Cowboys of Remnant: A Day with Orleans
AndrewJTalon
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Weiss walked up to the stables, a determined scowl on her face. The hot wind whipped her hair up behind her as she beheld both her greatest nemesis (after her father) and her potential greatest ally.
Orleans was standing in the shade, guzzling down water from the trough with great enthusiasm. The Aura-unlocked horse gave her a glance, before resuming her guzzling. She then pulled back, sending up a spray of water that flew up into the air and covered Orleans. It was rather majestic, Weiss thought, and the fact the horse didn't spray her (for once) was encouraging.
"Orleans," Weiss said quietly and tried very hard not to feel silly about talking to a horse, "I do care for Jaune very much."
Orleans snorted. Weiss shook her head.
"I mean it. He... Means a lot to me," she said. "But that doesn't mean we have to be enemies, right? We both want Jaune to be happy, don't we?"
Orleans looked considerate... For a horse. She neighed in agreement. Weiss smiled and pulled out the package she'd been hiding behind her back: A stack of magazines.
"Now," Weiss said, holding up the pages, "You see all these stallions? Racehorses. I could get any one of them to stud for you."
Orleans examined the magazine dutifully. She looked rather skeptical and snorted.
"What? These are the finest stallions in the world!" Weiss insisted. Orleans snorted again and turned her nose up. Weiss sighed.
Well, that was expected, she thought to herself. Fortunately, she was prepared.
"I see. You're like me, then. You prefer someone more down to Remnant. More of a blue-collar horse than some stuffy elitist," she said. Orleans scowled as well as a horse could and nodded. "Very well."
Weiss swapped the racing horse magazine for one about draft horses. She opened it up to page 12.
"See? This is Luscombe Nodram. The tallest Shire breed horse in the world. Now he's a prize winner, but he's a hard-working farm horse at heart," Weiss said with a smile, "See him? He doesn't look stuck up at all, despite his fame."
Orleans snorted again but did seem much more interested. Weiss smiled.
"You two would make beautiful foals," she said encouragingly, "And you know Jaune would love them. He loves baby animals, and so do I!"
Orleans leaned in a bit closer and examined the picture carefully.
"I will throw in these muffins my butler made," Weiss added, holding out a basket of the warm, delicious pastries Klein had sent her special delivery.
Orleans sniffed the muffins, then chomped down on them. She chewed them thoughtfully, paper and all.
She then nickered. Weiss beamed.
"So... You help me with love, and I'll help you with love. Sound good?"
Orleans huffed and again looked haughty as she considered it. She then neighed and nodded. Weiss nodded back, a smile growing on her face.
"Oh of course Jaune would always be first in your heart. Isn't that always the way?" She reached out tentatively. Orleans watched her intensely for a few moments... Before she relaxed. Weiss patted her on the back of her neck with a happy smile.
"Ahem."
Weiss froze and looked over her shoulder. Pyrrha stood there with a terrifying smile that did not marr her usually pleasant features in the slightest.
"Um... Hello Pyrrha," Weiss said, her smile becoming nervous.
"You know Orleans," Pyrrha said conversationally as she walked up next to Weiss, "The Hellenic citiy-states became very good at horse rearing."
She held up her Scroll and presented an image of a magnificent black stallion. Orleans' eyes were glued to the screen instantly. Pyrrha then pulled out a vial and popped the top.
"His musk, for your perusal," Pyrrha said, still smiling in a scary way. Orleans sniffed, and nickered happily.
"There, see? You help me, you'll get him," Pyrrha said, "We're both happy."
She held out an open box filled with dried fruit.
"I also brought you a sample of fruits my mother tells me is raised on a farm we own," Pyrrha said.
Orleans neighed happily and chowed down as Weiss gasped at her former idol.
"You're trying to bribe Orleans?! But Pyrrha, you're-"
"I'm not as good at this field of battle as others," Pyrrha said firmly, "But I am a fast learner... And I aim to win."
There was a pause. Pyrrha allowed herself a smirk.
"Besides... Orleans is clearly a horse of taste. She wouldn't go for some celebrity horse like an over-eager fangirl. Would you, Orleans?"
Orleans nickered again. Weiss's eyes narrowed.
"I see," she stated, "So be it."
The two young women glared at each other. Orleans went back to drinking water, happily sniffing the musk.
- - -
Yang walked up to the stable, her stride confident. Orleans was again drinking deeply of the water trough.
"Listen Orleans," Yang stated, "I don't do this for a lot of people. Or horses."
Orleans looked up skeptically. Yang held up a bucket of warm, golden oats. The horse nickered happily as she sniffed it.
"Yup. Honey and brown sugar baked. Highest-grade cut oats," Yang said with a smile. Orleans leaned forward, but Yang pulled the bucket back.
"But... Quid pro quo," she stated firmly. Orleans snorted. Yang nodded.
"Come on. You want to be pandered to?"
Orleans huffed.
"Well, I suppose we all like to be pandered to a little from time to time. But not all the time."
Orleans glared at her. Yang sighed.
"Okay look. I really like Jaune and I don't want to fight you. All right? So yeah, have this bribe... And don't screw things up for me. Or, horse or no horse, I'll kick your ass!"
Orleans snorted... But then nodded. A bit of respect was in her eyes. Yang smirked.
"There you go."
She held out the bucket. Orleans bowed down and began to eat happily.
- - -
"... And he took shop class! Shop class is so amazing! He's so cool! He helps me at the forge and even fixed up the bunk beds! So could you please help me out, Orleans? It would be great of you!"
Orleans looked at Ruby incredulously. Ruby beamed and held out a cookie.
"Aw, you look so cute: Have a cookie!"
Orleans took the cookie happily. She then shrugged and whinnied happily.
"Aw! Thanks Orleans!" Ruby hugged her happily. "You're so sweet!"
- - -
Nora stole into the stable, Ren keeping pace a few steps behind her. Nora beamed and held up a bag of sugar cubes.
Orleans nickered happily, throwing her head back with a dramatic flourish.
"This is the good stuff, Orleans! You know I always get the best to share!" Nora said cheerfully.
Orleans considered this truth, and then nodded.
"Open wide!" Nora cried. She tossed the sugar cube, and Orleans chomped it out of the air. "Good on you, Orleans!"
Ren sighed.
"Why am I here?"
"You're hot when you're watching me feed Orleans sugar cubes," Nora chirped, tossing Orleans another sugar cube.
"You say I'm hot when I'm not watching you feed Orleans sugar cubes," Ren deadpanned.
"Am I wrong?"
Ren was silent, and then a bit smug.
"No."
- - -
"Who likes carrots?" Velvet asked cheerfully, holding up a bushel of orange roots. Orleans happily chewed on the treat as the rabbit Faunus girl brushed her mane.
"So, um, I was thinking maybe... Maybe you could put in a good word for me?" Velvet asked eagerly. "Maybe... Tell him I like him?"
Orleans stared at her as she chewed. Velvet sighed.
"You're right... I have to do it myself. Another carrot?"
- - -
Jaune walked up to Orleans. He reached out and patted her on the side of her neck affectionately.
"Howdy Orleans. How you doing? Not too hot, are you?"
Orleans shook her head.
"Are you sure? I can get the rectal thermometer-"
Orleans bit him.
"YEOW! Geez, fine, sorry!" Jaune grunted. Orleans neighed, then nuzzled him affectionately. Jaune sighed and patted her on the back of her neck.
"You're lucky I can't stay angry at you. For too long, anyway."
He frowned and looked back at her haunches.
"We're going for a ride as soon as it gets cooler: You're starting to get fat."
She bit him again.
"OW!"
- - -
Orleans was standing in the shade, guzzling down water from the trough with great enthusiasm. The Aura-unlocked horse gave her a glance, before resuming her guzzling. She then pulled back, sending up a spray of water that flew up into the air and covered Orleans. It was rather majestic, Weiss thought, and the fact the horse didn't spray her (for once) was encouraging.
"Orleans," Weiss said quietly and tried very hard not to feel silly about talking to a horse, "I do care for Jaune very much."
Orleans snorted. Weiss shook her head.
"I mean it. He... Means a lot to me," she said. "But that doesn't mean we have to be enemies, right? We both want Jaune to be happy, don't we?"
Orleans looked considerate... For a horse. She neighed in agreement. Weiss smiled and pulled out the package she'd been hiding behind her back: A stack of magazines.
"Now," Weiss said, holding up the pages, "You see all these stallions? Racehorses. I could get any one of them to stud for you."
Orleans examined the magazine dutifully. She looked rather skeptical and snorted.
"What? These are the finest stallions in the world!" Weiss insisted. Orleans snorted again and turned her nose up. Weiss sighed.
Well, that was expected, she thought to herself. Fortunately, she was prepared.
"I see. You're like me, then. You prefer someone more down to Remnant. More of a blue-collar horse than some stuffy elitist," she said. Orleans scowled as well as a horse could and nodded. "Very well."
Weiss swapped the racing horse magazine for one about draft horses. She opened it up to page 12.
"See? This is Luscombe Nodram. The tallest Shire breed horse in the world. Now he's a prize winner, but he's a hard-working farm horse at heart," Weiss said with a smile, "See him? He doesn't look stuck up at all, despite his fame."
Orleans snorted again but did seem much more interested. Weiss smiled.
"You two would make beautiful foals," she said encouragingly, "And you know Jaune would love them. He loves baby animals, and so do I!"
Orleans leaned in a bit closer and examined the picture carefully.
"I will throw in these muffins my butler made," Weiss added, holding out a basket of the warm, delicious pastries Klein had sent her special delivery.
Orleans sniffed the muffins, then chomped down on them. She chewed them thoughtfully, paper and all.
She then nickered. Weiss beamed.
"So... You help me with love, and I'll help you with love. Sound good?"
Orleans huffed and again looked haughty as she considered it. She then neighed and nodded. Weiss nodded back, a smile growing on her face.
"Oh of course Jaune would always be first in your heart. Isn't that always the way?" She reached out tentatively. Orleans watched her intensely for a few moments... Before she relaxed. Weiss patted her on the back of her neck with a happy smile.
"Ahem."
Weiss froze and looked over her shoulder. Pyrrha stood there with a terrifying smile that did not marr her usually pleasant features in the slightest.
"Um... Hello Pyrrha," Weiss said, her smile becoming nervous.
"You know Orleans," Pyrrha said conversationally as she walked up next to Weiss, "The Hellenic citiy-states became very good at horse rearing."
She held up her Scroll and presented an image of a magnificent black stallion. Orleans' eyes were glued to the screen instantly. Pyrrha then pulled out a vial and popped the top.
"His musk, for your perusal," Pyrrha said, still smiling in a scary way. Orleans sniffed, and nickered happily.
"There, see? You help me, you'll get him," Pyrrha said, "We're both happy."
She held out an open box filled with dried fruit.
"I also brought you a sample of fruits my mother tells me is raised on a farm we own," Pyrrha said.
Orleans neighed happily and chowed down as Weiss gasped at her former idol.
"You're trying to bribe Orleans?! But Pyrrha, you're-"
"I'm not as good at this field of battle as others," Pyrrha said firmly, "But I am a fast learner... And I aim to win."
There was a pause. Pyrrha allowed herself a smirk.
"Besides... Orleans is clearly a horse of taste. She wouldn't go for some celebrity horse like an over-eager fangirl. Would you, Orleans?"
Orleans nickered again. Weiss's eyes narrowed.
"I see," she stated, "So be it."
The two young women glared at each other. Orleans went back to drinking water, happily sniffing the musk.
- - -
Yang walked up to the stable, her stride confident. Orleans was again drinking deeply of the water trough.
"Listen Orleans," Yang stated, "I don't do this for a lot of people. Or horses."
Orleans looked up skeptically. Yang held up a bucket of warm, golden oats. The horse nickered happily as she sniffed it.
"Yup. Honey and brown sugar baked. Highest-grade cut oats," Yang said with a smile. Orleans leaned forward, but Yang pulled the bucket back.
"But... Quid pro quo," she stated firmly. Orleans snorted. Yang nodded.
"Come on. You want to be pandered to?"
Orleans huffed.
"Well, I suppose we all like to be pandered to a little from time to time. But not all the time."
Orleans glared at her. Yang sighed.
"Okay look. I really like Jaune and I don't want to fight you. All right? So yeah, have this bribe... And don't screw things up for me. Or, horse or no horse, I'll kick your ass!"
Orleans snorted... But then nodded. A bit of respect was in her eyes. Yang smirked.
"There you go."
She held out the bucket. Orleans bowed down and began to eat happily.
- - -
"... And he took shop class! Shop class is so amazing! He's so cool! He helps me at the forge and even fixed up the bunk beds! So could you please help me out, Orleans? It would be great of you!"
Orleans looked at Ruby incredulously. Ruby beamed and held out a cookie.
"Aw, you look so cute: Have a cookie!"
Orleans took the cookie happily. She then shrugged and whinnied happily.
"Aw! Thanks Orleans!" Ruby hugged her happily. "You're so sweet!"
- - -
Nora stole into the stable, Ren keeping pace a few steps behind her. Nora beamed and held up a bag of sugar cubes.
Orleans nickered happily, throwing her head back with a dramatic flourish.
"This is the good stuff, Orleans! You know I always get the best to share!" Nora said cheerfully.
Orleans considered this truth, and then nodded.
"Open wide!" Nora cried. She tossed the sugar cube, and Orleans chomped it out of the air. "Good on you, Orleans!"
Ren sighed.
"Why am I here?"
"You're hot when you're watching me feed Orleans sugar cubes," Nora chirped, tossing Orleans another sugar cube.
"You say I'm hot when I'm not watching you feed Orleans sugar cubes," Ren deadpanned.
"Am I wrong?"
Ren was silent, and then a bit smug.
"No."
- - -
"Who likes carrots?" Velvet asked cheerfully, holding up a bushel of orange roots. Orleans happily chewed on the treat as the rabbit Faunus girl brushed her mane.
"So, um, I was thinking maybe... Maybe you could put in a good word for me?" Velvet asked eagerly. "Maybe... Tell him I like him?"
Orleans stared at her as she chewed. Velvet sighed.
"You're right... I have to do it myself. Another carrot?"
- - -
Jaune walked up to Orleans. He reached out and patted her on the side of her neck affectionately.
"Howdy Orleans. How you doing? Not too hot, are you?"
Orleans shook her head.
"Are you sure? I can get the rectal thermometer-"
Orleans bit him.
"YEOW! Geez, fine, sorry!" Jaune grunted. Orleans neighed, then nuzzled him affectionately. Jaune sighed and patted her on the back of her neck.
"You're lucky I can't stay angry at you. For too long, anyway."
He frowned and looked back at her haunches.
"We're going for a ride as soon as it gets cooler: You're starting to get fat."
She bit him again.
"OW!"
- - -