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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Equestrian Girls (part 9)
1st April 2012
Evening


Oh this place is amazing!

I don't know if it's the cook or this pony tongue but the food here is top-notch. I was a bit reluctant to try the hay-based things but.. actually, with all the spices to give them flavour, it kind of works. I've got to bring the family here. Once I check that the younger children's medicine still works when they're in pony form.

I wonder if harmony magic could fix them, too? I'd been assuming not because it's just part of how their body works rather than any kind of curse, but I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion.

I slide my very clear formerly-covered-in-chestnut-curry plate forward, then float it up to join the others.

"Okay, I think I'm done. How about you?"

Street Stalker -the earth pony- nods. He'd been sampling a little of everything, and as a result he was still eating about two thirds of the way through my meal.

"This place is really good. Most restaurants in Canterlot are totally overpriced."

Swooping Strike -the bat pony- snorts in agreement. "And the food's terrible."

I frown. "How do they do that? Wouldn't the cooks' special talents mean they.. just knew when they were doing that?"

Hidden Presence -the unicorn- shakes his head. "Only if they were making a mess of things by accident. If they were actually trying to make cardboard, then… Cardboard's what they'd get. And since the restaurant manager probably has a coin pouch on their rump…"

"Canterlot ponies like cardboard? I'd have thought that there'd be more variety than that."

Street and Swooping look at Hidden.

"What? Hey, include me out. Why do you think I always eat in the mess? Just.. herd psychology, I guess. Everypony knows that's what restaurants are supposed to serve, so that's what everypony expects. Though I guess 'following the herd' isn't really an alicorn thing."

"No, it-"

Lantern Grayven, it's happening.

"-isn't."

I smile.

Who went first?

The police.

"Ah, Graven?" Swooping looks at me inquisitively. "I know you said you weren't evil, but that's kinda an evil smile you're doing?"

"I never said I wasn't evil. In fact, I'd say that I'm being pretty evil right now."

The guards look at each other, but Swooping has the initiative.

"You… Are?"

"Sure. You were following me when I went to the library, right?" She nods. "And the law firm?" She nods again. "Wanna see the results?"

There's a small flare as a hologram projector appears in the middle of the table, then an image of the Bearers' party appears. Everyone's smiling and.. playing some sort of game-. They're playing Twister, Luna's longer legs giving her a distinct advantage.

"You're spying on them?"

"Keep watching." I pull the camera out just as a night guard and a couple of other ponies walk in. The first has a truncheon and handc-. Hoofcuffs cutie mark while the second has a scroll and scales.

Street regards them carefully as they approach the game area.

"That's Steady Beat and Weigh Evidence. Why are they there?"

"Is there ever a situation where you think that the law shouldn't be enforced?"

He thinks for a moment. "You mean like if a starving pony steals food?"

"No, if a starving pony steals food then they clearly shouldn't be left in charge of themselves. I mean like if a person is vital to the running of the country they should be allowed to ignore any laws they want."

"No?"

I nod. "Let's see if they feel like that."

Luna frowns and says something to the spinner-wielding Pinkie Pie. The Twister-playing ponies immediately begin disentangling themselves and she walks towards the awkward-looking officers.

"And sound."

"…intruding, your highness, but we need to speak with Miss Rarity. It's.. urgent."

Rarity steps around Applejack and trots over.

"Why? Whatever is the matter?"

"Ah… Well…" Steady Beat levitates the thick bundle of papers myself and my lawyer wrote and opens it near the beginning. "We've received a dossier which alleges that you've committed several acts of theft-."

"Uoh." Rarity rolls her eyes. "Is this the best that Graven fellow could do? Unsubstantiated allegations?"

"I can't comment on where it came from, ma'am, but if this-" He flicks through it briefly. "-is true, then it's very far from unsubstantiated."

Rarity lets out a mildly indignant splutter-cough.

"Really."

"Yes ma'am. It is alleged that you have -on a number of occasions- travelled outside Ponyville town limits and engaged in mineral prospecting; to whit, locating and excavating various precious stones."

"Yes? The land is part of Ponyville, and Ponyville doesn't require that I have a licence."

"In point of fact ma'am -and we're checking this now just in case- the area this dossier alleges that you prospect in isn't part of Ponyville."

"Now hold on a gosh darn minute, here." Applejack steps forward. "That whole area was part o' the original land grant Princess Celestia gave t' my great grandfolks."

"Well, that may be true, but it would only matter if the Princess had the right to give it away. You see -and this is the part we're checking- when ponies first came to this part of the world, there were plenty of species already living here. Which mean that as Equestria was settled there were.. areas that weren't part of pony society."

Luna nods. "Yes, We remember it well. We left them to their own affairs as Our nation expanded."

Steady Beat nods. "The most recent law we found on the subject is…"

"The Aboriginal Relations Act of three thirty two." Weigh Evidence pulls a scroll out of her saddlebags with her teeth and offers it to her sovereign. A blue aura surrounds it and it floats out of her grasp. "Equestria never forced aboriginal groups to become part of Equestria. This resulted in there being a number of semi-autonomous micro-nations wholly within Equestrian territory. The Act defines -among other things- who is responsible if a crime is committed by a citizen on one side of the border against the other."

Steady Beat nods again. "The Diamond Dog pack who live near Ponyville might -and I stress might- be covered by the Act. If they are, that means that their territory was never part of Equestria. And if it was never part of Equestria…"

"Then Our Sister could not grant it to the Apple family. We are surprised that there are still territories within Equestria which have not integrated of their own volition, but the law is as she states."

Rarity's eyes widen slightly.

Twilight trots to the fore. "And what would that mean for Rarity?"

"That would mean that she'd be charged with one count of theft for each prospecting trip."

"But I... The dogs and I came to an arrangement."

"Oh?" Steady Beat smiles. "If they freely agreed to allow you to prospect in their territory then we can throw this whole thing out. Could you describe the circumstances, so we can write it into our report?"

"Yes, of course-. Ah, 'freely'?"

"Yeah, you know: without being threatened by anypony. Ah, anyone, I should say. Because, heh, obviously if they'd been threatened that would invalidate the whole thing."

Rarity sits down.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for Princess Twilight Sparkle?"

A short pegasus pony mare in a plain green suit walks in through the door. Twilight looks from her to the officers to Rarity and back again.

"Is this urgent?"

"Yes. I'm from Canterlot Child Services and I've-" She pulls out a document with her left wing. "-received a report that you're the primary caregiver of an infant dragon, and that he has never been registered either with a school or as being home schooled. A child's education is a rather serious matter and I'm hopeful that you can shed some light on this."

I stand and open a boom tube to the room, grinning evilly as I do so. I stride through, the assembled ponies looking at me in shock.

"All I wanted was to be cleansed of evil. You refused me. This took me but a few hours. Each of you has points of vulnerability. Mistakes you concealed. Use the Elements on me, or I will find them and make you suffer the consequences. And so that you have advanced warning: Pinkie Pie, you're next."

There's silence.

"Whaw, Princess Luna has terrible taste in stallions."
 
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Oh this place is amazing!

I don't know if it's the cook or this pony tongue but the food here is top-notch. I was a bit reluctant to try the hay-based things but.. actually, with all the spices to give them flavour, it kind of works. I've got to bring the family here. Once I check that the younger children's medicine still works when they're in pony form.
Yes, would be awkward if they started feeding on random ponies in a blood-rage... Especially if their ponified forms lack the necessary equipment to do so.

I wonder if harmony magic could fix them, too? I'd been assuming not because it's just part of how their body works rather than any kind of curse, but I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion.
Yes, it would be very prudent to triple-check everybody's work, too. No taking chances with the young'uns.

I slide my very clear formerly-covered-in-chestnut-curry plate forward, then float it up to join the others.

"Okay, I think I'm done. How about you?"
And peeking around the kitchen door, the staff stare in amazed shock at his appetitie.

Street Stalker -the earth pony- nods. He'd been sampling a little of everything, and as a result he was still eating about two thirds of the way through my meal.

"This place is really good. Most restaurants in Canterlot are totally overpriced."
Goes with the territory. The rich part of town always takes advantage of the rich folks...

Swooping Strike -the bat pony- snorts in agreement. "And the food's terrible."

I frown. "How to they do that? Wouldn't the cooks' special talents mean they.. just knew when they were doing that?"
You're assuming they have any kind of talent for food?

Hidden Presence -the unicorn- shakes his head. "Only if they were making a mess of things by accident. If they were actually trying to make cardboard, then… Cardboard's what they'd get. And since the restaurant manager probably as a coin pouch on their rump…"

"Canterlot ponies like cardboard? I'd have thought that there'd be more variety than that."
And that's actually a thing? Ugh, food trends suck in Equestira...

Street and Swooping look at Hidden.

"What? Hey, include me out. Why do you think I always eat in the mess? Just.. herd psychology, I guess. Everypony knows that's what restaurants are supposed to serve, so that's what everypony expects. Though I guess 'following the herd' isn't really an alicorn thing."
And no-one wants to admit that it tastes terrible because they'd be seen as boorish. It's a total "Emperor's New Clothes' scenario!

"No, it-"

Lantern Grayven, it's happening.
Yay! Party time... Waait, what's happening?

"-isn't."

I smile.

Who went first?

The police.
Oh, boy, what'd he do? Or is it a case of what didn't he do?

"Ah, Graven?" Swooping looks at me inquisitively. "I know you said you weren't evil, but that's kinda an evil smile you're doing ?"

"I never said I wasn't evil. In fact, I'd say that I'm being pretty evil right now."
Hey, he's got a reputation to establish, after all.

The guards look at each other, but Swooping has the initiative.

"You… Are?"

"Sure. You were following me when I went to the library, right?" She nods. "And the law firm?" She nods again. "Wanna see the results?"
Oh, boy. Too bad they've already eaten, this is something best enjoyed with popcorn.

There's a small flare as a hologram projector appears in the middle of the table, then an image of the Bearers' party appears. Everyone's smiling and.. playing some sort of game-. They're playing Twister, Luna's longer legs giving her a distinct advantage.

"You're spying on them?"
"Well, not in private. Except maybe Lu-lu. Seriously, those legs? You should see what positions she can manage..."x3

"Keep watching." I pull the camera out just as a night guard and a couple of other ponies walk in. The first has a truncheon and handc-. Hoofcuffs cutie mark while the second has a scroll and scales.

Street regards them carefully as they approach the game area.

"That's Steady Beat and Weigh Evidence. Why are they there?"
I'm betting the former's parents were musicians, weren't they?:p

"Is there ever a situation where you think that the law shouldn't be enforced?"

He thinks for a moment. "You mean like if a starving pony steals food?"

"No, if a starving pony steals food then they clearly shouldn't be left in charge of themselves. I mean like if a person is vital to the running of the country they should be allowed to ignore any laws they want."
Good outlook. And that's a very Apokaliptian point of view.

"No?"

I nod. "Let's see if they feel like that."
Oh, this is going to be fun... Well, except for the Mane Six...

Luna frowns and says something to the spinner-wielding Pinkie Pie. The Twister-playing ponies immediately begin disentangling themselves and she walks towards the awkward-looking officers.

"And sound."

"…intruding, your highness, but we need to speak with Miss Rarity. It's.. urgent."
And I just remembered: Grayven has full knowlegde of FiM, doesn't he, at least through the seasons he'd seen... Time to see what that out-of-context knowledge can do...

Rarity steps around Applejack and trots over.

"Why? Whatever is the matter?"

"Ah… Well…" Steady Beat levitates the thick bundle of papers myself and my lawyer wrote and open it near the beginning. "We've received a dossier which alleges that you've committed several acts of theft-."
Ah, her Gem-gathering talent. Hope she did everything above-board...

"Uoh." Rarity rolls her eyes. "Is this the best that Graven fellow could do? Unsubstantiated allegations?"

"I can't comment on where it came from, ma'am, but if this-" He flicks through it briefly. "-is true, then it's very far from unsubstantiated."
Is Rarity going to need a lawyer, or can she get a pardon from Luna?

Rarity lets out a mildly indignant splutter-cough.

"Really."

"Yes ma'am. It is alleged that you have -on a number of occasions- travelled outside Ponyville town limits and engaged in mineral prospecting; to whit, locating and excavating various precious stones."
Oh, man, where's this going, I wonder?

"Yes? The land is part of Ponyville, and Ponyville doesn't require that I have a licence."

"In point of fact ma'am -and we've checking this now just in case- the area this dossier alleges that you prospect it isn't part of Ponyville."
Oh, yes... The Diamond Dog incident...

"Now hold on a gosh darn minute, here." Applejack steps forward. "That whole area was part o' the original land grant Princess Celestia gave t' my great grandfolks."

"Well, that may be true, but it would only matter if the Princess had the right to give it away. You see -and this is the part we're checking- when ponies first came to this part of the world, there were plenty of species already living here. Which mean that as Equestria was settled there were.. areas that weren't part of pony society."
<Facepalm> Something the show paid very little attention too, outside of Griffons, Dragons and the Diamond Dogs...

Luna nods. "Yes, We remember it well. We left them to their own affairs as Our nation expanded."

Steady Beat nods. "The most recent law we found on the subject is…"

"The Aboriginal Relations Act of three thirty two." Weigh Evidence pulls a scroll out of her saddlebags with her teeth and offers it to her sovereign. A blue aura surrounds it and it floats out of her grasp. "Equestria never forced aboriginal groups to become part of Equestria. This resulted in there being a number of semi-automomous micro-nations wholly within Equestrian territory. The Act defines -among other things- who is responsible if a crime is committed by a citizen on one side of the border against the other."
Oh, god, Grayven is trolling them using the law itself? Truly he is evil.

Steady Beat nods again. "The Diamond Dog pack who live near Ponyville might -and I stress might- be covered by the Act. If they are, that means that their territory was never part of Equestria. And if it was never part of Equestria…"

"Then Our Sister could not grant it to the Apple family. We are surprised that there are still territories within Equestria which have not integrated of their own volition, but the law is as she states."
Oh, hey, that likely means Rarity can't just get Luna to pardon her, either...

Rarity's eyes widen slightly.

Twilight trots to the fore. "And what would that mean for Rarity?"

"That would mean that she'd be charged with one count of theft for each prospecting trip."
Ah, bringing real-world logic into cartoons.

"But I... The dogs and I came to an arrangement."

"Oh?" Steady Beat smiles. "If they freely agreed to allow you to prospect in their territory then we can throw this whole thing out. Could you describe the circumstances, so we can write it into our report?"

"Yes, of course-. Ah, 'freely'?"
Oh, dear oh dear... Didn't she and Spike kind of terrorize them into surrendering?:D

"Yeah, you know: without being threatened by anypony. Ah, anyone, I should say. Because, heh, obviously if they'd been threatened that would invalidate the whole thing."

Rarity sits down.
Wow, this could have some major fallout,.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for Princess Twilight Sparkle?"

A short pegasus pony mare in a plain green suit walks in through the door. Twilight looks from her to the officers to Rarity and back again.

"Is this urgent?"
What now, I wonder?

"Yes. I'm from Canterlot Child Services and I've-" She pulls out a document with her left wing. "-received a report that you're the primary caregiver of an infant dragon, and that he has never been registered either with a school or as being home schooled. A child's education is a rather serious matter and I'm hopeful that you can shed some light on this."
:eek:...And no-one ever though to consider that, did they? They just assumed "Oh, he'll pick it up as he goes..." Well, that's a kick in the flank.:p

I stand and open a boom tube to the room, grinning evilly as I do so. I stride through, the assembled ponies looking at me in shock.

"All I wanted was to be cleansed of evil. You refused me. This took me but a few hours. Each of you has points of vulnerability. Mistakes you concealed. Use the Elements on me, or I will find them and make you suffer the consequences. And so that you have advanced warning: Pinkie Pie, you're next."
Hmm... Food Health and Safety service inspection, or maybe an entertainment Union?

There's silence.

"Whaw, Princess Luna has terrible taste in stallions."
And she probably heard that...

Glorious! Grayven goes beyond mere trolling. Are we sure he's not the New God of Trolling, after all? Because seriously, he's living up to that moniker...
 
Mr Zoat?
Can you also include "Reckless Child Endangerment"? I am sure there are various points in there adventures that qualify, but that 1 episode where they showed how Spike and Twilight Sparkle met it always rubbed me a bit wrong that the school/Princess Celestia gave a not yet even an infant still in it's egg of a Sentient creature to a child with barely any training to magicaly experiment on as a test subject. For an Entrance Exam! Literally anything wrong could have happened with all that wild magic shooting out.
I would really appreciate a mention or something about the Spike investigations to lead to a possible court hearing about the school and any guilty parties.
 
He's already called in the police and CPS. What's next, the Equestrian Revenue Service? (Has Dash ever filed her taxes incorrectly?) How about the Board of Weather Control - do you need a license to practice weather in Equestria? Dash is a dropout, if I remember correctly. The Department of Food and Drugs? (Hope the Apples have a license for the production and sale of magical foodstuffs. Who decided that Zap apples are safe?) The Time Police? Twilight had a bit of an adventure there... after breaking and entering into a secured wing of the Library.

Celestia's reaction when she returns home to Canterlot on fire is going to be something to behold. I'm also looking forward to seeing her reunion with Sunset.

This has been an extremely silly arc, and I love it.
 
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Honestly Grayven is just lucky these agencies assigned idiots to his complaints.

Because anyone with two brain-cells to rub together would have seen the names, noticed the connection to Luna/Celestia, and then misfiled his complaints somewhere they would never have been found.
 
You know... I can't help but feel that Grayven is forgetting rule 0 of actual monarchies.

IE that the rulers are the final arbiters of all laws.
Yes but you are forgetting something their entire societies stability is based on the principles of the magic of friendship bleh, them going rules for thee not for me which seems like it might be their version of "let them eat cake" and might make their whole society a little unstable especially as certain members of nobility decide to follow the their diarchs lead.
.
Honestly Grayven is just lucky these agencies assigned idiots to his complaints.

Because anyone with two brain-cells to rub together would have seen the names, noticed the connection to Luna/Celestia, and then misfiled his complaints somewhere they would never have been found.
You do have a point piss off the entities that have our entire society in their grasp and we rely on to move the goddamn celestial bodies
 
Mr Zoat?
Can you also include "Reckless Child Endangerment"? I am sure there are various points in there adventures that qualify, but that 1 episode where they showed how Spike and Twilight Sparkle met it always rubbed me a bit wrong that the school/Princess Celestia gave a not yet even an infant still in it's egg of a Sentient creature to a child with barely any training to magically experiment on as a test subject. For an Entrance Exam! Literally anything wrong could have happened with all that wild magic shooting out.

I would really appreciate a mention or something about the Spike investigations to lead to a possible court hearing about the school and any guilty parties.
I've seen a few interesting takes on that in canon. One is that it's supposed to be impossible for a student at that age to hatch the egg. Another was that it wasn't an egg, it was a painted rock. But since Celestia signed off on it it was probably legal in Equestria.
How would rainbow blasting him help now? The legal accusations stand.
It would prevent there being more.
Also, we need a Discord interaction with him.
That will be next episode.
Change "as" to "has".
Thank you, corrected.
He's already called in the police and CPS. What's next, the Equestrian Revenue Service? (Has Dash ever filed her taxes incorrectly?)
I'm not sure if this is modern American politics or not, but you know that America has a messed up tax system by design, right? In most countries it's a lot simpler. I doubt that Dash files her taxes so much as briefly grimaces at the PAYE deduction on her payslip.
 
...Mind spelling it out for those who don't have the first two seasons memorized?

Off the top of my head harassment, breaking and entering, trespassing, child endangerment maybe, she likely needs a license for her party cannon, her having pet baby alligator might get her into legal trouble.
 
What's that quote about everyone committing three felonies daily?
Off the top of my head harassment, breaking and entering, trespassing, child endangerment maybe, she likely needs a license for her party cannon, her having pet baby alligator might get her into legal trouble.
There was also that incident where she and Applejack poisoned the entire town. Baked Bads, wasn't it?
 
<Facepalm> Something the show paid very little attention too, outside of Griffons, Dragons and the Diamond Dogs...
I read one fanfic where the Hearth's Warming tale was complete nonsense. What actually happened was that when the three tribes arrived they saw a thriving and prosperous Diamond Dog nation and were so viscerally disgusted that they carried out a campaign of extermination against them.

Twilight found out and covered it up.
 
I wonder if this'll result in the Mane 6 becoming temporarily unable to use the Elements of Harmony.
 

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