Equestrian Guise (part 7)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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Somewhere
over the rainbow
The three of us stare down from the stony ridgeline into the wide valley below. Actually, I'm not sure at what point a land formation stops being a valley and starts being a plain that just happens to have hills on either side. This was clearly carved out by the actions of the river: land worn away by the constant flow of water, then levelled by successive patterns of annual flooding. It would probably make for good farmland, but I can't see any of the patterns that I'd associate with ordered fields. On the other hand I can see plumes of smoke.
Lightning Dust flaps into the air, then half-closes her eyes.
"Wild weather. Not like the Everfree, but nopony's doing weather management."
I look up at her. "You know that's just pony obsessive compulsive disorder, right?"
She looks down. "Huh?"
"Most species don't bother regulating the weather. Outside of stopping tornados or the most powerful storms there isn't really much benefit to what Equestria does. Ponies just do it because they freak out if everything isn't just so."
Lightning Dust pulls a face at the insult, but after a moment she looks a little more contemplative.
"Huh. So what you're saying is, the ponies here would pay me whatever I want to fix their weather for them."
I smile. "You're pretty quick on the uptake. Of course, we don't know that there are any ponies-"
Sunset's horn glows for a moment, then a… Band of cyan races across the landscape.
"-here. Hm. Sunset, do we know if there are any ponies here?"
She nods. "Definitely ponies. And… I'm not sure… But I think this is Dream Valley."
"Was that a satnav spell?"
She rolls her eyes. "I tried studying ancient history to see if I could find anything about earth pony magic. I never found any maps, but there was a poem that was supposed to predate the Exodus and it had a.. poetic description of Dream Castle."
"And your spell found it?"
"I think we're standing on it." I look down and fail to see a castle. "What's left of it, anyway. The Exodus was at least twelve hundred years ago."
I frown. Now I look again there is a surprising degree of regularity in some of the stones around us. "A castle made of stone shouldn't completely collapse that quickly."
"It would if it went through an ice age. Or if it was frozen by windigos."
"Or if the locals pulled it down."
Sunset frowns. "Why would they do that?"
"Well, I'm only working off the oral history version here, but weren't earth ponies kind of the underclass? Exploited by the more martial pegasus ponies and unicorn ponies?"
"I always thought that was a dramatic oversimplification of…" She looks around. "Where'd Lightning Dust go?"
I look up and follow the turquoise and orange streak across the sky.
"That way."
"Buh-! Gkh?! Does she even speak Ancient Equish?"
"Probably not. Hang o-"
Sunset Shimmer glows cyan for a moment, then vanishes.
"-n." I spend a moment alone on the plateau. "Ring, scan for them."
"Subjects located."
And… Luna said that she and Celestia ascended post migration. That snapshot of her foalhood I saw strongly implied that they were born post-Exodus. And there weren't any older alicorns around, so.. it's possible that the local ponies haven't ever seen an alicorn before. They may well not know that they exist.
"Show me."
A construct image forms of… A tent settlement. It looks like they're either setting up or breaking camp. They have some large wagons pulled by.. other ponies, and some are laden with large logs. For trading, perhaps? Lightning Dust is flitting around, but none of them seem all that bothered by her. Then Sunset appears and that causes a few to back off rather sharply.
I should probably put in an appearance. Boom tube might be a bit loud, but I can't see…
Some of those ponies are armed.
Mother Box.
Ping.
Boom!
I trot through the portal as a couple of rough-looking types with crampon-horseshoes size her up. They're half a head taller than her, which means that if I stood over them then their ears might tickle my stomach. They lose interest in her as soon as the tube opens, and they adopt a noticeably more defensive posture when they see me.
"Mornin', lads."
"Hu 're yuh, jimmeh?"
Oh, by the Source, they're Scottish. Or.. rather, my rings have decided that their dialect is the equivalent of Glaswegian English. I could override it, but this way at least I can tell the difference between ponies who are speaking Modern Equish and the ponies speaking this dialect.
"Name's Grayven. My companions and I are new to these lands and we're having a bit of an explore. Might I ask your names?"
They both regard me cautiously for a moment, before the one with a dull green pelt decides that since I'm unlikely to be a fairy there's no harm in telling me his name.
"Hoof Stompah." He lifts up his right forehoof as if to demonstrate, then considers me and thinks better of it. He nods at Sunset. "What kinda gabbeh comin' oota har mouth?"
"That's not Ancient Equish." Sunset sounds a little disgruntled. "I don't know what language that is."
"She's speaking a form of Equish which I suspect is derived from the old unicorn dialect." Because the printing press was a unicorn invention and there's nothing like a printing press for enforcing linguistic consistency. Over a thousand years, a form of the language that was from a different dialect anyway could end up sounding very different. "Could you possibly tell us where are we?"
"Ware yeh tank?" Hoof Stomper looks around, and I notice that we're drawing a degree of curiosity. "Ponyland."
"Hey, Grayven." Lightning Dust lands next to me. "Ask them where the pegasi live. I wanna see if they've got cloud castles."
"Actually." Sunset looks around. "I don't see any unicorns, eith-. No, wait, there's one."
Hoof Stomper's friend steps aside as a senior-looking unicorn mare walks through the circle of rubberneckers. The two 'bruisers' adopt a deferential posture as she approaches, looking up at me.
"Yeh cam a wey, A'm thankin'."
About two fifths of the way around the planet, but only about a minute.
"Some way."
"A'll get a bru an. Yi'kin tell mah awol aboot at."
She turns and trots away, and Sunsets gives me an interrogative look.
"I think we're meant to follow her."
over the rainbow
The three of us stare down from the stony ridgeline into the wide valley below. Actually, I'm not sure at what point a land formation stops being a valley and starts being a plain that just happens to have hills on either side. This was clearly carved out by the actions of the river: land worn away by the constant flow of water, then levelled by successive patterns of annual flooding. It would probably make for good farmland, but I can't see any of the patterns that I'd associate with ordered fields. On the other hand I can see plumes of smoke.
Lightning Dust flaps into the air, then half-closes her eyes.
"Wild weather. Not like the Everfree, but nopony's doing weather management."
I look up at her. "You know that's just pony obsessive compulsive disorder, right?"
She looks down. "Huh?"
"Most species don't bother regulating the weather. Outside of stopping tornados or the most powerful storms there isn't really much benefit to what Equestria does. Ponies just do it because they freak out if everything isn't just so."
Lightning Dust pulls a face at the insult, but after a moment she looks a little more contemplative.
"Huh. So what you're saying is, the ponies here would pay me whatever I want to fix their weather for them."
I smile. "You're pretty quick on the uptake. Of course, we don't know that there are any ponies-"
Sunset's horn glows for a moment, then a… Band of cyan races across the landscape.
"-here. Hm. Sunset, do we know if there are any ponies here?"
She nods. "Definitely ponies. And… I'm not sure… But I think this is Dream Valley."
"Was that a satnav spell?"
She rolls her eyes. "I tried studying ancient history to see if I could find anything about earth pony magic. I never found any maps, but there was a poem that was supposed to predate the Exodus and it had a.. poetic description of Dream Castle."
"And your spell found it?"
"I think we're standing on it." I look down and fail to see a castle. "What's left of it, anyway. The Exodus was at least twelve hundred years ago."
I frown. Now I look again there is a surprising degree of regularity in some of the stones around us. "A castle made of stone shouldn't completely collapse that quickly."
"It would if it went through an ice age. Or if it was frozen by windigos."
"Or if the locals pulled it down."
Sunset frowns. "Why would they do that?"
"Well, I'm only working off the oral history version here, but weren't earth ponies kind of the underclass? Exploited by the more martial pegasus ponies and unicorn ponies?"
"I always thought that was a dramatic oversimplification of…" She looks around. "Where'd Lightning Dust go?"
I look up and follow the turquoise and orange streak across the sky.
"That way."
"Buh-! Gkh?! Does she even speak Ancient Equish?"
"Probably not. Hang o-"
Sunset Shimmer glows cyan for a moment, then vanishes.
"-n." I spend a moment alone on the plateau. "Ring, scan for them."
"Subjects located."
And… Luna said that she and Celestia ascended post migration. That snapshot of her foalhood I saw strongly implied that they were born post-Exodus. And there weren't any older alicorns around, so.. it's possible that the local ponies haven't ever seen an alicorn before. They may well not know that they exist.
"Show me."
A construct image forms of… A tent settlement. It looks like they're either setting up or breaking camp. They have some large wagons pulled by.. other ponies, and some are laden with large logs. For trading, perhaps? Lightning Dust is flitting around, but none of them seem all that bothered by her. Then Sunset appears and that causes a few to back off rather sharply.
I should probably put in an appearance. Boom tube might be a bit loud, but I can't see…
Some of those ponies are armed.
Mother Box.
Ping.
Boom!
I trot through the portal as a couple of rough-looking types with crampon-horseshoes size her up. They're half a head taller than her, which means that if I stood over them then their ears might tickle my stomach. They lose interest in her as soon as the tube opens, and they adopt a noticeably more defensive posture when they see me.
"Mornin', lads."
"Hu 're yuh, jimmeh?"
Oh, by the Source, they're Scottish. Or.. rather, my rings have decided that their dialect is the equivalent of Glaswegian English. I could override it, but this way at least I can tell the difference between ponies who are speaking Modern Equish and the ponies speaking this dialect.
"Name's Grayven. My companions and I are new to these lands and we're having a bit of an explore. Might I ask your names?"
They both regard me cautiously for a moment, before the one with a dull green pelt decides that since I'm unlikely to be a fairy there's no harm in telling me his name.
"Hoof Stompah." He lifts up his right forehoof as if to demonstrate, then considers me and thinks better of it. He nods at Sunset. "What kinda gabbeh comin' oota har mouth?"
"That's not Ancient Equish." Sunset sounds a little disgruntled. "I don't know what language that is."
"She's speaking a form of Equish which I suspect is derived from the old unicorn dialect." Because the printing press was a unicorn invention and there's nothing like a printing press for enforcing linguistic consistency. Over a thousand years, a form of the language that was from a different dialect anyway could end up sounding very different. "Could you possibly tell us where are we?"
"Ware yeh tank?" Hoof Stomper looks around, and I notice that we're drawing a degree of curiosity. "Ponyland."
"Hey, Grayven." Lightning Dust lands next to me. "Ask them where the pegasi live. I wanna see if they've got cloud castles."
"Actually." Sunset looks around. "I don't see any unicorns, eith-. No, wait, there's one."
Hoof Stomper's friend steps aside as a senior-looking unicorn mare walks through the circle of rubberneckers. The two 'bruisers' adopt a deferential posture as she approaches, looking up at me.
"Yeh cam a wey, A'm thankin'."
About two fifths of the way around the planet, but only about a minute.
"Some way."
"A'll get a bru an. Yi'kin tell mah awol aboot at."
She turns and trots away, and Sunsets gives me an interrogative look.
"I think we're meant to follow her."
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