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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
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- self insert young justice
Digging a Hole
Mr Zoat
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12th Sigmarzeit 2512
Afternoon
It is said that dwarfs have no word for 'sorry'.
"…because Burri the Short failed to hold…"
That isn't exactly true. The English word 'sorry' can be used in a wide variety of situations, several of which appear quite distinct when viewed objectively. Consider the difference between a 'sorry' used as an apology for bumping into someone in the corridor, then contrast it with someone saying sorry for running someone over with a car and crippling them for life. Or when it's used sarcastically, to indicate that the target is being a big baby about something.
"…logistics make it completely impossible…"
Dwarfs don't have a way to say 'sorry' for bumping into someone. Even dwarfs with a history of personal enmity will usually let it go so as to not appear physically fragile. Apparently, the closest to a 'sorry' that's appropriate is actually a mildly embarrassing gesture; a trivial penalty for a trivial offence.
"…combed it slightly more often then maybe…"
For a significant injury, the closest to a word for sorry more literally means 'I accept responsibility and will make restitution', though it has a very similar effect. Even angry dwarfs will generally calm down a little when they hear it, if they think that the offer is genuine. There is in theory no injury that can't be paid for with sufficient quantities of gold or other valuables. A grudge will be recorded, but it can be crossed off as 'paid in full' almost immediately.
"…misfired more often…"
I haven't dared ask about sarcasm yet.
"…daughters with false beards-."
"Gentlemen!"
The Longbeards of Stonecutters Clan and Strongaxe Clan suddenly remember that I'm here, their eyes darting my way even as their bodies square up to one another.
Harl Stonecutter is the first to remember to glare.
"What did you call me, human?"
"I called you a 'gentleman'. It's a polite and formal form of address in my society. If you would rather be called something else, I will happily acquiesce. But I fear that we're getting off topic."
Sven Strongaxe jabs his right hand at his opposite number, though fortunately his axe has so far remained in his belt.
"Did you hear what he said about-!"
I raise my hands in a warding gesture.
"Did he say anything about the contract we are here to discuss?"
Sven shifts his glare to Harl. Harl glares back. Sven moves his glare back to me.
"No."
"If he said anything -if either of you said anything- that relates to another grudge held by your clans against a human, I'll be happy to talk to you about it in another meeting. If you have other grudges against each other, those are nothing to do with me. But for now, let us focus on getting this grudge resolved."
There's a certain amount of muttered grumbling, but they both slowly return to their pre-outburst positions.
"Thank you. Now." My eyes drop down to look at the two contracts in front of me, both containing near-identical terms and both embossed with the seals of both clans and with the seal of a now-extinct family of Ostland nobility. "I can find no fault in the contracts and no real difference in their terms. And since I cannot meaningfully trace the inheritors of the Empire side of the contract, it meets my stated requirements for settling outstanding debts."
Another round of muttering, but this time it sounds a little more satisfied.
"The total value for the contact is stated as being fifty thousand gold crowns, and you have both accepted that half of the total payment was delivered prior to the commencement of the work. This leaves twenty five thousand gold crowns owing. I have consulted with High King Thorgrim concerning the usual penalty fees in situations like this, and he advised me that when payment is tardy due to the death of everyone who knew about the debt, an additional ten percent is usually acceptable. Are you both prepared to agree that twenty seven thousand five hundred is acceptable for full payment?"
They glare at each other for several moments. The ten percent thing is normal but it's informal. Since there's no penalty schedule in the contract itself they can ask for a good deal more if they want. But… While they aren't poor clans, neither of them are exactly rich either. That's a nice chunk of cash. And they have to agree on the penalty fee together and they dislike each other more than they do me.
"Aye." / "Yes."
"Good show." I hold out my right hand, a locked chest filled with bags of gold coins appearing on the stone floor next to me. "Would the actuaries of both clans please step forward?"
A small group of dwarfs on each side get a nod from their respective thanes and then walk towards the chest, careful to keep their distance from one another. A click and the locks disengage and the lid lifts up.
"Please perform a full count and confirm that the amount is as required. If I have miscounted, then you have merely to inform me and I will make good the difference."
Abacuses are removed from belts and chalk sticks are raised in anger. Dwarf financial specialists are just as thorough in their area of expertise as dwarf engineers and craftsmen are in theirs.
"Now, as for assigning payment, to my way of thinking there are two ways we can handle this. The surviving copies of the contract don't specify which clan gets what proportion of the payment."
Which hasn't mattered much to the humans involved, but has encouraged tremendous ill-feeling between the dwarf clans involved.
"The fact is that no matter what we might suspect, we don't know exactly who is owed what. I am happy to split the payment exactly in half and pay half to each of you. I-."
I raise my arms as they both start to complain.
"I fully accept that that most likely doesn't reflect the work done by the workers of either clan or the raw materials provided by either clan. I offer it as a possibility because none of us know. That would get the grudge paid immediately, which is why I like it."
And that's why the argument started. It sounded so simple at the start; a surviving written contract with an amount stated upon it. But the receipts were burned and everyone who knew exactly who did what died when the fortification they built was overrun by Chaos-worshipping raiders. Both clans know that the other did at least some work, but without knowing exactly how much they both feel that anything other than all of the money risks the other side getting more than they're due.
Dwarfs. Gotta love 'em.
Neither lead delegate looks happy with the offer. I asked Thorgrim about just paying them both the full value plus the penalty fee and he looked at me like I'd just offered to fart in his mother's face, so that's off the table.
"Okay, before we get off track again, it looks like neither of you are happy about that idea. The other option is that I lodge the coin with King Thorgrim and he has actuaries not affiliated with either of your clans go through your surviving contemporary records in an effort to work out what you're likely to be owed. It won't be the right amount because it can't be, but it will be closer to the right amount than a fifty/fifty split. If you choose that option, you'll both record the grudge as being paid by the humans involved and lay the onus for sorting out the rest with the High King."
"Gentlemen. High King Thorgrim has expressed his desire for grudges to be repaid. I'm offering payment. I get the impression that you want the money you are owed. But no one can force you to mark a grudge as repaid. How do you want this to happen?"
Thorgim's not going to thank me for this one.
15th Sigmarzeit 2512
Morning
Thorgrim stares at me as ranks of dwarfs on pews all around us begin leafing through the ancient ledgers covering their desks.
"I'll not be thanking you for this one, human."
I look down at the floor.
"Yeah. I know."
Afternoon
It is said that dwarfs have no word for 'sorry'.
"…because Burri the Short failed to hold…"
That isn't exactly true. The English word 'sorry' can be used in a wide variety of situations, several of which appear quite distinct when viewed objectively. Consider the difference between a 'sorry' used as an apology for bumping into someone in the corridor, then contrast it with someone saying sorry for running someone over with a car and crippling them for life. Or when it's used sarcastically, to indicate that the target is being a big baby about something.
"…logistics make it completely impossible…"
Dwarfs don't have a way to say 'sorry' for bumping into someone. Even dwarfs with a history of personal enmity will usually let it go so as to not appear physically fragile. Apparently, the closest to a 'sorry' that's appropriate is actually a mildly embarrassing gesture; a trivial penalty for a trivial offence.
"…combed it slightly more often then maybe…"
For a significant injury, the closest to a word for sorry more literally means 'I accept responsibility and will make restitution', though it has a very similar effect. Even angry dwarfs will generally calm down a little when they hear it, if they think that the offer is genuine. There is in theory no injury that can't be paid for with sufficient quantities of gold or other valuables. A grudge will be recorded, but it can be crossed off as 'paid in full' almost immediately.
"…misfired more often…"
I haven't dared ask about sarcasm yet.
"…daughters with false beards-."
"Gentlemen!"
The Longbeards of Stonecutters Clan and Strongaxe Clan suddenly remember that I'm here, their eyes darting my way even as their bodies square up to one another.
Harl Stonecutter is the first to remember to glare.
"What did you call me, human?"
"I called you a 'gentleman'. It's a polite and formal form of address in my society. If you would rather be called something else, I will happily acquiesce. But I fear that we're getting off topic."
Sven Strongaxe jabs his right hand at his opposite number, though fortunately his axe has so far remained in his belt.
"Did you hear what he said about-!"
I raise my hands in a warding gesture.
"Did he say anything about the contract we are here to discuss?"
Sven shifts his glare to Harl. Harl glares back. Sven moves his glare back to me.
"No."
"If he said anything -if either of you said anything- that relates to another grudge held by your clans against a human, I'll be happy to talk to you about it in another meeting. If you have other grudges against each other, those are nothing to do with me. But for now, let us focus on getting this grudge resolved."
There's a certain amount of muttered grumbling, but they both slowly return to their pre-outburst positions.
"Thank you. Now." My eyes drop down to look at the two contracts in front of me, both containing near-identical terms and both embossed with the seals of both clans and with the seal of a now-extinct family of Ostland nobility. "I can find no fault in the contracts and no real difference in their terms. And since I cannot meaningfully trace the inheritors of the Empire side of the contract, it meets my stated requirements for settling outstanding debts."
Another round of muttering, but this time it sounds a little more satisfied.
"The total value for the contact is stated as being fifty thousand gold crowns, and you have both accepted that half of the total payment was delivered prior to the commencement of the work. This leaves twenty five thousand gold crowns owing. I have consulted with High King Thorgrim concerning the usual penalty fees in situations like this, and he advised me that when payment is tardy due to the death of everyone who knew about the debt, an additional ten percent is usually acceptable. Are you both prepared to agree that twenty seven thousand five hundred is acceptable for full payment?"
They glare at each other for several moments. The ten percent thing is normal but it's informal. Since there's no penalty schedule in the contract itself they can ask for a good deal more if they want. But… While they aren't poor clans, neither of them are exactly rich either. That's a nice chunk of cash. And they have to agree on the penalty fee together and they dislike each other more than they do me.
"Aye." / "Yes."
"Good show." I hold out my right hand, a locked chest filled with bags of gold coins appearing on the stone floor next to me. "Would the actuaries of both clans please step forward?"
A small group of dwarfs on each side get a nod from their respective thanes and then walk towards the chest, careful to keep their distance from one another. A click and the locks disengage and the lid lifts up.
"Please perform a full count and confirm that the amount is as required. If I have miscounted, then you have merely to inform me and I will make good the difference."
Abacuses are removed from belts and chalk sticks are raised in anger. Dwarf financial specialists are just as thorough in their area of expertise as dwarf engineers and craftsmen are in theirs.
"Now, as for assigning payment, to my way of thinking there are two ways we can handle this. The surviving copies of the contract don't specify which clan gets what proportion of the payment."
Which hasn't mattered much to the humans involved, but has encouraged tremendous ill-feeling between the dwarf clans involved.
"The fact is that no matter what we might suspect, we don't know exactly who is owed what. I am happy to split the payment exactly in half and pay half to each of you. I-."
I raise my arms as they both start to complain.
"I fully accept that that most likely doesn't reflect the work done by the workers of either clan or the raw materials provided by either clan. I offer it as a possibility because none of us know. That would get the grudge paid immediately, which is why I like it."
And that's why the argument started. It sounded so simple at the start; a surviving written contract with an amount stated upon it. But the receipts were burned and everyone who knew exactly who did what died when the fortification they built was overrun by Chaos-worshipping raiders. Both clans know that the other did at least some work, but without knowing exactly how much they both feel that anything other than all of the money risks the other side getting more than they're due.
Dwarfs. Gotta love 'em.
Neither lead delegate looks happy with the offer. I asked Thorgrim about just paying them both the full value plus the penalty fee and he looked at me like I'd just offered to fart in his mother's face, so that's off the table.
"Okay, before we get off track again, it looks like neither of you are happy about that idea. The other option is that I lodge the coin with King Thorgrim and he has actuaries not affiliated with either of your clans go through your surviving contemporary records in an effort to work out what you're likely to be owed. It won't be the right amount because it can't be, but it will be closer to the right amount than a fifty/fifty split. If you choose that option, you'll both record the grudge as being paid by the humans involved and lay the onus for sorting out the rest with the High King."
"Gentlemen. High King Thorgrim has expressed his desire for grudges to be repaid. I'm offering payment. I get the impression that you want the money you are owed. But no one can force you to mark a grudge as repaid. How do you want this to happen?"
Thorgim's not going to thank me for this one.
15th Sigmarzeit 2512
Morning
Thorgrim stares at me as ranks of dwarfs on pews all around us begin leafing through the ancient ledgers covering their desks.
"I'll not be thanking you for this one, human."
I look down at the floor.
"Yeah. I know."
Last edited:
Ngamer11
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Just to confirm, this is Paol, the guy who ended up in Warhammer and is in a relationship with an undead queen?
Darko
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"are just"
Ahh, paperwork.
The bane of men and dwarfs.
Darko
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hance1986
A pitiful excuse for a man.
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On a side note, due to Cyberpunk and Edgerunner fics popping up on the site recently, if Zoat can I'd be interested in hearing what a Orange Lantern Paul would do upon emerging over Cyberpunk 2077 Earth.
Ngamer11
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Until Mr Zoat says otherwise, we only know that he's kissed one on the lips.
Handlewithcare
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Dear gods. An accountant. Truly, we've met the most dangerous Paul of them all!
Darko
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It's still closer than Saul.
Probably.
We don't know if he did it offscreen.
Cuchulin
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or cheap.
Pez
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iamnuff
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There's something pleasingly straightfoward about the idea that all grudges can be settled with cash.
In a genre where historical grudges between two nations often spring out of basically nothing and then spiral onwards for hundreds of years and eventually reach the point where peace is all-but impossible, there's something almost wholesome about the idea of just buying your enemy off.
It only works, of course, if your former-enemy is willing to be bought off in good faith. Which, with most cultures, would be impossible.
If they take the money but continue holding a grudge afterwards, then you accomplished nothing.
But with dorfs though.
"Your human Lord Whatever called our High King Whosit 'a hairy lawn ornament'! This means war!"
"What if he apologizes?"
"Fuck off."
"What if the apology comes in the form of a big chest of gold?"
"Well then it'd be like nothing ever happened, obviously."
In a genre where historical grudges between two nations often spring out of basically nothing and then spiral onwards for hundreds of years and eventually reach the point where peace is all-but impossible, there's something almost wholesome about the idea of just buying your enemy off.
It only works, of course, if your former-enemy is willing to be bought off in good faith. Which, with most cultures, would be impossible.
If they take the money but continue holding a grudge afterwards, then you accomplished nothing.
But with dorfs though.
"Your human Lord Whatever called our High King Whosit 'a hairy lawn ornament'! This means war!"
"What if he apologizes?"
"Fuck off."
"What if the apology comes in the form of a big chest of gold?"
"Well then it'd be like nothing ever happened, obviously."
Mr Zoat
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Thank you, corrected.
Mr Zoat
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Never played it. It might be fun, but it's also still a buggy mess.
Thank you, corrected.
Old Knife
Not too sore, are you?
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... It has its soul in it's body, is responsive to his actions, and has skin and approximate body warmth. Practically a premium experience compared to the options the non romantically attached have these days.
And he gets it for free.
FreeGod
If you see a God on the road fuck it!
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I feel like by the time Thorgrim counts in the bureaucracy fees that there is unlikely to actually be any money left. But they are dwarfs the principle matters more then the money!
iamnuff
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It's not, actually.
I mean, from my own experience it was fairly stable within a month or two of coming out but now that it's up to 1.6, the general consensus finally seems to agree with that.
2077 is in a perfectly playable state. If you're interested in it at all, now's as good a time as any to pick it up.
Chojin Patriarch
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Oh, I feel sorry for you, uhh...
Huh, been so long I forgot what nickname we use. Dealing with the Dawi is a pain at the best of times, when an emergency can set aside protocols. In a nominal time of peace, with Grudges involved? Not getting an axe to the skull will be a bonus.And don't even get started on other languages. Some of which can have different terms based around the relative social standing of the parties involved...
Hopefully something like a smack upside the offender's head, delivered by the offender themself. ...It's just an amusing concept.
Of course, if you already have a Grudge with someone who says that, then you might not believe the offer to be genuine. Which just adds to the standing Grudge.
"Last manling who tried that rubbish left on his back... With an axe buried in his skull. Still waiting for the family to return it, too!"
...Speaking of earning axes to the skull...
And Dwarfs of the Old World have faces just made for glaring. Ideally from under bushy brows poking out under a war helmet. Like the Kubrick Stare on steroids.
It's blunt, but sometimes with Dwarfs you need to be blunt. Like a hammer.
Ah, so merely a slight disagreement then...
...A few imprecations about Master Sven's parentage, comparisons to an Orc's nether regions...
Nothing serious. But no, nothing about the contract.I can half imagine them sharing an elder's look of 'huh, a manling who gives a damn about contracts? What's the world coming to?'
Aye, I think they can settle for skipping the customary second round of insults. Especially if it means they get paid for something.
Ah, the old 'the debtors all died off' situation, eh? But not even death will stop a Dwarf's Grudge.
Twenty-five thousand? Man, I'm amazed they didn't march to war over it. I've heard stories where Dwarfs laid siege to a castle they built over a hundred gold.
And if there's one thing this fellow is not short of, it's gold.
Please ignore the sounds of tumbling coins filling the air, that's just normal ambience for this sort of thing.
Ooh, Dwarf Abacuses? Are they lethal weapons in their own right? ...No, stupid question, of course they are.
Ah, yes. I doubt either clan wants to see the other get one coin more than they do. So it's a good thing the total can be evenly divided by two.
Come now. They're Longbeards, complaining is their Grungi-given right.
Naturally. They clearly put more work in than the other lot, slackers that they are.Paying more than the agreed amount plus interest? That's just crazy talk! Be glad he didn't write that one in The Book.
...And Thorgrim is quite the tight-fisted fellow. I doubt they'll ever see it paid out. Better guaranteed coin now than maybe coin someday.
Well, better them a little angry at him than a lot angry at you.
But is it a stare of tolerance or of annoyance? They may look similar, but the intent is very different. ...Often coming down to whether or not an axe will be involved.Doing the High King's job better than him and all that...
Heh, for all that Thorgrim wants these Grudges settled, there's something to be said for an outsider rolling in and throwing gold around willy-nilly. Gotta have something to settle down in front of the fire on a cold night and grump about. And Dwarfs do love holding their Grudges close. Never gonna be able to pay off all those grudges, though. Not enough gold in the world for that.
...contract with an amount stated upon it.
...anything other than all of the money...
It won't be the right amount because it can't be, but it will be closer to the right amount than a fifty/fifty split.
néocorvinus
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Which one? I only know of two, and one of them has a body as rotted as the other's soul
Assblaster5000
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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I've personally seen more things go wrong recently than when I first played it )nothing that left the game unplayable mind), but that's likely because I am both a console peasant and on early last-gen. The bugs never bothered me though, game's always been fun as far as I'm concerned.
FreeGod
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That was a case where the humans in question knowingly and willfully stinted them. In the case of the debt not being payed because everyone died to the point that it was only found out about latter the rage likely become far more diffuse. There wasn't a clear target.
Duke Long
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'them'
'Chaos-worshipping', unless he's deliberately not capitalising out of disrespect or something.
I'd say the game is decent, and they've done a lot of fixing, but it's understandable if you're skeptics. Regardless of that, though, I do recommend the Cyberpunk Edgerunners anime. It's pretty good.
They can always be repaid in blood. There might be enough valuable goods available to pay off all grudges against 'good guys', especially given power ring transmutation, and then you can remove the other Grudges by killing all of the orcs, goblins, vampires, Chaos worshippers, trolls, etc. Then again, the dwarfs might not be okay with a debt being paid by someone other than the debtor, and there are probably some people who'd refuse to repay the debt.
FreeGod
If you see a God on the road fuck it!
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If Paul wanted to became emperor for some reason the Dwarfen response would likely be "Wasn't he already?"
In Dwarren society a big part of being king or high king is taking responsibility for your subbornates debts when they are not able to. The ultimate the buck stops here. So to the Dwarfen mind Paul taking responsibility for all human debts would be something of a power play establishing his legitimacy.
moralrelativity
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simply -> simple
Mr Zoat
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Sadly, this is one of his duties as High King, and so is covered by existing taxes.
Playable, sure, but you still have to ignore people floating through the air behind their cars and an AI that can't path, for example.
I don't know if killing Adam Smasher when you first meet him still soft locks the game, but I suspect that it does.
Thank you, corrected.
Thank you, corrected.
No, it's okay. He got Emperor Karl-Franz to sign a document appointing him as official grudge-settler of the Empire, so it's all good.
Thank you, corrected.
RichardWhereat
Aia airëa Fëanáro.
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We need an informative threadmark created on a post with a list of all the various Paul's, and their lists of sexual attrocities they have committed.
Fist fucked a spider
Fucked a corpse
Fucking a pony
Fist fucked a spider
Fucked a corpse
Fucking a pony
