Justice Segue (part 15)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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17th November 2017
09:21 GMT -5
"…leave you now, as I see a deputation from the local government approaching. Remember, I'm an alien invader taking over your planet by force and yet I'm still better than the people running it now. Thank you for your call."
I hang up and shut down the cameras, then create an escalator for the group gathering on the plaza in front of the city hall building. Then I cup my right hand to the side of my face.
"I believe that a red flag was traditional for negotiation!"
There's a little looking around for a moment. Interesting. I don't see the mayor or the governor…
Then a long-serving state senator raises both hands to his mouth. "We don't got one!"
"I'm currently given you a 'D' for effort!" He stares up uncertainly-. "Get up here!"
He marches towards the construct escalator and-. Alright, he's walking up it even though it's moving, my respect for him has increased a little. A few of his braver subordinates -because if he's taking the lead like this then they are, regardless of technicalities- follow. They don't walk up the escalator, so I resolve to ignore them.
The Senator reaches the top and walks towards me, just about avoiding looking like a man walking to his own funeral. Still, there's something-? Ex-military? He's checking sight-lines, potential escape routes, things like that. Pointless given me, but after a certain level of experience it's all automatic.
"I'm Senator Rafael Sandoval."
"And I'm Grayven. Chief-of-Clan-Chiefs, Emperor, Prince Consort…" I shrug. "I'm not big on titles. How'd you get the short straw?"
"They figured you were less likely to kill me."
"Napier considers it gauche to kill people who are dying anyway. I kill people who deserve it. And despite-" I call up my-.
Ping.
-Mother Box's records on the man. "-a few minor campaign finance irregularities, I can see nothing that would warrant that."
He frowns. "Is this about the tobacco money?"
I nod. "Mostly."
"Look, it gives you throat cancer, lung cancer, angina and all kinds of other things. But I don't think there's anyone in this country who doesn't know that by now and if they wanna keep smoking anyway, that's their decision and it's not my place to tell 'em otherwise. Same with drinking or eating meat or any of that other government overreach bullshit."
"I'm not arguing with you on that, I'm just saying that you were a little less than forthright about that viewpoint in some of your campaign meetings and speeches, when people who would probably have changed their views on you if they'd known were there. Still puts you in the top one percent for moral probity. Well done, relatively speaking. What did you want to talk about?"
"Why are you in Dallas?"
"Picked it at random."
"You mind if we evacuate?"
"Not at all. I would never deliberately target innocent civilians, but-."
"Neither did Superman. Didn't help Metropolis."
I nod. "It didn't. That's why I don't mind, so long as it's orderly. By my estimates it will take another five hours for the American Federal Government to get anything here that they'd feel confident throwing at us."
"Air force could get here faster."
"Air force is filled with basically decent men and women who aren't quite as ready to obey their political masters as they were yesterday. Did you.. know about the island?"
"Heard rumours. Thought it was just a conspiracy theory. But that doesn't mean that everyone else is just gunna accept you taking over."
"As opposed to the-."
"The people who do now are on their way out. One way or another. The Second Amendment is for internal enemies, too."
I grin. "Oh, I like the sound of a citizen who knows their business. What would it take to make you accept me taking over?"
"Your broadcasts said you were gunna put people on trial." I nod. "We can handle our own business here in Texas. We'll thank you for your sources, but that's it."
"Acceptable, except Austin."
"Why Austin?"
"Because fuck Austin." A very thin smile appears under his moustache. "Also, it would take too long. The whole restructuring thing needs to start sooner than it would take to finish trials according to normal American processes, even Texan ones. I'm happy to hand the whole thing back after I'm done, assuming you maintain appropriate levels of probity."
"What are you doing that we can't?"
"Using telepaths for gaining evidence and handing down automatic two year sentences for Corruption in Public Office. Also, no Federal review of any kind."
"And what if we did all that?"
I frown. Ring? Oh. That is interesting.
"National Guard got their marching orders, I see. That's jolly refreshing. Alright, I'm game. Give it your best shot."
He relaxes a little. "Taxes."
"I rule seventeen planets. I will raise no taxes. Your money is only useful to me in that it will allow me to more easily reshape your society. In fact, given the businesses I'll be setting up and the technologies I'll be leasing for use by human companies, I fully expect to be a major tax contributor just about everywhere. I require no tax holidays or deferments or… Whatever, that isn't available to other people operating in the same location and industry. The only change I will make to your tax system is that you will start showing sales taxes on the shelves, because that's obnoxious and should have been fixed decades ago."
He doesn't appear to disagree. "You got a development plan?"
I look at the gaggle behind him who have made their way up onto the roof. "Which of your peons is the economist?"
He turns his head towards them and points one young man out. I wave my ring and a binder appears at his feet. "I have done this before. It's online, too, though I included Texas in the 'southern United States region'."
"Military. You said that you need our help to fight some other alien warlord. We don't have any starships, so I'm not sure what you want us to do."
"You do actually have starships. There's one in this state, and a few others in other places. And you should be able to use weapons I build in other places, farm food that can be shipped to my military units engaged in combat, and a handful of people with supernatural abilities can meaningfully involve themselves. But, I do see where you've been going with this, and I have no desire to repeat the British Empire's mistakes that led to the American colonies declaring independence. If you offer aid freely and of your own volition, I won't use force to compel you."
"Okay, but I've got no reason to believe that he's worse than you. He's never come to Earth before."
"No, he sent a small force here about… Five thousand years ago. Left two pieces of his personal organiser, as well as a few odds and ends. Hippolyta…" I wave my right hand in her direction. "Can tell you a slightly slanted version of the event."
He shrugs. "That was five thousand years ago. No one alive today saw it."
"Do you..? Want to?" He frowns. "I can just open a portal to our homeworld. You could have a quick look around, get a feel for the place and what Darkseid plans for the rest of the universe, then come back and report on it."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
"Yes, but no one will attack you. He likes people to know what's coming. I'm more worried about what seeing it will do to your mind, which is why I'm going to put a rope around you so I can pull you out after a minute. That should be… Safe-ish."
He thinks for a moment.
"Yeah. Okay. Show me."
09:21 GMT -5
"…leave you now, as I see a deputation from the local government approaching. Remember, I'm an alien invader taking over your planet by force and yet I'm still better than the people running it now. Thank you for your call."
I hang up and shut down the cameras, then create an escalator for the group gathering on the plaza in front of the city hall building. Then I cup my right hand to the side of my face.
"I believe that a red flag was traditional for negotiation!"
There's a little looking around for a moment. Interesting. I don't see the mayor or the governor…
Then a long-serving state senator raises both hands to his mouth. "We don't got one!"
"I'm currently given you a 'D' for effort!" He stares up uncertainly-. "Get up here!"
He marches towards the construct escalator and-. Alright, he's walking up it even though it's moving, my respect for him has increased a little. A few of his braver subordinates -because if he's taking the lead like this then they are, regardless of technicalities- follow. They don't walk up the escalator, so I resolve to ignore them.
The Senator reaches the top and walks towards me, just about avoiding looking like a man walking to his own funeral. Still, there's something-? Ex-military? He's checking sight-lines, potential escape routes, things like that. Pointless given me, but after a certain level of experience it's all automatic.
"I'm Senator Rafael Sandoval."
"And I'm Grayven. Chief-of-Clan-Chiefs, Emperor, Prince Consort…" I shrug. "I'm not big on titles. How'd you get the short straw?"
"They figured you were less likely to kill me."
"Napier considers it gauche to kill people who are dying anyway. I kill people who deserve it. And despite-" I call up my-.
Ping.
-Mother Box's records on the man. "-a few minor campaign finance irregularities, I can see nothing that would warrant that."
He frowns. "Is this about the tobacco money?"
I nod. "Mostly."
"Look, it gives you throat cancer, lung cancer, angina and all kinds of other things. But I don't think there's anyone in this country who doesn't know that by now and if they wanna keep smoking anyway, that's their decision and it's not my place to tell 'em otherwise. Same with drinking or eating meat or any of that other government overreach bullshit."
"I'm not arguing with you on that, I'm just saying that you were a little less than forthright about that viewpoint in some of your campaign meetings and speeches, when people who would probably have changed their views on you if they'd known were there. Still puts you in the top one percent for moral probity. Well done, relatively speaking. What did you want to talk about?"
"Why are you in Dallas?"
"Picked it at random."
"You mind if we evacuate?"
"Not at all. I would never deliberately target innocent civilians, but-."
"Neither did Superman. Didn't help Metropolis."
I nod. "It didn't. That's why I don't mind, so long as it's orderly. By my estimates it will take another five hours for the American Federal Government to get anything here that they'd feel confident throwing at us."
"Air force could get here faster."
"Air force is filled with basically decent men and women who aren't quite as ready to obey their political masters as they were yesterday. Did you.. know about the island?"
"Heard rumours. Thought it was just a conspiracy theory. But that doesn't mean that everyone else is just gunna accept you taking over."
"As opposed to the-."
"The people who do now are on their way out. One way or another. The Second Amendment is for internal enemies, too."
I grin. "Oh, I like the sound of a citizen who knows their business. What would it take to make you accept me taking over?"
"Your broadcasts said you were gunna put people on trial." I nod. "We can handle our own business here in Texas. We'll thank you for your sources, but that's it."
"Acceptable, except Austin."
"Why Austin?"
"Because fuck Austin." A very thin smile appears under his moustache. "Also, it would take too long. The whole restructuring thing needs to start sooner than it would take to finish trials according to normal American processes, even Texan ones. I'm happy to hand the whole thing back after I'm done, assuming you maintain appropriate levels of probity."
"What are you doing that we can't?"
"Using telepaths for gaining evidence and handing down automatic two year sentences for Corruption in Public Office. Also, no Federal review of any kind."
"And what if we did all that?"
I frown. Ring? Oh. That is interesting.
"National Guard got their marching orders, I see. That's jolly refreshing. Alright, I'm game. Give it your best shot."
He relaxes a little. "Taxes."
"I rule seventeen planets. I will raise no taxes. Your money is only useful to me in that it will allow me to more easily reshape your society. In fact, given the businesses I'll be setting up and the technologies I'll be leasing for use by human companies, I fully expect to be a major tax contributor just about everywhere. I require no tax holidays or deferments or… Whatever, that isn't available to other people operating in the same location and industry. The only change I will make to your tax system is that you will start showing sales taxes on the shelves, because that's obnoxious and should have been fixed decades ago."
He doesn't appear to disagree. "You got a development plan?"
I look at the gaggle behind him who have made their way up onto the roof. "Which of your peons is the economist?"
He turns his head towards them and points one young man out. I wave my ring and a binder appears at his feet. "I have done this before. It's online, too, though I included Texas in the 'southern United States region'."
"Military. You said that you need our help to fight some other alien warlord. We don't have any starships, so I'm not sure what you want us to do."
"You do actually have starships. There's one in this state, and a few others in other places. And you should be able to use weapons I build in other places, farm food that can be shipped to my military units engaged in combat, and a handful of people with supernatural abilities can meaningfully involve themselves. But, I do see where you've been going with this, and I have no desire to repeat the British Empire's mistakes that led to the American colonies declaring independence. If you offer aid freely and of your own volition, I won't use force to compel you."
"Okay, but I've got no reason to believe that he's worse than you. He's never come to Earth before."
"No, he sent a small force here about… Five thousand years ago. Left two pieces of his personal organiser, as well as a few odds and ends. Hippolyta…" I wave my right hand in her direction. "Can tell you a slightly slanted version of the event."
He shrugs. "That was five thousand years ago. No one alive today saw it."
"Do you..? Want to?" He frowns. "I can just open a portal to our homeworld. You could have a quick look around, get a feel for the place and what Darkseid plans for the rest of the universe, then come back and report on it."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
"Yes, but no one will attack you. He likes people to know what's coming. I'm more worried about what seeing it will do to your mind, which is why I'm going to put a rope around you so I can pull you out after a minute. That should be… Safe-ish."
He thinks for a moment.
"Yeah. Okay. Show me."
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