'm not going to hurt Blake if things go wrong. Not now, not ever."



Blake squeezed his hand again. Jaune slowly nodded. Ghira smiled.



"Good. Now, we were aware of the old treaties. This current treaty needs to be replaced with something more modern and workable. I've worked with my advisors and diplomats on such a treaty." He inserted a datachip into the holoprojector. "Here is our proposal."



Blake could sense Jaune's tension. She really couldn't blame him. She knew her father was a good man, really, truly. She also knew politics was a cuthroat game, and Menagerie had Vale over a barrel. Menagerie's forces were the only thing keeping Vale from collapsing under the chaos of the Grimm right now. Sure, the Valean Rangers, Militias, Hunters, and even regular police were doing a lot better, but until some kind of defense force could be established, it was all on Menagerie.



She read the treaty proposal with Jaune in silence, occassionally reaching out to flip the page. Jaune frowned deeply, as Oobleck leaned over to read with him.



"Something wrong, Your Majesty?" Ghira asked.



"I uh..." Jaune looked over at Oobleck. The professor too was frowning in confusion. Blake read a bit more, and blinked rapidly.



"It's... Generous," Oobleck stated quietly. "Very generous. Extremely generous."



"Is it?" Kali asked with a small smile.



"Yeah," Jaune said with a nod, "I mean... Lowered tariffs on Menagerie goods is fine, but... You'll barely be making any money with these rates! An embassy? Assistance in creating your own Hunter Academy? And a standard mutual defense pact when we don't even have a military yet?"



Ghira smiled softly, and nodded.



"Indeed."



"I-I mean, it's barely thirty pages!" Jaune blurted out. "I thought this stuff was hundreds of pages long!"



"Usually, yes," Ghira said, "And there is a provision in the treaty to renegotiate it in two years' time."



At Jaune's continued disbelief Ghira sighed.



"Allow me to be open and honest with you, Your Majesty... Jaune. If I were in your position, I would be suspicious of any diplomatic overture I made. I can't blame you. Menagerie has been getting by finding loopholes and aggressively exploiting them. That, and Kali and I did found the White Fang. I imagine your advisors have been wondering if this is all a long con with the use of my own daughter to facilitate a better position for Menagerie."



Jaune managed to maintain his poker face at that. Blake blanched.



"N-No, I would never-!"



"I know," Jaune stated firmly. "So... Since we're being open and honest, what is your gameplan?"



Ghira let out a long, slow breath.



"It is because of those things and the White Fang we are doing things in this way," he stated firmly. "If we had not agreed to an alliance right then and there, then the last thing the rest of Remnant would have seen on the CCTnet was the White Fang brutally massacring innocent civilians and using Grimm to destroy a major city. The hatred and mistrust towards Faunus worldwide would skyrocket, which would increase Grimm attacks across the planet. I believe that was the intention of Cinder, and whoever is pulling her strings."



Jaune slowly nodded.



"I see," he said quietly.



"We still have a lot to make up for," Ghira went on, "My troops are on their best behavior but fights are still breaking out between them and Valeans. There are anti-Faunus attacks going on as well. The only way to thwart the plans of this puppetmaster, to save more lives, Faunus and human, was to ally with you. To offer you my daughter. And to ensure that the terms of our alliance were as beneficial to you as possible."



Ghira locked eyes with Jaune.



"I do want Menagerie to be recognized as the Fifth Kingdom. That goal has not changed. But I want to do it without destroying another Kingdom in the process. After all, in the end, the Grimm do not care if we are human or Faunus. They will consume us all."



Ghira sat back.



"That is the reason for this simple treaty," he said, "You can believe me or not, Your Majesty. That is your call. But I told you this because I believe you would see that there is very little reason for me to lie."



Jaune slowly nodded.



"True..."



He turned to Oobleck. He slowly nodded. Jaune turned back to Ghira and Kali.



"I'm going to have to talk to my advisors on this, and the final version will have to be ratified by the newly elected Council," Jaune stated, "We're organizing emergency elections right now but it's going to take some time."



Ghira was motionless, staring back at him. Jaune squeezed Blake's hand.



"However... I think I can authorize an extension of this emergency alliance," Jaune said carefully, "Especially since I will be marrying your daughter soon. That keeps it in play for a while longer as is."



Ghira looked over at Blake.



"Are you all right with this, Blake?" He asked, not as a politician, but as a father.



Blake swallowed, and nodded.



"I... I think I can do a lot more good for Faunus and Human relations... And-And the world... As a queen than as part of the White Fang," she said quietly, "And Jaune is a good man. We... We'll make it work."



Jaune managed to hide a blush at that.



"I'll see to the arrangements, Your Majesty," Oobleck stated, "I believe Glynda is on your wedding preparations, along with Port."



Jaune blinked in surprise.



"Professor Port does wedding planning?"



"I believe he will be handling the military side of things, a proper royal wedding requires battleship guns in the old Valean customs," Oobleck stated. He nodded respectfully to them all, "If you'll excuse me, Your Majesty?"



"Of course," Jaune said with a nod. Oobleck walked out, closing the door behind him. Kali sighed in relief.



"Well... If the work part of things is done for now," she looked intently at Jaune, "Jaune. I have heard you have seven sisters."



Jaune coughed.



"Ah, y-yeah. They're being brought here with my parents so I can update them on everything-"



"Is this common in your family?" She pressed.



Jaune stared at her. Blake winced.



"Mother..."



"Lots of kids? Yeah, usually," Jaune said, "I've lost track of how many cousins I have."



"Lots of twins and triplets?"



"Loads," Jaune agreed.



Kali beamed and clapped her hands together.



"Wonderful! I can't wait for the grandkittens! Oh they're going to be so cute! So blond!"



Jaune looked over at Blake for some kind of help. She sighed and shook her head, as she had none to offer.



"We'll work on it, Mom," Blake said, "Really."



"I mean, the best part of your royal duty includes needing to get laid and have kids!"



"MOM!" Blake groaned in exasperation, as Jaune blushed.



"Er, um... I-I mean, we'll... Definitely get to it..."



"It's just a... A little complicated, Mom," Blake said as she flattened her ears.



Kali stared at them, and sniffed.



"What? Other women in love with Jaune?"



Blake and Jaune blanched.



"MOM!"



"Ah, so there are!" Kali nodded, "I thought as much! Well, what have you been reading all those harem erotica novesl for if not for this moment?"



"MOMMMM!"



- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Doctor Oobleck: "Fortunately, there are many provisions in the Royal charter for taking on concubines and possibly second or third wives."



Jaune, beet-red: "T-thank you for the insight, Doctor!"



Oobleck: "You're welcome, Your Majesty. I have already informed Ms. Nikos of these provisions as well, for your benefit."




Elsewhere...



Nick: "Jaune... Senses... Tingling...!"



Isabel: "For the last time, dear, you don't have those-!"



A messenger arrives.



Messenger: "Ahem, Lord and Lady Arc? His Royal Highness King Jaune would like to invite you to Vale with the rest of your family to attend his Royal Wedding."



Isabel: "Royal Wedding?! Marriage?! WHAT?!"



Nick: "YES! MY SON IS SOOOO-Wait, who's he marrying?"



Messenger: "Ah, Princess Blake Belladonna of Menagerie."



Nick: "Wait, you mean Kali and Ghira's daughter? The hot catgirl princess?"



Messenger: "Yes My Lord."



Nick: "MY SON IS SOOOOO MANLYYYY!"



Isabel: bonks him on the head into the ground "IDIOT! STOP MAKING A SPECTACLE OF YOURSELF!"



Nick: muffled as his head is buried "But honeyyyyy...!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Russell: "Er, Boss... The hell are you doing dating an anim-I-I mean, Faunus?"



Cardin: "Nice catch, Russell. And I'm dating her to keep some creep off of her."



Sky: "With no ulterior motives whatsoever, right?"



Cardin: glares "The hell's that supposed to mean, Sky?"



Sky: "I-I'm just saying... I mean... Uh... Dove?"



Dove: sighs "You're acting like you're smitten with her, Cardin."



Cardin: "N-no! I mean, sure, she's a super hot bunny girl and all... And a good cook... And has a cute accent when she slips into it... And is hot when she curses..."



Much staring.



Cardin: "... Okay fine! So I like her a little! What's the big deal?"



Russell: "I'm just saying, Boss, you're getting in the way of Hex Skvader. He's an asshole but he's damn good at what he does. Namely, kicking ass. You really want to cross him?"



Cardin: "What's the worst that could happen?"



Elsewhere...



Hex: "My Lord.. I wish to join the White Fang. For my heart has been crushed by human filth."



Adam Taurus, sitting on a throne, stares at the rabbit Faunus who has come so far to him.



Adam: "How so?"



Hex: "A human male... A filthy hairless monkey... He stole... MY WAIFU!"



Hex sobs and holds up his Scroll with a photoshopped version of his wedding to Velvet.



Hex: "IT WAS GOING TO BE PERFECT! BUT I GOT NTR'D!"



Adam is expressionless... Before he rises, walks up to Hex, and pulls him up to his feet into a hug.



Adam: "Brother... WELCOME! We too know the pain of getting NTR'D by those pitiless human THUGS!"



Hex: sobs "BROTHER!"



Adam: "BROTHERRRRR!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

In Oobleck's class...

Oobleck: "As a Huntsman, while you belong to an apolitical system across all four kingdoms, politics is nevertheless a variable you will have to deal with at some point! Many prominent politicians were former Huntsmen or Huntresses, while others have a very negative view of us! You must be aware of the political situation as best you can! To ease you into this topic, we will be watching notable moments from the Valean Council minutes from the last session! Please make notes on anything that catches your interest!"

Yang: "Aw man... This is gonna suuuck..."

Weiss: "Pay attention! This is vitally important!"

Jaune: *sigh* "I hate to say it but she's right. My mom talked about politics at home all the time because of her job. It is important."

Yang: "So, can I bum some notes off you, Ladykiller?"

Nora: "Hey! His team gets bumming rights first!"

Weiss: "Shush! It's starting!"

The screen shows the Valean Council chambers... And several politicians are fighting furiously.

Weiss: "... I... Wha...?"

Pyrrha: "Is it the wrong channel?"

Oobleck: 'It is not! This is a brawl that broke out over Bill 204.9, over tariffs and the trading Treaty with Menagerie! As you can see, Councilman Winchester is grappling with Councilman Uzi over work permit limits for foreign nationals-OH! A RIGHT HOOK! A LEFT HOOK! AND-CAN IT BE? WINCHESTER'S GOT HIM IN A HOLD AND-YES! PILEDRIVER! PILEDRIVVVER!"

Cardin: "GO DAD!"

Councilman Winchester piledrives Uzi right through a wooden table. Uzi then gets up when Winchester's back is turned, and tackles him from behind right through another desk.

Cardin: "Oh, what?! BOO!"

Oobleck: "Yes, the Party Whip had to get involved for that one!"

Weiss: *staring in horror* "This is Valean politics?!"

Jaune: "Well they outlawed actual weapons in chambers but yeah, pretty much."

Yang: *grins* "I have a new career goal."

 

[Guikoi]

Right. I watched some shorts on youtube and decided to write this.

All credit goes to Jaden Williams whose shorts I stole to make this.

Here's a playlist of the the shorts I used: Why, John?

I call this: "Oscar Ruins Jaune's Life"

---

Jaune Arc stepped into the home he and his friends were currently sharing in Mistral.

As he wandered past the bathroom he stopped. He could see Oscar kneeling in front of the toilet. At first Jaune thought the boy was sick, but he looked fine. He was just flushing the toilet.

Stepping into the doorframe, Jaune spoke up. "Hey, Oscar. What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Jaune." Oscar shook his head. "Your goldfish died. I forgot to feed him, and I had to flush him." The farm boy explained apologetically.

Jaune exhaled and shook his head. "I don't have a goldfish. I have a dog."

Oscar stares at the older boy.

Jaune's smile falls from his face. His eyes go to the toilet and he sees… a blue collar sitting on the seat.

Jaune looks at Oscar in disbelief, his expression begging for Oscar to say he's joking. But the younger boy simply lets a few tears from his eyes.

"Oscar, where's my dog?" Oscar closes his eyes and looks away, as the older boy he sees as a brother gets emotional. "Oscar, there's no way…"

"I-I'm so sorry."

Jaune recoils, looking down the halls and exhaling sharply. He tries to keep himself together.

"I… I'm so sorry…!" Oscar cries out.

"Jasper!?" Jaune calls out down the hall before he rounds on Oscar. "Where's my dog, Oscar!?"

"I don't know what I was thinking…!" Oscar admits, tears pouring out. "I thought he was a goldfish."

"How, Oscar!? How does someone mix that up?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Jaune lets his tears flow, his head resting against the doorframe. "Where's my dog…?" He cries out quietly, hoping it's all a bad dream.

"I didn't- Oh Gods!" Oscar accidentally knocks the collar into the toilet, and he starts trying to grab it out.

---

"Oh, hey Oscar. What's up?" Jaune asks the younger boy. It's been… a tough few weeks since they lost Jasper. But the group was tough and could handle it.

Oscar looks back and waves to Jaune. "Hey. I let your turtle go for a swim out back in the salt water canal."

Jaune chuckles. "Oh, because he's not a sea turtle?" He asks, not seeing Oscar shoot him a look. "Wuh oh, better go get him!" Jaune plays along.

Jaune soon stops laughing when he sees the emotionless and empty expression Oscar had on.

"It's a joke, right? You're joking."

Oscar closes his eyes, accepting his fate.

"Because he's a freshwater turtle that can't swim in a salt water canal, right Oscar?" Jaune pushes, breaking Oscar's mask and seeing his start to cry. "That's the joke, right!?"

Oscar tries to hold back, but he sees the necklace that Jaune was wearing, with a little wooden turtle on it. "Oh, Gods."

"Oscar, where's my turtle?"

"I'm so sorry-"

"Oscar, he lived in a water tank that was crystal-clear, how could you-"

Oscar sobbed loudly. "I though he wanted to go for a swim."

"What does that even mean?" Jaune growled. "He's a turtle, he swims, he lives in a water tank."

Oscar wiped away his tears. "Then why'd he want out of the water, huh?"

Jaune glanced out the window and gestured towards it. "The canal!?" Oscar refused to look Jaune in the eyes. "Oscar, please don't tell me you forced him into the water."

Slowly Oscar raised his arm, his hand holding nothing, and he dropped his hand.

Jaune's eyes went wide and he almost stumbled backwards. "...Oscar?" Oscar finally looked at the Arc again. "What was that?"

"Oh Gods forgive me, please." He wailed.

"Oscar, you did not throw him further after he fought for his life, right!?" Jaune's voice promised pain.

"I'm so sorry-"

---

"Hey, Oscar. What are you up to?" Jaune Arc asks as he finds Oscar vacuuming.

After the incidents with the dog and the turtle… It's been hard on the Arc. But luckily for him, his friends got together and got Jaune another pet. At this point, after losing Pyrrha, getting Weiss stabbed and almost losing her, and all around being useless compared to his friends… Jaune Arc really needed a pet to keep him sane.

Oscar reaches up and turns off the vacuum. "Oh. I'm just vacuuming out the hamster's cage after you took him out."

Jaune smiles, glad that Oscar has found something to distract himself. "I didn't take him out." Someone else must have done it.

Oscar turns to the Arc, fear in his eyes. "What?"

The Arc shrugged, a good natured grin ln his face. "I was actually coming here to say 'good morning' to him. Where'd you put him?" The blonde teen looks around the room for some smaller cage or something that could hold a hamster.

Then his gaze met Oscar's, and his good mood fell away instantly. Oscar grits his teeth and furrows his brow, trying to not cry. Jaune sighed. "Oscar, where's my hamster?"

"I'm so sorry."

Jaune stomped into the room. "There's no way, Oscar." He angrily stabbed a finger at the younger boy.

"Oh Gods, what have I done?" The Pine looks down at the hamster pen in front of him.

"OSCAR!"

Oscar startles and cries. "I thought you took him out. I did, I swear."

Jaune's hands are trembling and he wipes away sweat, his eyes becoming bloodshot. "How could you have not seen him in the cage!?"

Oscar glances down at the pen. "You know what, honestly, I didn't check." Oscar Pine admits freely, nodding his head. He realized he fucked up. Jaune sobbed. "And to level with you, I should've. I'm sorry."

"Oh Gods!" Jaune cries out in emotional pain.

"Please forgive me!" Oscar reaches out and turns the vacuum back on. "Here, I'll keep cleaning!"

"No, stop!"

---

Jaune saw Oacar sat on the couch reading from his Scroll. "Hey man, what are you up to?"

Oscar glanced up at him then pointed to an empty birdcage. "Oh yeah, I saw your bird looking kind of lonely so I let him out of his cage so he could play with the cat."

Jaune's smile became wooden. "What."

Oscar nodded. "Yeah, your cat was wanting to play with him, so I let him play."

Jaune put a hand up and swallowed a lump in his throat. "Oscar, what did the cat do that made you think he wanted to play with the bird?"

Oscar scoffed. "He was scratching at the cage and I-" Oscar's smile fell away as he came to a horrible realization.

Jaune shut his eyes, hoping that he'll open them and everything will be fine.

"Oh Gods, I'm so sorry." Oscar apologized as he teared up.

"Oscar, why would a bird want to play with a cat or vice-versa!?"

Oscar shook his head and shrugged as he cried. "I don't know, I just thought-"

"Have you ever watched TV? They- They teach you this- like, when you're- when you're a child!"

Oscar dropped his head into his hands. "Oh Gods, I'm so sorry. Gods, please forgive me."

Jaune gestured roughly in the direction of the empty cage. "Where's my bird, Oscar!?"

Oscar Pine looked down at the floor and wailed louder. "Oh, Gods!"

Jaune followed the boy's gaze and saw a pile of bloodied feathers on the floor. He rounded on Oscar fast enough that anyone without aura would have whiplash. "You need to stay away from my animals, Oscar."

Oscar agreed. "And you know what, I think I forgot the feed the cat as well so it probably led to like… I'm so sorry."

"Oscar, you're psychotic! It's like you do it on purpose." Jaune accused the young boy.

"I'm so sorry!"

---

Oscar watched the man who'd become like a father/brother figure to him over these months walk into the kitchen. They'd since left Mistral and have stopped in Argus to figure out how to get into Atlas. While here, Jaune's sister Saphron and her wife Terra, have let them stay on her house.

"Hey Oscar. What've you been up to?" Jaune asked the boy, a wide smile on his face. It's been a while since Oscar's seen that.

But after Saphron heard about Jaune's suffering she went out and got him a dog. And the Arc scion has been completely smitten with the dog. Oscar and everyone else have hardly seen him without the dog since he got him.

Oscar grinned. "You're going to love what I did to make your dog take his medicine."

Arc chuckled. "What's that?"

"Okay, so I grabbed one of these brownies, right?" Oscar explained as he picked up one of the treats that Saphron and Terra had made the night before. "And I put the medicine, the tablet, inside the chocolate, and I-"

"Those are chocolate, aren't they?" Jaune pointed to the sweets that Jaune hasn't tried yet.

Oscar took a bite of his brownie. "Yeah and so I put the chocolate next to his dog dish-"

Jaune interrupted Oscar with a wide smile. "You totally get that you're not supposed to feed chocolate to dogs, right?"

Oscar tilted his head, an unspoken question in his expression.

Jaune's breath caught in his throat. "B-Because feeding chocolate to a dog would be the most idiotic, abusive thing you can do to one."

Oscar felt sweat fall down his face. "Chocolate is poisonous to dogs?"

Jaune's face started to go red, and his veins visibly bulged. But still he attempted, and partly failed, to remain calm. "Yeah and I know you understand that because only a moron would not get that. Right, Oscar?"

Oscar's brows furrowed and he sobbed.

"Oscar."

"I'm so sorry."

"Oscar, where's the brownie- Where's my dog?" Jaune gripped the kitchen countertop hard enough to pulverize it.

"I didn't know any better!" Oscar said, telling the truth. Ozpin wouldn't tell him, no matter how many times he asked.

"Oscar, children know not to feed chocolate to dogs!"

"Oh Gods, I'm so sorry!" Oscar lifted his brownie to take a bite and comfort eat.

Jaune lost his temper and slapped the 14 year old boy and knocked him to the floor. "I don't want an apology! I WANT MY DOG!"

Oscar pulled himself onto his knees. "I thought he would like it! Please forgive me!"

Jaune reached over to one of the windowsills and picked up two photos. He angrily held them out to Oscar. The two photos were of his old dog, the one Oscar flushed down the toilet, and now the one Oscar poisoned. "This is the second dog you've killed, Oscar!"

"Oh Gods!"

"You look at them!" Jaune roared loud enough to wake the neighbourhood, tears falling from his eyes and spittle flying from his mouth.

"I am!" Oscar wailed back. "I'm sorry! I just wanted to make you proud!"

---

After stealing an airship they had managed to get to Atlas and warn General Ironwood about the coming threat. Ruby had attempted to lie and obscure the fact that Salem was immortal, but… But after all the shit Jaune's been through, he really didn't think lying was right. It would be hypocritical.

So he revealed the truth. General Ironwood took it to heart and started formulating a plan to deal with Salem without trying to kill her. It should be possible to incapacitate her. Use the Relic of Creation to send her somewhere else? Somewhere far from Remnant?

Still, that was General Ironwood and Dr Polendina's job to figure out.

Jaune Arc watched his friend Oscar Pines walk into the dormroom that James Ironwood was kind enough to let team JNPR stay in. Across the hall from the one team RWBY was staying in, of course.

For some reason Oscar had on a beanie, a mask and sunglasses. Oscar was used to a more temperate environment, so it made sense he wanted to be warm. He also had a large and heavy bag slung over his shoulder. "Oscar, welcome home. Where have you been?" Jaune questioned.

"Oh, I went to the bank to get the lien I owed you for getting me that new gun." Oscar shrugged. He pulled down the mask and took off his sunglasses.

"I thought you said you didn't have the lien?" Jaune quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, I don't." Oscar admitted before lifting up the bag. "But I politely asked them to put some money in the bag." Jaune glanced down at the bag. "They were more than willing to. Very reasonable people." Oscar smiled, innocence in his eyes.

Jaune lifted his hand and pointed at the bag. "You asked a bank clerk to put lien that isn't yours into that bag while wearing a beanie, a mask and sunglasses?"

Oscar glanced up at the ceiling before nodding, a happy grin on his face. "Yes."

"Completely… Hiding your identity…" Jaune pointed out, sweat pouring down his face.

"Yes, well when you put it like-" Oscar dropped the bag and gasped. His hands clutched his head and his expression twisted into one of horror.

Jaune closed his eyes and sighed.

Oscar stared at the ground. "Oh man."

"Oscar…"

"Oh Gods, what have I done?" Oscar burst into tears.

"There's no-" Jaune very quickly stopped that sentence. "This is just a prank, this is just a prank, right Oscar?"

Oscar stared at the Arc male in silence.

"RIGHT!?" Jaune shouted. "Oscar, are- are there any details you left out?"

Jaune looked over Oscar for something, anything… and saw his own Scroll sticking out of a pocket on Oscar's jacket. Oscar scrambled to push it further in and hide it, but it was too late. "Oscar, you did not use my Scroll-" Red and blue lights started shining through the window, followed closely by police sirens. "Oh my Gods… Oh my Gods!"

"Oh my-" Oscar shuddered in fear. "I really messed up this time, didn't I?"

"Oscar, you need to- I- I can't take the fall for this." Jaune shook his head, gesticulating wildly. "How much lien did you take?"

Oscar sobbed. "I never told them to stop…"

Jaune barked out a laugh, his mouth twitching into an open-mouthed smile as the sheer absurdity of the situation sunk in. "I'm living with a psychopath!"

"Oh Gods, please help me!"

The Arc heir refused. "I can't help you out of this one when YOU ROBBED A BANK!!!"

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!"

---

After the whole bank robbery got calmed down after Jaune and Oscar had a long, long chat with General Ironwood…

Things got better. A lot better. It's been a couple months with no incidents. Jaune was starting to relax, and to help him, the rebuilt Penny Polendina had gotten Jaune a tank of fish. She got them for him to care for, to help him relax and take his mind off all the horrible shit they'd been through.

Jaune opened the door to the apartment he and the rest of team JNPR (now officially including Oscar Pines) had gotten, seeing as they were official Huntsmen and Huntresses now. Jaune yawned loudly, having done plenty of work around Mantle that day. Having to fight off a dozen thirsty MILFs was more daunting than any Grimm fight he'd been in.

Jaune sniffed the air. "Is someone cooking?" He wandered over to the kitchen to see his buddy Oscar with a pan on the stove. "Hey, Oscar." He greeted him before glancing at what was in the pan. "Oh, are you cooking fish sticks?" Jaune opened the fridge to get himself something.

"Hey." Oscar returned his greeting. "I wanted to make a nice home cooked meal for us." Jaune nodded, having given Oscar some cooking lessons a couple weeks before.

Jaune looked down into the fridge and furrowed his brow.

"It wasn't easy prepping these. I'm glad you recommended them, though." Oscar chatted as Jaune stared into the fridge. "It just doesn't seem like you to…"

Oscar trailed off as Jaune picked up a box and stared at it in confusion. It was an unopened box of fish sticks. "The fish sticks aren't even open…" Jaune turned to his pal for answers.

Oscar glanced back at the pan. "Fish sticks?"

"What- What did you use? What's in there?" Jaune noted that Oscar looked shocked and afraid. His pal opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Jaune's heart thumped loudly in his chest as adrenaline began getting pumped through his system. "Oscar?"

"I thought you meant…" Oscar turned away from the stove and looked into the living room.

Jaune shook his head, hoping to the Brother Gods and all other Gods that might exist that Oscar didn't… But in the living room, all Arc could see was an empty fish tank.

He started hyperventilating. The fish that Penny… That his new girlfriend had bought him…!?

"I didn't know." Oscar pleaded. "I didn't know!" Jaune ignored him and wandered over to the empty tank. "Oh Gods…" Arc stared into the motionless water, his head too full of thoughts to actually think anything. "I didn't- I didn't know! I swear, I didn't know!"

Jaune worked his jaw, grinding his teeth as he glanced around the room. Still, Oscar begged: "I- We- We can recover from this. We can recover from this."

Jaune turned to glare at Oscar. "Oscar, where are my fish? Where are the fish Penny gave me?"

"I can- I can buy you new ones. I didn't know-"

"Didn't know what, OSCAR!? That you don't cook your partner's pet FISH!?" Jaune Arc screamed, causing a car alarm to go off across the street.

Oscar nodded, tears pouring onto the floor. "In retrospect, I should have thought about that." The young boy admitted. "I thought you said to-"

"Why on Remnant would I recommend cooking the fish that I TAKE CARE OF!?" Yet another car alarm was set off as June screamed and roared.

"Oh Gods, please forgive me…" Oscar begged as he lifted up the succulent meat he had cooked and took a bite.

"ARE YOU EATING THEM!?"

"I'M SORRY, I'M NERVOUS-"

 

[SharkCultist]

....what if Jaune got all star Superman'd?


*Jaune in the infirmary oddly talking to goodwitch and not the nurse*

Goodwitch: Mr.Arc I'm not sure how to approach this subject...

Jaune: what my semblance? What's so hard about super strength.

Goodwitch: That is the problem Mr.Arc. that ISN'T your semblance.

Jaune: huh?

Goodwitch: Mr.Arc you unlocked this super strength during a mission as soon as your aura came back after being broken and as your teammate out it in her report "being beaten like a redheaded stepchild"?

Jaune: thanks Nora, anyway yeah. So?

Goodwitch: Mr Arc when you joined beacon academy we gained access to your medical records so we know about your prior health issues...

Jaune: but I'm better now!

Goodwitch: sometimes when someone with a formerly weak or sickly body has their aura broken then suffers a severe beating directly after it can cause a sort of....shock. to the soul. You remember that weakness and completely reject any chance of ever returning to it. So your aura compensates and strengthens you more than usual.

Jaune: that doesn't exactly sound like a bad thing...

Goodwitch: the problem is your strength is going to grow faster than your durability or ability to heal, and with your reserves it will happen quite rapidly.

Jaune: so can't we just break my aura or something?

Goodwitch: I'm afraid that even if we did the effect would just reassert itself the next time it reactivates. I'm sorry Mr.Arc. you are dying.

Jaune: ....How long?

Goodwitch: at best? Maybe til the end of the year.

Jaune: I think I'd like to go back to my room miss goodwitch.

Goodwitch: of course Mr.Arc....and I'm sorry.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Pyrrha lined up Milo with the targets downrange. As had been drilled into her from a young age, she checked her safety, focused down the sites, let out a breath, and-

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Six rounds went right through the center of the target, a holographic Grimm Beowulf. Each trajectory was lit up in red, making the Beowulf look like it had been pierced by six red arrows. She smiled softly and nodded mentally.

All on target, all perfect.

She glanced over at Jaune in the lane next to hers. He held his revolver with practiced ease, with both hands around the grip, the thumbs locked together. His blue eyes locked onto his holographic Grimm, and he pulled the trigger.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Pyrrha's smile grew a bit as she tracked the trajectories of the rounds.

"That's very good, Jaune," Pyrrha complimented him. Jaune smiled and shrugged.

"Shucks Miss Nikos. Ain't nothing but a lot of practice," he said modestly.

"I am a bit curious," Pyrrha said, "In combat you usually shoot one handed. And then only with one gun."

Jaune spun his revolver around on his finger, before he unlocked the cylinder and swiftly reloaded.

"How Mister Duke taught me," he explained, "One handed at close range? I've got enough precision to handle that. Longer range, I'll use my rifle or one gun with both hands. And in a big melee where a hit is guaranteed? Both guns akimbo."

He locked on with his revolver, and fired six more rounds. Again, his aim was unerring. Almost as good as hers.

"Ain't no reason to waste ammo unless you're right in the thick of it," he explained.

"Is that why your melee skills are a bit, um... Below average?" Pyrrha asked delicately. Jaune winced, and slowly nodded.

"Yes Miss Nikos. Truth be told, I'm not much with my sword," he admitted, "It's embarrassing, but I've mostly used it to clear brush. Usually we shot down any threats before they get that close, since most of the hands didn't have Aura unlocked."

Pyrrha slowly nodded, as Jaune fired off another volley of rounds with pinpoint accuracy.

"Being a Hunter can often require melee combat," Pyrrha said gently, "Would you like me to train you?"

Jaune looked back at his partner and smiled broadly.

"R-Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Well, you are my partner," Pyrrha said with a gentle smile, "Shouldn't I help you where you're lacking?"

"Er, well, I-I'd appreciate that," Jaune said earnestly, "But um... I ain't sure what you'd be getting out of it, Miss Nikos. I mean I'm-"

"My partner and team leader," Pyrrha said firmly, reaching out to rest her hand on his shoulder. She fought a blush. "You... You bring me a lot more than you think, Jaune."

Jaune slowly nodded.

"If you think I'm worth the trouble, then, yes, thank you Miss Nikos," he said gratefully.

"My pleasure," Pyrrha said with a warm smile.

Inwardly, she pumped her fists.

Yes!

Now... For the next part of her plan!

- - -

She brought Jaune out to a nice grassy clearing overlooking the valley of the Emerald Forest. She shifted Milo into sword mode, and waited for Jaune to draw Crocea Mors.

"The basics of swordplay are fairly simple," Pyrrha began her lecture, as the birds sang overhead and wildflowers waved in the light breeze, "Footwork is paramount. You get the most out of your sword by knowing just how much strength to put into movement, and you control that with every aspect of your body. Your wrists, hips, and legs help here the most."

Jaune nodded, his face completely serious. Pyrrha held up Milo in her usual stance.

"Try to copy my stance," Pyrrha ordered. Jaune nodded, and did so. Pyrrha then walked over and behind him. She scrutinized his form... Very, very carefully.

"Miss Nikos?" Jaune asked, "Something wrong?"

"Ah? Oh! N-Nothing!" Pyrrha said quickly. "Um... Well..."

She reached out and pressed on his hips with her hands. Her face burned bright red.

"You'll want to, um... Be looser here," she murmured.

"S-Sure, Miss Nikos," Jaune confirmed. She let her hands linger for a moment.

"Um, Miss Nikos?"

"O-OH! Y-Yes!" Pyrrha laughed nervously. "S-Sorry! Okay... Shoulders... Arms... Your grip..."

Her hands drifted over his upper body and she tried as hard as possible to stay professional. She was being his mentor! She shouldn't-Shouldn't be crass and perverted!

She pulled away, bright red, and cleared her throat.

"Um, th-that's good!" She said quickly.

"Er, um, y-yes Miss," Jaune confirmed.

Pyrrha composed herself, as she had for a thousand photoshoots. She walked in front of Jaune and resumed her own combat stance.

"All right. I want you to watch my movements, and then copy."

She went through a simple combo, thrust, thrust, feint, and then low slash. She watched Jaune go through the movements, and nodded.

"Good. Now, you do it against me and I'll show you how to defend."

Jaune nodded, resumed his stance. Pyrrha assumed her own.

"Go!"

Jaune struck through the combo. Pyrrha parried the first two hits, moved in response to the feint, then deflected the slash at her legs and carried through to put the tip of Milo right at Jaune's throat. He gulped, and nodded with new respect in his eyes.

"W-Wow... That's mighty impressive, Miss Nikos."

"Oh, um, just lots of practice," Pyrrha said with a blush. Sincere praise like that was rare. She smiled warmly.

"Let's continue!"

They went back and forth, slowly on some movements that Jaune struggled with, and faster on those he picked up almost immediately.

After about two hours, she decided they would call it quits. Jaune shook his head, panting for breath.

"I can go further-"

"Yes, you can" Pyrrha agreed. "But we're not stamina training, we're training technique. That requires more frequent breaks."

Jaune slowly nodded. He pulled out his canteen from his belt, and took a long drink. Pyrrha herself walked to a log and procured her own water bottle, which she drank from.

"So, how am I doing?" Jaune asked, after he'd quenched his thist. Pyrrha lowered her water bottle with a smile.

"Good," she said, "And I don't mean that just to be polite. You're not very refined, but I think you could go very far with a sword!"

Jaune nodded with a smile.

"Well... Thank you kindly, Miss Nikos," he said, "I mean... My Pa uses a sword. My grandpa, my great-grandpa and great-grandma, all used swords. It's nice to know I could do well with them, too."

Pyrrha nodded with a concerned smile.

"Why didn't you train with your father in swords?" She asked. Jaune sighed.

"I... I mean..." He shrugged. "Guess I just wanted to blaze my own trail, ya know?"

"Is that why you became a cowboy?" Pyrrha further probed. Honestly, she was incredibly curious about Jaune. He only volunteered a little of his past, mostly what he'd done on cattle drives. Much of his life before then? He glossed over.

"Partially," Jaune admitted, "My ma and pa... Well... They worry, ya know? I was... Most of my childhood, I wasn't in the best of health."

At Pyrrha's look of intense concern, he smiled and waved a hand.

"I'm fine now. Just... When your ma is a doctor, and you've spent a lot of time in a hospital bed or your room, well... She tends to be overprotective. My pa followed her lead, even though he was fine with me bein' a Hunter or anything else. But ya know... You can't really fight what was wrong with me with a sword."

"Oh, Jaune," Pyrrha murmured softly. She walked up to him and put a comforting hand on his forearm. He smiled gently back.

"Mister Duke and Pa managed to convince Ma to let me go. To let me try my hand at something hard. I came to like it. Enough that I even considered doing it as my career."

"But...?" Pyrrha prompted.

Jaune shrugged, and smiled shyly.

"Mister Duke said no man should give up on his dreams. Not without a fight for them, anyway."

Pyrrha smiled, and nodded slowly.

"I see... I-I'm glad you decided to fight for them."

"Me too, Miss Nikos," Jaune said.

Pyrrha sighed.

"You don't have to call me that. Really," she stated. Jaune blinked.

"Does it annoy you?"

"I mean... W-We're friends, right?" Pyrrha asked.

"Sorry," Jaune said, "Just... You're a bit hard to read, Miss Nik-Er, Pyrrha."

Pyrrha blinked rapidly.

"I-I am?"

"Yes miss," Jaune confirmed with a nod, "Sometimes I ain't sure if you're being honest, or if you're just bein' polite. I mean, you've fought alongside me so I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt in most things, but uh... You can be a bit perplexing."

He flushed.

"I mean, most girls are, which is fine! If you wanna be! Just..." He shrugged, and pulled his hat brim down, "I uh... It's a little hard on me, miss. No disrespect meant."

"I... I see," Pyrrha murmured. Hiding her emotions had just become second nature to her. In public, with her mother, with her agent... She had come to Beacon because she wanted to be herself. Yet... She was still locked into this... This form.

"In... In that case, Jaune," Pyrrha stuttered, "Um... I don't like it when you call me Miss Nikos. It uh... It..."

Jaune stared into her eyes.

"Annoys you, miss?"

Pyrrha nodded.

"It does... It... It really makes me unhappy. I just... I want to be Pyrrha to you. That's... That's all. I-I want to be your Pyrrha."

Her cheeks again went bright red, and she looked down at her hands.

Oh no that's too much! Too forward! I-I can't just... No! Calm down, Pyrrha! Calm down! You need to-!

She felt him take hold of her chin. He lifted her eyes to his. In the late afternoon sun with the shadow cast by his hat, he looked so... Dashing.

"My Pyrrha then," he said with a smile, "That's what you'll be to me. Always."

Pyrrha turned bright red, trembled... And then fainted dead away with a smile on her face.

"AH! PYRRHA! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?! PYRRHA?!"

And a panicking Jaune left to hold her in her arms.

- - -

 

[Fusion Blaster]

Here I give you a contribution to Cowboy Jaune that wouldn't let me go till I got it down.


Ruby Rose was going to make up for the way this saturday was going.

She planned this picnic as a team bonding exercise and her team all bailed to run into town for SHOPPING.

Not even fun Dust or weapon shops. CLOTHES shopping.

Well waist not and all all. She was gonna share her picnic basket of sandwiches and goodies with Jaune and Orleans. They would appreciate it.

She was dressed out of he usual. Not even her signature red hood. Everything but her one sundress Yang made her buy. It wasn't the worst thing in the world but the white dress with a few roses in outline on it wasn't her favorite thing to walk around in.

She crossed the quad towards the stable where she knew Jaune was with his horse when she paused for a moment. Had Dove just walked into a tree?

"HOWDY JAUNE! Hello Orleans who's the best horse in the world?" Ruby smiled brightly at the steed "Yes you are." Orleans preened at her comment as if to say but of course.

Jaune continuted brushing Orleans not turing around "Howdy Miss Rose. What brings you by?"

"Well the girls all bailed on me but I have this picnic lunch made so do you want to share with me?"

At the mention of food Jaune began to turn around but Orleans started acting fussy and the cowhand kept his focus on her "It sound good but Orleans seems to be feeling moody today."

"Well i got some treats her her too. I have some fresh carrots and apples and some mixed berries." Orleans settled instantly and looked at her dead on as if to say your offering has pleased us. She took the offered treats greedily but gently as Jaune finished brushing her down and he finally turned to directly look at Ruby Rose.

"Thanks for the hellllllp" Jaune stood there for a moment stunned by the sight of the red reaper in a simple sundress and not even carrying her weapon for once just a basket in her hands. In the silence Ruby figitted and brushed some stray hair behind her ear.

Jaune shook his head "Wow. Uh. I hope you didn't get all gussied up for me."

"What this? No, uhhh actualy it's all I had that was... clean. I really need to hit the laundromat tomorrow. I just wanted to share a lunch with the someone and not let it go to waste and everyone ran off."

"Well you look real good Miss Rose. I mean not that you don't normally just not like this. I mean thats not to say you look bad normally just..."

Ruby blinked then blushed " Uh , um, you think I look good, huh?"

Jaune blushed himself "Well yes, NEVER THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T just this look. suits ya, ifin ya get my meaning."

Ruby smile brightened an already bright day "So shall we?

Jaune returned the smile "Yes ma'am, I reckon that sounds might fine right now."

The two walked from to the stable to a near by tree ,the same Dove walked into incidently, spread the blanket and had a simple meal of sandwiches with a some canned drinks and bags of chips.

The two sat contentedly and with some varior small talk and jokes enjoyed thier meal and companionship.

Soon thier meal was done but the two having nothing better to do sat agasint the tree looking at the horizon pointing out shapes inthe clouds side by side but soon Ruby yawned

Jaune "You wanna head back to common room Miss Rose?"

Ruby leaned against his shoulder yawning again "Not really. Too nice out to nap indoors. Perfect day to nap under a tree."

Jaune yawned himself "Well you defiantly ain't wrong about that." Seeing his companion already dozed off he decided to join her and tipped his hat to cover his eyes and joined in napping bliss.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Jaune wasn't a total barbarian. He did play video games, though not very seriously. Even so, he did have fun with them, and playing against Ruby was a great way to spend his free time... Even if she did kick his butt almost constantly.

Almost...

"Ha! Nngh! Grr...!" Jaune grinned as he mastered a combo and put Ruby's character down. "YEAH! KO!"

"Woah!" Ruby laughed, sitting back on the couch cushions. "Great going! You're actually remembering the combinations!"

Jaune smiled and nodded as his character in the fighting game posed for the victory cutscene. He reached his arms up over his head to stretch.

"Yep... I got mighty dexterous fingers," he said, holding up his hand and waving his fingers around.

"Guess you'd kind of have to with your revolvers and all," Ruby giggled.

A weight pressed against his back. Familiar arms wrapped around his chest from behind. A familiar voice whispered in his ear.

"Good to know your fingers are very agile and dexterous," Yang purred.

"ACK!" Jaune, red faced, gasped. Ruby scowled, pouting at her big sister.

"Yaaang!" Ruby groaned. "Stop messing with Jaune already! We're playing a video game!"

"Aw, I can't watch?" Yang pouted. She grinned at Ruby as she continued to hug on Jaune. "Who doesn't want to see a man show off his fingering skills?"

"NNGH!" Jaune's eyes crossed. Ruby grabbed onto Yang's shoulder and tugged hard.

"Nnngh! Yaaaang! Cut it out!"

Jaune's heart pounded in his ears. His hands twitched and shook.

Oh geez oh geez...!

No... No... Focus... Focus...! I am a man, and I'll solve this like a man!

Jaune took a very deep breath. He then slowly stood up from the couch, and closed his eyes.

"Miss Rose... Ruby... You mind giving us some privacy for a moment?" Jaune asked in a quiet, calm voice.

Yang blinked, a frown coming over her pretty face. Ruby blinked rapidly in confusion, and worried her lower lip.

"Are you sure Jaune-?"

"It's not a big deal. Won't take long," Jaune said, still in that calm, even voice as he stared away from them both. "We'll keep playing after, promise."

Ruby and Yang exchanged glances, but the sisters could not reach consensus. Nevertheless, Ruby nodded and smiled nervously as she walked to the RWBY dormroom. She opened the door and closed it shut behind her.

"So, wanted me all to yourself, huh Stud?" Yang teased, grinning a bit. Jaune slowly turned around, and pulled his hat on. It shadowed his eyes and his face. He walked around the couch, slow, sure, and confident. He walked up to Yang, who blinked in some shock at the determined look on his face.

"Miss Yang," Jaune began slowly, "You have been flirtin' and teasin' me near incessantly since we became friends."

He advanced on her, and Yang found herself walking backwards a step or two.

"Uh... Um... W-Well..."

She grinned with her usual bluster, getting right back on her game.

"There a problem with that, Stud? You don't like the attention...?"

She felt her shoulders hit the wall, and she jumped. She jumped again as Jaune slammed a hand right next to her head, his gaze never leaving her eyes. She shivered a bit at the intensity he was giving off. For the first time in a while, she didn't know what Jaune was going to do.

"That's the problem, Miss Yang," Jaune husked, "I do like the attention. But you don't seem to understand. The nature of men is predatory. We're like wolves, Miss Yang."

Yang's cheeks turned bright red, and she felt her own heart pound.

"O-Oh?"

"We gotta keep ourselves chained up and collared or else we'll just go wild and take what we want. Devour our prey," Jaune continued, his voice getting deeper. Yang could see the sweat on his brow as it dripped down his neck.

"And right now," Jaune stated, hard and serious, "You are makin' it mighty hard to keep that wolf chained up."

Yang licked her lips, and stared defiantly back at him.

"And what if I want that beast to come after me?" She asked in a heated whisper.

Jaune took a deep breath. She watched his chest expand behind his T-shirt, and traced the muscles with her eyes.

"What if I want to make that beast break free... And make me his prey~?"

She slowly reached out to rest a hand on his chest, and felt his warmth. She smirked up at him as he sucked in a breath through his nostrils like an incensed tiger. She loved it.

"What if I want you to just... Gobble me up~?"

Jaune opened his mouth... Before the door slammed open behind them. Jaune immediately yanked his hand away from the wall next to Yang's head, and Yang's own hands went together behind her back.

"Is everything all right in here?" Ruby asked with a suspicious expression on her face.

"Just fine!" Jaune said quickly.

"Oh yes," Yang giggled, "We just had some things to... Straighten out. Isn't that right, Jaune~?" She shot him a wink.

"Yes..." Jaune stated blandly, fighting another blush.

"So... Did you?" Ruby asked.

"Did we what?" Both blonds asked at the same time. Ruby sighed.

"Did you straighten those things out?"

"That remains to be seen," Jaune grunted, walking back to the couch to sit down again. He took up his controller... And blinked a bit as Yang sat next to him with a soft smile.

"But I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually," Yang said softly.

"I... I reckon we will," Jaune muttered. Ruby scowled a bit at how the two were sitting, and scooted herself up against Jaune.

"Pay attention to the game!" Ruby barked, "I'm gonna cream you!"

"Yes Miss Ruby," Jaune said, before shooting a glare at Yang. "Not one word."

"Wouldn't dream of it~," Yang chuckled softly.

- - -

 

[The Sleepless One]

Cowboys of Remnant: Jaune and Ruby Make a Baby

Weiss was certain that Ruby would forgive her for eavesdropping. After all, a good teammate should check in on their leader's status frequently, especially around ruggedly handsome blonds with strong hands and kind eyes and- Weiss stifled that line of thought with prejudice.

Besides, it's not as though no one else snooped. Those other snoopers snooped all the time, and had been snooping well before she arrived on the scene! She was, of course, referring to Pyrrha and Yang, currently crouched gauchely outside the forge booked by Jaune and Ruby. Weiss, like a woman of wealth and taste, had instead planted a discreet bug inside the room well before anyone else got there. She herself waited down the hall and around the corner, just in case she heard something that would require her to intervene.

Like whatever she was hearing right now.

"It's too big, Jaune! It won't fit!"

"We just need a little lube and it'll slide in just fine."

"It's not meant to open like that! You're gonna break it! Try a lower angle, that should give it more room- ah! Not that low! Careful!"

Jaune's grunt echoed from the speaker.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just a bit awkward, but it should fit once we find the right- ahh! See? Like butter," he replied.

"Oh wow, that's really snug."

"Yeah, gonna need to ream it out to make sure it fits better, I reckon."

Weiss couldn't believe what she was hearing. To think that sweet, innocent Ruby was engaging in such... depravity. It filled her with envy lust shock. Yes, definitely shock and nothing else. Enough was enough! She had to stop this!

The Heiress turned the corner, striding forward confidently. She paid no heed to the two degenerates at the door, sweeping past them and slamming the heavy metal door open.

"Stop your depravity this instant!" She cried.

The scene that met her was, in many ways, the polar opposite of what she had expected. Rather than a state of undress, Jaune and Ruby were instead clad head to toe in protective gear, obscuring their forms behind heavy aprons, gloves, and goggles. Between them, placed on a cooling stand, was Crocea Mors, fresh from the forge.

"Uh, hi Weiss," Ruby said, her voice muffled through the respirator covering her face. "I know I get a little too into my work sometimes but you don't need to call it depraved, you know. That's just hurtful."

"Miss Schnee." Jaune chimed in, voice filled with reproach. "If we hadn't already finished our work, you could have cause quite the accident. Forges are dangerous."

"You- But- What?"

Pyrrha cleared her throat, poking her head around the edge of the doorjamb. "It seems to me that Weiss believed the two of you were engaging in some sort of illicit activity." The redhead gave Weiss a pointed look. "And then took it upon herself to intervene."

"Not cool, Weiss." Yang added, leaning into view.

Weiss's face rapidly reddened with fury. "Well, I at least I wasn't crouching outside the door trying to eavesdrop like a voyeur! Have you two no shame!?"

Pyrrha blushed and stammered, "I-I was merely looking out for my partner!"

Yang, without a hint of shame, concurred. "And I was keeping an eye on my sister!"

"And I was doing the same for my partner and team leader!" Weiss retorted.

"And I don't need my sister and partner watching over me all the time!" Ruby interjected, anger seeping into her voice as she pulled her face protection off. "Seriously! We were just making a baby!"

There was silence as everyone turned to stare at her. A moment later, Ruby realized what she'd said and squeaked, attemping to, poorly, cover her hands with her recently removed mask.

Yang's grin could only be described as shit-eating. "Damn Cowboy, didn't think you had it in you to get my sis-" Her teasing was cut of as Pyrrha pulled her into a chokehold and dragged her around the corner. Judging from the look on the myrmidon's face, it would be a poor decision to interfere.

"What Ms. Rose meant," Jaune interrupted desperately. "Is that we were givin' Crocea Mors an overhaul! Nothin' untoward! Please, I really hope y'all wouldn't think of me as the kind of person who would take advantage of a friend like that..."

The Schnee Heiress's face fell as shame overwhelmed her. Jaune had been nothing but polite and kind to her and her new friends and she'd accused him of fooling around with her team leader. In retrospect, the conversation she'd overheard would have applied just as well to two individuals in the midst of precision weaponeering.

Weiss bowed. "Jaune, Ruby, I apologize. I shouldn't have jumped to such unseemly conclusions. Please forgive me."

"I- well," the Cowboy stuttered. "It's al-alright Miss Schnee. I know you were just lookin' out for us."

"Yeah!" Ruby agreed with cheer, her earlier ire and embarrassment all but forgotten. "It's nice to know that my bestie cares!"

The Heiress's eyelid twitched, but she took a deep breath and let it go, before searching for a way to change the subject. Her eyes alighted upon the cooling form of Crocea Mors and she had her out. "So, what exactly did you do to Jaune's sword?"

The little red reaper was suddenly vibrating with excitement. "Oh oh oh! It's the coolest thing! Jaune, can I show her? Please? Pretty please?"

Jaune chuckled, "Of course, Miss Rose. You did most of the work, after all."

"Yay!" Ruby cheered and seized Crocea Mors from the cooling stand. "Jaune wouldn't let me include all the upgrades I wanted to-"

"I much prefer simplicity, Miss Rose."

The redhead snorted, "You're just boring. At least the shifting mechanism is pretty neat." She lifted the blade up and gave it a few experimental swings, showing off the changes.

Initially a fairly straightforward hand-and-a-half sword, Crocea Mors had undergone some extensive changes to its form. The blade itself was split down the middle, giving it a prong shape, to accommodate the barrel of the lever action rifle that had been integrated with the body of the sword. The receiver of the gun was built-into the hilt of the blade, although the trigger and cocking lever weren't exactly positioned for easy usage. Weiss's unasked question was answered as Ruby engaged the mechashift, rotating the prongs of the blade ninety degrees while retracting them, flipping the crossguard upwards, and sliding the trigger and lever into place in her hand. It now more closely resembled a rifle with longsword components attached although Weiss could see that it could still be used as a melee weapon, albeit one more similar to a cleaver. With another twist of Ruby's hand, the blade reverted back to its split longsword configuration.

"Pretty neat, huh?" Ruby said with a grin.

"I suppose," Weiss answered hesitantly. "It's certainly a rather straight-forward solution. Why the sudden need for a change though, Jaune?"

"Well, Miss Schnee," Jaune replied, in the process of taking his protective gear off. "Crocea Mors just wasn't cuttin' it no more." He paused, a sheepish expression crossing his face. "No pun intended."

Weiss's eyelid twitched again.

"You've seen that I much prefer to keep my distance when I fight," Jaune continued, unmindful of the white-haired girl's ire. "Course, plenty of my opponents, Grimm or not, prefer to get all up close an' personal. I was having trouble swappin' between my guns and my blade in a timely fashion, so I figured it was time to adapt. And, well, Ruby had been beggin' me to let her help with forgin' a new weapon so I decided to kill two Nevermores with one bullet."

"Yeah!" Ruby cheered. "And Crocea Mors was waaay overdue for an upgrade! Don't get me wrong, it's a great weapon but it's old. The spine was just about ready to go and the tang was already cracked!"

"The grip was makin' a weird rattlin' noise," Jaune murmured.

"Yep!" Ruby continued. "So, we melted the old girl down, I put together a gun in the style Jaune's used to, and then put them together! I wanted to add some stuff to the shield too, maybe some Dust circuits or a hardlight projector, but that kept getting shot down." The young weaponeer pouted.

The Cowboy sighed in a long-suffering manner that Weiss had become intimately familiar with herself, "Miss Rose, please, I want to keep things as simple as can be."

"But you could have used it to glide or shoot Dust blasts!"

The flat look Jaune shot Ruby dissuaded any further whining.

"I still modified the shield so the rifle can be fired while the sword is sheathed," the redhead added. "That was a little challenging, keeping the folding mechanism intact, but it works like a dream!" She picked up the scabbard from a nearby workbench and sheathed the blade before handing them both to Jaune. "Here's your new baby!"

The blond flushed. "M-miss Rose, please don't say it like that."

Ruby's face soon matched her friend's, "Sorry! It-it's a habit! I just really care about my bab- my creations! Yeah, my creations! They're special to me!"

Weiss decided to be magnanimous and rescue her partner from her embarrassment via a distraction. "It seems to me that you'll need to test the modifications out, Jaune."

"I reckon so, Miss Schnee." Jaune murmured absently, checking his weapon over.

"Would you care to join me for a spar?"

The Cowboy looked up, mild surprise writ across his face before giving her a wide grin. "I'd be honored, Miss Schnee."

Weiss returned the smile and very pointedly ignored the venomous look Ruby was shooting her over Jaune's shoulder.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Pyrrha and Jaune had returned to the dormroom after enough training session on the roof. Jaune groaned a bit as Pyrrha helped support him through the door into the dorm.

"Thanks Pyrrha," Jaune managed, "Ugh... I feel like I got hit by a truck."

Pyrrha blushed then smiled.

"Um, sorry..."

"No! No, that's good," Jaune said with a nod, "No pain... Ugh... No gain, r-right?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that's entirely untrue," Pyrrha said gently, "Though you have been getting a lot better."

"Yay," Jaune sighed. Pyrrha smiled encouragingly at him.

"No, really! You have improved a LOT!" She said happily. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

"Trying, but it's how I've been since I can remember," Jaune sighed. They stopped in front of Jaune's bed. Pyrrha frowned deeply, studying the bed carefully. Jaune looked at her, and then back at the bed.

"Uh... You okay Pyr?" He asked. Pyrrha flushed and nodded quickly.

"O-Oh! Yes! J-Just fine! Um... Hmm..."

Jaune cast about in his mind for things that might bother Pyrrha.

His bed was spic and span, he made it properly every morning... That couldn't be it... So...

He decided to take a shot in the dark.

"Is it about the Dance?" Jaune asked. Pyrrha turned bright red.

"Um, er, uh... S-Sort of?" She managed. Jaune blinked.

Damn. She looked cute when she was nervous. It was nice to see, to be honest. Sure, she was gorgeous, but this felt more... Real, somehow.

"Well, don't worry about it," Jaune said with a grin, "You'll gonna have to beat the boys off with Milo! So many of them are going to want to ask you out!"

Pyrrha fidgeted and looked aside.

"Oh... Um... Y-Yeah, you bet," she murmured quietly.

Jaune frowned.

"What, you think otherwise?"

"It's just... Um... Well, the big reason is that uh... I-I mean... I think I intimidate a lot of people," she admitted.

Jaune stared.

"Really? I..." He thought about it. "Oh... Um, I guess that makes sense. You being a celebrity and all."

"Y-yeah," Pyrrha said quietly, "You... You're one of the few people I've met who can actually... Y-You know... Talk to me like I'm a person."

Jaune smiled widely.

"Well, you are. To me. A great person!"

Pyrrha's cheeks burned an even brighter red. She seemed a bit unsteady. Concerned, Jaune forgot about his fatigue and reached out to her.

"Pyr? You okay-?"

"EEP!"

Pyrrha tried to move her foot forward, while Jaune moved his back. She grabbed hold of his hand and he was pulled forward as he remembered how tired he was. The end result of this lack of coordination was predictable if you've ever watched romcom anime.

"ACK!"

"EEEP!"

Jaune landed on his bed, on his back. The pain of his aching muscles was again forgotten as Pyrrha laid on top of him. Her wide green eyes stared into his wide blue ones as she perched atop him.

Her face soon turned as red as her hair, and her lip wobbled. Jaune took a deep breath to calm himself.

After all, this was his friend Pyrrha. They'd just fallen together. Nevermind his rapidly beating heart or his red cheeks, he was not going to freak out. Not when Pyrrha looked close to tears.

"Pyrrha, are you okay?" He asked.

Pyrrha sobbed, and fell off the bed onto the floor. Bewildered and terrified, Jaune knelt down with her.

"Pyrrha? Pyrrha, what is it?! Are you all right?!"

"Oh noooo... I'm... I'm..." She sobbed. "I'M A SLUT!"

Jaune blinked. Of all the things he had ever expected Pyrrha Nikos to say, that was... That wasn't in the top one hundred things he'd anticipate. Hell, it wasn't in the top thousand. It may as well not even be on the list!

"H-Huh?" Jaune managed, his jaw dropped. Pyrrha sniffled, and wiped her eyes. She looked up at him pleadingly.

"This... This isn't how I wanted it to go... B-But... You're a good man, Jaune. I-I know you are! You... You'd forgive the mother of your child for being... Being loose, r-right?!"

"My what?!" Jaune exclaimed, falling back in his crouch and slamming back into the bunk. Pyrrha continued to weep.

"I swear Jaune, I'll be the best wife you ever could ask for! I-I'll do anything you want! The-The most lewd, depraved things imaginable! I'll-I'll have twenty of your children if you wanted! I'll financially support us-!"

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!" Jaune cried, gettiing his rapidly stampeding thoughts all together into something approaching calm, before he grabbed her hands between his. He looked her in the eyes.

"Pyrrha?! What are you talking about?!" He demanded.

Pyrrha sniffled.

"I... I laid on a bed with a boy! That means... I'm pregnant now!"

Jaune blinked. He blinked again. He blinked a third time.

"I... Wha... You think... That's how it works?" He asked in utter disbelief.

Pyrrha sobbed again, and nodded.

"Isn't it?"

Jaune stared at her for a long time... Before he snickered.

"Hahaha! Oh, that's a great one, Pyr! I'm so glad you've loosened up enough to joke! Haaa... Wow, that is unconventional but... Y-yeah! You as a sheltered girl, not knowing... HAHAHAHA! Oh wow, you got me! That's hilarious!"

Pyrrha continued to sniffle, looking uncomprehendingly at Jaune. Jaune slowly stopped laughing.

"... You... You are joking... Right?"

Pyrrha huffed, and looked aside.

"I-I can't believe you're treating our child as a joking matter, Jaune!" Pyrrha sniffled again. "How could you?! What-What kind of a man are you? To-To just have a girl in your bed and then treat her like a joke!"

The door was opened. Ruby and Weiss entered, with Blake looking in curiously. Ruby looked concerned while Weiss frowned deeply.

"Is everything all right?" Ruby asked.

"What did you do, Arc?! You made Pyrrha cry!" Weiss growled.

Jaune opened his mouth but for once, Pyrrha interrupted him.

"I'm pregnant and he thinks it's a joke!"

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" Ruby and Weiss shrieked. Blake's jaw dropped as her hair bow perked right up.

Jaune slapped a hand over his face and sighed.

It's gonna be a long night...

- - -

Pyrrha Nikos was never taught about the birds and the bees thanks to her overprotective mother. Pyrrha had to piece things together, but between the cybernanny on her devices and how isolated she's been socially (as well as her private schooling), she has no idea about basic biology.

Poor Jaune.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake: "That's not the only method to make babies. Remember that time during Initiation when he caught you, Weiss?"

Weiss: "W-W-W-WHAT!?"

Blake: Smug "Congratulations."

Click to shrink...

Ruby: "W-WAIT! WE'VE SAT ON THE SAME BED BEFORE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES! OH NOOO...!"

Blake: "Oh yes. You've been very busy, haven't you Jaune?"

Jaune: "No, wait, that's not what-!"

Pyrrha: "YOU HUSSY!"

Ruby: "I-I"M NOT A HUSSY! Oh, Jaune, please! We're besties, r-right? You'd never abandon me in my time of need?"

Jaune: "Of course not but-!"

Weiss: "BACK OFF! CLEARLY I'M THE ONE HE'S GOING TO MARRY AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR! N-NOT YOU HARLOTS!"

Jaune: "Wait what?!"

Pyrrha: "YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM!"

Weiss: "WELL HE'S GONNA TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND I'M NOT SHARING!"

Ruby: "THAT'S NOT FAIR, WEISS! HE'S MY BEST FRIEND!"

Weiss: "Well he liked me first!"

Pyrrha: *bright red* "W-WELL I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM SINCE THE DAY WE MET! I-I'VE HAD TO HOLD MYSELF BACK BECAUSE I WAS SAVING MYSELF FOR MARRIAGE!"

Weiss: "HA! You're the one who unlocked his Aura! You're clearly just a slut!"

Pyrrha: "ME?! Y-You-You-You treat men like dirt and then treat them nice! You-You-WHORE!"

Weiss: "BITCH!"

Ruby: "TRAITOR! WE'RE PARTNERS!"

Weiss: "NOT WHEN IT COMES TO THIS!"

Jaune: "Nonono hold on! HOLD ON! Let's all calm down..." *He sits on the bed with a sigh... Notices someone is holding his hand and sitting next to him. He looks to his side* "... Blake?"

Weiss, Pyrrha and Ruby: "BLAKE?!"

Blake: faux blush, hands over her cheeks "Oh noooo. I'm pregnant toooo! You really are quite the playboy aren't you Jaune?"

Weiss: "YOU-YOU HORNY NO GOOD ALLEY CAT!"

Pyrrha: "HOW COULD YOU JAUNE?! ANOTHER?!"

Ruby: sobs "HE'S INSATIABLE!"

Jaune: "BLAKE!"

Blake: holding back her laughter with immense difficulty "Please be gentle~?"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune: "DAMNIT BLAKE THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Weiss: "NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FUNNY YOU TWO-TIMING BASTARD!"

Yang finally enters the room, attracted by all the commotion.

Yang: "What's not funny-?"

Jaune: "No wait-!"

Ruby: "YAAANG! I GOT PREGNANT THANKS TO JAUNE!"

Weiss: "HE GOT ME TOO!"

Pyrrha: "HE GOT ME FIRST!"

Weiss: "HA! Please... He lusted after me and wanted me more than you two! I-I'm clearly the one he wants the most! You were just side pieces!"

Ruby: "THAT'S NOT FAIR, WEISS! WE'RE BESTIES!"

Pyrrha: "EXCUSE YOU?!"

Weiss: "And Blake is-is just a wanton slut!"

Blake: "What? I'm perfectly happily marrying Jaune!"

Yang's hair blazes gold and her eyes burn red.

Yang: "... I'm sorry, Jaune, but I'm gonna have to kill you now."

Jaune: "I DIDN'T-!" sigh "I didn't... Okay. Let me explain before you kill me, please?"

Yang: "You have ten seconds."

Jaune: "They think sitting on a boy's bed with them makes babies. That's all I have done, nothing else."

Pyrrha: "BUT I WAS IN LOVE WITH JAUNE FROM THE MOMENT I MET HIM!"

Ruby: "NUH UH! I SAW HIM FIRST!"

Blake: "But I happen to be a princess so Jaune would be my King. That means I'm a better choice of wife than all of you."

Weiss, Pyrrha, and Ruby: "WHAT?!"

Blake: "Don't worry Jaune, I'll let you keep them as part of our Royal Harem... Though only I get to sleep in your bed full time."

Yang, who has been watching all of this while dumbstruck, finally snickers.

Yang: "... okay, that's frickin' hilarious."

Jaune: "NOT TO ME!"

Ruby: "THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS, YANG! YOU'RE GONNA BE AN AUNT! AND NO KILLING JAUNE! HE'S GONNA BE MY HUSBAND!" Hugs on him

Pyrrha: "Not if I break every bone in your body you won't."

Blake: "Oh my, that's a lot of aggression! I had no idea you could inspire such feelings in women, Jaune! I just might fall for you!"

Jaune: "BLAAAKE!"

Weiss: "YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! YANG! I'LL PAY YOU A MILLION LIEN TO PUT THESE-THESE HARLOTS IN THEIR PLACE!"

Pyrrha: "Money wasted. I'll just have to beat you all-"

Yang: "O-Okay, okay! Everyone let's calm down before this stops being funny!" sighs "Okay, Jaune? I... May have dropped the ball and not told Ruby about babies."

Jaune: "YA THINK?!"

Yang: "Okay fine, sorry for not being the best underaged surrogate mother!"

Jaune: "But... I just... Ruby I can kind of understand, but everyone else? How do you NOT know how babies are made?!"

Weiss: "OF COURSE I KNOW HOW THEY'RE MADE! You lay together in a bed or-or a man holds a woman in his arms and nine months later you get the baby from the stork! It's all very simple!"

Pyrrha: "Huh? I thought they came from gardens!"

Ruby: "Dad told me I was a blue light special from the store! The mommy and daddy start the baby and then they need to get the rest to assemble it properly!"

Yang: "... Okay this may be my bad."

Jaune: "Seriously?!"

Blake starts laughing her ass off, holding in her giggles with both hands over her mouth.

Yang, pinching the bridge of her nose: "... I'm probably going to regret this, but Ruby, Weiss, Pyrrha. You three come with me. Time for you to learn where babies really come from."

Blake somehow laughs even harder.

Yang: "I don't know why you're laughing, Blake. You're helping."

Jaune: sighs in relief

Yang: "And you are, too!"

Jaune: "Me?!"

Yang: "You're in this damn mess so yes, you're gonna help me! Besides, you're a farm boy! You know how this works!"

Jaune: "Ugggghhh... Fine..."

Blake: "W-With... Demonstrations? Snrk!"

Jaune: "I SWEAR TO GOD BLAKE!"

Blake: "Don't yell at me, I'm in a delicate condition~!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Two very awkward hours later...

Weiss: "And... And that's... What it's all for...?"

Yang: "Yup!"

Weiss: "Is... Is that... IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO WITH ME, JAUNE?!"

Jaune: "Um, I-I mean..." Looks at the ceiling "Only if you wanted to."

Weiss: bright red "R-Really? You... You don't want my money or-or status? Just... Me?"

Jaune: "I-I mean, more than just physically! But... Uh... Yeah? If-If we really fell in love and... Junk?"

Ruby: "What about me?!"

At Yang's glare

Jaune: "Ummmm... Only if you wanted to... And you were legal."

Ruby: bright red "R-Really?!"

Pyrrha: "You-You want to do that with me too, r-right Jaune?! Right?! Since... Since I do love you!"

Jaune: "Yes! If we went out on a date or-or something and we grew close enough and romance and-You get what I mean!"

Blake: "What about me, Jaune?"

Jaune: "LIKE HELL YOU TROLL!"

Blake: pouts "Awww... But you're so much fun~!"

Jaune: "YES YOU'RE ALL VERY ATTRACTIVE! But there's a-a lot of stuff between just-just dating and-and that!"

Ruby: "Buuut, being best friends means I'm closer to it than Weiss, Blake or Pyrrha, right?"

Weiss: "WHAT?! Like hell you are!"

Pyrrha: "You didn't even like him, Weiss! Besides, I'M HIS PARTNER!"

Weiss: "Yeah but now that I know he's not after me just for money but... You know... A family and love-"

Pyrrha: "FAMILY AND LOVE ARE THINGS I'VE WANTED MY ENTIRE LIFE! I WANT TO HAVE THAT WITH JAUNE RIGHT NOW!"

Jaune: "Only after dating for a really long time and if we were both fine with it-!"

Ruby: "And that means I'm still doing better than you all! HA!"

Yang: clenches her fist "Jaaauuunne...!"

In sheer desperation, Jaune gets up and takes Yang's fists in his hands.

Jaune: "I'd want to do that with you too, Yang! After dating and if we fell in love!"

Yang: Bright red "WH-WH-WHAT?!"

Weiss, Pyrrha, and Ruby: "WHAT?!"

Blake is laughing so hard she's not even trying to hold back, rolling on the floor while crying.

Jaune: "So now that that's all out there, I think my mom's calling me, this was great let's do it never again LATER!"

He turns and leaps out the nearest exit... Unfortunately...

Jaune: "SHIT IT WAS A WINDOOOOOW-!"

CRASH

Jaune: "... I'M OKAY!"

The five young ladies are left to bicker... Or in Blake's case, continue to laugh herself sick.

Jaune returns to his dorm, sighing. Nora and Ren are waiting and sitting together on Ren's bed.

Nora: beams "Jaune! Great news!"

Jaune: sighs "Yes?"

Nora: "Ren finally got me preggers!" Beams as she holds Ren's hand

Jaune stares.

Jaune: "... Not falling for it, Nora."

Nora: pouts "SHOOT! I always mess up the punchline!"

Ren: "I thought it was funny."

Jaune: "Were you just watching that whole catastrophe?!"

Nora: "Eeyup!"

Jaune: "And you didn't think to intervene once?!"

Ren: "It was like a ten car pile up, Jaune, involving clowns. Of course we weren't going to intervene."

Nora: "Yuh huh!"

Jaune sighs and collapses face first into his bed

Jaune: "I hate you both."

Nora: "We love you too, Jaune-Jaune~!"

Ren: "Next time we'll share our popcorn."

Jaune: "Wait, you had popcorn on hand to watch the whole thing with?! How-Why...?"

Nora opens her mouth.

Jaune: "Forget it! I don't want to know."

Ren: "A wise policy."

 

[SharkCultist]

A lot had changed in 40 years. It seems like such a understatement but it's one that Adrian cotta-arc couldn't help but muse on.

It had been 40 years exactly when teams RWBY and JN_R had left on a secret mission.

Nobody knows what they did but the Grimm population dropped considerably. Even now spawning for Grimm dropped from hundreds a year to barely one hundred per kingdom a year.

But not everything was happy. When team rwby came back they were a mess. Yang was missing a arm, Weiss had another scar going through her eye and this one actually did damage to the orb. Ruby had some nerve damage so her fine motor control was shot for a long time.

Still at least they came back. Even after promising to return there was no sign of Jaune Arc and his teammates.

So while the rest of the world cheered the Arc clan grieved.

And when Adrian announced his desire to become a huntsman they Raged.

Still he held strong and now sits as the headmaster of the rebuilt Beacon.

Which is currently seeing it's first crisis in a very long time.

Something is approaching the school. At first they thought it was a Grimm upon seeing the bits of bone.

But the Grimm do not wear clothing.

So Adrian stands at the gate with his sword (Arc cutter) in hand and gets his first look at the figure.

The first thing he sees are the wounds. It's missing a arm and there are holes punched through its armor. There's very little flesh on its bones and it's completely missing it's lower jaw. Though it's hard to make out because the figure seems to be cloaked in a strong aura that flickers and sputters like a dying white fire.

The second thing he notices are the coffins. Wrapped in chains so they can be dragged by the creature. They're obviously not professional made but they are sturdy. No cracks despite being dragged for a obviously very long time.

The last thing Adrian noticed is the sheath. A familiar white and gold with a equally familiar sword handle sticking out. Even covered in rust any Arc would recognize the blade.

Adrian was Furious. "How do you have that blade?!"

The creature stumbled forward before stopping just at the gates of beacon.

"Home."

Somehow it produced words. It's voice crackling like a bad video signal. But still recognizable.

"Uncle Jaune?"

Impossibly a long dead man stood before him.

"But how?"

The flickering aura began to fade and whatever power was holding the body together with it but still Jaune managed a answer.

"Promised."

And funnily enough that was enough of an answer for Adrian.

An Arc always keeps his word.

Jaune Arc brought his team home.

 

[The Sleepless One]

Inspired by Brooklyn 99.

---

Teams RWBY and JNPR pass Glynda in the hallway between classes.
Glynda: "Ah, Miss Xiao Long, I heard from Doctor Oobleck that you received top marks on your last history exam. Well done."
Yang: "Ha, thanks mom!"
There is silence as everyone stops to stare at Yang.
Yang: "... Why's everyone looking at me like that?"
Blake: "You just called the Professor 'mom.' You said 'thanks mom.'
Yang: "What!? No I didn't! I said 'thanks ma'am.'"
Glynda, blushing slightly: "Do you see me as a mother figure, Miss Xiao Long?"
Yang: "No! If anything, I see you as a smother figure because you're always killing the mood!"
Weiss: "Hey! Don't talk to your mother like that!"
Yang: "I didn't call her 'mom!'"
Glynda: "No no, Yang, I take it as a compliment."
Nora: "It's not a big deal. I called Ren 'dad' once and he's just my partner and best friend."
Yang: "Guys! Jump on that! Nora has psychosexual issues!"
Blake: "Old News. But you calling Professor Goodwitch 'mommy' on the other hand..."
Yang: "Hey, 'mommy' is not on the table!"
Jaune: "But you *did* call her 'mom.'"
Yang: "You shut up! You faked your transcripts to get in here! We shouldn't listen to a thing you say!"
Jaune: "Alright, I faked my transcripts, but the 'mom' thing? That happened.'"
Yang: "I will break your kneecaps, Vomit Boy."
Jaune: "Shutting up now."
Glynda: "I can see this upsets you."
Yang: "Yes!"
Glynda: "Would you like to talk about it? Perhaps while slaying Grimm in the Emerald Forest?"
Yang: "... I'd like that."
Ruby: "Can... Can I come too?"
Glynda, smiling warmly: "Of course you can, Ruby."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Here is a horrifying idea, AU to anything else:

The Curious Cat is a Body Snatcher entity in the Ever After, wanting to seize control of the body of a real person to go to the real world. It is capricious, cruel, malevolent, and likes to play games. And who is to say it can't just jump to another host when its current body dies?

What if Salem didn't pull back Ozma. What if she didn't pull back something that was even human. She pulled back something like the Cat. Hell, maybe she got the Cat itself but from a different temporal 'session'.

What if she got something that pretended to be Ozma, and played being a human and a loving husband and father like it was a game? Until it got bored. Then it changed things up to create an eternal war between humanity and the Grimm led by Salem! That was great fun and has been for centuries!

But he's gotta keep changing it up or things get stale. He'll be a warrior king for a while, then a wise old headmaster. He'll be goofy and silly and totally serious! His perspective on time isn't linear, after all.

And just for fun, sometimes he'll make things so dark and so dire that it'll take a miracle to save the world! A miracle he might be able to arrange!

Because after all, what's the fun if "Good" wins every time? He's gotta keep things interesting! And this session is a tad dark, what with two continents' worth of people dead or displaced, but hey. He was getting a bit bored.

This will keep things fresh.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Inspired by The 100 Girlfriends who Really, Really Love You, RWBY and JNR fails and the world is destroyed. Jaune is found by the Blacksmith in the Ever After. The Blacksmith says that the reason things failed is very simple.

Blacksmith: "Love. There wasn't enough love in the world."

Jaune: "What do you mean lack of love?!"

Blacksmith: "You, Jaune. As the Rusted Knight, you won the hearts of many women as they read your adventures. If you had returned those feelings to all of them... You would have been able to save everyone. Pyrrha included."

Jaune: "Then... Then this is all my fault-?!"

Blacksmith: "No, no... You have a chance, Jaune. If you return this love to the women in your life, whom you met along your journey... You will all have enough love to save the world. To prevent this end. And as the Rusted Knight? You can go back. You can change this... But only if you can accept you deserve to be loved in return."

Jaune: "That... That's not going to be easy."

Blacksmith: "No... But saving the world never is. It will be the hardest thing ever asked of you... But I would not send you back if I didn't believe you could do it. Will you?"

Jaune: "... Yes! So uh... How many women do I need to romance to save the world?"

Blacksmith: "Hmm... Potentially? A hundred."

Jaune: "A HUNDRED?!"

Blacksmith: "Maybe less? You'll see!"

So Jaune has to form a harem. He MUST, in order to save the world of Remnant WITH LOVE!

And despite the darker undertones... It would definitely become very comedic. The Blacksmith has a twisted sense of humor.

 

[SharkCultist]

(So this is a rework of a idea I had a very long time ago.)

Sometimes Oscar really hates magic. He's done good things with it like saving the life of Alice Arc.

And he's done terrible things with it like how he saved the life of Alice Arc.

And once more he's going to darken the doorstep of the Arc family and use their daughter.

Gods it's almost too much being here. Seeing the mix of gratitude and hate in the eyes of Ruby and Jaune. But he's not here for them.

"Hello Alice."

She's always been a small child, almost doll like. Large shining eyes of silver that pair well with her hair like spin strands of gold. As always she's wearing a blue and silver dress, like she's going to a party.

Alice never gets invited to parties.

"Hello Uncle, have you come for tea?"

He doesn't deserve to be called Uncle.

"I'm afraid my dear that I'm here to talk to the Other Alice today, but I suppose I can stay for tea after."

There's something in her eyes, a mixture of sadness and acceptance.

Nobody is ever here just to see Alice.

"Then you have to say the magic words uncle."

"Grimm times be up on us."

And suddenly everything is different. The room seems to transform cute toys now seem to stare sinisterly and shadows spring forth without a clear source. But the most extreme change is little Alice. Her fair hair fades until only the slightest hint of gold can be seen tinting the white. Beautiful silver fades to baleful crimson.

"My My a Visit? What prompted this? Or am I being let out for good behavior?"

God he hates this. Almost as much as he hates himself.

"Hello Salem."

She's bound like this. Infinitely weaker, infinitely safer. But still so dangerous.

With a wave of her hands tea begins to prepare itself and stuffed animals set the table.

"Go ahead and get to the point, I have eternity but that doesn't mean I like to waste it."

"Something is killing maidens and the magic isn't coming back. We suspect one of your special Grimm. Tell us and-

"And what? You'll free me? Please you've tied my soul too tightly to the girl to do that, more to the point my immortality is what's keeping her alive."

- and maybe we'll let you out more often."

Gods he doesn't even want to offer that, and he just knows he's going to get punched for it.

Good. He deserves it.

"My but you are crueler than Ozma aren't you? First you seal me away in your friends stillborn child and now you dangle a taste of freedom in front of me."

He was trying to help. He got rid of Salem, he saved Alice, he kept Jaune and Ruby from having to bury their child, nobody has to fear a sudden surge of Grimm coming out of nowhere.

So why does he feel like such a failure?

"Fine little wizard, I can tell you that I only ever made one Grimm specifically to target the maidens, the one in Cinder. Oh but you never did recover her body did you? Shame that."

Yet one more failure.

"Grimm times will pass."

"Yes I suppose they must."

And suddenly the world brightens. Shadows disappear and color returns to Alice.

"Is it time for tea uncle?"

"I suppose it is."

The talks with Salem are always hard but the hardest part is always the end.

After tea and cookies when little Alice is ready for her nap sometimes before she completely fades out she asks a question.

"Uncle am I the Dreamer or the Dream?"

Oscar doesn't know. And he hates himself even more for not having a answer.

 

[Eclipse Staro]

Jaune has seven sisters. They always giving him from simplest to complicated tasks and he doesn't says no because he loves his family. Turn out this tasks helps him learns a lot of skills.

Cooking - Saphron doesn't cook anything except spaghetti. (Do not ask her about The Omelet Incident.)
Acting - Tangerine (Tanya) actually have him play as a villain with her
Singing - He was banned from the local bar. He was too good.
Sewing - How much clothes can be teared apart with 7 sisters. A lot.
Sculpting - Lilac insist he make her some handmade wooden figure and then proceed to ice sculpting
Painting - He once made a bunny painting and his sister manage to sold it for 100 000 lien, claiming it was a painting of a rare rabbit.
Dancing - He was not banned but he got many offers
Negotiating - At some point, Jaune learns this on his own after dealing with seven sisters

Yeah, I don't quite remember the names of the sisters put here so if anyone could remind me what their names are that be great.

*The curtains close. The audience stands up, cheering...for the villain.*

Click to shrink...

Got and idea and this is a bit inspired. Rough ideas so not complete but i really like the idea of Jaune playing as a villain on a school play which become popular.

Jaune as an actor, playing as villain on a school play but nobody expect him to be so excellent at it.

Jaune: You are too late Heroes, the power of Darkness is mine.

Jaune: Oz promised you the power of Seasons, trained you to become Maidens but not even he can win against the Darkness.

*Jaune touch a purple orb and pretends to absorbs the power within it.*

Jaune: Hahahaha, YES! With this power, I shall be the New God of Remnant.

Audience Seats

Ironwood: I must say Oz that this is quite play. Focusing on the villain instead of the heroes, certainly a fresh change of pace.

Ozpin: *Eyes twitching.* Beacon is still an academy and we want our students to strive well in all aspects of studies.

Glynda: I never knew that Mr. Arc is so talented at acting.

Stage

*Ruby tried to attack Jaune with Crescent Rose but was stopped by Polarity from Pyrrha. The scythe was inches away from Jaune's head.*

Jaune: Crow taught you well. *Jaune put his palm on the scythe part of Crescent Rose.*

*Pyrrha use polarity to push back Ruby.*

Jaune: But he didn't teach you everything.

*Ruby pretends to be hurt, lays down on the floor.*

Audience Seats

Mercury: This Arc Kid isn't so bad.

Cinder: Please, my plan is a hundred times better than his. I'm eviler and he's just pretend at being evil.

Emerald: *Starts having doubts after seeing Jaune being villain.*

Stage

Weiss is fighting Jaune at the stage, sword clashing with sword.

Jaune: Your resistance is admirable.

Weiss: Shut up! What do you even know about me?!

Jaune: I know that you hate what the SDC stands for. I know that your father corrupted the ideals that your grandfather holds. You dream to change it but powerless to do so. They have power and you don't.

Weiss begins to falter.

Jaune: And yet, those powers they wield paled in the face of true power. Join me and you can turn your dream into reality.

Audience Seats

Winter: This play has certainly left an impression.

Crow: The noodle is stealing the show and may steal your sister too by the looks of it.

Winter: *Mutters* Not if I join him first.

Stage

Blake is fighting Jaune

Jaune: Blake Belladonna, you have my respect.

Blake: Why?

Jaune: You hate the racism, the discrimination that the Faunus faced. You sought equality, even tried diplomacy to achieve it but that method failed.

Blake: ...Yes.

Jaune: And so your people resorted to force. Stealing, fighting to survive.

Blake: *Fists clenching* Why are you telling me this?

Jaune: I don't blame them.

Blake: ...What?

Jaune: Humans are rebels at heart. Even knowing what is good for them, they still rebel for petty reasons. Despite Grimm being the common enemy and threat to the living, humans choose to cause conflict with other sapient races.

Blake begins to falter.

Jaune: Might makes right. Those with power can create change. Real change. Join me and you can help your people change things.

Audience Seats

Coco: Damn, Blonde Boy is absolutely killing it with the clothes.

Yatsuhashi: He certainly have.

Velvet: *Agreed with Coco but also wants to join Darkarc.*

Stage:

Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Pyrrha facing Jaune.

Ruby: Our bonds are stronger than you think.

Jaune: You are right, I don't have close bonds like yours.

Jaune: Do you know what I have?

Jaune: UNLIMITED POWER!!!

A shockwave released from where Jaune stands and Weiss, Blake and Pyrrha kneels while Ruby desperately trying to stand.

Jaune: Join me, let's create a united world where there shall be no more discrimination and no more disrespect.

The curtains closed, the audience rise up from their seats, claps and cheers... for the villain.

Opposite of cheery Jaune.

There shall be no pineapple, it is the Atlas Way.

Nora will not stop

Help him

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Cinder Fall was not prone to socializing a great deal. Her mission was to destroy all of Vale and these mewling brats were not really worth any more of her energy than necessary. That said, she did have to maintain her cover and Jaune Arc was friendly and stupid enough to interact with long enough to make her seem harmless. After all, if an idiot like him was at ease around her, she couldn't possibly be evil, right?



So when she saw him waiting outside the festival area proper all alone, she decided to interact a bit to reinforce her cover.



Cinder: "Hello Jaune."



Jaune: "Huh? Oh hey Cinder! It's nice to see you!" He smiles



Cinder: "Likewise. So, what are you doing here? Where's your team?"



Jaune: "Oh, they're just running a little late with RWBY. Something about a prank." He shrugged "But I'm also meeting my family here!"



Cinder: "Oh really?" A bunch of hick farmers no doubt...



Jaune: "Yup! My parents and my aunt and uncles! It's pretty rare for all of us to be in the same place at once, so it's great!"



Cinder: "I see... Well, I'll leave you to that-"



Father Alexander: "LADDIE!"



Jaune: grins "UNCLE ALEX!"



Cinder stares in utter disbelief as Father Alexander, one of the deadliest, most fearsome and PSYCHOTIC Paladins of the Church of the Broken Table's infamous Department XIII, pulls Jaune Arc into a tight hug with a happy laugh.



Alexander: "Hahaha! How are ye, laddie?"



Jaune: "Great, Uncle! How are you?"



Alexander: "Oh just fine, laddie! Took care of a little infestation out near Edge. Took care of the demons in the morning, and preached the rest of the day and night!"



Jaune: "Wow!"



Cinder: He calls clearing out two hundred Grimm Ursas and Beowulves a little infestation?!



Alexander: "Eh? Who's this lass?" Suspicious glare "Ye should cover up!"



Jaune: "Uncle! Come on! This is my friend Cinder Fall! She's from Haven!"



Cinder: "Yes, it's very nice to meet you, sir."



Alexander: glares "Hmph... Ye should have more practical clothing, lass! You young Huntresses thinkin' you just need to look good for the camera, invitin' lustful eyes..."



Jaune: "No no! She's not like that at all, Uncle! Really!"



Alexander: sighs "Ye got t' be careful, lad! No telling what's going on in some lass' heads over pure lads like you!"



Jaune: blush "UNCLE!"



Cinder: blush "I-I don't-I have no such intentions-Uh, maybe I should go-?"



Nanami: "Yo."



Jaune brightens as a tall, well built blond man in a smart tan business suit, blue undershirt, goggles, and leopard print tie walks up.



Jaune: "Uncle Nanami!"



The very stoic man smiles slightly and pats his nephew on the head.



Nanami: "It's good to see you well. You took my financial advice?"



Jaune: "Sure did! I've got plenty to finish Beacon and to upgrade my gear!"



Nanami: "Good. Keep an eye on those bonds, Vale's Council is bound to do something stupid again."



Alex: "Ha! All about numbers as usual, Nanami."



Nanami: adjusts his glasses "Shouldn't you appreciate them, Alex? Some think mathematics are the language of God."



Alex: "Yeah but yer focus has always been on the money side o' things."



Nanami: "You'll have to take that up with the Almighty, Alex. You any closer to talking to Him yet?"



Alex: "Closer than you!"



The brothers glare at eachother... Before Alex laughs and Nanami smirks a bit.



Alex: "Good to see ye."



Nanami: "Same."



Jaune: "Oh! Uncle Nanami, his is Cinder Fall, my friend!"



Nanami: nods "Good to meet you."



Cinder: "And-And you too... Um... I thought your last name was Kento?"



Nanami: shrugs "Kento was my mother's maiden name. I took it to draw less attention to my hometown."



Alex: "Ha! How much attention does a stockbroker get?"



Nanami: "More than I'd like."



Cinder's thoughts start to become frantic.



Cinder: Nanami the 7/3 Divider is this idiot's uncle?! One of the most infamous Grimm Hunters AND one of the best financial advisors in Atlas?!



He'd nearly made White Fang go bankrupt with his incredible power, tactics, and financial sense!



Nanami: "Anyway, where's Irina? She said she'd be here."



Alex: "You know her, always taking her time."



A beautiful blonde woman with large breasts and hips she somehow fit into a white business jacket and skirt strides up, smirking at them.



Irina: "Aw, why do my own brothers have to be so cold to me?"



Jaune: beams "Aunt Irina!"



Her cocky smirk becomes a warm, gentle smile for a moment as she accepts Jaune's hug. She then gets her cocky smirk back as she flicks Jaune's forehead.



Jaune: "Ow!"



Irina: "Heh. You're getting too tall for me to properly hug anymore!" She pouted "You should follow Tanya's example and stay short!"



Alex: "Best not tell her that, lass. Also, cover up damnit!"



Irina: snorts "We're not all prudes like you, Father Brother!"



Nanami: "It's more about how many men you attract, Irina."



Irina: smirks "And?"



Nanami: "We're trying to save them from you."



Irina: "I never heard any complaints~."



Alex: "'Cause ya killed them."



Irina: "Like I said, I never heard any complaints~."



Jaune: "Eh?"



Irina: laughs softly "Oh, we're just teasing, Jaune! You know me! I'm just a boring old teacher!"



Nanami: "With underaged students."



Irina: "I'm giving them something to look forward to!"



Irina locks her eyes on Cinder. She frowns.



Jaune: "Oh! This is Cinder Fall, my friend!"



Irina: "Oh? Nice to meet you. I'm Irina Arc."



Cinder: "N-Nice to meet you too..."



Irina's probing gaze seemed to go right through her. Which was understandable: Cinder had run into this woman before. She, Emerald and Mercury had barely escaped her... The White Bitch, one of the most infamous assassins in Remnant!



Mercury had wanted to do an assassination even she couldn't... Somehow managed to steal the kill... And the Bitch had nearly killed them all for it!



Irina: "You look rather familiar. Did we meet in Mistral, perhaps?"



Cinder: "M-Maybe! I'm from Haven, after all!"



Irina: "Hmmm..." Suspicious glare



Cinder: nervous smile



Sanji: "Hey. Hope I'm not too late!"



Cinder: Oh don't tell me...!



Jaune: "UNCLE SANJI!"



Jaune laughed and hugged a shorter, skinnier man in a black suit with a white undershirt and blue tie. His blonde hair covered one eye, while the other had a curly eyebrow over it. The man laughed and hugged his nephew while keeping a cigarette in his mouth.



Sanji: "Hey guys! Nanami, still a broody bastard?"



Nanami: "I don't know, still a man whore?"



Irina: smirks "Manwhore would imply he actually successfully made it with a woman once."



Alex: chuckles



Sanji: "Ugh, you gotta make me look bad in front of Jaune? You're worse than that damn swordsman!"



Alex: "Speaking of, where is yer crew anyway?"



Sanji: "Oh, they're coming for the Festival. They just gotta do it more carefully given we're, uh..."



Irina: deadpan "Pirates?"



Sanji: "Yeah! But the good kind!"



Nanami: sighs "If you get caught, make sure it's somewhere with no cameras?"



Sanji: "I'll do my best but you know Luffy. Not a subtle bone in his body." He looked over at Cinder "Oho? Who is this lovely mademoiselle~?"



Jaune: "Oh! This is Cinder Fall! She's-!"



Irina: deadpan "His friend, so knock it off."



Sanji: "Hey! I would never poach from family! Good on you, Jaune! I mean, you've got Pyrrha Nikos, that Yang girl, that Ruby girl-"



Jaune: "We're all friends! Friends!"



Sanji: smirks and winks "You got the good old Arc genes! You're gonna be a stud like me!"



Alexander: "Ha! Jaune's gonna be like his father, a good boy who marries a good woman and is fruitful and multiplies!"



Irina: "All things Sanji will never experience!"



Sanji: deadpan "Like you, huh?"



Irina: "I don't see the need to settle down right now! You're just terrible at attracting anyone!"



Sanji: "I am not!"



Irina: "Are too!"



The two growl at each other. Nanami sighs.



Nanami: "Sometimes I wonder how we survived childhood with them around."



Alexander: "Miracle of the Almighty, right there."



Cinder trembles. Jaune looks at her in concern.



Jaune: "You okay, Cinder?"



Cinder: "F-F-Fine! Fine!" BLACKLEG SANJI?! AND HE'S BRINGING THE REST OF THE STRAWHAT PIRATES WITH HIM?!



Sanji: "Oh! Hang on..." He prepares some tea and holds it out to her in a thermos "Ginseng infused tea. Calms the nerves."



Cinder gulps it down in desperation.



Irina: "Heh. Thirsty."



Nanami: "Basic joke."



Irina: "Like you?"



Cinder takes deep breaths as Jaune pats her on the shoulder.



Jaune: "You sure you're okay?"



Cinder: "Y-yes... Just fine... I-I'm just a little... Uh... Hot. It's so hot!"



Sanji: "May I provide an umbrella for the lady? Jaune asked me to bring one for his date."



Jaune: "No I didn't-" Sanji elbows him "Urk! I-I mean, sure!"



Cinder: Okay... Okay... So the idiot is related to some of the most dangerous people on the face of the planet! That's fine... That's fine...! So they're all coming for the festival! Big deal! I have an army of White Fang terrorists, Grimm, and that Grimm Dragon too! I bet the rest of his family is normal and not at all-



Isabel: "JAUNE!"



Jaune: gasps "Mom?!"



Isabel Arc storms up and hugs Jaune tightly, leaving a dust trail behind her from her haste.



Isabel: "Oh I'm so sorry, dear! I'm so sorry... I should have listened... My darling boy...!"



Nick: "HAHAHAHA! Let the boy down, Isabel! He's turning blue!"



Isabel sets him down, and flushes. She adjusts her glasses as Nick walks up alongside her. He smiles and pats Jaune on the shoulder.



Nick: "It's good to see you well, son."



Jaune: "Thanks Dad... Mom... I... I know you disapprove, but... But I have to follow my dreams."



Sanji: nods "A man has to follow his dreams."



Irina: "Or woman. It's just not something you can refuse."



Nanami: tiniest of smiles "Even if he goes off the path, he will find his way back."



Alexander: "Aye, if his faith and will are strong enough."



Isabel: sighs "I... I'm struggling with this, Jaune, but... I'll try to trust you. And believe in you."



Jaune: "Thanks Mom..."



Nick: "Ha! I knew you could do it the whole time, son."



Jaune: "Thanks Dad... Oh! This is Cinder Fall-"



Irina, Sanji, Nanami and Alexander: "His friend."



Isabel stares intensely at Cinder.



Isabel: "Oh?"



Cinder: "Y-y-yes... his friend..."



Cinder's self control is close to cracking.



Cinder: HIS MOTHER IS THE STRONGEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD?! AND HIS FATHER IS THE DRAGONSLAYER?! THE ONLY ONES TO HAVE KILLED A GRIMM DRAGON IN A CENTURY?!



Cinder: "In-In fact! We're the best of friends!"



Jaune: "Huh?"



Cinder grabs his hand and smiles as she trembles.



Cinder: "We're so close I-I'm totally his girlfriend! We're madly in love with eachother!"



Jaune: "Eh?!"



As Jaune's friends finally catch up... Cinder loses control completely.



Cinder: "HE JUST PROPOSED AND NOW I'M HIS FIANCE!"



Jaune: "EHHHHHH?!"



Weiss: "WHAT?!"



Yang: "WHAT?!"



Ruby: "WHAAAA?"



Blake: "Huh?!"



Nora: "WOW!"



Ren: "What."



Pyrrha: "What."



- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

So... How does Cinder resolve this little SNAFU?



Cinder: "So... Mother... Um... We may have a slight issue with the Vytal Operation."



Salem: "What kind of issue, Cinder?"



Cinder: "Um... We may need more Grimm."



Salem: "You already have a quarter of the Grimm in Vale concentrating around the city along with all the White Fang forces that can be found, PLUS the entire Atlasian ground army and their fleet thanks to the computer virus! What could possibly warrant the need for MORE forces?"



Cinder: "Um... The entire Arc clan?"



Salem: "... What."



Cinder: "Um... It turns out a high percentage of their family will be attending the festival... Like... All of them."



Salem: "... From Radian?"



Cinder: "Y-yes, Mother. I know it's a bit ridiculous-"



Salem: "No, no! You were wise to call me. Arcs. UGH! I have tried to wipe their insipid bloodline off the face of Remnant for a thousand years! They're like damnable cockroaches... If cockroaches could get last minute power ups from the power of friendship or love or something else completely ridiculous."



Cinder: "How ridiculous?"



Salem: "Their matriarch, Joan D'Arc, went from some bumbling hick who hallucinated that the gods were talking to her to a fearsome warrior with the charisma to gather an army and the power to crush the mightiest servant I had EVER CREATED in a YEAR. The Witch Queen of Argus was a Maiden! And I juiced her up as much as I could with arcane magic and the earliest forms of Grimm 'Biotech'! She was a sorcerer in her own right! AND THAT DAMNABLE HILLBILLY STILL DEFEATED HER!"



Cinder: gulps, though still shoots a smug look at the now very pale Mercury



Salem: "The entire history of the Arcs is filled with insanity like that! I've done my level best to keep Ozpin from formally allying with them every chance I got! And I tried to exterminate them a dozen times! But there was always at least one survivor who decided to have DOZENS of children and a generation later I was right back where I'd started!"



Cinder: "So um... What do we do?"



Salem: "I gave up on genociding them all at once long ago, just not worth it! No... Instead? I made sure they ran into a love interest or five, someone got pregnant, and they settled down. I mean, can you imagine how horrific it would have been if ISABEL ARC had become a Maiden? She literally threw a city bus into Ozpin's office while drunk! She'd have crushed you three like bugs if she was the Maiden, put you back together, and then crushed you some more while laughing!"



Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury shiver.



Salem: "Fortunately she ran into some hillbilly with a heart of gold raised on the edge of civilization by a hermit. I barely had to do anything and poof! Babies! Problem solved!"



Cinder: "So... Our plan is...?"



Salem: "Get that idiot Arc kid laid! Make sure he impregnates someone! Hell, make sure he impregnates ALL his love interests! The harem ending Arcs generally didn't cause as much trouble as the monogamous ones! By the way Mercury, are you a girl?"



Mercury: very quickly "No!"



Salem: "Shame, that would make things easier. All right! Cinder, Emerald, and the quiet one! Your mission is to make sure the Arcs are too busy with grandchildren to bother with the festival!"



Cinder: "All three of us?!"



Salem: "Are you questioning my plans?"



Cinder: "N-No Mother! Not at all! Just... Um... Why can't we make sure just RWBY and that Nikos girl are knocked up? Isn't that enough?"



Salem: "No Cinder, we need to make absolutely sure! Besides, he's an Arc. He's like a dumb puppy with the stamina of a bull dragon. You'll be fine!"



Cinder: "That's not really my issue-"



Salem: "Oh hey, who has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap about your issues?" Points at herself "This woman. Now get on it! Mercury, you go along too in case he's bisexual. It can happen sometimes..."



The call ends.



Mercury: "... Is it too late to defect?"



Cinder: "YES!"



Mercury: "Damnit..."