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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Vantavendi (part 4)
20th October 2012
14:53 GMT -5


I raise my left hand to my ear.

"Orange Lantern Two Eight One Four?"

"Er, hello."

I smile. "Mister Chandler! Are you finally cashing in that free trip?"

"Oh. Ah, no. Renee'd kill me if I tried taking the family anywhere. What with the Sheeda and that."

"We're pretty sure we got them all. And Greece has got literal demigoddesses providing security on the beaches and tourist sites."

"Yeah, heard about that. But it's gunna take a lot more than good sense to convince Renee."

"Alright. Can't productively argue with that. What can I do for you, then?"

"You haven't found John yet, have you?"

"No, but that-. That's just about worked its way to the top of my 'to do' list. I'll keep you informed. Though I…"

"What?"

"Bit awkward, but I found a young man who looks a lot like him in Africa last month. Adopted at birth."

There's a quiet intake of breath. "Is he-? John's? I mean, I wouldn't be all that surprised-."

"No, I-." Scan. "His sister's. She wouldn't have been very old. Do you know her at all? I'm not really sure how to bring it up."

"Nah. I've met her a few times. I mean, she knows who I am, but I don't really know her, know what I mean?"

"Yes. I'll have to do it myself then. It's just… Tact isn't my strongest skill. I'll.. just run it by Diana first. So, yes, if that was why you were phoning, I don't-."

"No. It wasn't." I hear him sigh. "It's stupid really, with all the people the Sheeda killed."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Have you suffered a bereavement?"

"Yeah, yeah. My uncle Tom. Dad's side of the family."

Meaning not related by blood to his maleficious mother. But with both his parents and his brother dead, I… That's that generation of the family gone.

"He was a good bloke, and I-. You know about what happens next, right? When someone dies?"

"I've died twice myself, but I think my experience was atypical. What do you want to know?"

I don't say 'how honest do you want me to be', because that's something I'm going to have to feel out for myself.

"I just… Like you said, you've done this. You know the truth, not that bollocks the vicars an' all tell us. Is my uncle Tom in a better place?"

Um.

"Are you asking me if his soul went to heaven?"

"It doesn't have to be heaven. I know the angels don't really like you."

"No, we got that-." Not the point. "Was your uncle particularly religious? Or.. not particularly religious, but did he believe in God?"

"I don't think so. Is… That it, then?"

"I don't think he would specifically go to the Christian heaven. That doesn't mean that he wouldn't go somewhere nice."

"Doesn't it? What happens to souls with nowhere to go?"

"They.. might be drawn into the dominant mythos, either… The Celtic otherworld, which is… I wouldn't say that it's 'better', but it's okay. Or gone to heaven anyway for living a good Christian life informally."

"Does that happen?"

"Yes. I mean, it's kind of what the Reformation was about. I ended up in Heaven and the angels actually killed me. And there were a few people every year who ended up in Ereb-. The Greek afterlife, because they liked the old stories and didn't practice any particular religion."

"So you don't know where he is."

"It might be possible to work it out for sure, but it would be kind of difficult."

"But he wouldn't have gone to hell."

"Honesty compels me to say that I can't completely rule it out, but it seems unlikely. And the outermost circle of Hell is run by an…" Er. "Ally of mine. He's trying to make it a less horrible place to exist. If he went there, then depending on his general state of health before he died, that could be an improvement."

"Yeah?"

"Mammon is a purely self-interested demon lord. Once I demonstrated that it was in his interests to have good relations with his damned, he was willing to give it a go. So, yeah, 'better' might be pushing it, but I doubt that he'll have gone anywhere particularly bad."

"Okay. Cheers. That's… That's a weight off."

"Happy to help. My regards to Renee and Geraldine."

I let him ring off before lowering my hand.

Huh.

Really, it's… Surprising that more people don't ask that sort of thing. Or that… No one has started some sort of necromancy company or something.

Ah well.

I

step out and

appear inside the Themysciran embassy, close to the portal. I couldn't feel Diana, so I'm assuming-.

"Oh, here's the little card shark now!"

I raise my hand to greet Ted Grant, Diana… Apparently showing him around. My eyes are… Sliding off her, something about her actively interfering with my exotic abilities.

"Mister Grant. Diana, I… Don't know what that is, but-" I smile. "-well done for getting it."

"There are only so many times you can comment on my lack of defences before I correct it. What brings you here?"

"I've got a job that requires tact and subtlety, so I thought that it would be a good idea to get some advice."

She nods.

"So it seems that I'm not the only one who can learn."
 
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I smile. "Mister Chandler! Are you finally cashing in that free trip

Ohh, shit.

We may finally be seeing Constantine.

"Yes. I'll have to do it myself then. It's just… Tact isn't my strongest skill

No shit.

"Yes. I mean, it's kind of what the Reformation was about. I mean, I ended up in Heaven and the angels actually killed me

Though that was mostly because of Boss Smiley.

Really, it's… Surprising that more people don't ask that sort of thing

They may not want to know if the person they loved or hated is in the proper afterlife.

Or that… No one has started some sort of necromancy company or something.

Who knows, there may be some small business that does that.

Though again, people may be comfortable with not knowing.

Plus with magic becoming more and more accepted, it's likely that some forms would become illegal due to their dangers.

I raise my hand to greet Ted Grant, Diana… Apparently showing him around. My eyes are… Sliding off her, something about her actively interfering with my exotic abilities

So Diana learned a new trick.

"I've got a job that requires tact and subtlety, so I thought that it would be a good idea to get some advice."

She nods.

"So it seems that I'm not the only one who can learn

Hah!

Zoat, what does the title of this episode mean?
 
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Pretty much. The full story is in issue 5, with important parts not mentioned until issue 7. Basically, an arms trader bribed some poorly paid Eternian guards to let him move a shipment. One of them, a guy called Nolar Blok, took the money and informed his superior what was happening. As a result, He-Man got the arms dealer and the other guards. However, those guards had friends and Blok got discharged. A while after that, Evelyn 'accentually' bumped into him in disguise and -after a little horizontal persuasion- convinced him that if he helped her get a magic gem, she'd be able to get away from that horrid Keldor and they could start a life together.

Canonically, that went about as well as you'd think.
She needs to date a magic eater. Seriously. That's messed up.
 
I raise my hand to greet Ted Grant, Diana… Apparently showing him around. My eyes are… Sliding off her, something about her actively interfering with my exotic abilities.

"Mister Grant. Diana, I… Don't know what that is, but-" I smile. "-well done for getting it."

"There are only so many times you can comment on my lack of defences before I correct it. What brings you here?"
It's nice to see Diana is tapping more into her esoteric abilities. Mr Zoat, does this mean she is slowly growing into her role as a goddess? Also, can she do Diana 666's trick of returning into the Earth in order to heal/cleanse herself?
 
It's nice to see Diana is tapping more into her esoteric abilities. Mr Zoat, does this mean she is slowly growing into her role as a goddess? Also, can she do Diana 666's trick of returning into the Earth in order to heal/cleanse herself?

Possibly.

When Renegade was fighting Diana 50 he told her that if she wished to regain her blessings, she would have to go to a sacred grove.

If he knew that then it's likely he learned it from Diana or another Amazon, so Diana 16 may also be able to do it.
 
20th October 2012
14:53 GMT -5


I raise my left hand to my ear.

"Orange Lantern Two Eight One four?"

Quite rare for OL to get a phone call, isn't it? Presumably a mundane acquaintance, since those he considers allies would have other ways of getting in touch. Or else he's about to give one hell of a phone interview, again.

"Er, hello."

I smile. "Mister Chandler! Are you finally cashing in that free trip?"
Ah, Chas. Constantine's regular driver, old buddy and rare survivor of some of his cases.

"Oh. Ah, no. Renee'd kill me if I tried taking the family anywhere. What with the Sheeda and that."

"We're pretty sure we got them all. And Greece has got literal demigoddesses providing security on the beaches and tourist sites."
If they went there, I suspect Renee would kill him for other reasons. If you know what I mean? ;)

"Yeah, heard about that. But it's gunna take a lot more than good sense to convince Renee."

"Alright. Can't productively argue with that. What can I do for you, then?"
Ah, OL, you grow wise in the ways of relationships at last: You don't argue with the missus' decisions.

"You haven't found John yet, have you?"

"No, but that-. That's just about worked its way to the top of my 'to do' list. I'll keep you informed. Though I…"
Should think it's be pretty close to number one by now. And long overdue.

"What?"

"Bit awkward, but I found a young man who looks a lot like him in Africa last month. Adopted at birth."
Ah, yes. This will be interesting.

There's a quiet intake of breath. "Is he-? John's? I mean, I wouldn't be all that surprised-."

"No, I-." Scan. "His sister's. She wouldn't have been very old. Do you know her at all? I'm not really sure how to bring it up."
A reminder: Cheryl Masters. Can't remember if we've seen her in story yet, but it probably would have been during the Split. I remember OL checking in on Gemma... And gaining his second Construct Lantern.

"Nah. I've met her a few times. I mean, she knows who I am, but I don't really know her, know what I mean?"

"Yes. I'll have to do it myself then. It's just… Tact isn't my strongest skill. I'll.. just run it by Diana first. So, yes, if that was why you were phoning, I don't-."
Yeah, when in doubt, call backup.

"No. It wasn't." I hear him sigh. "It's stupid really, with all the people the Sheeda killed."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Have you suffered a bereavement?"
It'd be a rare human who didn't lose someone related to them during the Sheeda thing.

"Yeah, yeah. My uncle Tom. Dad's side of the family."

Meaning not related by blood to his maleficious mother. But with both his parents and his brother dead, I… That's that generation of the family gone.
Said mother is the reason John even met Chas - she ran a hotel he stayed at for a time, and was a black witch.

"He was a good bloke, and I-. You know about what happens next, right? When someone dies?"

"I've died twice myself, but I think my experience was atypical. What do you want to know?"
You bet your bippy your experience is atypical. :p Most people don't get to die twice at all.

I don't say 'how honest do you want me to be', because that's something I'm going to have to feel out for myself.

"I just… Like you said, you've done this. You know the truth, not that bollocks the vicars an' all tell us. Is my uncle Tom in a better place?"
:eek: Wait, OL recognising he might be a bit too blunt for his own good? Are we looking at an alternate universe?

Um.

"Are you asking me if his soul went to heaven?"
Not likely, given the criteria are pretty hard to hit. Sometimes. Things are really inconsistent on that front.

"It doesn't have to be heaven. I know the angels don't really like you."

"No, we got that-." Not the point. "Was your uncle particularly religious? Or.. not particularly religious, but did he believe in God?"
More notably, did he have a chance to repent his sins, or the like? I assume he was Protestant...

"I don't think so. Is… That it, then?"

"I don't think he would specifically go to the Christian heaven. That doesn't mean that he wouldn't go somewhere nice."
Vague, but slightly reassuring. About as good as you can manage, OL. Points for trying.

"Doesn't it? What happens to souls with nowhere to go?"

"They.. might be drawn into the dominant mythos, either… The Celtic otherworld, which is… I wouldn't say that it's 'better', but it's okay. Or gone to heaven anyway for living a good Christian life informally."
Sounds unlikely, on the Celtic front... More likely he got snatched up by the Silver City... Or the other place.

"Does that happen?"

"Yes. I mean, it's kind of what the Reformation was about. I mean, I ended up in Heaven and the angels actually killed me. And there were a few people every year who ended up in Ereb-. The Greek afterlife, because they liked the old stories and didn't practice any particular religion."
Best to generalise on the non-Christian front. I don't think Chas is in the mood for lessons on comparative mythology/religion.

"So you don't know where he is."

"It might be possible to work it out for sure, but it would be kind of difficult."
Just don't go trying necromancy, you know how the Angels are about that.

"But he wouldn't have gone to hell."

"Honesty compels me to say that I can't completely rule it out, but it seems unlikely. And the outermost circle of Hell is run by an…" Er. "Ally of mine. He's trying to make it a less horrible place to exist. If he went there, then depending on his general state of health before he died, that could be an improvement."
Kind of hard to sugar-coat that you basically own a Lord of Hell. Especially if Chas knows what that means from Johnny-boy.

"Yeah?"

"Mammon is a purely self-interested demon lord. Once I demonstrated that it was in his interests to have good relations with his damned, he was willing to give it a go. So, yeah, 'better' might be pushing it, but I doubt that he'll have gone anywhere particularly bad."
Saying 'yeah, he's okay... For a Lord of Hell.' Is kind of awkward, huh?

"Okay. Cheers. That's… That's a weight off."

"Happy to help. My regards to Renee and Geraldine."
Not that they know him beyond 'The Cake Man', I guess.

I let him ring off before lowering my hand.

Huh.

Really, it's… Surprising that more people don't ask that sort of thing. Or that… No one has started some sort of necromancy company or something.
It's better to not know and hope, than ask and have those hopes dashed.

Ah well.

I step out and appear inside the Themysciran embassy, close to the portal. I couldn't feel Diana, so I'm assuming-.
Should you be more worried about that, or...

"Oh, here's the little card shark now!"

I raise my hand to greet Ted Grant, Diana… Apparently showing him around. My eyes are… Sliding off her, something about her actively interfering with my exotic abilities.
...Huh, she's actually found something to foil Empathic Vision? I'm guessing it applies to other mental interactions too. No doubt Manhunter has an exception written in.

"Mister Grant. Diana, I… Don't know what that is, but-" I smile. "-well done for getting it."

"There are only so many times you can comment on my lack of defences before I correct it. What brings you here?"
Holy shit, someone actually took OL's advice without a world-ending crisis or near-fatal change of heart? :confused: Colour me shocked!

"I've got a job that requires tact and subtlety, so I thought that it would be a good idea to get some advice."

She nods.

"So it seems that I'm not the only one who can learn."
Ha! Good thing OL has a Power Ring, or he'd need some cream for that burn. :D

So, looks like we might be getting to the meat of the episode, then. Presumably, the search for John Constantine. What's the bet that OL runs all over the world poking his nose into some nasty corners, and slapping down anything that tries to bite it off... Only for John to step out of a shadowy alley after he's given up and ask if 'he's done running around like a headless chook?' :p Because that would be a very chaotically Constantine thing to do.
 
I raise my left hand to my ear.

"Orange Lantern Two Eight One four?"
I just realized. Shouldn't that say Illustres? Or is he using what people on Earth would be more likely to remember? Also, if that's not a mistake, 'four' should be capitalized.

A reminder: Cheryl Masters. Can't remember if we've seen her in story yet, but it probably would have been during the Split. I remember OL checking in on Gemma... And gaining his second Construct Lantern.
I believe we first saw her in Episode 110: Maladaptive, when Paul goes to pick up Gemma so that they can meet the mysterious person, later revealed to be Richard Simpson, who said he know where her uncle John was.

Kind of hard to sugar-coat that you basically own a Lord of Hell. Especially if Chas knows what that means from Johnny-boy.
That seems a bit much. I'd say they're more allies of convenience than a superior and subordinate position. Paul mentioned that if he tried to make Mammon do something he really wouldn't want to do that the demon could undo the alterations put on his, I'm not sure what to call it. Would it be 'soul', or something else since he's a naturally formed demon? Metaphysique I guess?

Not that they know him beyond 'The Cake Man', I guess.
No, they know him more than that. Though they probably see him as someone to avoid if they don't need him, similar to John.
 
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Quite rare for OL to get a phone call, isn't it? Presumably a mundane acquaintance, since those he considers allies would have other ways of getting in touch. Or else he's about to give one hell of a phone interview, again

His allies may also just prefer the phone.

Ah, Chas. Constantine's regular driver, old buddy and rare survivor of some of his cases

In the TV show they gave an explanation for how he survived so long.

He basically has more than one life.

It was a frankly perfect explanation.

If they went there, I suspect Renee would kill him for other reasons. If you know what I mean

The guy is faithful to his wife.

reminder: Cheryl Masters. Can't remember if we've seen her in story yet, but it probably would have been during the Split. I remember OL checking in on Gemma... And gaining his second Construct Lantern

I think she dhowed up during the Tech god episode.

Tgough that could have just been her husband.

:eek: Wait, OL recognising he might be a bit too blunt for his own good? Are we looking at an alternate universe

Maybe Common Sense Paul has merging with him.

Kind of hard to sugar-coat that you basically own a Lord of Hell. Especially if Chas knows what that means from Johnny-boy

Well, Paul doesn't own him so much as influenced him that one time.
 
Plus with magic becoming more abs mire accepted, it's likely that some dorms would become illegal due to their dangers.
I'm sorry?
Zoat, what does the title of this episode mean?
A small amount of absolute blackness.
It's nice to see Diana is tapping more into her esoteric abilities. Mr Zoat, does this mean she is slowly growing into her role as a goddess? Also, can she do Diana 666's trick of returning into the Earth in order to heal/cleanse herself?
She's actively exploring her arcane abilities. She could probably do it, but that's the sort of thing you don't want to leave to chance.

I just realized. Shouldn't that say Illustres? Or is he using what people on Earth would be more likely to remember? Also, if that's not a mistake, 'four' should be capitalized.
Thank you, corrected.
The guy is faithful to his wife.
Not in All His Engines.
 
It's nice to see Diana is tapping more into her esoteric abilities. Mr Zoat, does this mean she is slowly growing into her role as a goddess? Also, can she do Diana 666's trick of returning into the Earth in order to heal/cleanse herself?

Diana's not a goddess, she's a Titan. Kronos' youngest sister.
 
Titans were described as being more primordial, with the proper birth of one having devastating effects on the world they are born on. Since I can't think of Diana being like that, I assume she will become something akin to a goddess.

According to Zoat, Titans were born directly from the Dreaming, while the likes of the Olympians were born from the thaumosphere.

Diana may be like the Olympians in that regard, though she could be metaphysically a Titan, but if she ascends then her not coming directly from the Dreaming could mean she won't affect the world in the way a Titan coming directly from the Dreaming would.
 
I have to say, I really enjoy the alternate Pauls. I know that we only get small pieces of their stories. But I do hope that before you complete With This Ring we will get a sort of timeline for each one that shows not only what we did see but also what we missed. Also it's nice knowing that Paul is taking Hordak very seriously and plans to deal with him.
 
Vantavendi (part 5)
20th October 2012
15:06 GMT -5


"Really?" I frown. "Because Gotham's so safe that no one feels the need to learn self-defence any more?"

Ted Grant grumps.

"No. Just boxing. Kids are all about 'mixed martial arts' and 'krav manga' these days."

I don't laugh, because this is important to him, and he's very old without any rejuvenation effects.

"Last time I checked, the classes were oversubscribed. And not with henchmen; half of the new people are either from the Alliance or the Congregation. They're keeping all the exercise equipment, but the boxing ring's getting thrown out. It's just not my gym anymore."

"Ted, way back when you started boxing, were there people in your neighbourhood who were critical of you for putting on padded gloves before you punched people?"

"Aaaaaaah..?" He looks a little uncertain, but rallies quickly. "Not if they wanted to keep all their teeth."

"Look, fashions change. Just be happy that the gym's still going, and… Maybe when fashion changes again, it'll go back to incorporating more traditional boxing."

"Sure, but I'm not gunna see that, am I?"

"Should I just nod and smile, or do you actually want to talk about how to bind your soul to the gym?"

Diana theatrically mantles her eyes with her right hand.

"Paul."

"Everyone has a right to their preferred afterlife service provider. I don't see the appeal, but I'm not Mister Grant."

"My choice, huh?" He shrugs. "What are my other options?"

"I highly recommend Erebos. You're guaranteed to have your full mental faculties preserved, and that's not a service most entry level afterlives offer."

"'Entry level? Who do you think I am?!"

"Someone who hasn't paid particular homage to any pagan gods at any point during his life. At this point you're almost certainly bound for Heaven, which… I've been, I don't recommend it, but I'm not you."

"I don't know. I could do with some peace and tranquillity."

"Could you? Would you honestly say that you prefer your peaceful dotage-"

His eyes narrow. "Watch it."

"-to your physically active youth? In Heaven, you're literally put out to pasture until you rise above all of your base instincts and fully unify with the Source. In Erebos, you-."

Ah…

"At the moment, you'd join the back of a very long queue, before eventually-."

"Sounds like poor service provision to me. Why not just open more lanes?"

"Because the Greek divines have gotten used to no one needing them for anything, and need substantial retraining in order to bring them up to the skill level required."

I don't know why Lord Hades instituted a separate judge for blondes, but they can now join the unified queue system like everyone else. That reform also got rid of the fast track for mortal heroes, but I don't think that will be a selling point here.

"But full sophoncy would be restored prior to judgement, and you would be free to converse with others in the queue, or with duly licensed necromancers."

He smiles. "Are you getting commission on this?"

"I tried dating the owner's daughter once. Also, I'm a service-user myself."

"Oh, that's how it is."

"I wouldn't try and sell a product I wasn't prepared to use myself. Ultimately, I will receive exactly the same service provision as you, though I might benefit from the… Ah."

"Time gap?"

"Greater degree of service-provision experience the judges will have acquired by then."

"Hm. Go back to the judgement bit. What sort of sentences do they hand down?"

"The laws of the Greek Gods are mostly self-absorbed. The most serious punishments are doled out to people who've really gotten on their bad side."

Which is why I think that Hades will 'forget' about my case for as long as he can get away with.

"Which means that your comparative lack of interaction is actually to your advantage; none of them have any reason to dislike you. Furthermore, punishments are guaranteed to be finite in duration and clearly explained to the punishee."

"Pushing a rock up a hill is probably pretty good exercise."

"They don't do that one anymore. Too many loopholes. And whatever happens in the Punishment Fields-"

"That's what they call it?"

"-since you don't have a corporeal body any longer, there's no real lasting consequence. Plus, it's a bonding activity. Everyone who's in Erebos has been through it."

"Oh. Like boot camp. That's just-."

Red mist surges up from the ground about three metres away from us-

I frown at Diana as the three of us rise, medium armour appearing around my body. "You warded yourself and not the building?"

"The building is warded, but I'm a demigoddess. I take certain magic easier than bricks and mortar."

Dozen of magic users use various 'mists' as part of their transportation spells, and if this is a Lord of Chaos then I-. Diana's here. I'll talk to them, but it will be the Ophidian and me doing the talking together.

A woman -oh no- wearing a long leather coat strides out of the mist like some sort of Matrix extra, two handguns rising up and aiming despite the red blindfold across her eyes. Crimson Avenger 2, whose name I don't know-

Scan doesn't work so I can't find out.

-and who I remember from the comic tried to kill Ted for falsifying evidence which led to a man being executed for a crime he didn't commit. Or rather, did kill him several times, which he survived due to having eight extra lives.

Ours doesn't have that.

Diana steps forward, interposing herself between the armed woman she doesn't recognise and…

Oh. A little harsh, but mostly fair.

Me, because she doesn't want me killing whoever this is.

"I am Diana, Princess of-."

The guns come up and fire!
 
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"The building is warded, but I'm a demigoddess. I take certain magic easier than bricks and mortar."
If I recall correctly, Diana thought of herself more as an empowered Amazon than a demigoddess. Mr Zoat, when did she start admitting to herself that's she is one? And is this part of why she can now use more esoteric abilities?

A woman -oh no- wearing a long leather coat strides out of the mist like some sort of Matrix extra, two handguns rising up and aiming despite the red blindfold across her eyes. Crimson Avenger 2, whose name I don't know-

Scan doesn't work so I can't find out.

-and who I remember from the comic tried to kill Ted for falsifying evidence which led to a man being executed for a crime he didn't commit. Or rather, did kill him several times, which he survived due to having eight extra lives.

Ours doesn't have that.

Diana steps forward, interposing herself between the armed woman she doesn't recognise and…

Oh. A little harsh, but mostly fair.

Me, because she doesn't want me killing whoever this is.

"I am Diana, Princess of-."

The guns come up and fire!
I'm uncertain how things are going to progress now. I wonder if this will be another opportunity for Paul to reveal knowledge he's dug up and not told anyone. I'd be happy to see him give exposition on what's happening, to the surprise of his audience, if that's the case.
 
"-to your physically active youth? In Heaven, you're literally put out to pasture until you rise above all of your base instincts and fully unify with the Source. In Erebos, you-."
I will point out, Paragon knows this isn't true, and its kind of amazing that Diana isn't calling him out on it given SHE WAS ACTUALLY THERE.
 
20th October 2012
15:06 GMT -5


"Really?" I frown. "Because Gotham's so safe that no one feels the need to learn self-defence any more?"

Ted Grant grumps.
Ha! Despite Batman's deepest wish, that'll never happen. Though I wonder what brought them to visit Ted Grant. On the other hand, 'grump' is a good description of his usually behaviour, at least in the modern age. Joy of being in his 90s.

"No. Just boxing. Kids are all about 'mixed martial arts' and 'krav manga' these days."

I don't laugh, because this is important to him, and he's very old without any rejuvenation effects.
No doubt he's refused any offer. Wildcat always struck me as one to not try and stretch things beyond 'his fair shake.'

"Last time I checked, the classes were oversubscribed. And not with henchmen; half of the new people are either from the Alliance or the Congregation. They're keeping all the exercise equipment, but the boxing ring's getting thrown out. It's just not my gym anymore."

"Ted, way back when you started boxing, were there people in your neighbourhood who were critical of you for putting on padded gloves before you punched people?"
Indeed. Way back at the turn of the 1900s, boxing was a bare-knuckle affair. But authorities got sick of people dying. Yes, I know, people argue over whether gloves are safer... Let's not work that punching bag, shall we?

"Aaaaaaah..?" He looks a little uncertain, but rallies quickly. "Not if they wanted to keep all their teeth."

"Look, fashions change. Just be happy that the gym's still going, and… Maybe when fashion changes again, it'll go back to incorporating more traditional boxing."
...Ehhh. Not with the popularity of UFC-style competitions...

"Sure, but I'm not gunna see that, am I?"

"Should I just nod and smile, or do you actually want to talk about how to bind your soul to the gym?"
Oh, that'd be pleasant. Having a ghostly Ted hanging around grousing about people's striking technique.

Diana theatrically mantles her eyes with her right hand.

"Paul."
Bet she hasn't missed that in the time since she last worked with him.

"Everyone has a right to their preferred afterlife service provider. I don't see the appeal, but I'm not Mister Grant."

"My choice, huh?" He shrugs. "What are my other options?"
Please, don't tell me OL has a brochure...

"I highly recommend Erebos. You're guaranteed to have your full mental faculties preserved, and that's not a service most entry level afterlives offer."

"'Entry level? Who do you think I am?!"
Surely he'd deserve the Hero package. ...The good hero, not the asshole hero pack.

"Someone who hasn't paid particular homage to any pagan gods at any point during his life. At this point you're almost certainly bound for Heaven, which… I've been, I don't recommend it, but I'm not you."

"I don't know. I could do with some peace and tranquillity."
Unfortunately, unless you get into the bit of Heaven comics Green Arrow spent time in until 'Quiver', it's not all lounging on clouds and ogling cute angels.

"Could you? Would you honestly say that you prefer your peaceful dotage-"

His eyes narrow. "Watch it."
True, he hardly needs anyone doting on him. Because that's what that word basically actually means: Caring for the old or infirm...

"-to your physically active youth? In Heaven, you're literally put out to pasture until you rise above all of your base instincts and fully unify with the Source. In Erebos, you-."

Ah…
I suspect OL is a bit biased, because of his unpleasant personal experience...

"At the moment, you'd join the back of a very long queue, before eventually-."

"Sounds like poor service provision to me. Why not just open more lanes?"
Because there's only so many Judges to go around. And I doubt Hades has that many candidates to train up new ones.

"Because the Greek divines have gotten used to no one needing them for anything, and need substantial retraining in order to bring them up to the skill level required."

I don't know why Lord Hades instituted a separate judge for blondes, but they can now join the unified queue system like everyone else. That reform also got rid of the fast track for mortal heroes, but I don't think that will be a selling point here.
...If it were any other God, I might think he's taking a personal interest in the blondes. But I'm guessing it was a regional thing.

"But full sophoncy would be restored prior to judgement, and you would be free to converse with others in the queue, or with duly licensed necromancers."

He smiles. "Are you getting commission on this?"
Hey, I'm sure anything that gets a good word in with Hades...

"I tried dating the owners' daughter once. Also, I'm a service-user myself."

"Oh, that's how it is."
"I'm not just an employee, I'm also a client!" Though this is hardly the Hair Club For Men...

"I wouldn't try and sell a product I wasn't prepared to use myself. Ultimately, I will receive exactly the same service provision as you, though I might benefit from the… Ah."

"Time gap?"
To be honest, if OL ever dies permanently, it will likely be a long, long time from now. And it's not likely to mean he'll stay that way.

"Greater degree of service-provision experience the judges will have acquired by then."

"Hm. Go back to the judgement bit. What sort of sentences do they hand down?"
Ah, well... I'm sure you've heard of a few of them. Tantalus... Sisyphus... Pirithous... Well, that last one isn't as well known. Thank you, Overly Sarcastic productions!

"The laws of the Greek Gods are mostly self-absorbed. The most serious punishments are dolled out to people who've really gotten on their bad side."

Which is why I think that Hades will 'forget' about my case for as long as he can get away with.
And why he has once-mortal judges for the little people.

"Which means that your comparative lack of interaction is actually to your advantage; none of them have any reason to dislike you. Furthermore, punishments are guaranteed to be finite in duration and clearly explained to the punishee."

"Pushing a rock up a hill is probably pretty good exercise."
...You might be the only guy to think of it that way. Not so much fun if there's a Fury or similar behind you lashing you to work.

"They don't do that one anymore. Too many loopholes. And whatever happens in the Punishment Fields-"

"That's what they call it?"
I'm sure the name is more stylish in the original Attican Hellenic, but... Being a Chtonic deity means a lot of Hades' cult is a Mystery, forgotten today.

"-since you don't have a corporeal body any longer, there's no real lasting consequence. Plus, it's a bonding activity. Everyone who's in Erebos has been through it."

"Oh. Like boot camp. That's just-."
Minus the screaming drill sergeants. Maybe?

Red mist surges up from the ground about three metres away from us-

I frown at Diana as the three of us rise, medium armour appearing around my body. "You warded yourself and not the building?"
Oh, this looks familiar...

"The building is warded, but I'm a demigoddess. I take certain magic easier than bricks and mortar."

Dozen of magic users use various 'mists' as part of their transportation spells, and if this is a Lord of Chaos then I-. Diana's here. I'll talk to them, but it will be the Ophidian and me doing the talking together.
And if they don't play nice... Well, I'm sure Best Snek will enjoy the meal.

A woman -oh no- wearing a long leather coat strides out of the mist like some sort of Matrix extra, two handguns rising up and aiming despite the red blindfold across her eyes. Crimson Avenger 2, whose name I don't know-

Scan doesn't work so I can't find out.
One of the few women to bear the name...

-and who I remember from the comic tried to kill Ted for falsifying evidence which led to a man being executed for a crime he didn't commit. Or rather, did kill him several times, which he survived due to having eight extra lives.

Ours doesn't have that.
...That you know of? I mean, a guy's got to have some secrets after 90 years...

Diana steps forward, interposing herself between the armed woman she doesn't recognise and…

Oh. A little harsh, but mostly fair.
Well, you do have a lot of blood red in your ledger. And I doubt that gets wiped clean each time you revive.

Me, because she doesn't want me killing whoever this is.

"I am Diana, Princess of-."

The guns come up and fire!
Notably, she bears the cursed handguns which symbolise the name. They have no trigger, and hunger for the deaths of those involved in the deaths of the innocent unjust killings. Their bullets can pierce mundane, super-human and mystical defences... So Diana might not want to tank them.

Oh, boy. This can't bode well. The big question, is who is she here for? Yes, Ted technically has blood on his hands, but so do Diana and OL. On the up side, I don't foresee OL or Diana letting the young lady's condition stand for long. Though I doubt anything so prosaic as a Mage-Slayer will be enough to destroy the Guns. I suppose we'll see tomorrow, with some guns akimbo action.

The most serious punishments are dolled out to people...
The most serious punishments are doled out to people...
 
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Indeed. Way back at the turn of the 1900s, boxing was a bare-knuckle affair. But authorities got sick of people dying. Yes, I know, people argue over whether gloves are safer... Let's not work that punching bag, shall we?

Heck, a few months ago there was a debate about boxing safety on this site.

Bet she hasn't missed that in the time since she last worked with him.

No, I don't think she has.

Please, don't tell me OL has a brochure...

You know damn well that he could have one.

Surely he'd deserve the Hero package. ...The good hero, not the asshole hero pack.

I don't think the ancient Greeks made a distinction.

Unfortunately, unless you get into the bit of Heaven comics Green Arrow spent time in until 'Quiver', it's not all lounging on clouds and ogling cute angels.

I don't think Oliver would ogle angels.

Granted, according to Peacemaker and Economos, Green Arrow is an MLP fan and goes to conventions dressed in the back half of a Twilight Sparkle costume, so who knows what goes on in his head.

I suspect OL is a bit biased

More than a bit.

.If it were any other God, I might think he's taking a personal interest in the blondes. But I'm guessing it was a regional thing

The three judges are in charge of people from specific continents, so most likely.

...You might be the only guy to think of it that way

Sisyphus from Hades may also think that.

Notably, she bears the cursed handguns which symbolise the name. They have no trigger, and hunger for the deaths of those involved in the deaths of the innocent

Though that's not fully accurate, since the man Ted framed wasn't innocent.

Oh, boy. This can't bode well. The big question, is who is she here for? Yes, Ted technically has blood on his hands, but so do Diana and OL

Yep.
 

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