Gateway (part 10)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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21st August 2015
22:44 Japan Time
"You were..? You were there? Ho-how were you there?"
Captain Thompson's sake-addled brain seems to be having difficulty with the idea that Lieutenant Itami was in Ginza when the gate opened. Honestly, I'm a little surprised myself. A thin orange film covers them both to translate drunk-English into drunk-Japanese, and vice versa.
Diabo nods.
"Did you hear something before it opened?"
"No. Nnnnn. No. It's a shopping district, yano? I was… Just shopping. Wasn't even armed. Just… Just started tryna get everyone away from them. Until backup came."
"We didn't know that cities this big could exist." Diabo isn't actually drunk -he values his ability to spot assassins too highly to allow himself to get that intoxicated- but he is tipsy. "In our… In Sadera, it's so much smaller, and there are so many more soldiers that we could respond more quickly."
"We could respond quickly." Captain Thompson drops his right hand to his side, deciding that reaching for a refill isn't a good idea. "Had helicopters ready to go. An' the guys in the embassy, the marines, there were only a couple a' blocks away. All they got to-to-to do was shoot a couple a' those pig-guys."
Diabo frowns. "Marines?"
"Yeah?"
"On land."
"Yeah?"
"So… Wouldn't they be soldiers?"
"Don't fuckin' tell them that."
That doesn't seem to make any sense to him, but he appears to let it slide, slumping back against the settee.
"Anyway…" Captain Thompson frowns as he tries to remember his place. "Anyway. I know… Y'know… Japan-American… Diplomatic stuff ain't so hot right now, but what was up with that? I mean, we've been friends for decades. My sister-in-law's Japanese, an' her family... Okay, they don't live anywhere near Ginza, but they might have. It's like… There's plenty of people I don't like much, but if they were on fire right in front of me I'd still put them out."
Lieutenant Itami nods, eyes not entirely focused.
"I think… I think… You know everyone's supposed to call it 'The Special Region'?"
"Yeah, why is that?"
Itami's eyes drop to the floor. "It's a… Legal thing. So that we can pretend that it's part of Japan."
Captain Thompson frowns and shakes his head.
"I'm-. We are the Japanese Self-Defence Force. Not the Japanese Army. Because the treaty we signed at the end of World War Two made it so that is all we are allowed. It's in the constitution. And we can't conquer new land, because it's in the constitution."
"But that's…" Thompson's frown deepens. "But you're… Doing it anyway?"
"Sort of. Yes, but… No?"
"Oh. Like Iraq. And Afghanistan."
"No. N-o, they keep saying that we're not doing it like that."
"How is it different?"
"They haven't got to explaining that part yet. We only just started fortifying the other side of the gate."
"I'm sure your generals know what they're doing." Captain Thompson chuckles. "Glad someone learned how not to do it from those shit-shows. Word of advice? Make sure that your local allies aren't heroin-dealing child-rapists."
"Ah." Lieutenant Itami appears to realise that he should pay attention to a statement like that, but his brain isn't cooperating. "Okay?"
"Yeah, you wouldn't think that was something you… Something you had to spell out, but here.. we.. are."
There's a moment of quiet contemplation.
"You know everyone's supposed to call it 'The Special Region'?"
"Didn't we just..? Yeah? 'cause they're pretending it's part of Japan."
"I think… There's a plan."
"Sure?"
"No. I mean… Making relations worse with America. Calling it 'The Special Region'. Some things… If all we're supposed to do is defend Japan, a Self-Defence Force is all we need. But if we start arguing with America and they move their fleet and close their bases, and we might have to fight China by ourselves, then we need a bigger army."
"Oh. Yeah…"
"And I think… I think there's a plan. Because most people wouldn't see what they were doing, they just see America moving its military away. Which would make them worried. So… Maybe they could get the support to change the constitution."
"I could see that. But… They couldn't know about the gate. Could they?"
"No, but it's… There's an actual attack. People in Japan actually died."
"Well, yeah?"
"But if Americans actually help… That ruins things. Because if they get to Ginza too quickly, then it looks like we need Americans. But don't need a bigger army."
"Oooooooooohhh… So…"
"Nothing. There's nothing… It might not be real. I don't think we have a plan for being invaded like that."
"Britain does."
Three sets of eyes lock onto my ring, though in Diabo's cause it's more because I just reminded him that I exist. Lieutenant Itami frowns.
"The… British army has a plan for Roman soldiers teleporting into Britain. That seems a bit… Strange."
"Yes. And for the Biblical apocalypse. And for being invaded by an army of elves. And for a lot of other things like that. It's a planning exercise the British Army gives to officer cadets. If they're good enough, they go in a drawer, get assigned a reference number and become the official plan for that eventuality."
"Huh." The Lieutenant nods slowly. "It's weird, but it makes sense. It would have been helpful if we had something like that."
"So… Look." Captain Thompson leans a little closer to Diabo. "Can..? Can your people open more gates?"
"No. We couldn't even open this one. Our gods open them for their entertainment, and close them when they get bored. They might open one to your country… The Sanderan Empire wouldn't attack you, but some other nations might. Or they might not. It's not up to us."
"Can we pay them to open gates?"
"I don't know. Maybe. They want things, but if we could persuade them to open gates somewhere useful we would have been doing that already. And we wouldn't have come here."
"Yeah, that makes sense." Captain Thompson flops back against the settee. "Man, we coulda saved so much time just asking you this stuff."
Lieutenant Itami nods. "We could have just told you."
Diabo nods as well. "And we should have just left the gate alone."
Captain Thompson picks up his sake bowel and raises it as a toast.
"To doing stupid shit."
Diabo and Lieutenant Itami smile.
"To stupid shit!" / "To stupid shit!"
22:44 Japan Time
"You were..? You were there? Ho-how were you there?"
Captain Thompson's sake-addled brain seems to be having difficulty with the idea that Lieutenant Itami was in Ginza when the gate opened. Honestly, I'm a little surprised myself. A thin orange film covers them both to translate drunk-English into drunk-Japanese, and vice versa.
Diabo nods.
"Did you hear something before it opened?"
"No. Nnnnn. No. It's a shopping district, yano? I was… Just shopping. Wasn't even armed. Just… Just started tryna get everyone away from them. Until backup came."
"We didn't know that cities this big could exist." Diabo isn't actually drunk -he values his ability to spot assassins too highly to allow himself to get that intoxicated- but he is tipsy. "In our… In Sadera, it's so much smaller, and there are so many more soldiers that we could respond more quickly."
"We could respond quickly." Captain Thompson drops his right hand to his side, deciding that reaching for a refill isn't a good idea. "Had helicopters ready to go. An' the guys in the embassy, the marines, there were only a couple a' blocks away. All they got to-to-to do was shoot a couple a' those pig-guys."
Diabo frowns. "Marines?"
"Yeah?"
"On land."
"Yeah?"
"So… Wouldn't they be soldiers?"
"Don't fuckin' tell them that."
That doesn't seem to make any sense to him, but he appears to let it slide, slumping back against the settee.
"Anyway…" Captain Thompson frowns as he tries to remember his place. "Anyway. I know… Y'know… Japan-American… Diplomatic stuff ain't so hot right now, but what was up with that? I mean, we've been friends for decades. My sister-in-law's Japanese, an' her family... Okay, they don't live anywhere near Ginza, but they might have. It's like… There's plenty of people I don't like much, but if they were on fire right in front of me I'd still put them out."
Lieutenant Itami nods, eyes not entirely focused.
"I think… I think… You know everyone's supposed to call it 'The Special Region'?"
"Yeah, why is that?"
Itami's eyes drop to the floor. "It's a… Legal thing. So that we can pretend that it's part of Japan."
Captain Thompson frowns and shakes his head.
"I'm-. We are the Japanese Self-Defence Force. Not the Japanese Army. Because the treaty we signed at the end of World War Two made it so that is all we are allowed. It's in the constitution. And we can't conquer new land, because it's in the constitution."
"But that's…" Thompson's frown deepens. "But you're… Doing it anyway?"
"Sort of. Yes, but… No?"
"Oh. Like Iraq. And Afghanistan."
"No. N-o, they keep saying that we're not doing it like that."
"How is it different?"
"They haven't got to explaining that part yet. We only just started fortifying the other side of the gate."
"I'm sure your generals know what they're doing." Captain Thompson chuckles. "Glad someone learned how not to do it from those shit-shows. Word of advice? Make sure that your local allies aren't heroin-dealing child-rapists."
"Ah." Lieutenant Itami appears to realise that he should pay attention to a statement like that, but his brain isn't cooperating. "Okay?"
"Yeah, you wouldn't think that was something you… Something you had to spell out, but here.. we.. are."
There's a moment of quiet contemplation.
"You know everyone's supposed to call it 'The Special Region'?"
"Didn't we just..? Yeah? 'cause they're pretending it's part of Japan."
"I think… There's a plan."
"Sure?"
"No. I mean… Making relations worse with America. Calling it 'The Special Region'. Some things… If all we're supposed to do is defend Japan, a Self-Defence Force is all we need. But if we start arguing with America and they move their fleet and close their bases, and we might have to fight China by ourselves, then we need a bigger army."
"Oh. Yeah…"
"And I think… I think there's a plan. Because most people wouldn't see what they were doing, they just see America moving its military away. Which would make them worried. So… Maybe they could get the support to change the constitution."
"I could see that. But… They couldn't know about the gate. Could they?"
"No, but it's… There's an actual attack. People in Japan actually died."
"Well, yeah?"
"But if Americans actually help… That ruins things. Because if they get to Ginza too quickly, then it looks like we need Americans. But don't need a bigger army."
"Oooooooooohhh… So…"
"Nothing. There's nothing… It might not be real. I don't think we have a plan for being invaded like that."
"Britain does."
Three sets of eyes lock onto my ring, though in Diabo's cause it's more because I just reminded him that I exist. Lieutenant Itami frowns.
"The… British army has a plan for Roman soldiers teleporting into Britain. That seems a bit… Strange."
"Yes. And for the Biblical apocalypse. And for being invaded by an army of elves. And for a lot of other things like that. It's a planning exercise the British Army gives to officer cadets. If they're good enough, they go in a drawer, get assigned a reference number and become the official plan for that eventuality."
"Huh." The Lieutenant nods slowly. "It's weird, but it makes sense. It would have been helpful if we had something like that."
"So… Look." Captain Thompson leans a little closer to Diabo. "Can..? Can your people open more gates?"
"No. We couldn't even open this one. Our gods open them for their entertainment, and close them when they get bored. They might open one to your country… The Sanderan Empire wouldn't attack you, but some other nations might. Or they might not. It's not up to us."
"Can we pay them to open gates?"
"I don't know. Maybe. They want things, but if we could persuade them to open gates somewhere useful we would have been doing that already. And we wouldn't have come here."
"Yeah, that makes sense." Captain Thompson flops back against the settee. "Man, we coulda saved so much time just asking you this stuff."
Lieutenant Itami nods. "We could have just told you."
Diabo nods as well. "And we should have just left the gate alone."
Captain Thompson picks up his sake bowel and raises it as a toast.
"To doing stupid shit."
Diabo and Lieutenant Itami smile.
"To stupid shit!" / "To stupid shit!"
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