[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake: "Pyrrha. Is it true Jaune is the head of a cult?"

Pyrrha: "What?! That's absurd, Blake! This is not a cult!"

Blake: "It isn't?"

Pyrrha: "Of course it isn't a cult! Cults are for fake Messiahs! Jaune is the real thing!"

Blake: "He is?"

Pyrrha: "He is. He fits all the prophecies and all the criteria! Yes he is just getting started, but he's convinced me!"

Blake: "And what is his goal as the Messiah?"

Pyrrha: "Jaune! What is your goal as the Messiah, my beloved?"

Jaune: "I'm not the Messiah! And uh... Let's all get along, be nice, whether human or faunus, and destroy the Grimm?"

Pyrrha: "SO IT IS WRITTEN!"

Jaune: "Please stop saying that."

Blake: "So, you want us all to be equal and kind to each other, and to end the darkness that tries to destroy us?"

Jaune: "Yes! I don't think that's particularly profound or special! Just the freaking obvious!"

Blake: nods "Well! I'm sold."

Jaune: "Wait what?"

Blake: "I'm attracted to charismatic leaders seeking to change the world for the better, and you're much less of a violent psycho than the last one I followed!"

Jaune: "WHAT?!"

Pyrrha: "WELCOME SISTER!"

Blake: "So, will this cult-I mean, religion, involve orgies?"

Pyrrha: "I don't see why not~!"

Jaune: "I DO!"

Pyrrha: "He's so selfless and kind! Truly he must be the Messiah!"

Jaune: "No I'm not! And no orgies!"

Pyrrha: low voice "Totally will be orgies."

Blake: "Hee!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Arslan Altan seethed. She had come all this way to Beacon, to have her revenge. To get her rematch with Pyrrha Nikos!

The bitch could have at least acknowledged their rivalry!

But noooo! She just said "It's so nice to see you again, Arslan! How are you? I hope you're doing well?"

Mockery! Utter mockery!

She growled under her breath as she stalked her prey. Nikos, she was... She was different. She was still powerful, confident, and effortless in how she moved. Like the invincible goddess she was called.

But she had a weakness. She HAD to have a weakness.

"Hey Pyrrha!"

Arslan pulled away behind a locker to spy on Nikos and... Who was that? A blond, what was his name...?

"Hello Jaune!"

Ah, Jaune Arc. Her team leader. She thought Nikos would have gotten the spot, but this guy had gotten it instead. Arslan sized him up.

He was tall, trim, in armor. He had a sword and a shield, a close ranged fighter, clearly. He moved a bit awkwardly, but with a newfound confidence when he saw Nikos.

Arslan looked at Nikos and-Woah... Wait. She was... No. That was a blush?!

"You did so great, Pyrrha!" Jaune said happily, "In that exhibition match? You were incredible!"

"O-Oh, thank you," Pyrrha stuttered. Wait. She stuttered?!

"I've got some new plans for the tournament based on your performance. We could go to the library if you want to work on them?" Jaune asked happily. Nikos looked deeply regretful.

"I'm sorry Jaune, I have to talk to my agent," she said, "Um... Would you like to do it later?"

Jaune nodded and smiled warmly.

"Sure thing! I'll be in the library til late. See you later!"

He patted her on the shoulder. Nikos trembled. Jaune turned away and headed off, Nikos staring intently at his back with a dreamy look.

It seemed... Impossible. It couldn't be...

She's... She's sweet on him! Arslan thought in shock, And he... DOESN'T KNOW?!

How could he not know?! How could he not want to fall to his knees and worship her?! Like everyone else?!

Arslan's eyes widened.

Here was a boy... A man... Who just saw Nikos as a friend, not a goddess... And she was in love with him?!

Arslan... Had an idea.

An awful idea.

Arslan had a wonderful, awful idea.

- - -

Pyrrha hurried to the library, as quickly as she could without running. That meeting with her agent had dragged on for WAY too long. She barely remembered half of the details, and she'd have to do some revision, but that didn't matter!

She was back in Beacon, she was going to see Jaune, and everything would be fine!

She entered into the library and locked onto a familiar shock of blond hair... Which was next to another familiar blonde head. She blinked. Jaune looked up with a smile.

"Hey Pyrrha! I met a friend of yours from Mistral?"

Arslan Atlan looked up from the textbook Jaune had out in front of them with a sly, cat-like smirk. She had an arm around Jaune's shoulders, the sight of which made Pyrrha's blood pressure go up.

"Hey Nikos," Arslan said, "Just getting to know your friends here. Or should I say your boyfriend?"

"Y-" Pyrrha wanted to say, but she fell short. Jaune smiled and shook his head.

"Oh no. We're not like that. Pyrrha's just my partner."

It felt like a dagger was shoved between Pyrrha's ribs.

"And really good friends!"

Yup, that was another dagger, right into her heart.

Arslan's smirk became more devious.

"Oh? But you are close? Perhaps... Like a brother and sister?" Arslan asked.

Jaune hummed and slowly nodded.

"I mean... I guess?"

And there went another dagger, right into her heart. Pyrrha's fists clenched and she kept up her plastic, celebrity interview smile.

"It's... Nice to see you too, Arslan," Pyrrha managed. Arslan smirked.

"So..." She squeezed Jaune's shoulder, "Does that mean you're single?"

"Er, uh... Well, yeah," Jaune managed with a nod. Arslan leaned in and pressed her cheek against Jaune.

"How very... Interesting," Arslan purred.

Jaune gulped.

Tell her you don't care! Pull away from her! Be disgusted by her! Pyrrha's mind frantically screamed. Don't-Don't-!

"Uh... Um-"

"I've never been to Vale, you know," Arslan said, "Would you show me around, Jaune?"

"I uh... I guess?" Jaune managed. Arslan beamed, and practically dragged Jaune up to his feet.

"Wonderful! Let's do it right now!"

"I uh-URK!"

"Later, Nikos~!" Arslan said cheerfully, grinning savagely over her shoulder as she dragged Jaune out behind her. Pyrrha watched them go, her teeth grinding.

The pain in Pyrrha's chest turned to raw, burning rage. Her fists clenched tightly, imagining Arslan's throat in her grip!

She had been relatively neutral on Arslan before, just saw her as a worthy competitor who took their rivalry a little too seriously.

Now? Now, she had her undivided attention.

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Cinder scowled. Having to attend these stupid classes was all for the sake of the plan, but it didn't make it any less annoying.

And now, she was sitting alongside some annoying idiot in a history class. An idiot who had brought a baby along.

"Which brings us to the Albion Succession Wars over the Vacuoan Crown...!" Oobleck went on. The blond idiot on Pyrrha's team (she hadn't bothered to learn his name) was trying to take diligent notes while the baby sucked on his pacifier in the harness over the idiot's chest. The baby turned his large eyes onto her, staring intently. She scowled a bit at the baby, and tried to continue taking notes.

Those wide, innocent eyes were just so... Aggravating.

It's so annoying, she grumbled, Why won't he look somewhere else?

She reached down to get an eraser from her bag... And the baby reached out to seize her long hair.

"Ow!" She hissed, as the baby tugged on her long locks. The blond idiot started, as the baby giggled around his pacifier.

"Adrian, no!" The blond whispered. He pulled the baby's fist, which just made the baby tug harder. Cinder winced and glared death at the idiot.

"Just-Make him let go-!"

"Sorry sorry sorry!" The idiot whispered. The baby finally let go, distracted when the idiot shook a toy in front of him. The baby took hold of the toy and played with it clumsily. Cinder growled and held the hairs the baby had grasped. They were sticky, gross!

Well... Yes she had GRIMM inside of her, but this was far worse!

"You're paying for this," she growled. The blond idiot sighed.

"Sorry..."

After class, she followed him as he took his brat up and out into the hallway. She stood in front of him with a scowl, holding up her hair.

"Your brat got my hair sticky," she stated. The idiot winced again, then frowned.

"Oh, sorry... Hang on." He pulled out some spray and a comb, and grabbed her hair. Cinder's eyes went wide as she instinctively tried to pull away.

"What are you-?!"

"Hold still," the idiot ordered, his tone commanding enough she actually obeyed. He sprayed the hair with the bottle, then combed it quickly. He turned her around with a touch to her shoulder, and quickly applied the same treatment to the rest of her long, luscious hair. He turned her back and held up a mirror.

"How's that?"

Cinder stared. Just some hair spray of some kind and a comb but... She looked somehow even more ravishing?! She stared up at him in disbelief, as he grinned.

"An old family remedy from up in Radian," he explained, "When you have eight kids, sticky hair is one of the tamer things that can happen. Everything good?"

Cinder was loathe to feel any positive things for another, and yet... There was something inside her that warmed at the kindly smile on his face. At his touch.

"... Thank you?" She said, uncertain. The idiot beamed.

"I'm Jaune. Jaune Arc. This is my nephew Adrian," he said, pointing to the baby who was kicking anxiously. He rubbed his head and shushed him gently. "Shhh... It's okay... It's a pretty lady, Adrian, but you have to be respectful!"

Cinder found a flush come to her cheeks.

"Ah, pretty...?"

Jaune grinned and winked.

"He only grabs the hair of pretty girls," he said.

Cinder had gotten plenty of compliments, of course. She used her sexuality as easily as any other weapon. But this genuine sincerity...

Her Grimm writhed inside her, hard enough that pain filled her. Her knees trembled as she reached out to the nearby wall for support... But Jaune was the one who caught her.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked. The baby whined, staring up at her.

"I-I'm fine! Just-Just get away from me!" Cinder snarled. She turned and stormed off, her hair waving behind her.

The Grimm calmed down, though the pain lingered. She tried to savor it, as pain was power. That was a truth she had learned her entire life.

Just because some idiot had been kind to her with his stupid brat meant nothing! NOTHING AT ALL!

Nothing at all!

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Jaune was sitting at Team JNPR's usual table in the library. Adrian was with them, which had become increasingly common lately. Saphron's job assignment in Vale had gotten extended and Terra was working to get a house in Argus. So Jaune was the most stable feature in his little nephew's life.

As difficult as it was though, he was going to be there for Adrian. The little guy deserved it.

And all of his friends had really taken to him! Pyrrha and Ruby in particular cooed over him! Yang had a real soft spot for the kid! Even Weiss and Blake emoted around him.

Nora of course was happy to be an "Aunty", which... Well, in Jaune's heart? She wasn't wrong. And Ren did seem more at ease around the baby, too. In a manly sort of way.

He was holding Adrian right now, humming a soft tune to the little boy. At the questioning looks of his friends, Ren explained:

"A Mistralian lullaby. My mother sang it to me."

"Oh," Jaune frowned, but Ren gave him a small smile.

"I am glad to remember it," he said, "For your nephew."

Jaune smiled back. Nora's eyes were shiny, as she grabbed onto Ren's arm.

"I want one!"

Ren raised an eyebrow.

"A baby?"

"Yes!" Nora insisted.

"We can't steal one, that's wrong," Ren said. Nora grinned.

"Then we'll just have to make one," she crooned eagerly. Ren coughed. He handed Adrian over to Jaune, who gratefully took him with a smirk.

"Jaune," Ren began, "I-"

Nora gripped his shoulder, her eyes practically shining.

"We're gonna have a long, indepth conversation!" She said cheerfully. "Also sex! That was implied!"

Ren gave Jaune and Pyrrha a pleading look. Pyrrha blushed. Jaune shrugged.

"Sorry man," he said, "Command decision. Solve your personal issue yourselves."

"YAY! Best leader ever!" Nora cheered, dragging Ren out with her. The usually stoic young man's face was a mix of fear and anticipation.

"Are... Are you sure that's wise?" Pyrrha asked quietly. Jaune sighed, bouncing Adrian a bit on his knee when he fussed.

"I mean, there's a chance things will go badly between them and that will wreck our teamwork," Jaune said, "That's why romance in a team can be dangerous. But... I think they can work it out. Despite his reactions, Ren does love Nora. I know he'd never hurt her."

"What about Nora?" Pyrrha asked. Jaune smiled.

"Same thing... I mean, emotionally," he said, "Physically? Er... I mean... He can get over it."

Pyrrha blushed furiously. Jaune wasn't much better, but he hugged Adrian again as the baby squirmed.

"Hey, hey, chill out," Jaune said, patting Adrian's back. He turned him around and let him rest on the table. "There you go..."

Pyrrha scooted closer to him, beaming.

"You're so good with him," Pyrrha said happily. "I... I-I think you'll be a great dad..."

"Thanks Pyrrha," Jaune said with a smile. Pyrrha opened her mouth to say more, but a certain blonde brawler walked up to them with a broad grin.

"Hey Daddy Arc!" Yang said cheerfully. Jaune smiled back.

"Hey Yang!"

"So, whatcha doin'?" Yang asked, sitting in the chair on the other side of Jaune and scooting in. Heedless of Pyrrha's quick scowl.

Jaune opened his mouth to answer, but Adrian reached out and happily slapped the textbooks in front of him. Jaune shrugged.

"Hitting the books," he deadpanned.

Yang stared. Her face screwed up, and she laughed.

"Hahahaha! Oh man... That's... That's great!" She giggled.

Even Pyrrha and Jaune started to laugh, as did Adrian. Jaune sighed and shrugged.

"Well... I guess Dad Jokes just come naturally around a baby," he said.

"You mean normal jokes?" Yang asked with a grin. "What do you call a frog who's double parked?"

"Toad," Jaune replied, and they both laughed. Pyrrha smiled politely.

"Um, well..."

"What do you get from a pampered cow?" Jaune asked.

"Spoiled milk!" Yang giggled.

Jaune chuckled with her, as Adrian giggled happily as well. Pyrrha cleared her throat, and all eyes were on her.

"Um... What does a cow use... To do math? A... A cow-culator!"

Silence. Adrian whimpered. Pyrrha gasped.

"Oh no, don't cry Adrian, I'm sorry-!"

"It's okay, it's okay," Jaune chuckled, hugging Adrian and soothing him. Yang leaned in and stroked his back, getting very close to Jaune.

"Yeah P-Money. We don't all have the comedy chops," she said with a grin, "Sides, I'm the one who makes cow jokes. I've got the milk."

She very deliberately put her arms under her chest and smirked at that. Jaune flushed as Pyrrha scowled.

"Y-Yang! Not in front of Adrian!"

"Come on, he's a baby!" Yang insisted. "He's honest about what he likes, right?"

She pulled the baby to her chest, and Adrian snuggled in happily. She grinned, rather smugly, over at Pyrrha.

"See?"

"Yeah," Jaune chuckled, blushing a bit, "I... I think you'd be a great mom. Not just for that though!"

It was Yang's turn to blush. Pyrrha stewed behind her plastic smile.

Jaune looked over at Pyrrha and, sensing some distress, smiled.

"I-I think you'd be a great mom too, Pyrrha!"

The Amazon was reduced to a blushing, stuttering mess. Jaune blinked.

"Er, um... I meant that as a compliment?"

"Oh, she got it," Yang said with a grin, pressing in against Jaune with Adrian cooing in her bosom, "You smooth talker, you~. Now, tell me more about how good a mom I'd be. It's very moo-ving!"

"That... That doesn't make as much sense-"

"Play your cards right, and it will."

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Cardin Winchester strove to be dominant. To be the best, like his ancestors before him. Unfortunately, this year at Beacon had brought so many higher placed competitors that his options for that were slim. Academically? He was smart, sure, but he wasn't a genius like Weiss Schnee. Physically? He was powerful, but not the same level of powerhouse as Yang Xiao-Long or Pyrrha Nikos-Which was grating.

So... That left the social sphere. Which honestly just left bullying.

Picking on Jaune Arc was easy. The guy was a total wuss, and didn't even fight back. Cardin would have respected the wimp if he'd put in some effort, at least: What kind of a Huntsman wannabe folded at the first sign of intimidation?

Arc was no fun though. The appeal of bullying the little twerp was short lived. So, Cardin sought out a new target.

In the cafeteria, Cardin spotted a rabbit Faunus girl walking by. Perfect.

He got up, his team following behind. He headed after her, closing in.

She heard his approach, and turned around. His grin grew wide, he was all ready to seize her ears, call her a freak...

The sunlight came through the tall windows and fell over her. She stared up at him in some confusion, her large, chocolate brown eyes shining. Her full lips were like rose petals, her cheeks like sleek apples. Her skin was like fine porcelain, her nose was cute. Her hair swung in the hair behind her, gorgeous.

And her body... Her uniform barely held back her large, perfect bosom. Her legs were long and perfectly shaped. Her torsoe was a perfect hour glass-His brain pointed out how amazing her ass had been...

"Yes?" The beautiful vision asked, in a voice sweet and delicate as a song in the summer.

Cardin's face went bright red. He opened his mouth... Nothing came out.

Russel glanced up at him.

"Uh, Cardin? You okay?"

Cardin tried again.

"You're... You're...!"

The goddess made flesh looked just as concerned.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

"... Beautiful!" Cardin tried. The rabbit faunus girl went bright red. Cardin tried again.

Come on brain! INSULT! INSULT HER!

"Gorgeous!"

WHAT?!"

"SEXY!"

"E-Eep?!" The rabbit Faunus girl cried. His team was staring at him like he'd lost his damn mind.

"Um," the girl tried, "Th-Thank... You?"

MOUTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHAT IS GOING ON?!

"Cardin?" Dove asked. His team muttered behind him. Cardin turned to them, a plea in his eyes.

No! NO HELP ME YOU IDIOTS! GET ME OUT OF THIS!

His team nodded. Cardin felt a sense of relief. Yeah, they'd start bullying her, everything would be resolved-

"He's just shy, ya know?" Sky said, "He thinks you're the hottest girl ever! Uh... Velvet, right?"

The angel had a name-NO STOP THAT BRAIN WHAT THE FU-?!

"He-He does?!" Velvet asked, blushing. Dove nodded stoically.

"He does indeed. He would like to take you out on a date. He's just a little nervous."

WHAT?! NO! NO NO NO-!

"He'll pay for everything, yo!" Sky threw in, grinning behind his shades, "Only the best for a classy gal like you!"

Velvet hesitated.

"W-Well..."

"Look, come on, yes or no girl," Russel grunted, "It's not that hard! You wanna go out with a stand up guy, or you wanna just do nothing this Friday night?"

RUSSEL DAMNIT WHAT THE FU-?!

Velvet blushed, and smiled warmly at Cardin. A white noise filled his brain as he stared dreamily at her.

"Well, uh... S-Sure," she managed. "Um... Is 6 okay?"

"6 is totally cool!" Sky contributed, giving her a thumbs up. "Dress nice! He'll bring roses!"

"I do like roses," Velvet mused. She beamed. "Okay! See you then, Cardin!"

"Y-Yeah," Cardin managed. The rabbit faunus winked.

"You uh... You have a way with words," she said, a light joke. He nodded dumbly. His brain refused to acknowledge anything but her amazing rear as she walked off. When she was out of his sight, he turned and glared death at his teammates.

"What the hell did you just do?!" He hissed.

Sky glared.

"Uh... Set you up on a date? Isn't that what you wanted? I mean, she's a Faunus, yeah, but man, she is hot!" He grinned. "And so we helped you out! That's what bros do!"

"I-That's not-!"

"To think you would have the balls to defy your parents," Dove said with a sage nod, "It will be difficult, but if you want it, we'll support you, Cardin."

"No, I didn't-!"

"Ehhh... I mean, for a Faunus, she is hot," Russel said with a shrug, "There's gotta be an exception for insanely hot Faunus girls, right?"

Sky reached out and patted Cardin on the shoulder with a grin.

"No need to thank us, bro! Just being the best wingmen ever!"

Cardin buried his face in his hands and groaned.

- - -

On Friday...

Cardin stood at the door to Team CVFY's dorm. He held roses, with thorns in them. He was dressed in an okay suit, though certainly not his best. His treacherous teammates had not believed a word he said about not wanting to go on a date with a dirty Faunus-Hell, they were watching him and giving him thumbs up!

Some friends.

The second she open the door, he was going to tell her the date was off, and she was an ugly Faunus freak he hated. Yeah! He'd throw the roses right into her face, YEAH! He'd enjoy her tears! He was gonna-

The door opened. Velvet stood there in a beautiful red dress, that outlined her curves and emphasized her charms better than the uniform had. Her hair was perfectly coiffed. She blushed prettily as she smiled at him. Behind her, Coco Adel, her team leader, smirked with her arms crossed under her chest.

"Can I cook, or can't I?" She asked Cardin. "I'd say I did a good job, Vel. His eyes are about to pop out of his skull."

"Coco!" Velvet scolded with a blush. She beamed up at him warmly. As though his arms were not obeying his brain, he held out the flowers to her.

"Oh my! Uh, thank you!" Velvet said with a smile. She took the bouquet and sniffed them. She beamed at him.

"They're lovely," she said. She put them in a vase, before she reached out to take his arm. "So, uh... Shall we?"

Cardin knew he was gonna do something... But for the life of him? He couldn't remember what it was.

- - -

I mean, in most teenagers, hormones will override politics.

See: Romeo and Juliet.

Hopefully Cardin and Velvet's love story will not involve the mutual suicide...

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to go to a guy's only party at another dorm, but damnit, Jaune needed some bro time. Growing up in a household with eight women made him desire bro time. It was treasured.

That said, things had gotten a bit rowdy. And if Cardin was going to challenge Professor Port to a headbutt contest, well, he didn't have any desire to get in the way. Bro Code dictated that he didn't have to get in the middle of that or root for either side.

Or stick around when Professor Goodwitch inevitably broke it up.

That said, he was feeling very tipsy. That moonshine may have not been a good choice. Well, not ten cups, anyway.

Even with Aura, he was very tipsy. He staggered through the hallways, struggling to keep his focus.

He turned a corner, and scowled.

"Books!" He growled. "Freaking books!"

All these shelves full of books! That's not where he wanted to be!

He spotted a familiar twitchy bow attached to a familiar secret Faunus at a desk. He walked over to her, feeling quite put out.

Blake looked up at him, in curiosity.

"Jaune?" She asked.

"Blake!" Jaune said, scowling, "Why-Why are there all these-these books around?!"

She blinked at him.

"Because it's a library?" She asked.

Jaune nodded, waving his finger.

"R-Right... Library... Not where I wanna be..."

"You're drunk," Blake said, wrinkling her nose.

He scowled back.

"You're rude," he said.

"No, you're drunk," she stated, "That's just a fact."

"And you're mean," Jaune grumbled, "You're so mean! Stop being mean to Ruby and yer team, damnit!"

Blake's eyes widened.

"Ex-Excuse me? I am not mean-!"

"You're TOTALLY MEAN!" Jaune moaned, "To Sun too! He's such a good guy! Sure, he's-he's a simp-Not that I can talk-But he's a GOOD GUY!"

Blake shook her head quickly.

"I-I'm not mean-!"

"You know what you need?" Jaune stated, scowling. He reached out and grabbed her, yanking off her bow. Blake was so shocked she didn't resist. Her eyes widened as his hands went to work.

"O-Ooooh... Ahhhh... J-Jaune, no, wait-!"

"You've been begging for this for a long time!" Jaune growled.

"N-No, no, I didn't-!"

"You're lying!" Jaune growled, "You hide all this, but act so damn smug, tempting us men! And now a man's doing what he should've done FROM THE START!"

"No-No-Nyaaaaahhhhh~!"

"Yessss," Jaune groaned happily, "How DARE you hide your adorable kitty ears... And the cute kitty sounds you make when you get SCRITCHED! YOU'RE BEGGING FOR IT! TO BE SCRITCHED SO YOU MAKE ADORABLE KITTY SOUNDS!"

He pulled Blake into his lap and scritched behind her ears furiously. Helpless, Blake nyahed and meowed and crooned.

"Oooh, n-no, Jaune, nooooo-nyaaaaahhhhhnnnn~!"

"Tell me to stop," Jaune growled, "Tell me to stop, and I'll stop-!"

"Nyaaaaaahhhhhh! D-Don't stop, DON'T STOPPPPPP~! HUMAN FINGERS ARE THE BESSSSST~! NYAAAAAHHHH!"

- - -

Jaune awoke in the morning with a terrible headache. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. What the hell...?

"I thought Aura overcame hangovers," he mumbled, "Stupid bullshit soul magic doesn't make any sense."

He sat up and rubbed his face.

"Urrrrggghhh... What did I do last night?"

Someone handed him a drink. Jaune downed it, tasting cool, refreshing water.

"Ah, thanks..."

He blinked at the smiling Blake next to him.

"Blake? Wha-?"

"Good morning, Master-nyah~," Blake said cheerfully, "I apologized to my team and gave them hugs nyah."

Jaune stared at Blake. Her smile was unnerving... But even more unnerving was the collar around her neck. The tag read:

Blake Belladonna. Owner: Jaune Arc.

"So, what will we do today Master, nyah~?"

Oh boy this is going to be a long day...

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Cardin, Sun, Jaune and Ren are just chilling out and fishing at a river on Beacon's grounds.

Jaune: "This is nice, huh guys? Just bros being bros."

Cardin: "Well, I do need to rescue you guys from estrogen poisoning from time to time."

Sun: "Uh, my team is all guys too?"

Cardin: "You have Neptune."

Sun: "He is my best friend but... You're not wrong."

Jaune: "Okay... What were we talking about?"

Cardin: "Ren's repressed sexuality."

Ren: "It's not repressed. I'm just stoic. Shortstacks for life. Thicc in the best places."

Jaune: "So why haven't you made a move on Nora?"

Sun: "You're childhood friends, just get together already."

Ren: "It's hard to stop my feelings of treasuring our friendship from killing my boner."

Jaune: "Huh. That's fair."

Ren: "Though Ruby is starting to grow in Nora places so I could maybe practice-"

Jaune: "Slow your roll there, bucko. Man up and take the final exam, don't go looking for practice tests. Besides, Yang would murder you and so would I."

Ren: "Fair."

Sun: "She's part of Jaune's harem anyway."

Jaune: "I don't have a harem."

Cardin: "Yeah, and Velvet doesn't tie her tits down."

Jaune: "I do not-! Wait really?"

Cardin: nods, reverent "I have seen the promised land. It is good."

Sun: "So jealous you got an actual bunny girl for a girlfriend."

Ren: nods "Bunny girls are hot."

Cardin looks at Sun, confused.

Cardin: "Don't you have a catgirl? Or is she also part of Jaune's harem?"

Jaune: "DAMNIT I DON'T HAVE A HAREM!" huffs "Also Sun? You'd better tell Neptune to knock it off. Either commit to Weiss or don't."

Ren: "Or Jaune will add her to his harem."

Jaune: "I SWEAR TO GOD-"

Sun: "I mean I keep telling him not to act like a manwhore. It has literally nearly gotten him killed. But he keeps doing it. Hell I think he's doing it to spite you, Jaune."

Ren: "Envy is such an ugly emotion."

Cardin: "...Stop glaring at me. You could enjoy the perks of having a girlfriend if you actually confessed to Nora."

Sun: "Jaune handed Velvet to you on a silver platter! No effort, Cardin! You lucked into it!"

Jaune: "Imma be honest, I'm shocked that worked out the way it did. Super lucky for Cardin."

Cardin: "It-Well-Maybe a little! But, I-I would have romanced her on my own... Eventually..."

Much scoffing

Cardin: "But hey, I made a move! What about you, Sun? Why aren't you doing anything with Blake?"

Sun: "Well... She is crazy. Luckily I like them that way, but it takes time and skill. I'm wearing her down though! Got her to smile!"

Jaune: "Ruby eating a cookie through her nose will do that."

Sun: "Even so!"

Ren: "Are you sure you want to go for crazy?"

Everyone stares at him.

Ren: "... Right, forget I said anything. Carry on."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

"Ahem. Jaune."

Jaune looked up. He was trying to do his homework in the library, while Adrian sat in his carrier and chewed on a plastic ring. The Schnee heiress looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Yes Weiss?" He asked, bracing himself. He'd made Neptune go out and dance with her, and worn a dress at the dance. He'd also given up on trying to win her heart-Not that he'd had a lot of time to, what with having to look after Adrian.

She fidgeted a bit.

"I uh... I couldn't help but notice you're looking after your nephew a lot more."

Jaune nodded.

"I am, yeah. Saphron and Terra are both REALLY busy with the Vytal Festival."

Weiss nodded.

"I see. I was hoping I could help."

Jaune blinked.

"Oh? How so?"

Weiss cleared her throat.

"I was thinking we could go out with Adrian, on the weekend," she said carefully, "You could use a bit of... Of fun. I can watch him with you!"

Jaune blinked. He blinked again.

"Um, really?"

"Don't get the wrong idea," Weiss said quickly, "This-This is not a date-!"

Jaune held up his hands and shook his head.

"N-No! No, I get that! I'm not-I stopped doing that-!"

"Good! Good, because it isn't," Weiss said, "I-I just... I like cute things. Your nephew is very cute. You're doing a good job of looking after him, and well... I thought perhaps I could help out. We could just go out, have some lunch, you can play... Video games or-or something? And I can watch Adrian, while we go together!"

She paused, and turned red.

"And this is absolutely not a date! At all! We're... We're just friends! Watching your cute nephew! Together! While having fun!"

Jaune blinked again.

You know, in the Mistralian comics I read, this usually means she's actually asking me out on a date and this is just a cover... But... Nah! Come on! How often do those come true?

She's probably just being nice after I tried to help her with Neptune, that's all.

Jaune smiled and nodded.

"Sure. Though uh, you should tell Neptune so he doesn't get the wrong idea-"

Weiss sniffed haughtily, her face filled with disgust.

"Oh, don't worry about him," she seethed, "That useless cad is probably chasing after some new skirt. He dumped me right after the dance, can you believe it?!"

Jaune scowled.

"Geez Weiss... I-I'm sorry. If I'd known-"

"No, no, it's fine," Weiss said with a nod, and a small smile. "Honestly? It may be a blessing in disguise. It lets me see things I... I overlooked before," she said.

Jaune blinked again as she stared at him, with a soft look he had only seen her give Adrian. He blushed and nodded slowly.

"Uh... That's good... So uh, when do you want to go?"

"Saturday, around seven would be good," she said. Jaune nodded.

"Sounds good. Adrian's been getting up pretty early. I think the crib Saphron sent with him is uncomfortable-"

"Oh! Well then we can buy him a new one!" Weiss said brightly. Jaune shook his head.

"You-You don't have to do that-!"

"I-I insist!" Weiss said with a beam. She reached out and stroked the top of Adrian's head. The baby cooed at the attention and gave her a big, toothless grin. She tittered. "Such an adorable baby should have only the best!"

She smiled warmly at Jaune.

"And such an attentive da-er, uncle, shouldn't have to struggle to take care of his... Nephew, mm? Besides, I was a bit harsh to you at times. I... I didn't know what you had gone through."

Jaune shook his head.

"N-No, I was kind of-It was way too over the top, I'm really sorry-"

"We-We all make mistakes in the past," Weiss said with a nod, "But you've proven your maturity. So I should definitely give you... A second look."

Jaune flushed, and nodded.

"That... Sure," he said. Weiss snuggled with Adrian a bit longer, before she gave Jaune another warm smile.

"See you tomorrow!" She said, turning and practically skipping off. Jaune stared after her, and looked over at Adrian.

"Is it just me, or have things gotten kind of weird since you showed up?" He asked. Adrian blew a raspberry, and Jaune chuckled.

"Yeah, probably just me..."

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

A Scroll was ringing in Team RWBY's dormroom. The team was slowly getting their stuff together for another morning of classes. Ruby was the one to answer the call, groaning a bit.



"Hello?"



A pretty but severe looking young woman greeted her. Her eyes were blue and her hair was blonde. In fact, she looked a lot like...



"Hello? Jaune? Are you there?"



Ruby blinked. "Eh? No. This is Ruby Rose."



The woman frowned.



"Why do you have my brother's Scroll?"



"This is my scroll-Wait, you're one of his sisters?!" Ruby cried.



"Yes, my name is Tanya," she introduced herself, then made a face briefly, "Are you friends of his?"



"Yes!" Ruby said cheerfully. "Sorry you got the wrong number. Want me to go get him?"



Tanya shook her head.



"No, though... You are his friend, yes?"



Ruby nodded eagerly.



"Yes! His best friend! We help him out with Adrian all the time!"



"Then I suppose I could relay the message," Tanya said, with a mischievous look in her eyes Ruby missed, "But I hope you will only share this with other friends of Jaune? It's... Personal."



Ruby nodded, eager to learn more about her male besty's past. He barely talked about it!



"I promise!"



"Good. Adrian is safe and he'll be fine. The Bitch has no legal claim," Tanya said.



Ruby blinked. Her teammates tried to look like they weren't eavesdropping.



"Huh?"



She gave Ruby a faux surprised look that the young Reaper missed the significance of. "Oh? He didn't tell you?"



"Tell me what? What?" Ruby asked, silver eyes wide.



"Over a year ago, some bitch in our town seduced Jaune and got pregnant," Tanya said, "She was a gold digger and wanted to get into the family money, so she manipulated poor Jaune."



Tanya looked grim. Ruby gasped, as did Weiss and Yang. Blake did too, but she covered it up better.



"R-Really?!"



"Yes," Tanya grimaced, "Jaune was prepared to marry her, take responsibility, but then we found out she was planning on killing him and running off with his inheritance. We played the long game, and waited until she gave birth to Adrian to let them marry... And at the wedding, we found the poison she planned to use on Jaune and Adrian."



Ruby's eyes filled with tears. Yang swore. Weiss gasped, as Blake grimaced.



"How... How terrible!"



"Yup," Tanya said with a nod, "We gave her two options: She would leave and never comes back, or she would leave in a pinewood box. She ran off, abandoning her baby and Jaune."



"I... I never suspected," Ruby whispered. Tanya nodded.



"Poor Jaune does push the 'idiot act' a lot. It's his way of coping. Poor guy. Anyway, Saphron and Terra adopted Adrian, claimed he was theirs, and Jaune agreed to just play uncle. It was better that way. That Bitch can't get to him or Adrian... But I fear he may never recover from the damage to his heart. Just... Just tell him that Adrian is safe, please? Don't remind him of that heartache."



Ruby nodded eagerly as Tanya sniffled.



"I-I will! Poor Jaune... Don't worry, Tanya! I'll take good care of him! I-I promise! And so will all his friends!"



Tanya smiled, eyes shining with tears.



"Thank you Ruby. I'm so glad my brother has such good, caring friends... remember though! Please, don't tell him about all of this. Just tell him Adrian is safe. Anything else will open old wounds. Can you help him heal?"



Ruby blushed, then nodded eagerly.



"Absolutely!"



"Thank you, Ruby Rose," Tanya chuckled, "I'm so happy..."



- - -



In JNPR's dorm, a few minutes later, Jaune was getting dressed when his Scroll rang. He picked it up as Pyrrha fed Adrian. He gave her a grateful smile as he answered.



"Tanya! Hey! Still selling fridges to Atlas, huh?"



Tanya smirked.



"And making bank. Heard you got saddled with babysitting Adrian?"



Jaune shrugged.



"It's okay. I love playing uncle."



"Then you'll be happy to know our nephew's last test results came back fine," Tanya said, "He's perfectly healthy. He's safe and fine."



Jaune beamed, and rubbed Adrian's head. Pyrrha smiled with him.



"That's great! But uh, why call me about it?"



"Just wanted to make sure my favorite little brother knew," she demurred, "I'm not always calling just to stir up trouble."



"That'll be the day," Jaune deadpanned. "Nice talking to you, Tanya."



"Always! Also? Have fun~!" Tanya said, winking before she hung up. Jaune shook his head.



"Well. That's not ominous or anything..."



- - -



How does Tanya's prank go? And yeah, please, give me some feedback here.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake and Jaune go out into Kuo Kuana proper. After such an emotional night, Blake is glad of the company. That said...

Blake: "I don't think the bunny ears and cologne are going to fool anyone, Jaune."

Jaune: "It let me get in here, didn't it?"

Blake: "I... Maybe, but long term, we need to think of some other strategy-"

A few Faunus females walk up with broad smiles.

Faunus Girl 1: "Hello, Lord Arc!"

Faunus Girl 2: "We're so happy to have you here!"

Faunus 3: "You're such an inspiration! A Faunus Prince from Northern Sanus?"

Faunus 4: "And so handsome, too!"

Jaune: "Errrr..."

Faunus 1: "And a Rabbit Faunus, too! Whatever woman snags you will be very lucky!"

Blake: takes his hand "Yes. I will be."

Jaune: clears his throat "Er, uh, yeah-"

The Faunus girls gasp... And bow.

Faunus Girl 1: "We're so sorry, Princess Blake! Of course-A Prince would be here for you!"

Faunus Girl 2: "Please forgive us!"

They rush off. Jaune looked over at Blake.

Jaune: "Wait, 'Princess'?"

Blake: "I'm... Not technically a princess but they keep calling me that. Always have. And... Well, it will hopefully keep Faunus from bothering you too much."

Jaune: "Er... I mean, I'm not actually a Prince-"

Blake: "And I'm not technically a Princess. Besides, you're getting on my case over deception?"

Jaune: "Heh. Fair enough."

Later, at lunch at Ghira and Kali's home...

Kali: "Well Blake, congratulations!"

Blake: "... On?"

Kali: "Why, the marriage of course! I was congratulated by everyone! Tell me, shall we have the wedding here?"

Blake: pales "What?!"

Jaune: "What?!"

Ghira: "Well, I'm perfectly happy with Jaune as a son in law, but I never expected you to move so fast, Blake!"

Kali: "Still, he's far better than Adam! What a creep!"

Ghira: "Yeah. That beast. If he comes around here I'll castrate him! Slowly."

Kali: "With the cheese grater, dear!"

Ghira: "You would be the expert, love!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Jaune woke up to warmth cuddled up against him. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked around quickly, getting his bearings in the morning light streaming in through the windows. He looked around. Lots of artwork, posters of Faunus, and so many books...?

Wha... This isn't my room, where-?

He looked down. Blake was cuddled up against him, arms tight around his waist. Her face was buried in his chest, and she slept deeply. She looked... Content, which was a rare expression on her face.

They were both still clothed. Jaune breathed a sigh of relief. That was the last thing they needed to happen.

"Good morning Jaune," murmured Kali. Jaune slowly looked to his right. Kali was standing next to the bed, smiling cheerfully while his heart stopped.

He paled.

"I-Nothing-We didn't-!" He whispered. Kali pressed her finger to his lips and shook her head.

"I know," she whispered, "You were in no shape for that, emotionally."

Jaune nodded quickly. Kali smirked and winked.

"Not that I would mind," she said, "I would be happy to become a grandmother. Blonde kittens would be adorable."

His pale face turned bright red, as he squeaked around her finger. She withdrew her finger, still smiling at him. She winked.

"I'm glad, honestly," she said quietly, "That she has such a good friend like you. One who would come all this way, and try to help her. To get her back."

Jaune slowly nodded, though an awkward look came over his face.

"Um... I mean... We didn't really... Talk much," he whispered, "We barely exchanged a few words... She-She's more Ruby's friend than mine."

"Yet you're here," Kali said softly, "Why?"

Jaune shook his head.

"Someone had to," he murmured, "Someone... Someone had to pull everyone together. Someone had to get Yang out of her funk. Someone had to help Ruby recover, to keep Nora and Ren together..." He shook his head. "I'm... I'm the weakest. The most useless... So I did it."

Kali stared.

"Did what?"

He told her everything. About Pyrrha sacrificing herself to buy them time, and how he failed her. How he tried to keep Nora and Ren together after Vale fell. How he went to Ruby and worked with her, to keep her spirits up. How he actually fought Yang, got knocked through a wall, to snap her out of her depression. And how he went out to try and bring back Blake, all because Ruby asked him to.

"She... She said she couldn't do anything, that she was a failure," Jaune murmured, "But I didn't believe her. Not for a second. It wasn't her fault. Me...? I can't do anything worthwhile. I'm not strong, or fast, or smart-"

"Stop that," Kali said, quiet but stern. He looked up at her in shock as she glared. "You kept everyone together in the face of loss, defeat, and adversity. Stupid leaders will sacrifice everything in a hopeless battle just to save face. Good leaders will retreat after a loss, pull their forces back together, and hit back harder."

She rested a hand against his cheek, her eyes locked onto his.

"You aren't defeated until you stop fighting," she said softly, "As long as you keep getting back up, keep fighting, and never lose hope? You haven't been beaten. Your companions may be stronger, faster, and better trained... But an army needs leadership to win. It needs hope. You offer it. Never think that you don't matter."

Jaune sniffled. He tried to hide it.

"S-Sorry," he mumbled, "I-I'm sorry-"

"It's all right," Kali said compassionately, kissing the top of his head, "It's all right. It's hard to be strong for everyone else, all the time. I won't judge you for it. Everyone has their limits... But that doesn't make you weak."

Jaune managed a nod, after sniffling. He wiped his tears, but Blake's weight on his arm kept him down. He looked up as Kali pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his cheeks. She smiled warmly.

"I'm so glad you came though. I'm glad she has a friend willing to come all this way out for her," she said quietly. "Why don't you stay for a bit, Jaune, Hm?"

"I... I need to get Blake back... Or go back alone, if she won't come," he said. Kali nodded.

"I know. We'll see what we can do to help Vale. But Blake needs a friend... And we have some... Local troubles," she said. "We would appreciate your help."

Jaune shook his head.

"If I can... I'll try," he said. Kali beamed.

"Good," she nodded. "Now... Breakfast starts in an hour. You'd better get ready."

"R-Right," Jaune said. Kali then winked.

"Also? I meant what I said about grandkittens."

At his sputter, she vanished in a puff of smoke. Blake slowly woke up, blinked her eyes.

"Nnngh... Jaune? What... Why was my mother here?"

"Ah... Just telling me breakfast is in an hour," Jaune said quickly, bright red. Blake blinked again.

"Are you okay? Why are you so red-?"

"I'm fine!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Breakfast was fairly quiet. Ghira wanted to take Jaune out to the Guard Barracks to test his combat skills. Jaune agreed. Blake had also wanted to go, but Kali held her back: She was nearly recovered from her injuries, but not quite to the point Kali wanted to let her resume her previous training routine. Kali wanted to work with Blake more on her Semblance anyway, and Blake reluctantly agreed.

They stood in the doorway to bid Ghira and Jaune goodbye. Kali kissed Ghira passionately, and he returned it-Much to the mortification of Blake and Jaune. They just stood there, awkwardly, as Kali and Ghira made out.

"Um... Have a... Good day?" Jaune managed. Blake nodded.

"You too, Jaune," she said softly. Her hands twitched, undecided on what to do. Jaune looked just as awkward, but managed a wave and smile when Ghira finished making out with his wife.

"We'll be back by dinner," Ghira said cheerfully, "I have to do some inspections anyway."

"Take care, darling," Kali said cheerfully. She beamed at Jaune. "You have a good day too, Jaune!"

"I-I will, Mrs. Belladonna-Er, Queen-Er-" Jaune stuttered. Kali giggled.

"Oh come now, Jaune. Call me Kali!"

"Er... Sure... Lady Kali," he managed. Kali hummed and smiled.

"Good enough for now! Off with you!"

Blake watched them go, the guards falling into line around them. She frowned deeply as she kept her eyes on Jaune, his fake bunny ears standing up out of his messy blond mane.

"He'll be fine," Kali said softly, "I made sure it was well secured. The cologne I gave him is better suited to rabbit faunus, too."

"Yes Mother," Blake said with a nod. She sighed softly. "I still can't believe he made it this far like that..."

Kali chuckled.

"In my own days in the White Fang? I got into high security areas in similar ways."

Blake stared at her in shock, and Kali smirked.

"Ninety percent of the time, if you look and act like you belong? Most people, human or Faunus, won't pay you a second glance."

"And the remaining ten percent?"

Kali's smirk gained teeth.

"That's when you bring out the claws."

- - -

As was typical of her mother, Blake's 'less physically demanding' exercises were still quite difficult, even in the warm Belladonna Dojo. She meditated, focusing on channeling her Aura into Shadow Clones and making them perform movements.

"Next one, jump up. Next one, jump down. Next one, roll right. Next one, roll left!"

Channeling Aura also helped her heal, but it was still challenging. She had her clones doing all sorts of things around her, sweat beading on her forehead, as her mother barked commands.

"Next one, look sexy for Jaune!"

Blake flushed, but obeyed instinctively. A Shadow Clone emerged wearing a sexy, come hither smile, toying with her kimono to tease its contents.

"M-MOTHER!" Blake cried. Kali lightly slapped the back of her head with a bokken. "OW!"

Kali hummed and looked the clone over.

"Not bad, but nowhere near seductive enough," she stated. Blake scowled up at her mother, rubbing the back of her head.

"That hardly seems suitable for training."

"No, but it does address something holding you back," Kali said softly. She looked Blake over. "You're usually much better at this, faster. You're distracted."

Blake closed her eyes.

"Jaune coming here... Brought up a lot of emotions," she admitted. "Emotions I... I don't want to deal with."

Kali sat down next to her daughter.

"I know that dealing with them is difficult," Kali said, "But it has to be done."

"Can't I... Can't I just raise an army and go help?" Blake asked, looking plaintively at her mother, "Wouldn't that be enough to... To make up for all of it?"

Kali chuckled sadly.

"Were it that easy," she sighed. She shook her head. "You must give your troops a reason to follow you, Blake. Trading on your name and rank alone isn't enough. Not for the important battles. The only way to be that person is to confront your demons and conquer them first."

Blake looked away, staring at the far wall.

"There's just so much," Blake murmured. Kali nodded.

"I know," she said, "But we can take it, a battle at a time. So... What about Jaune?"

Blake shut her eyes.

"... He..." She hesitated.

"He what?" Kali asked quietly.

"... He told me, last night," Blake continued, "That he wished he had died instead of Pyrrha. That he... He was the expendable one. The useless one."

"You don't agree?" Kali asked. Blake shook her head furiously.

"Of course I don't agree! He-He stayed! He pulled Ruby and Yang out of their depression! He kept Nora and Ren with him! He figured out so much, did so much... He came all the way out here! I-I never thought that of him!"

Blake sighed quietly.

"I mean... I never really thought much of him at all," she admitted, "He was... He was Ruby's goofy blond friend. The one who got stuck in a tree in Initiation. The one who kept getting beat up, trounced and humiliated. The one who was dense as a doorknob... I just..."

She hesitated again. Her voice became thick with emotion.

"We... We made jokes about him. About how useless he was. How weak he was. Sometimes, we joked that he shouldn't even be there. I thought... I thought they were just jokes. Back and forth. I thought that's how he took them since he always... Always laughed it off."

She closed her eyes again.

"But he took it to heart, after Pyrrha... Pyrrha was killed," she murmured. "He genuinely thinks he's good for nothing. He's done so much more than I did... And he still thinks I'm better."

She sniffled. Fat tears began to roll out of her eyes, and down her cheeks.

"Me... The one who poisons everything I touch. Ruins everything. The one who always runs away, when my friends... My friends need me," she whispered. "Look at me... A princess, sitting in a palace, and... And someone I dismissed is the one who did... Who did what I should have done... He still thinks I'm a good person. And... And I'm not."

She bowed her head, her tears peppering the wooden floor beneath her knees.

"... He shouldn't have come," she whispered, "His friends... They... They don't need me. They need him... And he doesn't believe it... It's my fault, Mama... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...!"

Kali hugged her daughter tightly, as she sobbed. Blake tried to pull away, but Kali's grip was ironclad.

"It's all right, Blake, it's all right," Kali whispered, as her daughter wept.

- - -

The Home Guards were soldiers who split their time between guarding the city of Kuo Kuana and the Chieftain and members of the Council. They were well trained in melee combat, marksmanship, Dust use, and their Semblances. They drilled relentlessly, training whenever they didn't have anything else to do, led by some of Ghira's best commanders.

He had brought Jaune to the main training yard, and called up ten random guards. A mix of newcomers and seasoned veterans.

"This is Lord Jaune, from a Northern Sanus Faunus city," Ghira stated, and the guards nodded, "He will fight you all at once, non-lethally. Let's see how our brothers on Sanus are training their warriors."

Ghira stepped back, smiling at Jaune's worried expression. He then gestured to one of his Sergeants, Torg, a lizard Faunus, who walked up to his Chieftain. Ghira bent down and whispered in his ear.

"Get the Aura Measuring Sensor, please."

"Of course, My Lord," Torg said, turning and heading out. Ghira turned his eyes back and watched. The ten guards spread out and surrounded the hidden human.

Jaune pulled his sword and shield, and took a sure-footed stance with a determined look on his face.

The guards attacked Jaune from all sides and stayed in pairs to cover one another, wielding swords and spears.

Five minutes later, Torg returned... To see all of the guards knocked out or down, with Jaune apologizing to them and Ghira. Torg nearly dropped the Aura Sensor, but he recovered and kept it focused on Jaune.

"I'm really, really sorry," Jaune said. Ghira laughed.

"It was nothing they can't walk off, son! Don't you worry!" He clapped Jaune's shoulder with a large hand, and grinned. "Why not tell them how you did that, hm?"

"Sure, no problem, sir," Jaune said with a quick nod. The guards, now looking much less skeptical, assembled in front of Jaune. Ghira walked over to Torg, who shook the Aura Sensor and frowned at the results.

"Well?" Ghira asked softly. Torg looked at his Chieftain with wide eyes.

"He's got more Aura than two squads combined, at least!" Torg gasped.

Ghira hummed, and walked up to Jaune's side. He smiled at Jaune.

"Tell us Jaune. How long have you been training?" He asked.

Jaune coughed, looking embarrassed.

"Er... About a year? Maybe two years?"

Dead silence. Jaune sighed.

"I know I'm not as good as I should be, but I'm trying as hard as I can," he said. He bowed his head. "If you have any suggestions or training that you think could help me? I would really appreciate it, please. I want to help my friends and protect people."

"Two years?!" Torg grunted. "You gotta be having us on, lad!"

Jaune shook his head, his bunny ears shaking.

"No, really. Just two years. Sorry if I'm really sloppy. Again, I'm working as hard as I can."

Ghira let out another laugh, and patted Jaune on the back.

"We'll happily train you, son! You're doing well, but it's good that you recognize you can always improve," he said with a nod. "Mistralian style, right?"

"Er, yeah," Jaune nodded, "Though I've been learning from some other friends, too, with different styles."

"Good, good," Ghira said with a nod. "Though, only two years? You entered a Hunter Academy with... No experience?"

Jaune nodded, looking ashamed.

"Yeah... My uh, my family didn't approve," he admitted. "Sorry. Again, working very hard to get better."

"Good, but really," Ghira said with a smile, "You're progressing very well. Go on. How about you join the men for the morning training?"

"Yes sir, thank you sir," Jaune said with a rapid nod. He followed the guards, who had not lost their sense of awe at the secret human. Ghira crossed his arms as he watched them go. Torg stood next to his chieftain, frowning in disbelief.

"Two years? That's all?" He gasped. "And that-that boy can take down a squad of our guards without so much as a scratch?!"

"The boy has potential. All of his friends do, apparently," Ghira chuckled.

"But... Is he stupid?"

"No," Ghira said, his eyes narrowed, "But I believe I will have words with his family at some point..."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Different idea for Jaune's background...

- - -

Pyrrha thought of herself as a good person. The kind who didn't stick her nose into things without reason. The kind of person above eavesdropping or gossip.

And yet... As in so many other cases, Jaune Arc was an exception to those rules.

She was relaxing in the JNPR dorm room, alone, just 'chilling out' a bit, when Jaune's Scroll rang.

Her green eyes locked onto it as it rang again. She looked around.

"Jaune? It's for you?" Pyrrha tried, though not as loudly as she might have. She might disturb other people.

The Scroll rang one more time. Licking her lips, Pyrrha got up, walked over, took up Jaune's scroll, and opened it up to answer.

"Jaune Arc's Scroll. This is his friend Pyrrha speaking."

On the screen was a large, strongly built man with a fine, rugged golden beard and keen brown eyes. Standing in frame was a shorter blonde woman, with clear blue eyes and a gentle smile.

"Oh! Is Jaune all right, Pyrrha?" The woman asked. Pyrrha nodded.

"Yes, he's just out. May I ask who is speaking?"

"We're his parents," the man rumbled, "Nick and Isabel Arc."

Pyrrha smiled politely, and nodded her head.

"It's an honor to meet you, sir, ma'am. Did you need to talk to Jaune or can I pass a message along?"

Nick grunted.

"Just tell him his belongings have been shipped," he said, "We sold everything he didn't want to keep. It's in his account."

He paused.

"Along with a return ticket."

Pyrrha blinked.

"Return ticket? For a visit?"

Isabel shook her head.

"No... For when he finally gives up and comes home."

Pyrrha's eyes widened. Her voice though was calm.

"What do you mean?"

Nick frowned deeply.

"You have to understand... Jaune was... Was a sickly boy. He was premature, and suffered many illnesses after he was born. We had to keep him home through most of it. Homeschooled him, mostly."

Isabel smiled sadly.

"We're... We're very glad he grew up strong, but... After all he's been through? We... Well... We're willing to let him pursue his dream, but..."

Nick sighed.

"He's... Better off doing something less dangerous. Where he won't get in the way, or be a burden," he said. He looked sharply at her. "Not that he is! We don't-We have never thought that about him-!"

"But he had such a difficult childhood," Isabel said, resting a hand on her husband's arm, "And... And we think he'd be much happier doing something safer. We just... We just hope he figures that out before..."

Pyrrha shook her head furiously.

"N-No! No, Jaune's doing wonderfully!" She insisted. "He had a rough start, but he tries his hardest every day! He's making enormous progress! He's very smart, too, and thinks on his feet-He earns people's loyalty-!"

Isabel beamed. Nick grunted.

"That's good to hear," Nick said, "We've always known that he's strong in spirit. We've always known that. But his body..." He trailed off.

"Thank you for looking after our boy, Pyrrha," Isabel said with a soft smile, "We really appreciate it. And we... We know how much it means to him but..."

"But why can't you believe he'll succeed?" Pyrrha asked, more abrasively than she had hoped.

Nick grunted again, and looked to the side like Jaune did when he was guilty about something. Isabel sighed.

"If you had seen how he'd grown up... You'd understand," she said. "Just... Tell him we love him, and about his belongings, please. Nothing else."

Pyrrha slowly nodded.

"I will."

"Thank you Pyrrha. Goodbye."

The call ended. Pyrrha sucked in a breath. This is what she got from poking around. She turned to the door... And her jaw dropped. Jaune stood there before her, his face... Carefully blank.

"Jaune, I-I'm sorry," she said quickly, "I didn't mean... I just answered, and-"

"No. It's fine," Jaune said quietly. Pyrrha was very familiar with masks-She shaped her face to hide her emotions almost constantly. Jaune... His mask was actually pretty formidable. But she knew him too well now.

"I... I'm very sorry," she repeated. Jaune shook his head, and reached out to take his Scroll.

"I said it's fine," Jaune murmured. He walked over and sat down on his bed, staring at it. She fidgeted... Before she walked over and sat next to him. He glanced up at her, then back at the Scroll.

"... They wanted me to tell you they love you," she said. Jaune sighed.

"Yeah... Yeah, I know that," Jaune mumbled. "I do... They just don't believe in me."

Pyrrha frowned.

"Jaune, I-"

"I spent half my childhood bedridden," Jaune stated, a hint of bitterness in his tone, "They never complained. My sisters teased me, made fun of me when I was out and about, but the instant I got sick? I was glass. I was... Helpless. The neighbor's kids all called me the runt... Even after I got big and well enough to work on the farm. I thought... They let me handle horses and cows. They let me lift heavy things, do dangerous chores. Surely... Surely my family doesn't think of me as some sickly little brat anymore..."

He sighed, and shook his head.

"They're just waiting for me to give up, come home," he grunted. "I guess... I guess I can't blame them. If I had a child who spent most of his life trying not to die, I wouldn't believe in him, either."

Pyrrha wrapped an arm around his shoulders without thinking. Which is the only way she could have done it, really. Red faced, she barely kept her composure as he looked up at her in surprise.

"You would," she said firmly, "Because you would know what it's like. You'd support them, no matter what. And be there for them... Even if they failed. Because... Because you'd be a wonderful father, Jaune. J-Just like I know you're going to be a wonderful Huntsman!"

He stared at her, unreadable. She kept going.

"They love you... And you'll show them they're wrong, and... And they'll accept you properly. One day. I-I promise."

He smiled warmly. Impulsively, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you Pyrrha... Th-That... That means everything to me."

Her smile did not leave her face for the entire week after.

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Weiss had gone to visit Whitley. Her brother had of course opted for a hotel room at the best hotel in Vale. That was the least he could do, being a Schnee and all. Normally such luxurious surroundings would put Weiss a bit more at ease. But not now.

"Whitley," she said to her brother as she marched into the hotel room, "We need to talk."

Whitley looked up from his Scroll. wearing a dreamy look at first. She expected it to turn into his usual arrogant sneer but instead... He kept smiling.

"Hello sister!" Whitley said cheerfully, "What do we need to talk about?"

Weiss grit her teeth.

"Ruby Rose."

Whitley beamed.

"She's amazing, isn't she?" He asked happily. "She's so fun, and cute, and she loves the Baldr Arms 372!" He scoffed. "She still likes the Winchester 72 better, can you believe it? I guess it's a girl thing but-"

"You cannot see her anymore," Weiss said firmly.

Whitley's monologue sputtered to a halt. He stared at Weiss in shock.

"I-What?!"

"You cannot see her anymore," Weiss repeated, "She's... She's not good enough for you."

Whitley's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean, she's not good enough? She's your partner and friend, isn't she?"

"Yes, of course, and I trust her with my life," Weiss said, perfectly honest and sincere, "But she's not good enough for you."

"If she's good enough to keep my sister alive in battle, she's good enough for me," Whitley said, eyes narrowing.

"Do you think Father will see things the same way?" Weiss asked airly. "Be reasonable."

"You're the one who defied him first, remember?" Whitley shot back. Weiss shook her head.

"Becoming a Huntress is one thing-You're already planning marriage with her!" Weiss stated, waving her hands. She rarely did this but it emphasized her emotions.

"N-No I'm not!" Whitley insisted, his cheeks burning red, "I am absolutely not considering that! I-I mean, we haven't even had our first courtship outing! Our first dance! Our-Our first date-!"

"Yes, which is why I'm trying to help you nip this in the bud now before it gets messy!" Weiss insisted. She sighed. "Look, I know I haven't been the best big sister in-"

"Ever?" Whitley shot back. Weiss winced. That one... That really hurt.

"But I'm trying to help you now," Weiss insisted. "You're... You're young. She's young. This is just a crush! You'll get over it in no time! You don't even know what you're doing!"

Whitley scowled at her. Weiss continued.

"She doesn't know anything about romance! She's-She thinks taking guns apart and putting them back together is a fun outing, not a date-!"

"And so do I!" Whitley replied. He stood up, waving his Scroll at her. "What's the deal, huh?"

"I just... If you keep doing this, you're just going to get hurt," Weiss finally said, lowering her arms to her sides. "She'll get hurt. Do you really think Father would approve of her?"

"I..." Whitley shook his head. "I don't care what Father thinks of her!"

Weiss' jaw dropped. She could remember when she was younger, much younger, and heard Winter yelling something similar to their mother...

"Wha... Since when?!"

"Since I met a girl who wasn't some simpering idiot or a family member!" Whitley stated. He nodded firmly. "And... And maybe I'll mess it up, but I wanna try it!"

"Whitley, if Father finds out-!"

"What, are you going to tell him?" Whitley demanded. Weiss shook her head.

"Of course I won't-!"

"Then it's none of your business!" Whitley growled. He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Weiss was left frozen, feeling like she'd been hit with her own Ice Dust. She sighed heavily.

"What am I even doing?" She murmured.

- - -

Whitley made his way to Beacon, stewing over what Weiss had said. As he stepped off the Bullhead and headed for the dorms, his anger subsided and he thought things through.

In all honesty... Weiss was right about one thing. He didn't really know what he was doing. Sure, he'd gone out on fun outings with Ruby, but... Were they dates? Was this really romance or just friendship?

Friendship was... Was nice, true. But he wanted romance, damnit!

How did he get that? How did he even approach it?

Think, damnit, Whitley thought, as he walked through the dorm hallways, Think... There must be something... Anything...

Hadn't his sister mentioned some male student always after her? The Weiss he knew back in Atlas had endured a bunch of rich heirs and important men's flirtations with cold grace, and then just brushed them off. Complained about how boorish and stupid they were, then never spoke of them again.

If a man was trying his luck with his sister, and she was talking about it constantly in her letters back home... Well... That had to mean something, right? Maybe she was... What was the Mistralian term? Tsundere?

If this man was at least worth talking about... Maybe he could help Whitley with romance? It wasn't like he had a lot of other options.

He went to the dormroom right across from RWBY's. His (hopefully) future wife was out, but maybe...?

He knocked on the door.

A blond boy, two years older than him, opened the door. He was in a hoodie and boxers, and looked a bit fatigued. He yawned.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Jaune Arc?" He asked. The boy nodded.

"That's me. Short, sweet, and the ladies love it."

Whitley's eyebrows went up.

"Truly?" He asked.

Jaune smiled.

"Yup. You're Weiss's little brother, Whitley, right?"

"Yes! Yes, I am!" Whitley said happily. This Jaune seemed quick on the uptake!

"What can I do for you?" Jaune asked with a smile.

Whitley frowned.

"Er... I'm not really sure how to-"

Jaune frowned in turn. He then smiled, and guided Whitley over to another room. He opened the door and led him into a common room with a table, chairs, and couches. He sat Whitley down on a couch, and grabbed some sodas from a fridge. He walked over and handed one to Whitley.

"Give it a try," he said, "It'll calm you down."

Whitley studied the soda with scientific detachment. He took in the ingredients in an instant and made a face.

"You do know this is mostly sugar, right?" Whitley asked. Jaune popped open his soda, and beamed.

"Yup. That's the best part!" Jaune said, taking a long sip. Whitley mentally shrugged, then opened the can. He sipped it gingerly... Then slurped down more. And more! It was amazing!

He pulled the can away and sighed... Before he burped loudly. He flushed.

"I-uh-Excuse me-!"

Jaune laughed and gave him a thumbs up.

"Nice one!" Jaune grinned.

"That... That wasn't rude?" Whitley asked. Jaune shook his head, then belched himself. Whitley gaped.

"That-That was gross!"

"Yup!" Jaune said cheerfully. "Wanna do it again?"

"Yes!" Whitley grinned, holding up the can of soda... But he paused. "Oh, uh... Mister Arc-"

"Just call me Jaune, Whitley, you're only two years younger than me, right?" Jaune said smoothly, sitting on a table to face Whitley, "What's up?"

Whitley hemmed and hawed, and struggled. He looked up to Jaune with a frown.

"Well, I... I need help."

"Cool. How can I help you?" Jaune asked.

Just like that?! Whitley thought in shock.

"I-I don't know-How much do you want?" Whitley asked. Jaune shook his head.

"What? No, I don't want any money," he said, "You're Weiss's little brother! And Weiss is my friend. Mostly. So no need to pay me or anything!"

"R-Really?" Whitley asked, in a small tone. Jaune nodded.

"Really really. What can I help you with?"

Whitley sucked in a deep breath.

"... I think I'm in love with Ruby and I don't know what to do and I really want to win her heart because she-she's the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing girl in the world can you help me please?!" Whitley blurted out, his face quite red by the time he finished.

Jaune sipped his soda, and then slowly nodded. He grinned.

"You've come to the right place."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Blake recovered, well enough to get some tea before lunch. She sat with her mother in the dining room, both around the low table. Blake sipped her tea, as Kali sat alongside her. She stayed in close contact with her, shoulder to shoulder: Just enough to let Blake feel her warmth, but not feel smothered.

Blake stared at her tea in between sips. She shook her head.

"Mom, I... I'm sorry-"

"There's nothing to be sorry for to me," Kali said. Blake looked at her, eyes filled with anguish.

"But I-!"

"There is a lot to work on, and a lot to make up for," Kali said softly, "But you aren't responsible for White Fang losing its way." She sighed. "Your father and I have our share in that, too."

"Mom, I-"

"If it was something we could solve on our own, we would have by now," Kali said firmly, "But we can't. It's... It's not as simple as yelling at a bunch of Faunus." She cupped her daughter's cheek. "It doesn't mean you're a failure, Blake. It just means... You need help. We founded an entire nation to try and make things right. It's hard, Blake. It's very hard. But just because it is... Doesn't mean you've failed."

Blake bowed her head. Kali hugged her daughter.

"It just means it's going to be a long road," she sighed, "But in the end? It will make the triumph all the sweeter."

"I just... I don't know how to make anything right," Blake said miserably. Kali tilted Blake's chin up with her finger, and smiled lovingly.

"Start with your friends," she said softly, "Start small."

"But-But that won't even-!"

"Remember when you started your training?" Kali asked softly, "Remember how hard you tried? How terrible you were at things at first? Those were small tasks, little training exercises. You had to start small. When you were ready? I moved you onto bigger exercises. Harder tasks. That's how it will work here, too."

Blake nodded slowly.

"And there's a friend here," Kali said quietly, "A friend of yours who despite everything? Still sees you as a good person, and himself as an utter failure. You can start there."

Blake nodded, more quickly.

"You're right... Y-You're right, Mom," Blake said firmly. "I-I'm going... I'm going to make sure Jaune knows that-that I appreciate him! That I-I do care about him! That he isn't weak, or-or a failure!"

Kali beamed, and hugged Blake tightly.

"It's the perfect place to start, my little kitten," Kali chuckled.

- - -

It wasn't until the evening that Jaune and Ghira returned home. Saber Rodentia, the Head of the Guard, accompanied them, along with Sergeant Torg.

Kali and Blake greeted them, both in festive kimonos. Ghira grinned broadly when he saw his wife, and embraced her happily with a kiss.

"Mmm... What's the occasion?" Ghira asked with a grin.

"We have company, that's the perfect time to dress up a bit!" Kali said cheerfully. She smiled at Saber and Torg. "Saber! Torg! Will you join us for dinner?"

"Would love to, ma'am," Saber said, "But we're on watch tonight. Since someone snuck in." He turned a glare on Jaune. Jaune coughed.

"Er, sorry? But now you know how to keep it from happening again?"

"Exactly, Saber," Ghira said. He shook his head. "His analysis of our defensive holes is going to be used to ensure we don't have any such weaknesses in the future."

Saber grumbled a little, but nodded to his lord, and then Jaune.

"Yes sir. Come on Torg." The gerbil Faunus muttered under his breath about 'jumped up jack rabbits' as he and Torg stalked out to the manor grounds. Jaune stood awkwardly as he looked at Blake.

"Oh, uh, hey Blake," he said. He smiled and blushed a bit, his eyes sliding around her but not looking directly at her. "You uh, you look very pretty."

Blake managed a small smile, and nodded.

"Thank you," she said, "You look very, uh... Very good!"

Jaune raised his eyebrows.

"Uh, thanks," he said, "Been training all day. Probably smell terrible... Sorry-"

"No, no," Blake shook her head, "Uh... I always liked how you smelled. Back at Beacon."

Jaune and Blake stared at each other. She blushed a bit.

"Very earthy, like grass and sword oil and um... Yeah..."

Jaune nodded. "That's... Nice? I uh... You always had a nice smell too... N-Not that I was smelling you deliberately! Th-That would have been weird!"

"R-Right, totally weird!" Blake nodded back with a tiny, forced laugh.

"Not that I'm saying you're weird!" Jaune said quickly.

"I-I know," Blake said with a quick nod.

Awkward silence fell upon them once again. Jaune coughed.

"I uh... I'm gonna get a shower, uh, before dinner."

"G-Good!" Blake said. "Good. I-I'll see you there!"

"Cool! M-Me too! I mean, I-I'll see you there! Not-You know what I mean."

"Great!"

"Great!"

Jaune walked up to the door. Blake moved to the right, just as Jaune did.

"Uh, sorry-" Jaune tried. Blake shook her head rapidly.

"N-No, sorry!"

Blake finally moved out of the way enough for Jaune to move past. She watched him go. She then looked to her mother.

"So... Um... I've never... Done the supportive thing before," she said, "How am I doing?"

Kali managed a smile, even as Ghira covered up his mouth.

"It's a good start," Kali said with a nod.

Ghira coughed very hard into his palm.

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Kali: "Jaune, my dear daughter needs some comforting. Can you provide it?"

Jaune: "I... I can try. We did uh... We cuddled. And-And that's it!"

Kali: "It's fine, Jaune, it's fine! I was young once. I just know... You both need some comfort from someone you care for."

Jaune: "I... I mean, we barely talked-"

Kali: "Yet you came all this way for her, Jaune. You have talked now?"

Jaune: "Yes."

Kali: "Do you want to talk more?"

Jaune: "... Yes."

Kali: "Good. Let me provide you with the perfect excuse!"

Jaune: "Um, okay-?"

Kali, still smiling, tosses a small canister of Fire Dust into Jaune's guest room. It explodes. Blake runs up, panicked.

Blake: "Mom?! Jaune?! What happened?!"

Kali: "Oh, sorry dear! I dropped a canister of Fire Dust in Jaune's room! Clumsy me~! I guess you'll have to bunk together tonight!"

Jaune: "Er, uh, I-I mean, I could just sleep in another room-"

Kali: "No no no! I insist! Don't you insist, Blake?"

Blake: "I um, y-yes, sure! Come on Jaune. I trust you."

Jaune: "Uh... Sure... The room is still on fire-?"

Kali, still beaming, tosses in Ice Dust which activates and puts the fire out.

Kali: "Not a problem!"

Jaune: "I uh-"

Blake: "Please don't think about it."

Jaune: "Um, sure?"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

While at Beacon... Jaune knocks on the door to RWBY's dorm. Yang opens it with a smile.

Yang: "Oh hey Vom...it Boy?"

Jaune: "Hey Yang, Ruby and I were going to study, is she around?

Yang: blush "U-Uh... N-No, she's out at the machine shop... What's with the...?" She pointed to his face

Jaune: "Huh? Oh, yeah. I forgot to get new razors over the weekend. I was going to go get more-"

Yang: "No!"

Jaune: blinks

Yang: "I-I mean, uh... It's a good look for you!"

Jaune: "... You think so? It's kind of itchy-"

Yang: "It's worth it. Trust me. Um... Hey, since Ruby's busy, you want to study with me?"

Jaune: "Well... Sure, if you're willing? Fair warning, I'm struggling a little in History-"

Yang: "Me too! Don't worry! We'll-We'll make it our-story!" grins and winks

Jaune: "Hahaha! Geez, that's corny... But I like it."

Yang: "Hahaha! Th-That's great! Let me uh, let me get my things, hm?"

Jaune: "Sure!"

Yang shuts the dorm room door, and shivers.

Yang: "He got hot when did he get hot oh Gods!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

A few weeks after the Dance...

Weiss came into the cafeteria a bit later than the others. She'd gotten a Scroll call, which, judging from her scowl, had not been a pleasant experience. Ruby watched her march past her team, right up to Jaune.

Ruby was already on her feet and heading to her partner's side with her Semblance.

"Weiss I'm sure Jaune didn't mean to-!"

"No, no, it's okay Ruby," Jaune said, holding up a hand. He was looking uncharacteristically serious as he met Weiss's gaze. "I just want you to know, Weiss, I didn't know until last week. Sorry if it's giving you trouble with your dad."

Weiss started, then sagged a bit. She managed a slow nod.

"I... I see," she said. She made a face. "No, it's not a big deal... Yet, anyway."

Ruby looked between her friends curiously. Pyrrha, Ren, and Nora were also looking concerned. Yang leaned in, raising her eyebrows, as Blake peeked up over her book for a moment.

"So uh... What's going on?" Ruby asked, trying to sound casual.

"My father asked me to get closer to Jaune," Weiss said bluntly, "And to consider marriage to him."

"WHAT?!" Cried Pyrrha, Nora, Yang, and Ruby. Blake dropped her book in shock. Ren's eyes widened.

"Wha-But-How-?!" Ruby tried, as Pyrrha's face fell. Jaune and Weiss were actually quite calm. Jaune sighed and shook his head.

"I assume you said no?" Jaune asked. Weiss nodded.

"Yes. No offense-"

"None taken! Really!" Jaune said, a small smile on his face, "I-I wouldn't want to get into that with you like this, it would just be awful-!"

"Why would your dad want you to marry Vomit Boy?" Yang demanded.

"Y-Yes! Why?" Pyrrha asked, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Jaune sighed.

"You want to explain or-?"

"You explain," Weiss ordered. Jaune nodded.

"Okay. You guys have heard of the Monarchists, right?"

"Who?" Ruby asked, blinking. Weiss's eyes climbed heavenward.

Blake broke the silence.

"They're a political movement that want to put a King back on the throne of Vale," She said, "It's been growing in strength over the past few years due to how corrupt the Council has been. The thought is that a King would be a counter to the Council and could better represent the people's will, if he was chosen by them."

"Okay, great, thanks Professor Blake," Yang said sarcastically, "What's that got to do with Jaune?"

Jaune sighed heavily.

"My family, the Arcs, used to intermarry with the original royal family before they died out," he stated plainly, looking extremely uncomfortable, "And apparently, I'm the only direct male descendant of the last King of Vale."

Dead silence ensued. Nora gaped.

"So... You're... The Heir to the Throne of Vale?!" She cried. "WE'RE ROYALTY! ROYAL BUDDIES!"

"I'm not royal!" Jaune hissed, holding up his hands, "Look, my family's been getting bothered for years by the Monarchists! They kept wanting my dad or me to agree to-to basically run for King or something! But there is no throne, and I'm not becoming the King!"

"So, your dad thought that getting close to Jaune would be...?" Ruby asked. Weiss sighed in disgust.

"Several Monarchists have influence and power in Vale. My father obviously wanted to court them for business deals using me to connect with their chosen heir." She nodded gratefully to Jaune. "I'm glad to hear that it hasn't gone to your head."

"It's just annoying, really," Jaune grumbled, "I'm seventeen years old, and these people want me to become King! Probably do their bidding and crap!" He shook his head and looked worriedly at his friends.

"You uh... It really isn't a big deal, all right? Please don't... Don't treat me any differently-?"

Yang slid over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders with a grin.

"Don't worry, Jaune! You're still Vomit Boy to me, and always will be!"

"Aw," Nora sighed, "I wanted to be a Duchess! But! It's okay, Jaune-Jaune! We love you even if you're not a King!"

"We... We would never think differently of you, Jaune," Pyrrha said, her eyes shining as she "discreetly" bumped Yang's arm off of Jaune and scooted closer to him, "I think it's very admirable that you haven't-haven't used this for your own gain."

"You're our friend and always will be, Jaune," Ren said with a nod.

"You're... You're still my bestie, even if you're a king, right?" Ruby asked, looking worried. Jaune smiled, and held his arms open. Ruby squealed and hopped into his lap, hugging him tightly.

"Always," He said firmly. Ruby giggled and hugged him more tightly, unaware of Pyrrha's heated glare.

Blake, for her part, stared intently at Jaune with a thoughtful look on her face.

- - -

The next day, Jaune sighed as he put his combat gear into his locker. Combat Class had actually gone pretty well: He'd managed to beat Russel. It wasn't easy, but Pyrrha's training and encouragement from his friends had pushed him over the top. It hadn't been pretty, but he'd definitely won.

There was just one small problem...

"Hey, uh, Jaune?"

Jaune held in a sigh and looked over at Cardin. The taller boy was looking contrite.

"Hey, sorry about... Everything," he said quickly, "I-I didn't know you were-"

"I'm not the heir to the throne," Jaune said in irritation, "All right? There is no throne! And I wouldn't take it if I was offered!"

Cardin frowned.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked.

"Very," Jaune stated firmly.

Cardin shrugged.

"Just that... My Dad's on the Council, and he's actually pro-Monarchist."

Jaune blinked.

"A politician wants to limit his power?" He asked incredulously. Cardin coughed.

"I mean... It's more he's sick of deadlocks, nothing getting done, and the Council going this way and that just for their own benefit," he said. "He told me that a King might be able to help that. Make things better-"

"Or he'd just be a selfish asshole who became a tyrant," Jaune stated with tired anger. "I'm not going to be King, so just... Lay off, all right?!"

Cardin nodded.

"All right, all right," he said. "Just... My family did serve the last kings of Vale. It's... You know...Tradition-"

"Serve me by not being an asshole bully, okay Cardin?" Jaune sighed, "That would be the best way to serve me, and Vale, and everyone else. Apologize to Velvet, make her happy, and be a good person. All right?"

Cardin nodded, bowed, turned and left. Jaune groaned and slammed his forehead against his locker.

Yeah. That was a problem.

He emerged from the locker room a few minutes later in his uniform. He spotted a number of foreign and local girls nearby. All waiting for him, all eyeing him.

Shit...!

He felt someone take his hand and pull him away. He looked ahead, ready to thank Pyrrha or Yang or any of his other friends would be rescuing him this time... And stuttered when he saw it was Blake.

"Ah, Blake-?"

"Come on," Blake said urgently. They went back and forth through several corridors, expertly evading the girls. She pulled him into an empty classroom, and shepherded him in. He sighed in relief.

"Thanks," he said, "It's been a freaking nightmare and-"

The door lock clicked. Jaune slowly looked over at Blake. The secret cat Faunus slowly advanced on him. He wasn't sure why, but a chill went up his spine.

"Uh... Blake?"

"Jaune," Blake said quietly, "Did you know that there are a lot of Faunus who support the Monarchist movement?"

Jaune backed away until the small of his back hit a desk, and he could go no further. Blake continued to advance on him, slowly, like a cat closing in for the kill.

"I... I did not," he said honestly. "I thought that since Cardin's family supported it, you wouldn't-"

"Politics makes for strange bedfellows," Blake admitted, "But his family is more neutral towards Faunus Rights than overly hostile, for the most part. I'm sure with the proper incentives, they could support things like a Universal Rights Bill. More trade with Menagerie. Maybe... An alliance with them, to truly make them recognized as the Fifth Kingdom."

She had closed to a few inches away from him, her yellow eyes boring into his. Jaune gulped.

"I uh... That would be... Niiiice?" He managed. "But I don't know what you expect me to do about it-"

Blake held up her Scroll. A petition app was on the screen.

"Sign this."

Jaune, due to instincts born from being accosted outside markets and stores dozens of times, automatically wrote his signature in an authentication box and pressed his thumb to a reader. The screen turned green. Blake smiled happily.

"Thank you. This should be enough."

"Enough?" Jaune asked faintly, "Enough for what?"

"Signatures," Blake stated, "To get Initiative 47 onto the ballot next year."

"And... That does what?"

"It will allow the citizens of Vale to vote to restore the monarchy, of course," Blake said with a smile, "With you as the King."

"WHAT?!" Jaune shouted, throwing his hands up in the air, "WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I EVER AGREE TO THAT?!"

"You just did," Blake deadpanned. Jaune frantically grabbed for the Scroll, but Blake tossed it well out of his reach.

"Blake-No-I-I don't want to be king!" He shouted. "There is no REASON for me to be King-!"

Blake pressed back against him, her eyes boring into his. She rested a hand on his chest.

"Jaune," Blake breathed, "We have an opportunity to achieve great things, for humans and Faunus. Can you imagine how much good you could do for Faunus rights if you had political power?"

"I-I mean I'd want to, but that doesn't mean I'd be any good at it!" Jaune insisted. "Wh-What would stop me from turning into a power mad tyrant?! Or-Or making terrible decisions that ruined everyone's lives-?!"

"We would," Blake said firmly, "Your friends. If you kept us close, we wouldn't let you go that far! We'd-We'd protect you! My father is a political leader too, I-I would help you-!"

"BLAKE!" Jaune shouted. He grabbed her shoulders and glared at her. "I. Don't. Want. Power! I just want to help people, and make the world a better place! As a Huntsman!"

"You could do so much more as a King, Jaune!" Blake insisted. "In fact, you're probably the perfect choice for this! You don't want power! You're afraid of what you might become with power! That means you wouldn't abuse it!"

Jaune shook his head frantically.

"I don't know that for sure!"

"I do," Blake said firmly. "I mean... I've made a lot of bad choices, bad judgements of people's character in the past... But I know you, Jaune. And if it helps? I would be with you. Every step of the way."

She took his hands in hers.

"I'm willing to do anything to make the world a better place, Jaune," she insisted, "Absolutely anything."

Jaune blinked. His brain finally caught up with his senses as his emotions quieted down. For instance, the fact that Blake was a very attractive woman. Insanely so. And that she was pressed up tight against him and she felt and smelled very good-

"Uhhhh," Jaune managed, before Blake spoke again in a soft whisper.

"An alliance between Vale and Menagerie," she said, "Could be achieved if we got married. Make it a true alliance."

"M-Married?!" Jaune squeaked. Blake stared at him intently and looked a bit vulnerable.

"Are... Do you not find me attractive?"

"Are you insane?! Of course I find you attractive!" Jaune blurted out. "You're insanely attractive, Blake!"

She actually blushed, and smiled.

"And you're... Quite nice too," she said with a nod, "And we're fairly compatible personality wise, so such an arranged marriage would be acceptable."

"Blake, I'm not a King, I'm not-!"

"And I'd even allow you to have other lovers," Blake said quickly, "Weiss would be a useful ally. So would Pyrrha. Ruby and Yang shouldn't be left behind. There are old provisions in Valean law for multiple wives, meaning more alliances-"

"BLAKE!" Jaune shouted. "I'm not going to be King! So we're not getting married, all right?! That's final!"

He had to put his foot down. His father had made that very clear. You couldn't just let your friends get away with anything or everything, it would make them into worse people.

Blake frowned.

"I... Oh..." She murmured. She bowed her head. "Maybe... Maybe I've gone too far."

"Maybe you have," Jaune said firmly.

Blake bowed her head.

"Sorry," she murmured. Jaune sighed, and patted her on the shoulder.

"Look," he stated, "I get what you want. I get why you want it. But I don't. And I never will."

"What if there was a situation where Vale needed you to be King?" Blake asked quietly. Jaune sighed and rolled his eyes.

"If there is such a situation where there's literally no one else who can lead and organize things to save Vale? Then yes. I will take up the role of King. But since that will never happen? It's irrelevant. You'd better just stop your petition and end it, because I'm not going to be King unless the situation is so desperate I can't make things worse, all right?"

Blake nodded.

"All right."

"Good," Jaune sighed. Hopefully, he'd just have to endure some more teasing and weirdness for a while, and then things could get back to normal...

- - -

At the Vytal Festival, some months later...

Pyrrha hadn't wanted to do it. But there was no other choice. Jaune... She loved him, she had told him this before sending him off. But she saw it in his eyes. He would die for her, in a heartbeat.

And she knew Cinder would kill him. Losing him... Was unacceptable.

She knew this fight would be tough... But as she kneeled, exhausted, bloody, with several arrows in her, blood pouring down her body as Cinder cackled in front of her in the burning Headmaster's office, she realized... She had thought she could win.

She had been wrong.

First time for everything, she thought, as she looked up at Cinder with a defiant glare. The massive Grimm Dragon loomed over, as Cinder laughed mockingly.

"So ends the Invincible Girl," she mocked, "Don't worry about your little boyfriend... I'll take good care of him~..."

Pyrrha seethed. She gripped the floor, tried to rally any strength she might have left...!

A Bullhead popped up, and Dust cannon fire erupted from its guns. Cinder threw up a shield of flames to protect herself, as the Grimm Dragon roared. Behind it, several commercial and police airships rose, firing Dust cannons at it in a massive barrage.

Over the sounds of explosions, she heard people running out behind her. She felt arms pull her into an embrace and carry her off, as Dust weapons fired around them.

"We got her, we got her, GO GO GO!" Shouted a familiar voice. She managed to force her eyes open, as a very dirty, very roughed up but alive Jaune stood over her. Medics in white clothing went to work, even as she reached out her hand to him.

"J-Jaune-"

He squeezed her hand and shook his head.

"Don't talk, you're gonna be okay," he said, "Good work."

She smiled up at him as one of the medics put a mask over her mouth and nose. He smiled back briefly, before looking to the pilots.

"Everyone out?!"

"Yes Your Majesty!" One of the pilots shouted.

Your Majesty...? Pyrrha thought.

Jaune nodded.

"Blow her to Hell," he growled.

Pyrrha tilted her head. She could see Ren, Nora, and Coco firing their weapons out of the hatch of the Bullhead. Even with them blocking her view with their bodies and fire, she could see the top of Beacon Tower. Cinder and the Grimm Dragon were both being bombarded with gun and missile fire from dozens of airships. A few warships flying flags she didn't recognize joined the fight, using their large guns. The top of Beacon Tower exploded, as the Grimm Dragon roared, engulfed in flames.

Then everything went black.

- - -

Pyrrha awoke to the sounds and smells of a hospital room. She wasn't entirely unfamiliar with it-She'd lost plenty of fights before becoming 'The Invincible Girl', after all. Her body felt like it was made of lead, she was so tired. Aches and pains pricked at her all over.

She forced her eyes open. It was a hospital room: A fairly nice one, all told. She saw Ren and Nora sleeping nearby on a cot, cuddled up under a blanket. They looked dirty but well, and Pyrrha smiled happily.

"You're awake."

She turned, and her eyes widened. Jaune stood there, in a long jacket over his armor and stubble on his face. A pair of Valean Rangers, their elite policemen, stood outside the doors with their weapons held in salute, though he barely paid them any mind.

He gave her a warm, if tired smile.

"J-Jaune," she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. He walked over and hugged her, a hug she gladly returned as best she could-There were many tubes and devices stuck to her.

"The doctors say you're going to be okay," Jaune whispered, "But it was... It was touch and go for a while."

"How long-?"

"A week," Jaune said bluntly. He caressed her cheek, as though to make sure she was really here. She nuzzled into it, enjoying his touch.

"You... You all right?" She managed. "Is everyone all right?"

"Nora and Ren are fine, just tired," Jaune said with a fond smile towards his friends, "They wouldn't leave your side. Ruby and her team are..." He paused, "They're okay. Yang's... She lost an arm, but she's alive."

"Oh, no," Pyrrha whispered. Jaune rubbed her back.

"She'll be okay," Jaune insisted, "We... We'll get her the best help we can."

Pyrrha nodded.

"... What about Cinder? And the Dragon?"

"Escaped," Jaune said, his eyes dark with anger, "We managed to hit them both hard enough to retreat, but we have no idea where they are now. Or what happened to the rest of her team."

"And Vale?" Pyrrha asked.

Jaune was silent for a moment.

"The Atlasian Navy was taken over by a virus, along with their drones," Jaune said bluntly, "They caused... Massive damage to the city, and turned off the auto defenses. Thousands are dead. Tens of thousands are homeless. We managed to get the defenses back online, just before we went after you. I... I got some help from Menagerie."

"Menagerie?" Pyrrha gasped. While she had no anti-Faunus feelings, the idea that the kingdom of Faunus would aid them sounded ridiculous. They had no love for humans! "How?"

Jaune sighed heavily.

"The Council was killed in the first few minutes of the assault," he said, "Along with Ozpin. The... Vale needed leadership. And..." He smiled sadly, "I'm the only heir to the throne around, so... I'm King now."

Pyrrha's eyes widened in shock. When she learned about Jaune's heritage... She had loved him more. Not because he was royalty, but because he rejected it. He wanted to be himself, not an idol for others to worship. To know how much alike they were? Jaune Arc had a permanent place in her heart after that.

She shakily raised a hand to cup his cheek. He looked so much older now, with his five-o'clock shadow and hardened eyes.

"You did what you had to, to save the kingdom," she murmured, "I-I'm... I'm very proud of you. I know it's hard, but I know you'll do a great job. You... You rallied the people and another kingdom to our cause, that's not easy."

Jaune sighed heavily again.

"Yeah... Well... You're not going to like how I did it," he murmured.

"Why?" Pyrrha asked.

One of the Rangers from outside coughed.

"Your Majesty," he said, "The Queen has arrived."

"Queen?" Pyrrha mumbled, in shock.

"She's not the Queen yet, Ranger, and you know she doesn't like that," Jaune said tiredly, "Bring her in."

Escorted by two Faunus in dark blue armor, Blake Belladonna entered the hospital room. She smiled warmly and wrapped her arms around Jaune.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah," Jaune nodded, hugging her back. "Yang okay?"

"She's... She's not great, but she's doing better," she said quietly. She turned to Pyrrha with a small smile. "Hello Pyrrha. I'm... I'm very glad to see you're okay."

"Queen?" Pyrrha asked again. Blake and Jaune both winced. Blake recovered first.

"My father and mother... Menagerie is a bit old fashioned when it comes to politics, in some ways," she explained, "The only way to convince our forces to come to Vale to aid them... Was with a political alliance. A... A political marriage. And since I'm the only child of my parents, the Chieftains of Menagerie..."

She held up her hand. A silver wedding band was on her finger. A matching one was on Jaune's.

"We're to be married to secure the Alliance," Jaune said, quiet and remorseful. Blake looked just as awkward.

Which is when Pyrrha passed out.

- - -

Yeah I don't even know how this came about.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune Arc is King of Vale. And he has to work very hard. But he does get some good news who walks in through his office door.

Jaune: "Professor Goodwitch!"

Glynda: "Mister Arc... I mean... Your Majesty-"

Jaune: "Whatever, Miss Goodwitch, I'm just Jaune."

He gets up and hugs her.

Gynda: "O-Oh... Um..." Hugs him back

Jaune: "I'm so glad to see you alive, ma'am."

Glynda: "Well... You're the King now. I didn't see that coming."

Jaune: "No one did. Especially me. Will you help me?"

Glynda: sighs "I suppose I'll have to." smiles "I know your test scores."

Jaune: "Haaaa... Thanks..."

Later on...

Glynda: "Mister Arc. There are several White Fang terrorists holed up in a warehouse here, surrounded by our forces."

Jaune: "Do they have hostages?"

Glynda: "No."

Jaune: "Bombs?"

Glynda: "No."

Jaune: "... All right. Put me on with the police chief there, and put me on speaker."

It is done.

Jaune: "White Fang terrorists, this is King Jaune. You have two options: Surrender and turn over your weapons, or I'll have your hiding place destroyed. You have twenty seconds to respond."

WF Agent: "You can't do that."

Jaune: "You idiots helped start a Grimm attack for a terrorist who could control them. Go on, tell me you have rights after that!"

WF Agent: "If we surrender, what happens to us?"

Jaune: "You'll receive trials based on your crimes. A fair trial here is unlikely, so most of you will be shipped to Menagerie to be tried there."

WF Agent: "Please. You just want to kill us all!"

Jaune: "If I wanted that, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. You can surrender and have the chance of living in prison, depending on your crimes, or me having my troops kill you all right now. What's your choice?"

WF Agent: "What guarantees do we have you'll accept our surrender?"

Jaune: "I know mercy is a skill you all like to pretend doesn't exist, but some of us actually have empathy for the humanitarian option. You want to not be treated like a crazy terrorist cell? Throw down your weapons"

WF Agent: HEY!! We were just-"

Jaune: "WORKING WITH SOMEONE WHO COULD CONTROL THE GRIMM!"

WF: "She said she would kill us if we didn't do it!"

Jaune: "All of you!?!?! Every single one of you, all of your Semblances, all of your Dust, and you were more afraid of one woman with an ego and fire powers than what we would do to you if you did this?!?!"

WF Agent: "W-We...!"

Jaune: "Several of my classmates are dead or were nearly killed in this attack. People I knew and cared about. I do NOT want to offer mercy to ANY of you... But I know I have to, because if I didn't? I'd be a tyrant, and not a King. Do NOT make me into a tyrant. Do not test me. Four other cells of yours have already been executed, down to the last man, for NOT surrendering. Do not make that same mistake."

WF Agent: deep breath "...okay. Okay. I-I'm coming out"

Jaune: "Alright, you're getting shipped to Menagerie, and I have been asked by King Belladonna to inform you that he has some questions for you all about Adam Taurus, his daughter, their relationship, and why 'no one thought to intervene or have the decency of calling her mother or I' before we send you off. Just incase you thought you would be getting a sympathetic trial."

WF Agents: (Gulp)

Afterwards...

Glynda: "Mister Arc, last I checked, you hadn't actually ordered the execution of any White Fang groups."

Jaune: "No, I haven't. But they don't know that."

Glynda: "... You might actually have a chance of surviving in politics, Mister Arc."

Jaune: sighs "Thanks for making me feel worse, Professor."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Why did everything have to sound so loud right now?

Everything, from her breath, to the pounding of her heart, to the little creaks of the dorm hallway-It was all hideously loud in Yang Xiao-Long's ears. Yet at the same time, everything just felt... Muffled. Numb. Like a dream.

She rested a hand over her stomach. The same hand that held the test results from the nurse's office. She'd had Nurse Tsune run them five times before the racoon Faunus had shooed her out of the infirmary.

She had pamphlets the school handed out for this situation. Many, many pamphlets. All with bright, comforting titles and words that didn't ease the panic in her at all.

She again reached out for the door, her hand shaking... And pulled it back.

Yang took some deep breaths, focusing on meditation exercises she'd had drilled into her since she was a child.

After all, they should help with Jaune, given he'd done the drilling-

"Ugh, I-I can't even laugh at that," she mumbled. She sucked in another deep breath, filling her lungs. She reached out again, and gave the door a quick knock.

The door opened, and a familiar redhead stood there with a smile.

"Hey Yang! What can I do for you?" She asked, polite and kind as always.

Oh geez...

"I uh... I-I need to talk to Jaune, please," Yang managed. Pyrrha frowned.

"Sure. I'll get him... Are you okay?"

"I..." Yang shook her head helplessly, the words just not forming. "Just... I need to talk to him, okay?"

Pyrrha nodded slowly.

"He uh... Did anything bad happen on your 'date' a few weeks ago? He didn't really want to say anything."

Oh geez. What a loaded question.

Yang shook her head.

"It's... I just need to talk to him about it," she said, "Then... Then you'll know."

And probably hate me forever...

Pyrrha very slowly nodded, her smile a bit strained, before she turned and went into the dorm. A moment later, Jaune walked up. His eyes focused everywhere but directly at her, even as he gave her a friendly smile.

"Uh, h-hey Yang," he greeted her, still a bit nervous and awkward around her.

"H-Hey, Vom-I mean, Jaune," she managed. Shit, she was just as awkward. "Um, so... I need to talk to you. Alone."

Jaune blinked, and slowly nodded. His face was very serious.

"Sure."

She nodded. She turned and... And he reached out to hold her hand. She looked down with a start, then back at him. He flushed but shrugged.

"J-Just... Um... You're trembling."

"Y-Yeah," she managed. "Yeah..."

She led him outside, to a park bench on the quad. They sat down together in silence. Birds were chirping, and there was the faint buzz of Bullhead engines in the distance. None of this was as loud as her heartbeat in her ears.

Jaune sat with her, his hand still in hers.

"So," Jaune began, "Uh... Look. About our date... If... If you're... If I did anything wrong-"

"No!" Yang shouted. "N-No, you... You didn't."

It had been stupid and impulsive, so of course it was her idea. She dragged Jaune away from studying because nobody else was up for going out. She was bored, he was available, and they went out. They had... They had honestly had fun, once Jaune had had a few drinks and loosened up. They'd talked about their childhoods, readily bonding over having to wrangle their siblings. She'd snorted her cocktail out her nose over his description of chasing his sisters while in a dress, he'd laughed hysterically when she related the tale of Ruby's first experiments with cooking.

It was... Funny how easily they'd just gotten along. Made her wonder why she hadn't hung out with him more.

After that, things got blurry. She'd overindulged a little, especially when he said he'd been drinking wine since he was five. They'd woken up in a hotel room, in bed, with no clothes. He was a stammering mess, she was... A little numb.

Appearances aside, she wasn't a slut. She hadn't gone all the way with a boy before, and... Well, she couldn't remember most of it! What kind of bullshit was that?! So they were a little awkward around each other after that, because Jaune had admitted that he was a virgin too. Still, what bits she could recall made her think it wasn't... A terrible experience.

But there was Pyrrha to think about. And Weiss, she supposed.

She hadn't thought much about that night until the last few days. Jaune had walked on eggshells around her.

Wonder how he'll take this, she thought.

"So," she began, taking a few deep breaths, "Um... You know how... Huntresses get Contraceptive Implants, right? All of us?"

"Y-yeah," Jaune began quietly, though his face was still blank.

"It's about 90 percent effective," Yang said. She managed a little nervous laugh. "M-My dad said that before it became mandatory, half the class graduated late. M-My mom graduated pregnant with me, heheh..."

Jaune nodded again.

"Right," he said quietly.

Yang licked her lips, holding back her frustration. Come on damnit, figure it out! Don't make her spell it out!

"So uh... Yeah... 90 percent effective is... Is pretty good, but uh... N-Not always," she said.

She fell silent. Jaune stared. He blinked. He blinked again. His eyes went wide.

"Oh," he muttered quietly. "I-Oh. Ohhhhh..."

Yang slowly nodded and handed over the piece of paper. Jaune took it in the hand that wasn't holding hers.

"Ran it... Had her run it five times," she admitted.

Jaune slowly nodded.

"Y-Yeah, um... Yeah," he managed.

Yang kept staring at him. He looked... Serious. Very serious. Like he did when he was in battle, and wasn't just flailing around like an idiot.

She sucked in a deep breath.

"L-Look," Yang began, "You... There are programs for this. I-I mean... A bunch of super-fit superhuman teenagers? This-this happens a lot. I-I'd just take a different study program, and get back into shape after-after I-You don't have to-"

Jaune was on his knees in front of her, grasping both of her trembling hands in his. He looked up into her eyes. She found herself going red over the intensity of his expression.

"Yang. This is my kid too," He stated, "All right? I-I promise, I'll be the best husband and father ever."

"Wha-?"

"I will never abandon you, or our baby, Yang," Jaune said, "I-I want to be part of their lives. I-I mean, you don't have to marry me if you don't want, to but I-I will always be there for you both. An Arc never goes back on their word."

Yang flushed.

"You... You mean it?" She whispered.

"Completely," Jaune said firmly.

"We've had... We've had one date-"

"And you're gorgeous, you make me laugh, and-and you're an amazing fighter," Jaune said, blushing a bit, "And you were a great mom to Ruby! I... I know you'd be an amazing mom. I just want to try to be a decent dad... And husband, too. If you'll have me."

Yang laughed. She felt a massive weight lift from her shoulders. The pounding in her ears stopped being so loud.

"I... I mean, the marriage bit... You were probably going to have to do that anyway, so my dad and uncle don't kill you," she giggled, tears slipping from her eyes down her cheeks, "But... I-I'm glad..."

Jaune smiled warmly.

"If it helps? I... I always wanted to be a dad," he admitted.

"It does," she said, "You have no idea..."

Jaune sighed.

"Who else knows?"

"Just you, and the nurse," Yang said. Jaune nodded slowly.

"Good... You can protect me when we tell our teams."

Yang giggled.

"Please, let them kill off my breadwinner? You've gotta be... Kid-in-me~!"

Jaune laughed, hugging her tightly.

"There's the Yang I know," he murmured.

She hugged him tightly back, resting her chin on his shoulder.

Was she still scared? Absolutely. Completely terrified.

But with Jaune at her side? Somehow, it didn't feel quite as scary...

- - -

Bit random, I know, but I always wanted to explore a more realistic view of things in Remnant when it comes to teenaged pregnancy. Especially among Huntresses. Birth control is obvious, of course, to minimize the losses of your forces, but at the same time, it's still a death world where humanity is on the edge of extinction. So Huntresses who do get pregnant would probably get a lot of help to have their babies, but also be able to graduate later, once they recovered.

If Aura can let you recover from deadly injuries over time by healing, recovering from childbirth would be a LOT easier, and would allow Huntresses to get back into fighting shape much sooner.

I'm not making a political statement or anything, just proposing a means of exploring this idea in a different way. And adding more Dragonslayer to the world.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

So far, giving their teams the news was going pretty well, Jaune thought. Weiss had her sword to his throat, but hadn't decapitated him yet.

Pyrrha for her part was glaring at Yang in a mixture of anger and sorrow, before she put on the fakest smile Jaune had ever seen her wear. Ren was staring, as blank as always. Nora and Ruby's eyes were shining. Blake had dropped her book and gaped at them in shock, so that was worth something, he supposed.

Yang had reached out and grabbed Weiss's sword with her gloved hand. She smiled sweetly, but her eyes were burning red.

"Weiss-cream," she said, "You're not about to murder my fiancé, are you?"

Weiss blinked.

"Oh, he's marrying you?"

"Eeyup," Yang said.

Weiss pulled her sword back and nodded with a smile.

"Well, that's all right, I suppose! Congratulations!"

Jaune let out a sigh of relief. Yang squeezed his hand comfortingly.

Weiss then glared at Jaune.

"You had better not think I'll indulge you in an affair, Arc!"

Jaune blinked.

"Why would I want an affair with you if I'm married to Yang?"

Weiss sputtered as she turned red. Yang snickered.

"Ouch! Guess you were really hiding your true feelings, huh Weiss-cream?"

"I WAS NOT!" Weiss cried.

That seemed to break the tension. Ruby sprang forward and hugged her sister with a squeal.

"YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! OH WOW! CONGRATULATIONS! I BET THEY'LL BE SUPER CUTE!"

Nora cheered and hugged Jaune.

"CONGRATS, BABY DADDY! I will teach them how to break ALL the kneecaps!"

"Ah, thanks Nora," Jaune said, patting her on the head as she beamed. Ren smiled.

"Congratulations," Ren said stoically, "I hope you have a best man in mind?"

"Like I'd choose anyone else!" Jaune laughed. Ren nodded again.

All eyes went to Pyrrha. She coughed, and plastered the fakest smile Jaune had ever seen on her face.

"Con... Congratulations," she managed. Jaune blinked.

Wait... Holy shit... She's... She's heart broken... Oh Gods... I'm such an idiot... What do I-?!

Yang squeezed his hand again, and shook her head.

"Later," she mouthed. She then looked at Pyrrha with a beam.

"Thanks P-Money. We're very glad to hear that! Thank you so much!"

"Y-yeah," Pyrrha managed. Her face looked like she wanted to break down in tears the moment she was out of sight. Yeah, Jaune was familiar with that. He had seven sisters, after all.

Shiiiit... I was so stupid, he thought. He looked over at Yang with a reassuring expression.

Not that I'm gonna change my mind. I mean, I can't, but I... I wouldn't. I care about Yang, deeply.

Yang looked over at Blake, who was still silent.

"Kitty Cat? Any thoughts?" She asked.

Blake hummed.

"Congratulations. We'll have to throw you a baby shower. It's a tradition in Menagerie."

"YAY! BABY PARTY!" Nora and Ruby shouted happily.

Weiss's eyes widened in horror.

"WAIT! The Vytal Festival!" She cried. "We were a shoe in for the finals and now-!"

"There will be another Vytal Festival," Yang said with a laugh, "I mean, I was looking forward to it, too! But I don't want to get my eggs scrambled, huh?"

Jaune winced. Yang winced too. Everyone else had similar expressions.

"Yeah, I-That's a lot less funny now that I'm pregnant," she said with a nod. "So yeah, I'm barred from Combat Class. I can do all the other classes, except for Field Missions." She elbowed Jaune. "Guess you'll have to do double duty!"

"Is that allowed?" Jaune asked.

"Totally!" Ruby said cheerfully. "This'll be great! Now I'll be your boss, Jaune!"

"Great," Jaune laughed, "It'll be nice to not have to do all the leader paperwork."

"So we're just going to lose anyway," Weiss sighed. Jaune scowled.

"Hey! I'm not going to be a liability! I can't afford to be!" He looked to Pyrrha. "Pyrrha? We need to double our training. Like, train me as hard as possible. Show me no mercy. At all."

Pyrrha sucked in a deep breath through her nostrils and slowly nodded with her fake smile.

"Sure thing," she managed.

Jaune then looked over at Yang and shook his head rapidly.

No, no, I'm not-I'm not going to cheat on you, I swear-!

She smiled again, winked, and once more mouthed "Later."

"So uh," Ruby began, "Have you told Dad and Uncle Qrow?"

Yang coughed. Jaune went pale. He squeezed her hand, as she squeezed his back hard.

"Maybe we should tell my parents first," Jaune suggested.

"Yeah, that might be best," Yang said with a nod.

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

This does mean that the Vytal Festival would go very differently. Yang can't fight in the tournament, though she can certainly help train Jaune and the others to fight. And of course, there's that scene.

Pyrrha: "Jaune, I love you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you knocked up Yang and got engaged. But... You should go, I'll handle Cinder. You have your family to worry about-"

Jaune: "Oh like hell." He shoves her into the locker

Pyrrha: "J-JAUNE! What are you-?!"

Jaune: "Go get help, come back, I'll buy time. If I die? Tell Yang and my kid I love them."

Rocket Boosts the locker away.

Pyrrha: "JAUNE!"

Jaune: sighs "All right..."

He takes the elevator up to fight Cinder.

Cinder: "Aw... So it's the teenaged father and failure who's come up to fight me? Why? You think your way with women gives you a chance against me?"

Jaune: "No, not really. I'm pretty sure I'll die."

Cinder: "You're right!" Holds up her hand and fires a fire blast, which he barely dodges

Jaune: "But... Haven't died yet."

Cinder: "What are you even fighting for?! That champion girl of yours has the best chance-Why? Regret? Guilt? Wanting to avoid parental responsibility?!"

Jaune: "Nope. But you clearly have been wanting that fight from the beginning. You resented Pyrrha so much. So why give you what you want? Me? I just want to save Vale, my friends, my wife, and my unborn baby."

Cinder: "That's all worth your life?!"

Jaune: "If necessary? Yeah."

Cinder: "Pretty words. You're going to regret it!" FIRE BLAST FIRE BLAST ARROW ARROW FIRE BLAST

Jaune: dodging like crazy "Shit shit shit shit shiiiiit...!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Okay so with some new information...

Pyrrha: "Jaune, I'm the only one who can fight Cinder-"

Jaune: "Wait wait wait. Let me get this straight. You have some of the Maiden powers, and if Cinder kills you, she'll get the rest?"

Pyrrha: "I... Well yeah but I'm not planning on dying-"

Jaune: "You absolutely are. You're willing to go to your death for us."

Pyrrha: "Yes... For you. Jaune, I-I love you-"

Jaune: "Yeah... I love you too, Pyrrha. Which is why I'm doing this."

Shoves her into the locker.

Pyrrha: "Wha-?!"

Jaune: "I'll buy time. Come save me with back up."

Pyrrha: "JAUNE-!"

Jaune launches her.

Jaune: "... It doesn't matter when, or where... If I have to choose between her, or me? I'll choose her. Every time."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

- - -

Jaune met with Pyrrha up on the rooftop, their usual training spot. She was looking away from him, staring out at the sunset. Jaune sucked in a deep breath through his nostrils, and let it out.

Okay... I was really, really stupid. Incredibly stupid... Maybe I should have bought a gift. What kind of gift says 'Sorry I missed that you were into me and went and knocked up some other girl?'

Yeah, he didn't think there was any kind of gift big enough to make up for that.

He rubbed the back of his head and sighed softly.

"Hey Pyrrha," he said. He walked up to her, "I want to... I wanted to say-"

Pyrrha turned around. Her eyes were red from her tears.

"Jaune," she said, "J-Jaune, I... I love you!"

Okay, so she's just coming out with it, Jaune thought. Okay, don't... Don't fuck this up. Please, Jaune, you've fucked up so much... Don't fuck this up too.

He walked up and pulled her into a hug. She hugged him back, grasping him desperately as though afraid he'd vanish if she let go. She sobbed into his shoulder.

"I-I have... Since we met... Since the Initiation... I'm so sorry...! I-I should have said it...!"

Jaune stroked her back as she cried into his shoulder. He gathered his thoughts.

Don't fuck this up... Think it through...

"I care about you too, Pyrrha," he murmured. "Honestly? I... I mean, I've always liked you. How could I not? I just... I never thought I had a chance with you."

Pyrrha pulled back, sniffling. She stared at him in disbelief.

"B-But... But Weiss-!"

Jaune chuckled softly.

"Yeah... That was... Terrible. I dunno, it... It would hurt a lot less to get rejected by her, than you. Because I honestly care about you, and... Well, Weiss just seemed like this impossible goal. What would I do if I even got her? But since she could be so... Er..."

"Mean?" Pyrrha prompted. Jaune nodded.

"Yeah... I guess it... I mean, if you had said no? That's a lot worse since we're partners and... And I care for you," Jaune said.

Pyrrha sniffled and slowly nodded.

"O-Oh..."

Jaune sighed.

"But... I care for Yang."

She stared at him. Jaune sucked in another breath and shook his head.

"I... We just... Click, you know? In just one date, I... We were so comfortable with each other. So it's... I'm scared, Pyrrha. I really am. Becoming a Huntsman is hard enough, but being a dad and husband?" He shook his head.

"I think... I think you'll do great," Pyrrha said earnestly, "In both of those."

Jaune slowly nodded.

"Thanks, Pyrrha. I... I hope we can still be partners. There's no one I would trust more to protect my baby."

Pyrrha flushed. Jaune let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry I was such an idiot... But... I'm... I'm not unhappy to be with Yang... Gods, that sounds terrible-"

"No!" Pyrrha insisted. "H-Honestly? I would feel worse if you were getting together with someone you hated."

Jaune smiled warmly. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She blushed heavily.

"So," he said, "Training, right? I..." He shook his head.

"I can't afford to be weak. Not with Yang, and not with my baby."

Pyrrha slowly nodded back.

"I mean it," Jaune stated firmly, "Do not hold back."

Pyrrha sucked in a breath and held up her weapons.

"All right..."

- - -

One hour later, Yang came up onto the roof. Her eyes widened as she saw the state of her baby daddy and future husband.

"Jaune! Hey!"

Jaune groaned. He was covered in bruises, his armor had dents, and she was sure he was bleeding from his head. He was barely standing, using his sword as a crutch.

Pyrrha, for her part, was breathing hard and had one bruise on her cheek.

Jaune managed to turn around and grinned with a dazed expression.

"H-Hey Yang...! I... I got in... A hit...!" He trembled, and lost his balance.

"JAUNE!"

Yang sprang forward and caught him before he could fall. She glared a bit at Pyrrha. The redhead had been trying to catch him first, but hesitated.

"Seriously?! What the hell?!" She demanded.

"Don't... Don't be mad, Yang," Jaune managed, "I asked for this... And... I got in a hit...!"

Pyrrha smiled, holding up her hand to touch her bruised cheek. There was pride in her eyes.

"He did manage to get a hit on me. That... That hasn't happened in a very long time," she said, beaming down at Jaune. "He's got a LOT of potential!"

"Geez... Did you have to go so hard?!" Yang demanded. Okay, yeah, they'd only just become... Whatever the hell they were, but still! He'd earned a hell of a lot of points with her for proposing and swearing to stay with her and their baby!

Screw it, she'd blame her pregnancy hormones for this.

She glared at Pyrrha.

Did she take her rejection that hard?

"I gotta... I gotta get better," Jaune mumbled, "Better for you... For the baby..."

He passed out. Yang stroked his hair, looking down at him. She couldn't help a fond, exasperated look.

She then looked up at Pyrrha, glaring back at full power. She clenched her fist.

"Seriously?!" She demanded. Pyrrha sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I... This isn't about..." She nodded to Yang's stomach. She worked her jaw. "Yang... Yang, I... I would never try to steal him from you. And I... I can't say that I'm happy, but..."

"You told him, huh?" Yang asked quietly. Pyrrha, looking guilty as hell, managed a nod. She sniffled, and a sad smile emerged across her face.

"Too late... As usual," she mumbled. Yang sucked in a deep breath.

"... I didn't... I didn't do this to spite you," she said, "I didn't want to steal him or anything, I promise-!"

"I know," Pyrrha said quickly. "I-I know."

Silence fell over the rooftop, as the stars began to come out. Pyrrha sucked in another breath.

"If you break his heart... I will be there for him," she stated. "He will always love your child, and he'll always be there for you, but... If he leaves..."

Yang slowly nodded.

"I know. I don't... I don't think he will."

Pyrrha laughed sadly and bowed her head.

"No... No I don't think so either," she whispered.

Yang was silent for a while, before she groaned quietly.

"Uggghhh... This sucks," she sighed, "I just... I-I mean... Believe it or not? I've always wanted to be a mother. To have a family."

Pyrrha stared at her in shock. Yang flushed and shrugged awkwardly.

"What? Yeah, I want to go and adventurer and kick ass... But that's meaningless without a family to welcome you back. Without watching kids grow up, become big and strong. Without a partner to always be there for you."

Pyrrha blinked, staring intently at her. Yang managed a small smile and shrugged.

"I don't know how, but... But I don't want to be abandoned. Never again, all right? I know that Jaune cares about you, too. So I want you to be part of that family, P-Money. However this turns out. Will... Will you please be part of it? Even if Jaune's marrying me and... And everything?"

She was being so vulnerable right now. Baring her soul. Her world had been turned upside-down, so, maybe being open and emotional was natural but... Geez...

Pyrrha stood at attention and held her weapons up in a salute.

"Yang Xiao-Long... Soon to be Arc," she said, soft but firm, "I swear... No harm will ever come to you, or Jaune... Or your child while I'm able to draw breath."

Yang stared... Then snickered, and then laughed. She wiped away her tears. Very earnest tears. She beamed at Pyrrha, as she hefted the unconscious Jaune up into her arms. Pyrrha laughed as well, after a moment.

"I... Thank you," she said, "Thank you so much. Now... Let's get him to bed, huh?"

"Sounds good to me," Pyrrha said with a nod.

- - -

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Taiyang and Qrow arrived first. Yang, Jaune, and Ruby waited for them in a conference room Professor Ozpin allowed them to use.

Taiyang and Qrow entered. Both looked terribly angry. Jaune gulped.

Jaune: "Hello Mister Xiao-Long, Mister Branwen. I'm Jaune Arc. I'm your daughter's fiancé."

Qrow: "Good. Don't have to hunt you down." Punches him

Yang and Ruby: "UNCLE QROW!"

Jaune: "Urgh... Uh..."

Qrow: "Good. You can take a punch."

Taiyang: "I don't know Qrow, let me try." Punches Jaune too

Jaune: "GAH!"

Yang and Ruby: "DAD!"

Taiyang: "Yeah! He can take a punch!" hugs him "Welcome to the family, son!"

Jaune: "Urgh... Thanks...?"

Yang: sighs "The fact he got with me should be enough proof he can handle it!"

Ruby: "Yeah! Yang's super rough with him!"

Yang: blush "Ruby!"

Ruby: "What?"

Taiyang: "Sorry girls, but this is what fathers of daughters need to do."

Nick Arc: "Glad to know we have that in common!"

Jaune: "Dad! Mom!"

Nick Arc, a giant of a man with a manly beard and biceps the size of watermelons entered. Isabel Arc, a beautiful, curvy older woman, also blonde, enters with him and looks Yang and her family over skeptically.

Nick: "This the girl you got pregnant and are marrying, son?"

Jaune: "Yes Dad, Mom, she is!" He takes Yang's hand again

Nick: "He propose properly, girl?"

Yang: "Yes! Yes he did!"

Isabel: "Hmmm..." Eyes narrow "You look like a tramp."

Yang: "Wha-?!"

Isabel: "A tramp! Getting a bun in her oven for an easy ride! That what you're after, girl?!"

Yang; "NO!"

Ruby: gasp "M-Mrs. Arc-!"

Taiyang holds her back.

Jaune: "Mom, no! She's not-!"

Isabel: "She can speak for herself, son! Are you a tramp or not?"

Yang: "I'M NOT! I-I was a virgin when we first banged!"

Isabel: "Oh? And you love Jaune? With all your heart? Pretty words from a pretty slut!"

Yang: "LOOK! I-We had one date! I don't know if I love him! But I love this baby! He's a good man! And we're going to stick together and make this work! For our baby, if nothing else! He's a good guy, and I'm never going to leave him or our baby! GOT IT, YOU OLD HAG?!"

Silence falls. Then, Isabel slowly nods.

Isabel: "Good. You were honest. I've heard so many girls and guys simper that they loved my daughters or son who were obviously lying. I can respect honesty." She hugs Yang, low voice "If you hurt him, I'll hunt you down."

Yang: low voice "I will never leave him. Not after what happened to me. No matter what you do."

Isabel: smiles and nods "Good. Welcome to the family... On a probationary period."

Yang: "Wha-How does that work?!"

Jaune: "MOM!" He pulls Yang to his side "She's carrying my baby!"

Isabel: "How do you know?!"

Jaune: holds up the paternity test "THIS IS HOW!"

Isabel: reads the tests... Flushes "Ah. Well... Good."

Silence. Isabel scowls.

Isabel: "This is a very emotional time, damnit!"

Nick: chuckles, hugs Isabel "My love."

Isabel: pouts "Don't treat me like a baby! I'm your wife!"

Nick: "I could never forget that."

Isabel: "Hmph!"

Taiyang: "Mrs. Arc, trust me, my daughter is not a slut."

Qrow: "Though honestly, we were betting that she'd get knocked up out of wedlock first."

Yang: "QROW!"

Qrow: "Hey, wasn't my bet."

Taiyang: cough

Yang: "DAAAAD!"

Taiyang: "What?! It wasn't a large bet!"

Yang: low voice "I'm thinking of eloping."

Jaune: low voice "I am too."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

thanks for the chapter but please dont make it into a habit to start writing in this kinda style, its bad form. and bad habits are hard to break if you get into them.

i mean this one where you just write the name of whoever talks like that:

Jaune: stuff
Yang: tells more stuff
Person C: blabla

i know this is just a funny short so it doesnt mean as much but it is precisely there that bad habits form, where you just unconciously write down your thoughts.

Click to shrink...

I write in script format for rough drafts, to get the dialogue out and figure out the "skeleton" of the story. I then write it up into actual prose after. Since this is for shorts and random ideas, I'm posting roughs to see if there would be interest in me doing some of these ideas as full on chapters, and getting general feedback. As for bad habits? Well, I've been doing this for twenty years and it seems to work okay. ;p

For instance! Here is another silly idea rough:

Our heroes are working in the weapons maintenance class. Jaune is working with Ruby to reforge Crocea Mors.

Ruby: "Don't worry, Jaune! I'll make your sword even better than before!"

Jaune: "Thanks Ruby, I don't want my family weapon to just fall apart."

Ruby: "It's not that bad, but it could use some tender loving care! Don't you, baby?"

Jaune: "Uh... Yeah."

Ruby: "Ooh! And I can add a gun to it!"

Jaune: "Er... No."

Ruby: "What? Come on! What's wrong with a gun? It'll be a big help-!"

Jaune: "I know Ruby, but uh... It's an Arc Family thing. See, whenever we get a gun? We... Change."

Ruby: "Change? Change how?"

Jaune: "Uh, forget it! I shouldn't have said anything! Just-No guns, okay?"

Ruby: looking suspicious "Hmmm..." Brightens "Okay!"

Jaune: sighs in relief

Later... When Jaune isn't looking... Ruby gets a Winchester Arms 45 pistol, and sneaks it with her when Teams RWBY and JNPR go on a training mission into the Emerald Forest.

She waits... She waits... She waits... Gets bored, eats cookies... Waits... But then...!

Jaune: "GRIMM INBOUND!"

They fight a pack of Beowulves. Jaune is doing pretty well... But a lucky strike from an Ursa knocks his sword out of his hands.

Jaune: "Shit-!"

Ruby: "JAUNE! CATCH!"

She throws the gun. She also gets Crescent Rose into sniper mode, to shoot and defend Jaune in case whatever happens is dangerous to him.

He catches the gun without thinking, and... A change comes over his. His eyes harden, then widen. He shoots the Ursa in the limbs, then blows it's head off with expert marksmanship.

Jaune: "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, MOTHERFUCKER!"

The other teams kind of... Pause, as Jaune rampages with the pistol: Blasting apart Grimm while cursing.

Jaune: "YEAH MOTHERFUCKER! THIS IS FOR LIBERTY AND FREEDOM! FUCK YOU, BALLDRAGGERS! RUBY! GET ME MORE CLIPS, DARLING!"

Ruby: "S-Sure!" She tosses them

Jaune: "FUCK YEAH!"

He gets hit by a King Taijitsu, but Jaune just gets right back up and shoots the Grimm in the eyes before punching into its throat and ripping out various organs.

Jaune: "YEAAAAHHH! COAT ME IN YOUR BLOOD YOU MONSTER! TEACH THE REST OF THE GRIMM TO FLEE FROM ME LIKE THE PUSSIES THEY ARE!" He fires repeatedly, blowing away more Beowulves "UP YOUR ASSES, YOU ABOMINATIONS! I'M MAKING THE WORLD SAFE FOR MANKIND AND DEMOCRACY! HOOORAAAAAHHHHH!"

The rest of the Grimm are dispatched. Pyrrha hesitantly approaches Jaune.

Pyrrha: "Um, Jaune? Are you-MMPH?!"

And Jaune yanks her into a tonsil twirling, lewd, messy and noisy kiss.

Jaune: "FWAH! THAT'S FOR BEING A GOOD SOLDIER, PYRRHA! KEEP THIS UP AND I'LL PROMOTE YOU TO MOTHER OF MY TEN CHILDREN!"

Pyrrha: bright red, stutters, grins like a schoolgirl "S-Sir, yes sir~!"

Jaune: "HOORAH! GREAT JOB, REN! STONE COLD MOTHERFUCKER, THAT'S YOU! KEEP ICIN' THOSE GRIMM!"

Ren: "... Thank you sir."

Jaune: "NORA! YOU ARE MY DARLING ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION AND YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG! KEEP IT UP!"

Nora: "SIR YES SIR!" salutes

Weiss: "RUBY WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Ruby: "I JUST GAVE HIM A GUN-MMPH?!"

And Jaune kisses her too.

Jaune: "MWAH! GREAT JOB, ROSE! KEEP IT UP AND YOU'LL MAKE SIDEPIECE!"

Ruby: dazed, giggles "O-Okay!"

Yang: "JAUNE! WHAT THE FUCK-?!"

Jaune: "XIAO-LONG! GOOD VIOLENCE! WAY TO MAKE THOSE DAMN GRIMM EAT THEIR SPINES! FUCK 'EM UP LIKE THE BOMBSHELL YOU ARE!"

Yang: "I... Well, yeah, but kissing my sister is way past the line-!"

Jaune: "I'LL GET TO YOU LATER ONCE I'VE CHEWED OUT THE DAMN PRINCESS AND KITTY! SCHNEE!"

Weiss: "Arc, what the hell is-?!"

Jaune: "YOUR ONLY ANSWER SHOULD BE 'SIR YES SIR', SCHNEE! THAT WAS A SHITTY PERFORMANCE, DAMNIT!"

Weiss: "But-I-!"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

Weiss: "S-SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?! YOUR TEAMMATES NEED YOU TO CAST YOUR MAGIC FUCKING MISSILES, NOT DANCE LIKE A BALLERINA! YOU CAN CAST LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING WIZARD! ACT LIKE IT, SOLDIER!"

Weiss: "S-Sir yes sir!"

Jaune: "BELLADONNA! FRONT AND CENTER!"

Blake: "I don't really know what's-!"

Ruby: "YOU HEARD HIM, SOLDIER! FRONT AND CENTER!"

Blake: startled, but obeys

Jaune: "YOUR NINJA SHIT IS GOOD, SOLDIER! BUT YOUR FAUNUS WOE IS ME SHIT DON'T FLY OUT HERE WHEN YOU'VE GOT GRIMM TRYING TO EAT YOU FROM THE ASSHOLE UP!"

Blake: "Wha-What does that even mean-?"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

Blake: "S-SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "YOUR PARTNER WAS GETTIN' SWARMED, BELLADONNA! SHAPE UP AND LOOK OUT FOR HER OR I'LL HAVE YOU COURT MARTIALED! THEN YOU'LL GET A REAMING LIKE ONLY IN YOUR DAMN SMUT BOOKS! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Blake: "S-SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "ALL RIGHT! WE SURVIVED! BUT WE CAN AFFORD TO DO BETTER!! EVERYONE DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY, DAMNIT!"

Professor Port: "Teams RWBY and JNPR! You passed the test, why are you still here?"

Jaune: "SIR! MY TEAMS ARE NOT PERFORMING AS WELL AS THEY CAN, SIR! SO I AM INSTRUCTING THEM AND HARDENING THEM FOR THE NEXT ENGAGEMENT, SIR!"

Weiss: "Help us Professor, he's gone insane-!"

Port: "Ah! Carry on, Mister Arc! Miss Rose! It's good to see some of the old Valean fire still exists!"

Jaune: "SIR! CAN WE GET SOME AIR SUPPORT ON THE NEXT MISSION, SIR?!"

Port: "I'll see what I can do. I miss the old days. Ah, the smell of napalm in the morning. Smelled like victory!"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

- - -

... Yeah no idea. Just thought that Jaune becoming an insane Helldivers-esque drill sergeant when he gets a gun might be funny. Your mileage may vary.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune sees Cardin picking on Velvet.

Jaune: "Geez... I gotta do something..."

Nora: "GO ON, SARGE! KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIM!"

Jaune: "Nora, I told you, I'm not gonna do that again! It's too freaky-!"

Ruby, Pyrrha, Yang, and Weiss all shove guns into Jaune's hands.

Blake: "Wait, seriously?!"

Weiss: blush "It-It's about time he took charge!"

Yang: blush "Yeah! Vomit Boy's never been better with a gun in his hand!"

Pyrrha: blush "I-I don't want to be kissed again, or-or anything!"

Ruby: blush "I WANT TO GET KISSED AGAIN!"

Yang: "RUBY!"

Ruby: "WHAT?!"

Jaune has gotten up from his seat and stormed up to Cardin, who is unaware of Jaune's change.

Cardin: "The hell do you want, Jaune-?!"

Jaune: "THAT'S SARGE TO YOU, SOLDIER! OR SIR! OR THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD ALMIGHTY! ATTEN HUT!"

Cardin, shocked, nevertheless feels some compulsion to stand at attention.

Cardin: "What the-?!"

Velvet: "J-Jaune, what are you-?!"

Jaune: "YOU TOO, SOLDIER!"

Velvet: "E-EEP!" She does so "Yes sir!"

Jaune: "NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SEEN SUCH DISGRACEFUL CONDUCT! WE ARE AT WAR! GLORIOUS WAR, FOR THE SAKE OF FREEDOM, LIFE, AND DEMOCRACY AGAINST THE GRIMM MENACE! WHETHER YOU ARE BLACK, WHITE, MALE, FEMALE, GAY, STRAIGHT, FAUNUS, MAN, HOT, NOT-HOT, OR EVEN BRITISH, WE HAVE A COMMON ENEMY! WE ARE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN ARMS, SOLDIERS! YOU WILL NOT ACT SO DISGRACEFULLY AGAIN! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

Cardin and Velvet: "SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "YOUR ATTEMPTS AT MAKING OUT ARE PITIFUL!"

Cardin: "S-Sir?!"

Jaune: "SCHNEE! FRONT AND CENTER!"

Weiss: "Huh?!"

Jaune: "ON THE DOUBLE!"

Weiss: "Y-Yes sir!"

Weiss quickly rushes up to Jaune's side. Jaune then proceeds to dip her in a tonsil clearing kiss that leaves Weiss bright red and panting happily after.

Jaune: "THAT THERE IS PROPER MAKEOUT PROCEDURE! WHAT YOU TWO ARE DOING IS AN UTTER DISGRACE! IT MAKES ME SICK!"

Cardin: "B-But we aren't-We weren't-!"

Jaune: "BUT! BUT! BUTTTT! BUTTS ARE WHAT I'M GONNA KICK IF YOU TWO DON'T SHAPE UP! NOW WINCHESTER!"

Cardin: "S-Sir!"

Jaune: "YOU ARE GOING TO HOLD YOUR SISTER-IN-ARM'S HAND!"

Cardin: "Sir?!"

Jaune: "ON THE DOUBLE, PUSSY!"

Cardin takes Velvet's hand.

Jaune: "VERY GOOD, WINCHESTER! YOU CAN USE YOUR GODDAMNED OPPOSABLE THUMBS! FUCKING BRILLIANT! NOW SOLDIER, IS IT NICE HOLDING HANDS WITH A HOT ALL-VALEAN BUNNY GIRL?!"

Velvet: "Um, I'm from Atlas, sort of-"

Jaune: "DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK, SCARLATINA?!"

Velvet: "EEP! N-NO SIR!"

Jaune: "THEN SHUT YOUR YAP! WINCHESTER, REPORT!"

Cardin: "Y-Yes sir, I like holding hands!"

Jaune: "SCARLATINA! DO YOU LIKE HOLDING HANDS?!"

Velvet: "Y-YES SIR!"

Jaune: "THAT'S GODDAMNED LEWD, SOLDIER! THE BEST KIND OF LEWD! WINCHESTER!"

Cardin: "Sir!"

Jaune: "YOU WILL GO BOND WITH YOUR SISTER-IN-ARMS! YOU WILL TAKE HER ON A DATE! YOU WILL DRESS NICE! YOU WILL ENSURE THAT YOU BOTH HAVE A GOOD TIME!"

Cardin: "Uh, sir-"

Jaune: "DID I ASK YOU A QUESTION, SOLDIER?!"

Cardin: "N-no sir!"

Jaune: "GOOD! ASK HER OUT, SOLDIER!"

Cardin: "DO YOU-Er... Do you want to go out?"

Velvet: "I uh... I mean... Sure?"

Jaune: "THAT IS PUSSY TALK, SCARLATINA! YES OR NO, SOLDIER?!"

Velvet: "Y-YES! YES I WILL GO OUT WITH HIM!"

Jaune: "GOOD! NOW! AFTER YOU HAVE A GOOD DATE, YOU WILL THEN ENGAGE IN COITUS! AND YOUR BONDS WILL DEEPEN SO YOU WILL BE BETTER PREPARED FOR THE GLORIOUS FIGHT AGAINST THE GRIMM MENACE! AND THEN YOU MAY CONTINUE TO GO ON DATES, THEN MARRIAGE AS THE FINAL STEP IN FORTIFYING YOUR BONDS! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Velvet and Cardin: "SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "GET ON IT!"

The two head off, still holding hands, blushing and looking very confused.

Weiss: "Uh... Jaune, I'm... A little confused-"

Jaune: slaps her bottom

Weiss: "EEP!"

Jaune: "I'M TRYING TO TURN RACISM INTO HAPPY BONDING BETWEEN SOLDIERS, SCHNEE! IF IT WORKS, WE'LL HAVE ONE MORE PAIR OF COMRADES IN ARMS WHO WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR THEIR HAPPY ENDING! A HAPPY ENDING INVOLVING POTENTIALLY DOZENS OF NEW SOLDIERS FOR THE GLORIOUS FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY!"

Weiss: "Y-Yessir!"

Jaune: "AS YOU WERE, SCHNEE!"

Weiss: "... Making out with you?"

Jaune: "YES!"

Weiss: blush "YES SIR!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Later, after emotions and hormones have died down a lot and Jaune is more clear headed...

Weiss: "But... How? Why?"

Jaune: "No clue. Maybe it's some kind of wacky Semblance for my family? But yeah, the moment we get a gun or smell napalm... We kind of change."

Yang: grins "Hoorah! It's awesome, Jaune!"

Ruby: "You're only say that because of that kiss!"

Yang: "Well, that and the way he fed that Ursa its spleen was art, Ruby. Now, go on and play with your toys, the adults are talking-"

Ruby: "I'M THE ONE WHO FIGURED IT OUT! I GAVE HIM THE GUN!"

Jaune: "LADIES! ENOUGH! Geez...!"

Weiss: "But... Your whole family?! I-I just... It's too insane! It makes no sense!"

Jaune: "Well what else could it be?!"

Blake: "You're mentally ill and just made up that story to appease us for some reason?"

Jaune: sighs "Hang on..." He makes a call "Hey, Terra? Yeah, can you put Saphron on? Give me a second."

Jaune plugs his Scroll into a holoprojector, and in an instant, Saphron and Terra Cotta-Arc, Jaune's sister and sister-in-law, are on screen. They have baby Adrian with them, too.

Jaune: "Hey Sis."

Saphron: "Hey Jaune! What's up?"

Jaune: sigh "I got a gun in my hand and-"

Saphron: nods sagely "Ahhhh. They don't believe you, huh?"

Jaune: "Nope."

Saphron hands Adrian to Terra. Terra hands Saprhon a gun. Saphron sucks in a deep breath... Then glares.

Saphron: "LISTEN YOU STD RIDDEN WHORES! MY BROTHER'S RIGHT! PUT A GUN IN AN ARC'S HAND AND WE BECOME LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTIN' MARINES FOR FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY! NOW YOU BITCHES BETTER BEHAVE YOURSELVES AND GIVE MY BROTHER A HORDE OF NEPHEWS AND NIECES FOR ME TO SPOIL, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Jaune: "Saphron, woah, I think that's enough-"

Saphron: "DON'T TALK TO ME WHEN YOU'RE BEING A PUSSY, JAUNE!"

Jaune: "FINE!" He grabs his gun "DON'T GIVE ME THAT LIP, SOLDIER, OR WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME MOTHER FUCKING PROBLEMS!"

Saphron: "DON'T GIVE ME LIP, PUSSY! NOT UNLESS YOU CAN BACK IT UP!"

Jaune: "FINE! OLD ARC MARINE TRADITION! WHOEVER KILLS THE MOST MOTHERFUCKING GRIMM IN AN HOUR WINS!"

Saphron: "FINE BY ME! I LOVE YOU, YOU LITTLE FUCKING PUSSY BROTHER OF MINE!"

Jaune: "I LOVE YOU TOO, BIG SISTER BITCH!"

They both run off. Weiss is gaping in disbelief.

Weiss: "Wha... But... WHY DID YOU HAVE A GUN READY TO GO LIKE THAT?!"

Terra: blush "... It's Friday night for us, so-"

Weiss: "NEVERMIND! FORGET I ASKED!"

Blake: "I wouldn't mind hearing more-"

Weiss: "DAMNIT BLAKE!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Headmaster Ozpin and Glynda Goodwitch wait in the former's office. And naturally, there is a certain subject that Goodwitch would like to talk about.

Goodwitch: "Headmaster, I was dubious at best when you let Jaune Arc in. Now, I think we might be better off expelling him."

Ozpin: "Nonsense! Student morale has never been higher. The use of Dust grenades and air support has greatly improved our mission success and the defenses of Vale! Even the exchange students are getting along! The young man has great charisma!"

Goodwitch: "He firebombed the Emerald Forest!"

Ozpin: "They're trees, they'll grow back."

Goodwitch: sighs "He also seems to have lost his indoor voice."

Ozpin: "Glynda, the Arc Family are fearsome warriors, but to become so, they gained some... Eccentricities. But I assure you, it is well worth it to allow these eccentricities."

The elevator doors open, and Jaune Arc steps out. He walks up to the desk and salutes.

Jaune: "HEADMASTER! PROFESSOR! I HAVE BROUGHT PAPERWORK THAT REQUIRES YOUR ATTENTION, SIR AND MA'AM!"

Glynda: sighs

Ozpin: "What kind of paperwork, Mister Arc?"

Jaune: "PER YOUR INSTRUCTIONS TO FIND MEANS OF IMPROVEMENT IN BEACON'S OPERATIONS, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF ASKING MY SISTER-IN-LAW FOR ASSISTANCE! SHE HAS PROVIDED SOFTWARE PROGRAMS THAT WILL ALLOW PAPERWORK TO BE COMPLETED IN MINUTES INSTEAD OF DAYS, WITH ONLY A MINOR INCREASE IN THE IT BUDGET, SIR AND MA'AM!"

Glynda looks it over. Her eyes widen in shock.

Glynda: "I... They would... Will you sign off on it, Headmaster?"

Ozpin: "Of course! Anything to make your paperwork load more manageable, Glynda. I asked Mister Arc to look into this with you in mind."

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR! LOGISTICS IS THE KEY TO MILITARY OPERATIONS! IMPROVING LOGISTICS IMPROVES EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF THE MILITARY LIFE, SIR AND MA'AM!"

Goodwitch: "Well... Uh... Thank you, Mister Arc, Headmaster. It's very much appreciated."

Jaune: "IN ADDITION! THIS WILL GIVE YOU ENOUGH TIME TO DATE, MA'AM!"

Goodwitch: "I'm sorry?"

Jaune: "A BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, AND POWERFUL HUNTRESS LIKE YOURSELF SHOULD NOT BE CHAINED TO A DESK, MA'AM! YOU SHOULD GET TO ENJOY ALL ASPECTS OF FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY, INCLUDING A HAPPY MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN IF YOU SO WISH! IF IT WAS NOT AGAINST SCHOOL REGULATIONS, I MYSELF WOULD HAPPILY FATHER YOUR CHILDREN IF ALLOWED, MA'AM!"

Goodwitch burns bright red and gapes at him. He's yelling, but he doesn't change his tone.

Ozpin: smirks and hides a chuckle "Very good, Mister Arc, though a bit forward."

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR! I ALSO FOUND MONEY IN THE BUDGET FOR FLIGHT TRAINING, TO GIVE US READY CLOSE AIR SUPPORT!"

Ozpin: "Really? That much? From where?"

Jaune: "THE COFFEE BUDGET, SIR! IT IS EXCESSIVELY LARGE FOR THE INSTITUTION!"

Ozpin: coughs "That-I'm afraid the coffee budget is non-negotiable-"

Goodwitch: evil grin "It sounds wonderful to me, Mister Arc! Headmaster Ozpin will sign off on that, count on it." Glares death at Ozpin

Ozpin: coughs "I'll... Consider it. Anything else, Mister Arc?"

Jaune: "SIR! MY FEMALE TEAMMATES HAVE REQUESTED THE OPTION OF MATERNITY LEAVE! AS SERGEANT, I HAVE RESPECTFULLY DECLINED THEIR REQUESTS BUT MUST PASS THEIR REQUESTS TO MY COMMANDING OFFICER PER REGULATIONS! WHILE I INTEND TO HAVE MANY CHILDREN BECAUSE LARGE LOVING FAMILIES ARE THE FRUITS OF FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY, I CANNOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE ALLOW SO MANY EXCEPTIONAL FRONT-LINE FIGHTERS TO BE OUT OF ACTION FOR NINE MONTHS AT THIS TIME!"

Ozpin: "Wait, all of them filled out this paperwork?"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

Ozpin: "Couldn't you just impregnate them one at a time?"

Jaune: "NO SIR! SUCH A THING IS ANATHEMA TO THE ARC FAMILY'S DEDICATION TO FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY, SIR! WHEN SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SOLDIERS REQUEST YOU IMPREGNATE THEM, IT'S ALL OR NOTHING, SIR! HOORAAH!"

Ozpin: "I uh... I see... Well, I'll just hold onto that paperwork and file it when it's more appropriate."

Jaune: "YES SIR AND MA'AM!"

Ozpin: "Dismissed."

Jaune: "YES SIR AND MA'AM!" Salutes, heads out, vanishes in the elevator

Ozpin: "Well... At least he's organized, huh Glynda?"

Goodwitch: staring at the maternity leave paperwork "Why do we even have that paperwork?!"

Ozpin: "Well, it's for the best you know of it now, huh Glynda?"

Glynda rolls up the paperwork and smacks him with it.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Yang stormed into the common room nearby Team RWBY and JNPR's dorms, her eyes burning red in her anger. She stomped to the cabinet over the kitchenette, and threw it open. She pushed aside the various boxes of snacks and cereal, seeking out her respite... But her search was in vain. She growled angrily.

"Who the hell took my booze?!" She growled.

"Yo."

She turned her fiery glare over at a nearby couch. Jaune Arc sat there, pouring himself a glass of her whiskey!

"That's not yours!" She accused. Usually, Jaune would cringe or even cower when she was really angry. Instead, he glared blearily at her as he held the glass up to his lips.

"I'll buy you another five bottles, but right now? I need it." He threw it back with some familiarity. He still coughed a little, but not nearly as much as she thought Vomit Boy might. He shook his head and made a face. "Gods, this is awful."

"It's my favorite!" Yang growled back, storming over and sitting across from him. She grabbed her own glass and poured herself some. She threw it back, unable to keep one cough from escaping her mouth, nor a wheeze. "Haa... It's supposed to taste like drain cleaner!"

"No, whiskey is supposed to taste like whiskey," Jaune stated firmly, "Not this crap. You're supposed to savor it as you get drunk."

"I don't want to savor it, I wanna be mad and drunk!" Yang growled. Jaune was enough of a gentleman to pour her another, and she was enough of a lady to nod back in appreciation despite her mood.

"Me too, but I'm still a connoisseur," Jaune sniffed.

"That a fancy word for snob?"

"It...!" Jaune paused, and poured himself another glass. "I guess so. What are you mad about?"

Yang sighed in deep anger as she sipped her glass.

"Just because I'm the only one with a freaking driver's license, that makes me the team taxi!"

Jaune nodded.

"Oh Gods, yeah. That's bullshit!"

Yang nodded back enthusiastically, seeing the recognition in his eyes. That mutual sense of being absolutely fucking done.

"YEAH! Why am I suddenly on call 24/7 for every stupid dumbass thing my team gets up to?!" Yang demanded. "Why do I have to risk my dad's car to pick up Blake when she gets in a fight with the White Fang?!"

"I know right?!" Jaune growled, throwing back another glass of the not awful whiskey, thank you very much! "I had to go bail Nora out of jail for trying to steal a sloth from the zoo! THE ZOO! Ren was supposed to be watching her!"

"Why do I have to pick up Weiss's fucking dry cleaning?!" Yang complained, accepting another full glass from Jaune before sipping it angrily. "AND PAY FOR IT?! She's got BUTLERS who can do that for her!"

"As much as I care about Pyrrha," Jaune said, "WHY do I have to pick up her freaking agents and publicists from the airport for her?! They're all so fucking sleazy and slimy and CREEPY! Are they trying to groom her?! If I was her I'd fire them all! OUT OF A CANNON!"

"AND WHY DO I HAVE TO FETCH MY UNCLE EVERY TIME HE'S NAKED AND DRUNK IN PUBLIC?!" Yang roared. She slammed the glass down, almost breaking it as she glared at nothing. "YOU CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING BIRD, DAMNIT!"

Jaune snickered.

"Asshole probably doesn't wanna get cooked."

"I'd cook him!" Yang growled. "I'd cook him with-with fucking shallots and garlic!"

"Crows aren't good for cooking, too lean and gamey," Jaune said with a nod. Yang stared at him, blinked away the fuzzies in her vision.

"But you'd still cook him if I asked, right?"

Jaune finished his latest glass, and nodded, smacking his lips as he wobbled on the other couch.

"Fuck yeah I would. With... With wild mushrooms and field greens. Like Argula... Arugululu... That one."

Yang snorted in laughter.

"You're drunk!"

"Yeah, I wanted to be drunk," Jaune snorted back, giggling a little. He stood up and spread his arms widely. "So I'm drunk! GO ME!"

"WOO! YOU WIN AT GETTING DRUNK!" Yang cheered. She threw back another glass of the whiskey, the burning hitting her so well. "Fuuuuck... Yeah..."

She went to the bottle... Then glared when she found it empty.

"Jaune! Hey, Jaune!"

"Yeah?" Jaune asked.

Yang held up the bottle with a scowl.

"Someone drank our booze!"

"Fuck... I mean... Did we have that much?" Jaune asked, leaning over to stare at the empty bottle. "I don't-I'm drunk, but... I didn't have that much... What proof is this?"

"Realllllyyyy high," Yang giggled, "Fuck! Someone... Someone stole some from us! That dick!"

"Fuck that guy!" Jaune agreed. He looked up at Yang and shared her scowl. "We gotta... We gotta get more, Yang! I'm-I'm not done complaining and being drunk!"

"Me neither!" Yang agreed happily. Jaune stood up, wobbled, and fell over the coffee table onto her. His face landed between her breasts. She laughed uproariously.

"You-Geez, you are drunk!"

"Nuh... Yeah," Jaune mumbled, looking up at her, "Yeah. That's... That's what I wanted... You drunk?"

Yang shrugged.

"Drunk enough," she said. She snickered.

"You went right between my boobs!"

"I couldn't MISS!" Jaune shot back angrily. Yang laughed harder, as Jaune blushed. "S'not funny!"

"So is! I knew you looked at 'em!" She cackled.

"So does everyone else!" Jaune countered. Yang smirked at him, enjoying his anger. It was nice to not be the only wounded party around here, for once.

Like, actually wounded.

"So you admit to it?"

"Yes!" He growled.

"Pyrrha's too?"

"YES!"

"Weiss's..." Yang broke down in laughter. "SHE AIN'T GOT ANY!"

"I KNOW!" Jaune shot back, "She's still hot! You're all so freaking hot!"

"And you go after the slim rich ballerina!" Yang giggled. Jaune scowled.

"What's funny bout-bout that?!"

"Well, if you asked, Pyrrha'd have yer babies," Yang snickered, "Ruby... I'd kill ya, but she'd be down-"

"What about you, huh?" Jaune asked challengingly. Yang smirked back at him.

"Well... That would require you having balls," she teased. "Vombit Oy! Vomit... Bomit Voy..."

"I do have balls!"

"You're on top of me," Yang laughed, "And you're not doing anything-!"

Jaune, driven by alcohol, hormones, and outrage, leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't a childish peck, either-Full tongue action commenced, and Yang was hardly going to let someone invade one of her orifices without challenge.

They made out furiously, sloppily, drunkenly... Before Jaune rolled over and took Yang with him to the floor with a thud.

"OOF!"

Jaune groaned, but he grinned back at her in triumph.

"Who... Doesn't have balls... Now, huh?" He growled.

She pulled him into another kiss, to shut him up.

- - -