Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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I... Don't think it was, but if you can point out an instance of it then I'll correct it.
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I... Don't think it was, but if you can point out an instance of it then I'll correct it.
Luna having to deal with the insanity of DC Earth for even a day will be hilarious."I have in my employ a species who can copy knowledge from one mind to another. If you can grab a few legal experts we can sort that out in a few hours."
"We see."
"Assuming that you want to?"
She stares at me for a moment, then smiles.
"Yes, Grayven. We want to very much."
It definitely is not.
I checked for you. "Party Popper" has been said 18 times, "Pooper" zero times. It was fairly easy to just open the last page of the story only thread and do a Ctrl+F.I... Don't think it was, but if you can point out an instance of it then I'll correct it.
Yeah, you're right, that does make sense. But then, how did the equation come into existence?
Well...This is very wholesome. Heh. Grayven is well on his way to becoming Luna's consort, if this unreserved friendship based on trust and support I see building between them keeps up.
...Fuck, I think I've become a brony. Is this how it starts?
This fic is itself like an Orange power ring. It gives you everything you want in a superhero fanfic, but it turns you into a rampaging bronyThis is very wholesome. Heh. Grayven is well on his way to becoming Luna's consort, if this unreserved friendship based on trust and support I see building between them keeps up.
...Fuck, I think I've become a brony. Is this how it starts?
Heh, that's one pony (of many, now) who takes her job very seriously.Equestrian Guise
Morning
Equestria
"Do.. you..?"
Luna looks away for a moment. We're sitting in her drawing room, the blues and purples not really being displayed to their best in the brilliant sunlight streaming through the windows. Party Popper came with us, then dashed off with a gasp when she realised that she still had to prepare Sunset's Ascension Party.
Yeah, only a few weirdo ponies sit upright. Like Lyra. And equine physiology is very limited in postures and resting positions."Yes?"
She shuffles slightly on her… Fainting couch thing? Chaise lounge? I've been a pony for less than a day and I already know that lying down or standing are both more comfortable than sitting. Our body structures aren't really designed for it, which has a knock-on effect to how ponies pose in social situations. Luna found a solid-looking couch for me to lie on, and so far it's bearing the burden of my considerable weight well.
Don't take it as a sign of romantic interest, Grayven..."You mentioned that you found Us-."
Not a fluke, then.
"I'm a 'you' now?"
But Darkseid declared you Suzerain of Earth. That alone legitimises you. As for accepting you as his son, He clearly wanted to give the other Grayven a good kick in the arse concerning his role."We gained some comprehension of your society when We were studying your dream. You are the son of your people's ruler. 'tis improper to refer to you as Our social inferior."
I look down. "No. Well. At this point I think that I'm informally adopted or something, but as I said: I'm not actually… The original Grayven; the man most people think I am."
Good. A secret is best kept by only one. The more who know, the more who can reveal it, accidentally or otherwise. Bad enough the Father Box knew it, even partly."And hast Darkseid granted you no lands or titles?"
"Okay… Yes, he granted me a fairly grand-sounding title, and he publically calls me 'son', it's just… You're the only person I've told this to. I haven't even told my children."
In other words: "What will you do when the shit hits the fan and you get outed?"She nods.
"Verily, a disguise which exists in only one direction would in truth be of little value. We cannot offer you pardon for your deception, and We can understand why you maintain it. What plans have you made for its undoing?"
Wilsonian Ponies are basically built to be cuteness personified..."Once Darkseid isn't a problem anymore I'll just confess to the whole thing. I doubt that my children will care much, and everyone else…" I try to wing-shrug but I mostly just get a twitch. "Sorry, I interrupted you; you were saying?"
"Do you truly find Us… Appealing?"
"I wanted to cuddle you the moment I saw you."
And Luna goes "Wat."
Heh, remaining true to that long-lost video.She frowns. "For what reason?"
"Sunset told me that this planet didn't have a name, just the individual nations. I picked 'Wilson' pretty much at random, which seems to me to be as fair a way to do it as any."
"Think... Think 'cute' like a puppy or a kitten.""Very well; our world of Wilson hath many intelligent species 'pon it, but… Intimate relations between them are usually limited to those which hath similar morphologies. You are naturally a balding bipedal. We are.. curious.. as to… What it is..?"
"Why I find a fur-covered quadruped appealing?" She nods. "It's not.. exactly.. erotic appeal. I… My original species was 'human', and while we're savannah-adapted apes, our distant ancestors were a lot hairier than us. And ponies have proportionally larger eyes than we do, in a way which.. in our species, is something our babies have. So some instinctual part of me is designed to find that combination of features appealing. But.. on a level with a rose bush in full bloom, or a willow tree gracefully arcing into a pond. While I find you physically appealing, it's not necessarily sexual."
And morphologies are easily adjusted. Why, they have a mirror perfectly equipped to do so."Were you lying about your…" She raises her eyebrows. "Pride?"
"No, that was a response to your behaviour. When I became a New God, some of my attitudes to certain things… Changed. I'm a lot more cerebral in my arousal these days. You're… My type. But I don't want to.. press my suit in a way which would make you uncomfortable. I do like you as an individual as well."
...Celestia did make sure Luna was brought up to speed on modern culture, law, and so forth, didn't she?"We see." She nods again. "How do you intend to follow through on your offer to aid Us?"
"Okay, you're a thousand years out of date. What sort of lessons did Celestia arrange have set up for you when you returned?"
"Lessons?"
<Double-Picard> Oh, gods-damn it, sun-butt... You had one job... Please tell me Grayven tells her off when she shows her sparkly hide?"Yes." I nod. "You know, to start learning about all of the cultural and legal changes that have happened over the last thousand years so that you can carry out your duties as diarch from a position of knowledge?"
"Before your arrival last night I spent my time rearranging the curtains."
It'd be a weird one if it was...
Seriously, Celestia had better get one hell of a dressing down when she turns up..."Neigh, it is not." She thinks for a moment. "It… May be one as well -Our use of the modern vernacular is imperfect- but We are not using it as one. Management of the royal household is one of the few areas where We are capable of acting."
…
"What?" I blink. "What? Why are-?" I shake my head. "No, no, a Princess Regent should not be tending to draperies."
Ah, right. No choreography effect, no easy movement. Back to baby steps...She looks down. "We are not able to-."
Okay, no. I put my right forehoof on the floor, and…
Um.
Rings! Do the thing!Wiggle my haunches across to the edge of the couch, lower my right leg into the floor, wiggle a little m-.
There's a burst of surprised laughter from Luna as I land on my back, legs waggling helplessly in the air. That'll do for now.
Oh, my. I hope that isn't the equivalent of some romantic gesture in pony culture...I pick myself up and put myself down on my four hooves, then walk around the table and lie down so that my face is close to Luna's.
Then I gently headbutt her in the face.
You're assuming she has a night-shift of castle-keeping staff?She blinks in surprise. "What dost-?"
"No moping, no feeling sorry for yourself and no feeling guilty. We're going to work to get you into position to actually function as half of the executive branch. And to start with: you should operate on the strategic level, the instructions given to the pony in charge of decorations, who in turn instructs the maids and stewards who physically change them."
Real jobs, not 'lounging around the house in your underwear' stuff..."Such ponies do not operate at night. We are not even certain who those ponies are."
"Doesn't matter, because it's probably not worth your time anyway. What else do you do?"
I would not expect many occurrences of that sort of thing, especially these days. Outside of what she inflicted on herself..."We.. visit the dreams of our little ponies, to keep them safe from their nightmares."
"Are these nightmares generally real, capable of causing death or physical injury, or manifesting into the waking world?"
Celestia? God no, she sleeps like a log."No, but-."
"Then it's not worth your time, either. At most, you should be gathering a group of psychologist unicorns and teaching them how to do it… Or perhaps your guard's information retrieval specialists. Unless somepony else is doing this already?"
Hopefully not 'not at all.'"Not to the best of Our knowledge."
"Right then. One pony can't possibly reach everyone, but one pony can teach ponies who can teach ponies who can reach all of the most needy. Next… Legal and economic changes. How is your education coming along?"
Does that mean a road-trip to Earth?"Slowly. We-."
"I have in my employ a species who can copy knowledge from one mind to another. If you can grab a few legal experts we can sort that out in a few hours."
Try stopping her, Grayven. Go on, just try.
And there's what she wants: To be an actual ruler, not the 'pretty younger sister' who sits around arranging curtains by herself...She stares at me for a moment, then smiles.
"Yes, Grayven. We want to very much."
Something there is unneccessarily... Mangled.What sort of lessons did Celestia arrange have set up for you when you returned?
Princess Regnant, presumably, unless she only reigns in Celestia's name while she's asleep or something."No, no, a Princess Regent should not be tending to draperies."
Considering all the stuff in Equestria you'd think that those actually exist.
And that checking the stuff that causes nightmares can be important in finding potential hidden dangers in Equestria.
Yeah, only a few weirdo ponies sit upright. Like Lyra. And equine physiology is very limited in postures and resting positions.
Wilsonian Ponies are basically built to be cuteness personified...
Oh, I know about her Night Guard. I meant housework staff, like maids, cooks and secretaries...Bat Ponies are a thing and some seem to serve Luna or at least wear armor with her colors.
It is just me, then. Sorry.I... Don't think it was, but if you can point out an instance of it then I'll correct it.
Hmm. Am I the only one who wants to know what g-gnomes, and related, look like if pony-fied?
In rebuttal:Yeah, only a few weirdo ponies sit upright. Like Lyra. And equine physiology is very limited in postures and resting positions.
But.. on a level with a rose bush in full bloom, or a willow tree gracefully arcing into a pond.
"We.. visit the dreams of our little ponies, to keep them safe from their nightmares."
"Are these nightmares generally real, capable of causing death or physical injury, or manifesting into the waking world?"
You know this raises a question for me, how will his kids react to meeting Luna? Will they fall in love with their new potential princess pony mom? little girls and princesses after all."Once Darkseid isn't a problem anymore I'll just confess to the whole thing. I doubt that my children will care much, and everyone else…" I try to wing-shrug but I mostly just get a twitch.
One would presume the later is linked to the former. Consider:The main problem with Luna is of course that she was gone a thousand years and Eqestria seemingly suffered no issues from this.
Celestia handled the moon, nightmares seemingly were no trouble. The only explanation would be if Nightmare Moon did these things as well, to prove she was a good ruler, but that is never shown.
One could argue that another Alicorn to help defend Eqestria would be valuable...if both sunbutt and moonbutt hadn't proven over and over again how useless they are.
Considering a number of their cities seem to be based on Earth's it's unlikely there isn't at least one city which could earn the name "The city that never sleeps."
Get enough people/ponies together in one place and it becomes extremely convenient to have someone working a night shift. Unless the entire species is magically incapable of staying up at night which seems odd considering they control pretty much all aspects of nature.
Equestria at war created a 4th main pony race specifically so that Luna could fight racism. In canon, the only other widespread race is the crystal ponies. Other races exist, but there's not many of them (Zebras, diamond Dogs, and griffons are discriminated against, but there seems to be very few of them and racism might not be as much of a problem if there were more of them in Equestria (at least for zebras).I wonder if that wing twitch she had when he said he wanted to cuddle her at first sight was an allusion to the dreaded wing-boner.
As for giving Luna the confidence to be a proper ruler, just tell her to fight racism like in Equestria at War. Or maybe she doesn't actually want to rule anymore since apparently Celestia and Luna planned to just fuck off and retire, forcing Twilight to take on the responsibilities of ruling Equestria.
Thank you, corrected.Princess Regnant, presumably, unless she only reigns in Celestia's name while she's asleep or something.
Feels like he's dismissing that way too quickly. After all, dreams are a big enough deal in the DC universe to be worthy of one of the Endless dealing with them.