Uncomplicated Good Works (part 9)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
12th December 2012
06:55 GMT -5
Kal-El nods. "Sounds like things went well, then."
"I achieved my political objective. But that wasn't the point. Would you have done that?"
"I…" And I'm rather pleased to see him think his answer through better than he used to. "I wouldn't have handled it quite like that, no. But I can't say that I've ever had to deal with something quite like that before." He looks mildly constipated for a moment. "Do they really eat people?"
"You did read the report I wrote-"
"Good Lord, yes."
He smiles as he says it, but it's more than a little strained.
"-where I said they were number three on my hit list? Also, I'm glad that you're reading my reports and appreciate the effort you've made to improve yourself."
"I'm not sure that came out quite right, but I'll take it."
"Normally I'd.. just ignore that jab, but… I do actually mean it. I don't want you to think that I'm going to hold a grudge forever or anything. If you hadn't started reading reports then, yes, we wouldn't be having this conversation, but you're too good a person to reject sound advice."
"Alright." He nods. "Thank you. What happened next?"
"Xalitan isn't enlightened, but he's reached a level of skill where we're calling his training a success. Dox wants him to go to the front lines so that we can better assess exactly how much better he's gotten, then he'll form part of our training cadre. We've already circulated documentation to the rest of the Corps on what we did, so hopefully the ones with the most initiative will use that to improve their own training."
"Ah, good, but I meant 'what happened next to Chugragah'."
"With a heady combination of fear and gratitude, the Strand Elders acquiesced. I brought the Queen over the next day, they had a fairly civilised chat about how to switch from an import economy to an export economy, and they were kind enough to hand over all of the contact information for their merchant contacts."
"The slave traders."
"Yes."
"I realise they have it coming-."
"No." I shake my head. "No. I left that to the Green Lantern Corps. They're not major military powers and can be handled by police. Besides, I'm trying to be less violent at the moment."
"Blue Lantern mentioned something about that. That… Seems like a big departure for you."
"It is."
"Were the Justice Society International really that bad?"
"No. But for me, there's no distinction between wanting an end and wanting the means. Like… I imagine that if you really had to kill someone, you'd do it, but you'd probably feel bad about it afterwards."
"I'm… Not sure what you mean by 'had to'. I suppose there are some things… Some fights where I couldn't risk holding back. And if that happened, then… Yes. I would feel bad about it."
"That's not what I meant. But okay. The point is, I wouldn't. Usually, that requires all sorts of mental hoop-jumping or actual psychosis. For me, it doesn't. So if I think an end is worth going for, I don't worry about the means. Morally, I mean. Obviously I worry whether they're really the best way to achieve that end."
"That's a little worrying. Are you still talking to Guy and Dinah?"
"Not in the therapeutic sense."
"Do you think maybe you should?"
"No. As a result of my exposure to the orange light, my thought processes are too different from human baselines for a normal psychiatrist to apply their knowledge to. My point is that the JSI showed me that something I thought was desirable might not be. They were a well-organised world-spanning superhero organisation, ruthless when it was useful to be and friendly when it wasn't. They were exactly what I was advocating for."
"And it didn't look so good when you saw what it was actually like."
"Exactly. It probably achieves more good in the long term… Or even the medium term." I shake my head. "But I still don't want it, so I'm having a bit of a rethink."
"That sounds like a good step to take. You certainly gave me a few things to think about. It's nice to know that you're not so set in your ways that you can't take a step back."
"Right, so I've got a request. You're probably the.. second most Golden Agey superhero I know. It's not an approach that comes naturally to me, and I'd appreciate the opportunity to study how it works for you."
"You…" He raises his eyebrows. "Want to be my sidekick?"
"Yes."
"Oh. I… Wasn't expecting… 'Second most'?"
"Captain Marvel is the most, but I'm concerned that I'd have an undue influence on him."
"What about Diana? Or Alan?"
"Both killed people during World War Two. Also, they both like me more than you do."
"You're a… A lot to take in."
"Says Superman."
"I work pretty long hours."
"I make my own hours. I can spend my entire day in Metropolis without any difficulty, just hanging around until 'a job for Superman' turns up."
"You realise that you being here is going to mean that there won't be as many of those as usual?"
"Prevention is better than cure. Look, if you don't want me to hang around, that's fine. I get it. I've got far too big a body count to act surprised. But I'm.. strongly considering changing my modus operandi by addressing the behaviours that concern you, and will happily follow your directions."
He takes a slow breath.
"And you'll do what I say."
"I've dealt civilly with unrepentant Nazis, the biggest arsehole in my Corps and serial killing cannibals. I can follow instructions from you. As long as it's not something stupid like 'get a civilian identity'."
"No, I think the boat already sailed on that one. Alright. I've got things to do-"
Go to work, which isn't something that he's going to mention in the open. Even if Lex Luthor almost certainly knows, plenty of other intelligent criminals in Metropolis don't.
"-right now, but I'll check in with you in a few hours. Okay?"
"Certainly. Thank you for this opportunity. I'm sure that I can find something productive to do while you're away."
He exhales slowly then nods, before turning and flying away.
06:55 GMT -5
Kal-El nods. "Sounds like things went well, then."
"I achieved my political objective. But that wasn't the point. Would you have done that?"
"I…" And I'm rather pleased to see him think his answer through better than he used to. "I wouldn't have handled it quite like that, no. But I can't say that I've ever had to deal with something quite like that before." He looks mildly constipated for a moment. "Do they really eat people?"
"You did read the report I wrote-"
"Good Lord, yes."
He smiles as he says it, but it's more than a little strained.
"-where I said they were number three on my hit list? Also, I'm glad that you're reading my reports and appreciate the effort you've made to improve yourself."
"I'm not sure that came out quite right, but I'll take it."
"Normally I'd.. just ignore that jab, but… I do actually mean it. I don't want you to think that I'm going to hold a grudge forever or anything. If you hadn't started reading reports then, yes, we wouldn't be having this conversation, but you're too good a person to reject sound advice."
"Alright." He nods. "Thank you. What happened next?"
"Xalitan isn't enlightened, but he's reached a level of skill where we're calling his training a success. Dox wants him to go to the front lines so that we can better assess exactly how much better he's gotten, then he'll form part of our training cadre. We've already circulated documentation to the rest of the Corps on what we did, so hopefully the ones with the most initiative will use that to improve their own training."
"Ah, good, but I meant 'what happened next to Chugragah'."
"With a heady combination of fear and gratitude, the Strand Elders acquiesced. I brought the Queen over the next day, they had a fairly civilised chat about how to switch from an import economy to an export economy, and they were kind enough to hand over all of the contact information for their merchant contacts."
"The slave traders."
"Yes."
"I realise they have it coming-."
"No." I shake my head. "No. I left that to the Green Lantern Corps. They're not major military powers and can be handled by police. Besides, I'm trying to be less violent at the moment."
"Blue Lantern mentioned something about that. That… Seems like a big departure for you."
"It is."
"Were the Justice Society International really that bad?"
"No. But for me, there's no distinction between wanting an end and wanting the means. Like… I imagine that if you really had to kill someone, you'd do it, but you'd probably feel bad about it afterwards."
"I'm… Not sure what you mean by 'had to'. I suppose there are some things… Some fights where I couldn't risk holding back. And if that happened, then… Yes. I would feel bad about it."
"That's not what I meant. But okay. The point is, I wouldn't. Usually, that requires all sorts of mental hoop-jumping or actual psychosis. For me, it doesn't. So if I think an end is worth going for, I don't worry about the means. Morally, I mean. Obviously I worry whether they're really the best way to achieve that end."
"That's a little worrying. Are you still talking to Guy and Dinah?"
"Not in the therapeutic sense."
"Do you think maybe you should?"
"No. As a result of my exposure to the orange light, my thought processes are too different from human baselines for a normal psychiatrist to apply their knowledge to. My point is that the JSI showed me that something I thought was desirable might not be. They were a well-organised world-spanning superhero organisation, ruthless when it was useful to be and friendly when it wasn't. They were exactly what I was advocating for."
"And it didn't look so good when you saw what it was actually like."
"Exactly. It probably achieves more good in the long term… Or even the medium term." I shake my head. "But I still don't want it, so I'm having a bit of a rethink."
"That sounds like a good step to take. You certainly gave me a few things to think about. It's nice to know that you're not so set in your ways that you can't take a step back."
"Right, so I've got a request. You're probably the.. second most Golden Agey superhero I know. It's not an approach that comes naturally to me, and I'd appreciate the opportunity to study how it works for you."
"You…" He raises his eyebrows. "Want to be my sidekick?"
"Yes."
"Oh. I… Wasn't expecting… 'Second most'?"
"Captain Marvel is the most, but I'm concerned that I'd have an undue influence on him."
"What about Diana? Or Alan?"
"Both killed people during World War Two. Also, they both like me more than you do."
"You're a… A lot to take in."
"Says Superman."
"I work pretty long hours."
"I make my own hours. I can spend my entire day in Metropolis without any difficulty, just hanging around until 'a job for Superman' turns up."
"You realise that you being here is going to mean that there won't be as many of those as usual?"
"Prevention is better than cure. Look, if you don't want me to hang around, that's fine. I get it. I've got far too big a body count to act surprised. But I'm.. strongly considering changing my modus operandi by addressing the behaviours that concern you, and will happily follow your directions."
He takes a slow breath.
"And you'll do what I say."
"I've dealt civilly with unrepentant Nazis, the biggest arsehole in my Corps and serial killing cannibals. I can follow instructions from you. As long as it's not something stupid like 'get a civilian identity'."
"No, I think the boat already sailed on that one. Alright. I've got things to do-"
Go to work, which isn't something that he's going to mention in the open. Even if Lex Luthor almost certainly knows, plenty of other intelligent criminals in Metropolis don't.
"-right now, but I'll check in with you in a few hours. Okay?"
"Certainly. Thank you for this opportunity. I'm sure that I can find something productive to do while you're away."
He exhales slowly then nods, before turning and flying away.
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