With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Chojin Patriarch · Feb 1, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
6 563 941.M41

"So what's aw this abawt, then?"

Gremlin reaches up with his right hand to scratch his right ear, his eye ridges raised in my direction.

Ah. Not doubt the brainboy has realised something's up, then. Benefit of being a smart little git. No-one pays attention to you you until you come out with a correction for some misapplied assumption or erroneous formula. Then they get all shocked...

Orkoids don't have eyebrows, or any other body hair. Other than a couple of days where I got him a hair squig and he had a lot of fun trying a bright pink rat tail and top knot. And their facial expression comes more from their mouth than their relatively small foreheads. He had to learn that gesture by watching me.

"Gremlin, you know more about the way tau politics works than I do."

A Hair Squig, for reference. Basically a tick with a giant tail of hair-like filaments. Because Orks and Gretchin aren't the only things that grow from their fungoid sacs.

"That ain't what I mean, boss. You bin flyin' around an' doin' stuff for the tau for years. They fawt you was a daemon when they met you."

"So..?"

...I wish I could remember the first P'Aul segment, so I could check the dates. Just so used to the main Paragon SI segments taking place in relatively short chronological order, that others talking about years or decades in a setting feels weird.

"So what changed? Why's they treatin' Faultless Boy different?" He taps his right forenail on the table. "Can't be 'cos he's a daemon."

"I think it's more that they now know enough to be scared."

A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, or simply provide an awareness of danger...

"So why's they invitin' awl a' us who bin spendin' time with him to T'au? That'd be a ded stoopid thing t' do if he was go'na make trouble, innit?"

"I said they knew better. I didn't say they knew everything. Honestly, it's unlikely that it's actually going to reach Aun'va."

I mean, if they wanted him destroyed... It'd be easier out here, where they could just drop a magna-fusion warhead on their work site.

"But takin' a fing off'f the dekkodakka list-."

"The what?"

Ah, Ork slang... Such a simple yet complex language.

"You know. They can't be part a' the Greater Good, so shoot 'em when you see 'em. Dekko, dakka."

I smile. "Well, then it would be the dekko dakka directory, wouldn't it?"

Nice try, but I don't think he's going to be distracted by a little indulgent bit of word play...

He visibly thinks for a moment. "Kritikul enkawnta krumpin kompendium."

I shake my head. "The 'en' sound is too heavy."

...Or not.

He grins. "Konkurrence?"

"Um… Ah…" I grin back. "Maybe?"

And yet, this is largely a joke that only works in English. Not that Ork language isn't that far off, right down to the 'mugs other languages for interestin' vocabulary' thing...

"Think aw'll tell awll a' the orks I meet, 'bawt how the bugboyz rank higher 'an us on that. Should deawl with that whole problem."

"Might be a bit 'high concept' for most warbosses."

...Do you want Tyranids getting their hive-mind clutches on Ork DNA? Bad enough they may have worked out Biovores from them.

"'The blueboyz think the bugboyz 're harder 'an you'. I think they'd get it."

I shrug. He's probably right, though I think they'd probably attack the tau for the insult rather than the tyranids. Orks are more attackers of opportunity than planners.

...Aw, who are you kidding? They'd have a scrap with anyone within reach. You know that.

"But anyways, Undyin' Spirit's the one who decides who goes on an' off, yeh?"

"As I understand it, he makes the final determination. But he's the head of a council of very senior and very well informed people. I doubt that it's going to purely be him." I frown. "Are you worried?"

And given the average length of a Tau lifespan, even if Ethereals are long-lived... Sooner or later, someone new will be sitting in the fancy hover-chair and wearing the big hat before long.

"Bit, yeah. I'm on the list, too."

"You mean the kompendium?"

Ah, right. I suppose he hasn't really been... Certified. Has he?

He doesn't look amused any longer. "No. I don't."

I nod, and insert trivial small talk into the monitoring systems.

Ah, Power Rings are awesome, especially when you need a good, private heart-to-heart with a friend.

"Sorry. Look… I… I'm working for the Tau Empire because I think they're the closest think this era has to a civilisation that I want to be part of. That doesn't mean that I'm not aware that they don't always make the best decisions. If they rule against you, then I'll get you out and drop you off somewhere."

His ears flick as he stares at me contemplatively.

...Though where could he go that an Ork wouldn't just crump him as a 'mouthy snotling'? And forget about Human space...

"Really?"

"Yes. You're my friend. You haven't done anything contrary to the interests to the Greater Good, and you've joined in our work enthusiastically. If they can't see that, they're the ones mistaken."

Or prejudiced. Some Tau do remember significant campaigns against Orks. (And yes, not all of those listed on that link are against Orks. But there are many.)

"Oh. Thanks, boss. Course, that… Does leave the question 'how'?"

"If they were going to kill you, then they'd just order Kais's team to sneak up on you in their stealth suits. So they either do actually want to talk to you themselves, or they're going to make a big show of it."

Showing off examples of 'friendly' Orks and Daemons as a propaganda thing? Seems a bit...

Foolhardy?

"An' if-."

"If they're going to make a show of it, then I guess I'm working for Farsight now. Ah, though I'd… Probably drop you off somewhere else. Otherwise… That tau can be pleasantly surprising in their rationality a lot of the time. Give them a chance."

Then again, the Farsight Enclaves have their own issues, not least of which is their leader's connection to an ancient artifact, possibly of Eldar origin...

"Yeah." He nods. "Alwite. So, same with Faultless Boy?"

"T'au has a much bigger population than Lar'shi. More high level experts. It's not like they've had the opportunity to examine a cooperative daemon before. In his case… He can't exactly die, he'd just get banished. But you know what tau are like with the warp; they'd probably just put him in a research institution somewhere isolated. I'm more worried about what he'll want. Or that they'll-."

And being banished would probably be a death sentence, even at this stage. Faultless is still a young and weak entity, and likely easy prey to anything lurking within the Warp.

"Try feedin' him souls like the Emprah?"

"It's something I want to be very clear about being impossible. We'd need a golden throne for a start, and we don't have one."

And even that was a one-off piece of technology, constructed largely by the Emperor... Sadly, he never got to work out mass-production before Horus' little hissy fit...

"Think I can back you up there, boss. Tau and sorcery don't sound like things that should mix."

"Thank you."

Indeed.

"Here, listen…" Orkoids can't really look awkward, either, but he's giving it a go. "Orks don't have families. Got mates, some of them, but a yoof just gets grabbed by whateva mob's abawt and hit ovah the head 'til he does what he's tole. You… Took a little snotling, an'… Made me. Tort me. Like I'm someone with something to contribute. Valuable, an' a person an' that. An' we fight togevah and.. learn stuff togevah, and… I guess what I'm tryin' ta' say, is…"

He looks directly at me, his face relaxing.

Or the Yoof runs away, and hooks up with other teenage rebel Orks and forms a Stormboy mob... Going about all disciplined and parading about in shiny boots and neat uniforms.

"When is you gunna make an honest woman outa Tsua'm Raard?"

"Um, what? That's not where I-. You've been talking to Bo'ohk about human humour, haven't you?"

Got to admit, it lightened the mood, didn't it? So it worked.

"Bit. I do like that you've put a lotta effort inta me, I just don't have the brain gubbins to think of you as a father or anything like that. No offence."

I nod. "None taken. So what makes you think-?"

Hey, it almost worked for Captain-General 'Kitt-

...Understood.

"Come on, boss. You explainin' the plot of every human story where humans an' aliens pair off, an' the underlying psychological mechanism for why a human would do it, was a ded giveaway. An' how you keep remindin' her how you like tau better than humans. An' how you deliberately don't tell her what you actually want 'cos of her orders."

"You said something to her after I spoke to that genestealer cultist."

"She wasn't gettin' it. I just sed somethin' abawt the eldar they've got locked in there."

Ah, the old 'Going Boldly... And Coming Boldly.' trope at play, eh?

Dark Eldar don't last long in captivity, even in a null zone. We're still not really clear why. Slaanesh shouldn't be able to drain them when they're cut off from the warp, but I suppose that means that they can't sustain their bodies with warp energy either. Tau… Tend to leave Exodite worlds in their space alone these days, and I actually got to be present during a diplomatic meeting with officials from a Craftworld passing through the Empire, which… Went about as well as it could have done.

I bet the Eldar took one look at his Avarice-driven metaphysical structure, shuddered bone-deep and quietly agreed to pretend not to see him, huh?

"I find eldar fairly unattractive, actually. In terms of personality-."

"But now she's thinkin' abawt you an' aliens like somethin' that could actually happen."

And honestly, Eldar are not all that physically attractive to humans either, if you read deeper. Imagine a human, witth oddly stretched out proportions, with oddly-different movements, facial features and so on... They should hit humans deep in the uncanny valley.

"Thank you for your wingmanning efforts. I'll remember it if we ever run into Uthan the Perverse. They're into orks."

He looks sceptical for a moment, then realises that I'm not joking. "Should be interestin'."

"Please tell me if Tsua'm actually says anything to you."

...And that's a Craftworld Eldar.

Imagine how much worse a Drukarhi's interest would be, without all the Asuryani's cultural restraint.

Well, that discussion went into strange and embarrassing places. Though if P'Aul does have a little bit of blueberry fever, I can't fault him. One of those base-level human needs, after all. Still, it is an interesting and concerning point about what would happen to beings like Gremlin or Faultless if the Tau leadership took issue with their little xenology projects.

Mr Zoat · Feb 1, 2023

Ngamer11 said:
That should say 'thing'.

Darko said:
"The tau"

Ngamer11 said:
I think that 'the' should be removed.

Thank you, corrected.

Vaermina · Feb 1, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
Dark Eldar don't last long in captivity, even in a null zone. We're still not really clear why. Slaanesh shouldn't be able to drain them when they're cut off from the warp, but I suppose that means that they can't sustain their bodies with warp energy either.

It's adorable that he thinks you can circumvent Slaanesh's hold with a null field.

Because you can't.

And even if it were possible, you would likely need the null equivalent of an Alpha Plus. Not some cheap knock off Tau machinery.

Mr Zoat said:
Tau… Tend to leave Exodite worlds in their space alone these days, and I actually got to be present during a diplomatic meeting with officials from a Craftworld passing through the Empire, which… Went about as well as it could have done.

By which he means the Tau tried to take an Exodite world and got utterly stomped.

And by "as well as can be expected" he likely means the Eldar told the Tau that anything Tau that found itself in the same system as the Craftworld would be obliterated and then ignored anything else the Tau said.

Because it is functionally impossible for the Tau to actually defeat even the weakest of Craftworlds due to their ships displacer systems making them completely untargetable to Tau ships.

m_d · Feb 1, 2023

Chojin Patriarch said:
...I wish I could remember the first P'Aul segment, so I could check the dates. Just so used to the main Paragon SI segments taking place in relatively short chronological order, that others talking about years or decades in a setting feels weird.

If it helps, I think the first segment is Warlantern 40,000, with the date of
"0 086 936.M41
Or thereabouts
Probably."

There are several references to precise dates being not necessarily a thing. See:
From Warlantern 40,000, second part
"0 086 936.M41
Inasmuch as it matters
I wonder how the tau dating system works?"

And Warlantern 40,000, third part
"0 086 936.M41
And a bit
Seriously, did the Emperor abolish minutes or something?"

The next times given as
Kaising the Joint (part 1) - 6 013 937.M41
Kaising the Joint (part 2) - 6 232 937.M41
Kaising the Joint (part 3) - 6 233 937.M41
Kaising the Joint (part 4) - 6 234 937.M41
Kaising the Joint (part 5) - 6 246 937.M41

And then this bunch goes:
Xenopsychology (part 1) - 6 558 937.M41
Xenopsychology (part 2) - 6 558 937.M41
Xenopsychology (part 3) - 6 558 937.M41
Xenopsychology (part 4) - 6 561 937.M41
Xenopsychology (part 5) - 6 561 937.M41
Xenopsychology (part 6) - 6 561 937.M41
Xenopsychology (part 7) - 6 563 938.M41
Xenopsychology (part 8) - 6 563 941.M41

The Froggy Ninja · Feb 1, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
"Think aw'll tell awll a' the orks I meet, 'bawt how the bugboyz rank higher 'an us on that. Should deawl with that whole problem."

"Might be a bit 'high concept' for most warbosses."

"'The blueboyz think the bugboyz 're harder 'an you'. I think they'd get it."

I shrug. He's probably right, though I think they'd probably attack the tau for the insult rather than the tyranids. Orks are more attackers of opportunity than planners.

Theres also the issue that if they do attack the Nids, you'd be pitting two inexhaustible, escalating forces against each other.

Mr Zoat · Feb 1, 2023

The Froggy Ninja said:
There's also the issue that if they do attack the Nids, you'd be pitting two inexhaustible, escalating forces against each other.

Neither are inexhaustible. Tyranids eating a world will prevent orks reappearing, and individual hive fleets can and have been wiped out.

The Froggy Ninja · Feb 1, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
Neither are inexhaustible. Tyranids eating a world will prevent orks reappearing, and individual hive fleets can and have been wiped out.

Orks produce biomass ex nihilo when given sufficient combat and Nids can replenish their numbers with that biomass. I'm not saying every interaction would lead to runaway escalation, but there is that one sector where Nids and Orks have been fighting for over a decade, getting stronger and more numerous. Probably most fights would end with one defeating the other, but the risk of additional hotspots like that is still significant, regardless of the probability.

Mr Zoat · Feb 1, 2023

The Froggy Ninja said:
Orks produce biomass ex nihilo when given sufficient combat

I'd like a reference for that. Orks get bigger, yes, but I don't remember anything saying that they don't have to eat to gain that mass.

Baladar · Feb 1, 2023

Vaermina said:
Because it is functionally impossible for the Tau to actually defeat even the weakest of Craftworlds due to their ships displacer systems making them completely untargetable to Tau ships.

Unless the writer just says they have something that lets them overcome that, like in every 40k book. Because the entire franchise is rule of cool and making things up as they go. Otherwise, there's no way a single chapter of space marines (1000 guys at most) could actually take on and beat a Tyranid invasion of millions of bioforms.

Paul in Tau space might have helped them figure out how to beat some Eldar defenses. More ridiculous things have happened in 40k.

Mr Zoat said:
I'd like a reference for that. Orks get bigger, yes, but I don't remember anything saying that they don't have to eat to gain that mass.

IIRC Ork lifeforms can breakdown inorganic soil and rocks into chemicals better suited to organic life, while they are growing in the ground. I think in some of the lore, entire worlds were turned from barren rock into ones that could be candidates to become agriworlds.

So with that in mind, some people think a Tyranid/Ork war ona planet would be an unending nightmare. The Orks would create biomass without end and the Tyranids would give the Orks the war they crave without end.

Ardy · Feb 2, 2023

Baladar said:
Unless the writer just says they have something that lets them overcome that, like in every 40k book. Because the entire franchise is rule of cool and making things up as they go. Otherwise, there's no way a single chapter of space marines (1000 guys at most) could actually take on and beat a Tyranid invasion of millions of bioforms.

Paul in Tau space might have helped them figure out how to beat some Eldar defenses. More ridiculous things have happened in 40k.

IIRC Ork lifeforms can breakdown inorganic soil and rocks into chemicals better suited to organic life, while they are growing in the ground. I think in some of the lore, entire worlds were turned from barren rock into ones that could be candidates to become agriworlds.

So with that in mind, some people think a Tyranid/Ork war ona planet would be an unending nightmare. The Orks would create biomass without end and the Tyranids would give the Orks the war they crave without end.

Ah, the new devourer. I miss 50k.

Vaermina · Feb 2, 2023

Baladar said:
Paul in Tau space might have helped them figure out how to beat some Eldar defenses. More ridiculous things have happened in 40k.

Paul shouldn't have the ability to beat Eldar displacer fields.

They are partially warp magic based.

Not even Dark Age of Technology humanity or the Necrons could reliably beat Eldar displacer fields. So that tells you how high the bar is.

Baladar · Feb 2, 2023

Vaermina said:
Paul shouldn't have the ability to beat Eldar displacer fields.

They are partially warp magic based.

Not even Dark Age of Technology humanity or the Necrons could reliably beat Eldar displacer fields. So that tells you how high the bar is.

There have been multiple instances in the books of imperial forces hitting craftworlds with ship weapons and then sending boarding forces. Including one where psytitans were deployed in the great crusade.

Someguy Somewhere · Feb 2, 2023

There's always the old fashioned 'carpet bomb space, you're bound to hit them eventually' option..it's displacement and holofields, their actual defenses on impact aren't anything special.

like most things in 40k, through enough bullets/dice at it, and anything will die eventually.

Doccer · Feb 2, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
working for Farsight now. Ah, though

Why not start out with Farsight? From the little I am aware, Farsight's Conclave is perfect to promote.

ForeverShogo · Feb 2, 2023

I'm rather surprised he seems to think he can achieve victory for the Tau.

I was under the impression the Tau are basically playing in the kiddie pool thinking they're hot shit when the only reason they're still around is because the other factions are busy with bigger, more important conflicts. That if the Imperium seriously went after them they'd be wiped out pretty easily, but events seem to conspire to prevent that from happening.

Like how they were first encountered as primitives and an oh so convenient warp storm cut them off from the rest of the galaxy, and when it dissipated they weren't primitive anymore. Or how there was one moment where the Imperium was actually gearing up to exterminate them but a Tyranid attack just happened to take place at just the right time and place that the Imperial forces earmarked for crushing the Tau had no choice but to go fight the Nids instead. Even interrupted by the Nids, this was seen as a grand campaign by the Tau but a minor skirmish at best by the Imperium. The difference in scale is just that damn big.

Like, everything I know about the Tau suggest that they're really only still around because of authorial fiat. And, well, I guess they're a popular enough faction to not get the Squats treatment.

And jumping ship to the Farsight Enclave would basically be the same problems but worse, because the Enclave is even smaller.

Vaermina · Feb 2, 2023

Baladar said:
There have been multiple instances in the books of imperial forces hitting craftworlds with ship weapons and then sending boarding forces. Including one where psytitans were deployed in the great crusade.

All of which relies on the use of Psykers.

ForeverShogo said:
I'm rather surprised he seems to think he can achieve victory for the Tau.

I was under the impression the Tau are basically playing in the kiddie pool thinking they're hot shit when the only reason they're still around is because the other factions are busy with bigger, more important conflicts. That if the Imperium seriously went after them they'd be wiped out pretty easily, but events seem to conspire to prevent that from happening.

Like how they were first encountered as primitives and an oh so convenient warp storm cut them off from the rest of the galaxy, and when it dissipated they weren't primitive anymore. Or how there was one moment where the Imperium was actually gearing up to exterminate them but a Tyranid attack just happened to take place at just the right time and place that the Imperial forces earmarked for crushing the Tau had no choice but to go fight the Nids instead. Even interrupted by the Nids, this was seen as a grand campaign by the Tau but a minor skirmish at best by the Imperium. The difference in scale is just that damn big.

Like, everything I know about the Tau suggest that they're really only still around because of authorial fiat. And, well, I guess they're a popular enough faction to not get the Squats treatment.

And jumping ship to the Farsight Enclave would basically be the same problems but worse, because the Enclave is even smaller.

You are 100% right.

The Tau are the big joke of the Warhammer 40k franchise. And only survive because everyone else in the setting has more important things to do then bother with a tiny little empire made up of a couple dozen systems.

Truthfully however? This Paul's actions should have changed that calculation and set the Eldar, Imperium, and Chaos to wanting to wipe out the Tau.

Mr Zoat · Feb 2, 2023

6 564 941.M41

"…usually serve as technicians and overseers, rather than as labourers."

I watch through the doorway as Tsua'm takes the Faultless One though a slideshow depicting a tau industrial complex doing the same sort of work as he was doing back on his homeworld. He appears to be engrossed, but his responses aren't exactly human any more so it's a little hard to tell. Certainly, the tau industrial drones and protective equipment are…

I was going to think 'centuries ahead', but that's wrong. It's literally the opposite. Tau factories are a couple of centuries ahead of what my era could do. The Imperium is far ahead of them, but… Doesn't bother.

"This drastically reduces the number of worker-decs required for the same output, reduces the rate of worker injuries and allows for far more mentally stimulating work."

Tsua'm is smiling, and it's a much better smile than the one she used to have before she met me. More subdued, less axe murdering meth-head. Faultless One isn't looking at her, though. His attention is completely absorbed by the hologram of the working factory.

She's not showing him the accommodation, which is Spartan to say the least. And she's not showing him the recreation facilities, which exist but have almost no variety. Not good, just better. Honestly, I think she should show him. What he's seeing is probably incomprehensible to him, whereas a slightly larger dormitory with better hygiene standards is something he could relate to.

"I see only tau."

"There are factories like this on human worlds within the Empire, but human populations often don't have the education required to operate factories like this. It's really only the low-density worlds that have been fully acculturated."

"What do you mean by 'low density'?"

"Hive Worlds can have between five billion people and fifteen billion people per hive city, and the larger Hive Worlds can have many hive cities. A low density world would have a population of less than half a billion, or the equivalent if the habitable area is unusually small. This allows the rapid dissemination of educational materials to the entire population and the assurance of cultural unity."

"What happens to the rest?"

"The rest-?" Tsua'm blinks, her facial cleft twitching. "Oh, no, no! We don't kill the population down to that level! That would be terribly wasteful! Many humans worlds do not have population levels as high as the Hive Worlds, while in other places human populations are relocated from high density worlds."

I spent some time checking that the official version of Tau Empire resettlement policy was accurate, and… She isn't talking about the worlds where they settled Imperial prisoners, or the colony experiment where they took children between the ages of five and eight and raised them tau-style. That was actually a success, and the children involved were volunteered by their families in the hope that they'd have a better future which they do have, so as uncomfortable as it made me...

Of course, that's not really practical for everyone in a Hive City, even ignoring the massive drop in output it would cause. But the tau do improve the factories they oversee, and this is their aspiration for everyone.

"Tsua'm, why don't you show him one of the human worlds?" She gives me an interrogative look. "Even if it's not as nice as that, it'll give him a better idea of how humans live. We can even take him to one once the T'au'aun'ar'tol are finished with us."

"Yes. I want to see with my own eyes."

"Then unless they have new orders for us, that is where we will go. Faultless One, the system here is configured to respond to your voice commands. You can simply tell it what you want to learn, and it will display it for you."

He turns his head slightly to give her a sidelong glance. "What am I not permitted to know?"

"A few things regarding military deployments and the construction processes for certain weapons. And obviously we cannot tell you anything that we do not know. Otherwise, this is the same database that I use when I work."

Though I imagine that the search algorithm has been somewhat slanted.

"Then I will watch and learn."

Tsua'm gives him a shallow bow, but he's not watching her. He's walking closer to the hologram, staring at the drone production line as it turns the metal into standardised ingots. She looks pleased at his attentiveness as she walks towards me, and I step back to allow her to leave the room.

"Seems to be going well."

"He is single-minded. And quite different to the recordings of other daemons that I have watched."

I nod. "Those were mostly battlefield recordings, weren't they?"

"Do you think that has given me an incomplete view of their kind?"

"Yes, but not in a positive way. All the daemons I've ever heard of have been evil, it's just that not all of them are combat-focused."

"Then is the Faultless One something outside of your experience?"

"Yes. Honestly, I think that he might be more similar to the Emperor than any daemon."

She nods. "Because he was created by merging together many human souls, and not from a reflection in the warp or through the aid of a dark god. Does such a thing have precedence?"

"The closest I can think of would be the Screaming Cage, but the Sisters of Battle used to make that empowered one of their number, they didn't merge with her. And she was still alive. And it was deliberately created by a daemon, rather than being created by accident."

"So not much like him at all?"

My eyes flick her way, and I see that she's smiling. I smile back.

"It's the closest I can think of. It's a shame we don't have any real experts to study him."

"We will see what can be arranged. There are species within the Empire with warp knowledge we can draw upon."

"What, the kroot? I don't think a shaman who ate a few psykers is going to be much help. And the demiurg aren't going to let a Living Ancestor anywhere near him."

"Those are not the only possibilities. There are species who are not part of the Empire's public face who have more knowledge than we tau do."

Yeah, and there's a reason why they're not part of the Empire's public face. Some species have such a different way of thinking about the universe, such a different physical make-up, that trying to find a place for them to integrate into the Empire doesn't really work. At best, there's something they can do and the Empire just lets them do that.

I shrug and nod.

"That isn't a gesture that I can easily understand." She looks at me… Tau-puzzled. "The nod is agreement and the shrug is uncertainty or indifference. Together… You are willing to go along with the idea despite not being convinced?"

I nod. "More or less. I mean, the whole point of this is that no one knows what to do and we're just trying to make well-reasoned guesses."

She nods, then there's a ripple in her nasal cleft that I don't recognise. "On that subject, perhaps now is a good time to openly discuss your romantic interest in me."

"Um."

"I am not a drone, P'ol. I am an expert in xenosociology; after your reaction to the concubines I realised that you had specific views on how such things should be done. And I realised that that definitely does not involve compulsion or expectation, and that you would not demand intimacy from me. You could -and should- have spoken to me directly."

"Oh. Okay, yes, I just… Wasn't sure, and I think having a bunch of fanatics around reminded me that some tau can get a bit… Fanatical, about their orders, too. The fact that you're generally not like that is… One of the things that draws me to you."

"And you did not want to risk that trait by putting me in a difficult position." I nod. "Thank you."

She raises her right hand to my forehead, and flicks me. Or… Tries. Tau are pretty bad at quick precise movements and she more or less just pokes me with her knuckle. But I appreciate the effort.

I smile. "So..?"

"So I wish to hear all of your ideas about how such a relationship could work."

"Oh?" I smile. That's a pretty reasonable-.

She prods me with her knuckle again and then continues down the corridor.

"For professional reasons."

Mr Zoat · Feb 2, 2023

ForeverShogo said:
I'm rather surprised he seems to think he can achieve victory for the Tau.

I was under the impression the Tau are basically playing in the kiddie pool thinking they're hot shit when the only reason they're still around is because the other factions are busy with bigger, more important conflicts. That if the Imperium seriously went after them they'd be wiped out pretty easily, but events seem to conspire to prevent that from happening.

Like how they were first encountered as primitives and an oh so convenient warp storm cut them off from the rest of the galaxy, and when it dissipated they weren't primitive anymore. Or how there was one moment where the Imperium was actually gearing up to exterminate them but a Tyranid attack just happened to take place at just the right time and place that the Imperial forces earmarked for crushing the Tau had no choice but to go fight the Nids instead. Even interrupted by the Nids, this was seen as a grand campaign by the Tau but a minor skirmish at best by the Imperium. The difference in scale is just that damn big.

Like, everything I know about the Tau suggest that they're really only still around because of authorial fiat. And, well, I guess they're a popular enough faction to not get the Squats treatment.

And jumping ship to the Farsight Enclave would basically be the same problems but worse, because the Enclave is even smaller.

Basically true.

The thing is, the things distracting the Imperium aren't likely to stop. Ever. Those hive fleets aren't going anywhere.

The Tau are the minor xeno culture who rolled natural 20s whereas many of their contemporaries were exterminated.

Doccer said:
Why not start out with Farsight? From the little I am aware, Farsight's Conclave is perfect to promote.

Mostly, because they're not the ones he ran into first. They're also even smaller than the main Tau Empire.

Vaermina · Feb 2, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
The Imperium is far ahead of them, but… Doesn't bother.

Completely wrong.

The Imperium very much does bother. Just not equally. But then. The Tau have never run into a forge world before.

Mr Zoat said:
Basically true.

The thing is, the things distracting the Imperium aren't likely to stop. Ever. Those hive fleets aren't going anywhere.

The Tau are the minor xeno culture who rolled natural 20s whereas many of their contemporaries were exterminated.

What you fail to being up here is that those distractions are constantly being weighed against the Tau.

And it's actually super borderline for various groups deciding that the Tau are the bigger distraction and wiping them out.

Or in the case of Chaos, decide the Tau are the perfect smorgus board and show up with scrap code generators to corrupt their entire civilization.

RichardWhereat · Feb 2, 2023

But T'au don't even have tits. They do have a vagina nose though, is P'ol interested in facefucking the fish?

WereDragon · Feb 2, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
"So I wish to hear all of your ideas about how such a relationship could work."

"Oh?" I smile. That's a pretty reasonable-.

She prods me with her knuckle again and then continues down the corridor.

"For professional reasons."

I suppose a tsundere scientist is close enough to his usual 'bad girl' type. And in the grimdarkness someone a little more wholesome than an assassin is appropriate.

Mr Zoat said:
Basically true.

The thing is, the things distracting the Imperium aren't likely to stop. Ever. Those hive fleets aren't going anywhere.

The Tau are the minor xeno culture who rolled natural 20s whereas many of their contemporaries were exterminated.

To add to this: What you need to remember about 40k is the sheer scale and distance.
Yes the Imperium could crush the Tau with trivial ease if they could gather all their forces together. Except that even with no distractions or other commitments or internal friction and impeded by nothing but simple logistics it would still take centuries to gather all those forces.
And that applies to pretty much everyone. If every Ork got together they could destroy anywhere in the galaxy, from Terror to Medrengard. If all the hive fleets hit the same place nothing could withstand it. And so on.

The Tau are extremely weak in absolute terms. However because they are concentrated in a very small area their local forces are broadly equal to everyone else's local forces.
And then they got an Orange Lantern to tip the scales.

Vaermina · Feb 2, 2023

RichardWhereat said:
But T'au don't even have tits. They do have a vagina nose though, is P'ol interested in facefucking the fish?

Tau women have tits...

Have you not seen the art? Because it's pretty blatant.

Chojin Patriarch · Feb 2, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
6 564 941.M41

"…usually serve as technicians and overseers, rather than as labourers."

I watch through the doorway as Tsua'm takes the Faultless One though a slideshow depicting a tau industrial complex doing the same sort of work as he was doing back on his homeworld. He appears to be engrossed, but his responses aren't exactly human any more so it's a little hard to tell. Certainly, the tau industrial drones and protective equipment are…

Yes... In a human factory, the 'drones' would be servitors, or simply an endless parade of barely-skilled workers trained to do the one thing their station requires and nothing else... And honestly, that is the sort of thing that contributed to the Faultless One's birth in the first place...

I was going to think 'centuries ahead', but that's wrong. It's literally the opposite. Tau factories are a couple of centuries ahead of what my era could do. The Imperium is far ahead of them, but… Doesn't bother.

"This drastically reduces the number of worker-decs required for the same output, reduces the rate of worker injuries and allows for far more mentally stimulating work."

Though mechanical methods inevitably end up breaking down, requiring repairs that lower the rate of production... The Imperium doesn't bother with advanced options because it's cheaper and easier to set a new worker in place once the previous collapses of exhaustion.

Tsua'm is smiling, and it's a much better smile than the one she used to have before she met me. More subdued, less axe murdering meth-head. Faultless One isn't looking at her, though. He attention is completely absorbed by the hologram of the working factory.

She's not showing him the accommodation, which is Spartan to say the least. And she's not showing him the recreation facilities, which exist but have almost no variety. Not good, just better. Honestly, I think she should show him. What he's seeing is probably incomprehensible to him, whereas a slightly larger dormitory with better hygiene standards is something he could relate to.

So, some improvements, but not where it counts. I'm sure P'Aul could continue to work with her on that...

"I see only tau."

"There are factories like this on human worlds within the Empire, but human populations often don't have the education required to operate factories like this. It's really only the low-density worlds that have been fully acculturated."

There's the rub with their system. It requires smarter, better-trained workers. And it would be counter-productive to train ten thousand people to do the job of one...

"What do you mean by 'low density'?"

"Hive Worlds can have between five billion people and fifteen billion people per hive city, and the larger Hive Worlds can have many hive cities. A low density world would have a population of less than half a billion, or the equivalent if the habitable area is unusually small. This allows the rapid dissemination of educational materials to the entire population and the assurance of cultural unity."

And this is how the Imperium can have trillions of citizens... Which leads to their logic of 'oh, some worker died on the line? Just shove another into their place.'

"What happens to the rest?"

"The rest-?" Tsua'm blinks, her facial cleft twitching. "Oh, no, no! We don't kill the population down to that level! That would be terribly wasteful! Many humans worlds do not have population levels as high as the Hive Worlds, while in other places human populations are relocated from high density worlds."

I bet that's a bit of culture shock for those relocated. I wonder if agoraphobia is common. When all your life, you've been able to look up and see the underside of the next level of the city above you... The open sky must be terrifying.

I spent some time checking that the official version of Tau Empire resettlement policy was accurate, and… She isn't talking about the worlds where they settled Imperial prisoners, or the colony experiment where they took children between the ages of five and eight and raised them tau-style. That was actually a success, and the children involved were volunteered by their families in the hope that they'd have a better future which they do have, so as uncomfortable as it made me...

Such is the life of the low-born in the Imperium. Where sending a child off to be experimented on is a better fate than them joinging you in the factories and likely dying young of accident or disease, or seeing them joining a gang and getting killed by some stimmed-out lunatic in a back alley.

Of course, that's not really practical for everyone in a Hive City, even ignoring the massive drop in output it would cause. But the tau do improve the factories they oversee, and this is their aspiration for everyone.

"Tsua'm, why don't you show him one of the human worlds?" She gives me an interrogative look. "Even if it's not as nice as that, it'll give him a better idea of how humans live. We can even take him to one once the T'au'aun'ar'tol are finished with us."

Optimistic of you. Still, Faultless may well not even comprehend what eh sees, to some degree, if it's too different to their experience.

"Yes. I want to see with my own eyes."

"Then unless they have new orders for us, that is where we will go. Faultless One, the system here is configured to respond to your voice commands. You can simply tell it what you want to learn, and it will display it for you."

Within limits, of course, I expect. Probably no articles too... Potentially distressing for them. And no doubt skewed to present the Tau in a good light.

He turns his head slightly to give her a sidelong glance. "What am I not permitted to know?"

"A few things regarding military deployments and the construction processes for certain weapons. And obviously we cannot tell you anything that we do not know. Otherwise, this is the same database that I use when I work."

And it's telling that they asked that. It shows they aren't completely naive.

Though I imagine that the search algorithm has been somewhat slanted.

"Then I will watch and learn."

I bet you will...

Tsua'm gives him a shallow bow, but he's not watching her. He's walking closer to the hologram, staring at the drone production line as it turns the metal into standardised ingots. She looks pleased at his attentiveness as she walks towards me, and I step back to allow her to leave the room.

"Seems to be going well."

Though I bet she did feel a little on edge in there. Not knowing if something she said would set Faultless off...

"He is single-minded. And quite different to the recordings of other daemons that I have watched."

I nod. "Those were mostly battlefield recordings, weren't they?"

Yeah, Daemons in battle are not particularly nice. Though I bet the footage of Slaaneshi demons is heavily censored.

"Do you think that has given me an incomplete view of their kind?"

"Yes, but not in a positive way. All the daemons I've ever heard of have been evil, it's just that not all of them are combat-focused."

To be fair, the only daemons we usually see are those used in battle. It is a wargame universe, after all. I can't imagine there aren't lesser daemons who exists solely to perform the lowliest duties. Cleaning skulls for the Skull Throne of Khorne, for example, or gathering up samples of Nurgle's latest clever plague. But they'd be utter rubbish in-game...

"Then is the Faultless One something outside of your experience?"

"Yes. Honestly, I think that he might be more similar to the Emperor than any daemon."

Admittedly, in the same way a party popper compares to Tsar Bomba...

She nods. "Because he was created by merging together many human souls, and not from a reflection in the warp or through the aid of a dark god. Does such a thing have precedence?"

"The closest I can think of would be the Screaming Cage, but the Sisters of Battle used to make that empowered one of their number, they didn't merge with her. And she was still alive. And it was deliberately created by a daemon, rather than being created by accident."

Ah, Ephreal Stern's origin? Yes, quite a world of difference there...

"So not much like him at all?"

My eyes flick her way, and I see that she's smiling. I smile back.

Well, she does have a point. In this case, it's really a case of defining Faultless by what they are not, than what they're similar to.

"It's the closest I can think of. It's a shame we don't have any real experts to study him."

"We will see what can be arranged. There are species within the Empire with warp knowledge we can draw upon."

Though with extreme caution, eh?

"What, the kroot? I don't think a shaman who ate a few psykers is going to be much help. And the demiurg aren't going to let a Living Ancestor anywhere near him."

"Those are not the only possibilities. There are species who are not part of the Empire's public face who have more knowledge than we tau do."

True. Those seen on the tabletop (albeit rarely these days) are merely the most suited to combat... There are many more races barely mentioned in the background. And even that list favours the combat-oriented...

Yeah, and there's a reason why they're not part of the Empire's public face. Some species have such a different way of thinking about the universe, such a different physical make-up, that trying to find a place for them to integrate into the Empire doesn't really work. At best, there's something they can do and the Empire just lets them do that.

I shrug and nod.

Such is the nature of their society. If a race can serve the Greater Good by staying far away and just sending stuff, then let them do so...

"That isn't a gesture that I can easily understand." She looks at me… Tau-puzzled. "The nod is agreement and the shrug is uncertainty or indifference. Together… You are willing to go along with the idea despite not being convinced?"

I nod. "More or less. I mean, the whole point of this is that no one knows what to do and we're just trying to make well-reasoned guesses."

She's learning. Well done for working that one out.

She nods, then there's a ripple in her nasal cleft that I don't recognise. "On that subject, perhaps now is a good time to openly discuss your romantic interest in me."

"Um."

Heh. I half expected him to make a lame excuse and transition away...

"I am not a drone, P'ol. I am a expert in xenosociology; after your reaction to the concubines I realised that you had specific views on how such things should be done. And I realised that that definitely does not involve compulsion or expectation, and that you would not demand intimacy from me. You could -and should- have spoken to me directly."

"Oh. Okay, yes, I just… Wasn't sure, and I think having a bunch of fanatics around reminded me that some tau can get a bit… Fanatical, about their orders, too. The fact that you're generally not like that is… One of the things that draws me to you."

On the physical side, a Power Ring works wonders for matters of physical compatibility...

"And you did not want to risk that trait by putting me in a difficult position." I nod. "Thank you."

She raises her right hand to my forehead, and flicks me. Or… Tries. Tau are pretty bad at quick precise movements and she more or less just pokes me with her knuckle. But I appreciate the effort.

There's a reason their combat gear features lots of mechanical and sensory assistance. And why they prefer ranged combat to melee. It comes from supposedly having evolved from a prey species. Or at least something a little more ungulate than us ground-apes.

I smile. "So..?"

"So I wish to hear all of your ideas about how such a relationship could work."

Just... No jokes about 'forehead vaginas' or anything of the like.

That would be in bad taste.

"Oh?" I smile. That's a pretty reasonable-.

She prods me with her knuckle again and then continues down the corridor.

"For professional reasons."

Oooh, sassy. This lady isn't impressed by your glowy tricks, P'Aul. Better be ready to put some work in.

So, Relationship sub-plot unlocked.

I suppose that's one good thing to come out of this whole mess. A pity we might not see them for a while, depending on Mr Zoat's muse. Though it looks like she's a little more interested in this side-plot, looking at the chapter index. Still, sooner or later, we're going to have to get back to the Paragon or Renegade...

012345 · Feb 2, 2023

Is WH40k Paul going to take part in Crisis of Infinite Pauls in his own personal future? To get idea how to make OL Rings and maybe share some techs?

TodaBruh · Feb 2, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
"For professional reasons."

Way to raise a guy's hopes up only to let them down.

Darko · Feb 2, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
He attention is completely absorbed by the hologram of the working factory.

"His attention"

Mr Zoat said:
P'ol. I am a expert in xenosociology

"am an expert"

Mr Zoat · Feb 2, 2023

Darko said:
"His attention"
"am an expert"

Thank you, corrected.

Pez · Feb 2, 2023

Vaermina said:
Tau women have tits...

Have you not seen the art? Because it's pretty blatant.

I know almost nothing about the lore, but when I looked it up on the wiki, it said there were only two official illustrations of a tau female, one looks more 'human female' and the other looked more like the tau males. I could be completely wrong about that, but I'm pretty certain that's what I read.

The only biological reason (that I can think) for them to have breasts would be if they nurse their young, and I've no clue if they do.

Flightless Man · Feb 2, 2023

Mr Zoat said:
I'd like a reference for that. Orks get bigger, yes, but I don't remember anything saying that they don't have to eat to gain that mass.

"rather than a complete reliance on the consumption of nutrients in the form of food, Orks have a primitive and basic ability to photosynthesise. This would give them a tremendous advantage over other races as they can reduce their supply lines to ammunition and fuel and all the other parts of war, but without the need to transport perishable goods. The blood of an Ork is also interesting, in that it contains countless distinct fungal organisms and has a chlorophyll high content, with trace elements of carbon and copper."

Orkoid physiology - Warhammer 40k - Lexicanum

Might not be true. But it's popular enough that the misconception could have spread pretty far.

Mr Zoat · Feb 2, 2023

Pez said:
I know almost nothing about the lore, but when I looked it up on the wiki, it said there were only two official illustrations of a tau female, one looks more 'human female' and the other looked more like the tau males. I could be completely wrong about that, but I'm pretty certain that's what I read.

The only biological reason (that I can think) for them to have breasts would be if they nurse their young, and I've no clue if they do.

I'm going with this.

Flightless Man said:
"rather than a complete reliance on the consumption of nutrients in the form of food, Orks have a primitive and basic ability to photosynthesise. This would give them a tremendous advantage over other races as they can reduce their supply lines to ammunition and fuel and all the other parts of war, but without the need to transport perishable goods. The blood of an Ork is also interesting, in that it contains countless distinct fungal organisms and has a chlorophyll high content, with trace elements of carbon and copper."

Orkoid physiology - Warhammer 40k - Lexicanum

Might not be true. But it's popular enough that the misconception could have spread pretty far.

That would let them produce sugar using matter already in their body. It wouldn't let them increase their mass.

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