Uxoricide, part 13
Mr Zoat
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Uxoricide, part 13
11th September 2004
02:14 GMT
"…why I ate my dentist." Lantern Zox grins for a moment, then looks mildly disappointed by my lack of a response. "Hey, that was a big deal for me."
"Yes… Sorry. I'm.. just a little distracted."
Obviously, anything that makes someone angry enough to call a red ring must have been pretty traumatic, but I can't.. quite work out why that set Zox off like that. Skallox, sure. He was accused of a crime he didn't commit by someone he'd served loyally and then was thrown in an incinerator on his order, and because red rings are shit at healing he's going to look like he's got a burning skull for a head for the rest of his life. But… Substandard dental work?
"So…" Zox turns in the direction of Tamarus for a moment, then turns back to me. "She say no..?"
"Huh?"
"See, I did hear that crack about me being the last person you'd ask for romantic advice, but I actually come from a civilised region of space. Humanoids like you are everywhere, and even if you all look like shrunken heads on sticks to me, I do get that all the little shrunken head people come from somewhere." He grins in what I'm sure is supposed to be a reassuring way. And it.. sort of is, actually. "Tell Uncle Zilius all about it."
"She's about half my age."
"Uh-huh. So she's more fertile than you."
… "Pos-sibly?"
"That's a disadvantage in contract negotiations. But given how often you two have been mating, I don't think it bothers her. Does it bother her family? Are they worried that you're incapable of siring children?"
"Her.. family is just her sister." Who appears genuinely happy that Komand'r and I are together, even if some of her friends are less sanguine about it. "Ah, and her k'norfka, who seems nice enough."
"Ah, so he'll be handling negotiations on her side. Who have you got?"
"What do you mean?"
He blinks at me as if I've said something stupid. "The breeding contract. Obviously you don't fight each other; you're more the type to team up against other people. For money. And I approve: that's a sound way to both build up mutual trust and to create the financial security you need in order to support your offspring."
"Ah…"
"But if her family are getting professional negotiators involved, you can still find yourself at a disadvantage. If you haven't taken out a contract yet, you should get on that right away. I know some people. They really work more in criminal law rather than family law, but their firms handle it and they can probably do an internal referral."
I hold up my hands. "Zox, we're not talking about breeding yet."
"So you're taking out an option? I respect forward planning, but if you're concerned about getting too old to impregnate her, delaying it any further-."
"No. No no. Zox…" I really need to get a database on alien cultures at some point. "I'm slightly past my physical prime, but I could wait another twenty years without it being a critical issue. She's young enough that my culture considers her-. Considered her a child until recently."
He peers at me, realising that he's missing something but unable to work out what it is. "So… She's old enough to handle negotiations herself? That could actually work out best, but you should still stick to a standard contract format, otherwise-."
"No, it-. I violated a cultural taboo. Like the guy who did your bridge."
"Oh." He grimaces. "Well, you suck."
"I know! And she thought that her age meant that I considered her beneath me, and I convinced her that I don't, and that I love her, and she.. fled."
"Huh." … "No, I'm still on the bridge thing. What'd you do that for?"
"It's not always externally obvious exactly how old someone is!"
"So you just didn't bother x-raying her! Just like that skin-gnawing dentist!"
"I made.. an unwise assumption based on appearance and behaviour. And my main concern is not the violation of the taboo itself, but on the implication for our relationship."
He peers at me for a moment. "You didn't literally do my bridge, so I'm not that bothered-."
"No, not you and me. Me and Komand'r. Like… You… Think a female has good genes and you want to sire children on her, and she's up for it but you don't bother making a contract first, and even though you acted with the best of intentions things get messy?"
"Oh. Oooooh. I get it now." He thinks for a moment. "You should go talk to her. Poor planning or miscommunications in the initial stages can be counteracted, as long as everyone is prepared to work at it."
I gaze towards distant Tamarus. "Yes, the initial shock should be over by now. Thank you for… Helping."
He smiles warmly, red acid saliva dripping between his teeth and eating through the brick beneath him. "What are friends for?"
But if I have ruined my relationship with Komand'r, I'm going to be angry with myself for a good long time.
Space bends as I hurtle towards the royal palace, the universe snapping back to normal once I reach the settlement. Rather than the relatively conventional city I originally expected, Tamarus here is a largely-underground city running through a fat column of dense rock. I think it used to be some sort of defence silo, but as the attacks got worse Tamaran's people retreated to more defensible locations. I suppose they could expand again now…
I fly up and land in front of the main entrance. Komand'r stopped for a quick 'check me out' when we first arrived, but I haven't actually spoken to anyone myself-.
A really.. quite huge Tamaranian I recognise as Mr Galfore stomps out to glower at me.
"Is.. Komand'r in? We had a bit-" He glowers harder, folding his arms across his chest. "-of a miscommunication, and I very much want to talk to her about it."
He growls.
O-kay then. "Or you can get in my way. And since she loves you, I won't kill you. But I will injure you just enough that you won't be able-."
Faster than I can react, he bear hugs me. "I am so happy that my little ember has met someone as bile-filled as she is!"
"My bones, Mister Galfore! I need my bones!"
"Ah hah hah hah hah!"
He drops me, and I… Ugh. Good.. bluff-call. And my ring can't heal. I stretch my compressed joints a little as I follow him back into the palace. The few other Tamaranians I see give me a decidedly respectful look, but I'm not really in the mood to appreciate it. Mr Galfore leads me along a few corridors and comes to a halt in front of a door with 'Everyone Keep Out Especially Koriand'r' painted on it.
He sniffs as he rereads it, then steps forward and knocks on the door. "Little ember-?"
"I don't wanna talk to-!"
"It's him."
The door is wrenched open and Komand'r-. She stares at me, eyes wide and-. Has she been cry-?
She grabs my right arm and pulls, wrenching me off my feet and tossing me inside before slamming the door on her guardian's face.
I push myself up as she stares at me some more.
"Komand'r-."
"You love me?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Are you sure it's not just sex?"
"Remember when we fought those dominators, and you couldn't work out why I let you fight that big guy by yours-?"
"You said you didn't want to intrude."
"I couldn't. The beautiful savagery you displayed when you went all-out left me transfixed. Your wonderfully carnal fury left me speechless."
"Oh."
"I don't expect you to feel the same way-."
"But I.. think I.. do?" She looks away. "Remember when we killed those vampires in Russia, and then sat outside their cabin as the sun came up? And I put my head on your lap and you stroked my hair and I fell asleep?"
"Yes, of course I do."
"I don't do that! I don't.. relax around people like-." She looks at me, a little lost. "I like you. I like fighting with you, killing with you, fucking you... And that was fine but I could give it up at any time and now just being around you makes me happy and relaxed and I don't know what's going on!"
I take a step towards her and she's on me, kissing me hard and wrapping her arms around me to trap my arms by my side. And then she pulls back. "I don't…"
"Do you trust me?"
"… No?" … "Yes."
"Do you believe that I love you?"
"Yes."
"Then what's the problem? We can keep doing all the things we've been doing."
"I don't like feeling like this. It feels… Vulnerable."
"You're changing the habits of a lifetime. It's normal for that to feel uncomfortable. But you'll beat your discomfort like you beat everything else. And I'll be there to help."
She stares into my eyes, and the vulnerability starts to fade.
"Okay. I'll.. try it." She pauses briefly. "Have you.. still got the head?"
I smile warmly at her, raising it with my right hand. "Of course I've still got the head."
11th September 2004
02:14 GMT
"…why I ate my dentist." Lantern Zox grins for a moment, then looks mildly disappointed by my lack of a response. "Hey, that was a big deal for me."
"Yes… Sorry. I'm.. just a little distracted."
Obviously, anything that makes someone angry enough to call a red ring must have been pretty traumatic, but I can't.. quite work out why that set Zox off like that. Skallox, sure. He was accused of a crime he didn't commit by someone he'd served loyally and then was thrown in an incinerator on his order, and because red rings are shit at healing he's going to look like he's got a burning skull for a head for the rest of his life. But… Substandard dental work?
"So…" Zox turns in the direction of Tamarus for a moment, then turns back to me. "She say no..?"
"Huh?"
"See, I did hear that crack about me being the last person you'd ask for romantic advice, but I actually come from a civilised region of space. Humanoids like you are everywhere, and even if you all look like shrunken heads on sticks to me, I do get that all the little shrunken head people come from somewhere." He grins in what I'm sure is supposed to be a reassuring way. And it.. sort of is, actually. "Tell Uncle Zilius all about it."
"She's about half my age."
"Uh-huh. So she's more fertile than you."
… "Pos-sibly?"
"That's a disadvantage in contract negotiations. But given how often you two have been mating, I don't think it bothers her. Does it bother her family? Are they worried that you're incapable of siring children?"
"Her.. family is just her sister." Who appears genuinely happy that Komand'r and I are together, even if some of her friends are less sanguine about it. "Ah, and her k'norfka, who seems nice enough."
"Ah, so he'll be handling negotiations on her side. Who have you got?"
"What do you mean?"
He blinks at me as if I've said something stupid. "The breeding contract. Obviously you don't fight each other; you're more the type to team up against other people. For money. And I approve: that's a sound way to both build up mutual trust and to create the financial security you need in order to support your offspring."
"Ah…"
"But if her family are getting professional negotiators involved, you can still find yourself at a disadvantage. If you haven't taken out a contract yet, you should get on that right away. I know some people. They really work more in criminal law rather than family law, but their firms handle it and they can probably do an internal referral."
I hold up my hands. "Zox, we're not talking about breeding yet."
"So you're taking out an option? I respect forward planning, but if you're concerned about getting too old to impregnate her, delaying it any further-."
"No. No no. Zox…" I really need to get a database on alien cultures at some point. "I'm slightly past my physical prime, but I could wait another twenty years without it being a critical issue. She's young enough that my culture considers her-. Considered her a child until recently."
He peers at me, realising that he's missing something but unable to work out what it is. "So… She's old enough to handle negotiations herself? That could actually work out best, but you should still stick to a standard contract format, otherwise-."
"No, it-. I violated a cultural taboo. Like the guy who did your bridge."
"Oh." He grimaces. "Well, you suck."
"I know! And she thought that her age meant that I considered her beneath me, and I convinced her that I don't, and that I love her, and she.. fled."
"Huh." … "No, I'm still on the bridge thing. What'd you do that for?"
"It's not always externally obvious exactly how old someone is!"
"So you just didn't bother x-raying her! Just like that skin-gnawing dentist!"
"I made.. an unwise assumption based on appearance and behaviour. And my main concern is not the violation of the taboo itself, but on the implication for our relationship."
He peers at me for a moment. "You didn't literally do my bridge, so I'm not that bothered-."
"No, not you and me. Me and Komand'r. Like… You… Think a female has good genes and you want to sire children on her, and she's up for it but you don't bother making a contract first, and even though you acted with the best of intentions things get messy?"
"Oh. Oooooh. I get it now." He thinks for a moment. "You should go talk to her. Poor planning or miscommunications in the initial stages can be counteracted, as long as everyone is prepared to work at it."
I gaze towards distant Tamarus. "Yes, the initial shock should be over by now. Thank you for… Helping."
He smiles warmly, red acid saliva dripping between his teeth and eating through the brick beneath him. "What are friends for?"
But if I have ruined my relationship with Komand'r, I'm going to be angry with myself for a good long time.
Space bends as I hurtle towards the royal palace, the universe snapping back to normal once I reach the settlement. Rather than the relatively conventional city I originally expected, Tamarus here is a largely-underground city running through a fat column of dense rock. I think it used to be some sort of defence silo, but as the attacks got worse Tamaran's people retreated to more defensible locations. I suppose they could expand again now…
I fly up and land in front of the main entrance. Komand'r stopped for a quick 'check me out' when we first arrived, but I haven't actually spoken to anyone myself-.
A really.. quite huge Tamaranian I recognise as Mr Galfore stomps out to glower at me.
"Is.. Komand'r in? We had a bit-" He glowers harder, folding his arms across his chest. "-of a miscommunication, and I very much want to talk to her about it."
He growls.
O-kay then. "Or you can get in my way. And since she loves you, I won't kill you. But I will injure you just enough that you won't be able-."
Faster than I can react, he bear hugs me. "I am so happy that my little ember has met someone as bile-filled as she is!"
"My bones, Mister Galfore! I need my bones!"
"Ah hah hah hah hah!"
He drops me, and I… Ugh. Good.. bluff-call. And my ring can't heal. I stretch my compressed joints a little as I follow him back into the palace. The few other Tamaranians I see give me a decidedly respectful look, but I'm not really in the mood to appreciate it. Mr Galfore leads me along a few corridors and comes to a halt in front of a door with 'Everyone Keep Out Especially Koriand'r' painted on it.
He sniffs as he rereads it, then steps forward and knocks on the door. "Little ember-?"
"I don't wanna talk to-!"
"It's him."
The door is wrenched open and Komand'r-. She stares at me, eyes wide and-. Has she been cry-?
She grabs my right arm and pulls, wrenching me off my feet and tossing me inside before slamming the door on her guardian's face.
I push myself up as she stares at me some more.
"Komand'r-."
"You love me?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Are you sure it's not just sex?"
"Remember when we fought those dominators, and you couldn't work out why I let you fight that big guy by yours-?"
"You said you didn't want to intrude."
"I couldn't. The beautiful savagery you displayed when you went all-out left me transfixed. Your wonderfully carnal fury left me speechless."
"Oh."
"I don't expect you to feel the same way-."
"But I.. think I.. do?" She looks away. "Remember when we killed those vampires in Russia, and then sat outside their cabin as the sun came up? And I put my head on your lap and you stroked my hair and I fell asleep?"
"Yes, of course I do."
"I don't do that! I don't.. relax around people like-." She looks at me, a little lost. "I like you. I like fighting with you, killing with you, fucking you... And that was fine but I could give it up at any time and now just being around you makes me happy and relaxed and I don't know what's going on!"
I take a step towards her and she's on me, kissing me hard and wrapping her arms around me to trap my arms by my side. And then she pulls back. "I don't…"
"Do you trust me?"
"… No?" … "Yes."
"Do you believe that I love you?"
"Yes."
"Then what's the problem? We can keep doing all the things we've been doing."
"I don't like feeling like this. It feels… Vulnerable."
"You're changing the habits of a lifetime. It's normal for that to feel uncomfortable. But you'll beat your discomfort like you beat everything else. And I'll be there to help."
She stares into my eyes, and the vulnerability starts to fade.
"Okay. I'll.. try it." She pauses briefly. "Have you.. still got the head?"
I smile warmly at her, raising it with my right hand. "Of course I've still got the head."
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