The Man (part 8)
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Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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3rd June 2013
07:13 GMT +2
"Ah, Bleez!" She turns around, eyebrows raise and a bar ofbirdseed granola in her hand. "Glad I caught you. I need your expertise."
"My-?" She frowns, squinting at me. "Are you taking up singing?"
"No. But-. Ah, are you keeping up with current affairs?"
"Kara tried getting me into that? But it's hard to read the body language when they don't have wings."
I-.
"Ah, no. I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure its not what I'm talking about."
"Oh. Okay. So, like, what are you talking about?"
"I'm trying to contract a planet-."
"Waitwaitwait-" She holds her free hand across her chest in a 'stop' gesture. "-wait. Is this something I'm gunna have to pretend I don't know about later?"
"Er." Is it? "Maybe? Thanagarian intelligence knows that there are other magic capable species out there, and the planet in question is quite a long way from thanagarian space."
She looks almost comedically dubious. "We can send ships quite a long way. That's how you met Lieutenant Dul."
"Yes, but the Empire doesn't have regular communication with them. A squad of agents poking around isn't really a problem, and they… Well, they've got experience in dealing with aliens. They should be able to cope."
"Oh-kay, if you say so." She wing-shrugs, then leans on the counter between us with her arms-.
I nod downwards. "You're doing it again."
"Huh?" She blinks, then follows the direction of my nod-. "Oh!"
She separates her arms, firmly planting her elbows on the work surface and allowing her mammaries to hang naturally.
"Okay, what do you need?"
"So, the queen of the planet I'm trying to contract wants to visit Earth first."
"She isn't gunna just send someone? That's the usual thing to do."
"I suspect that she may also be on the prowl for a husband. Also… It's a noblesse oblige thing. She's either the most powerful magic user on her planet, or the top fraction of a percent. If she can't keep herself safe then she can't do her job."
"I think that's more of a héroïque oblige thing? All the nobles on Havania have people for visiting business partners and doing inspections. And the husband thing."
"Really? And your mother hasn't sent a matchmaker to Earth? You've been here a while."
She gurns at me. "No. Mother only sends matchmakers to see people she wants me to marry. She'd never send one to Earth." Then she grins. "It's great!"
"You know, if you spent a tenth of the effort on finding an acceptable husband as you do on your music, you'd probably have found someone by now." I frown. "Or I… Guess I could build you an android?"
Her frown is tinged with curiosity. "Like a..? Sex robot?"
"I could build one of those. Or I could build one with advanced social heuristics programming that could play the roll of a consort. Or I could build an actual intelligent synthetic person."
"A person-person? With its own ideas and..? Everything?"
"I'm been looking into it, and it seems that most artificial intelligences like having a clear purpose, at least to start with. So while it sounds like I'm offering to make you a custom slave, really it's more like… You're the training wheels while he learns to function in a civilisation made by messy imprecise organics."
"Ah. Thanks? But nooooooo."
"Okay, as you wish. But… You've said that you want to get married eventually. Is that..? No longer the case?"
"I do. Just… You know? Not now."
"If I hadn't suggested that stupid timeline to Jade, I'd have asked her to marry me already. But…" I make jazz hands. "Hassling you about getting married is your mother's job. I just want to make sure that you're working towards what you actually want."
"It's not my mother's job…" She ruffles her wings. "Okay, so what do you want me to do?"
"Help me plan a tour. Find her… Appropriate accommodation. Help me wrangle her retinue and explain things when she actually gets here because you've got an alien's perspective on Earth."
"Accommodation? When we visit someone, we usually get a room in their keep or manor."
"This isn't.. really an embassy."
"Isn't it? Isn't that what that comic… Lord… Guy, built it for?"
"He build it as a trade post. Somewhere for people to visit, view his wares and negotiate trade agreements. An official residence would look rather different. I just haven't… Needed one. There's nothing here and there aren't any transportation links because everyone who's here can fly under their own power. And I can't really put her up in Jade's apartment in Gotham"
"What about Queen Hippolyta? Does she have spare rooms, or did they just not bother building them because of the total isolation thing?"
I nod. "That could work. The Amazons do have guest quarters, and their Dolmen Gate is a direct path to New York. I'll ask. And since she's going to be within walking distance of New York, and KordTech recently got its magic research and development team back, we can set up a showing there. Dolmen Gates, the weather control system, whatever pet projects he's got going…"
"Uh-huh, that sounds good. What was it you wanted the extra gates for?"
"Improving Hub City. But Hub City is a hole. I don't think taking her there is actually a good idea."
"No no no, you totally should. Impress her with your vision. Because even if it's a hole now, you know how to make it a not-hole."
"Okay, can do. Should I also do… Something cultural?"
"Um… No, I don't think so? I mean, have something in mind in case she says that she does? But this is a ruler coming here to check that you're who you say you are. She's got to be busy with all kinds of things on her homeworld. If everything goes well you can invite her for a social-type visit in a few years. How urgent is the husband thing?"
"She's been single for one thousand five hundred years."
"So… Not urgent, or is there some big thing coming up?"
"Not urgent, I guess?"
"Huh. Okay. Let's go to the meeting room and start getting some detail down."
07:13 GMT +2
"Ah, Bleez!" She turns around, eyebrows raise and a bar of
"My-?" She frowns, squinting at me. "Are you taking up singing?"
"No. But-. Ah, are you keeping up with current affairs?"
"Kara tried getting me into that? But it's hard to read the body language when they don't have wings."
I-.
"Ah, no. I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure its not what I'm talking about."
"Oh. Okay. So, like, what are you talking about?"
"I'm trying to contract a planet-."
"Waitwaitwait-" She holds her free hand across her chest in a 'stop' gesture. "-wait. Is this something I'm gunna have to pretend I don't know about later?"
"Er." Is it? "Maybe? Thanagarian intelligence knows that there are other magic capable species out there, and the planet in question is quite a long way from thanagarian space."
She looks almost comedically dubious. "We can send ships quite a long way. That's how you met Lieutenant Dul."
"Yes, but the Empire doesn't have regular communication with them. A squad of agents poking around isn't really a problem, and they… Well, they've got experience in dealing with aliens. They should be able to cope."
"Oh-kay, if you say so." She wing-shrugs, then leans on the counter between us with her arms-.
I nod downwards. "You're doing it again."
"Huh?" She blinks, then follows the direction of my nod-. "Oh!"
She separates her arms, firmly planting her elbows on the work surface and allowing her mammaries to hang naturally.
"Okay, what do you need?"
"So, the queen of the planet I'm trying to contract wants to visit Earth first."
"She isn't gunna just send someone? That's the usual thing to do."
"I suspect that she may also be on the prowl for a husband. Also… It's a noblesse oblige thing. She's either the most powerful magic user on her planet, or the top fraction of a percent. If she can't keep herself safe then she can't do her job."
"I think that's more of a héroïque oblige thing? All the nobles on Havania have people for visiting business partners and doing inspections. And the husband thing."
"Really? And your mother hasn't sent a matchmaker to Earth? You've been here a while."
She gurns at me. "No. Mother only sends matchmakers to see people she wants me to marry. She'd never send one to Earth." Then she grins. "It's great!"
"You know, if you spent a tenth of the effort on finding an acceptable husband as you do on your music, you'd probably have found someone by now." I frown. "Or I… Guess I could build you an android?"
Her frown is tinged with curiosity. "Like a..? Sex robot?"
"I could build one of those. Or I could build one with advanced social heuristics programming that could play the roll of a consort. Or I could build an actual intelligent synthetic person."
"A person-person? With its own ideas and..? Everything?"
"I'm been looking into it, and it seems that most artificial intelligences like having a clear purpose, at least to start with. So while it sounds like I'm offering to make you a custom slave, really it's more like… You're the training wheels while he learns to function in a civilisation made by messy imprecise organics."
"Ah. Thanks? But nooooooo."
"Okay, as you wish. But… You've said that you want to get married eventually. Is that..? No longer the case?"
"I do. Just… You know? Not now."
"If I hadn't suggested that stupid timeline to Jade, I'd have asked her to marry me already. But…" I make jazz hands. "Hassling you about getting married is your mother's job. I just want to make sure that you're working towards what you actually want."
"It's not my mother's job…" She ruffles her wings. "Okay, so what do you want me to do?"
"Help me plan a tour. Find her… Appropriate accommodation. Help me wrangle her retinue and explain things when she actually gets here because you've got an alien's perspective on Earth."
"Accommodation? When we visit someone, we usually get a room in their keep or manor."
"This isn't.. really an embassy."
"Isn't it? Isn't that what that comic… Lord… Guy, built it for?"
"He build it as a trade post. Somewhere for people to visit, view his wares and negotiate trade agreements. An official residence would look rather different. I just haven't… Needed one. There's nothing here and there aren't any transportation links because everyone who's here can fly under their own power. And I can't really put her up in Jade's apartment in Gotham"
"What about Queen Hippolyta? Does she have spare rooms, or did they just not bother building them because of the total isolation thing?"
I nod. "That could work. The Amazons do have guest quarters, and their Dolmen Gate is a direct path to New York. I'll ask. And since she's going to be within walking distance of New York, and KordTech recently got its magic research and development team back, we can set up a showing there. Dolmen Gates, the weather control system, whatever pet projects he's got going…"
"Uh-huh, that sounds good. What was it you wanted the extra gates for?"
"Improving Hub City. But Hub City is a hole. I don't think taking her there is actually a good idea."
"No no no, you totally should. Impress her with your vision. Because even if it's a hole now, you know how to make it a not-hole."
"Okay, can do. Should I also do… Something cultural?"
"Um… No, I don't think so? I mean, have something in mind in case she says that she does? But this is a ruler coming here to check that you're who you say you are. She's got to be busy with all kinds of things on her homeworld. If everything goes well you can invite her for a social-type visit in a few years. How urgent is the husband thing?"
"She's been single for one thousand five hundred years."
"So… Not urgent, or is there some big thing coming up?"
"Not urgent, I guess?"
"Huh. Okay. Let's go to the meeting room and start getting some detail down."
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