Rafin
Not too sore, are you?
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What did he look like?
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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
-
- Tags
- self insert young justice
Handlewithcare
Versed in the lewd.
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I really liked this and the previous update.
Zoat writes some of his best stuff when it's about people rationally pulling apart data, considerig the consequences and making logical deductions.
Zoat writes some of his best stuff when it's about people rationally pulling apart data, considerig the consequences and making logical deductions.
Coda
Versed in the lewd.
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its
Usually one word, but sometimes hyphenated.
He looked like a Darkstar analyst.What did he look like?
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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Like a Dark-.What did he look like?
Darn it.
Thank you, corrected.
Chaoswind
Lord of nonsense
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Really hope this isn't Astarte daughter being abandoned in enemy territory because Astarte fears Grayven is going to replace her with the younger model. It would be ridiculous for the circumstances to work so neatly to have her end in the custody of the orange lantern corps and the controllers and this fic is already suffering from character bloat so the last thing we need is for more random plot characters to keep track off... We are already suffering from the absence of the young team and cool kids like Cornwall boy (teen).
boo600
Welp
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Agreed!
More of the team is always needed.
The good news is, given how utterly devastating the Anti-Life infection of Earth is, we'll be seeing them as soon as the Reach is properly pushed back. That means that the only concern is not whether we'll get more Young Justice, but how well they'll be doing and which ones.
Personally, I'm hoping for more Kon, M'gann, Wallace, Kaldur, Artemis, Richard, Zatanna, Rob, Beryl, Angelika, and Raquel!
…there's so many. I haven't even gotten into more adult JL members, or Alan. Dear god this fic has so many great characters on Earth.
Ok. I'm going to root for more Vril Dox, Ragnar, Komand'r, Koriand'r, Xor…
Ok, I see what you mean. The only team member that I'm not extremely hyped to see is Speedy/Red Arrow, and Arsenal. I'm hyped for Canis, hyped for Superman, hyped for… all of them. There's really no point in being anything other than patient, is there? Poor Zoat can only write so much; space-time still limits him!
Congratulation on weaving an excellent narrative out of this many detailed characters, you crazy bastard.
More of the team is always needed.
The good news is, given how utterly devastating the Anti-Life infection of Earth is, we'll be seeing them as soon as the Reach is properly pushed back. That means that the only concern is not whether we'll get more Young Justice, but how well they'll be doing and which ones.
Personally, I'm hoping for more Kon, M'gann, Wallace, Kaldur, Artemis, Richard, Zatanna, Rob, Beryl, Angelika, and Raquel!
…there's so many. I haven't even gotten into more adult JL members, or Alan. Dear god this fic has so many great characters on Earth.
Ok. I'm going to root for more Vril Dox, Ragnar, Komand'r, Koriand'r, Xor…
Ok, I see what you mean. The only team member that I'm not extremely hyped to see is Speedy/Red Arrow, and Arsenal. I'm hyped for Canis, hyped for Superman, hyped for… all of them. There's really no point in being anything other than patient, is there? Poor Zoat can only write so much; space-time still limits him!
Congratulation on weaving an excellent narrative out of this many detailed characters, you crazy bastard.
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Counterpunched (Renegade Option)
Mr Zoat
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18th January 2013
14:33 GMT -7
"Yeah, I'm…" I knock gently on the door of Sunset's office in her school. "I'm going to talk to her now."
"Dids't you not notice her distress?"
"Well, yeah, but that's a fairly normal result of her talking to Celestia and she actually seemed less bad this time."
The ability to send telephonic communication through the portal without laying down a cable is an innovation of Sunset's… Though I don't know if she's going to be doing much else with it from now on.
"She warded the portal 'gainst our sister."
"Which is blooming impressive, if you think about it." I hear footsteps inside the office. "Alright, she's coming. I'll call you back."
"Be well, beloved."
"I'll-" Sunset opens the door. "-try. See you later."
I deactivate the phone and subspace it, smiling at Sunset as I do so.
She looks… I think I'd say 'resigned' more than anything. She doesn't meet my eyes to start with, the realises what she's doing and meets them, then realises what she's doing again and stops.
"Hey Grayven."
"You wanna talk about it?"
She sort of… Twitches.
"Is.. 'no'.. an option?"
"Yees. Not a good one. Not one I'd recommend, because… No one wants to deal with Nightmare Sunset… But if you tell me to, I'll go."
"'Nightmare Sunset'?" She steps away from the door and nods me inside. "That was the best you could come up with? It makes sense for Luna 'cause she used to spy on ponies when they sleep-"
I look at her pointedly. "'Guard their dreams against nightmares.'"
"-but I've never done anything like that. Would you call yourself 'Nightmare Grayven'?" She stops and frowns as I follow her into her office. "No, actually, that kinda works."
"I was thinking of 'Grayseid'."
"That works too. Damn it." She turns and sits on her desk. "So."
"'Thank you for being honest with me, and I never want to see you again'."
"Yeah. Yeah. Turns out, you were right the first time."
"It wouldn't have been the same. But I actually… Wasn't listening to your conversation. Can you..? Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"You know, it-. I used to complain about Celestia's friendship fixation. But I-. I mean, I… Get it, social relationships are important, I just-."
"What if the Elements were powered by something completely different? Would she have encouraged you to learn whatever that was?"
"No?" She blinks. "Though… I mean, yes, now. I don't know how she'd have-. If it was.. your rings or something-." She shakes her head. "No, it was-."
She takes a deep breath.
"Okay, so the Elements are loyalty, honesty, generosity, kindness and laughter. And those are what she was trying to teach me… Badly. Right?"
I nod.
"But she didn't tell me the truth about any of it. She banished me because I tried to find out the truth by myself and she lied about it. She lied about alicorn ascension, and she lied to and hid stuff from Twilight. And then… Loyalty? She's pretty loyal to Luna, but that… Basically meant that she was fine imperilling the whole country that was loyal to her because she cared more about her sister than the rest of us. And the same with Discord."
"And she exiled you when you were still loyal to her, just annoyed with her poor teaching methods."
"And the royal guards… She's been in fights and led armies before. She must have known that they were useless. And did you know that she invited Twilight and her five closest friends to the Grand Galloping Gala because she thought they'd make a mess of it? Hundreds of ponies were going there, and hundreds more worked hard to make everything work, and she deliberately ruined it because she was bored. She pranked Fluttershy when Philomena was dying-. Philomena's her pet phoenix. She just gets better when she dies. But she does stuff like that all the time!"
"And..?"
"She's a Princess. When she pranks people that's not a prank between equals. It's the-. It's the God-Queen of the country pranking someone. It's not like they could prank back, even if they could even think about pranking back, which they couldn't, because she's a God-Queen."
I nod sympathetically. "President Roosevelt was the same. One time, he ordered one of his bodyguards to go up a ladder onto a roof, then got someone to take the ladder away."
"Right! That's not friendly!" … "Is it?"
"No, it's not. So what you're saying is that she's not loyal, honest, generous or kind and that her sense of humour leaves a lot to be desired. So she might have been trying to teach you to be friendly, but what she actually showed you was…"
"The exact opposite. I didn't really… Think about it before. She… She taught me a lot, and it meant a lot, her taking time from running the country to teach me. Except, she… Doesn't really care about the country because-"
"Now hang-"
"-she put getting Luna back ahead of everything. And she taught me because she needed somepony to make that happen, which… Which would have been fine if she'd just told me what she wanted instead of dressing the whole thing up."
"-on. She didn't just quit when Luna came back, and she easily could have."
"And do what?" Sunset shrugs sullenly. "She's been princess for a thousand years. No one in the country can imagine anyone else doing it, including her."
"Luna slotted in."
"Luna slotted in because Celestia told everypony to accept her. And you were the only reason she started actually doing things. And-. I don't think-. I don't think Celestia has any friends."
I nod. "It would be hard. Though perhaps that explains why she couldn't use the Elements of Harmony herself."
"Maybe. It's-. Do you think I'll end up like that? A thousand years…" She snorts quietly. "I'm going to live a thousand years. I didn't-. I mean, I just.. took life extension as part of the package, but I'm just now thinking 'I'm going to be here in a thousand years'."
"You'll probably have moved somewhere else by then. And this city will look very different in a thousand years. You'd probably barely recognise it."
"I'd be surprised if I even remember it in a thousand years."
"No, formative memories do tend to stick with you better."
"So… Right. She's bad for me, and I don't think I can teach someone like her to… How to change."
She looks up at me.
I frown. "What?"
18th January 2013
21:47 GMT
I walk into the Canterlot Palace dining room, prompting Celestia to look up at me.
"Grayven? Why are you here?"
"Sunset has… Is concerned about you, and has asked me to help."
"In what way?"
"I'm here to become friends."
14:33 GMT -7
"Yeah, I'm…" I knock gently on the door of Sunset's office in her school. "I'm going to talk to her now."
"Dids't you not notice her distress?"
"Well, yeah, but that's a fairly normal result of her talking to Celestia and she actually seemed less bad this time."
The ability to send telephonic communication through the portal without laying down a cable is an innovation of Sunset's… Though I don't know if she's going to be doing much else with it from now on.
"She warded the portal 'gainst our sister."
"Which is blooming impressive, if you think about it." I hear footsteps inside the office. "Alright, she's coming. I'll call you back."
"Be well, beloved."
"I'll-" Sunset opens the door. "-try. See you later."
I deactivate the phone and subspace it, smiling at Sunset as I do so.
She looks… I think I'd say 'resigned' more than anything. She doesn't meet my eyes to start with, the realises what she's doing and meets them, then realises what she's doing again and stops.
"Hey Grayven."
"You wanna talk about it?"
She sort of… Twitches.
"Is.. 'no'.. an option?"
"Yees. Not a good one. Not one I'd recommend, because… No one wants to deal with Nightmare Sunset… But if you tell me to, I'll go."
"'Nightmare Sunset'?" She steps away from the door and nods me inside. "That was the best you could come up with? It makes sense for Luna 'cause she used to spy on ponies when they sleep-"
I look at her pointedly. "'Guard their dreams against nightmares.'"
"-but I've never done anything like that. Would you call yourself 'Nightmare Grayven'?" She stops and frowns as I follow her into her office. "No, actually, that kinda works."
"I was thinking of 'Grayseid'."
"That works too. Damn it." She turns and sits on her desk. "So."
"'Thank you for being honest with me, and I never want to see you again'."
"Yeah. Yeah. Turns out, you were right the first time."
"It wouldn't have been the same. But I actually… Wasn't listening to your conversation. Can you..? Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"You know, it-. I used to complain about Celestia's friendship fixation. But I-. I mean, I… Get it, social relationships are important, I just-."
"What if the Elements were powered by something completely different? Would she have encouraged you to learn whatever that was?"
"No?" She blinks. "Though… I mean, yes, now. I don't know how she'd have-. If it was.. your rings or something-." She shakes her head. "No, it was-."
She takes a deep breath.
"Okay, so the Elements are loyalty, honesty, generosity, kindness and laughter. And those are what she was trying to teach me… Badly. Right?"
I nod.
"But she didn't tell me the truth about any of it. She banished me because I tried to find out the truth by myself and she lied about it. She lied about alicorn ascension, and she lied to and hid stuff from Twilight. And then… Loyalty? She's pretty loyal to Luna, but that… Basically meant that she was fine imperilling the whole country that was loyal to her because she cared more about her sister than the rest of us. And the same with Discord."
"And she exiled you when you were still loyal to her, just annoyed with her poor teaching methods."
"And the royal guards… She's been in fights and led armies before. She must have known that they were useless. And did you know that she invited Twilight and her five closest friends to the Grand Galloping Gala because she thought they'd make a mess of it? Hundreds of ponies were going there, and hundreds more worked hard to make everything work, and she deliberately ruined it because she was bored. She pranked Fluttershy when Philomena was dying-. Philomena's her pet phoenix. She just gets better when she dies. But she does stuff like that all the time!"
"And..?"
"She's a Princess. When she pranks people that's not a prank between equals. It's the-. It's the God-Queen of the country pranking someone. It's not like they could prank back, even if they could even think about pranking back, which they couldn't, because she's a God-Queen."
I nod sympathetically. "President Roosevelt was the same. One time, he ordered one of his bodyguards to go up a ladder onto a roof, then got someone to take the ladder away."
"Right! That's not friendly!" … "Is it?"
"No, it's not. So what you're saying is that she's not loyal, honest, generous or kind and that her sense of humour leaves a lot to be desired. So she might have been trying to teach you to be friendly, but what she actually showed you was…"
"The exact opposite. I didn't really… Think about it before. She… She taught me a lot, and it meant a lot, her taking time from running the country to teach me. Except, she… Doesn't really care about the country because-"
"Now hang-"
"-she put getting Luna back ahead of everything. And she taught me because she needed somepony to make that happen, which… Which would have been fine if she'd just told me what she wanted instead of dressing the whole thing up."
"-on. She didn't just quit when Luna came back, and she easily could have."
"And do what?" Sunset shrugs sullenly. "She's been princess for a thousand years. No one in the country can imagine anyone else doing it, including her."
"Luna slotted in."
"Luna slotted in because Celestia told everypony to accept her. And you were the only reason she started actually doing things. And-. I don't think-. I don't think Celestia has any friends."
I nod. "It would be hard. Though perhaps that explains why she couldn't use the Elements of Harmony herself."
"Maybe. It's-. Do you think I'll end up like that? A thousand years…" She snorts quietly. "I'm going to live a thousand years. I didn't-. I mean, I just.. took life extension as part of the package, but I'm just now thinking 'I'm going to be here in a thousand years'."
"You'll probably have moved somewhere else by then. And this city will look very different in a thousand years. You'd probably barely recognise it."
"I'd be surprised if I even remember it in a thousand years."
"No, formative memories do tend to stick with you better."
"So… Right. She's bad for me, and I don't think I can teach someone like her to… How to change."
She looks up at me.
I frown. "What?"
18th January 2013
21:47 GMT
I walk into the Canterlot Palace dining room, prompting Celestia to look up at me.
"Grayven? Why are you here?"
"Sunset has… Is concerned about you, and has asked me to help."
"In what way?"
"I'm here to become friends."
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Idkusername
Versed in the lewd.
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…
I'm at a loss for words. HAHAHA!
I'm at a loss for words. HAHAHA!
Darko
Connoisseur.
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Celestia: Sunset, I apologize for everything I have ever done to you that made you feel wronged! Now please get this lumbering lunatic away from me!
Renegade: Ohh, Celestia! You want to go out for ice cream!
Celestia: AAAHHH!!!
Darko
Connoisseur.
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The link in the spoiler box is missing this date.
Lord Ernest
At the End...
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Come on, I need to follow this more than that stealth mission to Reach space!!
Chojin Patriarch
Veteran Lurker
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An odd moment to cut away to the Renegade, but if it makes the amusement of Zartok's next scene better, I'm all for it. And I've no doubt Sunset is in need of some hugs after dealing with Celestia a week ago. Presumably a few things hit her hard after she thought about it...
I'm guessing a magical patch on both sides of the mirror gateway, acting via sympathetic resonance. What's more amusing is the image of Luna sitting there with a mobile phone on speaker (because her head is probably not a comfortable shape for regular handset use...) Or more likely floating. Wonder if she gets internet through it.
Sunset's certainly come a long way in a couple of human years.
Please, no attempted incinerations. The Renegade's just a bit too tough to burn...
And that's a long way up, no mater how tall Sunset is now.
Ah, one thing Grayven-16 would never be caught dead saying...
Now, now. It's not good to bottle things up, especially at your age. Besides, the Renegade's tough, he can handle a bit of cursing and slapping around.
Honestly, I'd have gone 'Duskbringer'. More fitting for sunset.
Edit: Okay, scratch that. she's 'Magic'. I would assume that leans more towards 'thaumaturgical study and analysis' than 'casual experimentation and instinct'...
Eh, sounds like a medication. Possibly for hyperactivity...
Oof. Blunt as ever, Sunset?
And not just for their magical system's ultimate artefacts. Because people...
There's an alternate universe idea: The Harmonious Elements of the Emotional Spectrum. Would suck to be the pony bearing Rage.
Indeed. Well-established backstory there.
And those things alone would have prevented her from using the Elements, yes.
Honestly, I can see the appeal. A thousand years of that stuff must get real played out real quick.
Hence the sheer shock people exhibited when they realised that yes, their god-queen does have entirely normal feelings...
I mean, the guy probably had a chuckle about it... Once he'd managed to get down off the roof.
Eh... She usually seemed upset when something threatened her 'little ponies'.
But telling you might have fouled up the process. We've been over this, haven't we?
...Not for a few years, anyway.
Given the typical lifespans of the ponies (under a century for Pegasi and Unicorns, maybe two or so for Earth ponies...) I suspect any friends she tried to make just... Evaporated in her memories.
...She says, to someone who spent an unknown - but certainly long - time in the Land of Summer's End.
At least, without some manner of memory enhancement spell.
...Where are you going with this?
...Cue smash cut to...
On two legs or four? Not that it really matters, does it?
Oh, boy... This promises all manner of hilarity...
Though, when you look at it, it does make sense. She needs more than a population of reverential mayflys...
Honestly, that's probably what Celestia needs now. A peer, an equal, who can talk to her when she needs succour, or cuff her upside the ear when she's being foolish. Like a good friend should be willing to do. And if he's serious about Luna, then they'll have to learn to get along as more than 'my brother-/sister-in-law'. This plot bunny holds much promise...
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moralrelativity
Recovering pendant.
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Use of the past tense here feels odd to me because it's really a statement about the present. So
told -> tell
I'd -> I'll
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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Thank you, corrected.
And Celestia.
No, Twilight is friendship. Sunset is magic. This was already covered.
Thank you, corrected.Me said:
WereDragon
Bookwyrm
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Not a twist I was expecting.
…still have no sympathy for Sunset. Melodramatic teen is angry at her mother for not being perfect, news at 11.
Did she never get the update about Grayven spending centuries(~ish) in the future?
DAT_NOOB
Accused of writing in a far away land
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But I thought Friendship was Magic?
I mean... I'd say this goes a far cry from being "not-perfect" but then I'm not a Brony so IDK what actual canon says.
Sceptic
Critical Irrationalist
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And Sunset finally manages to prank Celestia back.
Handlewithcare
Versed in the lewd.
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Luna: Tis most impressive
Discord: I agree. Not even I ever came up with torture so subtle and exquisite
Sunset: Come on guys, it's not that bad
Twilight, storms in: THE TREE OF HARMONY JUST CAUGHT FIRE! WHAT DID YOU DO???
Sunset: ...Okay, maybe it is
Traditionally accelerated friendships between protagonistd are formed by going on an adventure together. This should be fun.
Discord: I agree. Not even I ever came up with torture so subtle and exquisite
Sunset: Come on guys, it's not that bad
Twilight, storms in: THE TREE OF HARMONY JUST CAUGHT FIRE! WHAT DID YOU DO???
Sunset: ...Okay, maybe it is
Traditionally accelerated friendships between protagonistd are formed by going on an adventure together. This should be fun.
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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TodaBruh
Fiction is life's spice <(￣︶￣)↗
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The beat and worst thing that could happen to her. Treat it as getting to know the in-laws.
iamnuff
Connoisseur.
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... To be fair, while a little bit mean, it's nowhere near the scale of 'haha, I'm going to convince you that your pet is dying.'
I've never heard of that story-beat before, but it sounds genuinely sociopathic.
mastermenthe
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I would think that fantastical pranks require a fantastical world.
Could a fantastical world lead to social acceptance of fantastical pranks?
It's tedious to determine just how much tge baseline mundanity of a given world affects the acceptability of pranks within that world.
Pinklestia
Well worn.
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Oh this is good.
Yeah turns out Celestia is not actually a good pony.
Yeah turns out Celestia is not actually a good pony.
iamnuff
Connoisseur.
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'fantastical' is not the issue here. The fact that the pet was a magic firebird or a tiny dragon would be irrelevant.
What matters is that an adult authority figure convinced a child that their pet was dying when it wasn't.
That will alway be fucked up. Regardless of context.
DAT_NOOB
Accused of writing in a far away land
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Eh, An argument could be made that once you break magic down to math to make sense of it it's no longer magic but math therefore what Sunset is referring to as 'magic' is in fact just really complicated math.
mastermenthe
Mint Thistle
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Friendship is also math.
Admittedly, it has more in common with logistics engineering than with statistical modeling...
Oh.
Twilight was the engineer of the two all along.
Sunset was the scientist of the two all along!!!
Doccer
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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I can hear the stress in that word!
The final quote in your post there has a name "Me" and no arrow to return to whomever alerted you to the correction. Why is there no arrow? And why is there post doing the correction?
WereDragon
Bookwyrm
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Oh Celestia is a total screw-up* but that doesn't begin to justify the level of irrational hatred Sunset displays. Which even at the "'Thank you for being honest with me, and I never want to see you again'." stage manifested as banishing Celestia from the planet.
Sunset continues to act like a petulant child throwing a tantrum because the world doesn't conform to her desires.
* Which makes total sense. Celestia is not an isekai. She has no divine wisdom. She is a medieval peasant who got elevated to being a god-queen for slaying a monster, then had her only family go insane and betray her. And spent the next thousand years trying, with commendable success, to fulfil her responsibility of make a happy and prosperous civilisation on a magic fantasy deathworld.
Did she have time to refresh her education periodically while running a country? Probably not.
Did she have anyone she could look to for emotional/spiritual guidance? Probably not.
Did she have anyone willing and able to offer criticism who wasn't evil and or insane? Probably not.
And yet people continue to expect Celestia to be perfect and all knowing.
1) Philomena is Celestia's pet, not Fluttershy's.
2) Fluttershy kidnapped Philomena (to heal her). She didn't ask what was wrong with the bird and in fact deliberately tried to keep Celestia from knowing about the situation.
3) Philomena is a sapient creature and Fluttershy's thing is understanding animals.
4) The only part of the prank Celestia can be said to have done was being a bit slow and dramatic in telling her pet to knock it off and stop playing dead.