ZzzSlothzzZ
Dystopian Hugs
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Obligatory
My homeworld has more lanterns than any sector.
Forget Earth.
I hear that Krypton is nice this time of year.
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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
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- Tags
- self insert young justice
My homeworld has more lanterns than any sector.
Forget Earth.
I hear that Krypton is nice this time of year.
Mr Zoat
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No. If he ended up on Apokolips as a result of being indecisive he'd resolve to be more incisive. He firmly believes that his focus meant that he didn't pause to consider different options.
Thank you, corrected.
Lord Ernest
At the End...
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I believe his name is Serifan?
Duke Long
Glomerulus
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'whose whole'
These aliens remind me of Pierson's Puppeteers, including with some of them being insane and therefore less afraid. I always liked those guys.
Mr Zoat
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Thank you, corrected.
ForeverShogo
Not too sore, are you?
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I thought Billy got someone from Heaven to take Zeus' place? Which Paul wasn't exactly pleased with, but he didn't stop Billy from doing so either.
Ngamer11
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I think you're confusing Paul trying to find a workaround for Billy with Zauriel making an unexpected appearance in Mount Justice while Paul and Captain Marvel were in the middle of a conversation.
Enochi
Having way to much fun with AI.
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Okay I freely admit this exchange got a heartly laugh out of me.
Kudos.
Gateway (part 5)
Mr Zoat
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Late Summer, IC 687
21st August 2015
10:57 Japan Time
How fascinating. A world without superheroes, but where the film of the material is still sufficiently flexible to allow a gate to open between here and there. Unfortunate that my knowledge of magic is insufficient to determine what exactly that means. Could people on this side perform magic within the rules of their own parallel? Could they perform magic using the rules of 'my' side to perform magic while the conjunction holds true? I don't have full power ring powers, so I'm tentatively assuming not, but…
"You think your god is in that ring?"
One of the soldiers escorting us gives Diabo a slightly puzzled look. With the Japanese Self Defence Force bottled up on Alnus Hill, they haven't had a great deal of contact with Sandera's magic. Wyverns, pigmen and trolls might be dismissed as alien creatures, but an intelligent creature living in a ring is still a bit of a stretch.
"No, of course not." Diabo shakes his head as we walk towards the room where we will be harangued by Japanese parliamentarians. "This ring is just a tool which the God of Avarice uses to speak to me. Otherwise, I would have to go to his shrine to talk to him, or he would have to take a host."
"Oh?" The lieutenant in charge of our detail mugs gormlessly. "And what's he saying now?"
"I'm rather puzzled. Japan has poor soil and for a long time had nutritionally poor crops like rice. Humans from Japan have evolved so that you starve more slowly than humans from other parts of your world. Your natural body shape is slender because your blood never learned to deal with an excess of fat. In addition, you are soldiers, an occupation that requires a great amount of physical exercise. You eat a great deal of food and use it all to make muscle."
"Ah… I guess..?"
We continue down the corridor a short distance, and I can see Diabo try and work out where I'm going with this. Frankly, it's pretty obvious that these soldiers were chosen to escort us because, firstly, they don't know anything sensitive, and because they aren't exactly hard cases. They'll be pumped for information later by actual intelligence specialists, but I'm pretty sure that they are supposed to be friendly. Put us off guard.
The lieutenant in charge is either a complete goob or the best actor I have ever seen. And from what I can see of his desires, I'm pretty sure that he's not acting.
Anyway, those intelligence specialists will now know that I -and presumably the Empire- know enough about Japan to comment on the soil quality and history of farming. About genetics. And I want to get them in a relaxed and friendly frame of mind, too. Not because I want to influence policy or discover military secrets, but because I still don't know why an early-21st century Japan is acting this out of character. Why are they being so assertive? Where are the Americans? If I don't know that, then I can't advise Diabo how to prevent further hostilities.
"So what's up with Sergeant Tits?"
"*GH!"
She stares at the ring, then at Diabo, who sees at rage-filled expression on her face even as he tries covering the ring with his right hand.
"What exactly do you mean-?"
Diabo takes a step back. "It wasn't me!"
"I mean, serious, look at them. I'm not reading any silicon in my scans. That's all natural."
The lieutenant looks slightly amused, an expression he gets under control about half a second before the sergeant shifts her glare to him.
"Did you inherit tits from a non-Japanese ancestor? American? Dutch? Is there some secret monastery somewhere where Japanese women can apprentice themselves to learn the Secret of Tits? Do they all blow up like a pair of balloons when they achieve mastery?"
One of the other soldiers lets out a choke-laugh, which he rapidly turns into a cough when the sergeant directs her ire his way.
Diabo jerks his left hand up to his mouth.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to appear like a crass buffoon so that they'll underestimate me. Also, the lieutenant is a fan of a particular form of Japanese story-telling where such behaviour is a trope and so this fits with his expectations."
"That-. Okay, but could you tone it down a little? I don't want that gladiatrix to murder me in my sleep."
"As you wish. Well done on becoming more assertive."
Our party rounds the corner to whatever meeting room this is. Diabo drops his hands and schools his face immediately, while the escort detail takes a few moments to sort themselves out. I suspect that they've also brought one or two other Sanderans and kept them separate from us, because there's no way that anyone on the Japanese side knows enough about the structure of the Empire to advise them. It would be simple enough to detect them, but that's something that he and I can talk about later. When we're a little more alone. They should have prisoners from the initial invasion, but I'm not sure whether they'd be able to speak with them or not. The Sanderan language sounds like Latin, but I'm sure there's more to it than that.
The lieutenant walks ahead and speaks to the man guarding the door, and I feel myself glowing as Diabo reflexively checks for weapons. The answer is 'yes', but-.
"Excuse me, your highness." One of the privates steps up to us. "You said that your god isn't in the ring. So does the god just use it like a radio?"
"Honestly, I don't completely understand it myself. But it's more like the ring is his window on the world. He can see and hear everything that happens around it, but I don't think that he's really 'here' like you and I are."
"If I was actually here, Sergeant Tits wouldn't know what hit-!"
Diabo shoves me into his pocket, and I make the appropriate 'muffled protest' noises.
The private looks at the pocket for a moment. "So this is the God of Avarice."
"Okay, they're ready for us."
The lieutenant waves Diabo forward as the door guard opens the door, numerous cameras pointing at it. Diabo does another scan, and the ring's sensors and database explain what he's seeing. It's a little strange that despite my current connection I'm actually far more disconnected from the ring's systems than I was when I wore it. It is nice to have access to digital clocks again, though. Maybe I should see if they'll sell us an atomic clock? No, something that will calibrate itself based on local daylight hours would be better, as I doubt that our world has a 24-hour day.
Diabo walks confidently into the…. That's a little bigger than I was expecting for an interview, with a lot more journalists. He slows slightly as it's not entirely obvious where he's supposed to be sitting, but one of the ushers does a shallow bow and gestures to a witness box near the door. Diabo walks towards it without making eye contact with any of the people who will be conducting the inquisition. I think I remember something about Japanese emperors speaking to people from behind a curtain to preserve their mystique? Behaving in an imperious manner might help trigger an ancestral memory of that sort of interaction, or it might just make him seem confident.
The people lined up to ask question are mostly politicians, but there are a couple of military officers as well. At the moment there's no actual fighting going on, but the Japanese are dug in around the gate and the Imperial Legions and tributary armies are dug in next to the major roads. There's not a lot that they could do to stop the Japanese if they actually decided to advance, but there's nothing that the Japanese could do to stop a moderately competent Lantern. If the Japanese try something while we're here in Japan, we're in a far better position to cause damage than they are.
"Diabo El Caesar." A portly minister from the Defence Ministry takes the microphone. "What do you have to say for the crimes the Sanderan Empire has committed against Japan?"
Diabo looks at him contemptuously.
"I am Prince Diabo El Caesar. You will address me as such, or I will return to my homeland until your Emperor can receive me in person. I tolerate lesser officials in the name of peace, but I will not be disrespected by a plebeian."
What a marvellous shade of red he's turned. This should be amusing.
21st August 2015
10:57 Japan Time
How fascinating. A world without superheroes, but where the film of the material is still sufficiently flexible to allow a gate to open between here and there. Unfortunate that my knowledge of magic is insufficient to determine what exactly that means. Could people on this side perform magic within the rules of their own parallel? Could they perform magic using the rules of 'my' side to perform magic while the conjunction holds true? I don't have full power ring powers, so I'm tentatively assuming not, but…
"You think your god is in that ring?"
One of the soldiers escorting us gives Diabo a slightly puzzled look. With the Japanese Self Defence Force bottled up on Alnus Hill, they haven't had a great deal of contact with Sandera's magic. Wyverns, pigmen and trolls might be dismissed as alien creatures, but an intelligent creature living in a ring is still a bit of a stretch.
"No, of course not." Diabo shakes his head as we walk towards the room where we will be harangued by Japanese parliamentarians. "This ring is just a tool which the God of Avarice uses to speak to me. Otherwise, I would have to go to his shrine to talk to him, or he would have to take a host."
"Oh?" The lieutenant in charge of our detail mugs gormlessly. "And what's he saying now?"
"I'm rather puzzled. Japan has poor soil and for a long time had nutritionally poor crops like rice. Humans from Japan have evolved so that you starve more slowly than humans from other parts of your world. Your natural body shape is slender because your blood never learned to deal with an excess of fat. In addition, you are soldiers, an occupation that requires a great amount of physical exercise. You eat a great deal of food and use it all to make muscle."
"Ah… I guess..?"
We continue down the corridor a short distance, and I can see Diabo try and work out where I'm going with this. Frankly, it's pretty obvious that these soldiers were chosen to escort us because, firstly, they don't know anything sensitive, and because they aren't exactly hard cases. They'll be pumped for information later by actual intelligence specialists, but I'm pretty sure that they are supposed to be friendly. Put us off guard.
The lieutenant in charge is either a complete goob or the best actor I have ever seen. And from what I can see of his desires, I'm pretty sure that he's not acting.
Anyway, those intelligence specialists will now know that I -and presumably the Empire- know enough about Japan to comment on the soil quality and history of farming. About genetics. And I want to get them in a relaxed and friendly frame of mind, too. Not because I want to influence policy or discover military secrets, but because I still don't know why an early-21st century Japan is acting this out of character. Why are they being so assertive? Where are the Americans? If I don't know that, then I can't advise Diabo how to prevent further hostilities.
"So what's up with Sergeant Tits?"
"*GH!"
She stares at the ring, then at Diabo, who sees at rage-filled expression on her face even as he tries covering the ring with his right hand.
"What exactly do you mean-?"
Diabo takes a step back. "It wasn't me!"
"I mean, serious, look at them. I'm not reading any silicon in my scans. That's all natural."
The lieutenant looks slightly amused, an expression he gets under control about half a second before the sergeant shifts her glare to him.
"Did you inherit tits from a non-Japanese ancestor? American? Dutch? Is there some secret monastery somewhere where Japanese women can apprentice themselves to learn the Secret of Tits? Do they all blow up like a pair of balloons when they achieve mastery?"
One of the other soldiers lets out a choke-laugh, which he rapidly turns into a cough when the sergeant directs her ire his way.
Diabo jerks his left hand up to his mouth.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to appear like a crass buffoon so that they'll underestimate me. Also, the lieutenant is a fan of a particular form of Japanese story-telling where such behaviour is a trope and so this fits with his expectations."
"That-. Okay, but could you tone it down a little? I don't want that gladiatrix to murder me in my sleep."
"As you wish. Well done on becoming more assertive."
Our party rounds the corner to whatever meeting room this is. Diabo drops his hands and schools his face immediately, while the escort detail takes a few moments to sort themselves out. I suspect that they've also brought one or two other Sanderans and kept them separate from us, because there's no way that anyone on the Japanese side knows enough about the structure of the Empire to advise them. It would be simple enough to detect them, but that's something that he and I can talk about later. When we're a little more alone. They should have prisoners from the initial invasion, but I'm not sure whether they'd be able to speak with them or not. The Sanderan language sounds like Latin, but I'm sure there's more to it than that.
The lieutenant walks ahead and speaks to the man guarding the door, and I feel myself glowing as Diabo reflexively checks for weapons. The answer is 'yes', but-.
"Excuse me, your highness." One of the privates steps up to us. "You said that your god isn't in the ring. So does the god just use it like a radio?"
"Honestly, I don't completely understand it myself. But it's more like the ring is his window on the world. He can see and hear everything that happens around it, but I don't think that he's really 'here' like you and I are."
"If I was actually here, Sergeant Tits wouldn't know what hit-!"
Diabo shoves me into his pocket, and I make the appropriate 'muffled protest' noises.
The private looks at the pocket for a moment. "So this is the God of Avarice."
"Okay, they're ready for us."
The lieutenant waves Diabo forward as the door guard opens the door, numerous cameras pointing at it. Diabo does another scan, and the ring's sensors and database explain what he's seeing. It's a little strange that despite my current connection I'm actually far more disconnected from the ring's systems than I was when I wore it. It is nice to have access to digital clocks again, though. Maybe I should see if they'll sell us an atomic clock? No, something that will calibrate itself based on local daylight hours would be better, as I doubt that our world has a 24-hour day.
Diabo walks confidently into the…. That's a little bigger than I was expecting for an interview, with a lot more journalists. He slows slightly as it's not entirely obvious where he's supposed to be sitting, but one of the ushers does a shallow bow and gestures to a witness box near the door. Diabo walks towards it without making eye contact with any of the people who will be conducting the inquisition. I think I remember something about Japanese emperors speaking to people from behind a curtain to preserve their mystique? Behaving in an imperious manner might help trigger an ancestral memory of that sort of interaction, or it might just make him seem confident.
The people lined up to ask question are mostly politicians, but there are a couple of military officers as well. At the moment there's no actual fighting going on, but the Japanese are dug in around the gate and the Imperial Legions and tributary armies are dug in next to the major roads. There's not a lot that they could do to stop the Japanese if they actually decided to advance, but there's nothing that the Japanese could do to stop a moderately competent Lantern. If the Japanese try something while we're here in Japan, we're in a far better position to cause damage than they are.
"Diabo El Caesar." A portly minister from the Defence Ministry takes the microphone. "What do you have to say for the crimes the Sanderan Empire has committed against Japan?"
Diabo looks at him contemptuously.
"I am Prince Diabo El Caesar. You will address me as such, or I will return to my homeland until your Emperor can receive me in person. I tolerate lesser officials in the name of peace, but I will not be disrespected by a plebeian."
What a marvellous shade of red he's turned. This should be amusing.
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Darko
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Bud-E
Stand up so I can push you down!
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I'm entertained but I have no idea what's going on?
King of Frost
Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.
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Ooh, nice to see more of GATE Avarice God OL.
Artemisnemo
Getting sticky.
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It's been awhile but this is the Paul that was stuck in his ring by the gods of the story "And so the JSDF fought there". It's probably the single most jangoistic media I've seen come out of Japan in the last decade.
Lord Ernest
At the End...
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Been a while since we saw this and it's still as entertaining as it was before. Hope we are getting a few more segments for it.
Chojin Patriarch
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Ah, the world of Gate again. Been a while since we saw this future OL, who's trapped in his Ring because of local mystical mechanics involving 'Gods'. Working through a young prince of the local Empire, after Japan repulsed their little invasion force. An interesting time to return here, though.
I guess OL followed the most basic rule: "When someone asks you if you're a god, say 'Yes.'"
And I doubt OL could use the Orange Light quite so well in a host. If he could even do so, since he doesn't work like the local deified jumped-up elementals.
Accurate, if a little rude, OL.
...That is a long story. Partly because the story was written by a die-hard Japanese patriot with enough political issues to run a newsstand.
<spit-take> Oh, good grief. That would be Sergeant Shino Kurabayashi. And yes, she is a bit busty.
Apparently she's got a bit of a temper too. Though any lady would after an insult like that...
Oh, my... </takei>
Oh, OL is having fun with this, isn't he? A little chance for some opportune trolling before things get serious?
Time for a quiet word with his boss, eh?
Huh. He likes asshole
From what I remember that is one thing the young lad needed to work on.
Apparently, the lieutenant there helps make a translation guide, thanks to various events which OL's interference may well circumvent...
Dangit, kid... Why assume the young man even knows what that is?
OL definitely enjoying playing the pervy old man.
Wonder if the private is considering converting. Any faith that lets you act like a horny frat-boy has got appeal...
Probably because you don't have a brain right now, OL, and thus the Ring isn't interfacing with it for you.
Either way works to make him more confident...
And I wonder if they know the Gate isn't permanent yet?
Those crimes largely being 'causing an affray' using
Especially amusing since the Emperor of Japan is technically merely a figurehead, and has been for centuries.
I have the feeling OL will be having a lot of fun throughout this scenario. Wonder if he'll try to push to be taken through the Gate into Earth, and whether that'll break the binding the local gods put on him to keep him in spirit form. Bet he's looking forward to having meaty bits again. Though I'm honestly more concerned with what's happening in the 'A' and 'B' plots...
With the Japanese Self Defence Force bottled up on Alnus Hill...
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Mr Zoat
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Thank you, corrected.
Ngamer11
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I'm honestly hoping that Future!OL will drop the act as soon as he can get his body back, because I want to see the Japanese's reaction to learning that this "God of Avarice" is actually a British guy from another Earth.
Z000
If this is trash, then find me in the dumpster
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look, if we can put up with your American going all " America Fuck Yeah ", you could at least have the courtesy of dealing with the shoe being on the other foot and have other country go Fuck Yeah
NightmareWarden
Versed in the lewd.
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Remember the April Fools arc? It contained a few flash-forward chapters with an older Paragon Paul and promising Lantern candidates from a few franchises- meaning Paul visited other universes. This variant story involves a similar Paul who found the fantasy world showcased in Gate and getting sealed into an object by the local gods.
"We like our paradigm and genre very much, we're not going to let you ruin our game."
Many years as a barely used holy relic pass, and Diabo from this chapter (a spineless human native to the fantasy world) approaches Paul's temple as a last ditch effort to help clean up the plot of Gate. Namely, medieval knights tried to invade a modern city in Japan, died to real weapons, and are now on the verge of a counter-invasion. Paul does as he will, and is guiding Diabo into using diplomacy as a devastatingly tool instead of using the ring to blow up the army.
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Artemisnemo
Getting sticky.
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I mean, I call it out when America does it too. The Transformers movies suck.
Gate is only unique in that a lot of Japanese media doesn't like to bring up the JSDF.
Joelseph14
Know what you're doing yet?
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Nice to see Gate again!
Ngamer11
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I believe this is the same Paul, not another variant.
Cuchulin
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The difference is that America is an actual world power, Japan doesn't even have an actual serious military and in GATE Japan is winning because a random low-level soldier somehow has ninja like skills as well as other nations are so comically inept that their best don't stand a chance against Japan. Also the last time Japan went "Fuck Yeah"? It was during WWII and they almost made the Nazi's look tame at times with the stuff they did.
Sceptic
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"Oh yes, that actually makes sense considering their historical foreign policy stance."
B00ki5h
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I have to wonder how that translates into Japanese. I cannot remember if there is a equivalent prince(non heir) unless the ring translates it to second son of the emperor, but Plebeian is the big one. Plebeian refers to all free(not slave) common Roman citizens who were not members of the patrician, senatorial or equestrian classes(land owners). Depending on the ministers ancestry that is a huge insult either way.
Darko
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Unless the guy asking is literally white skinned, has red markings, is very muscular and bald, plus wields two wicked looking blades.
Though if he has a large beard and wields an axe then you should be safe.
0zymandias
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I really like this Paul version, the setting and limits on his powers makes it a different flavour to the rest of them. Good on Japan making fun stories for the JSDF, I actually hear so little about them.
Vaermina
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If Mr Zoat is actually playing by the rules of the setting, he can't get his body back.
Or leave.
The Gods of Gate world are forever bound to Gate world. And the only way they can manifest is by taking over the bodies of their believers. But that can only last a few minutes before becoming lethal.
They weren't even accurate ramblings, which just makes it funnier.
Dur'id the Druid
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Oh wow, I did not expect to see this plot again! What a treat!
Aww, we skipped the scene where he and Diablo Ceaser plops down and stops the fighting.
Edit: and I mean the immediate reactions and aftermath of that.
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