Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
- 17,723
Thank you, corrected.There were some mistakes, like you wrote 'With could start' when it should be 'We could start'
'how to feel' should be 'how do you feel'
Thank you, corrected.There were some mistakes, like you wrote 'With could start' when it should be 'We could start'
'how to feel' should be 'how do you feel'
Oh I'm dumb lol, I just saw the opportunity for the masturbation joke and I took it.
Let me guess, Themysciran Greek for Spider-Lover?12th April
13:02 GMT +3
"Ho, Arachneros! Did they throw you out?"
Ah, one of the Amazons involved in Johnny Sorrow's attack on the Royal Vaults. The one who get fused into a mirror, yes?I turn at the sound of Zosime's voice, and raise my right hand in greeting as she marches down the street towards me.
"No, but since the whole point of coming here is to get King Orin and King Cyprian to come to understand one another's state of mind, I felt that my ongoing presence was at best a distraction."
Taking advantage of her transformation, eh? I bet she's gotten some attention because of it.She comes to a halt just before me, and I notice that her civilian clothing is cut to show off as much of her reflective skin as it can without passing beyond what Amazons consider 'polite' clothing.
Okay, who told the Amazons about his little 'indiscretion' in Vega? Did OL tell the story himself offscreen at some festival, and people jumped to conclusions because Eris?"And at worst?"
"I'd appear to be a threat by one party to the other. And 'arachneros'? Really?"
And besides, he thought it was a spiracle. She didn't say anything about it before he went diving in!She makes an amused snorting noise, raises her right fist with her index and middle fingers extended and then curves them.
"Okay, one, her genital slit isn't the right shape for that to do anything, two, she's got one on each side, so-"
Wouldn't do to leave a lady unsatisfied, and we know OL takes that sort of thing seriously.I raise both fists, both index and middle fingers extended.
"-you'd want both hands or you'd leave half of her wanting-"
I'm guessing spider-guild mating doesn't involve a lot of motion...Zosime doubles over, wracked by silent hysteria.
"-and three, with the size difference it's really more-"
I clench my fists and punch with my right fist while drawing my left back. Then I punch with my left while withdrawing my right. Right forwards left back, left back right forward.
And yet he's clearly had quite some though put into the matter, just in case?A small crowd is beginning to congregate, and those closest are giggling and whispering explanations to those further back.
"-like that. And anyway, I wouldn't want to claim the title based on a single encounter."
A lady who takes control of matters, eh? I fear for the being who can keep up with her..."Wha-? Whe-? When do you think you should g-g-get it?"
"When she invites me back having sent her attendants out of the room and having arranged for eggsitters and grubsitters to look after her offspring, and I walk in to find her pre-lubricated with decorative lace negligee covering her thorax."
Ah, he was playing it for laughs... I hope Eris is paying attention. This is exactly the sort of thing she wants him doing. I mean, does he still have the Anti-Scrying tattoos on, or at least added an exception for her? Then again, she can probably see the commotion he's causing.Zosime is still silently guffawing, but now she moues and a faint moaning sound emerges as I lean closer.
"And now perhaps you've learned better than to try and embarrass a discordian."
...Dang spoilers in thread... Now I'm wondering just how human-like the next generation of Spider-Guild looks."Yes. Learned."
I straighten up.
"Because let me tell you, our last meeting was purely professional. She's doing well, her branch of the Guild is doing well, and there are absolutely no drider babies."
Oh, you have got to get the ladies hooked on D&D. Tell them it's like play-acting the tales of heroes. I bet they'd go in for a much more detailed combat system than the normal game, though...Zosime pulls herself upright and makes an effort to compose herself.
"Drider?"
They're definitely one for the leg-lovers. Of course, there's boy driders too, for the ladies."Like a centaur, but rather than having horse-parts-."
Her eyes widen, her mouth wobbles and she raises her right hand. "N-no, no, I can picture it."
And now I'm wondering if he's playing oblivious for laughs here, just to troll them harder."Of course, it's not like I'm the only one. When I visited, I found out that they-. I don't know if they were paying customers, or if it was a mutual interest thing, but there were several people more directly engaged than I was, and without my excuse."
She looks at me in disbelief.
"There..?"
Oh, god no. I mean, sure, some xenophiles might go that far..."I mean, okay, sailors, but given that most of them had mixed sex crews they clearly had alternatives."
"Do the..? Male spiders look like..?
Keep in mind, they do look like spiders who walk upright. Not even close to any Human standard of attractiveness... Except maybe the aforementioned Xenophiles...I generate a life size construct of a regular Guilder.
"Like that."
I know, right?One of the women on the crowd takes a step closer, peering at it in clear distaste.
"With-? With that? Why would anyone knowingly do such a thing?"
Oh-ho, some xenophiles in the crowd, I see? I wonder, Dryads, or Naiads? Or where they after a more heterosexual experience. What's the earthen equivalent of a Dryad?"Really?" I gaze at her levelly. She returns my gaze, giving her head a small shake. "You've been on this island for three thousand years, and you've never even considered looking for a companion who isn't a human woman?"
A couple of women in the crowd look away, while I walk closer to the spider-sceptic and lay my right arm over her shoulder.
"Because if so, as a disciple of Eris, I feel obliged to help you out. With could start with a member of another humanoid species, or someone totally non-corporeal? Or how to you feel about automata?"
That gets a slightly larger portion of the crowd shuffling. Even I've heard the jokes about how popular 'demi-automata massage aids' have become, and I'm hardly ever here. I'm pretty sure that Philippus was blushing when she asked me about getting Themyscira's power grid set up.
Suuuure you are. But maybe one of them would like to spice things up? Cosmetics, perhaps? Temporary prosthetics? OL can arrange it.I donated a bleed torsion generator to the cause.
The sceptic brushes my arm off.
"I'm perfectly happy with my wives, thank you. And-"
Possibly the first time an Amazon has had that pulled on them, except maybe involving Diana.My ring blinks.
"-I am not-."
"I'm very sorry." I raise my ring so that it's more obvious. "I need to take this. Answer."
Ah, now this is the sort of fun the Amazons can get behind. And in front of. Sort of all-round cuddling, really. OL really needs to invite the princesses here sometime... I suspect they'd be quite popular.The Guilder construct is replaced by a full-sized image of Koriand'r, in traditional Tamaranian dress. That gets more than a few appreciative looks from the Themysciran women.
"Lantern Koriand'r, what can I do for you?"
She smiles at me.
"Illustres. I have… A situation which I think you would want me to bring to your attention."
"Okay, thank you for your consideration. What is-"
Oh, that can't be easy. She's not one for taking on small problems, is she?She looks at something slightly out of shot.
"-it?"
"I have been trying to improve relations between the Queen of the Spider Guild and the rest of Vega. It is.. difficult, but I will maintain the peace."
Good thing OL has total control of his metabolism, some men would faint dead away at that sort of thing."I'm glad to hear it."
"But the Queen-."
Something, a small Guilder, jumps onto her shoulders and peers in the direction of the 'camera'.
"Daddy?!"
Not gonna lie tho, now that I think about it a "Paul adopts a spider-Lynne" arc would be really interesting. You don't see humans adopting non-humanoid aliens much in Sci-Fi, so it would be an interesting avenue to explore. Like, sure you can find a Tamaranian baby cute, it's basically a human baby with orange skin. But can you find a tarantula baby cute?
Where is this coming from? Why does leaning closer make her moan?Zosime is still silently guffawing, but now she moues and a faint moaning sound emerges as I lean closer.
Information just wants to be free... And, after all, DNA is information...
I wonder how much effort Paul is putting into learning magic. I know that it would take years to decades to get anything meaningful, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and he has every reason to think he has time.....at this point, Eris has to give Paul a significant blessing of some kind (like Helios gave Kon), because Paul is basically a Lord of Chaos without even trying.
Not as hard as you might think, depending on the species.Oh I'm dumb lol, I just saw the opportunity for the masturbation joke and I took it.
Not gonna lie tho, now that I think about it a "Paul adopts a spider-Lynne" arc would be really interesting. You don't see humans adopting non-humanoid aliens much in Sci-Fi, so it would be an interesting avenue to explore. Like, sure you can find a Tamaranian baby cute, it's basically a human baby with orange skin. But can you find a tarantula baby cute?
All she would need is some of his DNA. They have the tech for that level of genetic engineering.
Paul: But....I only gave her a massage!
Amazons: *Dying of laughter in the background* Arachneros indeed! Does Euanthe need to be worried?
Eris: All according to plan.
Chaos Worshippers: SASUGA Paul-Sama!
12th April
13:02 GMT +3
"Ho, Arachneros! Did they throw you out?"
I turn at the sound of Zosime's voice, and raise my right hand in greeting as she marches down the street towards me.
"No, but since the whole point of coming here is to get King Orin and King Cyprian to come to understand one another's state of mind, I felt that my ongoing presence was at best a distraction."
She comes to a halt just before me, and I notice that her civilian clothing is cut to show off as much of her reflective skin as it can without passing beyond what Amazons consider 'polite' clothing.
"And at worst?"
"I'd appear to be a threat by one party to the other. And 'arachneros'? Really?"
She makes an amused snorting noise, raises her right fist with her index and middle fingers extended and then curves them.
"Okay, one, her genital slit isn't the right shape for that to do anything, two, she's got one on each side, so-"
I raise both fists, both index and middle fingers extended.
"-you'd want both hands or you'd leave half of her wanting-"
Zosime doubles over, wracked by silent hysteria.
"-and three, with the size difference it's really more-"
I clench my fists and punch with my right fist while drawing my left back. Then I punch with my left while withdrawing my right. Right forwards left back, left back right forward.
A small crowd is beginning to congregate, and those closest are giggling and whispering explanations to those further back.
"-like that. And anyway, I wouldn't want to claim the title based on a single encounter."
"Wha-? Whe-? When do you think you should g-g-get it?"
"When she invites me back having sent her attendants out of the room and having arranged for eggsitters and grubsitters to look after her offspring, and I walk in to find her pre-lubricated with decorative lace negligee covering her thorax."
Zosime is still silently guffawing, but now she moues and a faint moaning sound emerges as I lean closer.
"And now perhaps you've learned better than to try and embarrass a discordian."
"Yes. Learned."
I straighten up.
"Because let me tell you, our last meeting was purely professional. She's doing well, her branch of the Guild is doing well, and there are absolutely no drider babies."
Zosime pulls herself upright and makes an effort to compose herself.
"Drider?"
"Like a centaur, but rather than having horse-parts-."
Her eyes widen, her mouth wobbles and she raises her right hand. "N-no, no, I can picture it."
"Of course, it's not like I'm the only one. When I visited, I found out that they-. I don't know if they were paying customers, or if it was a mutual interest thing, but there were several people more directly engaged than I was, and without my excuse."
She looks at me in disbelief.
"There..?"
"I mean, okay, sailors, but given that most of them had mixed sex crews they clearly had alternatives."
"Do the..? Male spiders look like..?
I generate a life size construct of a regular Guilder.
"Like that."
One of the women on the crowd takes a step closer, peering at it in clear distaste.
"With-? With that? Why would anyone knowingly do such a thing?"
"Really?" I gaze at her levelly. She returns my gaze, giving her head a small shake. "You've been on this island for three thousand years, and you've never even considered looking for a companion who isn't a human woman?"
A couple of women in the crowd look away, while I walk closer to the spider-sceptic and lay my right arm over her shoulder.
"Because if so, as a disciple of Eris, I feel obliged to help you out. We could start with a member of another humanoid species, or someone totally non-corporeal? Or how do you feel about automata?"
That gets a slightly larger portion of the crowd shuffling. Even I've heard the jokes about how popular 'demi-automata massage aids' have become, and I'm hardly ever here. I'm pretty sure that Philippus was blushing when she asked me about getting Themyscira's power grid set up.
I donated a bleed torsion generator to the cause.
The sceptic brushes my arm off.
"I'm perfectly happy with my wives, thank you. And-"
My ring blinks.
"-I am not-."
"I'm very sorry." I raise my ring so that it's more obvious. "I need to take this. Answer."
The Guilder construct is replaced by a full-sized image of Koriand'r, in traditional Tamaranian dress. That gets more than a few appreciative looks from the Themysciran women.
"Lantern Koriand'r, what can I do for you?"
She smiles at me.
"Illustres. I have… A situation which I think you would want me to bring to your attention."
"Okay, thank you for your consideration. What is-"
She looks at something slightly out of shot.
"-it?"
"I have been trying to improve relations between the Queen of the Spider Guild and the rest of Vega. It is.. difficult, but I will maintain the peace."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"But the Queen-."
Something, a small Guilder, jumps onto her shoulders and peers in the direction of the 'camera'.
"Daddy?!"
ooooooooh no..... he's gonna regret his former line of conversation!
this is going to spread like wildfire, and....
i have a good feeling that within a few weeks, literally nobody will remember the "cake man" incident, and he'll be missing the good old days of being complimented on his dancing....
Joltik, Galvantula
Could be a groan of concern or disappointment considering the associated facial expression.Where is this coming from? Why does leaning closer make her moan?
Mr Zoat the word you want is "Arachnoerastis"
Well... Yes. If she literally said 'spider fucker' the ring would have translated it. It's not supposed to make good linguistic sense, it's a nickname, combining his love of the octopedal form with his own name suffix.Mr Zoat the word you want is "Arachnoerastis"
which is a compound word made from arachni (spider) + erastis (lover).
What you had written is practically meaningless to any greek speaker but as a direct translation could be interpreted as "spider love" and not "spider lover" as was your goal.
No what I am saying is as a native speaker what she said made no sense, the reaction of any greek to what she said would be "eh?"Well... Yes. If she literally said 'spider fucker' the ring would have translated it. It's not supposed to make good linguistic sense, it's a nickname, combining his love of the octopedal form with his own name suffix.
Paul in particular has orange light enlightenment and practice altering his own brain. So for him specifically: easy! If he wants to he will, natural reaction be damned.Oh I'm dumb lol, I just saw the opportunity for the masturbation joke and I took it.
Not gonna lie tho, now that I think about it a "Paul adopts a spider-Lynne" arc would be really interesting. You don't see humans adopting non-humanoid aliens much in Sci-Fi, so it would be an interesting avenue to explore. Like, sure you can find a Tamaranian baby cute, it's basically a human baby with orange skin. But can you find a tarantula baby cute?
To be clear when I say anything meaningful. I mean "something that he can't already do far more easily with his power ring". DC has plenty of examples of people picking up a spellbook and casting out of it immediately generally a mess up, but actual results.I wonder how much effort Paul is putting into learning magic. I know that it would take years to decades to get anything meaningful, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and he has every reason to think he has time.
What would the ring do if someone uses a word that has no direct translation in another language or encounters someone who speaks like Darmok from Tanagra?Well... Yes. If she literally said 'spider fucker' the ring would have translated it. It's not supposed to make good linguistic sense, it's a nickname, combining his love of the octopedal form with his own name suffix.
Advantage of an orange ring: if you want to, you can find anything cute.Not gonna lie tho, now that I think about it a "Paul adopts a spider-Lynne" arc would be really interesting. You don't see humans adopting non-humanoid aliens much in Sci-Fi, so it would be an interesting avenue to explore. Like, sure you can find a Tamaranian baby cute, it's basically a human baby with orange skin. But can you find a tarantula baby cute?
Lincoln at Gettysburg. Caterpillar on his flower.What would the ring do if someone uses a word that has no direct translation in another language or encounters someone who speaks like Darmok from Tanagra?