FreeGod
If you see a God on the road fuck it!
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I admit that Lois Lane is definitely a woman who can take any amount of sass from others, which makes me cool my jets when she dishes out sass. If this were a boxing match, that rebuke/counter would have her seeing stars though and I'd be cheering in the crowd."And you want Superman to teach you how to be a real hero?"
"Ask the people of Tamaran whether or not I'm a real hero.
Boy, is that going to be an awkward, confusing explanation. I presume she does know about Kal's little trip to Earth-666, and the alternate Kara. Still, 'I accidentally found an alternate Earth where the JSA are basically world-wide law enforcement, and something there rattled me' should cover it...15th December 2012
08:53 GMT -5
"So why exactly have you been following Superman around?"
"That's a fairly deep rabbit hole, Ms. Lane. Are you sure you want to know?"
Well, it's your peace of mind to throw away or not.
Try... More of a non-lethal hero. Sort of recalibrate his responses on Earth to not go straight for the railguns."Alright. I'm trying to learn classical superheroism. I grew up during the dark age of comics, which means that I'm more familiar with grim and gritty superpeople, or deconstructions of classic archetypes. I myself have managed to be merely ruthlessly utilitarian, but I've still killed an awful lot of people."
"And you want Superman to teach you how to be a real hero?"
Yeah, on other planets, he's fairly well-known... Especially after he leaves. But on Earth? 'Cake Man'."Ask the people of Tamaran whether or not I'm a real hero. No, I want Superman to teach me… How to be a nice hero."
"Uh-huh. How's it going?"
Meanwhile, in Lex's Office: "Why is he just sitting there? Watching... Just watching..." His left eye twitches as his nerves wear thinner and thinner...I look up to where Kal-El is sitting on the edge of a building in the Thinker pose, eyes glowering directly at the LexCorp building.
"I… Think it's going badly wrong." … "Um, can we have a.. private talk about this?"
Yeah, being a quarter of the planet away should make it a bit harder for Kal to overhear. He's not Silver-Age 'hear a gnat fart from a parsec away' levels, after all."Let's."
One transition later and we appear in my facility in Bir Tawil.
Heh. Now she can cut loose without tarnishing Clark's image of her, huh?
Goddamit, OL. Did you manage to break Superman by accident?"What did you say to him?"
"Just… Pointed out the opportunity costs involved with certain forms of… Civic mindedness." Um. "Look this place is pretty secure, but do you want to do this inside..?"
Heh, telling the defences not to kill on sight, huh? Supes might be a bit miffed if Miss Lane gets singed...She strides past me through the heavy metal doors into the interior of the facility. I wince and then follow her, signalling the facility's system to engage intermediate security measures.
"How bad-?"
OL, what did you say? See, this is why the League is wary around you! Forget the giant orange snake and the tendency towards lethal force. You broke Superman! By talking!"I have-" She wheels to face me. "-never heard him doubt himself like he did yesterday."
"Sorry."
Lois? Feel free to bounce his head off a wall for a few minutes, it'll make you feel better."Then why the hell did you do it?!"
"Because I wanted to know why he does what he does and it sounds like he just never considered going it a different way. I was.. sort of hoping he had a better reason than that."
OL? Mouth. Stop. Stop with the words please."Jesus."
"If you're familiar with the Book of Job, I think that the correct Christian response to-."
Surprised you didn't do the 'zipper closing' gag with a construct. But then, this is no time for comedy..."Stop. Talking."
I raise my right hand towards her, palm facing her. Then I put it over my mouth.
Neither does anyone else. I suspect you could build a few houses with the bricks that would be shat."Do you really want to see what happens if S-. If Clark adopts your way of doing things?"
I shake my head.
Don't play the fool, OL. You're already halfway there already."Someone doesn't need to be Thomas Aquinas to be a good person!" I nod. "So what do you want?"
I stand there for a mom-.
I'm wondering why that would trigger him the way it has... Please, do elaborate, OL.She rolls her eyes. "You can talk."
"Have you and him..? Talked about your different lifespans?"
Ah... Yeah, that might be a little depressing...She breathes in, and then sharply breathes out.
"Yes. Once. I know that… Forty years from now I'll be an old woman and he'll look pretty much the same. And that in eighty years from now I'll be dead and he'll still look the same."
Well, never know what good living and a little super-science can do for you..."Actually, human women can make a hundred and twenty-."
"A hundred and ten."
Well. No wonder he's depressed. He's not given the matter that much thought, has he? No wonder he's feeling blue."Um." Her face hardens. "That too. Um. But… Clark Kent will look the same. People.. will notice. Unless you plan on moving and cutting ties with everyone in ten years or so. Clark Kent… He's always going to be Clark Kent. I mean, his identity. But 'Clark Kent, well-intentioned but bumbling reporter'? That has a lifespan. So in eighty… A hundred years, does he pick a new name and a new town and set up a new secret identity? Or… Something else?"
"Hooooooo boy."
I'm betting that'll be a 'I'll cross that bridge when I come to it' process. Or at least he planned to do that, until OL started talking..."See, this is what I do. What I can't stop doing. Think bloody awkward thoughts and ask bloody awkward questions."
"He hasn't told me."
I mean, at worst, he can start spreading a little grey dye into his hair at super-speed... For a while at least. At least one older Superman did just that.
It's a very human thing to do, ignoring it until it actually becomes a problem. You can't be blamed for that."Think he should?"
"I.. think it can wait. God, I never… I never put it in that sort of perspective."
...Yeah, I think enough folks have pointed out the possible continuity error there. No doubt this chapter'll be getting tweaked later, huh? For now, let's carry on as is!"I can Danner you, if you like. That way you can experience it for yourself."
"Ask me again when I've got grey hair."
Though I don't think Lois has quite the character to become, say, Superwoman or something like that..."I can Danner-." She glares, and I think it's supposed to be a fake glare but she isn't quite in the right headspace. "Seriously, though. If it's all about personal connections for him… Small town spirit or… Something, then extending your lifespan could solve some pretty major problems."
I sigh.
Probably for the best. Not sure who he could go to next. Probably not a good idea to visit Billy. Who could be his number three choice?"Captain Marvel once told me that he wouldn't be able to cope with being Captain Marvel all the time. I don't know if I could cope with not being Orange Lantern all the time. No, I know I can't; I tried taking a month off with my girlfriend and we spent nearly all of it working."
"No one's obliged to be Thomas Aquinas. I was just hoping that he'd worked out a sensible cut off point. And… Why that point is where it is. But the more you know about, the more you see you could do… I'm sorry, this was a bad idea. Please, thank Kal-El for putting up with me. I'll go and bother someone else."
"Yeah. You do that."
Lexcorp? This is going to be... Something.15th December 2012
09:02 GMT -5
The LexCorp receptionist passes me the phone handset.
Ah, showing a little professional courtesy, OL?"Orange Lantern. What can I do for you?"
"Mister Luthor, I need to warn you about something."
Thankfully, he should settle down in a day or two. Maybe go on a bit of a walkabout..."And what would that be?"
"I accidentally messed up Superman's head, and… I might have persuaded him to adopt a more pragmatic mindset."
True. I really don't think Clark's in the mood for Lex's shit at all right now."I see."
"So if you could just minimise the provocation until I've fixed this..?"
And then Lex starts banging his forehead on the desk, wondering what god he pissed off to suffer like this...
I'm not entirely sure they know.Probably not but it's a hell of a lot better than what she's got now.
I mean, given that the Renegade and Paragon are very different guys, with very different ripple effects in the world, it probably won't. There are plenty of people who lived in Paragon but didn't in Renegade. Alan comes to mind. Plus, even if it was pre-destined...Supes has never struck me as the type to give in to "predestination".Didn't Grayven mention to Artemis that Kal-El dies at some point in the next few decades? Assuming that applies here, the whole ageing thing might be moot?
Jumped-up elementals damn it, past me. I can't trust you with anything.Mr Zoat, Paul already suggested that Lois get the Danner Formula in Jungle Gym, and I can't remember where, but I think you already confirmed it in or out of story that she took the offer.
Thank you, corrected.
No, but it probably comes from the same place. If anything, it's based on Lois's internal rant in Metropolitan Man, when she realises that he values watching television with her over saving the lives of two children who burned to death down state.Mr Zoat : Is this plot twist at least partially inspired by Overly sarcastic productions recent 2 part detail diatribe about Superman? I would include a link, but they are both more then a hour long.
And then Lex starts banging his forehead on the desk, wondering what god he pissed off to suffer like this...
I have a different view on this. I don't think it's much of a jump and it felt pretty easy for me to connect the dots.So from a narrative perspective, why exactly was it decided to skip over the entire background of this most recent chapter? You know. The very conversation which somehow broke Superman and got him to reconsider his entire perspective on reality? The one where OL feels like he needs to actually warn Lex Luthor
It feels like the story jumped ahead in a way that didn't do it any favors because it's choosing to gloss over the parts which set up the most recent chapter and somehow justify Superman allegedly changing his perspective. Skipping over it introduces any number of questions that feel glaring if unanswered.
Idk. I don't think the jump ahead did the story any favors, and in fact creates more problems than it...I don't know, solves? If there were any problems which needed to be solved by excluding those scenes to begin with.
In that, the conclusion was partially that Lois was a hypocrite, but here Superman has just talked to someone who, at least to some degree, actually lives that lifestyle. Interesting difference.No, but it probably comes from the same place. If anything, it's based on Lois's internal rant in Metropolitan Man, when she realises that he values watching television with her over saving the lives of two children who burned to death down state.
Personally that bit never seemed right to me. If you read an obituary in the average day not all that many people die of Superman preventable causes.No, but it probably comes from the same place. If anything, it's based on Lois's internal rant in Metropolitan Man, when she realises that he values watching television with her over saving the lives of two children who burned to death down state.
You can't end the global slave trade twice.Otherwise you might just end up with all the faults of the British Empire.
Neither can Superman. That's why he sticks to Metropolis, has a day job etc."Captain Marvel once told me that he wouldn't be able to cope with being Captain Marvel all the time.
Are you saying ending the global slave trade was the fault of the British empire? And are you phrasing it as a good or bad thing. Either way, there's still something to be said about not overextending your power so that you don't have to be everywhere, all the time, all at once, because something is eventually gonna give, which was really it's biggest fault.
Yes. Sorry about that, but I think it was best for everyone.Are you saying ending the global slave trade was the fault of the British empire?
And are you phrasing it as a good or bad thing. Either way, there's still something to be said about not overextending your power so that you don't have to be everywhere, all the time, all at once, because something is eventually gonna give, which was really it's biggest fault.
Shouldn't that be 20 or so? Pretty sure coworkers will notice that fossil that's been here 80 years is younger and fitter than most of the staff.
A bit late. Are you completely sure you want to get your Dannering while your boyfriend's still in his prime and your well past it?
That's probably just a Death of Superman reference. He gets better.Didn't Grayven mention to Artemis that Kal-El dies at some point in the next few decades? Assuming that applies here, the whole ageing thing might be moot?
They didn't notice that he was fitter than most of the staff when he joined the Planet.Shouldn't that be 20 or so? Pretty sure coworkers will notice that fossil that's been here 80 years is younger and fitter than most of the staff.
Yes.
No one. Zeus is still fine sponsoring William, and Hephaestean is fine with allowing it.
No one. Zeus is still fine sponsoring William, and Hephaestean is fine with allowing it.
The problem with that is there's no way Zoat can do that scene justice because it's convincing Superman he's wrong about his core beliefs.So from a narrative perspective, why exactly was it decided to skip over the entire background of this most recent chapter? You know. The very conversation which somehow broke Superman and got him to reconsider his entire perspective on reality? The one where OL feels like he needs to actually warn Lex Luthor
It feels like the story jumped ahead in a way that didn't do it any favors because it's choosing to gloss over the parts which set up the most recent chapter and somehow justify Superman allegedly changing his perspective. Skipping over it introduces any number of questions that feel glaring if unanswered.
Idk. I don't think the jump ahead did the story any favors, and in fact creates more problems than it...I don't know, solves? If there were any problems which needed to be solved by excluding those scenes to begin with.
No, but the power still exists.
I forgot about him.
Didn't we see that conversation? Just the idea that the universe is big and that superman could likely save millions of lifes with an hour's work in many parts of the universe, but if he gets to doing that then he is doing it 24/7.
Basically OL asked Superman how he manages his work life balance because OL can't manage it.
I mean you don't need Zoat to make a play by play recount of the conversation when the last sentence of the chapter tells us the angle of attack Paul probably used.
Clark probably tried to counter the argument with his brand of earnest and Paul may have thrown a tangent about Roanoke Island and the Sheeda invasión and how Clark could have saved more lives if he had altered his priorities a little, then Clark probably went silent because he realized Paul was right and he would have saved a lot more people... Heck Superman being based on a single city in the US probably fucked his world view even more because he likely has failed to respond to emergencies in other countries (earthquakes, floods, etc) while he was busy saving cats from trees in metropolis.