14th March
15:02 GMT -5
I frown at Director Armstrong in genuine puzzlement.
"I'm sorry, what?"
Her jaw is somewhat tense, though less tense than it was a moment ago when she thought this mess might be of my instigation. "They're claiming Apokoliptian citizenship."
"Yeees, that's the part I don't understand."
A man whose identification tag marks him as coming from the organisation's legal branch shifts some notes on his holopad before returning his attention to me.
"You said in front of the Senate committee that Apokolips claimed ownership of the Earth, with you as their… 'Suzerain'."
I groan inwardly.
"You can confirm that you haven't offered anyone Apokoliptian citizenship?"
"I can
indeed."
"Is there anyone else on Earth who could?"
"Apokolips doesn't even
have citizenship.
I'm not an Apokoliptian citizen in any legal sense.
Knockout isn't an Apokoliptian citizen. Anyone claiming to be an Apokoliptian citizen clearly doesn't know anything about Apokoliptian society."
"Is there an
equivalent title or.. level of social standing?"
"N
o." I shake my head. "The modern notion of 'citizenship' comes from the idea that the right to rule comes from the consent of the governed. That people have rights and responsibilities to the state as a whole derived from their participation in it. Apokolips… Doesn't have that."
"So what does a person have to do to have rights on Apokolips?"
I don't immediately respond. He looks up, and I try and communicate with expression alone exactly how mistaken he's been in his choice of barking tree.
"There are no rights."
"I thought Apokolips was feudal with super powers. Aristocrats have rights and responsibilities in feudal states."
"
Yes, because the monarch is usually first among equals, and a sufficiently large group of major nobles could overthrow them. That's where the Magna Carta comes from. That doesn't
work on Apokolips-" Except briefly under Queen Heggra. "-because in an arena fight between Darkseid and everyone else -even allowing the 'everyone else' team to punch voodoo dolls so they didn't get in each other's way- Darkseid would still win. That makes for a
very different social structure."
"Is that how it works? There's Darkseid, then everyone else?"
"No, there's… Four or five layers..? It sort of depends on how you look at it. If this… What was his name again?"
"Lincoln Burns. He's a.. musician, with a history of, ah… Shall we say 'creative' tax dodges."
"Right. If he somehow appeared on Apokolips, he'd be a Lowlie."
"Is that the equivalent of being a blue collar worker?"
"No. A blue collar worker, someone with an employer who valued their input and would miss them if they vanished, would be a level up. Lowlies are a step down from slaves."
"A step d-. How does
that work?"
"Apokolips has the technology to become a traditionally post-scarcity civilisation. The only reason we're not is that we
chose not to be. We don't need the labour of blue collar workers, or a working class, or semi-skilled labourers, or whatever you want to call them. Historically, in human civilisations, serfs have protection under the law, even if they have little freedom. Slaves had legal protection in some societies, and in those where they didn't they at least had financial value. Lowlies have no value. They're considered worthless, barely useful as a group for the power their misery provides to people like Darkseid. And I
know that the moment he finds a better way to do it he'll have them all killed."
I shrug.
"Or just completely ignore them."
"And… Up from them?"
"Soldiers, mostly. A few Lowlies who survived long enough to become distinguishably useful to their betters. A group with useful applications. Occasionally, one even gains sufficient power to join the Elite… Canis Major is the only one I can immediately call to mind, but it does happen."
"And then?"
"The Elite. Awakened individuals like myself powerful enough to have specific uses. Darkseid's inner circle exists on a continuum with the rest of the class, but they have enough Elite under their command that you
could count them as a separate group."
"But they don't have rights either."
"No. There are… Alliances, levels of favour… Open fighting is discouraged because it's distracting and tends to spread, but complete peace is discouraged as well. There are social
conventions, but nothing as potent as 'rights' or 'laws'."
"And the top level?"
"The autocrat. Darkseid at the moment. Yuga Khan before him. Monstrously powerful individuals who define the purpose of our society."
"Okay, and what sort of
tax rates do these levels pay?"
I lean back in my chair, my right hand covering my face.
"None. There isn't-. There are
tribute payments in some cases, but there's no standard rate of income that people are obliged to hand over. Most people don't have any income it would be
possible to tax."
"So there isn't a tax rate."
"
No, there isn't a tax rate. Lowlies don't have-.
No one on Apokolips has property rights."
"But he can't be a legal citizen of Apokolips."
"
Correct."
"Are there any Apokoliptians on Earth who might tell him or his lawyers otherwise?"
"I
know all the Apokoliptians on Earth. It wasn't Knockout; she works for me. My brother wouldn't, my sister-in-law wouldn't, then it's just Kanto -who wouldn't bother- and-."
Uh.
"What's his lawyer's name?"
He checks his notes again.
"Simon Leas."
Oh for
fuck's sake. The
one Apokoliptian I decided to ignore because he was beneath my contempt.
"And they want to make representations to me about intervening on their behalf with the IRS?"
"That's about the size of it."
"Okay, got a solution. Invite them for a discussion at Challenger Mountain and we'll handle this under Apokoliptian law."
Director Armstrong scowls. "Why the hell should we do that?"
14th March
18:02 GMT -6
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
I don't waste time looking at the autodefecating Mr Burns as Knockout holds him up by his shirt, instead focusing my attention on the cowering
Sleez. As an Elite Apokoliptian himself, disciplining him myself is 'officially' worth my time. Mr Burns is a Lowlie who drew the attention of his betters.
I grab Sleez around his chest and
squeeze until his morphomagic generator fails and he's forcibly returned to his true, goblinoid form.
"'Apokoliptian Citizenship'? Have you been gone so long that you've forgotten how we
do things you
vile worm?"
Honesty. Integrity. Directness. Openness.
"Hey! You can't-!"
Knockout takes her right hand off his shirt and slaps him hard enough to send him flying into the wall. Though she's restrained enough to avoid doing lasting harm.
"Silence before your betters, Lowlie."
"You
drew my attention, Sleez. And I am going to remind you why you
shouldn't have done that."
You're serious?