"Could someone please explain to me why our guest is in the infirmary?"
They put a heavy book on top of the jar. Am-heh could get out, but a normal goa'uld wouldn't be able to and O'Neil knew that when he put it there.
...Really? A
book? Oh, boy. General Hammond is going to be chewing them out for
hours after this little debacle, isn't he?
O'Neil is the first to answer. "I can only assume he was feeling tired, sir."
Hammond looks at him for a moment, then turns to Major Carter.
Not the best time for your usual comedy routine, Jacky.
"Mammon was insistent that goa'uld under System Lord Bastet don't have human slaves. The Colonel.. pointed out that he had a host, and he… Decided to leave him."
Hammond and Carter both look my way, so I have Am-heh wave his tail again.
Surprised he didn't also have him twine his primary tentacles together like a man twiddling his thumbs while he waits.
For the laughs, of course.
"And the host?"
"We're-" She steps aside as some medical staff move an electroencephalograph machine into position. "-not sure, sir. He made.. it lay down before he left. He knew that… Whoever this is wasn't going to go anywhere."
And you didn't think there was a
logical reason for that?
Electrodes are attached and the machine is activated, and not a lot appears on the screen.
"Doctor Fraiser?"
Heh. The Ring feeding fake data to the sensors, I see. Or simply hiding his brain activity.
"He's barely breathing, his heart is barely beating and he has no higher brain activity at all." The doctor turns to the General. "If I had to guess, I'd say that he was in a coma, but we know next to nothing about long term goa'uld hosts." She shrugs. "This could be normal or this could be abnormal."
"Is there any sign of a head injury?"
No. That's why Paulmon set up the pillow, duh.
"No. Aside from the lack of brain activity, I'd say that he's in perfect health."
"Is he in any danger?"
Only of
boredom. But you dancing monkeys are putting on such a
great show.
"I don't know. Fundamentally, there's no difference between him and any other coma patient. I should be able to keep him alive indefinitely, but the chance of someone waking up from a coma decreases the longer it lasts."
Hammond nods, and then walks over to peer into the jar. "Why is it orange?"
If there's a sigil, it might well be lost in the surface texture of the Goa'uld symbiote's skin... Or they'd assume it was a cosmetic modification, like a tattoo. Even if DC comics exist here, the Orange Sigil design didn't come into existence for another five or six years... And recognising that would require them to even
read 'Green Lantern' comics.
Teal'c keeps staring. "I do not know, General Hammond. I have never seen a goa'uld with this pigmentation. Or who glowed. It appears unusually calm."
Hammond looks away, considering the situation for a moment. Then he turns back to Doctor Fraiser. "Doctor, will the host recover?"
Ah, yes, a bit of a sticky situation. One of his men 'convinces' a Goa'uld to leave its' host, and the first thing they do is trap it in its vase while they poke the human? Awkward.
"I couldn't tell you. We're doing blood tests to see if Mammon used any sort of drug to keep the host unconscious. A CAT scan might give us a better idea of what's going on in his brain, but I doubt it will tell us what the cause is."
"Teal'c, would a goa'uld use someone in a coma as a host?"
That's actually a good question. Would a damaged brain impair the joined pair in any way, or would the Goa'uld repair it in the process of connecting?
This ever come up in the show proper?
Teal'c considers for a moment. "I have never seen a goa'uld select a host who was not in perfect physical condition."
Hammond thinks for a moment. "What happens if we put the goa'uld back in?"
To be fair, that's more a matter of personal preferences on the Goa'uld's parts than any medical reason. If you're going to change, why take a beat-up model over a fresh new ride?
O'Neil raises his eyebrows. "Then.. we.. condemn this man to hundreds of years locked in his own body while Mammon uses it… Sir."
"Colonel, from what I'm seeing he's not using it himself right now. Naquada traded with Mammon make up about half of what we get now. Ah don't see his people carrying that on if they hear about this."
And there had better be some apologies on the way once he wakes up, or he'll start charging more.
Teal'c bows his head slightly. "If he were placed in a canopic jar and returned to Syrania, then he would simply take a new host. If you wish to continue trading with him, using someone who cannot awaken would be more merciful."
Major Carter frowns. "Wait. I think he was making a point."
Good luck getting this one to go anywhere he doesn't
want to...
O'Neil raises his left eyebrow. "That.. we're.. not as strong on the 'no slaves here' rule as I'd formerly believed?"
"He clearly knows what a slave is. He said that he doesn't own any. So what if he found a man with a head injury and picked him because he thought that was better."
Ah, finally, someone spots the logical conclusion.
Teal'c tilts his head slightly to the left. "I know little of Mammon's history, but nothing that I heard suggested that he was any more considerate than other goa'uld."
"Daniel said that Mammon was buried underground for two hundred years. And goa'uld can change. The Tok'ra were made the way they are by Egeria, but she changed her mind by choice. If we put him back in… Maybe he has an explanation."
And it'll save Paulmon having to do it himself, which would raise all
manner of questions.
O'Neil gives her a flat look. "Would you volunteer?"
"If I was in a persistent vegetative state… Yeah."
And if it turns out the symbiote
can repair brain damage, it may well be an option for medical assistance. Assuming it can be persuaded to separate afterwards safely.
Hammond looks at Dr. Fraiser. "Doctor?"
"Depending on the level of damage the host's brain has taken, the symbiote might be the only thing keeping him alive." She frowns, looking back at him. "Daniel said that you'd been able to get hold of a sarcophagus for his wife?"
Odd time to bring that up, but I suppose it's pertinent. A round of sarcophagus healing can fix brain damage, barring what it causes.
"No, but he-" He nods at me. "-has."
O'Neil closes his eyes and exhales slowly. "Fine. I'll do it."
Gee, don't be so enthusiastic, Jack.
He walks over to the jar, Teal'c stepping out of the way to give him access. He picks up the book and sets it aside, then thrusts his right arm in and roughly grabs Am-heh just under his head. He then pulls him out and walks over to my body, holding Am-heh up to… His own head?
"Look grateful, you little bastard."
Surprised Paulmon didn't have it hiss at him, but that might be pushing his luck.
Then he shoves him towards my mouth and releases his grip. I make Am-heh squirm forwards and enter my mouth, give it a couple of seconds and then sit up, pulling the sensors off my head.
"I trust that was informative?"
Because it was certainly
entertaining.
General Hammond squints slightly. "Do you want to explain to me what that was about?"
"I said that I don't have slaves. I don't. If you'd been paying attention, you'd have realised that this body has an entirely different ethnic origin to the people of Syrania. Where did you think I got it? I was stuck under a mountain for two hundred years. I built this body. Cloned it. It doesn't have any higher reasoning functions of its own and it never did. The brain lights up when I activate those parts of the brain manually."
Let's hope they're too embarrassed to wonder where he got the source DNA from in the first place...
There's a very quiet-
"Ohh."
-from Colonel O'Neil.
Man, where's Jethro Gibbs to deliver his trademark
dope-slap when you need him?
"I could have switched to a different host, but I don't, because if I can come up with some advantage to this system I might be able to convince every goa'uld under Lord Bastet to release their hosts and accept synthetic replacements. And their hosts aren't slaves, they're volunteers. It's considered an honour."
O'Neil opens his mouth-.
And really, if you could engineer in certain physical
enhancements, they'd probably
jump at the chance to have a body deserving of their godhood.
"You don't like it? No one's asking you to do it. And while you're here, General." I recreate the 'Opinion of the Office of the Attorney General on Off-World Warfare'. "This is unhelpful legalistic bullshit designed to shield you against people in your own country suing you. It contains absolutely nothing that might lead to a cessation of hostilities with the people you're actually fighting. Take it back and get one with actual war-aims written in it, because while I don't think you did anything wrong in killing Ra, that act has resulted in a war that makes the period nineteen ten to nineteen fifty look like a minor border skirmish and you don't appear to know what you actually want out of the situation. Also."
Although they'd probably consider the System Lords fighting each other to be a plus, all it would take is pointing out the collateral damage of all the human populations of those Lords' planets sitting in the firing line...
I glare at O'Neil.
"A heavy book? Really? I voluntarily left this body. Putting captive enemies on display contravenes the Geneva Conventions and putting trading partners on display gets your prices jacked up."
Of course, a prompt and heartfelt apology might get that increase reduced to a
token amount.
Hammond looks at O'Neil. "Colonel?"
He moues awkwardly. "The book... May, have been a bit much."
Well, good of him to show
some embarrassment about it, at least.
