1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.


    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

    Jan 27, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Ah I clearly can't read.
  2. Coda

    Coda I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Jan 27, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Arguably, "headstabbing" would fit the bill.
  3. Zig

    Zig Know what you're doing yet?

    Feb 26, 2016
    Likes Received:
    cake man
  4. hkim

    hkim Know what you're doing yet?

    Aug 8, 2018
    Likes Received:
    No, that's correct.
    ShadowPoint likes this.
  5. Threadmarks: Uncomplicated Good Works (part 6)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Dec 1, 2016
    Likes Received:
    6th December 2012
    15:29 GMT
    I Think

    The room is… White.

    The thick carpet is white, and so thick and soft that just looking at it makes me want to take off my boots and socks and squirm my toes in it. The settee I'm sitting on is soft white leather with white-stained wood panelling. The walls are white, with white frames containing white on white images. There's a white wood table upon which sits a white bowl containing white fruit.

    And the ceiling…

    I can't see the ceiling. Just a… Vague source of light, illuminating clearly but not blindingly.

    My right hand drifts down the side of the settee, and… And that's a D-ring. And that's a D-ring, and… That's a white coil of rope partially disguised as a table decoration.

    "How worried should I be?"

    "Oh, sweetums. How worried do you want to be?"

    A.. person, in a white suit, shirt and tie walks down a white spiral staircase. Their hair is black, jet black, and slicked back in such a way that I can't make out hairs and it just looks like a solid mass. Their skin is similarly pale, though compared to our surroundings it stands out like a beacon. The figure… Can't tell whether they're male or female, and my rings appear to have decided not to help. Given the suit I'd have guessed butch woman over effeminate man, but I shouldn't project human norms onto an alien. Especially a selectively corporeal one.

    "Do I have the pleasure of addressing Desire?"

    They pause on the last circuit of the staircase, leaning artfully on the railing and looking down at me like a… Well, like an ancient eldritch being who has found a new amusement.

    "Shouldn’t you answer my question first?"

    I shrug. "I don't particularly enjoy being worried. Jade and I both tried it; it's not our thing."

    "It's not just about sex, dear boy."

    They unlean, continuing their descent with one hand gracefully tracing the banister as they complete their journey.

    "I understand that you're all about purpose. If you weren't worried about something, would you get out of bed in the morning?"

    "For those who seek perfection, there is no rest this side of the grave. And in.. my case, not even then. You decided to egg Admiral Hesk on, then?"

    "O-H." They hug themselves, arms crossing under their pectorals and hands pressed to their hips. "You did most of the work for me. The Spider Guild must be destroyed! All that-" They roll their eyes. "-pointless fear and hesitancy receded and a few words was all that was required to send them off."

    "You mean… Down in a blaze of glory."

    They turn sideways and flop languidly onto the seat opposite me.

    "They get to be remembered in story and song, and die knowing to the depths of their souls that they're finally doing the right thing."

    I nod. Yeah, I'm…

    "You in good health? Eating well, that sort of thing?"

    Desire blinks, then gestures to their body with both hands.

    "Does this make me look fat?"

    "I'm reasonably confident that you can look as fat or as thin as you want. I'm asking about how well you are."

    "Fit as a fiddle, never been better. … Thank you for asking?"

    "You sure? Not picking fights with Morpheus or anything like that?"

    They pantomime a look of disappointed sternness. "You aren't planning on trying to intervene on his behalf, I hope. That would be most unwise."

    "I know what happens when Endless die. We've met before, on the moon. And now I'm here, and my tattoos don't have an off button. I'm absorbing your magic, which, along with my connection to the orange light, puts me in prime position to succeed you if you die."

    Their face stills, their eyes narrowing with curiosity.

    "I don't want to be Desire. I want you to live until the end of the universe when Death finally does away with you, while I step smartly into a younger universe-"

    "Abandoning the universe for a younger model? How cliché."

    "-with a jaunty wave. I don't know how you relate to either me or the Ophidian and I don't care."

    "But you know what happens when we die? You shouldn't be able to know that." They grin. "Tell me more."

    "If you agree to butt out and not take umbrage when I try to stop Admiral Hesk, I'll-"


    "-hap-. Ah, okay. One of you dies, the rest of your family get the shroud from the necropolis, you each do a funeral oration and then the deceased sails off into oblivion. And is then completely forgotten by everyone except their immediate successor. Which makes me wonder why you're focusing on Morpheus, when you know that even if you're successful you won't remember it."

    "It's not always about the outcome, dearie." They idly stroke the arm of their chair with their left hand. "But out of curiosity, since you're so concerned, who would have taken over from my dear brother?

    "The book I read said it was Daniel Hall, but the Daniel I know has lived a very different life to the Daniel in the book. Though please don't do anything stupid like trying to get him killed; whatever you do it will be someone."

    "Why hurt the boy when I can just hold it over my brother's head?"

    "Up to you. Look, we're both busy people. Do you want anything else, or can I go back to reality now?"

    "Is that it? You're face to face with Desire, and all you want to do is leave?"

    "I don't want to sound like a total sigma here, but yes. I realise my own desires. I've got plenty of my own motivation and I don't need your help. And.. I.. also read a story about a man being decapitated one day after he married the woman he wanted, so I'm a little concerned about how helpful your help would actually be."

    "You shouldn't believe everything you read."

    "True, but it's been more accurate than not."

    "Well then! Back you go. You'd best hurry, dear Hesk was quite set on it."


    And I'm in space watching Hesk's ship's gun ports open.

    Last edited: Sep 11, 2022
  6. Ej190

    Ej190 Making the rounds.

    Jan 21, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Ok, that happened. What was the point of it happening?
  7. freakytiki34

    freakytiki34 Getting out there.

    May 17, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Well that was straightforward. Blunt honesty is probably the best approach when facing the Endless.
  8. AR760

    AR760 Versed in the lewd.

    Aug 24, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Um, being needlessly short and curt, almost, if not outright to the point of rudeness with Desire, one of, if not expressly the most vindictive and spiteful member of the Endless seems like a needlessly stupid decision.

    ....And when I say stupid, I mean potentially cataclysmically, mindbreakingly, Darwin Award levels of stupid.

    Time to start the countdown to the dissolution of OL's "romantic relationship" with Jade to her cheating or lesbian awakening or newly discovered plant fetishism or whatever it may be. Because there is no way an IC Desire takes Paul's behavior in stride lmfao.
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2022
  9. thatguy3367

    thatguy3367 Know what you're doing yet?

    Jan 3, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Okay that was and anticlimax I was not expecting. I know that can’t be the last time we see desire tho so I wonder how this will go?
  10. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

    Jan 27, 2019
    Likes Received:
    That was nice. An eldritch abomination trying to butt in, politely told to fuck off, and back to more important matters we go. That's the Illustres for you.
  11. Vaermina

    Vaermina Experienced.

    Oct 16, 2015
    Likes Received:
    LePaul really up with that bullshit...

    He's very very lucky Desire didn't call his bluff and erase his soul.
    Kaldi97 likes this.
  12. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

    Feb 6, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Paul. Paul you fucking idiot.

    I'm willing to overlook a lot of stupid things but you do not mouth off to an Endless!
  13. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

    Jan 31, 2020
    Likes Received:
    Desire is impulsive they were probably mildly curious about Paul and then decided to talk to him.
  14. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Know what you're doing yet?

    Jan 27, 2019
    Likes Received:
    What was that?

    Desire just showing up to say hi then leave?

    Cool? I guess?
    Cuchulin, Jaron, Silverias and 3 others like this.
  15. PJ739

    PJ739 Getting out there.

    Mar 23, 2021
    Likes Received:
    Can someone tell me the chapter where Paul meet Dream?
    Cuchulin likes this.
  16. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    My guess, Desire wanted to poke Paul for fun. Paul distracted her with something she'd want more, the name of Dream's successor, and laying the groundwork for future plots.
  17. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

    Dec 2, 2016
    Likes Received:
    your -> you
    would -> was? is?
  18. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

    Sep 23, 2015
    Likes Received:
    She can't, the only Endless that can do something with souls is death.

    She could erase him from existence I guess?

    Oh wait, Book of Destiny, she can't.
    jonasquinn, Cuchulin, Vorian and 5 others like this.
  19. AmericanNumbers

    AmericanNumbers Know what you're doing yet?

    Jun 25, 2021
    Likes Received:
    Orange = Desire
    Green = Destiny
    Red= Destruction
    Yellow= Despair
    Blue= Dream
    Indigo= Death

    Not a bad fit.
  20. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

    Dec 3, 2019
    Likes Received:
    That was... underwhelming. It seems like, ironically, Desire didn't actually want anything out of their talk.
  21. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

    May 26, 2016
    Likes Received:
    I don't know if there actually was any 'good' way to approach the conversation. The longer it went on the greater the possible failure points. Being polite had about as many ways that it could have gone wrong.

    Better for Paul to just be clear about what he wants. Also since Paul knows what he wants and knows that he is able to get it by his own power Desire doesn't really have anything to offer him.
    jonasquinn, BookZone, kerleth and 9 others like this.
  22. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

    Jan 27, 2019
    Likes Received:
    How... Monochromatic. Though I don't doubt OL is introducing a little colour into the place. And I'm sure the Owner wouldn't mind you taking a little decadent moment to enjoy Their carpeting choice. It is Their thing, after all. :p They'd likely be amused.

    Ah, the old 'endless white void' trick. For when you want to add a little spaciousness to an eldritch setting.

    ...Hey, if the the Owner likes to restrain visitors sometimes, then that's entirely Their prerogative.

    How very Patrick Nagel-esque. And entirely true to the source material... But wow, would that trip the uncanny valley or what?

    Oh, OL, that's not good. One of the Endless taking an interest in you? Hell, They've probably been watching you since your little moment on the Moon...

    On the upside, if things got a little carried away, his Ring can fix up any damage.

    And all of a sudden, I have 'You're So Vain' playing in my head. It may as well be Their theme song.

    Hmm... And suddenly Their interest grows clearer. He's Avarice Enlightened, which is probably a fascinating state of mind to Them.

    Obligatory Jon Bon Jovi link! :p And I can honestly see Them encouraging that kind of self-destructive desire. It might not be entirely avaricious, after all. There's probably plenty of Rage backing that choice, but it's all swept up in Their little push...

    Ah, letting them get some deep-seated frustrations out, eh? Hardly altruistic, though...

    o_O Er, what? There's a non-sequitor for you.

    :eek: Don't answer that, it's a trap!

    Though no doubt curious as to where OL's going with this line of questioning.

    Besides, I'm sure Their revenge will be much slower-burning, if They even feel the slight that set Them off in canon... OL's existence may have distracted Them from that vendetta.

    Probably wondering if that's accurate or not. And no doubt a little curious as to whether that's possible.

    Also, OL would look terrible in 1-bit shading... Orange is far more his colour.

    Goddammit, OL, now They're definitely interested in you.

    Oh, boy. Let's hope Their attention wanders before things go too poorly for him.

    You forgot the whole universe having a sensation of mourning alongside them. Which raises questions about what happened to the universe when the first Despair, Desire's Twin, passed.

    Though Dream will probably just point out that 'That was another universe, another story.' ...And mope.

    Well, he's not going to try anything sexual on with you. And you should be well aware of that.

    True. Any dealing with an Endless, especially that one, should be undertaken carefully, or better yet, not al all.

    Chances this is going to end poorly for OL...

    ...Evidently quite high.

    Well, I had the feeling They were going to try and keep him occupied for longer. I mean, a man who basically broke his own mind like OL did would be fascinating for Them. Though now I get the feeling They intend to mess with OL for a while, see if They can unbreak him. Such is Their nature. At any rate, I'm sure They will be watching...

    Can't tell whether they're male or female...
    ... tracing the banister as they complete their journey.
  23. m_d

    m_d Fascinated by storytelling

    Sep 23, 2014
    Likes Received:
    I for one am intrigued. I like seeing the little check-ins and glimpses we get of Paul being noticed by various beings in ways that are somewhat mysterious, but open the story up to further paths in future. People complain about things coming out of nowhere without these threads now and then.
    Cuchulin, BookZone, Senevri and 8 others like this.
  24. B00ki5h

    B00ki5h Verified: Oddball, Lurker, and Dabbler

    Jan 27, 2019
    Likes Received:
    What did Paul miss? Beings who operate at that level very rarely do one thing at a time and while Desire is one to likely indulge in passing fancies they more often then not get what they want.
  25. Dakkan Sall

    Dakkan Sall Random Encounter

    Apr 25, 2013
    Likes Received:
    I... don't recall this detail. At least not from what I remember of the original comic series; Lyta Hall remembers that the 'new' Dream is/was her son Daniel. Matthew the Raven dithers about leaving since Morpheus was gone but figures to at least stick around a bit to advise Daniel since the latter is 'new' to the job. And Despair is known to be the second iteration of herself would indicate that Endless deaths are remembered to some degree or another, even if just among their siblings.
  26. Windona

    Windona Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

    May 9, 2022
    Likes Received:
    Oh poor Daniel Hall. Paul could probably have bargained for a lot more for that intel
    Prince Charon likes this.
  27. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Oct 14, 2015
    Likes Received:
    I reckon this chapter has two overt points and one subtle point/foreshadowing. Here in bold we have the first one. Anti-Monitor juju, Silver City thaumaturgical rūh, Atlantean will-working, Olympian and Othrysian mana, Order pneuma, Chaos paradoxes, Desire of the Endless’ qi… He was purged of Hell’s energies (though Sephtian wasn’t confident) but at some point Paul might get the soul equivalent of kidney stones.

    I think that we’ve already made comparisons between Renegade!Paul and Paragon!Paul’s natures. But we can’t point to a final stage of development for Paragon!Paul’s development, aside from his esoteric abilities expanding like we saw in April Fools… and like we see with Controllers. Sure abilities like avarice teleportation are neat (in spite of the magical side effects Zatanna told him about). That doesn’t mean all of his developments will be positive. Paul’s empathy abilities have changed in the past… who is to say he’ll be able to rely on them in the future?

    The second blatant point is a question. How would Paul have handled this meeting with Desire prior to meeting alt!Alan? Would Paul have tried a Constantine plot to guide the actions of Desire? Would Paul give her the Melinoë treatment, covering sections of Desire’s domain which are problematic (like the dangerous pride of supervillains or the mania of scorned scientists)? Would he bring up Sandy’s bargain with Morpheus as a suggestion that Desire do something similar, sponsor a hero? Hard to say. But the last arc and Paul’s recent resolution is definitely having some effect on how Paul is acting.

    The final subtle piece of foreshadowing that I might be imagining… “pointless fear and hesitancy receded,” they said. Desire has been watching Paul. Paul recently received a shock to his system which encourages him to be more cautious. Desire is making a threat to Paul, along the lines of “keep me entertained.” Remember how terrified everyone in the dream city was of Morpheus and fallout from pacts with the Endless? Desire might be an antagonist for a future act of this story. Desire is proof that Paul is not invulnerable; he could suffer something like Grayven and Artemis did, without a time travel machine to undo it.
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2022
    BookZone, Senevri, kerleth and 12 others like this.
  28. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Versed in the lewd.

    Jan 28, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Now I want Paul to tell someone that he might be capable of succeeding Desire of the current one were to die somehow.

    I'm curious as to how Paul revealing this information will come back to bite him.
    Siiracai The Supernal likes this.
  29. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

    Oct 1, 2016
    Likes Received:
    And the beginning of his relationship with Melinoë!
    BookZone, BBJimmy, Ardy and 4 others like this.
  30. Sojiko

    Sojiko Getting sticky.

    Oct 7, 2020
    Likes Received:
    That was over suprisingly easily ... Also that should be "Well then!"