Mighty Morphin' Lantern Rangers (part 2)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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- Dec 1, 2016
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I don't think I'm
in Kansas anymore
Pink slows, putting an arrow on her bow from.. somewhere, and loosing it at me. I flicker aside and the arrow misses, striking a car behind me and-.
BOOM!
A wave of force passes over me as the car explodes, pieces of metal and plastic raining down around me. A few hit my construct armour but they're hardly a threat. Another arrow and I dodge again, this one gouging a chunk out of the road.
I'm being attacked by Power Rangers. Now, as far as I remember that wasn't a program with a great deal of moral nuance. Zordon picked his teenagers with attitude, gave them their power coins and zords and had them fight Rita Repulsa, the least efficient alien invader ever. Each week, a new clay monster brought to life. Each week, a new chunk of… Angel Grove, flattened under the giant monster versus zord battle. No wider comment on why the world wasn't having a total freak out or why the military didn't nuke Angel Grove. Or why Rita didn't invade literally anywhere else with her teleporters. And.. okay, that was because all the actual fight footage came from a Japanese series with… Well, I never watched it but it probably had a completely different story.
But Rita wasn't attacking with any sort of political goal in mind beyond 'conquest = good'. There was no difference of opinion that could be resolved by dialogue. No discussion about the morals of killing or the use of child soldiers. Not much of one about the state of the rest of the universe where people could and did just openly declare for Team Evil. I mean-
The Red Ranger leaps at me and I sidestep around his attack, his sword cutting a slice through the tarmac as he recovers and move into a guard position.
-how was Rita's base-.
Blue Ranger. Billy, I remember him. He keeps back a little, spear held in both hands as he repeatedly stabs and retreats, trying to hold my atten-
I fly upwards five metres, causing… Zack? The Black Ranger, to miss his axe swing. I happen to know that his axe can be transformed into a large energy gun which would be far more of a threat to me.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I fear there's been-"
Another arrow, and this time I use a construct shield to block it. Failing to embed, it skitters off to my left before falling to the ground and blasting apart a stretch of pavement.
"-a misunderstanding."
I hold up my hands in what I hope they understand is a gesture indicating that I don't want to fight.
"I don't work for Rita and I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop attacking me." I smile, dismissing my construct armour in favour of a slightly thickened environmental shield. "Please?"
The Rangers take a moment to redress their line, staring up at me. Red Ranger points up at me with his left hand, sword still in his right.
"If you're not with Rita, why were you hanging out with Baboo and Squatt?!"
"That was simply where I appeared on this Earth. I didn't recognise the two of them and since they were just talking to me I didn't have any reason to attack them."
"Wait." Billy-. William? Jerks in surprise. Are they being unusually physically expressive because they can't see one another's faces? "You're Orange Lantern!"
Black Ranger turns his head towards Blue. "You know this guy?"
I nod, lowering myself to two metres up. Let them see my decidedly non-monster face a little easier. "An Orange Lantern, yes. Does this parallel have a version of my Corps, or are you stuck with Larfleeze?" No immediate response. "Someone else?"
"No, he's a.. comic book character." He glances at his team and then returns his attention to me. "Like… Superman or Batman."
"Yes, that happens between parallel universes sometimes." Though this is the first time I've been on the receiving end of it. I wonder if my adventures on Earth 16 made it into Earth Prime comics? "Look, I'd really appreciate it if you could point me in the direction of anyone with the sort of exotic detection equipment-"
Yellow Ranger… No, her name's gone too. She walks over to where I was talking to 'Baboo' and 'Squatt' and picks something up.
"-I could use to detect what technique they used to bring me here so I can go back-."
"Ah, guys?" Yellow Ranger walks back to her fellows with a.. comic in her hands. "I think-"
She turns the book around, showing white spaces where parts of the illustration used to be. It's next to Kaldur…
In a room, surrounded by exotic equipment…
"-he's literally a comic book character."
I land, walk over and take a closer look. The illustrations are simplified compared to how they really looked, but… Yes, that's Mount Justice.
Okay.
Okay.
There probably are magic rituals which used fictional focuses to summon best-matches from parallel universes. That wouldn't work on Earth Prime, because the shaped magic field doesn't extend much beyond the planet, but there's no reason why parallel universes wouldn't work differently.
The alternative-.
"Um. Are you okay?"
The alternative is that those moronic Saturday morning television villains just used.. something to bring to life a comic character, and that's me. And that spell would have needed to recreate their -my- entire memory from a comic which would only hold a tiny portion of their story. That… Sounds ridiculous, but… Parallel universe magic system. I can't.. be sure that it couldn't work.
"Oh dear."
Breathe in. Breath out.
"No.. I.. don't believe that I am." I notice with some relief that they've mostly lowered their weapons. "The… The blue one. He had a bottle, he said that something wasn't his fault. If there was a potion in that bottle, that might be what caused… Me."
I send orange filaments across the street to where I appeared and… Yes, the fragments of the bottle. I reassemble it, careful not to remove the tiny amount of chemical residue.
"Do you know anyone who could analyse this?"
William nods. "I could."
"You can analyse magic potions?"
"No, but I can analyse the chemical composition."
"Whether it brought me here from a parallel universe or created me from a comic, I doubt that this is a matter of conventional chemistry. And frankly, my ring outperforms a-"
Ring, year?
Nineteen ninety five.
"-nineteen ninety five mass spectrometry system."
"Ah. Yes, you're probably right. How about Zordon?"
Red Ranger's head jerks his way and I'm pretty sure that he's glaring at him under that helmet.
"And who might Zordon be?"
in Kansas anymore
Pink slows, putting an arrow on her bow from.. somewhere, and loosing it at me. I flicker aside and the arrow misses, striking a car behind me and-.
BOOM!
A wave of force passes over me as the car explodes, pieces of metal and plastic raining down around me. A few hit my construct armour but they're hardly a threat. Another arrow and I dodge again, this one gouging a chunk out of the road.
I'm being attacked by Power Rangers. Now, as far as I remember that wasn't a program with a great deal of moral nuance. Zordon picked his teenagers with attitude, gave them their power coins and zords and had them fight Rita Repulsa, the least efficient alien invader ever. Each week, a new clay monster brought to life. Each week, a new chunk of… Angel Grove, flattened under the giant monster versus zord battle. No wider comment on why the world wasn't having a total freak out or why the military didn't nuke Angel Grove. Or why Rita didn't invade literally anywhere else with her teleporters. And.. okay, that was because all the actual fight footage came from a Japanese series with… Well, I never watched it but it probably had a completely different story.
But Rita wasn't attacking with any sort of political goal in mind beyond 'conquest = good'. There was no difference of opinion that could be resolved by dialogue. No discussion about the morals of killing or the use of child soldiers. Not much of one about the state of the rest of the universe where people could and did just openly declare for Team Evil. I mean-
The Red Ranger leaps at me and I sidestep around his attack, his sword cutting a slice through the tarmac as he recovers and move into a guard position.
-how was Rita's base-.
Blue Ranger. Billy, I remember him. He keeps back a little, spear held in both hands as he repeatedly stabs and retreats, trying to hold my atten-
I fly upwards five metres, causing… Zack? The Black Ranger, to miss his axe swing. I happen to know that his axe can be transformed into a large energy gun which would be far more of a threat to me.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I fear there's been-"
Another arrow, and this time I use a construct shield to block it. Failing to embed, it skitters off to my left before falling to the ground and blasting apart a stretch of pavement.
"-a misunderstanding."
I hold up my hands in what I hope they understand is a gesture indicating that I don't want to fight.
"I don't work for Rita and I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop attacking me." I smile, dismissing my construct armour in favour of a slightly thickened environmental shield. "Please?"
The Rangers take a moment to redress their line, staring up at me. Red Ranger points up at me with his left hand, sword still in his right.
"If you're not with Rita, why were you hanging out with Baboo and Squatt?!"
"That was simply where I appeared on this Earth. I didn't recognise the two of them and since they were just talking to me I didn't have any reason to attack them."
"Wait." Billy-. William? Jerks in surprise. Are they being unusually physically expressive because they can't see one another's faces? "You're Orange Lantern!"
Black Ranger turns his head towards Blue. "You know this guy?"
I nod, lowering myself to two metres up. Let them see my decidedly non-monster face a little easier. "An Orange Lantern, yes. Does this parallel have a version of my Corps, or are you stuck with Larfleeze?" No immediate response. "Someone else?"
"No, he's a.. comic book character." He glances at his team and then returns his attention to me. "Like… Superman or Batman."
"Yes, that happens between parallel universes sometimes." Though this is the first time I've been on the receiving end of it. I wonder if my adventures on Earth 16 made it into Earth Prime comics? "Look, I'd really appreciate it if you could point me in the direction of anyone with the sort of exotic detection equipment-"
Yellow Ranger… No, her name's gone too. She walks over to where I was talking to 'Baboo' and 'Squatt' and picks something up.
"-I could use to detect what technique they used to bring me here so I can go back-."
"Ah, guys?" Yellow Ranger walks back to her fellows with a.. comic in her hands. "I think-"
She turns the book around, showing white spaces where parts of the illustration used to be. It's next to Kaldur…
In a room, surrounded by exotic equipment…
"-he's literally a comic book character."
I land, walk over and take a closer look. The illustrations are simplified compared to how they really looked, but… Yes, that's Mount Justice.
Okay.
Okay.
There probably are magic rituals which used fictional focuses to summon best-matches from parallel universes. That wouldn't work on Earth Prime, because the shaped magic field doesn't extend much beyond the planet, but there's no reason why parallel universes wouldn't work differently.
The alternative-.
"Um. Are you okay?"
The alternative is that those moronic Saturday morning television villains just used.. something to bring to life a comic character, and that's me. And that spell would have needed to recreate their -my- entire memory from a comic which would only hold a tiny portion of their story. That… Sounds ridiculous, but… Parallel universe magic system. I can't.. be sure that it couldn't work.
"Oh dear."
Breathe in. Breath out.
"No.. I.. don't believe that I am." I notice with some relief that they've mostly lowered their weapons. "The… The blue one. He had a bottle, he said that something wasn't his fault. If there was a potion in that bottle, that might be what caused… Me."
I send orange filaments across the street to where I appeared and… Yes, the fragments of the bottle. I reassemble it, careful not to remove the tiny amount of chemical residue.
"Do you know anyone who could analyse this?"
William nods. "I could."
"You can analyse magic potions?"
"No, but I can analyse the chemical composition."
"Whether it brought me here from a parallel universe or created me from a comic, I doubt that this is a matter of conventional chemistry. And frankly, my ring outperforms a-"
Ring, year?
Nineteen ninety five.
"-nineteen ninety five mass spectrometry system."
"Ah. Yes, you're probably right. How about Zordon?"
Red Ranger's head jerks his way and I'm pretty sure that he's glaring at him under that helmet.
"And who might Zordon be?"
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