"Yes?"
She shuffles slightly on her… Fainting couch thing? Chaise lounge? I've been a pony for less than a day and I already know that lying down or standing are both more comfortable than sitting. Our body structures aren't really designed for it, which has a knock-on effect to how ponies pose in social situations. Luna found a solid-looking couch for me to lie on, and so far it's bearing the burden of my considerable weight well.
Yeah, only a few weirdo ponies sit upright. Like Lyra. And equine physiology is very limited in postures and resting positions.
"You mentioned that you found Us-."
Not a fluke, then.
"I'm a 'you' now?"
Don't take it as a sign of romantic interest, Grayven...
"We gained some comprehension of your society when We were studying your dream. You are the son of your people's ruler. 'tis improper to refer to you as Our social inferior."
I look down. "No. Well. At this point I think that I'm informally adopted or something, but as I said: I'm not actually… The original Grayven; the man most people think I am."
But Darkseid declared you Suzerain of Earth. That alone legitimises you. As for accepting you as his son, He clearly wanted to give the other Grayven a good kick in the arse concerning his role.
"And hast Darkseid granted you no lands or titles?"
"Okay… Yes, he granted me a fairly grand-sounding title, and he publically calls me 'son', it's just… You're the only person I've told this to. I haven't even told my children."
Good. A secret is best kept by only
one. The more who know, the more who can reveal it, accidentally or otherwise. Bad enough the Father Box knew it, even partly.
She nods.
"Verily, a disguise which exists in only one direction would in truth be of little value. We cannot offer you pardon for your deception, and We can understand why you maintain it. What plans have you made for its undoing?"
In other words: "What will you do when the shit hits the fan and you get outed?"
"Once Darkseid isn't a problem anymore I'll just confess to the whole thing. I doubt that my children will care much, and everyone else…" I try to wing-shrug but I mostly just get a twitch. "Sorry, I interrupted you; you were saying?"
"Do you truly find Us… Appealing?"
"I wanted to cuddle you the moment I saw you."
Wilsonian Ponies are basically built to be cuteness personified...
Her wings twitch again.
"Our world-."
"I call it 'Wilson'."
And Luna goes "Wat."
She frowns. "For what reason?"
"Sunset told me that this planet didn't have a name, just the individual nations. I picked 'Wilson' pretty much at random, which seems to me to be as fair a way to do it as any."
Heh, remaining true to that long-lost video.
"Very well; our world of Wilson hath many intelligent species 'pon it, but… Intimate relations between them are usually limited to those which hath similar morphologies. You are naturally a balding bipedal. We are.. curious.. as to… What it is..?"
"Why I find a fur-covered quadruped appealing?" She nods. "It's not.. exactly.. erotic appeal. I… My original species was 'human', and while we're savannah-adapted apes, our distant ancestors were a lot hairier than us. And ponies have proportionally larger eyes than we do, in a way which.. in our species, is something our babies have. So some instinctual part of me is designed to find that combination of features appealing. But.. on a level with a rose bush in full bloom, or a willow tree gracefully arcing into a pond. While I find you physically appealing, it's not necessarily sexual."
"Think... Think '
cute' like a puppy or a kitten."
"Were you lying about your…" She raises her eyebrows. "Pride?"
"No, that was a response to your behaviour. When I became a New God, some of my attitudes to certain things… Changed. I'm a lot more cerebral in my arousal these days. You're… My type. But I don't want to.. press my suit in a way which would make you uncomfortable. I do like you as an individual as well."
And morphologies are easily adjusted. Why, they have a mirror perfectly equipped to do so.
"We see." She nods again. "How do you intend to follow through on your offer to aid Us?"
"Okay, you're a thousand years out of date. What sort of lessons did Celestia arrange have set up for you when you returned?"
"Lessons?"
...Celestia
did make sure Luna was brought up to speed on modern culture, law, and so forth, didn't she?
"Yes." I nod. "You know, to start learning about all of the cultural and legal changes that have happened over the last thousand years so that you can carry out your duties as diarch from a position of knowledge?"
"Before your arrival last night I spent my time
rearranging the curtains."
<Double-Picard> Oh, gods-damn it,
sun-butt... You had
one job... Please tell me Grayven tells her off when she shows her sparkly hide?
…
"Is that some sort of pony metaphor?"
It'd be a weird one if it was...
"Neigh, it is not." She thinks for a moment. "It… May be one as well -Our use of the modern vernacular is imperfect- but We are not using it as one. Management of the royal household is one of the few areas where We are capable of acting."
…
"What?" I blink. "What? Why are-?" I shake my head. "No, no, a Princess Regent should not be tending to draperies."
Seriously, Celestia had better get one
hell of a dressing down when she turns up...
She looks down. "We are not able to-."
Okay, no. I put my right forehoof on the floor, and…
Um.
Ah, right. No choreography effect, no easy movement. Back to baby steps...
Wiggle my haunches across to the edge of the couch, lower my right leg into the floor, wiggle a little m-.
There's a burst of surprised laughter from Luna as I land on my back, legs waggling helplessly in the air. That'll do for now.

Rings! Do the thing!
I pick myself up and put myself down on my four hooves, then walk around the table and lie down so that my face is close to Luna's.
Then I gently headbutt her in the face.
Oh, my. I hope that isn't the equivalent of some romantic gesture in pony culture...
She blinks in surprise. "What dost-?"
"No moping, no feeling sorry for yourself and no feeling guilty. We're going to work to get you into position to actually function as half of the executive branch. And to start with: you should operate on the strategic level, the instructions given to the pony in charge of decorations, who in turn instructs the maids and stewards who physically change them."
You're assuming she has a night-shift of castle-keeping staff?
"Such ponies do not operate at night. We are not even certain who those ponies are."
"Doesn't matter, because it's probably not worth your time anyway. What else do you do?"
Real jobs, not 'lounging around the house in your underwear' stuff...
"We.. visit the dreams of our little ponies, to keep them safe from their nightmares."
"Are these nightmares generally real, capable of causing death or physical injury, or manifesting into the waking world?"
I would not expect many occurrences of that sort of thing, especially these days. Outside of what she inflicted on herself...
"No, but-."
"Then it's not worth your time, either. At most, you should be gathering a group of psychologist unicorns and teaching them how to do it… Or perhaps your guard's information retrieval specialists. Unless somepony else is doing this already?"
Celestia?
God no, she sleeps like a log.
"Not to the best of Our knowledge."
"Right then. One pony can't possibly reach everyone, but one pony can teach ponies who can teach ponies who can reach all of the most needy. Next… Legal and economic changes. How is your education coming along?"
Hopefully not 'not at all.'
"Slowly. We-."
"I have in my employ a species who can copy knowledge from one mind to another. If you can grab a few legal experts we can sort that out in a few hours."
Does that mean a road-trip to Earth?
"We see."
"Assuming that you want to?"
Try stopping her, Grayven. Go on, just
try.
She stares at me for a moment, then smiles.
"Yes, Grayven. We want to very much."
And
there's what she wants: To be an actual
ruler, not the 'pretty younger sister' who sits around arranging curtains by herself...