Mr Zoat
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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
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- self insert young justice
Ganurath
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For those too lazy to use Google and/or Wikipedia, Equistria Girls was released between Season 3 and 4 of MLP. Since the premiere episodes of Season 3 were The Crystal Empire's two parter storyline, which feature King Sombra as the chief antagonist, I suspect that the SI's knowledge of MLP is incomplete even within that time constraint.
Zig
Not too sore, are you?
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It doesn't rely on the metagene as it was able to cancel out Kon's strength and toughness.
DrThoth
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Just makes them even more plot-convenient then, which I'm fine with, if they had an explanation. They would have been extremely helpful in several conflicts that any version of the SI on Earth-16 has faced (presumably he can replicate them via power ring, and also do the calibrations more efficiently than usual).
Equestrian Guise (part 4)
Mr Zoat
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Morning
Equestria
I tap the armour covering the ponikin as the guardsponies file in behind me. Okay, the gold is only plating and the hardened steel beneath is of a reasonable quality. Considering the ponies' general technological ability. Oh, there's probably a metallurgy-specialist unicorn or something who can get modern quality steel, but this is… Reasonable. It wouldn't stop a crossbow bolt at close range, but it would turn aside a blade or arrow reliably.
On the areas it covers.
The helmet covers the top of the head and the back of the neck. It leaves the front of the neck completely exposed, along with the muzzle and most of the face. The barding covers the chest and back, but the underside is bare -even on the pegasus pony models- and the legs are completely exposed. I'm honestly not sure what they designed this to defend against. It can't be large predators; that would have required them to cover the windpipe and face. It can't be dragons because there are no wards against fire.
No wards at all, actually. A third of the species are capable of complex magic from childhood and they're wearing unenchanted metal armour.
Smaller dragons would use their claws on the exposed belly. And larger dragons would be easily strong enough to tear through it. Even other ponies… They'd either rear up and stamp -in which case the face and neck would again be points of vulnerability- or turn and buck. And that would be blunt force trauma which this armour wouldn't…
"Hey." I glance at the guard closest to me. "You wear some sort of gambeson saddle blanket thing under this, right?"
He freezes for a moment, checking that it's him I'm talking to. "Ah. Yes?"
"Does it go under the peytral?"
"No, just the back."
No blunt trauma protection at the front. I saw old-style pony armour when Luna took me through the dreamscape. That was far better in terms of protection. They deliberately moved away from that. That only really happened on Earth when guns that could pierce armour became common and ponies don't have those.
Why why why why why..?
"Grayven, if you are ready?"
Predatory animals, perhaps? A wild cat jumping onto their back would find themselves with no convenient avenue of attack, though again the lack of neck protection…
I shake my head and turn away from the ponikin and face the cluster of guardsponies and officers Luna called together. A mix of day guard and night guard, though the only real difference is that the plating on the night guard armour is a sort of blue-purple and a couple of them are bat ponies.
"Certainly."
I trot back to the front of the room to stand next to her. I'm still not wearing my armour. These ponies aren't my friends, but I can't take them seriously as threats.
"Loyal members of the Equestrian military! This is Grayven. He is a foreign dignitary who has come to Our nation as an escort to one of Princess Celestia's former students. He has a great deal of experience in military matters, and has requested the opportunity to review our training, equipment and doctrine."
A room full of tiny ponies stare up at me. And it really brings home again exactly how small they all are. I think of Luna as being equivalent to a normal sized woman, which makes sense as most people are shorter than me and she's still a reasonable size. These… Regular ponies are bite-size.
I nod politely.
"Extend to him every courtesy, for it is you who will benefit most from his expertise."
Luna steps aside, and I take her place.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Is Stalwart Spear in the audience?"
A pegasus pony in the second rank raises his right wing.
"Good show. This scenario may have particular significance to you, then. You and three comrades are waiting for Princess Celestia to put in her appearance to start the Summer Sun celebration. A little way behind you is a civilian crowd eagerly awaiting her appearance. The appointed hour arrives and nothing, nothing…"
I lift my right foreleg and then stamp it down hard.
"Then the curtain is pulled back and a cackling alicorn you don't recognise is standing in Celestia's place. You."
I lift my left foreleg and point to an audience member at random.
"What do you do?"
"I.. wait to see if she's an enemy or not."
I nod my head to the side.
"Okay. She cackles and boasts of defeating Celestia, and that she intends to keep the entire world in perpetual darkness. What now?"
"I attack her."
I nod. "The Stalwart Spear option." I nod again. "Brave. Stupid, extremely stupid, but certainly brave. What exactly are you expecting to achieve against an alicorn who just bested Celestia?"
"Ah…"
I make a dismissive motion with my left foreleg. "Stalwart Spear. You actually made that choice. I assume that you've had time to reflect upon it. Why did you do it?"
"To try and stop her causing eternal night." I bow my head slightly. "I knew there wasn't much chance of it working, but I had to try something."
"What are you doing about the civilians who are standing just behind you? Are you not doing anything to ensure their safety?"
"Nightmare Moon was the only thing threatening them."
"You don't know that. You don't know that she didn't have minions-. In fact, she later demonstrated the ability to create minions with her magic. You had a scared, panicky crowd, and you ignored them. You also didn't attempt to leave in order to notify your commanding officer or the country's other Princess."
I let that sink in for a moment.
"You attacked with a spear. Did you consider grabbing a cloud and blasting her with lightning?"
"That's.. not something I'm good at."
"Because you're not trained, or because it's not your talent?"
"It.. hasn't been a skill I've worked at."
I nod and look around the crowd.
"Would any of you have knelt to her as your new sovereign?"
There's a chorus of nos and shaken heads.
"So do you know for a fact that alicorns are immune to being stabbed in their sleep? Or having their food poisoned? Because if you gained her trust then both of those options would have been available. I appreciate that not everyone can take an alicorn in a fight, but… Did no one here think of taking the guile option?" Looks like no one did. "Or consider the fact that with Celestia out of the picture and Cadance -as far as I know- not knowing how to move the sun, that mare you just attacked is the only one who can reverse what she's done?"
Ignoring hearthwarming stories about teams of unicorns having done it in the past. Must find out whether that's true or not, because if so then there needs to be a team trained at once in order to prevent repeats of 'eternal night'.
"It is quite unreasonable to expect a pony in a new and unpredicted situation to respond to it perfectly. Where I'm from we would say that it is easy to be wise after the fact. In actuality, it isn't. It is in fact quite hard to be wise after the fact. In military matters, it takes a group of officers taking some considerable time to go back over everything that happened, examining everything, questioning everything, considering the outcome of every action that could have been taken and developing new policy in an attempt to ensure that if something like whatever happened happens again the soldiers confronted with it have been trained to deal with it. Those of you who are senior officers: that is your job. Those of you who are junior officers: you are likely to be the first decision-makers confronted with these situations. Those of you who are non-commissioned officers or privates: you're the ones who would be putting those orders into practice so you have a vested interest in making sure that they're well-informed ones."
"I am Grayven. I am the drill sergeant who took so many steroids that he became an alicorn. I will not be gentle and I will not be polite and when I am done you will all be better soldiers. Now: if pegasus pony soldiers don't know how to use weather as a weapon, who does?"
A little later
Equestria
Lightning Dust stares at me through the bars of her cell.
"Who the buck are you, and what the buck do you want?"
Equestria
I tap the armour covering the ponikin as the guardsponies file in behind me. Okay, the gold is only plating and the hardened steel beneath is of a reasonable quality. Considering the ponies' general technological ability. Oh, there's probably a metallurgy-specialist unicorn or something who can get modern quality steel, but this is… Reasonable. It wouldn't stop a crossbow bolt at close range, but it would turn aside a blade or arrow reliably.
On the areas it covers.
The helmet covers the top of the head and the back of the neck. It leaves the front of the neck completely exposed, along with the muzzle and most of the face. The barding covers the chest and back, but the underside is bare -even on the pegasus pony models- and the legs are completely exposed. I'm honestly not sure what they designed this to defend against. It can't be large predators; that would have required them to cover the windpipe and face. It can't be dragons because there are no wards against fire.
No wards at all, actually. A third of the species are capable of complex magic from childhood and they're wearing unenchanted metal armour.
Smaller dragons would use their claws on the exposed belly. And larger dragons would be easily strong enough to tear through it. Even other ponies… They'd either rear up and stamp -in which case the face and neck would again be points of vulnerability- or turn and buck. And that would be blunt force trauma which this armour wouldn't…
"Hey." I glance at the guard closest to me. "You wear some sort of gambeson saddle blanket thing under this, right?"
He freezes for a moment, checking that it's him I'm talking to. "Ah. Yes?"
"Does it go under the peytral?"
"No, just the back."
No blunt trauma protection at the front. I saw old-style pony armour when Luna took me through the dreamscape. That was far better in terms of protection. They deliberately moved away from that. That only really happened on Earth when guns that could pierce armour became common and ponies don't have those.
Why why why why why..?
"Grayven, if you are ready?"
Predatory animals, perhaps? A wild cat jumping onto their back would find themselves with no convenient avenue of attack, though again the lack of neck protection…
I shake my head and turn away from the ponikin and face the cluster of guardsponies and officers Luna called together. A mix of day guard and night guard, though the only real difference is that the plating on the night guard armour is a sort of blue-purple and a couple of them are bat ponies.
"Certainly."
I trot back to the front of the room to stand next to her. I'm still not wearing my armour. These ponies aren't my friends, but I can't take them seriously as threats.
"Loyal members of the Equestrian military! This is Grayven. He is a foreign dignitary who has come to Our nation as an escort to one of Princess Celestia's former students. He has a great deal of experience in military matters, and has requested the opportunity to review our training, equipment and doctrine."
A room full of tiny ponies stare up at me. And it really brings home again exactly how small they all are. I think of Luna as being equivalent to a normal sized woman, which makes sense as most people are shorter than me and she's still a reasonable size. These… Regular ponies are bite-size.
I nod politely.
"Extend to him every courtesy, for it is you who will benefit most from his expertise."
Luna steps aside, and I take her place.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Is Stalwart Spear in the audience?"
A pegasus pony in the second rank raises his right wing.
"Good show. This scenario may have particular significance to you, then. You and three comrades are waiting for Princess Celestia to put in her appearance to start the Summer Sun celebration. A little way behind you is a civilian crowd eagerly awaiting her appearance. The appointed hour arrives and nothing, nothing…"
I lift my right foreleg and then stamp it down hard.
"Then the curtain is pulled back and a cackling alicorn you don't recognise is standing in Celestia's place. You."
I lift my left foreleg and point to an audience member at random.
"What do you do?"
"I.. wait to see if she's an enemy or not."
I nod my head to the side.
"Okay. She cackles and boasts of defeating Celestia, and that she intends to keep the entire world in perpetual darkness. What now?"
"I attack her."
I nod. "The Stalwart Spear option." I nod again. "Brave. Stupid, extremely stupid, but certainly brave. What exactly are you expecting to achieve against an alicorn who just bested Celestia?"
"Ah…"
I make a dismissive motion with my left foreleg. "Stalwart Spear. You actually made that choice. I assume that you've had time to reflect upon it. Why did you do it?"
"To try and stop her causing eternal night." I bow my head slightly. "I knew there wasn't much chance of it working, but I had to try something."
"What are you doing about the civilians who are standing just behind you? Are you not doing anything to ensure their safety?"
"Nightmare Moon was the only thing threatening them."
"You don't know that. You don't know that she didn't have minions-. In fact, she later demonstrated the ability to create minions with her magic. You had a scared, panicky crowd, and you ignored them. You also didn't attempt to leave in order to notify your commanding officer or the country's other Princess."
I let that sink in for a moment.
"You attacked with a spear. Did you consider grabbing a cloud and blasting her with lightning?"
"That's.. not something I'm good at."
"Because you're not trained, or because it's not your talent?"
"It.. hasn't been a skill I've worked at."
I nod and look around the crowd.
"Would any of you have knelt to her as your new sovereign?"
There's a chorus of nos and shaken heads.
"So do you know for a fact that alicorns are immune to being stabbed in their sleep? Or having their food poisoned? Because if you gained her trust then both of those options would have been available. I appreciate that not everyone can take an alicorn in a fight, but… Did no one here think of taking the guile option?" Looks like no one did. "Or consider the fact that with Celestia out of the picture and Cadance -as far as I know- not knowing how to move the sun, that mare you just attacked is the only one who can reverse what she's done?"
Ignoring hearthwarming stories about teams of unicorns having done it in the past. Must find out whether that's true or not, because if so then there needs to be a team trained at once in order to prevent repeats of 'eternal night'.
"It is quite unreasonable to expect a pony in a new and unpredicted situation to respond to it perfectly. Where I'm from we would say that it is easy to be wise after the fact. In actuality, it isn't. It is in fact quite hard to be wise after the fact. In military matters, it takes a group of officers taking some considerable time to go back over everything that happened, examining everything, questioning everything, considering the outcome of every action that could have been taken and developing new policy in an attempt to ensure that if something like whatever happened happens again the soldiers confronted with it have been trained to deal with it. Those of you who are senior officers: that is your job. Those of you who are junior officers: you are likely to be the first decision-makers confronted with these situations. Those of you who are non-commissioned officers or privates: you're the ones who would be putting those orders into practice so you have a vested interest in making sure that they're well-informed ones."
"I am Grayven. I am the drill sergeant who took so many steroids that he became an alicorn. I will not be gentle and I will not be polite and when I am done you will all be better soldiers. Now: if pegasus pony soldiers don't know how to use weather as a weapon, who does?"
A little later
Equestria
Lightning Dust stares at me through the bars of her cell.
"Who the buck are you, and what the buck do you want?"
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SebazuD
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?
Was she actually arrested at some point in the series?
thebishop8
Umm, ackchyually...
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Change "I'm" to "I".
gustyeagle
Know what you're doing yet?
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King of Frost
Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.
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Not in the cartoon as far as I can tell. Her first major appearance ended with her getting kicked off of the Wonderbolts. Her next appearance was about how she founded the Washouts, a stunt team composed of ex-Wonderbolts who take way more risks.
That one ends with her declaring Rainbow Dash is her rival for life. She also makes a few appearances in the comics but nothing substantial.
So I have no idea why she'd be behind bars.
Mr Zoat
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There's no mention of her suffering any punishment for nearly killing the Bearers other than being kicked out of Wonderbolt training. In my version, yes, reckless endangerment is a criminal offence and she was arrested for it.
Thank you, corrected.
Done.
Idkusername
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Mr Zoat, have you considered using Grammarly or any other such service to help you check your spellings and such? I've found it's great help if you don't want a dedicated beta reader.
BR549
This is filth! FILTH!!
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Oh, so close, Grayven. Maybe if you connected these things you might have your answer...
Handlewithcare
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Urgh. Her.
I want to see more Grayven drilling guards ponies please.
Also, if he could please lampshade the fact that Shining Armours abilities were never used again in the series to not outshine the mane six that would be fantastic.
Seriously, Equestria should have a major magical research project going on to copy his spell somehow.
I want to see more Grayven drilling guards ponies please.
Also, if he could please lampshade the fact that Shining Armours abilities were never used again in the series to not outshine the mane six that would be fantastic.
Seriously, Equestria should have a major magical research project going on to copy his spell somehow.
Oglymogly
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Even 'reformed' Grayven is still trolling ponies. I know he knows that someone will try this and hurt themselves.
...Actually, is he trying to put the idea that anyone could potentially become a Alicorn into the public subconscious?
Doccer
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Ladies and gentlemen. Is Stalwart Spear in the audience?
SebazuD
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Does it count as reckless endangerment when the girls basically went into a training field without warning anyone?
Also, you keep aplying Earth Laws to Equestria, for some reason, even though it's a differnt world, even though Grayven has been to actual different planets already that have many diffent legal systems.
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BR549
This is filth! FILTH!!
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Well, you know, if by 'steroids' he means mean 'all the various Formulas he took', he's not at all lying...
Idkusername
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Honestly, it makes no sense as it comes after DC has just managed to properly conclude its redirth comics, after the failed New 52. It just doesn't make any sense, and I'm not even a regular DC reader!
Chojin Patriarch
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Cheap-quality armour for display and looks. Says a lot about their functional role, doesn't it?
Honestly, I'm getting vibes of the movie version of 300, with its' cloak, helm and posing pouch 'armour'. They definitely look more like eye candy than actual soldiers...
Honestly, this is more the 'looks pretty, doesn't do much' model. I doubt the Guards really have to do much these days anyway, beyond pushing around a few troublemakers.
Okay, Grayven, we get the point, no need to harp on about it...
Yeah, he's intimidated as hell, and you didn't even make an Intimidation check. Quite the impression, eh?
And of course he sees nothing wrong with that. Says so much about the current culture of the Guards.
A thousand years of near-total peace? Really, anything that could give the guards a challenge, they'd expect Celestia to deal with anyway.
Focus, Corpsman. You are in the middle of something.
And from what I remember, that's mostly a glamour to fit in with Luna's visual aesthetic...
And honestly, if you've any of the typical alicorn strength, they really aren't.
Like looking at a bunch of children playing at being soldiers...
Oh, boy... It begins...
Ah, calling out someone already? This is going to be good.
Ah, hypotheticals. Best way to show people just how wrong they can be...
And putting him (or her) on the spot. Realistic, certainly.
Bracing for R. Lee Ermey moment...
"Congratulations, you are now dead."
Seriously, that's like... Like throwing a gun at Superman after emptying it into him. You know it won't work... But you do it anyway. Because what else can you do?
Poor, hopeless fool. Thinking with his honour instead of his head.
"And you knew that how?"
A lot of them are having deep personal doubts right now, aren't they?
True, not every pegasus is that good...
Too much focus on standing around looking stern?
Again, honour before reason. Or in this case, sneakiness.
Oh, yes... I wouldn't be surprised if the 'teamwork' spell used back before Celestia's day had been long forgotten by now, because "Hey, she's immortal, who needs a backup plan?"
Damn straight!
And even then, they can get it wrong, because of personal bias or someone lying to cover their ass or even simple, blind stupidity.
And sooner or later, they will have to make those plans.
"When I am done, you ponies will eat rocks and crap thunder! You will spit blood and piss fire! And you will be Soldiers! Not glorified armour-stands!"
"Now, is that the way to talk to someone who can get you out of there?"
I foresee some hard drill for the various breeds. Weather-weaponising for Pegasi, Shield-creation for Unicorns and pure strength-training for the Earthy ones. And maybe they can get some budget for real armour.
Corrections:
"You attacked with a spear.
"Would any of you have knelt to her as your new sovereign?"
Bloodalchemy
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That still leaves 2/3 of possible attackers to protect against. Let alone all non pony threats.
Sockmonkey
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IIRC uber-powerful shield spells are part of his special talent.
Most of the ponies killed by Tirek would have been pegasi, as both their flight and cloudwalking depends on their magic. Any of them that didn't fly out of range soon enough would have gone splat. Pony version of the WTC attack.
TheEyes
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Then they'd have wards inscribed on them. As far as I know the only aggressive species left on Equestria, other than the dragons who only seem interested in volcanic areas and thus aren't competition, are Griffons and Changelings, both of whom fly and attack by dive-bombing.
Sockmonkey
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I wouldn't even count the modern Griffons as they're chronically unable to get their collective shit together enough to have a functioning economy, much less become a threat. I suspect they never really got the hang of living peacefully.
Ganurath
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I think I understand the purpose of Celestia's guards.
Once, high ranking dignitaries visited a castle on the border with a demonic realm, with a single guard posted facing that border. The visiting dignitaries felt this was funny enough to warrant a wager. Each would place three guards at one of the castle's other walls, and they would see who's guards struck the mightiest blow against an attacking demon during their visit. The lone guard warned that the others wouldn't be fast enough, but his words were laughed off and ignored. That evening, there was a blood-curdling scream that awoke the castle, and the demon that came upon the chambers of the dignitaries was intercepted and struck down by their host's champion. When the dignitaries went outside to see how their guard had fared, they discovered that all ten had been brutally slaughtered. One of the dignitaries argued that there was no winner, and that their host's guard had performed his duty no better than those they'd posted. The champion countered this assertion, explaining that the guard's job was to scream.
Cookie for whoever recognizes the franchise.
Once, high ranking dignitaries visited a castle on the border with a demonic realm, with a single guard posted facing that border. The visiting dignitaries felt this was funny enough to warrant a wager. Each would place three guards at one of the castle's other walls, and they would see who's guards struck the mightiest blow against an attacking demon during their visit. The lone guard warned that the others wouldn't be fast enough, but his words were laughed off and ignored. That evening, there was a blood-curdling scream that awoke the castle, and the demon that came upon the chambers of the dignitaries was intercepted and struck down by their host's champion. When the dignitaries went outside to see how their guard had fared, they discovered that all ten had been brutally slaughtered. One of the dignitaries argued that there was no winner, and that their host's guard had performed his duty no better than those they'd posted. The champion countered this assertion, explaining that the guard's job was to scream.
Cookie for whoever recognizes the franchise.
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Mr Zoat
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No.
'Complex' doesn't mean 'any use in combat'. Most ponies only use one or two spells associated with their special talents.
Darko
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Ah renegade taking up a military role, wonderful.
Ad he's taking up the role of "General Ripper"
I really hope that he doesn't end up like another military man called Ripper and destroys everything because women don't take his "divine essence".
And lets hope he doesn't think the Changelings are trying to contaminate his precious bodily fluids.
Ad he's taking up the role of "General Ripper"
I really hope that he doesn't end up like another military man called Ripper and destroys everything because women don't take his "divine essence".
And lets hope he doesn't think the Changelings are trying to contaminate his precious bodily fluids.
The Froggy Ninja
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Even Twilights Magic Missile-esque spells are pretty piddly the few times we see her use them and she's basically ultra magic friendship Jesus.
Mquz
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The way I understand it, this is their way of reintroducing the multiverse, and they were planning on having it basically be a second main universe / set in the future where they can do experimental stuff while their main comics are going on in the background. It's a full reboot of the sort where they replace the main characters with their descendants.