1st April 2012
23:01 GMT -6
"Let me-." I hold up my forehooves. The eight of us are sitting in the station's café, the staff having taken one look at us and then abandoned any attempt to enforce the closing times. "Let me make sure that I'm understanding what you're telling me. Just before he was turned to stone by Celestia and Luna, Discord developed some kind of magic-nullifying vine thing-"
Twilight Sparkle nods. "
Plunderseed Vines."
"-and threw the seeds around, intending for them to sprout… At some point in the future. A little while ago they
did sprout,
kidnapped Celestia and Luna from Canterlot and dragged them back to the Everfree…
Somehow. Without anyone noticing. Again…
Somehow."
Rarity frowns, her right forehoof tapping her snout as she tries to work out how that could have happened.
"So you went into the Everfree, fought through the vines, put the Elements back on the Tree of Harmony because… It turns out that they're actually some kind of fruit? And
that sent out a blast of harmonious magic which destroyed the vines, except… Maybe it didn't, so you've got to leave them there in case it missed any. And you got a box. Which… Random items you picked up over the next few months turned into keys for. And when you opened it, there was a rainbow inside, which made you all rainbow coloured, drained Tirek and built Twilight a new house. And then vanished."
Applejack nods. "That's about the size of it."
I study Rainbow Dash while my mind
spins. Apparently, I somehow missed
two harmony-based magical mega-weapons.
"So did…" I point at her with my right forehoof. "She keep a bit, or is she naturally..?"
Rainbow Dash metaphorically preens. "I'm
aaaaall natural."
"So… What happens next time… Picking an example at random here… Another evil magic user like… Queen Chrysalis or… Grogar? Puts in an appearance?"
Twilight thinks for a moment, then shrugs with her
wings oh that's cheating!
"I.. guess we'd.. just have to fight them without the Elements. Or we'd find a new magic artefact and
beat them with
that."
Pinkie Pie nods enthusiastically. "Or we could use the Crystal Heart!"
Crystal Heart. Not sure it's really what I was.. looking for, but… I'll take what I can get. Even if it only sets the Anti-Life fragment back a little it'll have been worth it.
"And where's that?"
There's a slight.. intake of breath from several of the ponies.
"Ah…" Twilight looks around to see if anyone has an idea on how best to lie to me. "It's… A… Long way away?"
Over to my left, Sunset Shimmer rolls her eyes and shakes her head at her successor's dishonesty failure.
"But why do you want us to use something like that on you, anyway? If you're.. evil, you wouldn't
want us to, and if you're not evil…" She frowns. "I actually don't know what they do to ponies who aren't evil."
"What about someone who is afflicted by some sort of evil magic but isn't evil themselves?"
"Um. Well, the Elements of Harmony removed the Nightmare from Princess Luna, so I guess they can tell the difference?"
Applejack doesn't look convinced. "Beggin' yer pardon, Twi, but didn't the rainbow make Tirek how he was before he started stealin' everypony's magic? How exactly is he s'poss ta be
good?"
"A
hhh… It… Put him in Tartarus and it put Nightmare Moon on the moon the
first time. Maybe it-."
"Okay, you and Sunset try working that out together. I'm going to go to a library, find out where this Crystal Heart thing is, then-."
"
No!" Twilight's eyes widen. "You-."
"Oh just
tell him why not." Sunset takes a couple of steps forward. "Applejack, you're 'honesty', right?"
"That ain't exactly how it works, sugarcube." She looks around the Bearerherd. "But if Graven here's really got some kinda evil magic makin' him look like that, I fer one think we oughta tell him."
Twilight sighs. "Okay, but-. You look a lot like a pony called King Sombra. He used to rule a place called the Crystal Empire, which is where the Crystal Heart is. If you go there, everypony would be
terrified."
"Ah, Twilight?" Rarity frowns thoughtfully. "If the ponies of the Crystal Empire are confronted with somepony who looks like something out of their worst nightmares… Wouldn't that prevent the Crystal Heart from working?"
"Yes! You're right!" She smiles as a reason for preventing me from going there hits her. "Which means that there's no point in you going there!"
Sunset frowns. "Why? What does it need to work?"
"The love of all of the crystal ponies. If they see you, it won't get any power. And the spells keeping the Crystal Empire warm would stop working as well and they'll freeze to death!"
She's probably right, Lantern. You could try to sneak in and use it covertly, but if the Zamarons couldn't purify you with love I doubt that these primitives would manage any better.
Yes. Still: no harm in throwing them a bone…
"Love? Don't Changelings feed on that?" I smile. "Can I assume that the Crystal Heart is well protected? Walls, defensive spells, that sort of thing?"
Twilight sort of
freezes. "Y-es?"
"Good show. I'd hate to think that a changeling could just walk up to it and eat their fill. So how about taking me to this 'Tree of Harmony' thing and blasting me with the Elements
there? You don't even need to take them off it."
Fluttershy peers out from behind Pinkie Pie and her own mane.
"Why do you think you need us to use the Elements on you? If you don't mind telling us."
"I've got a… Let's call it a curse. It tries to change the way I think. At the moment there's… Another spell keeping it contained, but the containment is gradually weakening. When Sunset described the way magic worked here, I began to hope that a sufficiently powerful harmony-related effect could permanently destroy it. And.. now that I've learned that you could easily regain the ability to generate such blasts, I'm… Really not sure what the problem is?"
Twilight tilts her head to the right. "It's just a curse?"
"It's a… Little worse than '
just a curse', but… Yes?"
She sits up a little straighter, smiling in what I expect she intends to be a reassuring way. "Why don't-" Her horn lights up." "-you let
me take a loo-"
I generate a yellow barrier and a suit of yellow barding.
"-kkkkk…? Or… Not?"
"It's a
memetic hazard, Twilight. It
wants to be spread. If you touch it then it will claim you as well and then you won't be able to use the Elements. That's why you shooting me with them is such a great solution: it's
one way. No chance for feedback."
"Okay… What does it do?"
"It uses examples from your own life to prove to you that having any aim results in failure and misery."
Rainbow Dash looks decidedly unimpressed. "That's
it? So it doesn't… Turn you into a warthog, or make you get old super fast or turn your legs into sand or… Anything?"
"I spent days raving in anguish before it got shut down."
She exhales dismissively.
"Mister Graven…" Twilight looks like she's about to break some bad news. "I'm happy to try looking at this curse for you, but… We only use the Elements on
bad ponies. You're trying to remove a curse and that's… Fine, but it doesn't make you bad."
I nod. "So what you're saying is, that if I become more evil then you'll use the Elements on me?"
"Yes, exactly." She then
twitches as she actually hears what I just said. "No! Nonono!"
I stand, grinning maniacally, purple and green bubbles bubbling from my horn.
"THEN PREPARE FOR EVIL AS YOU HAVE NEVER BEFORE EXPERIENCED IT! BAWHAHAHAW!"
I turn and prance away. Now I just need to find a
lawyer.
