With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Ngamer11 · May 5, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
Ooh, that feels-. Odd. There's a slight tingling in my tattoos as they absorb a little… Something but-.

Ooh, there she is. The blank void, me standing here as the network of my tattoos and Korra as a sort of glowing copy of her corporeal self. She looks around and there's the Ophidian, her giant face moving towards us, tongue flicking curiously.

Her tongue is taller than both of us, and its length serves only to add scale to her size.

Korra stares at her, eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly. "That's your patron?"

"Avatar Korra, meet the Ophidian, Embodiment of Avarice. And yes."

The Ophidian turns her head, staring at us with her left eye whose pupil alone utterly dwarfs us. Korra stares right back, then pulls

I wasn't expecting Korra to meet the Ophidian so soon, and without other people to see her as well. Hopefully she'll get a chance to manifest herself in the physical world so that the locals can stare at her in awe and fear.

Mr Zoat said:
"Huh. Okay." She frowns as she lowers herself back to the mat. "And you were right: your chakra do feel weird. But what's that got to do with your voice?"

"The networks of spiritual energy in my body aren't just mine. I've absorbed tiny amounts of energy from each of the spirits I've dealt with. I actually had to get my chakra points altered to make that possible. And my patron, well… We're so close that neither of us are exactly sure where one of us ends and the other begins. I've become sufficiently… Like a spirit that my voice resonates with her power."

"Does that happen a lot?"

"I've known a few other people who've done it. But I suspect that your connection to your past lives would prevent it. Honestly, though, those same past lives are why you probably don't need it anyway."

I'm interested in seeing what the locals will get out of this info. Airbenders have tattoos to show they've become masters, and Combustionbenders seem to need the tattoo in order to combustionbend at all. Would anyone be interested in experimenting with this?

Mr Zoat · May 5, 2024

moralrelativity said:
being -> beings

Thank you, corrected.

Zig said:
She's explicitly gay in the comics so it's not just a Dumbledore situation.

As I understand it, Dumbledore is explicitly gay in the Fantastic Beasts films. Honestly, the way the comics invented widespread in-universe homophobia made me roll my eyes.

Darko said:
A bit of a risk in violating the Rule 8, but I have to point out that they probably didn't do that for fear of a backslash from viewers which could have impacted how the studio executives had the show proceed.

I suspect the studio executives didn't want the program banned in certain countries.

Darko said:
"How far"
"they ended"
"being particularly weak"

Thank you, corrected.

"does feel"

No, I think that works.

Chojin Patriarch · May 5, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
170 After Genocide, Late winter, even later than day

Korra drops heavily onto the… Teaching mat? There are wooden lap-benches stored in one cupboard, along with paper and writing implements, but there aren't the sort of desks that European nations used in the nineteen twenties.

"Okay, so… I don't have a lesson planned out or anything, and we've only got an hour anyway. Is there anything you want to ask, or shall I just… Ramble until the dinner bell?"

I can picture the implements, quite easily. A flat surface, with low legs designed to fit over someone sitting cross-legged or in seiza. meanwhile, I suspect Korra will be happy to learn anything she can, whether it's exciting stories from the old man, or a basic primer on Spirits...

Korra opens her mouth, then hesitates, looking thoughtful and a little uncertain.

"I am very hard to offend. Whatever you're thinking-."

Honestly, I can't actually remember OL being offended by anyone's words alone. Their actions being inefficient and counter-productive, certainly.

"What's with your voice?"

I blink. "My voice? Ah… I come from an island that doesn't really have much contact with.. the three nations. You probably wouldn't have heard my accent even somewhere as cosmopolitan as Republic City."

His English accent still there after all these years, eh? Or is it a bit like the TARDIS' translation effect, and he always sounds a little Northern?

"No, not-." She frowns. "It's like… There's this weird vibration..? Or.. something? I don't know…" She exhales, irritated at her inability to express what she means. "Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"I believe so, yes. And I suppose that's as good a place to start as any. Have far have you got with energy bending?"

Ooh, she's actually picking up on his unique spiritual makeup? Specifically, his Enlightenment?

"Ah…" She sits up slightly. "I can give people their bending back…"

"Alright. Stand up." She climbs to her-. "Oh, I should ask: have you ever actually seen a spirit before? I mean, not the indirect action of one, but an actual spirit."

To be fair, part of that is simply healing the damage Noatok/Amon did with his bloodbending... Still, it'd have to be a lot less mundane than regular waterbending healing. Working with the brain isn't exactly easy.

"I saw Tui and La when I visited the Spirit Oasis in Agna Qel'a, but they're just… Fish. I mean-" She realises after the words leave her mouth that maybe refering to the spirits of the ocean and the moon as 'just fish' to a shaman might not be polite. "-they just look like regular fish."

"I've never spoken to them. My guess would be that as part of the process of becoming more a part of the physical world, then ended up with unimpressive earthly forms. Do you want to see one in its natural habitat?"

The twin spirits of the Moon and Ocean, eh? True, they aren't exactly stylish beyond their taiji-colouring.

"Yeah! But what's that got to do with energy bending?"

"It's probably the easiest way. Meditation is one of the ways whereby you can loosen your grip on the corporeal and enter the spirit world in spirit, but I get the impression that meditation isn't really your thing."

Korra, sitting still? Not exactly easy for her.

"You…" She glances awkwardly to the side. "Yeah."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we're probably going to have to do some of that until you get a feel for it. But there are other forms of meditation, and I suspect that some form of moving meditation might be better for you."

Heh. Somehow, I think she'll like that more, yes... Something akin to Yoga, perhaps. Or running familiar kata...

Her eyes widen as she stares at me. "Meditation where I get to move? Can we start with that?"

"Second lesson. For the first, I want to introduce you to my patron. And since there isn't a… There isn't anywhere near here with the barrier between corporeal and spiritual is particularly weak, that involves you energy bending me."

Ooh, opening himself up to the Avatar-state Korra? That could be interesting. Because while he is open to her, she is open to him. (That's what made Aang Energy-bending Ozai so dangerous...)

"A-uuuuuuh-."

"You don't need to try and restore my bending or anything like that. I've never been a bender. Just feel my chakra network without trying to alter it. That should be enough to get her attention."

Hopefully Best Snek knows this is coming, or is at least in a good mood.

"Okay." Korra nods. "I can do that. Juuust let me…" She bows her head, closes her eyes and take a slow deep breath in, then out, then in, then out again.

"Oh, and I should warn you that my chakra network will feel different to what you're used to. Not something to worry about, but… Be aware of it." She nods, and I lean forwards slightly so that she has more comfortable access to my head. Then she reaches out with her right hand, eyes glowing white, and touches my forehead.

Now, let's see what each of you sees within...

Ooh, that feels-. Odd. There's a slight tingling in my tattoos as they absorb a little… Something but-.

Ooh, there she is. The blank void, me standing here as the network of my tattoos and Korra as a sort of glowing copy of her corporeal self. She looks around and there's the Ophidian, her giant face moving towards us, tongue flicking curiously.

Fascinating. Probably ambient spiritual energy cast off by the Avatar State.

Her tongue is taller than both of us, and its length serves only to add scale to her size.

Korra stares at her, eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly. "That's your patron?"

Just don't say anything about her size, she's probably been enjoying the taste of lots of different universes' Avarice.

"Avatar Korra, meet the Ophidian, Embodiment of Avarice. And yes."

The Ophidian turns her head, staring at us with her left eye whose pupil alone utterly dwarfs us. Korra stares right back, then pulls

Yeah, that's not an abyss anyone would want looking back at them. Especially if things got freaky and her eye started looming larger and larger until it felt like the entire sky was looking at you...

her hand off my forehead. "Huuuuh."

"She is my patron."

Hope you don't need a change of pants? It can be something of an experience, coming face-to-eye with one seventh of all sapient drives.

"That.. was… Weird." She nods. "Yeah, that was weird."

"Welcome to spirits. I think she liked you."

...And if she was looming nearby, I'm not surprised OL's had somewhat of an easy time with some spirits.

"So do they..? All look like that?"

"No, that's just her. The black void was because you were communicating with her through me rather than entering the spirit world yourself, and her size was due to her power. Most spirits are far smaller."

Typically around human sized. Probably due to some sort of morphological cross-over between them.

"Huh. Okay." She frowns as she lowers herself back to the mat. "And you were right: your chakra do feel weird. But what's that got to do with your voice?"

"The networks of spiritual energy in my body aren't just mine. I've absorbed tiny amounts of energy from each of the spirits I've dealt with. I actually had to get my chakra points altered to make that possible. And my patron, well… We're so close that neither of us are exactly sure where one of us ends and the other begins. I've become sufficiently… Like a spirit that my voice resonates with her power."

Again, something which would create quite the impression of many spirits that he's dealt with, I bet.

"Does that happen a lot?"

"I've known a few other people who've done it. But I suspect that your connection to your past lives would prevent it. Honestly, though, those same past lives are why you probably don't need it anyway."

The Avatar State does get a bit of a 'voice of the legion' effect sometimes, though the current Avatar's is always the strongest.

"Why… Avarice?"

"The Ophidian has no concept of higher ideals. Everything is about wanting and getting. That sort of myopia is very common amongst the more primal spirits, who struggle to understand things outside of their nature."

She frowns thoughtfully. "Like..? A fire spirit couldn't understand not being on fire?"

...More like 'it wouldn't understand why you might not want to be on fire', maybe? To be fair, such a spirit would likely consider everything to either be fire or fuel...

"Perhaps. Perhaps it would understand things that were burning, things that could burn and things it isn't interested in. And as you deduced, it wouldn't have a problem with burning so might not understand that burning isn't the natural state of humans. It's not that it hates humans or particularly wants to hurt them, it's just… What it is. You eat food and breathe air, it burns. Now, the less… Primal ones can be a good deal more mentally complex than that. They are usually a bit more aware that humans don't think like they do, but likewise you need to remember that they still don't think like us. Mostly."

For instance, that Librarian spirit that didn't think much of humans. Beyond what interesting things they created.

"Mostly?"

"We're saying 'spirits', but that's actually putting a lot of very different creatures in the same category. It's even worse than putting every living thing in the world into a single category and then making blanket statements about them. You wouldn't treat a fish like a bird, and, well… The difference between a minor rice spirit and the Ophidian is far greater."

Capital understatement, really.

I look around at the shelves of scrolls.

"I imagine that there are all sorts of things written here about encounters between Avatars past and various spirits. It's probably all worth reading. But I'm going to try training you in the best way to approach them when you don't know exactly what you're dealing with. So let's go back to the trick I played on Master Tenzin earlier: the danger of assumptions."

Heh. One thing Korra is very good at early on: Jumping to Conclusions. Sometimes faulty ones.

An interesting introduction to spirits for the young Avatar, eh? If she can learn some useful techniques from OL that she can reproduce, that may well form some impressive butterflies when Dark Spirits start to appear more often. If nothing else, perhaps she can learn a little patience via some more suitable meditation methods.

Darko · May 5, 2024

Chojin Patriarch said:
For instance, that Librarian spirit that didn't think much of humans. Beyond what interesting things they created

Though he didn't know that much about their creations.

Though he would have been right if the setting had the Flintstones.

Doccer · May 5, 2024

Darko said:
sensing the translation effect of his ring?

Probably energy of the Avarice Enlightenment we see in his quotation marks when he talks.

Mr Zoat · May 5, 2024

Chojin Patriarch said:
His English accent still there after all these years, eh? Or is it a bit like the TARDIS' translation effect, and he always sounds a little Northern?

[Shudders in southerner]

To be fair, part of that is simply healing the damage Noatok/Amon did with his bloodbending... Still, it'd have to be a lot less mundane than regular waterbending healing. Working with the brain isn't exactly easy.

You'll never convince me that was blood bending. He knew what energy bending could do from his father, had exactly the focus required for energy bending and did something that energy bending had been shown to do. I think everyone in setting just refused to even contemplate that the bad guy could do something that spiritual. Blood bending controls blood, that's why it's called blood bending.

Fascinating. Probably ambient spiritual energy cast off by the Avatar State.

No. Raava.

Ngamer11 · May 5, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
No. Raava.

Will Paul ever get a chance to talk to Raava because of this?

The Froggy Ninja · May 5, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
Honestly, the way the comics invented widespread in-universe homophobia made me roll my eyes.

Especially since the Avatar tends to trend toward gynosexual attraction regardless of what meat suit it's inhabiting. You'd think a couple generations of gay superweapons with maximum spiritual authority would quash that kind of sentiment.

Mr Zoat said:
You'll never convince me that was blood bending. He knew what energy bending could do from his father, had exactly the focus required for energy bending and did something that energy bending had been shown to do. I think everyone in setting just refused to even contemplate that the bad guy could do something that spiritual. Blood bending controls blood, that's why it's called blood bending.

It's a derivative of water bending which also includes healing for some reason. I could believe that blood bending lets you interface with their chi in more complex ways (like how the sacred spring water can be used to heal scars) that are similar to but distinct from energy bending. Kind of like how lightning redirection and lava bending draw from water bending principles.

Mr Zoat · May 5, 2024

Ngamer11 said:
Will Paul ever get a chance to talk to Raava because of this?

I have no specific plans for that.

Darko · May 5, 2024

The Froggy Ninja said:
Especially since the Avatar tends to trend toward gynosexual attraction regardless of what meat suit it's inhabiting. You'd think a couple generations of gay superweapons with maximum spiritual authority would quash that kind of sentiment

You're assuming that bigots would do the logical thing and not piss off the uber-powerful demigod.

Never underestimate stupidity.

Lurking Shade · May 5, 2024

The Froggy Ninja said:
You'd think a couple generations of gay superweapons with maximum spiritual authority would quash that kind of sentiment.

Apparently an Avatar RPG adds that Sozin had a younger sister who rejected her position as nobility as part of being in a relationship with an Air Nomad, which pissed Sozin off and which people have taken as a suggestion that he prohibited it specifically he hated his sister .

(Or as part of his anti-Airbender propaganda)

Chaoswind · May 5, 2024

Lurking Shade said:
Apparently an Avatar RPG adds that Sozin had a younger sister who rejected her position as nobility as part of being in a relationship with an Air Nomad, which pissed Sozin off and which people have taken as a suggestion that he prohibited it specifically he hated his sister .

(Or as part of his anti-Airbender propaganda)

Damnable air benders corrupting little sisters and turning them gay, no wonder the fire lord hated them, why can they be gay in peace when the fire lord himself can't love his best friend?

Radix · May 5, 2024

Darko said:
You're assuming that bigots would do the logical thing and not piss off the uber-powerful demigod.

Never underestimate stupidity.

Avatar Day is very good proof of that.

Senevri · May 5, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
tai chi isn't a martial art. It's an exercise routine for old people.

There's a great deal wrong with this statement.

Mr Zoat · May 5, 2024

Senevri said:
There's a great deal wrong with this statement.

There could be at most two things wrong with those statements.

DeathlessProficiency · May 5, 2024

Tai chi is 100% a martial art. Incidentally, elderly people are both able to practice and get great benefits from doing so.

Cuchulin · May 6, 2024

DeathlessProficiency said:
Tai chi is 100% a martial art. Incidentally, elderly people are both able to practice and get great benefits from doing so.

My understanding is that the version of Tai Chi you see old people do in the park is little more than an exercise routine, just one that is derived from proper a martial art.

CrazyNoVa · May 6, 2024

Mr Zoat, I have three questions that have been bothering me for a while. I apologize in advance if they have already been answered, but I'm just dying to know.

-One, is there a version of Paul somewhere in the multiverse that got paired with a Green Lantern ring? We've seen many different Pauls up until now, but not a Green Lantern Paul yet. I'm not talking about the Anti-Green Paul variant who eventually became a Gold Lantern, but a genuine Green Lantern Paul. I'm asking because I've been pondering what a GL version of your S.I. would be like. At first, I thought it would be boring, but then I started really thinking about it, and I came to the conclusion that for someone like Paul, having a Green Lantern ring instead of an Orange one would be the equivalent of playing a video game on the one of the hardest difficulties, because a GL Paul would have a lot more trouble doing what they want than an Orange Paul. The real challenge that comes into play would be: how would GL Paul even be able to do all the things OL Paul would do, if GL Paul would be forced to live under the rules and restrictions of the Guardians? Would he also get along better with Hal and the other GLs too, or would their relationship just be the same?

-Two, as the universe with a half-demon sybarite Paul proves, it's possible to recharge an Orange Ring by absorbing/eating demons, though not without obvious side-effects. But what about Violet Rings? Desire and Love are closely related to each other, and succubi/incubi are lust demons, and all that. So would it theoretically be possible for a Star Sapphire to recharge their ring and accidentally become partially demonic themselves by eating/absorbing succubi or incubi in the same way that the Paul from that alternate universe did for his own orange ring?

-Three, you know how black lanterns recharge their rings by consuming hearts filled with emotions, right? Well, how would that even work for a being that is sentient and has emotions, but isn't biological? Take Red Tornado, for example: Red Tornado is obviously a sentient Robot with emotions and all that, so if I was a black lantern and wanted to feed on him, could I do it by consuming whatever his equivalent of a heart would be as an acceptable substitute (like his central processor, maybe)?

Mr Zoat · May 6, 2024

28th June 2015
10:58 GMT

"Doctor O'Brien!"

I wave cheerfully as the woman who soundly rejected my job application two months ago approaches the police cordon. While Kevin and I ravaged the vanguard of the Dark Elf assault force, the actual solution to the invasion came in the form of the assassination of its commander and his second and the defection of their third. Still, he and I saved an awful lot of people, including the Liverpool branch of Britain's magical intelligence agency who were next in the line of fire. A mildly-roasted Kevin has spent a few days posing for the cameras, while I've mostly been standing guard over the new interplanetary asylum seekers.

At least they're definitely not economic migrants.

"Mister Grayven."

I narrow my eyes behind my goggles. It looks like she's upgraded her wards since last time we met.

"And what brings you here? While I'm sure they're glad that you're thinking of them, I don't believe that the Dark Elves really need a lesson is musicology at the moment."

I was interested to learn that the pyromancers who were trying to carbonise Kevin and me were vampires. They do need to drink blood, but rather than act as food it powers a particular type of extraplanar parasite which supercharges their magic relative to normal magicians. Usually, vampires I'm met before -including my children- struggled to make such an efficient conversion.

Of course, the government is still trying to work out whether the slaves they brought with them should be treated as part of their group or as a separate group. In either case, the vampire wizards are going to start shrivelling to death soon unless someone does something about it.

Oh no. Anyway…

"That's not why I'm here."

"Yes, I did work that out. I just hope that you know more about this than you do about superheroes."

"Is that what you are?"

Breathe in, breathe out, roll my eyes behind the goggles. "If you didn't intend to read my CV, then why did you bother asking for one?"

"You wrote that you were trained by Batman. If you weren't prepared to take it seriously, why did you expect me to?"

"I was trained by Batman! I mean.. not full time, he mostly just assigned us missions. I only remember getting… Three.. lectures? Before I packed the whole thing in. But he definitely had oversight."

She rolls her eyes, sighing in frustration.

"Mister Grayven, this was the first major attack on British soil since seventeen ninety seven. The government is in uproar. You-."

"Did you actually prepare for running a superhero team? I ask, because it was just supposed to be a working retirement for me. I assumed that you would be handling writing the standard operating procedures and feeding back on the legislative requirements while I or someone like me would be handling the superheroing. When I didn't get a phone call with an expedited Indefinite Leave to Remain I assumed that you had a prime candidate and I wished them well. Instead, it all fell apart after a couple of weeks. Though that whole mess did underline for me the problem with trying to operate under government oversight."

I hold her gaze for a few moments.

"Did you, or anyone working with you, know anything about being a superhero?"

"We were building a specialist police unit-."

I glower. "No you weren't! Superheroes only happen when either the establishment is so irredeemably corrupt that there's no point in trying to be part of it, or when a particular individual is so uniquely powerful that they can't operate inside it without their effectiveness being crippled. In the short run you didn't need police, you needed an armed response unit for stamping on would-be supervillains before they could become a problem, while at the same time you update training for detectives to include the basics on how to handle arcane phenomena."

The breath hisses through my teeth.

"I know this stuff. And you… Let me guess, you watched the sixties Batman series and thought you knew the first thing about superheroes!" I glare. "Worm. Marvel: Civil War. Supreme Power. Deus Ex. There are plenty of comics that take a more realistic approach to the application of supernatural power on normal police work. Go on." I raise my hands and then lower them in a gesture of frustration. "Tell me. Did you read any of them? Did you watch a modern film?"

And.. that.. fear of-.

She looks down at her blouse in alarm as her ward becomes extremely hot, her right hand reaching for something that's not there.

"Given what happened at the proms, I'm going to assume that your possessed violin was destroyed. It wouldn't have worked on me anyway. And here." I take one of Sunset's 'overkill' wards out of subspace and offer it to her. "This one actually works."

She eyes it wearily for a moment, then returns her gaze to my face. "What do you want, Mister Grayven?"

"A working holiday. From the feel of things, this world is about to get interesting. Magic… Is getting stronger. More accessible. Whatever moron nominated you for your position has at least spotted that, right?"

"Yes."

"So I still want the job and you've been fired. And Kevin and I -the two people you passed on hiring- are the men of the hour." I lean down a little. "I could just appeal directly to the government and press, but I prefer to work within established structures. Where do I find the organ grinder, so I can actually get to work?"

Her expression hardens slightly. "What did you do to Fabian Everyman?"

"I have no idea who that is. A.. really bad nom de heroique?"

"He was the man I was scheduled to interview after Mister-" She glances at Kevin for a second. "-Inglebrooke."

"Oh, that thing. I stabbed it to death. Don't worry, I learned my lesson with beings of that class after the second time one of them got back up. He won't bother you again."

She frowns in confusion. "What 'class'?"

"I don't know what he was, exactly, but it wasn't human. Some sort of… Multi-body entity? Powerful, but nothing I haven't fought before. My father would have eaten it alive, in his prime." I shrug. "I thought it best not to give it the chance to mind control your entire country, so..."

I draw the Sword of the Fallen.

"This is quite good at putting down entities like that. A great leveller. You have to remember to double tap them, but…" I resheathe it. "Manageable. Anything else?"

"What are your intentions towards Britain?"

"I want to help it deal with the oncoming crisis. For my own enjoyment. I've ruled an interstellar empire before, so I'm confident of my ability to put together a crisis squad to jump on any eldritch nasties. After that… Probably go somewhere else? Get a new job? Honestly, since you'll be long dead by then I wouldn't worry about it too much."

Her face tightens. "Would you care to explain that?"

"You're in your… Late thirties? Projected death date… An average of seventy one, given your occupation, general heath and stress levels? I'll be here long after that." I frown for a moment, then flatten my brow with an amused snort. "It wasn't a threat. I wouldn't bother. You're not that significant. Now do I get to meet your boss, or am I going straight to the PM?"

moralrelativity · May 6, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
Kevin has spend a

spend -> spent

Mr Zoat said:
including my children-

Needs space before final -

Ostentatiousnessness · May 6, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
It wasn't a threat. I wouldn't bother. You're not that significant.

What a fucking burn.

Ngamer11 · May 6, 2024

The Renegade really needs to do better recon before staying on a planet. If he did, he would've known how inexperienced/incompetent the local governments were and could've adjusted his plans accordingly.

Chojin Patriarch · May 6, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
28th June 2015
10:58 GMT

"Doctor O'Brien!"

I wave cheerfully as the woman who soundly rejected my job application two months ago approaches the police cordon. While Kevin and I ravaged the vanguard of the Dark Elf assault force, the actual solution to the invasion came in the form of the assassination of its commander and his second and the defection of their third. Still, he and I saved an awful lot of people, including the Liverpool branch of Britain's magical intelligence agency who were next in the line of fire. A mildly-roasted Kevin has spend a few days posing for the cameras, while I've mostly been standing guard over the new interplanetary asylum seekers.

Oh, he's going to enjoy this. No doubt he has plenty of 'I told you so's lined up and ready to drop with all the smugness his godly soul can manage. And good to see Kevin also enjoying his newfound hero-dom.

At least they're definitely not economic migrants.

"Mister Grayven."

Heh. No doubt the Elves will be making themselves useful.

I narrow my eyes behind my goggles. It looks like she's upgraded her wards since last time we met.

"And what brings you here? While I'm sure they're glad that you're thinking of them, I don't believe that the Dark Elves really need a lesson is musicology at the moment."

That sounds like a very limited field of magical study...

I was interested to learn that the pyromancers who were trying to carbonise Kevin and me were vampires. They do need to drink blood, but rather than act as food it powers a particular type of extraplanar parasite which supercharges their magic relative to normal magicians. Usually, vampires I'm met before -including my children- struggled to make such an efficient conversion.

Well, blood is strongly associated with magic, given the various kinds of fictional blood magic methods.

Of course, the government is still trying to work out whether the slaves they brought with them should be treated as part of their group or as a separate group. In either case, the vampire wizards are going to start shrivelling to death soon unless someone does something about it.

Oh no. Anyway…

Leave them be, and the problem will take care of itself. The best kind.

"That's not why I'm here."

"Yes, I did work that out. I just hope that you know more about this than you do about superheroes."

Which I'm guessing is next to nothing?

"Is that what you are?"

Breathe in, breathe out, roll my eyes behind the goggles. "If you didn't intend to read my CV, then why did you bother asking for one?"

I do hope you at least mentioned that you were interdimensional in origin and hailed form an actual cape universe...

"You wrote that you were trained by Batman. If you weren't prepared to take it seriously, why did you expect me to?"

"I was trained by Batman! I mean.. not full time, he mostly just assigned us missions. I only remember getting… Three.. lectures? Before I packed the whole thing in. But he definitely had oversight."

...Maybe if he had mentioned it, she would have taken him more seriously. Or hit the panic button, one of the two.

She rolls her eyes, sighing in frustration.

"Mister Grayven, this was the first major attack on British soil since seventeen ninety seven. The government is in uproar. You-."

So the secret war is now not so secret. Maybe now you can actually get real funding and support.

"Did you actually prepare for running a superhero team? I ask, because it was just supposed to be a working retirement for me. I assumed that you would be handling writing the standard operating procedures and feeding back on the legislative requirements while I or someone like me would be handling the superheroing. When I didn't get a phone call with an expedited Indefinite Leave to Remain I assumed that you had a prime candidate and I wished them well. Instead, it all fell apart after a couple of weeks. Though that whole mess did underline for me the problem with trying to operate under government oversight."

Always a tricky thing. Just look at all the superhero comics with that as a plot. It rarely ends well (though more often than not because some supervillain gets their oar in as part of the leadership.)

I hold her gaze for a few moments.

"Did you, or anyone working with you, know anything about being a superhero?"

"We were building a specialist police unit-."

Then maybe don't call it a superhero team? Make it clear that they want professionals, not civic-minded people with a spandex fetish.

I glower. "No you weren't! Superheroes only happen when either the establishment is so irredeemably corrupt that there's no point in trying to be part of it, or when a particular individual is so uniquely powerful that they can't operate inside it without their effectiveness being crippled. In the short run you didn't need police, you needed an armed response unit for stamping on would-be supervillains before they could become a problem, while at the same time you update training for detectives to include the basics on how to handle arcane phenomena."

And maybe some of those detectives could be drawn from people with enhanced senses. While they wouldn't put the forensics teams out of work (chain of evidence and all that) they could certainly put them on the right track sometimes.

The breath hisses through my teeth.

"I know this stuff. And you… Let me guess, you watched the sixties Batman series and thought you knew the first thing about superheroes!" I glare. "Worm. Marvel: Civil War. Supreme Power. Deus Ex. There are plenty of comics that take a more realistic approach to the application of supernatural power on normal police work. Go on." I raise my hands and then lower them in a gesture of frustration. "Tell me. Did you read any of them? Did you watch a modern film?"

I see the Renegade has opinions about some of those settings. Doubt we'd ever see him visiting them, but perhaps omakes...

And.. that.. fear of-.

She looks down at her blouse in alarm as her ward becomes extremely hot, her right hand reaching for something that's not there.

Heh. Someone's feeling overly nervous.

"Given what happened at the proms, I'm going to assume that your possessed violin was destroyed. It wouldn't have worked on me anyway. And here." I take one of Sunset's 'overkill' wards out of subspace and offer it to her. "This one actually works."

She eyes it wearily for a moment, then returns her gaze to my face. "What do you want, Mister Grayven?"

What he always wants: To take charge and make things work the smart way. Pity some people object to being told 'you're doing it wrong'.

"A working holiday. From the feel of things, this world is about to get interesting. Magic… Is getting stronger. More accessible. Whatever moron nominated you for your position has at least spotted that, right?"

"Yes."

And no doubt she'd happily hand it over to someone trustworthy. Sadly, the Renegade has eliminated all possibility of that by now.

"So I still want the job and you've been fired. And Kevin and I -the two people you passed on hiring- are the men of the hour." I lean down a little. "I could just appeal directly to the government and press, but I prefer to work within established structures. Where do I find the organ grinder, so I can actually get to work?"

Her expression hardens slightly. "What did you do to Fabian Everyman?"

That would be... The lizard guy he slashed up? Apparently he was doing you a favour.

"I have no idea who that is. A.. really bad nom de heroique?"

"He was the man I was scheduled to interview after Mister-" She glances at Kevin for a second. "-Inglebrooke."

Ah, yes. I suppose he kind of derailed the whole process with that little frustrated bit of lashing out.

"Oh, that thing. I stabbed it to death. Don't worry, I learned my lesson with beings of that class after the second time one of them got back up. He won't bother you again."

She frowns in confusion. "What 'class'?"

...Did the corpse not revert to its true appearance? Did they not question why the heroic looking fellow was suddenly a lizard man? Or was it there without a glamour on?

"I don't know what he was, exactly, but it wasn't human. Some sort of… Multi-body entity? Powerful, but nothing I haven't fought before. My father would have eaten it alive, in his prime." I shrug. "I thought it best not to give it the chance to mind control your entire country, so..."

I draw the Sword of the Fallen.

I wonder if that pings on people's mystical senses, assuming they have any? Then again, they seemed to have missed his literal godhood thing.

"This is quite good at putting down entities like that. A great leveller. You have to remember to double tap them, but…" I resheathe it. "Manageable. Anything else?"

"What are your intentions towards Britain?"

Putting things on an even keel. Keeping the common folk safe. Making sure some extra-dimensional predator doesn't gobble up Earth? General superheroic stuff, really.

"I want to help it deal with the oncoming crisis. For my own enjoyment. I've ruled an interstellar empire before, so I'm confident of my ability to put together a crisis squad to jump on any eldritch nasties. After that… Probably go somewhere else? Get a new job? Honestly, since you'll be long dead by then I wouldn't worry about it too much."

The Renegade is definitely one of those fellows who needs a project to keep from getting bored, isn't he? This is probably nicer than building a boat in a basement or something like that.

Her face tightens. "Would you care to explain that?"

"You're in your… Late thirties? Projected death date… An average of seventy one, given your occupation, general heath and stress levels? I'll be here long after that." I frown for a moment, then flatten my brow with an amused snort. "It wasn't a threat. I wouldn't bother. You're not that significant. Now do I get to meet your boss, or am I going straight to the PM?"

Ah, the best kind of insult for people with big egos: Irrelevance.

Well, it took a couple of months, but it looks like he's going to be getting the job he applied for after all. Probably be able to get much nicer terms in his employment contract, too. And I'll bet he's going to be having fun with it, too. I mean, he's probably not going to dress like Bananaman on duty, but I foresee him playing around with his weaker opponents.

Signaller · May 6, 2024

As someone whose hobby/career has literally generations of work required before things change from "less bad" to "good", I utterly sympathise with Grayven here.

Khettien · May 6, 2024

Man. I can't wait until Grayven gets to the politician who privatizes the Laundry's service. The reaction should be Biblical.

Mr Zoat · May 6, 2024

moralrelativity said:
spend -> spent

Thank you, corrected.

Needs space before final -

No, I think that's fine.

Khettien said:
Man. I can't wait until Grayven gets to the politician who privatizes the Laundry's service. The reaction should be Biblical.

Literally the only other segment I've written in this setting.

Mquz · May 6, 2024

Really the fault with organizing the superhero team isn't Mo's. The thing was set up to immediately fail by both the laundry and the police force - she only had 4 weeks until their first outing and the moment anyone saw any issues with how it functioned they canceled the project. They didn't even give her access to shield agent equivalents like Persephone Hazard, who's be perfect for leading a superhero team, given her extensive experience with leading small special services type infiltration teams.

Also, the marriage counseling fanfic by Charles Stross from the delirium brief is preety good as a summary for the last few books at this stage. https://archiveofourown.org/works/8921515?view_full_work=true

I kinda wish more people read the series so there was more of a community for fanfic. There's a lot of potential with in universe lore, mechanics, and characters that doesn't allways get fulfilled because the author wants to be somewhat politically relevant and because he lost interest in the heroic tropes surrounding Bob

Senevri · May 6, 2024

Mr Zoat said:
There could be at most two things wrong with those statements.

You'd think. I'm more perturbed by the amount of wrong they reveal about the person making those statements.

The wrong exceeds the number of statements.

jaelin910 · May 6, 2024

Senevri said:
You'd think. I'm more perturbed by the amount of wrong they reveal about the person making those statements.

The wrong exceeds the number of statements.

And are you intending to elaborate or are you content to just leave it at that?

Xmaster3000 · May 6, 2024

CrazyNoVa said:
is there a version of Paul somewhere in the multiverse that got paired with a Green Lantern ring?

Yes, actually. The universe he ended up in was the Roswell Conspiracies universe (Tvtropes page here if you're interested: Roswell Conspiracies). He was working under an Oan Leprechaun called the Green Knight. The threadmarks for that storyline are labeled Lantern Conspiracies.

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