"Any idea what that was supposed to achieve?"
"Neigh, we do not." Luna and I look around. "And this room doth not exist in Our Palace."
It was a symbolic movement sequence. You were somewhere, now you're somewhere else...
Well, I should hope not. It looks like a Dungeon Keeper's treasure vault in here. Piles of coins of various denominations… They look Wilsonian, so I'm going to assume that they're taken from Luna's memories. There are gem stones as well, and decorative ornaments which use them to contrast the colour of the precious metals that make up most of their mass. One or two paintings with regal-looking ponies and griffins and… One of a dragon.
Huh, someone has odd tastes.
"This place is a monetarist's nightmare. Why would-?"
"It is another distraction. We must-."
"It's home. For now."
And another one? What's that make? Six?
A stallion with a purple pelt and golden mane and tail walks between the piles, smiling as he sees us. His cutie mark is an upended amphora, coins cascading from the opening.
"Though you're quite right, Prince Grayven. My banker has a fit whenever he sees it."
Huh, someone who actually recognises Grayven's title. That's not good.
"Prince?"
"That statue earlier? He's the ruler of the planet Apokolips. I'm his son."
"And he cursed you with-?"
"He has strange tastes."
"It's a gift; including me in his grand project to eliminate selfhood. A rare favour."
"And you're so ungrateful to him." The stallion shakes his head. "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is. And you, Luna-."
"You would name him 'prince' and yet deny Us Our rightful title?"
Well, technically...
"A pity-prize granted you by Princess Celestia. Equestria doesn't really need you, as you know well."
"Yes. We do. Though that shall not prevent Us from placing Ourself in its service. We shall earn Our place once more."
...Yes. Equestria must have been in a flap about what Kuna's status as Princess meant now. They've been ruled by a single Princess for a millenium. What does a second one mean? Do they rule together? Take turns? Will Luna go somewhere to rule there? I can imagine the concern in the upper nobility.
I nod approvingly. "Good attitude. I'll help."
"I can as well."
Yeah, they don't want whatever help you're offering...
"We doubt that."
"Oh, but I can. You see, each of the five of us want different things, and… Not all of those desires are best fulfilled by working together."
Fascinating. Almost like a dark mirror of...
"Who are you, and what do you want?"
"Now we're getting somewhere. I'm Spoiled Prince, the most generous of us all. You.. want to get out of here with your minds and souls in one piece and I'm happy to help."
Just as long as he can follow in their wake? How mercenary.
"We are somewhat sceptical. What are you?"
"Generosity. More or less. I would happily give away all that I have, and ask nothing in return but to be thought well of. And what I have for you is information."
I see. He values nothing of what he has, so giving it away means nothing to him. What sort of generosity is that?
"The first of you We encountered. The knight."
"Forsaken Vanguard. Our Illustrious Overlord told him to go, so he went. That's what he is."
"He is loyalty, then."
Blind loyalty. Unreasoning obedience.
I snort. "He's mindlessly obedient. That's it, isn't it? You're the Elements with parts missing. Forsaken Vanguard can't… What, can't disobey, can't use his own judgement?"
"Our Illustrious Overlord doesn't care about us, obviously. It sends us out without much caring if we can do what it wants."
Much like what Darkseid does with the Lowlies, and even His soldiers.
"Oh, I see. No one who treats those loyal to them that way deserves that loyalty. Having faith in the faithless is inherently self-destructive, which in turn undermines the appeal and value of loyalty."
"Yes, you see, it's rather sophisticated-."
It's horrifying, that's what it is...
"It's irrelevant. Luna, what do you hate?"
"We have always endeavoured to rise above-."
Not 'Politely dislike', Luna. Hate with all your being.
"Hehhahhahhahhah!"
"Oh.. dear."
Luna turns her head towards the sound. "Who is that?
Crud, more of them turning up. That can't be good.
"Broken Jester. He can keep laughing through any problem… But I'm not sure that laughter is what you need at the moment."
I snort. "Fine. You want to survive. What is your offer?"
Again: "What do you want?" I can tell that's going to be a running joke here.
"Our Illustrious Overlord won't let Luna leave. It can't; it literally exists to make her miserable. But I can. If you let me I can trot out of here into the dreams of another. I can alert whomsoever you wish. And then it would be a simple matter to alert Princess Celestia or have Prince Grayven conveyed to the Tree of Harmony to have any left within him purged."
"But thou wouldn't be safe."
And running loose about the minds of Equestria. I'd say that'll be a hard 'No'.
"Ain't that a gag?!"
The Broken Jester stumbles into sight. And I do mean 'stumbles'. His legs are badly burned and trembling and he appears to be having trouble moving them properly. Which is the least of his problems. His eyes have been gouged out, and the remains of his eyes are smeared around their orbits. He's also carrying some sort of wound in his abdomen…
Wait, those injuries...
Eyes. And abdomen. And burns.
"Luna, you're better at dream navigation than me." I scoop up the closest coin and hold it out to her. "What is this connected to?"
He caught it too...
"It is simply-." She blinks. "A.. coin I saw upon one of the stands on the night of my return. It is literally-."
I scoop up another as Spoiled Prince scowls.
Yeah, your fortune is stolen, isn't it? No wonder you're so generous, spending other people's money.
"And this one?"
"It was on the top of the coins in the chest given to us by Chief Æthelgriff by means of reparations. And-" She looks aside. "-this was next to it, and this…"
It's
all stolen, isn't it? Not the money, the Ponies.
"Broken Jester is showing some of my more serious injuries. They're taking bits from us to make themselves."
"If they can do that… Granting him access to other dreams would-."
Yep. None of them can be allowed to leave. They'd destroy the world just because they can.
"How perceptive! Yes, yes, we'd strip them of every memory until we were strong enough to enter the real world. But oh well. We already have enough from you to-."
A coin pile to our left explodes as Twisted Caretaker leaps out, dozens of-. Ow, suddenly sharpened metal discs bite into my face and armour.
And twisted Kindness. She's going to take care of you, all right. Even if she has to hurt you herself...
"Surprise! We're going to empty everyone out slowly, and I'll hold them and stroke their manes as their minds collapse!"
Behind us, a pile of coins is shoved aside, the Forsaken Vanguard wading into position with shield and halberd at the ready.
And foolish Loyalty.
"I do as I am-"
The Elements of Harmony.
"-bid."
Elements twisted into cursed, mad reflections. Truly insidious.
"You're actually compatible with the Elements of Harmony, aren't you? You could make a run at the Tree."
Another pile slides aside to reveal Yelling Fool.
"That's what I was told!"
Honesty. Cruel, unthinking honesty with no concern for the harm it causes.
Spoiled Prince smiles at his fellows.
"I could hardly deny them their ambition. And don't all ponies want to become more virtuous?"
But... There's one missing, isn't there?
"Luna-."
"In fact…"
Their eyes light up and rainbow lights dance around them.
"Didn't you want to be exposed to the Elements?"
Not
these elements. I wouldn't be surprised if the Tantaquation is acting as the sixth element.
