So You Say You Wanna Dance.
Part One.
"You don't know how to dance?" Louise asked. "Really?"
Negi, Chisame, Shiori, Yue and Nodoka all lowered their heads and shook them.
Louise sighed. "Well, I expected that from Negi, but the rest of you are over fourteen! You should know already!"
"We... We didn't have much use for such things, Yue and I only ever attended book signing ceremonies, but never balls..." Nodoka admitted.
"I don't even like music," Chisame said.
Louise gave Shiori an exasperated look. "Fine, but Asuna is more active than these three, right?! You're going to pose as her anyway!"
"Um, sorry, but she doesn't know either," Shiori poked the tips of her pointer fingers against each other, sheepishly. "Konoka-san would know, but..."
Louise facepalmed. "No, no, that won't do! You'll be expected to dance in the Governor's Ball, otherwise you'll offend everyone interacting with you! In a social gathering, you're supposed to mingle with the other guests!"
"I know everything there's to know about every form of dance!" Rakan announced, thrusting his pelvis powerfully. "You'll be fortunate enough to enjoy my lessons for the meager sum of--!"
"We'll do this on our own, thanks, we're indebted enough as it is!" Louise snapped. "Then she frowned at Kotaro. "And why haven't you said anything? Don't tell me that you know how to!"
"Why is that so surprising?" Kotaro asked her. "I'm a master of the best form of dancing ever designed!"
"Which is...?" Rito said, frowning in suspicion.
"Capoeira, of course!" Kotaro boasted. "I learned from one of Brazil's best!"
"... I freaking knew it," Rito murmured.
Louise raised an eyebrow. "Capoeira? I don't know that style. Is it anything like a waltz?"
"No, it isn't!" Rito said. "He's just as helpless at this as they are! And before you ask me, yes, I can dance! Haruna-chan taught me how to!"
"Can you dance WITHOUT stumbling on your partner and groping her, though?" Chisame asked him.
"Aaahhhhh..." Rito said.
Chachamaru approached them. "Excuse me, please. As a matter of fact, Yuuki-senpai is far less prone to such accidents when he takes the physical form of a woman."
"Okay, yeah, I remember that," Chisame said, "but how does that help us here?"
Chachamaru opened her mouth, aimed it at a blinking Rito, and shot a laser at his head. Louise and Collet shrieked in horror. "MURDER!"
However, instead of making Rito's head explode, the ray merely changed him instantly into a gorgeous female version of himself, much to everyone's surprise.
"Lala-san installed this Koro Koro Danjo-kun function into me before we took the flight to Wales," the gynoid explained while Rito stared at her own hands and despaired. "She told me that I might want to use it on Negi-sensei at some point..."
"Come to think about it, it could have helped you to disguise yourself while a fugitive, Professor," Collet reflected.
"I... I think we handled the situation well enough without the need for it, regardless," Negi said, shuddering a little while Rito started weeping softly to herself. "I take it, then, that you could teach us the basics of dancing before the ball, Master?"
"Of course I can!" Louise beamed smugly. "I was invited to all of Henrietta's balls, after all! The daughter of a noble family such as myself is expected to handle herself in a ballroom! I'll gladly teach you and Chisame..." And then she began doing dismissive gestures towards the others. "But I don't have the time to help the rest of you! Sorry!"
Shiori blinked, looking at Rito as the former boy began bashing her head against a wall. "It doesn't look like he'll be in any shape to teach us for a while, either..."
"Let him get used to it," Yue said. "We can't let him go as a man, or he'll grope every princess and female ambassador in the gala, and we'll be executed in the spot."
"What a whole load of noise over nothing!" Natsu said. "I can teach you! I'm the best dancer of Fairy Tail!"
"Oh, seriously?" Chisame asked flatly.
"Aye!" Happy said. "We've won several dance contests in the guild! Let's show them, Natsu!"
"Got it!" his friend grinned, then grabbed the shade from a lamp and put it on his own head. The two jumped on the table and began dancing wildly, throwing their legs around. "Hey! Hey! HEY!"
"Hey! Hey! HEYYYYY!" Happy repeated, swirling his hips in wide circles. "We're the lords of the dance...!"
"No, that won't do at all!" Collet said. "It's just awful!"
"Well, to be fair, we dance much better when we're drunk," Natsu said, stopping just a moment before Louise roughly shoved him off the table.
Lucy sighed. "What a pain. It's alright, Yue, Nodoka, I'll teach you. My family also used to take me to dances and I'd like to think I'm not all that bad at it."
"Thank you, Lucy-san!" Nodoka said. "We'll be eternally grateful to you!"
"We chose our replacement Haruna wisely..." Yue nodded.
"I actually like this Haruna better than the old one," Chisame said. "Can we keep her?"
Rito took a moment from bashing her head into a pulp to glare at her. "Funny..." she said icily.
"But," Lucy cautioned. "We are in a short time before the gala! Much like Louise, I don't think I can teach more than two of you in that short a frame. The rest of you will have to look for help elsewhere, sorry."
"I can teach you for a fee," Tsukuyomi offered.
"Has any of you heard anything?" Chisame asked to no one in particular.
"No, I haven't. Must be your imagination," Yue said.
"Maybe Haruka-senpai can help us when she comes back from her scouting," Nodoka hoped. "She's also from the high society, so she might have some experience as well..."
Rakan approached Natsu and slammed his large hand on his back several times. "Don't let 'em get to you, kid! That dancing was really good! You remind me a bit of myself, when I also was a brat with two left feet!"
Natsu snorted. "Let 'em! They're just jealous they can't rock the lampshade look the way I can...!"
