Medidiction (part 11)
Mr Zoat
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27th August 2012
01:23 GMT
Lantern Toren stares at his ring, which stubbornly remains active.
"I don't think this is going to work for me."
"Not now, no. It requires a very particular mindset, and this wasn't how I wanted to teach you all anyway."
Xor -who actually paid attention to what I was saying and only briefly participated in this diversion to show willing- nods.
"Would we have to survive bonding with the Ophidian?"
"I don't know, but I don't think so. Lantern Xor, have you ever lost control under the influence of the orange light?"
He thinks for a moment.
"No."
"Well, there you go. It's a very specific mental state to be in. Just staring-. Lantern Dul, stop, please."
Onik has managed to keep his environmental shield down to a minimal level, which I'm pleased to see as it means that he, A, gets the idea and, B, has engaged in sufficient reflection that he has a rough idea how it might be done. Dul on the other hand is at the centre of an orange bonfire and I'm starting to get a little concerned.
"Why won't it turn off!"
"Because you're being excessively direct. Rather than just wanting at it, consider… Pride. Focus on how much you want the intrapsychic reward that you would receive by achieving this objective, on how much you want to impress your political overseers with your skill."
She takes a deep breath and her environmental shield shrinks a little.
"That worked for you?"
"It worked for us."
There's a peculiar echo as we taste the desires of those around us. This place worships the Green Men. It makes them taste strange. We don't like it.
Onik smiles weakly. "Could you demonstrate it for us?"
I shrug and sit down cross-legged on the library floor.
"I originally did this on my homeworld's moon. My homeworld's moon doesn't have a breathable atmosphere. This-"
I raise my left hand, fingers pointed downwards.
"-is a far more benign environment."
The ring drops from my finger to the floor.
"If any of you were empathic you'd feel a curious lassitude in my thoughts. My desires are there, but they're partially disconnected. But it's not-"
My ring jumps back up onto my finger.
"-a particularly pleasant way to exist. Especially if you're used to having an orange ring."
Lantern Toren nods, clearly intently interested. "An admirable self-mastery."
"I'd say it's not about mastery, but about learning to direct the flow." I shrug and shake my head. "But we've been distracted from the point. Lantern Dul, please-."
"That is all?"
Xor looks bemused.
"That is all."
Xor raises up his left hand, frowning as he looks at his ring.
"That would make me a better Lantern?"
"That is part of how I became such a powerful Lantern. 'Better' is far more subjective."
"I… Think…"
His environmental shield blinks out for a moment, then he starts and it reappears.
"Oh."
Lantern Onik stares at him. "How did..?"
"In the Warhounds, we have it beaten into us that personal desires are wrong. That selfishness of any sort is a betrayal of our comrades and our people." He exhales through his nose. "That any desires of our own were a betrayal. I wanted to be a better Warhound. I wanted it-." Another exhalation. "I wanted it so much."
His eyes narrow.
"I no longer want it."
"I'm impressed. Good work, Lantern Xor."
He breathes in and then out. Then he turns away and walks towards the exit.
I nod as he goes. That sounded like a fairly big deal for him, and since he's ahead there's no problem with him taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts.
"Did that give anyone else any ideas, or can we go back to what I was trying to teach you?"
Lantern Dul glances at Xor as he lets the library door close behind him, then stares at me.
"That's it?"
"Lantern Xor's been doing a lot of thinking. I was teaching him my philosophy while he was under arrest on Earth. And he's had a life that lends itself to this."
"No struggle?"
"The struggle is internal; the Lantern is forced to feel or think things they would rather not. You heard what Lantern Xor said about your loyalty; he didn't like it because he used to feel that way about the Alignment. And now -with all the zeal of the convert- he doesn't."
Her face goes slightly blank and she's not quite meeting my eyes.
"Can you think of a time in your life when you genuinely wanted to not want something that you wanted?"
"That-."
She bites down her initial response.
"I will not share that."
"Okay. But you're going to need to revisit it in the privacy of your own head if you want to overcome this. You're going to need to accept your feelings and decide how you want to feel."
"I… Will do so."
"Glad to hear it. Now then Lantern Toren… Let's talk about fear."
01:23 GMT
Lantern Toren stares at his ring, which stubbornly remains active.
"I don't think this is going to work for me."
"Not now, no. It requires a very particular mindset, and this wasn't how I wanted to teach you all anyway."
Xor -who actually paid attention to what I was saying and only briefly participated in this diversion to show willing- nods.
"Would we have to survive bonding with the Ophidian?"
"I don't know, but I don't think so. Lantern Xor, have you ever lost control under the influence of the orange light?"
He thinks for a moment.
"No."
"Well, there you go. It's a very specific mental state to be in. Just staring-. Lantern Dul, stop, please."
Onik has managed to keep his environmental shield down to a minimal level, which I'm pleased to see as it means that he, A, gets the idea and, B, has engaged in sufficient reflection that he has a rough idea how it might be done. Dul on the other hand is at the centre of an orange bonfire and I'm starting to get a little concerned.
"Why won't it turn off!"
"Because you're being excessively direct. Rather than just wanting at it, consider… Pride. Focus on how much you want the intrapsychic reward that you would receive by achieving this objective, on how much you want to impress your political overseers with your skill."
She takes a deep breath and her environmental shield shrinks a little.
"That worked for you?"
"It worked for us."
There's a peculiar echo as we taste the desires of those around us. This place worships the Green Men. It makes them taste strange. We don't like it.
Onik smiles weakly. "Could you demonstrate it for us?"
I shrug and sit down cross-legged on the library floor.
"I originally did this on my homeworld's moon. My homeworld's moon doesn't have a breathable atmosphere. This-"
I raise my left hand, fingers pointed downwards.
"-is a far more benign environment."
The ring drops from my finger to the floor.
"If any of you were empathic you'd feel a curious lassitude in my thoughts. My desires are there, but they're partially disconnected. But it's not-"
My ring jumps back up onto my finger.
"-a particularly pleasant way to exist. Especially if you're used to having an orange ring."
Lantern Toren nods, clearly intently interested. "An admirable self-mastery."
"I'd say it's not about mastery, but about learning to direct the flow." I shrug and shake my head. "But we've been distracted from the point. Lantern Dul, please-."
"That is all?"
Xor looks bemused.
"That is all."
Xor raises up his left hand, frowning as he looks at his ring.
"That would make me a better Lantern?"
"That is part of how I became such a powerful Lantern. 'Better' is far more subjective."
"I… Think…"
His environmental shield blinks out for a moment, then he starts and it reappears.
"Oh."
Lantern Onik stares at him. "How did..?"
"In the Warhounds, we have it beaten into us that personal desires are wrong. That selfishness of any sort is a betrayal of our comrades and our people." He exhales through his nose. "That any desires of our own were a betrayal. I wanted to be a better Warhound. I wanted it-." Another exhalation. "I wanted it so much."
His eyes narrow.
"I no longer want it."
"I'm impressed. Good work, Lantern Xor."
He breathes in and then out. Then he turns away and walks towards the exit.
I nod as he goes. That sounded like a fairly big deal for him, and since he's ahead there's no problem with him taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts.
"Did that give anyone else any ideas, or can we go back to what I was trying to teach you?"
Lantern Dul glances at Xor as he lets the library door close behind him, then stares at me.
"That's it?"
"Lantern Xor's been doing a lot of thinking. I was teaching him my philosophy while he was under arrest on Earth. And he's had a life that lends itself to this."
"No struggle?"
"The struggle is internal; the Lantern is forced to feel or think things they would rather not. You heard what Lantern Xor said about your loyalty; he didn't like it because he used to feel that way about the Alignment. And now -with all the zeal of the convert- he doesn't."
Her face goes slightly blank and she's not quite meeting my eyes.
"Can you think of a time in your life when you genuinely wanted to not want something that you wanted?"
"That-."
She bites down her initial response.
"I will not share that."
"Okay. But you're going to need to revisit it in the privacy of your own head if you want to overcome this. You're going to need to accept your feelings and decide how you want to feel."
"I… Will do so."
"Glad to hear it. Now then Lantern Toren… Let's talk about fear."
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