hkim
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And here I thought Dark Supergirl was the one wanting to be Hoover Girl.
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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
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- self insert young justice
And here I thought Dark Supergirl was the one wanting to be Hoover Girl.
Future Tense (part 18)
Mr Zoat
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13th September 2012
09:50 GMT -5
"That's The Sensational Sucker to you!"
How.. to describe.. what we're looking at?
Imagine a vacuum cleaner. Not an old bag-based vacuum cleaner or a modern Dyson. No, imagine a Henry; the red and black ones with the smiley face on it. Imagine that it was lilac and grey rather than red and black. Now imagine that rather than having a hose coming out of the nose it instead has two hoses, each coming out of one of the shoulders. The hoses appear to be able to move on their own recognisance but don't appear to have a significant amount of strength behind them.
Now add a skirt, because this is a child-friendly technological abomination.
Thank you H-Dial.
Kara is clearly as puzzled as I am, but at least this new stimulus has her attention.
"Does it come with instructions?"
"Ah… No, actually."
Dana rolls back on her wheels a metre, then stops. Then she trundles forward at the same low speed.
"Okay, I think I've got it."
I use the opportunity to quash the fires Noriel generated when she ignited the packaging material. Kara doesn't appear to feel threatened, and since I've got the kryptonite she should start recovering. The more she's delayed, the better.
"We do need this place cleaned up a little. I mean, you definitely can't hurt me with those things."
"Okay, let me-."
WWWWWRRRRHHHHHHH!
The vacuum hoses spring to life, writhing around and drawing all of the loose material in the room towards them.
Oh gods I can already see where this is going. The Dial must have some sort of twisted artificial intelligence.
Kara looks around as the hot debris is drawn into the hoses. I'd guess it's all ending up in the Sensational Sucker's storage vessel, but I suppose that it might equally just be being annihilated.
"Yes, good. Can you suck bigger objects too?"
"Let's find out, bitch."
The Sensational Sucker raises her suckers and points them at Kara. The only result I can see is that Kara's hair is now blowing towards the nozzles, and she raises her left arm to keep it out of her face.
"Yes. Terrifying. I was wondering how hard it would be to rip my way out of your dust compartment, but it looks like you can't even manage that much. Hey, Paul, what happens if someone using the Hero Dial is killed while they're transformed?"
"Not going to try a HORROR transformation?"
"Not for our first time."
"There is no record of anyone being killed while using the Hero Dial."
"Then it looks like Dana gets to contribute to the cause of science. Don't worry: I'll make sure you're fully credited."
Dana thrusts her hoses at Kara as she drifts closer, forcing her to wrap her hair around her left hand with an eye roll. Much like normal vacuums, when the end of the nozzle makes contact with skin it forms a seal, causing the skin to bow outwards slightly.
"Hey, that ticklehey!"
Kara starts to lunge, then falls to the ground as the coins are sucked out of her.
"OOgh!"
I immediately wrap her in construct chains and haul her out of the way-
"Ugh. Hah!"
-before adding a straitjacket -.
"Kinky."
Underwear and a straitjacket.
Kara pulls against them for a moment, then relaxes. "What now, lover boy?"
"That depends on whether you overdosed on black kryptonite or not. If not -and that's what I'm hoping- then you'll turn back into a moderately traumatised Kara Zor-El. I will describe your behaviour in detail after I have destroyed all of the black kryptonite on Earth."
"And if I have overdosed?"
"Then we'll have to try something radical." I scan her, getting a picture of her brain and monitoring it to see how the patterns of activation deviate from her baselines. "Well done, Dana."
"Ah…"
"Yes, what-?"
A now enlarged suction hose is pointing at my face.
"Dana."
"Yeah, see, now I feel bad about this? But I work for the Legion of Super-Heroes, and… You're… Kind of accused of breaking the law."
"Do you have a lawful warrant for this state?"
"Not in… This century?"
"You said Earth was part of the Thanagarian Empire. Are you a law enforcement officer in the Thanagarian Empire?"
"No, but the human species is part of the United Planets. It's covered by the fact that our historical origins-."
"Do the Thanagarians agree with that interpretation?"
"No, but they don't-."
Behind her, Noriel presses the 'deactivate' button on the Hero Dial. Another puff of smoke and Dana reappears in her human form, a neat pile of debris-
I grab the coins from the top of the pile with a construct claw and affix them to my undersuit.
-made from all of the material she sucked up materialising next to her.
"Thank you, Noriel. Dana Dearden, you are under arrest for police impersonation, specifics to-"
"He-y!"
"-be determined once I find out how that works in this state."
"I wasn't impersonating a police officer!"
"You falsely claimed to have the authority to arrest me and I need something to put on the form when I send you to gaol. It will most likely not go to trial, but I really want to put this whole Legion mess to bed."
"Paul?" New Kara descends into the underground level, looking around as she tries to spot me. "Something happened with-. What happened to you? Why is Other Kara tied up like that?"
"Sometimes adults-."
I gag Old Kara.
"Had a bit of an accident with some kryptonite. Nothing to worry about, but-."
There's a blast of air and she's gone.
"But you-."
She reappears, a crate of glowing rocks in each hand!
She sees my expression and shakes her head.
"Don't worry! Kryptonite doesn't work on kryptonians from parallel universes! I'll go and throw this into the sun right away!"
Another blast of air and she's gone.
09:50 GMT -5
"That's The Sensational Sucker to you!"
How.. to describe.. what we're looking at?
Imagine a vacuum cleaner. Not an old bag-based vacuum cleaner or a modern Dyson. No, imagine a Henry; the red and black ones with the smiley face on it. Imagine that it was lilac and grey rather than red and black. Now imagine that rather than having a hose coming out of the nose it instead has two hoses, each coming out of one of the shoulders. The hoses appear to be able to move on their own recognisance but don't appear to have a significant amount of strength behind them.
Now add a skirt, because this is a child-friendly technological abomination.
Thank you H-Dial.
Kara is clearly as puzzled as I am, but at least this new stimulus has her attention.
"Does it come with instructions?"
"Ah… No, actually."
Dana rolls back on her wheels a metre, then stops. Then she trundles forward at the same low speed.
"Okay, I think I've got it."
I use the opportunity to quash the fires Noriel generated when she ignited the packaging material. Kara doesn't appear to feel threatened, and since I've got the kryptonite she should start recovering. The more she's delayed, the better.
"We do need this place cleaned up a little. I mean, you definitely can't hurt me with those things."
"Okay, let me-."
WWWWWRRRRHHHHHHH!
The vacuum hoses spring to life, writhing around and drawing all of the loose material in the room towards them.
Oh gods I can already see where this is going. The Dial must have some sort of twisted artificial intelligence.
Kara looks around as the hot debris is drawn into the hoses. I'd guess it's all ending up in the Sensational Sucker's storage vessel, but I suppose that it might equally just be being annihilated.
"Yes, good. Can you suck bigger objects too?"
"Let's find out, bitch."
The Sensational Sucker raises her suckers and points them at Kara. The only result I can see is that Kara's hair is now blowing towards the nozzles, and she raises her left arm to keep it out of her face.
"Yes. Terrifying. I was wondering how hard it would be to rip my way out of your dust compartment, but it looks like you can't even manage that much. Hey, Paul, what happens if someone using the Hero Dial is killed while they're transformed?"
"Not going to try a HORROR transformation?"
"Not for our first time."
"There is no record of anyone being killed while using the Hero Dial."
"Then it looks like Dana gets to contribute to the cause of science. Don't worry: I'll make sure you're fully credited."
Dana thrusts her hoses at Kara as she drifts closer, forcing her to wrap her hair around her left hand with an eye roll. Much like normal vacuums, when the end of the nozzle makes contact with skin it forms a seal, causing the skin to bow outwards slightly.
"Hey, that ticklehey!"
Kara starts to lunge, then falls to the ground as the coins are sucked out of her.
"OOgh!"
I immediately wrap her in construct chains and haul her out of the way-
"Ugh. Hah!"
-before adding a straitjacket -.
"Kinky."
Underwear and a straitjacket.
Kara pulls against them for a moment, then relaxes. "What now, lover boy?"
"That depends on whether you overdosed on black kryptonite or not. If not -and that's what I'm hoping- then you'll turn back into a moderately traumatised Kara Zor-El. I will describe your behaviour in detail after I have destroyed all of the black kryptonite on Earth."
"And if I have overdosed?"
"Then we'll have to try something radical." I scan her, getting a picture of her brain and monitoring it to see how the patterns of activation deviate from her baselines. "Well done, Dana."
"Ah…"
"Yes, what-?"
A now enlarged suction hose is pointing at my face.
"Dana."
"Yeah, see, now I feel bad about this? But I work for the Legion of Super-Heroes, and… You're… Kind of accused of breaking the law."
"Do you have a lawful warrant for this state?"
"Not in… This century?"
"You said Earth was part of the Thanagarian Empire. Are you a law enforcement officer in the Thanagarian Empire?"
"No, but the human species is part of the United Planets. It's covered by the fact that our historical origins-."
"Do the Thanagarians agree with that interpretation?"
"No, but they don't-."
Behind her, Noriel presses the 'deactivate' button on the Hero Dial. Another puff of smoke and Dana reappears in her human form, a neat pile of debris-
I grab the coins from the top of the pile with a construct claw and affix them to my undersuit.
-made from all of the material she sucked up materialising next to her.
"Thank you, Noriel. Dana Dearden, you are under arrest for police impersonation, specifics to-"
"He-y!"
"-be determined once I find out how that works in this state."
"I wasn't impersonating a police officer!"
"You falsely claimed to have the authority to arrest me and I need something to put on the form when I send you to gaol. It will most likely not go to trial, but I really want to put this whole Legion mess to bed."
"Paul?" New Kara descends into the underground level, looking around as she tries to spot me. "Something happened with-. What happened to you? Why is Other Kara tied up like that?"
"Sometimes adults-."
I gag Old Kara.
"Had a bit of an accident with some kryptonite. Nothing to worry about, but-."
There's a blast of air and she's gone.
"But you-."
She reappears, a crate of glowing rocks in each hand!
She sees my expression and shakes her head.
"Don't worry! Kryptonite doesn't work on kryptonians from parallel universes! I'll go and throw this into the sun right away!"
Another blast of air and she's gone.
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Darko
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Ohh, God, I can see this being used in some superhero porn parody.
'rather than having'
'debris are drawn
Well, that was handy and quick.
So did New Kara just get all the kryptonite on the planet, since I think it would be well within her capabilities?
iamnuff
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Took him a second. He did already wonder where Kara was keeping the coins, and if she 'secret compartmented' them.
I knew where this was going from the moment I saw 'hoover'.
Or at least, I thought i did.
That's what I was hoping for!
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Mr Zoat
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Did you know that Ironheart was a porn film before it was a superhero comic?
Thank you, corrected.
No.
Kalem_Lee
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NGL, I almost laugh/cried.
Also when did YJ!Kara lose her underwear?
Ngamer11
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Mr Zoat, just to confirm, Kara stuck the coins inside of her "secret compartment" and Dana sucked them out?
Since Paul used gold kryptonite, Kara only had magic coins protecting her, and they don't protect clothing like her powers do. When Noriel used her flames, she was fine, but her clothes weren't.
iamnuff
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Also, it's lucky for Dana that Noriel turned her H-dial off, becuase i'm pretty sure Paul would have stomped her flat.
I mean, Kara thought so too, but...
I mean, Kara thought so too, but...
All of her clothes burned off. She's been naked for like half of this scene.
Mr Zoat
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Yesterday, when the SI and Noriel attacked her.
Yes.
Darko
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Given his luck with women I'd say pretty high.
Though I don't think any of the Supergirls are attracted to him.
Angelika probably just considers him a friend, Loriel at best tolerates him, Dana stalked him, but that was because she blamed him for losing her job, not due to any romantic feelings.
Kara 16 apparently felt safe around him and liked him, but that doesn't mean she had a crush on him. She may have just thought of him as a close friend.
Vaermina
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Congratulations Mr Zoat!
You have finally reached the point where you contradict your own canon!
Darko
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To use it to turn them good.
It could probably do that, or it may make them worse.
For example it may turn Zod into a bloodthirsty maniac that wants to kill everything, and while he's usually portrayed as evil, he may have something of a honor code and thinks that what he's doing is for the benefit of Kryptonians, and the black kryptonite may get rid of that and he goes full psycho.
Ngamer11
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That might be something that's unique to New Kara. In the comics, pre-Crisis Kara's powers were different from post-Crisis Linda's powers and even post-Crisis Superman's powers.
King of Frost
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I don't quite know what you're referring to, but I'd like to point out that she could just be wrong.
w34v3r
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... No he hasn't. It's only contradiction if she's right.
Um also why did Dana choose Now of all times to push the arrest? She'd been co-operating up to that point.
DrThoth
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Time to reverse-engineer or synthesize some white kryptonite! Probably by reversing the polarity or something.
Citizen
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Ha!
I...don't know if that's how this works.
Chojin Patriarch
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Oh, god, yes, please, do. Seriously, some of the crazy shit the Dial can produce... I'd ask what drugs the creators were on, but it was the Sixties. Every version since has only upped the wackiness of the characters...A Henry Vacuum, for reference's sake. And one of the least odd possible configurations. Honestly sounds like the Hetty variant. Amusingly, the spell-check wanted to make that 'Hotty'
...I am amazed neither you nor Kara are laughing yet...
If I remember correctly, the user does have an instinctive knowledge of how to use their new powers, though...
..It can take a moment.
We'll see. After all, Dana's newfound powers may well have conceptual capabilities.
If nothing else, it'll get all the wrecked gubbins Truggs was hoarding into one place.
Yeah, the dial does always seem to pick something useful for the current situation, even if it's not immediately obvious how.
Now, will the eyes prove bigger than the stomach... Er, motor.
Has that ever happened before? I'm not familiar with the older series, just the 'meh'-tier New 52 version.
An evil Kryptonian is bad enough, thanks.
So, guesses on what would happen folks? Would Dana die outright, or would the 'borrowed' form die and revert to Dana... Who would probably be turned into pulp a moment later, because Kryptonian.
Wait until she gets a sensitive spot, see how much you like it then. Though apparently that's a fetish for some people...
I offer no judgements. Oh, my.[/takei] Given Mr Zoat's word on the matter, that cannot have been entirely pleasant.Because she's still de-powered by the Gold Kryptonite burst OL gave her... Not so tough now, are you?
Uh, OL? Pants? Because she's still...
First, you get a detox. The hangover, you get to enjoy for yourself.
Then he looks for a Kryptonite colour that turns you good again. After getting the Black Kryptonite gone. No point risking Kal-el, Conner or Mitchell getting a dose.
...Dana, what are you planning?
Right. Mutant vacuum cleaner versus a Lantern Illustres.
That'll be a quick fight.Seriously? This can't wait? Also, what damn law could he possibly have broken?
I mean, the state might not even exist by the Thirtieth Century.
Quibbling, Dana. But please, do keep digging the hole deeper.
Heh. Thanagarians don't really hold with Vigilantes, do they? And I can see them classifying the Legion as a private militia or something like that...
Yoink! Now, will you be giving those back to her when she goes back to the future, or keeping them for further study?Well, I suppose he can drop the charges later. I doubt any DA would try and take it to court...
And which state you're even in, given that I don't think you mentioned it yet?
If nothing else, this might drag the others out of hiding for a long-awaited chat.
...Wait, go back. Did something happen to Truggs? That's kind of important, because he's the whole reason you came here, remember?
Just have her stay well clear or wear a radiation shield. She'll be...
...Mother-scooter! Please don't affect her... Please don't affect her......Well, shiiit. Either it won't affect her, but you loose the samples of kryptonite... Or it does affect her all at once, and you end up with a supercharged, evil, randomly-mutated Silver Age Kryptonian running loose...
God only knows what other colours were in there.Oh, boy. We can but hope that somehow the effects don't apply to her quite the same way as natives or near-dimensional alternates. I mean, she may think it doesn't affect her... But she could be wrong. I suppose we'll see soon, since she's probably fast enough to make the eight light-minute trip there, dump the rocks and be back in under that time. Still, at least Kara-16's contained.
So there's that?
Vaermina
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Darko
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Wait until she gets a sensitive spot, see how much you like it then. Though apparently that's a fetish for some people...
But you are still judging.
Yeah, if Clark gets infected then everyone is screwed.
Kara was bad enough, but Clark has over a decade of fighting experience and is more powerful, so unless he decides he likes psychological torture, he may kill thousands of people in seconds.
Kon is also pretty dangerous, since the blessing of Helios can potentially be capable of burning the entire planet.
Mitchell may be the easiest to take down, since he isn't involved in superheroics and probably doesn't have much experience in fighting.
Unless he fought the Sheeda.
Right. Mutant vacuum cleaner versus a Lantern Illustres.
Hey, powerful Lanterns have lost fights with a lot of strange things in the comics.
Good catch, I didn't notice this.
Rebu
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Ah, yes, that most ancient and powerful of magiks.
The UNO reverse card.
Stsword
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For those curious as to why New Kara might be immune to kryptonite that has been shown to be effective against extradimensional kryptonians, precrisis Supergirl was revealed to not be the same species as a New Earth kryptonian in Supergirl
So Zoat might be counting most kryptonians as the same species and hence vulnerable to the same kryptonite, but there are exceptions.
Power Girl for example comes from a kryptonian species that are specifically heavy-worlders so are very much still superhuman no matter what color sun is in the sky, just at Golden Age levels- faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings, etc, ala John Carter of Mars, as long as the local gravity is weaker than Krypton's.
Likewise there are versions of Ultraman who are kryptonians who are powered by kryptonite and not the sun, so obviously they don't have the same response to kryptonite exposure.
So Zoat might be counting most kryptonians as the same species and hence vulnerable to the same kryptonite, but there are exceptions.
Power Girl for example comes from a kryptonian species that are specifically heavy-worlders so are very much still superhuman no matter what color sun is in the sky, just at Golden Age levels- faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings, etc, ala John Carter of Mars, as long as the local gravity is weaker than Krypton's.
Likewise there are versions of Ultraman who are kryptonians who are powered by kryptonite and not the sun, so obviously they don't have the same response to kryptonite exposure.
Cuchulin
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No, I mean it seems like New Kara grabbed a couple crates of random kryptonite to throw into the sun rather than it specifically being Black Kryptonite.
Darko
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Sorry, I thought you meant specifically black kryptonite.
Though Paul, and presumably others, have access to information about kryptonite so they may be able to make their own, at least the more common types.