Merlot Makes an Evil Clone of Pyrrha 2
AndrewJTalon
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Merlot: "Look Jaune! You can either join me and have a solid plan of defeating Salem-"
Jaune: "How is me having a harem and dozens of babies a solid plan?"
Merlot: "Or you can stick with the body hopping immortal who has failed to stop his ex-wife for thousands of years and even now is consuming that boy's soul!"
Oscar: "Wait, is he really-?"
Ozma: "No! Well yes, unfortunately. Not my fault, blame the gods!"
Ruby: "Oh my God, was it you or Ozma who checked me out?!"
Oscar: "Me! I mean him! Fifty-Fifty?"
Ozma: "I can't help these hormones!"
Ruby: "Jaune, I'm voting for Merlot."
Oscar: "Wait what?!"
Ruby: "Look, my sister is gonna end up some lonely angry biker lesbian with an apartment full of cats. I'm not gonna go that route!"
Yang: "Like hell I am! I'm taking Jaune!"
Ruby: "You don't get him! I called dibs!"
Yang: "Well I called secret dibs so there!"
Blake: "HA! He'll be part of my harem, thank you! Everyone knows I'm the harem lead in this series! He's mine!"
Yang: "Scat, cat! I came to my senses and you're a dumpster fire!"
Blake: "Oh please! I'm basically a princess!"
Weiss: "EXCUSE YOU, BITCH?! I'm the real ojou-sama around here and I'm getting my knight! Suck it, you whore!"
Blake: "I'm willing to wear a collar for Jaune! Just like in my porn!"
Weiss: "LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"
Pyrrha: "I'm totally fine with sharing, Jaune! The more the merrier!"
Jaune: "Were you always this freaky or is this the cloning thing talking?"
Pyrrha: "YES."
Ozma: "This is ridiculous. Merlot can't beat Salem! She can't be killed!"
Merlot: "No, but she can be contained, or mitigated, or weakened, shoved into a rocket and then blasted into the sun."
Jaune: "She can be?"
Merlot: "I did the math. I'm good at math."
Ozma: "That's ridiculous, Dust can't go past the atmosphere!"
Merlot: "I'd be using a regular rocket. With fossil fuels and hydrogen powering it."
Ozma: "That's nonsense!"
Merlot: "It's SCIENCE. Honestly, it's not like we're suffering Kessler Syndrome and we have flying battleships. A simple chemical rocket isn't that hard to put together and launch. It's just math."
Ozma: "I INVENTED MATH!"
Merlot: "Well you didn't do a very good job of it now did you?!"
Nora: "Should we do something?"
Ren: "I don't think it will help."
Nora: "Probably not. Popcorn?"
Ren: "Thank you."
Jaune: "How is me having a harem and dozens of babies a solid plan?"
Merlot: "Or you can stick with the body hopping immortal who has failed to stop his ex-wife for thousands of years and even now is consuming that boy's soul!"
Oscar: "Wait, is he really-?"
Ozma: "No! Well yes, unfortunately. Not my fault, blame the gods!"
Ruby: "Oh my God, was it you or Ozma who checked me out?!"
Oscar: "Me! I mean him! Fifty-Fifty?"
Ozma: "I can't help these hormones!"
Ruby: "Jaune, I'm voting for Merlot."
Oscar: "Wait what?!"
Ruby: "Look, my sister is gonna end up some lonely angry biker lesbian with an apartment full of cats. I'm not gonna go that route!"
Yang: "Like hell I am! I'm taking Jaune!"
Ruby: "You don't get him! I called dibs!"
Yang: "Well I called secret dibs so there!"
Blake: "HA! He'll be part of my harem, thank you! Everyone knows I'm the harem lead in this series! He's mine!"
Yang: "Scat, cat! I came to my senses and you're a dumpster fire!"
Blake: "Oh please! I'm basically a princess!"
Weiss: "EXCUSE YOU, BITCH?! I'm the real ojou-sama around here and I'm getting my knight! Suck it, you whore!"
Blake: "I'm willing to wear a collar for Jaune! Just like in my porn!"
Weiss: "LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"
Pyrrha: "I'm totally fine with sharing, Jaune! The more the merrier!"
Jaune: "Were you always this freaky or is this the cloning thing talking?"
Pyrrha: "YES."
Ozma: "This is ridiculous. Merlot can't beat Salem! She can't be killed!"
Merlot: "No, but she can be contained, or mitigated, or weakened, shoved into a rocket and then blasted into the sun."
Jaune: "She can be?"
Merlot: "I did the math. I'm good at math."
Ozma: "That's ridiculous, Dust can't go past the atmosphere!"
Merlot: "I'd be using a regular rocket. With fossil fuels and hydrogen powering it."
Ozma: "That's nonsense!"
Merlot: "It's SCIENCE. Honestly, it's not like we're suffering Kessler Syndrome and we have flying battleships. A simple chemical rocket isn't that hard to put together and launch. It's just math."
Ozma: "I INVENTED MATH!"
Merlot: "Well you didn't do a very good job of it now did you?!"
Nora: "Should we do something?"
Ren: "I don't think it will help."
Nora: "Probably not. Popcorn?"
Ren: "Thank you."