With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Darko · May 22, 2022

dxdragon said:
And don't forget about Spider Prober!

It' actually Mini-Beast, the Spider Fucker.

Bigking321 · May 22, 2022

I like the eagle.

Hopefully someone that will make appearances in the future.

Chojin Patriarch · May 22, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
7th November 2012
09:46 GMT -5

"F-eh."

The eagle's head darts left and right, fascinated Americans careful to keep out of potential lunge-distance but none the less forming a huddle of street-theatre appreciation. We're walking the streets of Washington to see if he can pick anything up. Or rather, I am while he rides along on a construct perch. So far he hasn't got a dickybird.

Though he is something of a dick of a bird. It's not surprising that he's not picked up the scent though, the real Sam is probably a long way from there. Still, providing some entertainment is always a bonus.

"What?"

"What's that smell?"

When was the last time you visited the waking world, bird-brain? My guess would be he can smell the exhaust fumes of the cars with untainted nostrils.

"How old are you?"

"I was here to greet the first European settlers." He ruffles his wings. "My cries echoing out across the bay, welcoming them to a land where men might stand tall."

The inspiring 'sqwark' of a typical Bald Eagle? That's right, folks. They overdub the far more impressive-sounding cry of a Red-tailed Hawk over in films and TV, because Reality Is Unrealistic...

"Funny, I don't remember Leif Erikson mentioning that."

He swivels his head towards me. "Who?"

Oh, right, he's a zeitgeist of the American Eagle, not the real thing. So he probably would sound like people imagine it to. And knows the history of 'Vinland' about as well.

I roll my eyes, and he goes back to watching for… Whatever eagelic manifestations of American Freedom watch for. "I mean, compared to the older American cities, I don't believe that Washington DC smells that bad."

"Are you talking about shit?"

Also something of an illusion people believe. 'Old places stank of shit' and the like? Probably not all that accurate. Horse droppings? Maybe. Human droppings, not so much...

"Shit, sweat, the unwashed masses with limited access to sanitation. Things like that."

"I'm an eagle. I don't care about human shit. Unless there's blood it in."

One thing old paintings, photographs and films can't capture: The smell of people en-masse.

"Why, what's..?"

"Well, I wouldn't kill a human, but if they're going to die anyway there's no point wasting the meat."

Sure you'd want to eat meat that might be poisonous?

"Ah… Just… Let me know if you smell… Human blood like that while I'm here."

"You want some?"

Thankfully, OL isn't that kind of Humanitarian.

"No, but I'm willing to trade American food for the opportunity to get people medical attention."

"Deal."

Bird-boy gets fed either way, so no fluff off his beak.

"So… Do you have a name, or are you just The Eagle of Freedom?"

"That's not a name, that's a title." He points his wing out in what can't be a natural gesture for an eagle. "What's over that way?"

Can't call him Sam, that'd get too confusing. How about Roger?

"About a quarter of the city? In a direct line…" Fiddlesticks. "The White House, where Uncle Sam is currently visiting."

"Sam doesn't smell like that."

Well, that's two data points about the present Uncle Sam being 'fake'. If he can get three, that takes it from Coincidence to Enemy Action.

"Well, maybe…" I take another look at the crowd. A few people are just following us along, creating an obstacle for the traffic as we go. "Don't talk about it where other people might hear that and report back?"

"Oh, no. None of these people can hear me. I'm a spirit animal."

Well, shit. At least no-one's been hearing their distinct commentary on Modern America.

So they've been recording me talking to an eagle… Acting like I was having a conversation with an eagle-.

"Okay, but they can see you, can't they?"

Don't worry, OL. I doubt this will ever displace 'Cake-Man' as a nickname in the American public's consciousness...

"Of course they can see me, I'm a giant bald eagle. Did you think they were seeing a budgie?"

"I don't know, you're a spirit animal. Last time I dealt with a spirit animal for any length of time, it was a construct enslaved to my ring. And it died."

Dangit, OL, why'd you have to remind us about Teekl?

"Yes, they all see a huge and glorious eagle, and they feel just a bit more proud and liberated. That's why they're following us."

"No, I think that's more of a 'follow the fuckhead' thing. We're street theatre."

I think most of them are waiting for something to explode. That also seems to be a common occurrence around you.

"No, I'm pressing their cultural buttons and making their spirits resonate with the soul of the nation." He spreads his wings and poses for the crowd. "Feel my American spirit!"

"You said they can't understand you."

...I'd be more worried if any of them could.

"No, I said they can't understand what I'm saying."

"I could set my rings to translate for you, if you want."

Complete with your choice of dubbed voice!

"This is a spiritual journey for you. It's not supposed to be for everyone."

"Like A-."

I don't think you're going to turn OL into a red-blooded American guy...

"Yes like America. Everyone has a chance to soar, everyone has a chance to plummet to their death because they misjudged a thermal. Do you see a parachute on my back?"

"No."

Would you like one? I'm sure OL could fabricate something that'd fit.

"No. That's right. And speaking of America, where's the Japanese embassy?"

"Massachusetts Avenue. Why?"

Ah, looking to consult with a certain ex-pat embodiment?

"Not a lot of Shinto shrines around here, but there should be one in the embassy."

I frown. "I can just fly us to-."

If you were about to say 'Japan', I would ask whether Roger there would cease to exist corporeally if you left the bounds of American territory...

He flaps his wings as if to demonstrate his vigour. "I'm not a cripple, I'm just inclined to preserve my energy. It's a wild predator thing."

I pick up the perch and fly towards the embassy, to the pronounced disappointment of the crowd. "You mean lazy."

Living up to the average American, then? ...

I kid, I kid.

"It's instinctual."

"Why do we need a Shinto shrine?"

Well, who put you onto this sub-plot, OL? Plus, you can check on how Susano-o-no-mikoto is going with Shazam...

"I know Lady Liberty 'diversified her portfolio', and I need to talk to her."

"Will she understand what you're saying?"

...Consider who you're talking to, OL. Just because she moved overseas, doesn't mean she stopped being American.

"Of course she'll understand what I'm saying. We're part of the same pantheon, even if she has jumped ship."

"And you're not upset about that?"

Pfft. She got the job she wants, not the job she could get.

"It's not easy being a spiritual manifestation in a monotheistic country. Besides, the Japanese could use some personal liberty."

"I'm pretty sure they've got liberty."

...Eh. The American idea probably isn't really a good fit with the Japanese national character.

"No, the doors open, but their minds are stuck in their pens. You know?"

"I know what you mean, but I'm not sure you're right."

And I'm not sure if that's going to piss anyone off. So let's agree not to argue?

"Let me know when you become a spirit animal."

I stop in the air and stare at him, my human body retreating and my snake body coming to the fore.

Chicken, please. His soul is a snake. Your argument is invalid.

"Like now?"

"Ooooh I just guanoed myself. Okay. Spirit snake animal. Yeah."

Well, if you made a mess, you'll be cleaning it up, Roger.

"Right. I've just got a job."

"I have a job. And when I find him I'm going to peck Uncle Sam in the face until he gets back to doing his."

That depends on which one you find.

Man, what are people gonna think when they see this on the 'Tubes? I can't help but imagine some of the Leaguers are going to end up laughing their arse off when they watch it. And in Plastic Man's case, I mean that literally. The rest will probably just be confused as hell, even after they read OL's report. And it is going to be a doozy, I bet.

B00ki5h · May 22, 2022

Ngamer11 said:
How many people are recording this? Will people start wondering why other Lanterns don't seemingly shapeshift into animals like Paul? Also, I love seeing Paul taking spiritual beings down a peg like this.

"Well they can and they cannot. Each Lantern Core is tied to an emotion and it's representative spirt animal."

"So what do the greens turn into?"

"If they have communed with and are accepted by Ion; fish."

"The others?"

"Red cows, yellow bugs, blue birds, indigo cephalopods, and violet well you ever see the movie Alien?"

Darko · May 22, 2022

Chojin Patriarch said:
One thing old paintings, photographs and films can't capture: The smell of people en-masse.

Yes, those paintings of people in the past may be beautiful but if you ended up in that period then you're stuck in a time where people didn't bathe as much.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Sure you'd want to eat meat that might be poisonous?

Hrs a spirit animal, so he should be fine.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Dangit, OL, why'd you have to remind us about Teekl

Because he's an evil cat killer.

Chojin Patriarch said:
Complete with your choice of dubbed voice!

I'm still imagining him sounding like Norm MacDonald.

Chojin Patriarch said:
don't think you're going to turn OL into a red-blooded American guy

I gotta wonder what the process for that is and if there is a magical process then does it involve replacing his blood.

Chojin Patriarch said:
If you were about to say 'Japan', I would ask whether Roger there would cease to exist corporeally if you left the bounds of American territory

Lady Liberty seems to be able to, so he may also be able.

Signaller · May 22, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
So Many Ways to Die.

I think you mean Dumb Ways to Die?

Old Knife · May 22, 2022

Kek does this mean that Alan has a blue bird form?
Or Guy has a green Ionform?

ChestBurster · May 22, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
I stop in the air and stare at him, my human body retreating and my snake body coming to the fore.

"Like now?"

"Ooooh I just guanoed myself. Okay. Spirit snake animal. Yeah."

I lol'ed.

Nice to see the snake soul form being utilized here. I'm down for a sophont animal team up in the future if it's in the cards.
Also a little bit of irony with an eagle being scared by a snake, their usual prey.

Darko · May 22, 2022

B00ki5h said:
Well they can and they cannot. Each Lantern Core is tied to an emotion and it's representative spirt animal."

"So what do the greens turn into?"

"If they have communed with and are accepted by Ion; fish."

Technically they'd turn into a mammal.

LazySloth13 · May 22, 2022

There has to be some fan-site or blog that follows OL and the various heroes, and depending on whether the people following Paul and Eagle are recording them talk, because nothing gets attention then a weird/'controversial' hero like OL walking through Washington with a giant Eagle looking for Uncle Sam. Or that the personification of Lady Liberty exists and left America to join the Japanese pantheon.

Depending on how far things escalate Paul might wind up doing another talk show visit to explain why he was in Washington because a fake Uncle Sam was possibly influencing the officials who guide the nation's future.

Impartial Panic · May 22, 2022

Yeah don't mind baldy he's a bit out of touch.

"Wait you can understand what he's saying?"

Of course I can understand him after all...

<Don't you say it!>

Bird is the word.

"What?"

B00ki5h · May 22, 2022

Darko said:
Technically they'd turn into a mammal.

Look at the tail vertical(Fish) rather than horizontal(Mammal)

Pinklestia · May 22, 2022

Ah si Paul has accepted he is the mini greed snake.

Mr Zoat · May 22, 2022

Handlewithcare said:
You know, I like the Freedom Pidgeon.

I'm feeling very patriotic right now, while not even being american.

Who's the lucky country?

Chojin Patriarch said:
The inspiring 'sqwark' of a typical Bald Eagle? That's right, folks. They overdub the far more impressive-sounding cry of a Red-tailed Hawk over in films and TV, because Reality Is Unrealistic...

Sure you'd want to eat meat that might be poisonous?

Predatory species are generally pretty resistant to things like that, and have poor senses of taste.

Signaller said:
I think you mean Dumb Ways to Die?

Yes.

MaximilianShade · May 22, 2022

MIG2551 said:
Hello, I made this offline story compilation as a project to learn Python. I did it using FanFicFare as a base. It is in HTML to make coding easier and to maintain the original format; however, I was unable to include images.

With This Ring-Mr Zoat.html

Sadly, I think there's some flaw present, because taking a look at this I see that even episode 1 chapter 1 doesn't capture correctly (it skips almost all of chapter 1 and jumps straight to chapter 2 after a few sentences)

Zig · May 22, 2022

Darko said:
Technically they'd turn into a mammal.

We talk about "fish" (which, cladistically, do not exist, there is no monophyletic group of "fish" that simultaneously includes all organisms we understand to be "fish"-like while also excluding, say, whales) because, despite the utter fiction that is fish, it's still a useful label when we talk about certain features that "fish" tend to have in common.

Cuchulin · May 22, 2022

Zig said:
We talk about "fish" (which, cladistically, do not exist, there is no monophyletic group of "fish" that simultaneously includes all organisms we understand to be "fish"-like while also excluding, say, whales) because, despite the utter fiction that is fish, it's still a useful label when we talk about certain features that "fish" tend to have in common.

Sssssh! Don't tell anyone but the same goes for trees!

Duke Long · May 22, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
No, the doors open

Not sure, but I think it should be 'door's'.

Zig · May 22, 2022

Cuchulin said:
Sssssh! Don't tell anyone but the same goes for trees!

And reptiles and I think birds too.

Mr Zoat · May 22, 2022

Duke Long said:
Not sure, but I think it should be 'door's'.

Thank you, corrected.

Zig said:
And reptiles and I think birds too.

And time. Tea time, doubly so.

Shotiegun11 · May 22, 2022

Can't wait for the Eagle to tear someone's face off and learn it's an Apokolitian infiltrator bot but its not the President all because of The SI accidental political snafu years ago.

Windona · May 22, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
"I was here to greet the first European settlers." He ruffles his wings. "My cries echoing out across the bay, welcoming them to a land where men might stand tall."

Very clearly a view of America from Modern America. And to think, if Ben Franklin had his way that eagle would be a turkey.

Mr Zoat said:
"No, I think that's more of a 'follow the fuckhead' thing. We're street theatre."

Is it really any worse than being Cake Man?

Mr Zoat said:
"I have a job. And when I find him I'm going to peck Uncle Sam in the face until he gets back to doing his."

Ah, the mood of anyone who had a coworker slacking for far too long.

And RIP the memory of poor Teekl. I hope Teekl's wolf child is doing well.

Vaermina · May 22, 2022

Windona said:
Very clearly a view of America from Modern America. And to think, if Ben Franklin had his way that eagle would be a turkey.

The funny thing?

Zoat was, though likely unintentionally, actually right about this.

Because the Eagle as a symbol of Freedom actually originated from the Native American's. So yes, he would have been here long before the European's arrived and probably did greet their ships with open wings.

Windona · May 22, 2022

Vaermina said:
The funny thing?

Zoat was, though likely unintentionally, actually right about this.

Because the Eagle as a symbol of Freedom actually originated from the Native American's. So yes, he would have been here long before the European's arrived and probably did greet their ships with open wings.

I did not know that! I knew about the Haudenosaunee Confederacy and that eagle feathers were important but that escaped me.

Zoat, was that intentional?

~~also my friends still want to know what entity you made a pact with to write this. Was it the Ophidion?~~

Mr Zoat · May 22, 2022

Windona said:
I did not know that! I knew about the Haudenosaunee Confederacy and that eagle feathers were important but that escaped me.

Zoat, was that intentional?

Was what intentional?

also my friends still want to know what entity you made a pact with to write this. Was it the Ophidion?

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Onaya.

Kennethil · May 22, 2022

That bird is dope. Carry on!

Windona · May 22, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
Was what intentional?

Onaya.

The fact that Eagles were a Native American symbol of freedom, thus the whole 'waiting at the shore' thing
[dice]35998[/dice]

Mr Zoat · May 23, 2022

Windona said:
The fact that Eagles were a Native American symbol of freedom, thus the whole 'waiting at the shore' thing

No, that's wasn't intentional by me. It might have been intentional by the people who picked the bald eagle as the national bird.

Bud-E · May 23, 2022

Mr Zoat said:
I stop in the air and stare at him, my human body retreating and my snake body coming to the fore.

"Like now?"

"Ooooh I just guanoed myself. Okay. Spirit snake animal. Yeah."

"I will not turn into a snake. It never helps."
— Evil Overlord List, Rule #34

Prince Charon · May 23, 2022

B00ki5h said:
"Red cows, yellow bugs, blue birds, indigo cephalopods, and violet well you ever see the movie Alien?"

I still think it says something sad and/or disturbing about the people who thought up and approved that idea (IIRC, Geoff Johns and Dan DiDio were involved, but I'm not sure that it was all them), that the embodiment of love is a horrible monster who became Carol's supervillain projection for a while, called 'the Predator.'

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Connoisseur.

Not too sore, are you?

Veteran Lurker

Verified: Oddball, Lurker, and Dabbler

Connoisseur.

Know what you're doing yet?

Not too sore, are you?

Getting sticky.

Connoisseur.

Versed in the lewd.

I trust you know where the happy button is?

Verified: Oddball, Lurker, and Dabbler

Well worn.

Dedicated ragequitter

Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

Not too sore, are you?

Versed in the lewd.

Glomerulus

Not too sore, are you?

Dedicated ragequitter

Know what you're doing yet?

Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

Well worn.

Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

Dedicated ragequitter

I trust you know where the happy button is?

Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

Dedicated ragequitter

Stand up so I can push you down!

Just zis guy, you know?

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